The Sushi Nazi

October 14th, 2009 · 167 comments

Jack in Baltimore spotted this notice at a Maryland Chinese restaurant with a $7 all-you-can-eat sushi buffet.  (Overall, a pretty good deal, Jack says…if you’re comfortable the idea of eating “discount” raw fish.) But while most all-you-can eat buffets make their margins by filling you up with a bounty of cheap carbolicious fare, that strategy doesn’t seem to be working out too well here.  (Either that, or the proprietors here are pretty hardcore purists about the consumption — if not the spelling — of their nigiri sushi.)

No sushi for you!

I’d like to imagine this sign (source: “the Internet”) as the next in the series.

Rice Dick

related: the all-you-can-spell buffet

FILED UNDER: Maryland · restaurant


167 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Brittany

    I was at the most disgusting Chinese buffet I’ve ever been to the other day and regrettably couldn’t get a picture of the sign behind the counter informing customers they will be charged for ‘excessive waste of food’.

    Maybe these are common but I thought it was pretty ridiculous for a buffet. I imagine it was posted due to the hordes of people who file into the place, pay, load up their plates with food and simply walk out.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Maas

      If the price they charge is based on how much the average person will eat, then people taking more than they will eat, and just throwing away the rest throws that all off. They can either raise the price, in effect charging you for food other people throw away, or pass the costs to the people throwing away the food, it sounds fair enough.
      Just take reasonable amounts of the foods you want, then go back for more if you want more. It is an “all you can eat” buffet, not an “all you can take” buffet.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Neeners

      What if I just throw the food? I bet the guy doesn’t like food fights either. Darn!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:18 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Palomon bang

      I’m no businessman, nor am I a sushi chef, but as the former owner of 1987 Crown Victoria, I think I know a thing or two about the restaurant biz…
      simply sell the Nigri without the rice.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:33 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Betty

      This is standard practice at sushi places – it’s the traditional way to eat it, and it’s how they make their money. Albeit, they could’ve written a more professional note.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Lauren

      Hahaha, I know what restaurant this is! I live in Baltimore, and the first time I saw that sign I thought WTF?

      Oct 20, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Kelly

    I generally charge by the ball, too… but the context is totally different.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:13 am   rating: 133  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   leftfoot

    I can’t bring myself to eat buffet sushi. I just can’t. It apparently is a good thing because the one in my neighborhood was shut down a month back for 37 health code violations. YAY!

    (and by the way “nigri” could be taken as a very racist typo…)

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      That must be a rice ball made using brown rice.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:00 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   mamason bang

      Or blackened fish…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Palomon bang

      I’m glad you brought that up. I didn’t have the balls, rice or otherwise.
      “Rice balls” is vaguely racist, too.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   HairySwede

      And by vaguely racist you mean overly sensitive?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 11:29 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Sharlene

      Racist typo or ethno-centrism on your part?

      Plenty of words from other languages that sound like negative words in English. Heck, there’s even an African country called Niger. Can you believe that?

      Oct 20, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   jackie

    That’s pretty funny – since sushi is Japanese – that they were serving it at a Chinese buffet!

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:24 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Canthz_B bang

      Someone should tell owners of Greek diners about the new business model which dictates that only the cuisine of their native country be offered.
      That would go a long way toward slimming their novel-like menus. :-P

      Oct 14, 2009 at 7:22 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   angela

    When dining at all-u-can-eat sushi joints, one must obtain a large bowl or two of miso soup in which to discard your rice. It is dark enough to conceal it all in the bottom of the bowl. Don’t be an amateur! I have yet to find a work-around for Mongolian BBQ “Do Not Smash The Meat” rule, and they watch over you like a hawk.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:26 am   rating: 116  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Linda

      Ah angela, I like the way you think!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 3:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   tinkerbell2

      ..not enough to give her a thumbs-up, though?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 3:34 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Sarah

      You know how the frozen meat is in rolls? You arrange those in your bowl so that they’re end up around the sides, and then you fill those with smaller meat rolls and all the other stuff. it also makes your bowl bigger so that your pile can go higher.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:07 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   angela

      Brilliant!

