P.S. You’re not invited to my birthday party, either!

October 16th, 2009 · 215 comments

Brett in Raleigh, North Carolina had to move out at the end of last semester after his lease ran out, and while he didn’t want to have to resort to a finding a random Craigslist roommate, that ended up being the case.

Brett’s mea culpa: “Being a grad student, I am not home much and have responsibilities to take care of on campus, but obviously some of my other responsibilities were being overlooked at home.” (Lucia, by the way, is the name of his cat.)

passiveaggressivenotes.com - survivor: craigslist roommates edition

on passiveaggressivenotes.com: page 2 of i'm not here to make friends

related: i can hear everything

extra credit: “i’m not here to make friends” reality show mashup [youtube]

FILED UNDER: college life · North Carolina · roommates


215 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Packbacker94

    Go Wolfpack!

    And you may be busy, but you do need to keep your promises Brett.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   cx420ns

      THE ROOMMATE SPEAKS!!!!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   PkG

    Is “b/c” cretinese for “because”? Yeah, “because” must take hours to write. I’ve written it twice now and I feel I’ve wasted an evening.
    Christ, there are some dumb cunts around.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Rick Rottman

    I like to read too, but only stories that involve people who watch cable TV.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Bubblah

      Pssh. Sounds like a waste of time. I tend to spend my free time staring at my hands for hours just before pulling all of the elastic strings out of my socks. Ah the simple joys of autism.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   leftfoot

    Brett sounds like a douche.

    Take care of your own friggin cat. Jeeez.

    It’s one thing to never be home (which is probably mostly a blessing for his room mate), but if I have to clean up a cat box that belongs to a cat that I never wanted in the first place, there’s going to be cat poop in someone’s bed. (hint: not mine.)

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      This is to become practice for when we finally have children…They want the pet, but we scoop the cat litter.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   mamason bang

      I had a roommate who for some reason would not take care of his cat, which he claimed to love. The cat hated me and would not eat if I put her food out and stopped using her litter box because I was the one cleaning it. She became so ill that I called animal protection to come out and evaluate the situation while my idiot roommate was at work. They took the kitty with them when they left and he didn’t notice for more than a week that his cat was gone.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   pony girl bang

      I’ve met 4 Bretts in my life.
      They were all douches.
      Maybe Brett is Latin for douche?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 11:11 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Mpfff

    Not really feeling any sympathy for Brett. Seems like the note was justified, especially if he’s never home often enough to give his roommate a chance to speak with him in person.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   leftfoot

      Or at least yell…

      Oct 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   kdaniel

    I don’t hang folks, regardless of their promise keeping abilities, but apparently lynching roommates is fine and dandy for this roommate.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   On the Fingers of One Hand

      Not being friends with soon to be ex(tinguished) roommates just makes it so much easier to get that 5-step grieving thing over with so you can get back to Craigslist and post the next inviting “rooms/shared” ad.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 12:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Kyle

    Yeah, they’re not as fun to read when you understand what the note-writer is saying. Brett sounds like a douche.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   hm

    trying to figure out why the roomie just didnt adjust the AC….

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Flaboy2425

      He’s too busy reading to fool with the thermostat. Emptying the litter box takes all of his spare time.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 2:22 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Bubblah

    My AC stays at 75 degrees. Anything below that any my nipples keep erect all night, deterring me from a warm nippled sleep.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   mamason bang

      My AC stays at 74 degrees to keep my nipples erect all of the time.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Critical Grass bang

      Erect nipples FTW.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Imo®

      MINE TOO!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   aaa bang

      I don’t have nipples. Not anymore, anyway…

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   mamason bang

      hahahahaha… wha… ewwww… awwwww! :-(

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   spottedbuddy

      @8.4 aaa: What happened, did Brett’s hungry, angry cat get them in the middle of the night because the self-absorbed asshole didn’t feed the poor little furry guy in addition to not cleaning his box?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   The Grammarphile

    …And you know what else, Brett? Not only am I not interested in being “friends” with you, but you’re not even worth finding a “new piece of paper” to write this note on. So here, have some “trash,” which you can line Lucia’s litter box with IF you ever get around to cleaning it out…

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:50 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Henry

      I love it! I did almost the same thing the other week. I was being pestered to return a key to someone I had severed ties with (dumbass never stopped to think I could have easily made copies if I was interested). She wouldn’t call me to come out on the sidewalk with the key when she passed my house (my suggestion, as she drives past my house twice a day, five times a week), so I mailed it. I didn’t think it best to just put a key in the envelope, so I taped it down with an Arbor Day sticker (junk mail) to some heavy paper out of some other junk mail (buy discount checks with puppy dogs and clowns now!) and just sent that. Not even a note, saying, ‘here’s your key, bitch.’ Just her key and some old trash.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   emilou

    umm.. wish i had saved my notes from my last roomate.. they were priceless, but they usually got wadded up into a little ball and thrown in the trash the second i got done reading them. example: Em: when you cook (which I never do because it makes a mess), it would be great if you sprayed 409 on the wall behind the range because you get grease on it. Before you moved in, that wall never got any grease on it. And your boyfriend is not allowed to put beer in our refrigerator, so he will need to bring his own cooler when he wants to bring alcoholic beverages over..”

    Oct 16, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   From Somewhere in Kansas

      Em (if that doesn’t bring back bad roommate memories),

      I don’t think I’m the only one here who more than almost anything else in the whole wide world wants to know the story behind your ex-roommate’s refusal to allow your boyfriend to put beer in the refrigerator.

      But I might be the only one here who’s also wondering if your ex-roomie tried to put restrictions on your storage rights, too.

      It might be therapeutic to share, doncha think?

