You gotta hand it to HR…

October 26th, 2009 · 136 comments

With morale at many companies coasting towards all-time lows, those peppy human resources specialists keep coming up with new budget-conscious ways to keep us worker bees happily humming along. To wit: “Popcorn Thursday.” Sounds like a total blast, right?

you gotta hand it to HR...

Meanwhile, an anonymous post-it writer in Denver speaks up for how employees really feel about these “morale boosters.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: 1 easy way to reward employees

related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

FILED UNDER: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · office · party planning committee


136 responses so far ↓

  • #1   sandra

    “You will need to make it yourself”??? Wow. Lame.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:17 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   bowloftoast bang

      THX SANDRA

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:22 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Canthz_B bang

      Perilously close to unitard territory, BoT. :lol:

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   aaa bang

      Which is why I couldn’t bring myself to do it. D:

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   LB

      If you need help “operating” the “machine”, please see Casey in HR.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 12:23 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   hellocello

    “Popcorn Thursday” is not nearly as exciting but much cleaner than Raw Egg Tuesday

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:19 pm   rating: 59  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   oi bang

    ooh popcorn!! and I get to make it too?
    How morale boosting is that? Now on I will work my ass of instead of going to passiveaggressivenotes.com

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   jean

      oi!
      my company gave us stale pretzels, so i am still wasting time at PAN.
      If only they’d provided make your own popcorn.
      Things would be sooooo different.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Kelly

    Also, employees will need to provide their own popcorn. And we will be withholding five dollars from your next paycheck towards your share of the cost of renting the popcorn machine.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm   rating: 117  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Boomshine

      If you’re one of those hush hush people we pay under the table, please make sure to give your five dollars to Casey in Human Resources!!!!!!!!!!

      THX SANDRA

      Oct 27, 2009 at 5:02 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   MrMurakami bang

    The automatic locks are set for 4:35.

    The room will be vacuum-sealed.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

     
  • #6  

    They got it from the dollar store so the package really says “PoopCorn©” . They overlooked the label in the rush to increase morale and as a result increased the productivity of those “big jobs”. Bravo HR!

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   zenvelo

    Please make sure your vents are open, so the popcorn smell spreads evenly throughout the office.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   harmonicpies

      Fortunately, HR failed to dictate *how* the employees should enjoy the popcorn. Nothing says “high morale” like the smell of scorched popcorn wafting through an entire office building.

      Oct 26, 2009 at 10:37 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   wilkeson

      The best part is when it triggers the fire alarms and causes a building-wide evacuation.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:31 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   farcical aquatic ceremony

      …wilkeson, I think you may unwittingly have stumbled upon what really WOULD be the best part of “Popcorn Thursday”…

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:44 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Neeners

      After the fire alarms go off from the thick plumes of smoke pouring out of the break room, everyone gets sent home. Unfortunately this will only work one time and is not a true morale booster.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Dwight

      Ryan started the fire!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   MissAnthropic

      FIRE GUY!!!!

      Oct 28, 2009 at 1:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   SB

    Ugh. What a depressing place to work. I hope their HR folks get wind of their FABULOUS morale-boosting activity appearing on this site.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Silhouette

    Next Monday is dry erase day. Employees may come between 10:07 and 10:17, ON THEIR BREAKS, to the 3rd floor conference room assuming that no meeting is schedule. If a meeting is scheduled, please use the dry erase board leaning against the back wall in the store room. Do NOT disturb any thing in the store room, please. Thanks.

    You may doodle all you want. Each employee is allotted a 3 inch square on the big white board for full expression and may use up to two different colors. Please see Casey for a list of words or drawings not allowed by company policy ON YOUR BREAK.

    Wipes and cleaner are provided for your use, and would you run the vacuum while you are in there, too? Thanks.

    Enjoy!

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 117  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   JetJackson

      Sweet! I fucking love colouring!

      Oct 26, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Critical Grass bang

      And there will be a lot of penises drawings on that board…

      Oct 26, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   oi bang

      pssst CG, phallus drawings are not allowed on the dry erase board per employee manual.

      Oct 26, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   GK bang

      Not even if they’re squirting?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 4:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Critical Grass bang

      @oi :
      Whaaaaat?!
      What kinda job is this?!
      That’s outrageuous…

      See, one can live without a raise, but not without penises drawings. Thinking about it.. No, you gotta have both.

      @GK:
      Uh! That’s even better!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 7:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   oi bang

      I agree.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    That popcorn sounds too much like work to do during my break.
    We had freaking candy apple day today. Here I am trying to work and I keep getting interrupted by managers asking if I’ve gotten my damned apple.