      I’m nominating you for a nobel prize next year for bringing peace to Mongolia(n BBQ joints).

      Oct 14, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   eyehearta2

      You can do the same thing by constructing a “celery stick bowl extension”. If you are clever, you can weave strips of chicken in and out of the celery sticks and easily double the size of your bowl. Plus, this would not violate the smashed meat rule.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   mamason bang

      Why is meat smashing disallowed at Mongolian BBQ’s?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Gretal

      What is “meat smashing” and why is it disallowed?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   pony girl bang

      All of the mongolian BBQ places I’ve been to charge by the weight. (pre-cooked)
      So meat smashing would make no sense.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   gmcfly

      For the uninitiated:
      Mongolian BBQ typically let you fill up a bowl with meat and veggies, which the BBQ chef will fry up for you with some noodles. There is one price for however much you can put in the bowl. The meat is in thin frozen slices all rolled up.

      Hence, people smash the meat down in the bowl to get more meat for their money.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   pony girl bang

      hmm.
      glad that all the mongolian BBQ places I go to charge by the weight.

      Don’t think I could construct any of those weird celery/chicken baskets and meat sculptures.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   jenocide

      Another alternative is to put it in the pot of tea, or carry it to the bathroom in a napkin and throw it away. But don’t try and flush it. This obviously happened at an all-you-can-eat place I went to, because the toilet was swirling with an interesting mix of seaweed, rice, and some sort of unknown yellowish substance. I guess they didn’t have Sandra around to clarify what the plumbing can and can’t handle.

      edit: I should obviously scroll down before I comment.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Vanessa

    I’ve heard about other Chinese buffets with “no food wasting” rules. Maybe the Chinese just can’t relate to our culture of being obese, gluttonous, and wasteful. It kind of runs contrary to their traditional philosophy.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:37 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, it was a philosophy?

      I was always told to clean my plate and reminded that there were people starving in China in the same breath.
      Now I know the Chinese were just being philosophical.
      I should have known though…it was the middle of the Cultural Revolution. :mrgreen:

      Oct 14, 2009 at 3:04 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Critical Grass bang

      “Take all you want, but eat all you take.”

      THAT’S philosophical.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 12:01 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   mamason bang

      ♫ I went down to the Chinese buffet

      To get my sushi hunger filled

      I was standing in the line with sushi nazi

      And man, did he look pretty ill

      We decided that we would have nigiri sushi

      My favorite flavor, except the rice

      I sung my song to Mr. Nazi

      Yeah, and he said one word to me about the price

      I said to him

      You can’t always take what you want

      You can’t always take what you want

      You can’t always take what you want

      And if you try sometime, you just might find

      You get charged a fee!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   William

    This note is COMMONPLACE in buffet restaurants.
    What’s next? You’ll post a note you saw on a the entrance door of an Italian restaurant that says, “Please keep this door closed. Thanks.”?
    Slow news day.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 1:39 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   bowloftoast bang

      Have you seen such a note?! That would be f’n hillarious.

      Are you someone’s bitter ex-boyfriend?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:05 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      Keeping a door closed is pretty straight forward. Nothing odd or creepy about that. But the idea that someone actually thinks they’ll be able to get even a red cent from someone who paid before eating after they’ve finished eating?
      That’s both sublime and surreal.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:10 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   kidsis

      At our local Asian food buffets, we pay after we eat. Every Asian food buffet I’ve ever been to is like that. Then again, I’ve never seen a sign like that at any place either….

      Oct 14, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Canthz_B bang

      Well then, my experiences really don’t count.
      I shouldn’t have gone to a buffet that did things differently than the ones you’ve been to.

