The half-donut bandit

October 28th, 2009 · 203 comments

As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.

While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also be interested to see his advice for Mike in Cleveland, who seems to have similar delusions about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of 10.

(click the image below to enlarge)

passivaggressivenotes.com:

The kicker? As it turns out, according to our anonymous submitter,”the bandit was, in fact, a guy!”

related: Just take the whole slice next time, okay?

FILED UNDER: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought


203 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Canthz_B bang

    Somebody sounds awfully upset about being left with only half a donut to call someone else a fat loser.
    Odds are the half-a-donut bandit is thin, which explains why they only needed half.

    Oct 28, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   eh?

      You’re probably right about half-a-donut bandit being thin because they only eat half donuts… but let me be picky about thin people (or anyone for that matter) “needing” a donut. They’re a junk food with no essential nutrients. Using that sort of logic, we’d end up with overweight people “needing” more food because they’re bigger. Huh? :)

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:59 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, you’re serious?

      I clearly meant only “needed” half a donut to feel sated.
      All of your daily nutritional “needs” could be put into pill form, but it wouldn’t be very satisfying.

      Overweight people do need more food if they intend to remain overweight. Huh? :roll:

      Oct 29, 2009 at 6:09 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Critical Grass bang

      Hi, my name is CG, I’m thin and a need a whole donut.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 6:36 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Mo®

      Hello, my name is Mo and I need a whole donut. A Krispy Kreme raspberry filled powdered please. If it’s not too much trouble a cup of their java would also hit the spot.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:27 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Critical Grass bang

      Hi, Mo!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Mo® bang

      I just take it one donut hole at a time and keep coming back!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Critical Grass bang

      Those holes are really tricky.
      Just when you got out, they pull you back in.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Mo® bang

      Heck yeah, go ask Alice!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Amanda

      I suppose this isn’t the conversation in which to interject that I don’t eat doughnuts at all…

      too hard to stop once you start!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   oi bang

      Conspiracy! Conspiracy!

      Donuts? again?

      What did I ever do to you Kerry?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Critical Grass bang

      Still on the “spawns of evil” phase, huh?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   oi bang

      yes yes they are. Always looking at me with a single eye determination, luring me to eat them with glossy chocolate cover or furry coat of powdered sugar.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Mo® bang

      If it is “furry” it may not be sugar, honey.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:41 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.14   Kelly

      My parasite needs a whole donut.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:16 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.15   oi bang

      That donut was my baby’s acid reflux and heart burn for today.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.16   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Stephen King says that if you tap the donut on the table then eat the part you didn’t tap, your donut has zero calories. He claims all the calories fall to the part that is tapped against the table.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.17   Neeners

      I’ve said it before but it doesn’t sink in. It has been scientifically proven, there are less calories in the donut if you eat it in small increments. Plus it is more satisfying so butt out Bagel Queen facilitator.

      In between the time you go back and forth to cut away at another morsel is the time you burn calories by running back and forth from your desk or doing copies at the copier.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.18   spottedbuddy bang

      Why don’t they take the whole doughnut, cookie, pizza slice, etc. ? Who wants to eat food that God knows who had their hands all over it while taking what they thought was the best part?

      It was probably the office petri dish who licks their fingers and rubs their nasty spit all over everything they touch.
      And now it’s going to waste because no one is going to eat it now.

      Just take the whole thing, girlfriend/boyfriend – WE deserve it!

      Oct 30, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.19   OhLawdy bang

      I knew the first time I saw you that you’d be ONE OF THOSE.

      Nov 2, 2009 at 11:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Kelly

    Ever since I started eating donuts by the half, I’ve lost tons (metaphorically speaking) of weight!

    Of course, this may have something to do with the intestinal parasite I ordered from the back of a Sears-Roebuck catalog.