    Why is it sometimes so hard to let fly the words: “Leave me the fuck alone, asshole!”?

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:51 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   GK bang

      I’ve wondered that myself. I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I secretly enjoy getting paid and not being sacked!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 4:31 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      CB, is the company getting a kickback from a local dentist?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 6:25 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   anglophile bang

      Uh, CB, I need to talk to you about your TPS reports….

      Oct 27, 2009 at 6:48 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Critical Grass bang

      CB, didn’t you get that memo?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 7:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, GK, that thought crossed my mind…also “…nose to spite face” and the discomfort of life as a homeless person! :-|

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Neeners

      Why don’t bosses just realize no amount of sugar, chocolate, salt (popcorn or nuts), or grease (donuts) paid for by the company, can make up for the fact that you would rather stay an antisocial hermit in your cubicle, than to partake in the fun games and festivities of stupid company incentives like that.

      If they had a punch your boss or coworkers in the nose day for morale, then I would attend.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Local Honey

      we had a pie in the face day to raise funds for donation. Bidding on one particular manager went to $40.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Amanda

      @ Local Honey — we had a similar thing here with a dunking booth. Each manager had a certain amount of time (I think half an hour) to be the dunkee, and $5 bought you 3 chances to dunk them. I have no idea how many times my immediate superior got dunked–I lost count after about 18, and a few people paid the $5 but missed the target all three times.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 3:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   Team Cassandra bang

      Becuz your passive aggressive nature requires you to say: No, but THANK YOU for being the 10th person to ask me today! :)

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    “You will need to make the popcorn yourself.”?

    That’s one long break, but it just goes to show you that some jobs really are just about as exciting as watching corn grow.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   JetJackson

    Didn’t that book win a Pulitzer?

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   BrookeDiz

      No, but Obama has just been named Motor Trend Car of the Year!

      Oct 26, 2009 at 11:19 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Finally, an American model wins.
      You got a problem with that? :mrgreen:

      Oct 26, 2009 at 11:24 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   aaa bang

    We were cheap before
    Now we have a good excuse
    Fuck you employees

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Critical Grass bang

    Here’s the first draft of that email:

    Water day

    Please come to the 3rd floor, next to the bubbler, 2:00 PM during your break (and don’t you dare come here before your own break or on someone else’s break!) and enjoy some water.

    You’ll need to get the water yourself.

    Please make sure you don’t leave the water fountain running when you have finished using it. Please DO NOT leave it running. Remember: Your mother doesn’t work here.

    Let’s keep the area clean. A mop and bucket are provided to assist in cleaning up.

    I figure all ya’ll know how a bubbler works.

    We’ll stop providing paper cups at 4:30 PM, no negotiation.

    Please consult with your supervisor or manager if you have any questions.

    Water is life! Enjoy!

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:16 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Thanks!

    I love how “on your break” is underlined! Popcorn Thursday sounds like it sucks ass! Corporate assholes can’t unpucker their butt for two and half hours!

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   JetJackson

    Publisher: “But Bob 1000 just isn’t enough ideas. As per the brief we need 1001. It looks better. People like symmetry in a title.”

    Bob: “I just don’t think I have another one in me.”

    Publisher: “Oh, don’t worry it doesn’t have to be a particularly good idea. Any shit will do.”

    Bob: “Ahh in that case I think I have something”

    Idea # 1001: Hire a popcorn machine for the lunch room.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:27 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   aaa bang

    I feel like pissing in the popcorn machine.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   bowloftoast bang

      HR feels that would be a little too close to entertainment – sorry.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, but it adds saltiness and that buttery color all at the same time.
      That counts as increased productivity in the office.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   aaa bang

      I may only be allowed to piss on my break, but it’ll save money on coconut oil and artificial butter flavor.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Meesh

      Work smarter, not harder.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 7:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Neeners

      That’s too easy to clean. How bout a dump?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   bowloftoast bang

      Good call Neeners, you could eat corn for dinner on Wednesday night and save yet another step.