      I think the reasoning is that it’s better to get the cash and give the customer a receipt to show when they gorge themselves, than it is to have customers gorge themselves, then leave without paying or to find out after they’ve eaten that they have no money.

      I suppose it’s up to the proprietor.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   anglophile bang

      In my experience, a place where you can either order the buffet or order off a menu bills you after, and a place where it’s only buffet bills you before.

      But that’s just my experience. You may have experienced a different experience.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Canthz_B bang

      And believe me, Glo is experienced!

      YOWZAH!!!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Palomon bang

      Dude, it’s the specificity of the note. I mean, nigri snatching, rice balls…

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   Palomon bang

      Balls, William. Balls.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   Canthz_B bang

      My chocolate, salty balls.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 5:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Seems to me that if you want the raw fish and not the rice you’d be better off at your local fishmonger than at a buffet.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:04 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Kelly

      Or just at a pond, or something.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:07 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   park rose

      Or ordering sashimi.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:12 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Canthz_B bang

      rose, I have to admit to never having tried sushi or sashimi.
      I prefer American food, like spaghetti or veal parmesan! ;-)

      Oct 14, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   park rose

      sushi always comes with rice and isn’t always raw, nor even always fish *purist, aren’t I?*

      sashimi is raw fish, but can be raw horse as well, raw meat, it doesn’t come with rice. It’s cut sliver thin. I know a lot of people know it, but I told oi we state the obvious yesterday… and so…

      I agree with you about old-fashioned dinky-di (in my case) Australian dishes like laksa and baba ghanoush. Not a preference, but equal ;) The haggis and black pudding can stay in their countries of origin, though, and I’ll leave ‘rilla to toy with the spotted dick.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:29 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Critical Grass bang

      Is leaving the “rice ball” the new eating just the top of a muffin?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 7:47 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   fan bang

      give me the spotted dick any day.

      Raw fish and horse meat? No, thank you.

      I have never seen spotted dick? What is it? Is it connected to the horse ? I think I will have just the rice balls after all.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Canthz_B bang

      I’m not sure, fan…inter-racial? Dalmatian?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   unholyghost2003 bang

      bleh. no spotted dick for me! grossfruitcakepuddingcrap.

      Raw fish yes please!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I would druther sashimi to fish tacos any day, and as for haggis and spotted dick… Well, call me adventurous or insane…Spotted dick is a bit sweet for me and I have had wierder than haggis in mexico, which may have very well included horse meat. My version is , if you got a weak stomache.. don’t ask what’s in it.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 9:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   bowloftoast bang

    I made my first million selling pink bristol board in the amerasian market.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Stormin' Outa Norman (OK)

      So, I guess there *was* life after dropping out of architecture school…

      If we (here) had a nickel for every “Don’t waste food” sign we’ve seen at buffets we could all go out and order exotic expensive sashimi and wash it down with Sapporo after Sapporo…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    I think my Mom would have made a fine employee for these folks during her working years.
    Ah, I can still hear her constantly screaming “Eat your rice!” during our dinner time.
    Yes, she’d make a fine rice ball consumption enforcement matron all right.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:19 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   GK bang

      If anyone was ever well-suited to supervise people filling their mouths with balls, it’d be Canthz_B’s mother. Leave it to the experts!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:44 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      That was cold-blooded, GK…God help me, I love it! :lol:

      Oct 14, 2009 at 6:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   becstar

    I’ve never seen a sushi buffet before. I can’t work out if I am appalled or impressed. So glad America can still amaze me sometimes.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Meesh

      I moved to NC from DC a few years ago. The number of buffet restaurants down here still amazes me. There are buffets of all kinds: Chinese, Thai, Greek, Italian, and of course American cuisine at places like Golden Corral and Pizza Hut.