      Your niece,
      Dorothy

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   pony girl bang

      I’m thinking that he would knock over the OJ or something when he put his beer in.
      Or he’d put in an entire case and crowd the fridge. or smoosh other foods.
      Or maybe the roomies were alcoholics and couldn’t take the temptation?
      or they were beer snobs and didn’t approve of his beer of choice?

      ok, now it’s bugging me and I wanna know.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Critical Grass bang

      I wanna know too.

      beer snobs, really?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Oh Really

      See, I would have continued to put my boyfriend’s beer in the fridge, saying “oh, no, that’s my beer, I just let him drink it.” Unless she paid for the fridge and all the electricity to run it, she was entitled to half the space in it, and you can do whatever you want with your space, including storing your boyfriend’s (or any other guest’s) beer.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   infanttyrone bang

      Saddle up ladies, we’re off to Fort Riley to get us some answers.

      Fort Riley, Kansas…We’re not in Kansas (w/ Auntie Em) anymore, Toto…

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Neeners

      10.4 That was my thought. What gives one roommate the right to be the room’dictator’? If everyone shares the same rent and utilities payments, who exactly determines who is in charge of things? Maybe some roommates need to be ASSERTIVE.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 9:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   GK bang

      When you’re ASSERTIVE, you make an ASS out of E and RTIVE. Wait, that doesn’t look right… :-(

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   beer snob

      beer snobs, really?”

      Now, much as I can’t stand elitism and snobbery in general… it’s not so strange to regard anyone that would choose to drink Bud Light as inferior, is it?

      Oct 20, 2009 at 6:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   GK bang

      I suppose technically speaking the particular brand of psychoactive poison one consumes is a less stupid reason for regarding your fellow man as inferior than some, like the ever-popular skin colour. Still, that’s a pretty low bar, so I wouldn’t get too self-congratulatory just yet.

      Oops, too late.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 7:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   beer snob

      Honestly, I’m not beerist. I know some Fosters drinkers personally, and they’re perfectly lovely people.

      p.s. related: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB0ZOu_EZ2M

      Oct 20, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Sho

    I wish I could write a note like that sometimes, but I fear it would end up on here.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Critical Grass bang

      Why are you so afraid of your note ending up here?
      It’s the best place for a PA note to be AND we’re all friendly people as you can see.
      C’mon! Show us your note, y’all!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   pony girl bang

      I wish I could write a note like that sometimes, but I fear it would end up on here.

      I fear it would end up with my house being burned down.

      (Did I mention that I am surrounded by assholes who ignore their dogs and refuse to
      A)keep them secured in their yards,
      B) clean-up after them when they escape and make a beeline for my front yard,
      C) make them shut the hell up when they bark (pretty much 24 hours a day)

      Oct 16, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   GK bang

      Have you considered “planting” some broken-glass flowers in your front garden? Maybe smear a bit of bacon over them to add that pleasing aroma.

      That should take care of problems A and C. You might still have to clean up once more, though… blood is good fertiliser for your real plants though.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   infant tyrone bang

      GK,

      Puhleeaze , as much as I’m a cat person now, I had a number of cool dogs growing up.

      Baiting dogs with bacon-smeared glass is (to quote Chris Rock) “just mean”.

      Plus, Austin’s crack CSI team could probably get PG’s DNA off of the glass, in which case…as CB sez, “Wait for it…”

      (rose…is that a dissonance in the paws’s?? It’s either Thelonius or Zato-Ichi)

      her ass would be grass….

      As long as you can do it anonymously, just call the 5-o POlice about the dogs and let them hassle the owners.

      Oh, and if you have a problem with deer, like my brother does in nearby Dripping Springs, call ‘glo.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   pony girl bang

      I don’t mind the wildlife. Well, except when they get into my engine and chew my wires, or get into the ceiling and knock light fixtures on my head or get into the attic and scare the hell out of me because it sounds as if a family of illegals is living there, or werewolves, really, since I had just been watching a werewolf movie when something HUGE thumped around right over my head.
      It’s the pets that tick me off. I am responsible with my dogs and cats, and, silly me, I expect others to follow suit. At the very least, I expect to be able to not walk in someone else’s dog’s crap in my own front yard.
      I called 911 once, when some guy was climbing over my back fence. (My dog was on him like white on rice, and the guy climbed back over the fence) Anyways, there had been home invasions within a mile of my house, so I brought my dog inside and called 911. They never showed up. I don’t think they’ll come by for dog poop.

      ps- I don’t call 911 anymore. I bought a gun.

      pps- the gun is for people, not wayward pets!

      Oct 20, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   infant tyrone bang

      I don’t know the regulations, but if there’s a leash law on the books in your area, Animal Control might come out for dogs running free, especially if you mention that there might be Foam on the Mouth. Not surprised 911 didn’t make it. Maybe the wrong bureaucracy.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 7:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   adam

    Why brett sucks-Who names their cat lucia?

    Why the roommate sucks-Everyone knows the whole point of having A/C on when you sleep is to put it on the coldest possible setting and doubling or tripling up on the blankets.

    I would have been way too cool for both of these guys.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   tinkerbell2

      what’s wrong with Lucia?

      I mean, Brett *does* suck, but that’s not why.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 7:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Julia

    I don’t know what people have against Craigslist roommates. Yeah, there are weirdos on there, but they are easy to suss out. I found amazing roommates on Craigslist, and met several others that would have made great roommates as well. Thanks, Craigslist!

    As for the note, wow, if I were Brett, I never would have sent this in. This only makes him look bad.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   aaa bang

      Brett probably thinks he’s all vindicated and shit ‘cuz he’s doing IMPORTANT SHIT at grad school. I mean, how could we not see it his way?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   cTo

      Grad school *does* eat your life and drain your soul. But I very specifically did not get a pet because I knew that going into it.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   aaa bang

      Everything in the adult world eats your life and drains your soul. But I think Brett realizes he’s not special now. I think.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   park rose bang

      aaa, we’re all special in our special way, even nipple-less automatons.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 9:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   infant tyrone bang

      I know I’m new here now, y’know, but if aaa is secretly not an automaton but a Native American, then he has a chance to snag himself a trophy and pocket some cold, hard cash by winning…..