    Oct 28, 2009 at 11:40 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Critical Grass bang

      Uh, I hear those are good for you… Or, bad. I don’t know anymore…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 6:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   aaa bang

      Hey, I’m in Parasitology right now! I know all sorts of parasites that’ll make you shit until you’re skinny! :D

      Unfortunately, a lot of them don’t make you skinny unless you’re already malnourished. So, um, either stop eating or swallow plastic bags to make you feel constantly full like the sea turtles do.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   jim

      South Bronx Paradise, baby!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, those poor sea turtles… Don’t remind me.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   spottedbuddy bang

      #2 Kelly, I think you wasted your money. You probably could have gotten an intestinal parasite for free just by wiping your ass with the Sears Roebuck catalogue

      Oct 30, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   sadi

      I only ate 1/2 the parasite. Now I need to drink 1/2 of a diet Pepsi.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   JetJackson

    I think we have a ‘feeder’ on our hands here…

    “What… only half the donut? Eat it bitch! Eat the fucking donut!”

    Oct 28, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   bowloftoast bang

      I think you’ve hit the nail on the head JJ. If we could remove that black box at the bottom of the email, I’m certain it would be signed ‘Lardette’.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   JetJackson

      I think there is a tongue twister in it…

      The Friday Feeder Facilitates the Fat Fest in hope of Feeling the Fatty Tissue to Fascinate his Fat Fetish…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:25 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Mo®

      Fabulous!!!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Canthz_B bang

      Fun-nomenal!!!

      As opposed to fun, nominal.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t know, am I to take it the the writer brings in donuts and bagels for the other employees on Fridays?
    If so, and she (I say she because no guy would give a crap if someone only took half) hates overweight people so much, why doesn’t she bring in something a bit healthier…Denny’s All-American Slams perhaps (three scrambled eggs with Cheddar cheese, two bacon strips and two sausage links, plus hash browns or grits and choice of bread)?

    Oct 28, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Denny’s Lumberjack breakfast. Two pancakes, a slice of ham, two bacon strips, two sausage links and two eggs any syle plus hash browns or grits and choice of bread…This one has it all. (just so you know, I have personally watched some one eat two of these) *gag*

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Bellabeastie

      I just threw up a little. Just got over the flu.

      *double-gagimux maximus refleximatic *

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Critical Grass bang

      @ 4.1 – I’m gonna thumb ya for the trauma.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Thank you for the thumb, CG. Wished I could have gotten combat pay for every day that I worked at the Denny’s and saw people abusing their bodys by eating enough food to feed a starving nation in one sitting.

      Nov 1, 2009 at 10:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   AuntyBron

    First of all, if the donuts were for the employee appreciation, it ain’t theft.

    Secondly, the note writer needs to re-read her nuitritional handbook. A half of a donut is NOT as bad as a whole donut – it has HALF the calories, fat, etc. (Hence the name…)

    Oct 28, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      In stark contrast to this math stands the writer’s comment.
      A half-ass reason to go bananas on someone is equally as bad as a full-ass-on reason!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:02 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   JetJackson

      I think it raises the question why is the accuser upset in the first place? I can only deduce that they honestly believe that the fingerprints or saliva left on the remaining half piece of donut render it inedible. Suck it up and eat the germ infested donut I say! Great for building up the immune system.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   GK bang

      “Nutrinal”, AuntyBron. It’s pronounced “nutrinal”.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 4:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Canthz_B bang

      Is a “nutrinal” a urinal with a vitamin pill dispenser attached, GK? :mrgreen:

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Mo® bang

      And not neutrino!? It does have flavor. :grin:

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Critical Grass bang

      I don’t know about neutrinos, but I hear those protons are very tasty.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Mark bang

      Quarks actually do have flavor. Top, bottom, up, down, strange, charm…

      Yes, quarks like to be tops and bottoms. (actually, they really don’t).

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:32 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Mo® bang

      A quark of a given flavour is an eigenstate of the weak interaction part of the Hamiltonian: it will interact in a definite way with the W and Z bosons.

