Brett in Raleigh, North Carolina had to move out at the end of last semester after his lease ran out, and while he didn’t want to have to resort to a finding a random Craigslist roommate, that ended up being the case.
Brett’s mea culpa: “Being a grad student, I am not home much and have responsibilities to take care of on campus, but obviously some of my other responsibilities were being overlooked at home.” (Lucia, by the way, is the name of his cat.)
related: i can hear everything
extra credit: “i’m not here to make friends” reality show mashup [youtube]


215 responses so far ↓
#1
Packbacker94
Go Wolfpack!
And you may be busy, but you do need to keep your promises Brett.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:19 pm rating: 24
#2
PkG
Is “b/c” cretinese for “because”? Yeah, “because” must take hours to write. I’ve written it twice now and I feel I’ve wasted an evening.
Christ, there are some dumb cunts around.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:31 pm rating: 1
#3
Rick Rottman
I like to read too, but only stories that involve people who watch cable TV.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm rating: 33
#4
leftfoot
Brett sounds like a douche.
Take care of your own friggin cat. Jeeez.
It’s one thing to never be home (which is probably mostly a blessing for his room mate), but if I have to clean up a cat box that belongs to a cat that I never wanted in the first place, there’s going to be cat poop in someone’s bed. (hint: not mine.)
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm rating: 65
#5
Mpfff
Not really feeling any sympathy for Brett. Seems like the note was justified, especially if he’s never home often enough to give his roommate a chance to speak with him in person.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm rating: 32
#6
kdaniel
I don’t hang folks, regardless of their promise keeping abilities, but apparently lynching roommates is fine and dandy for this roommate.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:38 pm rating: 12
#7
Kyle
Yeah, they’re not as fun to read when you understand what the note-writer is saying. Brett sounds like a douche.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 17
#8
hm
trying to figure out why the roomie just didnt adjust the AC….
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm rating: 24
#9
Bubblah
My AC stays at 75 degrees. Anything below that any my nipples keep erect all night, deterring me from a warm nippled sleep.
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm rating: 20
#10
The Grammarphile
…And you know what else, Brett? Not only am I not interested in being “friends” with you, but you’re not even worth finding a “new piece of paper” to write this note on. So here, have some “trash,” which you can line Lucia’s litter box with IF you ever get around to cleaning it out…
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:50 pm rating: 23
#11
emilou
umm.. wish i had saved my notes from my last roomate.. they were priceless, but they usually got wadded up into a little ball and thrown in the trash the second i got done reading them. example: Em: when you cook (which I never do because it makes a mess), it would be great if you sprayed 409 on the wall behind the range because you get grease on it. Before you moved in, that wall never got any grease on it. And your boyfriend is not allowed to put beer in our refrigerator, so he will need to bring his own cooler when he wants to bring alcoholic beverages over..”
Oct 16, 2009 at 12:52 pm rating: 8
#12
Sho
I wish I could write a note like that sometimes, but I fear it would end up on here.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:05 pm rating: 3
#13
adam
Why brett sucks-Who names their cat lucia?
Why the roommate sucks-Everyone knows the whole point of having A/C on when you sleep is to put it on the coldest possible setting and doubling or tripling up on the blankets.
I would have been way too cool for both of these guys.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:05 pm rating: 14
#14
Julia
I don’t know what people have against Craigslist roommates. Yeah, there are weirdos on there, but they are easy to suss out. I found amazing roommates on Craigslist, and met several others that would have made great roommates as well. Thanks, Craigslist!
As for the note, wow, if I were Brett, I never would have sent this in. This only makes him look bad.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: 5
#15
epic
i have had experience with a roommate who didn’t clean up after her pet, and it freaking sucked. brett, get your act together!
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm rating: 10
#16
Goldie
If my roommate was never at home, OMG I’d lick his cat’s ass clean and turn my lingerie into vacuum filters for him! It’s like having the whole place to yourself while only paying for half.
I’d say it’s time for Brett to clean up, make the key, move the futon, and throw a huge party for all his friends and friends of friends. Repeat every week till the roommate realizes how good she had it.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm rating: 52
#17
aaa
Am I the only one hoping Brett will comment here and try to defend himself?