      The Indian Nipple-less 500 !

      ET gone

      Oct 17, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   aaa bang

      Not only am I not a Native American, but I’m not a he. :D

      Oct 18, 2009 at 12:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   infant tyrone bang

      Dude (Californiaisms attenuate slowly),

      I’ll try to remember that, y’all (visiting TX in 2 weeks and brushing up).

      Y’all can still race at Indy though, I’m sure there’s room for a4th woman,
      ET

      Oct 18, 2009 at 1:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   Geek Goddess

      But can all y’all race there?

      I am at least one fourth woman, as I am positive that one, if not two, of my grandparents was a woman as well.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   infant tyrone bang

      Can all y’all race ?

      Hell, Yeah, bring the whole damn family!

      File under Pasadena Star-News Sports section photo of the week:
      Danica Patrick and GG (aka Heather) posing with her two mommies and two grannies…Jan & Dean playing over the PA, “Go Granny, Go Granny, Go Granny Go!”

      Oct 18, 2009 at 4:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.10   GK bang

      If I’d'a meant alla y’all, I’d'a said alla y’all!

      If Brett and his roommate dosn’t realise they’re not special yet, I’m sure they will by the time we’ve finished tearing into this note. Passiveaggressivenotes.com; like a public service, in a way.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.11   infant tyrone bang

      PAN: A Public Service In All Respects (y’all)

      Oct 20, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   epic

    i have had experience with a roommate who didn’t clean up after her pet, and it freaking sucked. brett, get your act together!

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Goldie

    If my roommate was never at home, OMG I’d lick his cat’s ass clean and turn my lingerie into vacuum filters for him! It’s like having the whole place to yourself while only paying for half.
    I’d say it’s time for Brett to clean up, make the key, move the futon, and throw a huge party for all his friends and friends of friends. Repeat every week till the roommate realizes how good she had it.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   RigaToni

      Where do I vote this “greatest solution ever” ?

      Seriously. Lick his cat’s ass clean. First spittake in years.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   mamason bang

      There’s never been a more appropriate time for a spit-take, if you ask me.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Directionality Counts

      Yeah, better the spit-take direction than the vacuum direction.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   infanttyrone bang

      Not sure if this will work, but…

      1) Go to Goldie’s house,
      2) Kidnap her roommate + gently stash them away for a few days,
      3) Catnap (well?) Lucia + stash her in a kennel for a few days,
      4) Go to a costume store + get a nice cat suit,
      5) Go back to Goldie’s…but you saw that coming didn’tcha…

      Oct 16, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   spottedbuddy

      @ #15.2 mamason: Um, I would prefer any spit-take launched in my direction be before licking the cat’s ass clean, not after. o_o

      But then again, I cleaned my cat’s box several times a day – really, Brett, how would you like to walk around in that in your bare feet? So what makes you think it’s OK to make your cat do it?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   aaa bang

    Am I the only one hoping Brett will comment here and try to defend himself?

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:26 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   mamason bang

      No. No you’re not.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Woman on the Verge bang

    So, the cat is Lucia and the roommate is Yeah? No wonder Brett is confused.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah is the best name EVER!

      Imagine the possibilities:

      Oh, Yeah!

      Yeah, you rock, dude!

      And so on…

      Oct 16, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   mamason bang

      Yeah, right.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   A Simile Uses Fewer Muscles Than a Frown

      Yeah, as if!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah, you don’t know anything.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   infanttyrone bang

      Yeah, maybe….

      Oct 16, 2009 at 6:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   mamason bang

      Yeah, no!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 6:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   Critical Grass bang

      Hell, Yeah!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 6:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   mamason bang

      Hell, no! Oh, wait… that’s not the point, is it?

      Yeah, I blew it.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah, you blew it.
      You blew it too, mamason.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   anglophile bang

      Yeah, whatever. :|

      Oct 17, 2009 at 9:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   infanttyrone bang

      I’ll take “Things Molly Bloom said more than once” for $800, Alex.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.12   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah, you got it.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.13   infant tyrone bang

      Load up on guns and bring you friends
      It’s fun to lose and to pretend….

      Yeah!

      Oct 17, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.14   spottedbuddy

      She loves me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.15   GK bang

      Late at night you’re hearing my voice in your head, Yeah.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   aaa bang

    This is just Brett’s practice for marriage. He’s just doing research to see what he can get away with not doing and which claims of DOING IMPORTANT SHIT ELSEWHERE will work once he has a permanent roommate.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   The Baroness Pontalba

      Sadly, this is very probably the closest to the truth.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 8:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Havingfitz

    Dear Brett:

    I’m sorry, but it’s over. I’ve tried and I’ve tried but you just don’t get it. I’m tired of the broken promises, the lies, and the mysterious piles in my litter box that I KNOW I didn’t make. I’m leaving you, and I’m taking Yeah with me. I hope your busy life keeps you warm at night, Brett. A part of me will always love you, but I just can’t live like this.

    -Lucia

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:31 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   anglophile bang

      P.S. I wouldn’t take that futon to the office now. It has a bit of an odor to it.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Schrodinger's Lives

      …It has a bit of an odor to it…

      And Lucia has an airtight alibi!
      Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   TP

    Team green marker writing utensil – I wouldn’t want to clean up after someone’s cat or do all the chores in the apartment, either. I wouldn’t even mind the chores as much as cat poop … ew. Brett sounds like the type of man that needs to be trained someday.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   GK bang

      “Writing utensil”? I think you have a long and promising career in middle management ahead of you.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   infant tyrone bang

      Well, maybe one of y’all does…

      Oct 20, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Stephen

    “I’d rather read then watch TV”

    Oct 16, 2009 at 1:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Meesh

      As opposed to “I’d rather read than watch TV,” which is clearly what the note writer was going for.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   mamason bang

      Q: Would you like to go to dinner and a movie?

