Thanks…I guess?

October 22nd, 2009 · 176 comments

writes our anonymous submitter in Cleveland: “My roommate Mike is usually a generous guy, but he’s very possessive of his coffee, beef jerky, and other certain food indulgences. This note was sort of touching; he didn’t want to share, made that clear, but then decided he probably should — not for me though, but for his waistline.  What a sweetheart!”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: Thanks...I guess?

related: you’re not wrong, walter

FILED UNDER: Cleveland · food · sharing is caring


176 responses so far ↓

  • #1   leftfoot

    ooooh Snowman guilt.. Time to start your shopping.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   park rose bang

      Or your tripping.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mo® bang

      “I’ve got an industrial strength hair dryer don’t make me use it snow boy! Just hand over the chocolate donuts.”

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:39 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   spottedbuddy bang

      Holster your weapon there, Mo®; this one ain’t worth it. The fact there’s 10, not 12 doughnuts indicates factory-made processed, not bakery fresh. Which is probably the real reason he was willing to share.

      Save that thing for when he brings home the good stuff, then let ‘im have it with both barrels.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 2:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   f.crustacea

    awww the little snowmen make it so worth it, it’s the sugar that makes the backhanded generosity go down!

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    The holiday season always brings out the best in Mike…I guess.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      ♫ He knows when you are sleeping, He knows when your awake. He know when you share your donuts…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   spottedbuddy bang

      And he thinks, “What are you doing, you stupid douchebag, you were supposed to set those doughnuts out for me! I’m not leaving you diddly squat this year, you ungrateful prick!”

      Oct 24, 2009 at 2:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   MrMurakami bang

    On the first day of Christmas, my roommate gave to me. . . . a note written under the assumption that I simply must have one of his chocolate confections!

    . . . and the impression that he believes 9 donuts are significantly healthier than 10.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:31 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   JetJackson

      Damn hey… and so now you have to put up with another 11 days of passive aggressive notes.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      MrMurakami , I thumbed your comment, even though it doesn’t fit the song.
      In order to get an “…and the impression…”, it would have to have been the second day of Christmas, in which case you’d have to have gotten two of something.

      1st day: a partridge in a pear tree.
      2nd day: two turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree.

      Doesn’t fit, but I liked the concept! :-)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 6:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Act

      Did you really just… review a comment and offer suggestions? AND miss the point of it (the meter wasn’t supposed to be in line with the song)?

      You did? Okay, cool. Just checking.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 9:19 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   infant tyrone bang

      CB, I’m really happy for you, and I’ma thumb you etc… but…

      You overlooked the second part of Murakami-san’s masterpiece, so allow me to proffer this modest translation into Latin:

      Morituri te salutamus

      which was the motto of the Roman Weight Watchers chapter…

      We who are about to diet, salute you !

      Ciao Bella

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Canthz_B bang

      I didn’t comment about the meter, didn’t miss the point (liked it in fact) and pointing out how the song works is not offering suggestions.

      Okay, cool. Just pointing that out.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Neeners

      When someone says they are going to “thumb” you it sounds so cheap and nastaaay. Especially when it’s “I’ma thumb you”. Does one say thank you when they get thumbed?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Well the thumbs up will hold an extra donut.. just sayin’.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:34 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   infant tyrone bang

      @Neeners’#4.6

      My Deah Ms. Neeners,

      Per Miss Manners, the etiquette guidelines for saying “Thank You” after you’re thumbed {or ‘as’ you’re thumbed, if you live in the industrialized world AND [or as the putatively nongrammatical but otherwise technical CB might say, "IFF"] you have high speed Internet} is SOLELY based on the answer to the question “How did it make you feel?”.

      Now nobody knows how much Miss Manners enjoys the “bracketing process” (or the thumbing process…yessireee she does!) as much as I do (or as much she does…and, believe you me, she is me as you are he and I forgot to mention the walrus fetish, but we’ll forget that until we get to Alabama where the Tuscaloosa) but that’s something that’s gonna stay “in place” between me and Miss Manners…so we’re really at the point where the really (well, the only) important question is, as the song in the stage adaptation of “Illuminatus!” asked, “How does it feel when I do *this*?”