      If NC isn’t heaven, I don’t know what is.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Palomon bang

      I thought heaven was a baseball field in IA.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Buffets are a lot like that here in the South. If you build it, they will come.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Mr. Lee was proud of his new dollar per rice ball left on plate policy. On the very first day the policy was implemented, every plate was rice ball free. “Yes, this going to work out fine!”, he thought to himself delightedly. It wasn’t until post-closing clean-up that he found the rice balls neatly piled against the walls, under the booths.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:52 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Just think of the fun one could have secreting the rice balls about one’s person to get around the non-ball-eating surcharge: picture less ‘endowed’ men and women walking in, men who aren’t just ‘happy to see you’ and buxom women walking out…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Oh Really

      Never mind, I should read ahead before posting.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 12:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   mamason bang

      Me too!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   pony girl bang

    Musubi fight!!!

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:56 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   pony girl bang

    *sigh*

    I miss being able to buy musubi at 7-11

    Oct 14, 2009 at 2:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Critical Grass bang

      Spam musubi?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 7:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Sarah(ats a Ruck) Palin Sez

      “Mahalo”, but “No Mahalo” on the Spam-ball!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   pony girl bang

      Nah, I like the plain musubi, or sometimes one with hot dog or pipi kaula in it.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Critical Grass bang

      Uh, that’s good.

      Oh, great! Now I’m hungry…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   bowloftoast bang

    The secret here is to take about 40 of these bad boys, eat all the fish, then mold all of the remaining rice into one GIANT riceball. That way the penalty is only $1.
    If you still have an issue with the surcharge, you can throw the giant riceball at the cashier as a diversion when you run out the door.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 3:18 am   rating: 87  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Linda

    Don’t you think there is an implication that people are stealing the food as well? Ie stashing it in their handbags or something to cook up at breakfast time?

    Oct 14, 2009 at 3:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      No.
      .
      .
      .
      .
      the only issue is that people are loading up their plates, picking the best bits off, eating them, and throwing the rest away. Like if you went to a pizza buffet, loaded your plate, picked off and ate all the pepperoni and threw the rest away.
      If people ARE stealing the raw fish by slipping it in a purse or pocket I believe the buffet people are with me in saying that is a problem that will work itself out since purses and pockets are hardly the recommended storage location for uncooked meat.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 3:47 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Canthz_B bang

      Plus, women normally shy away from smelling like fish in public.
      The old “Oh, that’s just my purse.” excuse is rarely believed.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 3:52 am   rating: 62  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   pony girl bang

      He wants them to fill up on the rice.
      When they only eat the sashimi in the sushi, and leave the rice, it will take a lot more of it before they get full.
      So, he makes less money.
      Back home, hardly anyone would even order rice at a nice Chinese or Japanese restaurant. It’s considered filler.
      That’s what he wants them to do, fill up on the rice in each sushi, not just the expensive sashimi and/or vegies

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:16 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Down on the Drag in Austin

      Worked at a Shakey’s Pizza Parlor in Austin near the University in 1972-3.

      During the “Bunch of Lunch” all-you-can-eat midday madness we would occasionally see studently-looking (and some non-studently) individuals stashing pizza +/or fried chicken into backpacks or guitar cases.

      Never noticed it in a Chinese buffet though.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   oi!

      oh did somebody mention veggie sushi?
      I don’t eat meat/fish but I love way too much veggie sushi.
      yes I am aware of the irony.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   pony girl bang

      Down on the Drag,

      There used to be a Shakey’s here?
      Cool!
      We used to have one in Kane’ohe. We used to go on our way back from country.
      Yum.
      I miss Shakey’s.
      Wish they still had one here in Austin.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Down on the Drag in Austin

      PG,
      29th and Guadalupe, where the street angles to the right after it angles to the left at 27th.

      Used to have up and coming live bands late in the week. Some of Asleep as the Wheel came in a couple times and jammed with one of the bands.