      A: I’d rather read, then watch tv.

      Q: Well, could you take out the recycling and clean out the litter box, first?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   ...you're the top, you're the Mona Lisa...

      Yeah, the epitome of punctuality…takes on all commas.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      They can’t read and watch TV?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 8:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   GK bang

      What do you get from a glut of TV?
      A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
      Why don’t you try simply reading a book?
      Or can you just not bear to look?

      You’ll get no commercials

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:27 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   cody

    she sounds hella annoying if i were brett i’d be like bitch please

    Oct 16, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Duncan

      ‘Yeah’ is clearly a boy’s name.

      In all seriousness though, I think this sounds a lot more like an effeminate man than a woman. The use of ‘folks’, the fear of yelling, the willingness to take recycling long distances all point to it.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 2:09 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   mamason bang

      Cock punch for using the pseudo-word, “hella”.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Duncan

    Who says ‘Lucia’ is the name of the cat? Brett? But we all seem to think he’s a douchebag, don’t we? So why believe him.

    I say Lucia is actually Brett’s autistic sister who keeps pulling out the elastic from her socks and leaving it around the apartment.

    In other news; if Brett is away most of the time why can’t Yeah just set the a/c however he likes it? Does he not know how? Does Brett reset it every time he comes home? Clearly that’s impossible for, as we’ve already established, Brett is too lazy to clean up after his cat/autistic sister. Has to be Lucia again. What kind of name is Lucia anyway? It’s a name with another vowel added. ‘Yeah’ is a much better name.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Neeners

      Lucia is really the name of their shared girlfriend, he just covered it up by saying it was a cat.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Chandie

    Team Yeah.

    Being a grad student is no excuse for not taking care of your pet.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   beanster

      that’s precisely why i sold my hedgehog to undergrads.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      But a hedgehog can never be buggared…

      Oct 17, 2009 at 2:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   beanster

      there’s also that.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 2:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   morpho aurora bang

      mama – have you been in the scumble again? :D

      Oct 17, 2009 at 8:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   spottedbuddy

      @ #24.2 MAMARILLA: Why does that sound like a line from a disturbing limerick?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      More like a disturbing song. *lights up a dogend*

      Oct 18, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Geek Goddess

    Before the correction was added, it said cleaning up Lucia. I think somebody needs to go in there and check on Lucia right away, although I am guessing that it will be too little, too late. Poor Lucia, victim of escalating room mate angst.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Critical Grass bang

    Brett is definitely a douchecanoe.
    To be lazy enough not to do your chores around the apartment is one thing, but not taking care of your own pet is just cruel.

    Lucia is the real victim here.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   aaa bang

      + 75 points for using the word “douchecanoe”

      Oct 16, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   ashley

    wow. I think it’s about time for a new roommate.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Weren't You Here Just Yesterday???

      Ashley,

      Wha’ happened, did you Miss Place your current roommate ?

      Time to hit that Richmond Craigslist roommate page then…

      http://richmond.craigslist.org/roo/

      Watch out for non-performers and ones that are SO SERIOUS

      Oct 16, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   mamason bang

    First of all, I have to disagree. It is cool indeed to have the A/C on at 65 degrees at night. Very cool. In fact, cuddle up with your bestest Snuggie cool.

    Secondly, what exactly is taking “it on the wolfline”? Is that some new sex thing you young kids are doing these days?

    Oct 16, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   pony girl bang

      Looks like Brett’s excuse to not take the recycling in was that he’d have to use the campus bus service (the Wolfline.)

      But I think your idea is way better.
      I expect to see a bunch of deviant ads on craigslist now with guys that reguire their (non-existent) women to’ take it on the wolfline.’
      Take it.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Neeners

      Ma, is a Snuggie that freaky cocoon thing you crawl into with your clothes still on that has arm holes they sell on tv? I would be too paranoid to use one in case a fire broke out and I got caught up in it and burned to death before I escaped. Why the hell is everyone so happy looking while wearing it? Snuggie is another word for wedgie isn’t it?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 9:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   aaa bang

      I thought the phrase was “taking it up the wolfline.” Silly me.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 10:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   mamason bang

      I’m certain that my the Snuggie is flame resistant. All the finest clothes are.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   infant tyrone bang

      aaa,

      Time is often “of the essence”.

      On the other hand, topology can occasionally be a life or death matter…

      Before attending frat parties in Raleigh, be sure to read the guidebook…

      Oct 17, 2009 at 7:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   much to my chagrin bang

      I thought about buying a Snuggie, but then I realized I could just wear my robe backwards. Same thing.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 8:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   pony girl bang

      I thought about buying a Snuggie, but then I realized I could just turn up the dang heat.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 8:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   aaa bang

      I thought about buying a Snuggie just so I could burn it for being so stupid. But then I just turned my robe backwards and burned that. Now I don’t have a robe, but I did have fire. For a short while.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.9   pony girl bang

      When it was over, did you say to yourself, “Is that all there is to a fire?”

      Oct 18, 2009 at 12:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.10   GK bang

      Mamason, 65 degrees might not be “cool” if it’s Celsius! Or, since they said “degrees”, we should take that at face value; clearly “A/C” doesn’t stand for “air conditioning”, but for some sort of contraption that tilts the entire room. Not cool to have it tilted at 65 degrees while Yeah is trying to sleep.