      Yowah humble correspondent,
      Generalissimo Francisco (“Fingers”) Franco

      Oct 23, 2009 at 6:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   JetJackson

      Oh Infant Tyrone… in the immortal words of Run DMC…

      “You talk too much!”

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzSMvFP6mdg

      Oct 23, 2009 at 7:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   infant tyrone bang

      JJ….

      Sorry (really, snark-free) it bothers you enough to take the time to dig up a YT clip. But not sorry enough to stop having fun here.

      Check with GK about which brand of scrolling mouse he bought, because it seems to be working for him and it may make life easier for you, too.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.11   anglophile

      Neeners, I’m confused. You say cheap and nastaaay like it’s a bad thing.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.12   Neeners

      Well I guess I don’t know any other way either. I’m just sayin’, getting thumbed sounds so,…. well intimate.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 1:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.13   park rose

      It’s a thumbscrew, I guess, which is a simple vice, according to wikipedia.
      Kinda covers neeners and ‘glo’s points of view.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.14   GK bang

      Dealing with infant tyrone takes me way back. I remember when I used to think my opinions were interesting to others as well.

      Pro Tip Time! Getting butthurt because Internet folk have gotten tired of your posting tenacity is like blood to a pool of sharks. Snarky sharks with green comments on their heads.

      You must bring the funny, or else you must wear the unitard. I’m just trying to help you out here!

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   zenvelo

    of course it’s all different if they’re powdered instead of chocolate.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Meesh

      Of course! Because “powdered donut” is code for “eight ball,” and Mike (AKA The Snowman) doesn’t share his stash with anyone. That’s how he stays so upbeat and skinny.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   infant tyrone bang

      Well somebody’s been dipping into Mike’s stash…

      Check out the arms on those snowmen !!

      If they were any more jazzed-up you’d have to say they were Downbeat…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Neeners

      If they are doing eight balls, I bet Mike doesn’t have any teeth to eat the donuts with anway, so he will definitely have to share his coffee too so they can be gummed.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Now I have a whole new view of Frosty the “Snow”man..

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Metah-4 Genome

      @Meesh #5.1
      LMAO!!! That was hilarious!

      May 20, 2010 at 5:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   CK

    What a sweetheart.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   pony girl bang

      Better than what my mom used to do.
      She’d buy a bunch of gourmet cookies or donuts or whatever, and forbid anyone from having any.
      Then about 4 or 5 days later, when the few that were left were all stale, she’d offer them up.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Canthz_B bang

      Mine did the same thing with her Katydids.
      We’d eat them from the bottom tiers of the can.
      Took her days to find out they’d been poached!
      I won’t even go into how possessive she was over her Archway Apple-Oatmeal cookies!!
      My brother was caught getting into those one day, so I can say that I’ve witnessed child abuse firsthand!

      He’s a firefighter now. Rushes into burning buildings. Guess nothing can scare him after that cookie beating.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:04 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   park rose bang

      That’s good enough for me.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Critical Grass bang

      Wow… Cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Snayl bang

      CB… You stole your mother’s poached crickets?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Neeners

      I don’t mind sharing but I do mind if I don’t even get one of the thing I bought.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Canthz_B bang

      Snayl, of course not. We poached them after stealing them! :-P

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   infant tyrone bang

      PG…

      You poor mistreated kid, you.
      I can’t imagine what you went through, as my Mom was different, leastways on the cookie/treat thing…

      I’m coming to your town in about 10 days or so…if there’s anything I can bring you from Costa Rica that would help in the least little way, mention it here if it’s appropriate…otherwise, just squint real hard-like and send it out into the aether ‘n’ maybe I’ll pick up the transmission somehow…

      same gravatar…new persona…Bronco, ‘magine that!?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   girl friday

    eat only one. If you eat more than that my waist will be too small.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:35 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      No one can eat just one…

      Oct 24, 2009 at 12:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   ArfArf

    One donut? So generous. I suppose eating 9 donuts is okay, then.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Neeners

      It’s the American way.