      (That’s right, I went there)

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   aaa bang

      Urine’ll get into the weird little crevices and start smelling like burning cat’s kidneys once the machine heats up. :D

      Oct 27, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Palomon bang

    Where there is no morale there are no morale problems.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 10:50 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   MAMARILLA2 bang

    They will recieve enthusiasm from me the day they announce “Tequila Shot Tuesday”. Only then will I willingly give up a smoke break to ‘enjoy’ the company of my fellow cube-rats.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Mo® bang

      Spin the bottle Wednesday is scary~!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      @19
      Agreed. My first thought was how lame it was that H.R.’s master plan was for employees to trickle into the breakroom at random times throughout the afternoon to make sad, individual portions of popcorn for themselves. M2′s comment has reminded me that being forced to eat dry popcorn under fluorescent lights with people you don’t like (all while trying not to pee on yourself, since you’re blowing your bathroom break) would be the far worse fate.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Geek Goddess

      I will only bother showing up for Call in Sick Monday

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:22 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Adam

    First one: I feel like someone should step and a host the event. Could turn into a nice time, The Office style.

    Second one: Seems a little crass, to me.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   phd in yogurtry

    Ooh boy! Make it yourself AND clean up afterward? Wow. Don’t everybody rush to the break room at once.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 11:27 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    Being job sponsored takes the fun out of everything…unless they inadvertently do something stupid.

    My job sponsored a walk-a-thon to “draw attention to autism.”
    I couldn’t help thinking that the autism sufferers wouldn’t pay it much attention!

    Oct 26, 2009 at 11:37 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   GK bang

      Thumbs Up For Lepers!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 4:48 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   park rose

      I tried, but I just had to throw my hand in.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 7:24 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Critical Grass bang

      Alms for an ex-leper!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 7:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Meesh

      A walk-a-thon? Hey, it’s no skin off my nose.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:02 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   park rose bang

      Meesh, I heard you didn’t have a leg to stand on, though.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   farcical aquatic ceremony

      CB: dammit!!! you made me laugh at inappropriate humor! as a biodegradable-card-carrying, speak-no-evil-to-the-point-of-ulcer-development-type, I must now self-flagellate for at least 16 minutes. (Reminds me of how some reprobates recently exposed me to Helen Keller jokes…I’ll never be the same.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   GK bang

      Why don’t you relax with some leper jokes, f.a.c.? They’re ‘armless.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   Canthz_B bang

      There are Helen Keller jokes? That’s reprehensible.
      I hope she never heard any of them.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   Critical Grass

      Hey you guys, let’s not do that. Making jokes about Helen Keller is totally insensitive. Imagine how she would feel if she read those comments. Think about it.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:45 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   InYourSleep

      Nah…she can’t read them. Imagine how hard it would be to make braille for a computer! It’d change a lot. Like, every time you clicked something. Speaking of that, she wouldn’t know how to click, or more likely, what to click on. And even if she did, would she spend her time on pan? No, she’d be on wikihow, either clicking “random article” or searching “how to read braille on your computer”. So there.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.11   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah, but what if she figured out how to read braille on her computer and ended up Googling herself? She would end up here eventually, and then we could only wait for the lawsuits.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Canthz_B bang

    Notice that the title of that book isn’t: “1001 Way$ To Reward Your Employee$”.

    Thanks, Boss, but I can print a few dozen spiffy Certificates of Appreciation on my home computer.
    We are not impressed.

    Oct 26, 2009 at 11:59 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   cojo

    Last year around Thanksgiving my employer asked everyone to submit favorite recipes. At Xmas our Xmas email included a file attachment of recipes with the note that “even in hard economic times” we all like to eat, Merry Christmas. Our Xmas gift was our own recipes! Ho, ho, ho. Honesty, I’d much rather get a note saying that it was a bad year, merry xmas but no gift this year. It would be a lot more honest.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      If we don’t eat the mystery food our coworkers bring for potlucks, what makes management think we want their recipes for “crap in a casserole dish” for Christmas? :roll:

      Oct 27, 2009 at 12:25 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   GK bang

      We’ve been allowed to have a work Christmas dinner this year. As long as it’s on our own time. And we pay for the whole thing. And do all the organisation. And do it off-site.

      Luckily I didn’t want to go anyway!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 4:51 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Critical Grass bang

      You forgot to mention that it had to occur on January at 5 PM.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:36 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   GK bang

      Don’t laugh. The last time we got a firm-sponsored Christmas dinner (some years ago now), it was held in the following February. No word of a lie.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:18 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah… that must’ve been bad.

      For me February = Carnaval, but I guess that’s just me.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   T.U.M.

      Jeez, they couldn’t even run to the expense of printing a chapbook?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.7   jean

      Did they provide a trash can for you to clean up after yourselves?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Mike

    My break time is 1:45-2:00 :-(

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   bowloftoast bang

    Unfortunately, things got a little hinky on popcorn day last year. Some idiot went to the third floor while not on break, poured a 6 pound bag of kernels into the machine, ate their fill then left the room without turning off the machine. It took nearly three hours to dig out Lois from Accounting. Poor Lois…so close to retirement.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   bcteagirl

    Your going to raise my what to improve morale??