      Those are some lovely bosons!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   AuntyBron

      How did my nuitritional rant morph into quantum mechanics?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Phalange

      I’m uncertain, just like Heisenberg.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Well, the only Quark I know of prefers Gold-pressed Latinum. Oh and a good lobe rub.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 12:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   bcteagirl

    Never seen someone go so half assed over half a donut before..

    Maybe it was half a jelly donut and he sucked all the jelly out?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   park rose

      Left both of them in a jam.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Snayl bang

      I’d be suspicious of anyone with a glazed look in his eyes. Well, in one eye…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:56 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   bcteagirl

      He’d be jell’n :P

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Mo® bang

      Goodbye cruller world!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:43 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Canthz_B bang

      It’s going to be hard to eclair a winner on this one.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      That just takes the cake. See, you finally got a raised off me.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   watchtower

      No more puns, please. It’s more than I can bear claw.

      Oct 31, 2009 at 12:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Is there a batter way to fritter away your time?

      Nov 1, 2009 at 10:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   park rose

    Take the hole doughnut! Take the hole doughnut! Definitely no weight gain. You lose big time.

    Funny that she quotes from the “Waste Land”. I guess that’s what the doughnut box (with the half doughnut) looked like to her, or possibly the “Waist Land”.

    Oh, okay, I see it’s from “The Hollowmen”. Still the same writer. Still apt ;) Half-correct references, half-arsed research…

    Oct 29, 2009 at 12:21 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   park rose

    don’t do nuttin the box do in’ my nut in.

    move along…

    a squirrel wrote the above.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   GK bang

    But we still haven’t heard the most important part; what sort of man takes half a doughnut?! Inquiring minds want to know!

    Oct 29, 2009 at 4:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      A half-wit?
      Someone who does things halfheartedly?
      The type of guy who often goes off half-cocked?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 4:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Mo®

      A Halfling?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   AuntyBron

      Are we assuming too much? I mean, did whoever took the half donut use a knife? Or did he litterally eat half and put the rest back?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   park rose bang

      a hollow man or maybe Michael Stipe.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 4:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   ScoobyJenkins

    It may have only been half, but that half a donut was fucking delicious.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 5:12 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   JetJackson

      Arghhhh!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      Look everyone! A real, live, one-trick pony!!

      ScoobyJenkins:

      That donut was fucking delicious.

      Oct 23, 2009 at 1:16 am rating: 0

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:31 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Oh Really

      Wouldn’t half the donut be fuck deli?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:47 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   QuarterRoy00 bang

    I was turned into a half-donut bandit by an ass-pirate. It’s not my fault!

    Oct 29, 2009 at 6:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Critical Grass bang

    I for one don’t like when people don’t go all the way in their actions, if it’s an everyday situation or a lifetime plan, you should always finish wh

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:29 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      Now that’s fu

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:48 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Critical Grass bang

      You th

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:52 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Canthz_B bang

      I’m still laug

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Critical Grass bang

      ;)
      Now seriously, we all should think about

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:33 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   GK bang

      That’s what she

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   Critical Grass bang

      You can say that ag

      Oct 29, 2009 at 6:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   HappyNat

    It appears the fatty who sent the e-mail only took half of her meds that day. I say fatty because only a fatty would pay enough attention and encourage someone to eat a whole donut when they only wanted half.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Sue

      Actually, thin people hate half-assed folks too. I’m think and I hate people who only take 1/2 a donut “because they’re watching their weight.” Give me a break. Just eat the damn thing. No one wants your half that you left sitting in the box because you want to show everyone how dedicated to your diet you are. You know you want it.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   HappyNat

      Fatty or thin I can’t believe anyone gives a shit if somebody takes half a donut. Maybe they are feeling bloated, maybe they already at two donuts, maybe they are twats counting calories, maybe they are OCD, maybe they like fractions, who the hell cares?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Kriesa