      Now their website sez closest to Austin is in Auburn, Alabama. Waaay too far to go. If you’re ever in San Diego, there’s one at Grossmont shopping center. Go for nostalgia, but then try a pizza at Filippi’s and be happy.
      In Seattle, it’s Piecora’s…maybe still Vince’s, but it’s been a while…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   pony girl bang

      Down on the Drag,
      Yeah, Auburn is kinda far. But, it’s driveable.
      If I’m going to go all the way to the west coast, I may as go home.
      And get Peppino’s pizza.

      I miss their pizza so much I dream about it.
      It’s an Italian restaurant in Kailua. Been there for as long as I can remember. Best chicken caccitore ever!
      Dangit.
      Now I am jonesing that pizza. And there is nothing even close to that sauce and that crust here, or anywhere, actually. Except maybe northern Italy.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 11:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   Valerie

      My dad used to be in one of the bands that played at that Shakeys during those years actually :) I still have a picture of his dixieland band there in red striped vests hehe.

      As for the rice, while I am sure that the sign is mostly about the money, if the sushi rice is made from scratch, they are probably honestly offended by the fact it wasn’t eaten lol.

      On a side note, I found a Shakey’s in Boise, Idaho a few years ago. No live music but some fun nostalgia!

      Oct 20, 2009 at 12:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Chris

    Agreed with unholyghost.

    Also, “American food” like spaghetti and veal parmesan? Lulz.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 4:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   jadefirefly

      Nobody laughs at your lulz when the person who made the joke already made it into a joke.

      Additionally, nobody laughs at your lulz when you can’t attach it to the correct comment.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:24 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   GK bang

      Oh Chris, you little gigglebraxer you!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   park rose bang

      He’s a little giggleminx.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 6:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Canthz_B bang

      He’s a braxpanda.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 7:00 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   bowloftoast bang

      I want to buy him the Universe’s most popular drink: The PAN-galactic Gigglebraxer

      Oct 14, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Geek Goddess

      Was that a Braxton Hicks Contraction that he slipped into that statement?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   GK bang

      It’s like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a green comment.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 4:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Sho

    Sushi…all you can eat? Wow.

    I can see how they’d have trouble keeping profits up. It’s not like a chinese buffet where they can serve up truckloads of noodles and chow mein.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 5:25 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      Not to worry. They’ve called Gordon Ramsey.
      The buffet is out, and they will soon be offering the best crab cakes in Baltimore.

      “Run yoor restraunt, not yoor ego! This is yoor bissness, not yoor hawbey!”

      Oct 14, 2009 at 6:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   pony girl bang

      I would love to read some of the passive- aggressive notes written to chef Ramsey.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Woman on the Verge bang

    Good thing the rice is nice and sticky. You can just stick it to the underside of the table. Hey, it worked when I was six…

    Oct 14, 2009 at 6:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      From what my parents told me–over and over, every time we ate at a Chinese restaurant–I used to enjoy simply throwing the rice at passers-by. The sign said nothing about leaving rice behind in the form of individual rice-grains left adhering to fellow diners.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      Childhood memories can be confusing.
      Are you sure that wasn’t a wedding? ;-)

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:37 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Woman on the Verge bang

    Do you think they have someone guarding the bathrooms? I’ll bet there’s a sign on the stalls that says “NO FLUSHING TAMPONS, PADS, OR RICE BALLS.”

    Oct 14, 2009 at 6:47 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Canthz_B bang

      Luckily, we’re still allowed to flush vomit there!

      Team zero confidence in a flimsy plexi-glass screen to keep germs away from my food.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 7:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Julie

      Our pipes cannot handle “big jobs” like rice balls.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Havingfitz

    Now this could be fun. Take about 30 pieces, wait until the guy at the next table gets up to take a leak, and dump all the rice balls on his plate. I also want to know what the charge is if I leave the fish and just eat the rice balls; will I be shoved onto a subway car with 2000 other people? Disgrace my ancestors? Have to be a contestant on “Wheel of Sushi”? They’re not very clear…

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:22 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      Hmm, if the guy at the next table goes to take a dump, do I have to leak my rice balls onto his plate?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 7:26 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Makya

    My favorite part is the exclamation point. “Enjoy!” A strangely aggressive suggestion.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Critical Grass bang

      Makya, if you refuse to “enjoy” you’ll have to pay a fee.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    In Soviet Russia rice ball eats you!