      Team Using Measurement Units Correctly!

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.11   infant tyrone bang

      GK,

      I think the full-on industry jargon for what simple consumers would call “your room tilter dealie” is “Attitude Control”.

      Most of them have presets that limit the inclination to a maximum of 45 degrees, so either Yeah or Brett must have broken the seal tape on the controller.

      Hoo-boy…that’s sucker just went out of warranty…watch out for those windmills Mr. LaMancha!

      P.S. Although this kind of thing might have been great back in the days when arcades had actual pinball machines…kind of a literal leveling the playing field thing

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Nuvo

    oh shut it.
    what’s up with this commenty names? There is a comment box for that specific purposes.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Neeners

    Need more cheese with this whine

    Oct 16, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Canthz_B bang

      Cheese, whine and crackers…

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      *honk honk* and two hard boiled eggs.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Neeners

      some pork rinds

      Oct 20, 2009 at 7:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Anonymous

    I love how these types of notes are sent in by the people who are NOT taking responsibility for their actions. Very mature.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 6:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Seanette bang

    Roommate PANs always make me more grateful I’ve never had to deal with living with someone I wasn’t related to. Yeah, family can be a pain, but sounds like unrelated roomies are a LOT worse.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 6:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Duncan

      The Yeah family can be a pain? I take it they’re neighbours or something. You’re saying you blame the parents then? It seems reasonable; if they called their son/daughter ‘Yeah’ there must be something slightly wrong with them. No wonder he/she/it/they wound up living with lazy-grad Brett and his cat/autist/shared girlfriend Lucy-Oh. But if the family is the yeah family, that would make him ‘Yeah Yeah’, unless he only has one name. Just ‘Yeah’. Like… Madonna. Or Barrackhusseinobama.

      It’s true folks, Barrckhusseinobama only has one name. I challenge the administration to prove otherwise by producing a birth certificate which shows at least hyphens. We need a real man to lead us. A man of indeterminate gender, who isn’t afraid to clean up reluctantly after cats/shared girlfriends that don’t belong to him. Team ‘Yeah Yeah for President’ starts now, people. “Yeah we can”.

      Yeah isn’t interested in being ‘friends’; he only cares about paying down the deficit, free bus passes for people with bags of recycling and keeping the nation’s central air at a reasonable temperature. And he’s very particular about promise keeping.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   pony girl bang

      For some reason, I have that Beatles song in my head now.

      She Loves Me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…

      dangit.
      (Apparently, it’s always about me. Me, me, me.)
      Except in this case, when it should be you.
      Oh well.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 7:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   TP

      She Loves YOU, not Me.

      Oct 16, 2009 at 9:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   pony girl bang

      oh, really?
      oops.
      (Tell her I’m not into chicks.)
      (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

      Oct 16, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   clumber

      That’s not what you told me when we were ‘bareback’ riding!

      bursts into tears and runs from the room sobbing….

      Oct 19, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   pony girl bang

      No hard feelings I hope, clumber. I’ll try just about anything once.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   snatchbeast bang

    Brett’s an ass for not taking care of his cat.

    I hated my roommates.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 7:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   pony girl bang

    I don’t know what kind of weird-ass thermostat these guys have, but on my thermostat, 65 is below 70.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   mamason bang

      The ass thermostat can be very tricky to adjust. Kegel, anyone?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   GK bang

      I wish I had an ass thermostat for the morning after I’ve eaten spicy food for dinner. :-(

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Me

    Team not-Brett! I would be pissed if I had to clean up after someone else’s pet, too.

    Oct 16, 2009 at 10:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Stream of bat's piss

    Hands up if you think that Brett put the wood to the writer of this note, and then dumped her.

    She’s pissed because she got loaded and did a back nine job with Brett.

    Bwahahahahhahahahahaha

    Oct 16, 2009 at 11:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   pony girl bang

      what’s a back nine job?
      Having sex on a golf course?

      Oct 16, 2009 at 11:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   infanttyrone bang

      Sweet, sweet Pony,

      For some reason the song “New Potato Caboose” comes to mind sooner than “Box of Rain (Delay)” or “Here Comes Sunshine”.

      Sorry to read about your neighborhood pooch/yard problems.

      I could give you some old-school Austin tips if there were only an area to which we could migrate such an off-topic conversation.
      I’ll look (and be) around…with a modicum of curiosity you should find me both here and behind the curtains…

      Dupree/HNA/MotW/etc

      Oct 17, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.3   GK bang

      Her pipes can’t handle “big jobs” like the back nine.

      THX YEAH

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.4   infant tyrone bang

      Careful there Hoss, y’all might git more than your voice mail deleted by one a them hooves…

      Oct 20, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Anna

    I’m on Brett’s side. Roommate is a whiner. If you’re never home, you’re just not going to end up having time for petty shit. It’s the way it is. If you’re home enough that you have time to get worked up enough to have to write a note about petty shit, maybe you’re going to end up doing a little more around the house. ‘Cause when you’re the only one home, that makes you the only one who needs cleaning up after.

    Oct 17, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   anglophile bang

      *violently crosses Anna’s name of list of potential roommates*

      The cat uses the litter box and has to eat whether Brett is there or not.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   aaa bang

      It’s somewhat disconcerting that you consider cleaning and taking care of living things that you’ve chosen to take responsibility for petty shit. Especially taking care of living things that you’ve chosen to take responsibility for. And we don’t know how much Yeah is there. They probably have as much shit to do outside as Brett does, they just don’t use their responsibilities elsewhere as a lame-ass excuse for not being an adult and getting their shit done. I’m guessing the only reason that the apartment is clean and the cat isn’t dead and walking in its own shit is because Yeah’s there.

