Comments on: Please resubmit your inquiry after it has been properly notarized. Regards, your flatmates

By: anonymous

anonymous — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:08:47 +0000

Ugh, that first sentence IS NOT A QUESTION.

Use a period, motherfucker.

By: Joshtyn

Joshtyn — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:20:01 +0000

omg!!! that’s hilarious!! I actually laughed…out loud…. bless Andrew

By: MAMARILLA2

MAMARILLA2 — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:49:45 +0000

No you di’n't. *snap*.

By: infant tyrone

infant tyrone — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:51:58 +0000

First in war,
First in Peace,
and First in the hearts of his flat-ware-mates !

G. Dub.
G.W.
Gee Whizz

By: mcdsc

mcdsc — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 20:45:55 +0000

Well there is still no tin opener; I have no idea where that has gone. He has since lost his Tesco eco bag and has written two notes about that. I am thinking about leaving Andrew a note telling him I cant read.

By: Bexita

Bexita — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:16:31 +0000

More like 6 0r 7 euros. The euro isn’t *that* strong against the pound and dollar.

…Yet. >:)

By: Canthz_B

Canthz_B — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 01:58:11 +0000

That’s “Cannes”.

By: mystic_eye_cda

mystic_eye_cda — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:06:34 +0000

still dieing!

By: park rose

park rose — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:15:58 +0000

A period after the date is a welcome relief for some.

By: Neeners

Neeners — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:11:43 +0000

Who says ‘Best Wishes’ to somebody you are accusing of stealing your tin opener (aka can opener)?

That’s like saying,

I say old chap, I do believe you’ve stolen my wallet. Do be a good man and return it as I am currently using a less desirable wallet. One with less money in it. Cheerio, tut tut and all

YOURS TRULY,
Andrew (the douchey guy you mugged)

By: Palomon

Palomon — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:32:57 +0000

Why the period after your name? I was sort of on ole’ Andrew’s side for a second, but he put a friggin’ period after his “bottom of the Declaration” signature and I found myself rooting for whoever stole the opener.

Frankly, I don’t think Andrew wrote the note. He is, in fact, a near-toothless bare-knuckle boxer, loan shark enforcer or Starbucks barrista who whined about his missing opener. One of the other toughs in the apartment overheard and wrote the note in faux posh style.

By: Critical Grass

Critical Grass — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:45:38 +0000

It’s a cheap tin opener, but it has feelings too!

what?

By: Critical Grass

Critical Grass — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:39:26 +0000

Yo mamma, chica.

By: pony girl

pony girl — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:58:00 +0000

Andrew,

You never use me anymore.
You used to use me every day. Sometimes 2 or 3 times in a day.
Now I’m lucky if you use me once a month. I should have known that you’d found another opener when you allowed your friends and flatmates to use me whenever they wanted.

Well, now you will know what it is like to have your heart broken.

You will never see your precious posh tin opener again. I lured it away and threw it in the Thames.

Guess you’ll just have to make do with me, you pretentious pratt!

Sincerely,
and with no regrets whatsoever,
Your First Tin Opener

ps
This could have ended differently.
If only you’d been honest with me and treated me with the decency and respect that every cheap tin opener deserves.