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:29 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   blde

    Those rice balls are f*cking delicious.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      Then you eat them.

      After all, you must have worked up some appetite coming up with such an original statement, and you can save others some money in these troubled times.

      Aw, come on…you knew it was coming! :-P

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   adam

    The rice is the best part about chinese food. These owners are stern. Stern, but fair.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:49 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Joe 2

    Reminds me of Catholic grade school: an “enforcer” nun would stand by the garbage cans in the cafeteria. Your tray had to be ABSOLUTELY clean or you’d be forced to eat every last bit of food.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Canthz_B bang

      Beats the hell out of what Father had in store I’ll bet!!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:06 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   fan bang

      Oh, yes, I remember, more than once I went out to recess with food in my socks.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:10 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Catholic Schoolgirl

      That sounds HAWT.

      What would happen if you didn’t? How exactly did they ‘force’ you?

      I want every nun paddle spanking detail…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   fan bang

      I don’t know, I never got caught, they just thought I was rather young to have such big cankles.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:19 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Cankles that were especially noticeable given that the rest of you was so toned from outrunning the neighborhood dogs each evening in your beef stew socks…

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:30 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.6   Ang

      wow, nothing like forcing you to sin….ahhh Catholicism at it’s finest! :-D

      –outrunning dogs in beef stew socks– that’s a priceless visual! Love it!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.7   fan bang

      I really hate to ruin your priceless visual, but being catholic and all we were poor. My Mother had a hard time with no birth control, so no, we didn’t get hot lunch. I was talking about nasty old bread crusts from our sandwiches made of cheez wiz.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.8   mamason bang

      awww… :cry:

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   fan bang

    Sushi buffet? Not for all the rice in China.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Critical Grass bang

    Eating the fish and leaving the rice balls is like breaking pasta, or barbecuing without beer and picanha… Or being private with yourself with no one watching you through the window.
    That’s just wrong.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Bunnee

      “Eating the fish and leaving the rice balls”…

      … sounds like one selfish woman!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 10:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   pony girl bang

      or a lesbian

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Critical Grass bang

      not that there’s something wrong with that.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   pony girl bang

      of course not.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Sarah

    Wow. There is a Japanese hibatchi /sushi place near us with a lunch buffet and they have almost the same sign. It must be a maryland thing.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   zbird

      …or a sushi buffet thing…

      Nov 10, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Critical Grass bang

    - No sushi for you!
    - What?!
    - Come back in one year! Next!

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Wakarimasen deshita

    Isn’t that spelled Nigiri?

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Canthz_B bang

      WHO YOU CALLIN’ A NIGIRI?!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   bowloftoast bang

      Now now CB, no need to play the rice card.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   park rose bang

      It gets sticky awfully fast.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 1:02 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe, but I’m staying with it like white on rice.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 5:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Alex

    I hate it when my girlfriend ignores my balls too…

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Critical Grass bang

      Hey Alex, everybody hates that.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   mamason bang

      Well, maybe if you quit wrapping them in fish… :-?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 5:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah… MAYBE.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   Canthz_B bang

      Alex, you should charge her a dollar per neglected ball.
      She’ll either get her mind right, or she’s paying for your next six-pack in short order.
      Win-win I’d say.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 10:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   Palomon bang

      I hate when Alex’ girlfriend ingores my balls as well. What’s her problem?