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Canthz_B bang

      Skirt?
      It may improve your morale, but I won’t say what it will do for your morals. ;-)

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   GK bang

      It’s raising my morale already! Wait, that’s not a morale… 8-O

      Oct 27, 2009 at 4:53 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   park rose

      There’s amoral to that piece of tail.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   melba

    Waitta minute. HR, or whoever sent this “invite”, can’t even be bothered to pop up a batch of popcorn?!

    Excuse me while I email my supervisor or manager. I have a question. Do I need to bring my own napkins?

    Oct 27, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Canthz_B bang

      It all has to do with job description.
      If you’re designated as an Account Rep/Food Service/Building Maintenance worker, you will need to work accounts until your break, make your own popcorn and clean up after yourself.

      Supply your own napkins, because Carl the Creepy Department Manager is tasked with licking your fingers.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   jetjackson bang

      Consultation with your manager on whether or not to bring knapkins will be billed at $25/email or $4.95/minute by phone. You don’t even want to see the charges for a call-out to your desk.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Byatch

    it’s better than cake and fruit …

    Oct 27, 2009 at 6:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Amanda

      whaaaat? Cake and fruit > popcorn

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Critical Grass bang

      Fruitcake?

      Yeah?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   RP

      Fruit & cake = fig newtons

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Havingfitz

    Attention:

    Will the person who removed the popcorn machine from the 3rd floor break room please return it immediately? We’re a community here. Besides, it wasn’t really a popcorn machine; it was a diamond machine.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 7:15 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Neeners

      Sorry, I threw it out the window. It hit the bosses Mercedes on the way down.

      Oh yeah and I had to break the plate glass to get it out so there’s that too. Sorry again.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Andrea

    OMG, I totally LOVE this! LOL!

    Oct 27, 2009 at 7:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Geek Goddess

      OMG, I totally LOVE this comment! LOL!

      THX, Andrea!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   angelbreath

      ZOMG U GUYZ!!!!1! ROTFL

      SO RANDOM!!!!

      XXXOOO

      Nov 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Amanda

    Oh, I’m SO glad my office isn’t the only one who is like this. Although its depressing that other people must share in this misery, at least I’m not alone.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Joe 2

    Forget popcorn!
    I’m going to the mens room ON MY BREAK with some hand creme and thoughts of Cindy Crawford.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   MissAnthrope

      That’s not hand cream! It’s DIAMOND CREAM! Think about THAT while you’re in the men’s room.

      And please clean up after yourself when you’re done. Your mother doesn’t work here.

      Thanks!
      Mgmt.

      Oct 28, 2009 at 1:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   GK bang

    That raise was popping cornlicious!

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   jjuice bang

    All yall should just be grateful you get Break Time….

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Critical Grass bang

      Uh… I think someone has a case of Mondays. Oh, wait… Damn!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:23 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Phalange

      Yes, I should be grateful that I’m allowed such gracious luxuries as time to GO TO THE BATHROOM.

      Also, “All yall”???? Really????

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   park rose bang

      Pssst, Phalange miss place is so serious.

      I think jjuice is joking? p’rhaps.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.4   jjuice bang

      You have A BATH at work Phalange?
      Sheesh. I am looking for a new job…..

      Oct 27, 2009 at 9:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.5   RP

      I know, Phalange! Everyone knows it’s “y’all” not “yall”.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   deedee

    OH NO! I accidentally went to the second floor and nuked my own popcorn in the microwave. I hate that I missed all the fun :(

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   GK bang

    My response to this situation would be to bring in a bag of popcorn on the Friday and make it at lunch time. Bonus points if the microwave is near HR’s desks (sadly not the case in my office) so they can get a whiff. Then I can submit to http://www.passiveaggressivesmells.com!

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   oi bang

      You always can take a longer route to your office and pass by HR with your popcorn bowl in your hand. especially if you use cattle corn brand.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Mo® bang

    Popcorn Thursdays was more successful than melba toast Mondays.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   park rose bang

      Which was puzzling to all, because Angel food cake on Alliterative Acension was a huge hit. Though that may have just been an Assumption of Mary’s.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 8:37 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   mamason bang

      If I remember correctly, we were served popecorn that day.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   T imo®

      Trout Tuesdays took the top title!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 11:47 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Meesh

      Well we can’t forget how much people loved the deviled eggs we had on the Immaculate Conception last December. All the Saints were there that Day. Aw the hell with it! Let’s pick a Good Friday to do that again.