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:26 pm rating: 20
#18
Woman on the Verge
So, the cat is Lucia and the roommate is Yeah? No wonder Brett is confused.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:26 pm rating: 11
#19
aaa
This is just Brett’s practice for marriage. He’s just doing research to see what he can get away with not doing and which claims of DOING IMPORTANT SHIT ELSEWHERE will work once he has a permanent roommate.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm rating: 34
#20
Havingfitz
Dear Brett:
I’m sorry, but it’s over. I’ve tried and I’ve tried but you just don’t get it. I’m tired of the broken promises, the lies, and the mysterious piles in my litter box that I KNOW I didn’t make. I’m leaving you, and I’m taking Yeah with me. I hope your busy life keeps you warm at night, Brett. A part of me will always love you, but I just can’t live like this.
-Lucia
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:31 pm rating: 26
#21
TP
Team green marker writing utensil – I wouldn’t want to clean up after someone’s cat or do all the chores in the apartment, either. I wouldn’t even mind the chores as much as cat poop … ew. Brett sounds like the type of man that needs to be trained someday.
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:35 pm rating: 6
#22
Stephen
“I’d rather read then watch TV”
Oct 16, 2009 at 1:59 pm rating: 4
#23
cody
she sounds hella annoying if i were brett i’d be like bitch please
Oct 16, 2009 at 2:02 pm rating: 0
#24
Duncan
Who says ‘Lucia’ is the name of the cat? Brett? But we all seem to think he’s a douchebag, don’t we? So why believe him.
I say Lucia is actually Brett’s autistic sister who keeps pulling out the elastic from her socks and leaving it around the apartment.
In other news; if Brett is away most of the time why can’t Yeah just set the a/c however he likes it? Does he not know how? Does Brett reset it every time he comes home? Clearly that’s impossible for, as we’ve already established, Brett is too lazy to clean up after his cat/autistic sister. Has to be Lucia again. What kind of name is Lucia anyway? It’s a name with another vowel added. ‘Yeah’ is a much better name.
Oct 16, 2009 at 2:05 pm rating: 14
#25
Chandie
Team Yeah.
Being a grad student is no excuse for not taking care of your pet.
Oct 16, 2009 at 2:53 pm rating: 14
#26
Geek Goddess
Before the correction was added, it said cleaning up Lucia. I think somebody needs to go in there and check on Lucia right away, although I am guessing that it will be too little, too late. Poor Lucia, victim of escalating room mate angst.
Oct 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm rating: 6
#27
Critical Grass
Brett is definitely a douchecanoe.
To be lazy enough not to do your chores around the apartment is one thing, but not taking care of your own pet is just cruel.
Lucia is the real victim here.
Oct 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm rating: 24
#28
ashley
wow. I think it’s about time for a new roommate.
Oct 16, 2009 at 4:33 pm rating: 0
#29
mamason
First of all, I have to disagree. It is cool indeed to have the A/C on at 65 degrees at night. Very cool. In fact, cuddle up with your bestest Snuggie cool.
Secondly, what exactly is taking “it on the wolfline”? Is that some new sex thing you young kids are doing these days?
Oct 16, 2009 at 5:41 pm rating: 0
#30
Nuvo
oh shut it.
what’s up with this commenty names? There is a comment box for that specific purposes.
Oct 16, 2009 at 5:51 pm rating: 2
#31
Neeners
Need more cheese with this whine
Oct 16, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: 3
#32
Anonymous
I love how these types of notes are sent in by the people who are NOT taking responsibility for their actions. Very mature.
Oct 16, 2009 at 6:26 pm rating: 2
#33
Seanette
Roommate PANs always make me more grateful I’ve never had to deal with living with someone I wasn’t related to. Yeah, family can be a pain, but sounds like unrelated roomies are a LOT worse.
Oct 16, 2009 at 6:45 pm rating: 1
#34
snatchbeast
Brett’s an ass for not taking care of his cat.
I hated my roommates.
Oct 16, 2009 at 7:40 pm rating: 5
#35
pony girl
I don’t know what kind of weird-ass thermostat these guys have, but on my thermostat, 65 is below 70.
Oct 16, 2009 at 7:46 pm rating: 4
#36
Me
Team not-Brett! I would be pissed if I had to clean up after someone else’s pet, too.
Oct 16, 2009 at 10:36 pm rating: 3
#37
Stream of bat's piss
Hands up if you think that Brett put the wood to the writer of this note, and then dumped her.
She’s pissed because she got loaded and did a back nine job with Brett.
Bwahahahahhahahahahaha
Oct 16, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: 0
#38
Anna
I’m on Brett’s side. Roommate is a whiner. If you’re never home, you’re just not going to end up having time for petty shit. It’s the way it is. If you’re home enough that you have time to get worked up enough to have to write a note about petty shit, maybe you’re going to end up doing a little more around the house. ‘Cause when you’re the only one home, that makes you the only one who needs cleaning up after.