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   pony girl bang

    Spam Musubi – ‘cuz it’s tastier than one hamburger and it’s healthier too.

    or so the song says, but I kinda doubt it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn4rZe1lbgA

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   kat

    A couple of the Japanese places here in NYC have all-you-can-eat specials on certain nights of the week, with the same rules. It makes perfect sense to me, since the fish is the more expensive and less filling part of the nigiri — and if you just eat the fish and leave the rice, you should have ordered sashimi instead of trying to take advantage of the sushi special. *shrugs*

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Lindsey

    I didn’t know the Clean Plate Club had member fees. Or non-member fees, as the case may be.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   shoutabyss

    I had this experience at a Mongolian BBQ restaurant. It wasn’t all-you-can eat but you did get to fill your own bowl. Part of the fun was how you stacked the bowl. I usually put bean sprouts on top ala “Marge Simpson hair.” :)

    One day I’m there eating and a family with two young boys is at the next table. The two boys had loaded up their bowls with nothing but beef. No veggies. And their bowls were overflowing.

    The restaurant didn’t even complain.

    You know what happens next, right? The boys nibbled a bit and left 90 percent of what they had taken in the bowl. What a waste!

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Jonathan

      Meh, breeders will be breeders. The world would be done a service if those boys slide crotch-first into a pole a little too hard.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   GK bang

      Sadly it’s too late for your father to do likewise.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 4:56 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   darkstar1485 bang

    ok, so i am assuming that if i go to this buffet and leave the rice balls on the table or on a napkin, i get off scott free? give me a break!

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   Missy

    That sign is so New York! There is an all you can eat Sushi place on the Upper West Side that my girlfriend and I often go to. Same “policy”. We’ve learned to outsmart these guys by bringing in small little shopping bags from Coach or Bananna Republic, topped with copious amounts of the tissue they usually pack on top of your bags. Just 2 girls out for some shopping and a “light” lunch, right? Hey, we did not come there to eat RICE all afternoon and get bloated! With the shopping bag wedged firmly between our right thighs and pocketbooks, we keep stuffing the rice in the bags in between all that tissue. Absorbs any moisture so the bag dosen’t leak. We are able to knock back ample amounts of the fish with no problems and still stay slim. Hey, they aren’t going to search our bags!
    By the way, technically the rice is not always wasted since we go to Central Park and dump the bags of rice in front of a flock of pigeons….it’s gone in 60 seconds!
    Everyone gets to enjoy.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   mopey

      I know one couple that got banned from an Upper West Side sushi place because they were discovered trying to hide their uneaten food. Oh, the shame.

      Oct 14, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   aaa bang

    There’s a reason why I get my sushi from an actual (i.e. not buffet) Japanese (not Chinese) restaurant. :/

    Oct 14, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   mamason bang

    The one time I went to an all you can eat Chinese food buffet, I took a portion of what appeared to be yummy sesame chicken and when I tried to eat it, it was hard as a rock. I decided not to complain, but tried to find something edible at the buffet because we were with friends and my husband always complains that there’s a 50-50 chance that I’ll complain about the food when we go out. So anyway… When the “waitress” said something to me about wasting food I kind of snapped. I vaguely remember being escorted out of the restaurant in handcuffs by two large and rather handsome police officers. Papa still gripes about the ultimate price of that lovely evening out, but I just smile, confident in the knowledge that a waitress somewhere is still finding sesame chicken bits everytime she gets private with herself.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 5:23 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Gretal

    I was at a sushi restaurant in Michigan which advertised a lunch buffet, and they had the same rule. I don’t think that it is uncommon or unreasonable.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   S.

    Thankfully, the all-you-can-eat sushi places in Vancouver aren’t buffet-style: you simply order from a set menu, and they bring you as much as you order. If you don’t eat what you order, they charge you for that specific dish. Sashimi is not usually on the all-you-can-eat menu.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      We have a sushi bar at our China buffet. My two girls and I adore the stuff, the Nigiri is always fresh. Sashimi is not on the all you can eat, but since we frequent this restaurant often, they have come to know us well enough where the sushi chef will smile at us and bring us out a nice plate of salmon or tuna sashimi just for us… We don’t leave rice balls.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   choco

    My local Japanese all-you-can-eat buffet has a similar sign.

