With morale at many companies coasting towards all-time lows, those peppy human resources specialists keep coming up with new budget-conscious ways to keep us worker bees happily humming along. To wit: “Popcorn Thursday.” Sounds like a total blast, right?
Meanwhile, an anonymous post-it writer in Denver speaks up for how employees really feel about these “morale boosters.”
related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands
136 responses so far ↓
#1
sandra
“You will need to make it yourself”??? Wow. Lame.
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:17 pm rating: 43
#2
hellocello
“Popcorn Thursday” is not nearly as exciting but much cleaner than Raw Egg Tuesday
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:19 pm rating: 59
#3
oi
ooh popcorn!! and I get to make it too?
How morale boosting is that? Now on I will work my ass of instead of going to passiveaggressivenotes.com
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm rating: 33
#4
Kelly
Also, employees will need to provide their own popcorn. And we will be withholding five dollars from your next paycheck towards your share of the cost of renting the popcorn machine.
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm rating: 117
#5
MrMurakami
The automatic locks are set for 4:35.
The room will be vacuum-sealed.
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:38 pm rating: 47
#6
M®
They got it from the dollar store so the package really says “PoopCorn©” . They overlooked the label in the rush to increase morale and as a result increased the productivity of those “big jobs”. Bravo HR!
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:42 pm rating: 17
#7
zenvelo
Please make sure your vents are open, so the popcorn smell spreads evenly throughout the office.
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:43 pm rating: 15
#8
SB
Ugh. What a depressing place to work. I hope their HR folks get wind of their FABULOUS morale-boosting activity appearing on this site.
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: 14
#9
Silhouette
Next Monday is dry erase day. Employees may come between 10:07 and 10:17, ON THEIR BREAKS, to the 3rd floor conference room assuming that no meeting is schedule. If a meeting is scheduled, please use the dry erase board leaning against the back wall in the store room. Do NOT disturb any thing in the store room, please. Thanks.
You may doodle all you want. Each employee is allotted a 3 inch square on the big white board for full expression and may use up to two different colors. Please see Casey for a list of words or drawings not allowed by company policy ON YOUR BREAK.
Wipes and cleaner are provided for your use, and would you run the vacuum while you are in there, too? Thanks.
Enjoy!
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: 117
#10
Canthz_B
That popcorn sounds too much like work to do during my break.
We had freaking candy apple day today. Here I am trying to work and I keep getting interrupted by managers asking if I’ve gotten my damned apple.
Why is it sometimes so hard to let fly the words: “Leave me the fuck alone, asshole!”?
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:51 pm rating: 21
#11
Canthz_B
“You will need to make the popcorn yourself.”?
That’s one long break, but it just goes to show you that some jobs really are just about as exciting as watching corn grow.
Oct 26, 2009 at 9:57 pm rating: 6
#12
JetJackson
Didn’t that book win a Pulitzer?
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: 2
#13
aaa
We were cheap before
Now we have a good excuse
Fuck you employees
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:09 pm rating: 14
#14
Critical Grass
Here’s the first draft of that email:
Water day
Please come to the 3rd floor, next to the bubbler, 2:00 PM during your break (and don’t you dare come here before your own break or on someone else’s break!) and enjoy some water.
You’ll need to get the water yourself.
Please make sure you don’t leave the water fountain running when you have finished using it. Please DO NOT leave it running. Remember: Your mother doesn’t work here.
Let’s keep the area clean. A mop and bucket are provided to assist in cleaning up.
I figure all ya’ll know how a bubbler works.
We’ll stop providing paper cups at 4:30 PM, no negotiation.
Please consult with your supervisor or manager if you have any questions.
Water is life! Enjoy!
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:16 pm rating: 31
#15
Thanks!
I love how “on your break” is underlined! Popcorn Thursday sounds like it sucks ass! Corporate assholes can’t unpucker their butt for two and half hours!