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      In fact, donut consumption is a required course at most police academies.
      I think they take it right after the course on how to execute the BBQ pit maneuver.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      And right before the course on Miranda – Rights or Wrongs?

      Oct 24, 2009 at 2:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   infant tyrone bang

      Whatever happened to Torte Reform, anyway ?

      Oct 24, 2009 at 3:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   GK bang

      At police academies? Make me your president and I will guarantee free junk food consumption courses for every child!

      You may be the fattest nation on Earth currently, but you can’t expect to keep up that level of excellence without dedication, effort, and the three Ps: practice, practice, practice.

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   MrMurakami bang

    Those snowmen appear to be rejoicing for Mike’s magnanimous act, as well. Then again, it could be because it’s snowing.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      I can’t imagine rejoicing if body parts were falling from the skies.
      But then, I suppose those awaiting the Rapture would get some kick out of that.

      Oct 22, 2009 at 9:46 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   bcteagirl

      Its raining snow…. men! Hallelujah it’s raining snow men!

      Oct 22, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    I notice Mike didn’t throw in one cup of his personal premium blend coffee to go with the one donut he so generously sort of offered.

    Baby steps, Mike. You wouldn’t want to strain anything.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   GK bang

      Like your roommates’ sense of disbelief, for example.

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Flaboy2425

    Just for that, Mike, you can have a slice of my Navy style dried apricot pie, just a little slice though.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   bcteagirl

    If roomie ate more than one they could just blame those plump looking snowmen :P

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   aaa bang

    Translation:

    I know writing “DON’T TOUCH!” makes me look like a total douchebag, so I’m going to say it’s okay (enough) for you to eat my food. But seriously, don’t eat my food. I’ll knock your teeth out.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Neeners

      Mike has essentially ensured that nobody will eat his donuts because the guilt they will experience will not allow the eater to enjoy them. I think Mike is really a Jewish mom from the Bronx.

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:21 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   GK bang

      If Mike thinks he has ensured that, then he has a nasty shock awaiting him. :-P

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Will

    WhatEVER!! Like borderline alcoholic college kids would ever be OK with you stealing their beer.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   park rose

    It’s snowtime, folks!

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Eccentric_Lady bang

    Well, if nine other people read that note, Mike might not have any donuts left. Then that’ll learn him leaving notes like that without having his share first…for y’know friends come over and things like that..

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   infant tyrone bang

      Yes! A new mathematician/logician is here (unless you’re an old-timer that just got back from a trip)!

      Mikey might wanna be a bit more careful.

      Hey, EL, you a Hendrix fan by any chance?
      There’s something about the name…..

      Oct 23, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   park rose

    There’snow business like snow business like snow business I know…

    When you’re on a theme, stick to it like those little white flakes cling to my nose hairs stick on my tongue.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   infant tyrone bang

      rose….

      Pay attention, hon…that was ball four…take your free base!

      “If you’re gonna play a sport…go ahead.” (Carlin, circa ’66)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Silhouette

    It would really be hilarious if Mike stole that notepaper from the roommate.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 11:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Silhouette

    Some people say Mike is frosty, but that’s just a snow job. He’s actually cool. A little flaky, but never precipitous.

    Oct 22, 2009 at 11:11 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks to the flurry of allusions, I was able to plow through and get your drift.

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   anglophile bang

      Aw, Silhouette, you know what happens when you start one of these pun threads. Sure, it’s harmless enough at the beginning, but soon it snowballs out of control, and you get a blizzard of comments full of bad puns.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:32 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   park rose bang

      You trying to white wash things, glo?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Canthz_B bang

      Rose, that’s how she’s held power throughout her icy reign.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   infant tyrone bang

      Y’all…

      If Quinn ever gets here…I’m gone!

      …even if there’s some patuqun left on the mirror…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Neeners

    If they were doughnut ‘holes’ then could we have more than one?

    Oct 22, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   infant tyrone bang

      Only if they were from Krispy Kreme…you know…K-holes…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Neeners

      I love K-holes!

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   infant tyrone bang

      What’s a…a…a…ahh…ooooh….Hi…is that ectoplasm leaking out of your body boundaries or are you just glad to see me?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 6:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Neeners

    What is the correct spelling doughnut or donut?
    Is it like a dialectical thing?