      Oct 27, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   park rose

      So it’s all a lie? Mary got knocked up Satan? The Saviour is the spawn of the devil? Or make that the savour. I think maybe we should pick Black Friday Bagels (made with squid ink).

      Oh, and Meesh, did those Saints come marching in? How come they got to attend two parties that year?

      Oct 27, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   park rose

      Trout Tuesdays took the top title; that’s titillating, Timo!

      Oct 27, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   T.U.M.

    Each Thursday, the first 100 lucky employees will be given slide whistles. The second 100 will be given brass knuckles, at which point the first 100 cease to be lucky.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 11:31 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Neeners

    I’ve been boosting my own morale with microwave popcorn at least 2-3 time a week at work. So what about me? I guess I’ve been having more fun than I realized.

    Plus I don’t need a broom and dustpan to clean up after myself. If I want to do housework I’ll take a mental health day (aka sick day) and go do laundry and dishes.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 11:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Michelle S.

    Nothing takes me back to the years I spent shackled to a desk at my office job like “Popcorn Thursday”. Does HR ever realize they’re writing the script to the sequel to Office Space?

    Oct 27, 2009 at 11:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Clumber

    Just a few months ago we had our annual “Employee Recognition Day”…. it was a potluck. No, not kidding. They just provided the (free) venue of having it at a local park.

    We feel so…. recognized.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:00 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   Canthz_B bang

      Back in the mid-1980s Prudential used to throw the mother of all picnics for it’s employees.
      It was like a carnival, with food stalls and games, live music and I don’t know what all.

      Well, I don’t know what all because there was always a beer truck there and I never really strayed far from that truck, but I heard that the rest of the picnic was a blast!!

      Oct 28, 2009 at 10:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Neeners

    Third floor break room? How many floors and break rooms does this dump have? Is the morale on each floor different? Would say floor five have a more jovial attitude towards life since they have Chocolate Mondays? Is there a penthouse at the top? What is this place?

    Newsflash: Popcorn doesn’t equal instant fun and morale. It would have to be more like a carnival atmosphere (without the carnies please). Bring in some clowns and kids throwing up corn dogs on the pony rides. Now we are talking fun!

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Gouldfinger

    Our christmas party is a huge potluck in the department. All the graduate students tend to bake cookies, make pies, salads, chilis etc… The head of department… brings tortillas chips and dip. In a bag. Just one. And one jar of dip.
    And every year all the other faculty members have to press him like a stone to extract a measly $100 for drink.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 12:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   morale booster

    I meant no animadversions against any one, and certainly intended no disrespectful allusions to your mother.

    ~ Casey in HR.

    Oct 27, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Neeners

    A pox on your Popcorn Day HR and may you all bite into an ‘old maid’ and break a cap.

    Why do they call those unpopped kernels old maids, how rude?

    Oct 27, 2009 at 5:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   ashley

    ok, this note and idea is ridiculous, but not all HR people are that bad!!

    Oct 27, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   GK bang

      Spoken like a true HR person!

      Oct 28, 2009 at 4:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   Adriana

    Hah, I like the “give raises” post-it. It’s so true. Reminds me of magazine articles titled “100 Ways to Please Your Man.” They always have tips like ‘let him hang out with the boys,’ ‘tell him how much you appreciate him,’ ‘surprise him with a homemade dinner,’ ‘watch the game with him,’ etc., and while I’m sure men would like all those things, every woman knows that there’s one, maybe two, for-sure reliable ways to please a man. Those suggestions are more for the women who don’t want to put out all the time, just like the “morale boosters” are ways for employers to reward employees without having to “put out” too much money.

    Oct 30, 2009 at 3:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   GK bang

      Can’t speak for all men, but personally those sound like better ways to keep me happy than sex. Any idiot with the right plumbing can do that.

      Nov 2, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #49   Woman on the Verge bang

    I sent this to someone who works closely with HR. She helps plan those morale-boosting events. She didn’t think it was funny… apparently this type of thing is all to common. Is it bad that I laughed in her face?

    Oct 30, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   raging against the pinball machine | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: “Popcorn Thursday” [...]

    Dec 6, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    [...] “Popcorn Thursday,” and 100 other ways to reward employees besides giving raises. [...]

    Oct 7, 2010 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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    [...] related: You gotta hand it to HR… [...]

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