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:17 pm rating: 8
#16
JetJackson
Publisher: “But Bob 1000 just isn’t enough ideas. As per the brief we need 1001. It looks better. People like symmetry in a title.”
Bob: “I just don’t think I have another one in me.”
Publisher: “Oh, don’t worry it doesn’t have to be a particularly good idea. Any shit will do.”
Bob: “Ahh in that case I think I have something”
Idea # 1001: Hire a popcorn machine for the lunch room.
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:27 pm rating: 55
#17
aaa
I feel like pissing in the popcorn machine.
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: 5
#18
Palomon
Where there is no morale there are no morale problems.
Oct 26, 2009 at 10:50 pm rating: 20
#19
MAMARILLA2
They will recieve enthusiasm from me the day they announce “Tequila Shot Tuesday”. Only then will I willingly give up a smoke break to ‘enjoy’ the company of my fellow cube-rats.
Oct 26, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: 37
#20
Adam
First one: I feel like someone should step and a host the event. Could turn into a nice time, The Office style.
Second one: Seems a little crass, to me.
Oct 26, 2009 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
#21
phd in yogurtry
Ooh boy! Make it yourself AND clean up afterward? Wow. Don’t everybody rush to the break room at once.
Oct 26, 2009 at 11:27 pm rating: 14
#22
Canthz_B
Being job sponsored takes the fun out of everything…unless they inadvertently do something stupid.
My job sponsored a walk-a-thon to “draw attention to autism.”
I couldn’t help thinking that the autism sufferers wouldn’t pay it much attention!
Oct 26, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: 12
#23
Canthz_B
Notice that the title of that book isn’t: “1001 Way$ To Reward Your Employee$”.
Thanks, Boss, but I can print a few dozen spiffy Certificates of Appreciation on my home computer.
We are not impressed.
Oct 26, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 12
#24
cojo
Last year around Thanksgiving my employer asked everyone to submit favorite recipes. At Xmas our Xmas email included a file attachment of recipes with the note that “even in hard economic times” we all like to eat, Merry Christmas. Our Xmas gift was our own recipes! Ho, ho, ho. Honesty, I’d much rather get a note saying that it was a bad year, merry xmas but no gift this year. It would be a lot more honest.
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:08 am rating: 28
#25
Mike
My break time is 1:45-2:00
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:17 am rating: 19
#26
bowloftoast
Unfortunately, things got a little hinky on popcorn day last year. Some idiot went to the third floor while not on break, poured a 6 pound bag of kernels into the machine, ate their fill then left the room without turning off the machine. It took nearly three hours to dig out Lois from Accounting. Poor Lois…so close to retirement.
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:48 am rating: 36
#27
bcteagirl
Your going to raise my what to improve morale??
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: 4
#28
melba
Waitta minute. HR, or whoever sent this “invite”, can’t even be bothered to pop up a batch of popcorn?!
Excuse me while I email my supervisor or manager. I have a question. Do I need to bring my own napkins?
Oct 27, 2009 at 1:06 am rating: 10
#29
Byatch
it’s better than cake and fruit …
Oct 27, 2009 at 6:03 am rating: 2
#30
Havingfitz
Attention:
Will the person who removed the popcorn machine from the 3rd floor break room please return it immediately? We’re a community here. Besides, it wasn’t really a popcorn machine; it was a diamond machine.
Oct 27, 2009 at 7:15 am rating: 27
#31
Andrea
OMG, I totally LOVE this! LOL!
Oct 27, 2009 at 7:29 am rating: 2
#32
Amanda
Oh, I’m SO glad my office isn’t the only one who is like this. Although its depressing that other people must share in this misery, at least I’m not alone.
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:05 am rating: 1
#33
Joe 2
Forget popcorn!
I’m going to the mens room ON MY BREAK with some hand creme and thoughts of Cindy Crawford.
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:07 am rating: 6
#34
GK
That raise was popping cornlicious!
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:09 am rating: 4
#35
jjuice
All yall should just be grateful you get Break Time….