    Oct 22, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yes. :-P

      j/k…my spell-checker prefers donut, if that means anything.

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   marpolejoel

      spell check, meh…on with the donuts! & an extra large double double, please…Even Tim Horton wouldn’t care…

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Geek Goddess

      I try to avoid feeding any sort of tasty pastries to my computer, no matter what my spell-check prefers. I don’t want to set a precedent.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   infant tyrone bang

      It’s dialectical like Marx, marks, and Mark’s…

      But not like a capacitor…even if it’s jelly-filled…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   GK bang

      It’s “doughnut”, on account of how they’re not made out of “do”. :-P

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   Canthz_B bang

      So, what does that say about the “Doughboys”?

      Wait, never mind. I read the comment above about overweight Americans.
      Luckily, they went overseas armed and dangerous.

      Sure, they aren’t made of “do”, but neither are they “nuts”.
      They are shaped like zeroes, so I guess “doughnaughts” would be proper! :lol:

      Oct 26, 2009 at 10:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   tapehead4 bang

    What a cute note for Santa!

    Oct 22, 2009 at 11:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Neeners

    He should’ve wrote ‘Do nut eat my donuts’

    Oct 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Canthz_B bang

      He should have written “Do eat my nuts.”

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Neeners

      Hey is it wrote or written? Oh my, I’m getting too technical. I love donuts with nuts! Is that redundant?

      Oct 22, 2009 at 11:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Canthz_B bang

      I’m not a grammarian, as I seem to say more often than I’d care to here, but it’s “He wrote”, “He should have written.”

      I think.

      Now, watch some egghead come in and explain the technical whys and wherefores as if anyone really cares. :roll:

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   tamago-chan

      You really wanna know? Egghead reporting for service, presently and perfectly. Technically CB is correct. But the meaning of both is understood. So, everyone’s happy.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   JetJackson

      Knock-Knock… Eggman!

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Canthz_B bang

      tamago-chan, nice try, but I said egghead.
      The true Grammar Nazi wouldn’t be happy at all. He would have a burning need to explain why, grammatically, I’m correct. A need deeply rooted in the desire to prove that being an English major was a good choice…no matter how useless it has proven in his current profession.
      Be careful walking near the true Grammar Nazi. The frustrated teacher angst in him oozes out leaving slippery puddles in his wake.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:44 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   marpolejoel

      Goddarnit CB, you use your words prettier than a CA$20 whore…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe, but I have more balls. ;-)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   tamago-chan

      you callin’ me an asshat, CB? Well, if the hat fits, wear it. :cry:

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   park rose

      Shit, forgot to change my name. Guess I truly am an asshat, or an egg cup, or a few chardonnays (chardonaies? chardonnay heys) to the wind.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   anglophile bang

      There, there, rose. You’re just a poor descriptionist, what can you do? Come over to the darkside of prescriptivism. We are smug and laugh aside being called an “asshat” because it’s not a word. Silly kids today thinking they can just go and make up words!

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.12   park rose bang

      Are you one of ‘em nazis, ‘glo? I think I might be a prescriptionist… and maybe it’s running out…the grammar goosestep, though, if done by mel brooks, is a sight to behold. What do they say? Egg shell thin ego. JJ will get this: it’s not a dirty word, right?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.13   park rose bang

      PS ‘glo, if I came over to the dark side, I would have to disagree with black market beagle, vehemently… and everyone hates a hypocrite

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.14   Canthz_B bang

      That was you, rose? See? Real teachers don’t have the pent up angst of the wannabe teacher that is the true Grammar Nazi! :-D

      Oct 23, 2009 at 6:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.15   Mo® bang

      coo coo ka choo. I am the Walrus.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.16   park rose

      I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
      That makes me the Walrus, too.
      But actually, I am the egg, man.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.17   oi bang

      I am the snowman.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.18   infant tyrone bang

      ‘s no skin off my nose at all y’all (exhales carefully)

      But then *I* think Mike should have written

      “Eat my naughty nuts…or not…or naught.”
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      article free since 12:32, for-oi-dee-an slip time

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.19   Neeners

      23.12 Rose, if your a prescriptionist can I get some rx therapy? Klonopin today please need a mellow moment.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.20   oi bang

      huh! some comment has reply to thread/add to this thread link and some don’t !! HEISA what’s going on?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.21   infant tyrone bang

      Oi gevalt !