      Personally, I love it when someone else takes half a donut. Then I can also have half a donut without being the one to leave half behind. Or I can eat a quarter donut without feeling guilty, because I wasn’t the one who divided it first. In our office, someone always eats left-behind fractions.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:08 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Mo® bang

      I LOVE fractions! I only 35/64ths of a donut.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Critical Grass bang

      Donuts are very mathematical like that. See the donut charts, for instance.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Havingfitz

    I can’t really relate. I don’t take half a donut. I’m more included to take half of all the whole donuts available, a few of the bagels, a couple tubs of cream cheese, the jug of orange juice, 50 napkins, a whole stack of plates, and possibly a chair while I’m at it.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’m included to agree with you! ;-)

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   adam

      I’m inclined to think you used the wrong word, haha.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Canthz_B bang

      Boy, adam, you’re smart…now stand up straight! . :-P

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Critical Grass bang

      Adam, you should talk to Bob, you guys have a lot in common.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Rachet

      Heh.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Adam

      Thanks for being mean, guys!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   anglophile bang

      Now, that was a perfectly wonderful passive/aggressive comment, Adam. I like you.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:04 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   Critical Grass bang

      Yey, Adam! You just got the spirit of PAN.

      Are you telling me you were serious about our mean ways?

      Gee, the disappointment…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Girl Friday

    I will be purchasing donuts for my floor tomorrow and sending out a plagiarized version of this PAN. I love it!

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Critical Grass bang

    See, this is how it starts. First people only eat the top of the muffins, then they eat the sashimis and leave the rice balls on the plate, and now they’re eating half a donut. That ain’t right, people. What’s next? Posting half a comment on Twitter?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   hellocello

      that sounds lik

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   GK bang

      Didn’t we already do

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Critical Grass bang

      Yes, I believe w

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   pony girl

      I’m getting deja

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   wright

      Tonight on “It’s the Mind”, we examine the phenomenon of deja vu. That extraordinary feeling

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Mo®

      Tonight on “It’s the Mind”, we examine the phenomenon of deja vu. That extraordinary feeling…

      Oct 30, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Suki

      Tonight on “It’s the Mind”, we examine the phenomenon of deja vu. That extraordinary feeling…

      Oct 30, 2009 at 8:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Rong

      Tonight on “It’s the Mind”, we examine the phenomenon of deja vu. That extraordinary feeling

      Oct 30, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Michelle S.

    “I say ‘girlfriend’ because no guy would take only a 1/2 a donut” is my favorite line this week.

    I didn’t realize every office had a nibbler. Ours was the boss. This is the same boss that once banned junk food and pop from the graphics department during publication deadline week. Things get very ugly when you take an artist’s coke and nacho cheese doritos away from her during an 70+ hour work week.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah, I’ve seen something like that once. They had to lock the girl in the studio because she wanted to, you know, kill the guy who banned the goodies from the whole floor. She calmed down when someone threw her a Twix bar. That happened to a girl that I know, it wasn’t me, ok? What?! It wasn’t!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Mo® bang

      Oh the humanity! Do these people not understand how the universe works?
      They just found and dug up a vending machine with a vending machine employee jammed inside out in the desert. He had apparently been strangled with yogurt raisins stuffed in his mouth and a large number of granola bars were stuffed up his rectum.
      I knew that replacing the peanut M&M’s and Baby Ruths with that shit was going to end badly for him…. Just saying.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:27 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Critical Grass bang

      You try to warn people, do they listen? Noooooo.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Joe 2

    “But I don’t want to EAT it. I only want to TASTE it.”

    -Winnie the Pooh

    Oct 29, 2009 at 8:46 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Bellabeastie

    Well, you wouldn’t want to come off as a Piglet, now would you?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Critical Grass bang

      Well, you wouldn’t want to come off as a gigglebraxer, now would you?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Bellabeastie

      OOpps — sorry CG.. I’m a little out of practice and recovering from the flu. Forgive me.