      But maybe Brett realized he was being a dumbass. I mean, he himself said “obviously some of my other responsibilities were being overlooked at home.” I don’t know if that’s sarcastic or not, but at least he’s realizing that it was important to Yeah.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 1:41 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   spottedbuddy

      Seriously, why have a pet if you are so damned important that you don’t have time to take care of it?

      And scooping the poor cat’s nasty box takes a lot less time than scanning these notes and posting them to snivel and whine about being asked to take care of one’s responsibilities.

      @ #37.1 anglophile: Don’t forget to violently cross Anna’s name off of your list of potential coworkers, too. I suspect this attitude is a way of life.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Geek Goddess

      O_O Lucia is a zombie kitty? How did I miss that one?

      *dead and walking in its own shit*

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Vashti

    Dude, it’s North Carolina.
    There is a long history of hanging folks for a lot less than not keeping their promises.

    GO FOR IT!!

    Oct 17, 2009 at 1:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Canthz_B bang

      Begs the question: “Just what does he do with folks who don’t keep their promises?”

      There seems to be lots of wiggle room between a friendship and a lynching.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 1:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   bowloftoast bang

    Seeing as Brett submitted this note, I think this is his catharsis. He’s obviously familiar with PAN, and he had to know he was going to get it when this got posted, and, he’s no doubt monitoring the comments…Hi Brett.
    I think Brett has genuine remorse about being a bad roommate – so much so that he’s left himself open to being called a douche 20 or so times, and he’s out there, quietly taking his lumps like a man.
    The mea culpa is ackowledged, but it takes genuine stones to put yourself in the line of fire for the sake of absolution.
    Brett, Karma is the business of the Universe and the Universe alone, but you’ve got my vote for taking the steps to clear things up, own it, and settle your Karmic debt.

    Team Brett.

    Oct 17, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   pony girl bang

      I can’t relate.
      I’m perfect.

      (is there a sarcastic font?)

      Oct 17, 2009 at 2:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   Canthz_B bang

      I can’t relate, but I’m never sarcastic. Yeah. :roll:

      Oct 17, 2009 at 3:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   park rose bang

      You’re Yeah? ;)

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Can’t relate. I’m perfectly sarcastic.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 8:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.5   aaa bang

      There have been a lot of people though that have sent in notes directed at them as a way of saying “Look at how wrong the note-writer is and look at how right I am!” Some of these people seemingly have never been to PAN before and try to defend themselves/throw net tantrums once they realize a) people think they’re full of shit and/or b) people are making fun of them just for the sake of making fun of them.

      I don’t know if Brett’s remorseful or not. But it’s PAN, so I’m going to make fun of him anyway.

      EDIT: So evidently Brett is remorseful. :O

      Oct 17, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.6   beanster

      (comic sans)

      Oct 17, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.7   mamason bang

      Me, I’m not so good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.8   Geek Goddess

      I just simply can’t relate. To anything.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.9   Canthz_B bang

      It’s all relative.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.10   GK bang

      I can’t be sarcastic; I’m perfectly related.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.11   MAMARILLA2 bang

      So you can be relatively sarcastic?

      Oct 19, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Itsme

    Brett’s a moron. The roomate isn’t much better….who puts up with crap like that? I would’ve called the pound for the cat and kicked out the jerk.

    Oct 17, 2009 at 3:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   Critical Grass bang

      Ok, so Brett is a mormon and his roomate is hippie?
      That explains a lot. They should have their own reality show, really.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   GK bang

      A television show about an “odd couple”? Why, what an ingeniously novel idea!

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   In Brett's defense...

    I’m the person who begged Brett to post his note because I thought it was funny. He feels really bad that his roomie felt bad, and didn’t want to defend himself, but I’ll fill in a couple of details…

    (1) “Yeah” is female. She’s sort of hippie-ish; Brett didn’t have a clue she was at all upset because she’s really laid back.

    (2) Roomie also has a cat. Both Brett and Yeah have litter boxes in their bathrooms. Ends up that both cats prefer to use the litter box in Yeah’s bathroom. That’s not really his fault. Can’t really control things like that. Brett does clean the litter box in his own bathroom, but it would be kinda weird if he went through her bedroom to get to her bathroom to clean her litter box. In my opinion, this is a little whiny.

    (3) When Brett moved in, he asked Yeah if he could turn the A/C up (or is it down?) at night. She didn’t have a problem with it, and never said a word to him about it for months…until this note.

    (4) Regarding the “promises” to buy a vacuum filter, make a spare key, or move the futon: Brett never really promised to do any of those things. He said, “I should make a spare key,” and “I should move the futon.” It’s really his business if he wants to move his own furniture into a common space. The fact that he hadn’t made a spare key to leave at his girlfriend’s house doesn’t affect Yeah at all, so I’m not sure why she’s upset about that. Again, Yeah never mentioned any of these things for months, and apparently had been stewing about them that whole time.

    (5) The recycling. Yep, Brett should have done that. He knows it.

    So…Brett is not the perfect roommate, but Yeah could have said something rather than go on a rant like this.

    Oct 17, 2009 at 5:57 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Critical Grass bang

      So, Yeah is a hippie-ish girl’s name?

      Yeah… I should have seen that coming.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 9:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   park rose bang

      Explains why she wrote in green.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 9:27 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.3   Critical Grass bang

      AND why she reused the paper sheets.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 9:39 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.4   Bunnee

      and why she took trash on a bus.

      Oct 17, 2009 at 4:08 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.5   Geek Goddess

      Okay, wait. I think I figured out who Brett is, and who Yeah is, and who Lucia is, but who is Trash, and why do they need to be taken on the bus?Is Trash Yeah’s autistic cousin or something?