      Is resident golem eating texts ?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 7:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.22   park rose bang

      Hey, CB,
      You changed your comment. Thanks ♥
      I can’t change mine as I wasn’t logged in, and if I did, it would render glo’s comment senseless, and the thread would be hanging, well, by a thread.

      However, let this be a lessons to you folks. If you log in you have edit time to infinity and beyond!

      Oct 23, 2009 at 7:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.23   GK bang

      Canthz_B, I find frustrated teacher angst to be more sticky than slippery. Also, it’s hell to get out of the carpet, and you know that stuff is going to leave a stain.

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Scooby Jenkins

    That donut was fucking delicious.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   marpolejoel

      Scooby, don’t…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   JetJackson

      Scooby? Don’t you mean…

      Rhat ronut was rucking delicious!

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:47 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   park rose

      JJ, my thumb is yours ♥
      rabba rabba roo, or some such

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Mo® bang

      I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:51 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   GK bang

      Like, zoiks, Scoob! You must now wear the Mystery Unitard!

      (the “mystery” part is what all the stains are)

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Adam

    Mmmm. Donuts…..

    Oct 23, 2009 at 2:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Canthz_B bang

      Mmmm, I couldn’t think of anything to say either…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Adam

      When in doubt, always quote The Simpsons.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Canthz_B bang

      …it’s better to remain silent than to speak and remove all doubt. ;-)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   Beanster bang

      doubt that you are silent?
      doubt that you are simpsons?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   Neeners

      “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”
      Robert Benchley quote

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   bowloftoast bang

    I wonder if the snowman with the red scarf has button-envy?

    Oct 23, 2009 at 2:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   park rose

      I don’t think so; he has a certain sang freud about him.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:24 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   infant tyrone bang

      I think he also has a touch of Zukunft-schadenfreude.

      Looks like he’s looking forward to being helpless to help the other two when they bust their buttons…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   GK bang

      Park rose, sometimes a carrot nose is just a carrot nose.

      Oct 26, 2009 at 4:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   RigaToni

    If the roomie takes him up on the offer,I can’t wait for the winter-themed thank you card that says :

    Roomie:
    Please do not eat my donuts again.

    Thank you,
    Mike

    Oddly, Mike has the same attitude about his bbq grill.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 2:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   park rose

      Even Stevens however..

      I’ll let all y’all finish it. I’m fighting to stay sober.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 4:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   infant tyrone bang

      There must be something about that phrase “Any *old* time”…

      Maybe a Grammar Nazi could explain it for us, but I think roughly half of us here would prefer to wait for the Advent of a *cunning linguist*…
      .
      .
      .
      Stolen from the cover of a Richard Lederer book…. Props is proper.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   girl friday

    He should lick all of them but one.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 6:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Canthz_B bang

    There were originally four Magi, but Magi Mike couldn’t bring himself to part with an entire box of donuts and turned back mid-journey.
    He was a sorry sight, sitting amongst the dunes, his chocolate streaked face the image of self-indulgent guilt, when the others finally re-joined his company.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 6:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   park rose

      Frank was incensed, but Myrrh could see the humour in the situation
      (haven’t we been here before? I have a feeling I owe my joke(s) to grim fool reluctant).

      Oct 23, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      So Park Rose brought the gold.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   infant tyrone bang

      rilla….

      No way ’twas rose that brought the gold…

      musta been Al (The Chemist)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Havingfitz

    P.S. I heard you mention you were out of toilet paper. Check the counter; I left you a sheet.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 6:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Pers

    Those donuts look substandard. Canadians know donuts and they don’t look like good donuts. Pass.
    I’ll just munch on this here hockey puck, eh?

    Oct 23, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Beanster bang

      look, as resident canadian here, i only support canadian stereotypes that are blatantly untrue and therefore inscribed as part of our cultural identity.