      Now where’s my half-donut?? I was saving that for later… all nice and dried out — nobody else touched it. Perfect. Sorta like my stomach right now.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Critical Grass bang

      ;)

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Bellabeastie

      Munch.. ahh, the food of the Office Community Kitchen. Half is better than none. I guess. Sorta.

      Unless someone left lasagna. Then it’s stop, drop and tackle, baby! Winner takes all. I’d rather eat that than some slimey ole donut all day long. Also very handy to stink up the office microwave first thing in the morning .. Yep.

      Have a nice day. (got some garflic toast to go with this?) Zeez. Just askin’

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   aloria

    Wow, this letter writer would have a nervous breakdown at my office. I’d say half the staff take half a donut whenever someone brings them in. Suits me just fine; I end up being the one who ends up scarfing all the delicious abandoned halves at the end of the day.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 9:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Bob

    I like the slam on the guy’s masculinity.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 9:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   HappyNat

      I like that you are a wussy little girl.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Critical Grass bang

      *Pointing and laughing*

      *Wiping off the coffee of my computer screen*

      Totally worth it.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Woman on the Verge bang

    I always order a big ass diet coke with my double whopper with cheese meal. There are two very good reasons for this:
    1. The lack of calories in the diet coke negates some of the calories from the meal.
    2. I just love diet coke in a waxed paper cup with crushed ice and a straw. It makes me happy.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Amanda

      Diet drinks are so bad for you though, aspartame is even worse than sugar… just skip the sodas altogether if you really want to be healthy! When you get used to unsweetened tea, it’s fucking delicious, especially with a lime wedge.
      mmm.. now I’m thirsty..

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Mark bang

      Explain how aspartame is even worse than sugar.

      Also, explain how sugar is bad.

      *doesn’t like unsweetened tea, but loves plain water with a squirt of lemon*

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Critical Grass bang

      No, you don’t.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Mark bang

      Oh, we’re back to this, are we? Look, this isn’t an argument! It’s just contradiction!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, and you’re sure about that, eh?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   oi

      To Mark,
      Yes It is.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   Mark bang

      You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I’ve only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   Mo® bang

      She is making that face again. :grin:

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   Critical Grass bang

      Right on, Mo. Right on. :D

      Oct 29, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   Irving Washington

      I always order a big ass diet coke with my double whopper with cheese meal. There are two very good reasons for this:

      1. I have type one diabetes
      2. I guess it works for some people (like [black box]) to make a general insulting comment about behaviour that could have a legitimate explanation and in fact only makes the person making the comment (like [black box]) look like an inconsiderate jerk. I do this because some people (like [black box]) seem to like looking like inconsiderate jerks. As I (unlike [black box]) am not an inconsiderate jerk, I take pleasure in helping people rather than incorrectly ascribing their motives to ignorance rather than a medical condition.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 5:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Wade bang

    :idea:

    I think we are missing the marketing potential here.

    I can see it now… Sell half-doughnuts at whole doughnut prices. Call them DonutsLite© – half the calories/half the fat

    It’s a win-win!

    Oct 29, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Wade, you’ve missed your calling. I can see your infomercials now…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 9:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Bunnee

      I don’t know, Wade. It didn’t work when George tried to cash in on selling just the muffin tops…Just sayin’…. ;)

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Amanda

      That’s because there was no market for the bottom of the muffin–half a doughnut works equally for both sides! :D

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Critical Grass bang

      - What? You want half a donut?!

      - No donut for you!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   oi bang

      I don’t want no donut.

      alright, I ‘d take a half…
      You know what? I’d take a box of assorted donuts. Just a box can’t be that bad.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Critical Grass bang

      It doesn’t really count if you give one to your roomate and eat the other nine. But remember, you have to eat only nine.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Beanster bang

      but would one side count as the good side? are there donut stumps? do homeless people want them?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   ClearlyDemented

      Wade, the real money is not in the donut selling (they’re only like 25 cents anyway, right?) I propose we invent, produce and send directly to infomercial the Donut Halfer.