    “Customers will be charged for plates of food not consumed.”

    But I totally understand because some people just waste food when going to a buffet.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 7:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Neeners

    Screw you sushi nazi! I’ll eat my g.d. food any way I please Martha. I paid for it.

    After the transaction it’s none of your business what I do or don’t do with the food unless it’s illegal in your establishment and if it is, I’ll get it to go ass munch.

    And hey, what if I decide to eat all the RICE and leave the FISH? Rolled up into little balls of course. Are you gonna charge me for them because it’s hard for those damn fish to swim with such big cojones?

    Oct 14, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Neeners

      Ahhh…. I feel better now. I hate it when people use food as punishment. Takes me back to younger days when I couldn’t leave the table unless I cleaned my plate.

      I wish I could have told my parents off the same way!

      Oct 14, 2009 at 8:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   I don't get it

    OK, there’s a misspelling but that rule is standard policy for all you can eat sushi (a scary concept and I don’t even eat fish).

    Oct 14, 2009 at 9:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Canthz_B bang

      Too bad you don’t get it.
      I mean, you didn’t even get that “Name” is where you enter a name to go by, and “LEAVE A COMMENT” is where you enter commentary.

      I suspect you’ll have no trouble understanding the next note.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 5:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Stream of bat's piss

    I ain’t eating anything that smells like fish.

    No way.

    No fucking way.

    Oct 14, 2009 at 11:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Neeners

      But would you smell something that eats like a fish?

      Oct 14, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #47   Primal Scream Therapy

    FORTY SEVENTH !!!1111!!!!111!!11!

    I’m in prime position.

    Oct 15, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   park rose bang

      That’s nothing out of the ordinal, even if one has to admit that, extraordinarily, there’s nothing divisive about your comment. However, someone could have a beef with it, if they wanted to, I guess.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   Critical Grass bang

      Yey! I’m 46 times hap… Whatever.

      Oct 15, 2009 at 5:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.3   infant tyrone bang

      Hey rose,

      If there’s some Mongolian Dude with a beef about incisors or divisors or whatever…tell him (or her) ta meet me over at toity-toid an’ toid for a one-on-one correspondence course…an’ youze kin tell ‘em to pack a lunch an’ bring their abacus, too.

      Computationally yours,
      I/T

      P.S. (((((The sticky rice card))))) Wow! Got that with mango slices for dessert?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 2:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Renagade676

    That’s what she said.

    Oct 15, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Michelle S.

    Team Sushi Proprietor.

    Eat it all if it’s an all-you-can-eat. Otherwise, go to a real Sushi Bar.

    Oct 15, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Greg Bulmash

    Tell them you have diabetes and white rice causes dangerous rises in your blood sugar levels. You are not obligated to take an insulin shot or suffer the damage high blood sugar causes to your body just to protect their profit margin.

    If they refuse you service or make you pay extra for the uneaten rice when they know you’re a diabetic, they’re breaking the law. You can sue them and have them fined.

    Nov 2, 2009 at 2:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   choco

      Sure you could sue them but then you would lose a lot of money if don’t actually have diabetes. And then they would have cause to counter-sue and you’d lose a lot more.

      I think it is just easier to only take what you can eat.

      Nov 2, 2009 at 2:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   InYourSleep

    Oh…what if you have a rice dick already? then is it okay???

    Nov 23, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Just some guy

    If I order rice and fish and decide to just eat the fish, then kiss my hairy one for more money.

    I already paid for my rice and fish, you can have the rice and sell it again but I’m not paying for not eating what I already paid for.

    WTF?

    Dec 14, 2009 at 12:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   That must be some damn good coffee… | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] The Sushi Nazi Share0mail [...]

    Oct 5, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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