      *confused now*

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.6   park rose bang

      It might be an accent thing. Maybe she talked trash on the Wolfline.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 4:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.7   GK bang

      IBD, please inform Yeah that, going forward, Management would appreciate it if she could action at least one squirting penis on a note of this length. I appreciate that these are tough economic times, but we do have standards to uphold.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.8   Pers

      Brett has to get a friend to defend him…so he’s a limp wimp AND a terrible roommate? Wow, sign me up.

      Pfft – Brett fails at roommating.

      Pfft 2 – I went to grad school, I still found time to look after my pet. (If Brett knows his cat is crapping in the other litter box, the right thing to do would have been to go over the border to the other bathroom *gasp* and clean it up once in a while – it’s another bathroom, not the Berlin Wall, douchepatrol).

      Oct 19, 2009 at 7:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   bellytimber

    ok yeah Yeah made some reasonable-sounding points, but it was all pretty piddly stuff that she should have mentioned to Brett long ago. When this weird note is the first time Brett has heard about these issues, then what do oui know Yeah knows? Making it about “his word” and his honor is melodramatic. The goofy rant on Brett wanting some utopia without responsibilities is silly and patronizing. And putting “cool” in pun quotes in the first sentence? Yeah whatever.

    Oct 17, 2009 at 5:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Critical Grass bang

      Brett?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   bellytimber

      Yeah?

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.3   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah!

      Oct 17, 2009 at 6:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.4   mamason bang

      ♫ Mockingbird, Yeah!

      Everybody have you heard?

      *have you heard*

      Brett doesn’t clean up Lucia’s turds.

      He pays for cable and he thinks that’s fine,

      While I’m haulin’ trash on the wolf line.

      He may be nice but he won’t keep his word

      A/C set at 65… is totally absurd

      And that’s why I keep on tellin’ everybody

      Hear me now and understand

      He’s gonna buy a vacuum filter, man

      And he’s gonna have that spare key made

      Or I’m gonna find me a new roommate.

      I’ve been annoyed for really long time

      He’s gonna surely break this heart of mine

      That’s why I keep on writing with my green pen

      whoa, whoa

      Yeah

      Oct 17, 2009 at 11:01 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.5   park rose bang

      You certainly are a mocking bard, mama.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 4:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Jermaine

    That wouldn’t be Bret of the “Tough Bret’s” would it? Oh wait I see spelled with two t’s. Pity.

    Oct 18, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   infant tyrone bang

    Haiku for rose, rilla, glo, oi, aaa, wade

    Green ink on the note
    Green inks on the main thread, two
    Recycling pays

    Oct 18, 2009 at 5:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   aaa bang

      Babies in the thread
      Hippies in the green, you need
      One more syllable

      Oct 18, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.2   infant tyrone bang

      aaa,

      Not sure if you’re talking to *me*, Travis Bickle, driver of the yellowest haiku cab in town (all rides $5.75).

      If you pronounce recycling with 3 syllables, that’s OK with me.

      I usually do it in 4, with a sort of schwa sound between the “c” and the “l”.

      So, for all of you 3-stroke hog-a-cycle-riding kats and kitties out there on your way-out trip down the Wolfline, whether you’re whacked out wild on wacky terbacky or runnin’ for reality on the natch train, here’s a special rewrite by Colonel Travis live from his Alamo rent-a-haiku-mobile….

      Green ink on the note
      Green inks on the main thread, two
      Recycling repays

      Here’s Port Authority…. that’ll be $5.75, Ma’am…

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.3   Canthz_B bang

      I go with “re-cy-cling”, but that’s not to say I haven’t heard “re-cy-cul-ing” uttered, nor to say which is the “correct” pronunciation.

      ♫ Poe-tay-toe, Poe-tah-toe,
      Toe-may-toe, Toe-mah-toe,
      Let’s call the whole thing off. ♫

      Oct 18, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.4   infant tyrone bang

      Also File Under:
      Everything I Needed to Know,
      The Anachronist’s Cookbook,
      Chemistry Class with the Yummybomber,
      Werner von Werner’s Great Big Recycled Tin Can

      1) I won’t sign petitions griping about the re-cy-cling variation…but, my preference is for re-cy-cul-ing…it’s based on an orthographic/phonemic intuition (or maybe it’s an axiom of my Chomsky linguistic space; I’m a bit out of practice with the technical terms) that says a word formed by adding “ing” should have N+1 syllables compared to N syllables in the non-progressive, non-gerund original word.

      So, for “recycle” I start with 3 syllables and add 1 for the “ing”.

      I admit that there is a tasty temptation to elide the “u” or schwa sound when dropping the “e” and adding “ing”, but, in submission to my axioms, I eschew the pleasure in deference to the principle. But when I do this, I always recall another tasty elision described by the philosopher Rita Rudner. It leaves me with a pleasant taste in my mouth as I spend an extra erg or two pronouncing re-cy-cul-ing “the long way”.

      2) So here’s Rita’s cooking koan (remembered as best I can):

      When you were in Kindergarten, you learned mix flour and water and you got a nice paste.

      Later, you learned to mix flour and water and sugar and eggs…and you got…a cake.

      Where did the paste go??

      3) +25 points for anyone identifying the Great Big Tin Can

      Oct 18, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.5   Canthz_B bang

      I have a very limited grasp of grammatical terminology.
      It just fits my comfort zone that if I ride a bicycle, I’m “cy-cling”, not “cy-cul-ing”.

      But that’s just me…not asking anyone to agree or disagree, for whatever N+1 syllables compared to N syllables in the non-progressive, non-gerund original word reasons which are far too serious for me to contemplate here.
      In fact, I’d prefer that no one agree or disagree about such things on this site. Far too many grammar arguments break out and detract from the humor so many of us come here to experience.

      Speak as you wish, it affects me not.

      Oct 18, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.6   GK bang

      But tyrone, what are your thoughts on yaoi?