      Do you struggle with trying to cut donuts in half? (showing dull knife ripping donut in half)

      Does your office have a few of these lying around after Corporate’s-too-cheap-to-buy-it-for-us-so-they-tell-us-to-buy-each-other-food-in-appreciation-of-each-other Day?
      (showing squished, ripped half-donut with fingerprint indentation)

      It’s so hard to cut them evenly!
      (showing woman cutting a donut into one-third and two-third parts, looking frustrated and then helpless. cutter is wearing red lipstick, ’80s hairstyle and mom sweater/jeans)

      Well, we’ve got the product for you! The Donut Halfer can double the amount of people you can feed with a dozen donuts in less than five minutes!
      (studio has 12 set Donut Halfers up while crazily excited man and supporting woman asking him questions follows him around as he closes the lid, opens, and is amazed at how well his donut is halved)

      WE WILL MAKE MILLIONS!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   Wade bang

      Now, if we could just perfect a cutter attachment that leaves a bite mark pattern…

      …because we wouldn’t want to inadvertently dry up a rich source of PA notes.

      ;)

      Oct 29, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   Bellabeastie

      Howver, the character described would be more like a Donut Heiffer. Given the attire and hair and all. If I want to hang around with them, I can go to P.T.A. No thx. I’ve seen it in real time, and it will make you swear off donuts. For life.

      Oh the vision, oh the pain. And don’t forget those Sign Up Sheets. Run!! as fast as you can!!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   cheeky

    I truly fail to see the problem here. People eating a half a donut instead of a whole one just leave all the more donuts for me to eat!

    Where I can I replace my colleagues (who may eat 2-3 donuts in one sitting) with these half-nibblers???

    Oct 29, 2009 at 10:51 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   aaa bang

      A lot of people aren’t sensible enough to tear or cut it in half. Do you really want to eat the nibbled on part your coworkers had in their mouths?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   clumber

      Get out of IT, Cheeky. The most sensible solution.

      Nov 2, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   oi bang

    What I want to know is how did it “turn out” that bandit was a man? What was the note writer’s reaction? Happy and triumphant that he found the thief or beaten like a pinched balloon after knowing that it was a guy?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   aaa bang

    Maybe the bandit realized that donuts are fucking nasty halfway through eating it and decided to stop there before he died.

    P.S. Dignity is for losers.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   oi bang

      Dignity is for sissys.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Critical Grass bang

      Dignity? Pshaw…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Will

    I get the Diet Coke with the Whopper. Because I like the taste better than regular Coke. Just because someone’s a fatty doesn’t mean he has an insatiable sweet tooth.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 11:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   aaa bang

      Diet Coke is evil. Your malevolent desires must be purged. Forcefully.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Beth

      Yeah, people like to act like their pretzels and crackers aren’t as bad for them as a donut, but you eat a couple handfuls of Cheez-Its and you may as well have popped a Krispy Creme in your gullet.

      I’ve been drinking diet drinks for so long that full-sugar drinks make me gag.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   aaa bang

      I wouldn’t even consider the regular stuff “sugar” since it’s usually made with high fructose corn syrup. The crap made with real sugar tastes 1000 times better and doesn’t reek of corporate cheap-assedness.

      Mexican Coca-Cola FTW

      Oct 29, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   pony girl

      wooohoo!
      shout out to Dublin Dr Pepper

      (only Dr Pepper made with real sugar. one of the reasons I live in Texas!)

      and, now, back to our regularly scheduled PANing…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   Phalange

      I only considered Coca-Cola made with real cocaine to be any good. None of this imitation “drug-free” shit.

      And what’s with taking the lithium out of 7-up?