Oct 17, 2009 at 1:08 am rating: 0
#39
Vashti
Dude, it’s North Carolina.
There is a long history of hanging folks for a lot less than not keeping their promises.
GO FOR IT!!
Oct 17, 2009 at 1:44 am rating: 2
#40
bowloftoast
Seeing as Brett submitted this note, I think this is his catharsis. He’s obviously familiar with PAN, and he had to know he was going to get it when this got posted, and, he’s no doubt monitoring the comments…Hi Brett.
I think Brett has genuine remorse about being a bad roommate – so much so that he’s left himself open to being called a douche 20 or so times, and he’s out there, quietly taking his lumps like a man.
The mea culpa is ackowledged, but it takes genuine stones to put yourself in the line of fire for the sake of absolution.
Brett, Karma is the business of the Universe and the Universe alone, but you’ve got my vote for taking the steps to clear things up, own it, and settle your Karmic debt.
Team Brett.
Oct 17, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: 16
#41
Itsme
Brett’s a moron. The roomate isn’t much better….who puts up with crap like that? I would’ve called the pound for the cat and kicked out the jerk.
Oct 17, 2009 at 3:14 am rating: 0
#42
In Brett's defense...
I’m the person who begged Brett to post his note because I thought it was funny. He feels really bad that his roomie felt bad, and didn’t want to defend himself, but I’ll fill in a couple of details…
(1) “Yeah” is female. She’s sort of hippie-ish; Brett didn’t have a clue she was at all upset because she’s really laid back.
(2) Roomie also has a cat. Both Brett and Yeah have litter boxes in their bathrooms. Ends up that both cats prefer to use the litter box in Yeah’s bathroom. That’s not really his fault. Can’t really control things like that. Brett does clean the litter box in his own bathroom, but it would be kinda weird if he went through her bedroom to get to her bathroom to clean her litter box. In my opinion, this is a little whiny.
(3) When Brett moved in, he asked Yeah if he could turn the A/C up (or is it down?) at night. She didn’t have a problem with it, and never said a word to him about it for months…until this note.
(4) Regarding the “promises” to buy a vacuum filter, make a spare key, or move the futon: Brett never really promised to do any of those things. He said, “I should make a spare key,” and “I should move the futon.” It’s really his business if he wants to move his own furniture into a common space. The fact that he hadn’t made a spare key to leave at his girlfriend’s house doesn’t affect Yeah at all, so I’m not sure why she’s upset about that. Again, Yeah never mentioned any of these things for months, and apparently had been stewing about them that whole time.
(5) The recycling. Yep, Brett should have done that. He knows it.
So…Brett is not the perfect roommate, but Yeah could have said something rather than go on a rant like this.
Oct 17, 2009 at 5:57 am rating: 12
#43
bellytimber
ok yeah Yeah made some reasonable-sounding points, but it was all pretty piddly stuff that she should have mentioned to Brett long ago. When this weird note is the first time Brett has heard about these issues, then what do oui know Yeah knows? Making it about “his word” and his honor is melodramatic. The goofy rant on Brett wanting some utopia without responsibilities is silly and patronizing. And putting “cool” in pun quotes in the first sentence? Yeah whatever.
Oct 17, 2009 at 5:39 pm rating: 4
#44
Jermaine
That wouldn’t be Bret of the “Tough Bret’s” would it? Oh wait I see spelled with two t’s. Pity.
Oct 18, 2009 at 12:34 am rating: 0
#45
infant tyrone
Haiku for rose, rilla, glo, oi, aaa, wade
Green ink on the note
Green inks on the main thread, two
Recycling pays
Oct 18, 2009 at 5:33 am rating: 5
#46
Susannie
This isn’t a room mate PAN, it’s a disguised love letter! The hippie-ish girl is saying, in her own way, that she missed Brett – aka the slob. I think Brett SHOULD go through her bedroom, so to speak
Brett – you won’t be grad student forever! Some day you’ll need a woman who likes to recycle and likes you cat!
Oct 19, 2009 at 8:00 am rating: 0
#47
FredGarvin
Grad students with cats are assholes. Think of all the grad students you’ve known who own cats. I rest my case.
That is all.
Oct 20, 2009 at 11:02 am rating: 1
#48
Patrick
Holy Shit! This is me and my housemate right here but I was a major dick to him considering he was a racist, homophobic, republican and it didn’t help when his 3 HOUSEMATES were in fact gay, half black, and democrat. I have so many notes I can post on here from him!
Dec 12, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: 0
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