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.7   infant tyrone bang

      CB,

      The grammar stuff was, as far as I know, correctly terminologized…
      BUT all that stuff was a set up for retelling the Rita Rudner joke.

      If you don’t like Rita or didn’t like that joke…sorry bout that.

      I agree…will try to avoid grammar disputes…they should be dealt with *elsewhere* if engaged in at all

      So, then, do you pronounce bicycle more like “bi-skull” or more like “bi-sick-ull”. I say “bike” most often + maybe you do, but I’m asking about when we’re being formal, maybe polite because we’re speaking with someone whose native languish isn’t our dear English. Curious here.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.8   pony girl bang

      Y’all are makin’ the baby Jesus cry.

      ;)

      Oct 19, 2009 at 3:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.9   oi bang

      You won’t be able to get me read this thread. Ever. Even though my name in that thread is the biggest temptation.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 3:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.10   infant tyrone bang

      GK,

      Yowee-zowee indeed…didn’t even know ’bout that flavor of Japanese eye-candy-for-girls.

      They definitely didn’t have that stuff when I was living in Tokyo 51-53 years ago…well maybe they did and I just had the wrong plumbing equipment for anyone to offer it to me.

      Living in the future is like having bees in your head…but there they are…

      Or, as G. Carlin said way before he got stoned, “Hey, kids, if you’re gonna play a sport…go ahead.”

      Or as David Robinson said (about 88 %) to Dennis Rodman in an old commercial, “Not for me, but it might look good on you though.”

      P.S. If you had a typo and you really were asking about maoi-waoi, just drop the paca lo lo off in my mailbox before I head out to pony girl’s barn and I’ll get back to ya…maybe.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 5:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.11   infant tyrone bang

      oi,

      Happy Diwali again!

      No blood, no foul.

      No broken eggs, no omelettes.

      I can do it when I remember…it’s just that getting old impacts memory.

      Sorry, I forgot to avoid articles in your haiku.

      Oct 19, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.12   oi bang

      :)

      Oct 19, 2009 at 6:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.13   infant tyrone bang

      PG,

      All babies cry, c’mon now y’all.

      And besides, this is just making him (or Him if you need to do that) tough at an early age…cause the way I understand it, he’s going to have a mid-life crisis that’ll pretty much take all of his coping skills to work through…so maybe having to read people’s minds as they read grammatical analysis (WWJD?…read minds) isn’t quite the end of the world.

      I can understand your concern though…kid’s got himself a pair of lungs… he’s only been bawlin’ away for ten minutes and it already seems like about, oh, an eternity…

      Oct 19, 2009 at 11:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.14   Canthz_B bang

      So, then, do you pronounce bicycle more like “bi-skull”…?

      Did someone steal the ‘y’ in “bicycle” and not tell me? :mrgreen:

      Oct 20, 2009 at 12:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.15   pony girl bang

      THIS IS N THE WAY

      I GUESS THE ‘Y’ IN ‘BICYCLE’ WAS PICKED UP BY A MISTAKE.

      IT ONLY A FREE ‘Y’ (yall can get one on any blog) SO RETURN IT TO CANTHZ B PLEASE.

      I AM SO SERIOUS

      THX
      pony girl

      Oct 20, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.16   Canthz_B bang

      I usually get mine from…..
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      wait for it…
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      The Y!

      Oct 20, 2009 at 12:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.17   infant tyrone bang

      Also File Under:
      Dammit Jim! I’m an epidemiologist, not a shrinkage control officer!

      This is a public service Amber/Burnt Orange Alert…

      A Word to the Y’s.

      Don’t leave young’uns lying around the mail room. (or the Youth Center)

      Somone has been Boosting y’s (in the vicinity of Highways 71 and 290 E.)

      Give ‘em a cell phone before they leave home and y’all just act like a fish in a hold-em game..call ‘em, call ‘em, call ‘em to make sure they’re safe.

      Now back to the UT/Oklahoma game.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 1:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.18   GK bang

      If we could harness this guy’s boundless typing energy, could we solve the world’s energy problems?

      Oct 20, 2009 at 4:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.19   infant tyrone bang

      GK,

      Maybe…but it would cost you dearly in mochas and biscotti.

      And there would still be the problem of teaching you to fish.

      If that’s too deep, ask a friend, or depending on, well….you can Google it.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.20   infant tyrone bang

      As for further thoughts on yaoi…

      http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/She-Bop-lyrics-Cyndi-Lauper/EA43B746CA20B6F8482568C700396E7D

      for explanation try

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/She_Bop

      Oct 20, 2009 at 11:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Susannie

    This isn’t a room mate PAN, it’s a disguised love letter! The hippie-ish girl is saying, in her own way, that she missed Brett – aka the slob. I think Brett SHOULD go through her bedroom, so to speak ;)

    Brett – you won’t be grad student forever! Some day you’ll need a woman who likes to recycle and likes you cat!

    Oct 19, 2009 at 8:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   FredGarvin

    Grad students with cats are assholes. Think of all the grad students you’ve known who own cats. I rest my case.

    That is all.

    Oct 20, 2009 at 11:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   pony girl bang

      Well, to be fair to the cats, most grad students are at least halfway to asshole already.

      Oct 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Patrick

    Holy Shit! This is me and my housemate right here but I was a major dick to him considering he was a racist, homophobic, republican and it didn’t help when his 3 HOUSEMATES were in fact gay, half black, and democrat. I have so many notes I can post on here from him!

    Dec 12, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   Canthz_B bang

      Top or bottom half? Left or right half? Front or back half?
      Maybe there’s also something else in there and your roommate was actually Neapolitan? 8-O

      Dec 12, 2009 at 8:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.2   Geek Goddess

      If he was both gay and homophobic, I would guess bottom

      Dec 12, 2009 at 8:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
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