      Oct 30, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   Creepy Neighbor

      Holy crap to Dublin Dr. Pepper. I quit soft drinks, but if I pass through Dublin, I stop at the factory for one.

      Also? Anyone who eats half a donut should be ashamed. That’s the food of several pantheons of gods. Eat as many as you can lay hands on.

      Nov 4, 2009 at 4:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   aaa bang

    I am so a man
    So what if I just ate half?
    Where is my penis?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      If you can’t find it…. That may be the problem.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      my bad: I was using it and one of the breakroom donuts to make rude gestures… (shamefacedly returns it to aaa). I’ll just toss the donut back in the box; ‘d be a shame to waste it.

      moral of the story: no food left sitting out is safe as long as aaa’s penis is around.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 1:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   se

      I have tried to return aaa’s penis several times,but she always threatens me with a court order that says I have to stay away from her. How is that fair?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   Critical Grass bang

      So if you have aaa’s penis, whose is… Nevermind.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   pony girl

      awesome haiku, aaa !

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Nikki

    PS to the sexist individual who wrote that, lots of guys do take half donuts. We have hoardes of men in my office each summer and plenty of them will only take a half donut. And, while you’re eating whole donuts, why don’t you just start eating the whole dozen because you’ve already lost the battle. Then, you may as well eat the whole dozen of bagels, too. And the whole tub of cream cheese, because you’ve already lost the battle.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   GK bang

      “Hm, I’m not sure whether it should be ‘hoard’ or ‘horde’… let’s just split the difference.”

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Mo® bang

      What are they doing in your office shouldn’t they be out at Fire Island? Is it raining? Man.

      Hallelujah!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Nikki

      Thanks for correcting me on that one. Horde is the crowd while hoard is a stockpile or the verb. My fingers ran away with me.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Act

    I like how it isn’t at all a possibility that maybe the “nibbler” just didn’t *want* the other half. That boggles me.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Woman on the Verge bang

    I must confess. Rather than eat a half donut, I would just lick the frosting off of a whole one and put it back. Hey, I’d be helping those anti-sugar nazis who want the plain donuts, right?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Mo® bang

      Mmmmmm pre-moistened donuts! :razz:

      Oct 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      I’ll leave one just for you , Mo ®

      Oct 29, 2009 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Err

    Oh look its the mysterious We making the decisions for the entire office again! I really do love We, whom ever that may be! What would we … or I do without We who makes all the decisions.

    I’d love to know how that survey got passed around the office. Perhaps the email should have come with all the statistics a pie um.. err.. donut chart with data that the entire office with the exception of half a donut man prefers that the entire donut is taken.

    Blackout would love to visit our office. More than one person here leaves 3/4 of a donut.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   7 minute abs

    But it’s 7 minute abs!

    Oct 29, 2009 at 1:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Beth

    And things like this are why I take a whole donut, eat half, wrap the rest in a napkin and pitch it in the trash. You’re welcome, random dumpster diver!

    Oct 29, 2009 at 1:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   pony girl

      Things like this are why I end up stabbing a co-worker with a sharpie.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   kidsis

    As a person that orders a Diet Coke with the Double Whopper with cheese meal (king-sized, please), I’m offended by this emailer’s tone and implication. Ever stop to think that the maybe someone who does hat is diabetic? The food does very little to my blood sugar, but the soda could put me in a coma!

    But, seriously, regular soda tastes so nasty to me now. The inside of my mouth tingles and there’s a weird aftertaste. Even other sugar-sweetened non soda beverages may be like that to me. Unless they’re chocolate baised,for some reason….

    Oct 29, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Urispaz

    I can completely sympathize with the note writer’s disdain for people who only do things halfway. Because I am disgusted with all you people who can’t even be bothered with spelling out doughnut all the way.