      Canadians like donuts. Tim Horton is Canada.

      This gets a 65% in Canadian self-reflexive stereotype humour. (note the “u”) You could have upped this to an 85% (very respectable in Canadian educational institutions) by drawing a connection between the donuts and the snow.

      sorry.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Canthz_B bang

      Careful, Beanster, Act is on the lookout for those who “review a comment and offer suggestions”.

      He/she is just checking.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   infant tyrone bang

      Beans…

      At the risk of insulting someone here (or a whole island full of ‘em IRL)…

      65% isn’t too bad at all if that Pers person is a Newfy.

      (2 solid, snow-packed teenage years in Goose Bay when the Summer of Love was happening in San Francisco, NTTAWW Goose Bay…)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   Frankie bang

      Canadians all look the same to me.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.5   knowsadonut

      Those are Entenmann’s donuts! Those are not substandard. I’d take an Entenmann’s over Hostess any day of the week!
      I wish I could see more of the box, I want to know if they’re the Devil’s food ones! Sooooo good.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.6   Frankie bang

      chocolate donuts also all look the same to me.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 3:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.7   Beanster bang

      Frankie, Baby, you sure knew me from the rest of the canadians the other night in my igloo. don’t be saying such hurtful things. i’m very sensitive.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.8   Beanster bang

      ty, part of the canadian charm is that we love being made fun of. we get more insulted for other people than ourselves.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Err

    What a dilemma! If I’m doing him a favor by eating one doughnut, would I’d be doing him a bigger favor by eating two? Or am I doing him a favor by not touching his doughnuts at all?

    So I guess I’d have to go the evil roommate route.
    Eat a bite out of one doughnut, put it back in the box and use the rest for skeet shooting.

    Pull!

    Oct 23, 2009 at 8:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   GhostWriter bang

    Now I’m curious; what is the world record for waxy black chocolate-coated donuts eaten in one sitting?

    Could it possibily be more than four?

    Oct 23, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Bunnee

      Probably, because the waxy chocolate creates an impenetrable film on the roof of your mouth, allowing the donuts to slide down easily. Yeah, the, um, donuts slide down easily. :shock:

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   infant tyrone bang

      And once you go wax…

      Your interest never wanes…

      And powdery white stuff just won’t make you howl at the moon no more…

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Neeners

      I think the honor goes to Rusty Finklestein. The world record for waxy black chocolate-coated donuts eaten in one sitting was held in Heidenfahrt, Germany in 1973 and the total was 134 1/2 donuts. Rusty was fine until the chemicals used to produce the waxy black pseudo chocolate tore him a new K-hole in front of thousands of onlookers. Unfortunately it was not televised.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   infant tyrone bang

      It would have been more tragic, but Rusty Finklestein went on to a career of fame, fortune, and more sex than even a guy who could transfer that basic drive’s energy into consuming 134.5 donuts could handle when he joined the Jim Rose Circus.

      A-a-and Neeners, *was held* ?? Not a big eating-records follower myself…did someone go on to eventually surpass that record…or did the organizing group decide (and based on the new K-hole aspect, who could even begin to question their decision?) to close that competition down?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 8:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   Neeners

      The world championships were discontinued because it was deemed by the officials and several doctors that the toxic aspect of the chocolate, and in consuming that many in one sitting, could kill a man. Therefore, although Rusty shat himself uncontrollably for nearly two hours, he still remains the undisputed mini donut champion in the pseudo chocolate category. Some say that it was out of sheer pity he was given the title because of the unprecedented humiliation he went through. There are some underground competitions I hear tell (Donut Clubs) but of course there can only be one official champ and that is Rusty.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   Erin

    You should have saved this for a “Spirit of Christmas” type post! It would have been perfect for the holidays!

    Oct 23, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Beanster bang

      it’s after Canadian Thanksgiving, so it’s Christmas time.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   kibrenner

    Don’t those donuts come in boxes of 12? Well, I guess 2 dounts are better for you than a dozen.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   GhostWriter bang

    There’s only one left in the box.

    Mike already ate the first nine (or eleven, as the case may be.)

    Oct 23, 2009 at 10:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Critical Grass bang

    Bad, bad server. No donut for you!