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:11 am rating: 3
#36
deedee
OH NO! I accidentally went to the second floor and nuked my own popcorn in the microwave. I hate that I missed all the fun
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: 28
#37
GK
My response to this situation would be to bring in a bag of popcorn on the Friday and make it at lunch time. Bonus points if the microwave is near HR’s desks (sadly not the case in my office) so they can get a whiff. Then I can submit to http://www.passiveaggressivesmells.com!
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:32 am rating: 6
#38
Mo®
Popcorn Thursdays was more successful than melba toast Mondays.
Oct 27, 2009 at 8:32 am rating: 8
#39
T.U.M.
Each Thursday, the first 100 lucky employees will be given slide whistles. The second 100 will be given brass knuckles, at which point the first 100 cease to be lucky.
Oct 27, 2009 at 11:31 am rating: 24
#40
Neeners
I’ve been boosting my own morale with microwave popcorn at least 2-3 time a week at work. So what about me? I guess I’ve been having more fun than I realized.
Plus I don’t need a broom and dustpan to clean up after myself. If I want to do housework I’ll take a mental health day (aka sick day) and go do laundry and dishes.
Oct 27, 2009 at 11:42 am rating: 5
#41
Michelle S.
Nothing takes me back to the years I spent shackled to a desk at my office job like “Popcorn Thursday”. Does HR ever realize they’re writing the script to the sequel to Office Space?
Oct 27, 2009 at 11:57 am rating: 4
#42
Clumber
Just a few months ago we had our annual “Employee Recognition Day”…. it was a potluck. No, not kidding. They just provided the (free) venue of having it at a local park.
We feel so…. recognized.
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: 12
#43
Neeners
Third floor break room? How many floors and break rooms does this dump have? Is the morale on each floor different? Would say floor five have a more jovial attitude towards life since they have Chocolate Mondays? Is there a penthouse at the top? What is this place?
Newsflash: Popcorn doesn’t equal instant fun and morale. It would have to be more like a carnival atmosphere (without the carnies please). Bring in some clowns and kids throwing up corn dogs on the pony rides. Now we are talking fun!
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:08 pm rating: 3
#44
Gouldfinger
Our christmas party is a huge potluck in the department. All the graduate students tend to bake cookies, make pies, salads, chilis etc… The head of department… brings tortillas chips and dip. In a bag. Just one. And one jar of dip.
And every year all the other faculty members have to press him like a stone to extract a measly $100 for drink.
Oct 27, 2009 at 12:51 pm rating: 6
#45
morale booster
I meant no animadversions against any one, and certainly intended no disrespectful allusions to your mother.
~ Casey in HR.
Oct 27, 2009 at 2:26 pm rating: 2
#46
Neeners
A pox on your Popcorn Day HR and may you all bite into an ‘old maid’ and break a cap.
Why do they call those unpopped kernels old maids, how rude?
Oct 27, 2009 at 5:21 pm rating: 2
#47
ashley
ok, this note and idea is ridiculous, but not all HR people are that bad!!
Oct 27, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: 0
#48
Adriana
Hah, I like the “give raises” post-it. It’s so true. Reminds me of magazine articles titled “100 Ways to Please Your Man.” They always have tips like ‘let him hang out with the boys,’ ‘tell him how much you appreciate him,’ ‘surprise him with a homemade dinner,’ ‘watch the game with him,’ etc., and while I’m sure men would like all those things, every woman knows that there’s one, maybe two, for-sure reliable ways to please a man. Those suggestions are more for the women who don’t want to put out all the time, just like the “morale boosters” are ways for employers to reward employees without having to “put out” too much money.
Oct 30, 2009 at 3:06 pm rating: 0
#49
Woman on the Verge
I sent this to someone who works closely with HR. She helps plan those morale-boosting events. She didn’t think it was funny… apparently this type of thing is all to common. Is it bad that I laughed in her face?
Oct 30, 2009 at 4:00 pm rating: 1
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