    Well… Maybe just one…

    Oct 23, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   oi bang

      are you on orkut CG?

      Oct 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Critical Grass bang

      Yes. I’m on orkut.
      Facebook is not so popular around here. ;)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.3   oi bang

      “here” as in where?
      me too.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 5:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.4   Critical Grass bang

      Here as in Brazil.
      Ok, feel free to add me on Orkut, then. ;)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   oi bang

    shit! I am craving a donut now. Not good. Craving won’t let me die and guilt after eating one won’t let me live. ugh I m in no man’s land.
    Damn you! you spawn of evil damn you!

    Oct 23, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Critical Grass bang

      I completely understand you, oi. Except for the guilt part. I don’t feel that, like… AT ALL.

      Ok, going out to buy donuts. BRB.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 11:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   oi

      you gotta be kidding me,CG. Donut = guilt no no. donut >>> guilt. too much sugar , too much fat and eggs. I try not to eat eggs. spawns of evil indeed.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   Critical Grass bang

      Oi, honey… You gotta stop seeing food as spawns of evil. It’s just food, ok? Now calm down… Here, have some chocolat chip cookies and milk.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   farcical aquatic ceremony

    I’ll be the lone voice on Team Mike–since the submitter writes that Mike is “usually a generous guy”, the way I read this, Mike is aware that he has a little problem letting go of his jerky (*snicker*) but is working on it, thus the joke at his own expense, the happy notepaper, and the willingness to part with one donut (as opposed to not sharing at all). I think the idea that someone’s a douche because they don’t want to share EVERYTHING they buy with their roommates is b.s., especially when you’re talking about cash-strapped young folks. For all we know, the submitter is one of those jerkwad roommates whose contributions to the food stores consist of tree bark cereal and plain yogurt and piously refuses to buy snack foods only to turn around and scarf them down as soon as the purchasers of said snack foods turn their backs.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 1:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Neeners

      Sounds like your a survivor.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   aaa bang

      It’s not the fact that Mike doesn’t want to share all of his food that makes him a douchebag, it’s the tone he wrote the note in. (“I guess you can eat this, if you really want to. It’s so not an inconvenience to me or anything. Really.”)

      P.S.

      Have a defined section for communal food and declare everything else off-limits. It’s what my roommates (The good ones! Not my douchey ex-roomies I talk [bitch] about sometimes.) and I did last year. It’s really not that hard. (And I’m even one of those people who gets pissed off when people eat their food.)

      Oct 23, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Ryan

    Just saw a Scientology advertisement while reading this post. Seriously.

    I guess the “beef jerky” keywords bring in the Xenu crowd.

    Oct 23, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   aaa bang

      I got an ad for a furry convention once. Yeah.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 3:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   bowloftoast bang

      ABP for Firefox is about to change your life.

      Oct 24, 2009 at 3:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   aaa bang

      Pssh, I use NoScript now. Because Firefox really is safer with NoScript. (Or so they keep saying.)

      Oct 24, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Jenna Patrick

    “so I guess you can have one”

    Have one box?

    Oct 24, 2009 at 6:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Sophia

    Haven’t read all comments but that looks like an Entenmann’s box (sorry if it’s been mentioned) but dude can have every single one. I think I am the only one who finds Entenmann’s donuts really gross. The taste left in your mouth is like pure canola oil. *shudders*

    Opps now i found the comment and could not disagree more. yuck!

    Oct 24, 2009 at 4:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Bellabeastie

    Wow–back after a long time missing. New peeps and old. (P.S. donuts in general gross me out, so that note would be viewed as an insult anyway. Leave me a lobster bisque and I will kiss your feet!)

    Oct 25, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Amanda

    Mike is totally right… Eating 9 chocolate donuts is SO much better for you.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Cookie

    I dunno… I’m not good at sharing food either.
    I like how he decided to share AS he was writing the note, though. Funneh!

    Oct 26, 2009 at 6:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   the half-donut bandit

    [...] approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. i’d also be interested to see his advice for mike in cleveland, who seems to have a similar delusion about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of [...]

    Oct 28, 2009 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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