    THIS IS WHY WE HAVE A TRADE DEFICIT, PEOPLE!! And I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the spread of the swine flu, too.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 4:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Mark bang

      Ugh. Donut is a perfectly acceptable variant of doughnut. Both are correct. Trust me, you really don’t want to get into this argument.

      Both are perfectly cromulent words.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, so we’re doing this now? Everyday someone will come here and list all the reasons why they disdain us?

      Yey! That will be fun! Hey, Urispaz, I don’t disdain you, dude. In fact, it’s quite the opposite, I totally dain you.

      See what I did there, eh? I told you: FUN STUFF!

      Oct 29, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.3   park rose

      Mark is rite.
      That’s the way the doughnut, donut, cookie cromulents.

      *need to watch more Simpsons.

      PS: U – I thought your comment was funny.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.4   anglophile bang

      Urispaz, I have a particularly horrible Boss Lady. She insists on writing “nite” instead of “night”. I would like to slap her every time I read it and shout in her face, bathing her with spittle, “JUST SPELL THE WHOLE WORD OUT! YOU ARE ONLY SAVING YOURSELF ONE FUCKING LETTER AND LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT WHILE YOU DO IT!”

      But I don’t. Because it’s a tough job market out there, especially when one of the requirements of a good job is complete immunity to hanging out on passiveaggressivenotes.com all day.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.5   Bellabeastie

      Dain Urispaz–You are herewith and forthcoming summonded to the throne of Queen Cee and Gee. Whereupon you will be expected to partake of half DoUGHnuts until such time as you recant your silly little trifling critisim. Such behaviour is not becoming of a Dain, but could be forgivin if you bear the appropriate comuppance.

      Singned, Princess Bella of Lasagna

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.6   Err

      Blame it on Dunkin’ Donuts…. or is that Dunking Doughnuts?

      Oct 29, 2009 at 5:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.7   bcteagirl

      Drunken Doughnuts :P

      Oct 29, 2009 at 6:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.8   Act

      The only reason “donut” is an acceptable spelling is because so many people use it. Same reason “warsh” is an acceptable pronunciation of “wash.” Neither one was correct at some point, but because we love to ruin our language (at least, I’m pretty sure that’s why), they became common enough that they had to be acknowledged. It saddens me.

      Oct 31, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.9   park rose

      I agree. We should all go back to wearing naprons, eating noranges and nother thing, we shouldn’t differentiate between ‘p’ and ‘v’ (because I don’t think we used to – I have to check my Pinker, might be v and w). Also we should use the historically correct singular of pea which is peas, the plural being peasen, I think. Right on, Act! The evolution of language is a tragedy.

      Oct 31, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.10   Wade bang

      Do we need a numpire?

      Oct 31, 2009 at 6:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.11   park rose

      I don’t know what you’re refereeing to, Wade ;)

      Oct 31, 2009 at 8:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.12   Wade bang

      I say enouf is enouf! “Gh” is a gost of the past! I am throu with it!!

      Oct 31, 2009 at 9:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.13   park rose

      You made me lau! Or I guess, lauf, would follow your logic (not getting into the ‘au’).

      I’m sure you’re all familiar with the Ghoti fish, but I’ll link to it anyway.

      Nov 1, 2009 at 4:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   angela

    I don’t understand what’s so bad about taking half a donut?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   bcteagirl

      Because no one knows if you have just bitten off half, ripped it apart with you H1N1 infested non-washed after the bathroom hands or what. Same reason you wouldn’t want someone who might be perfectly healthy coughing on your phone randomly.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   pony girl

    All of these notes, all of these situations.
    It’s as if none of these people ever went to kindergarten.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Canthz_B bang

      Worse, it’s as if they’ve never left kindergarten.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 11:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   EdGuth

    Wasn’t there an oh-so-casual sexism tag at one point?

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Critical Grass bang

      Yes.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 7:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   pony girl

    Any man who ‘nibbles’ half a donut can justly be called ‘girlfriend.’

    Just sayin’.

    (Not that there’s anything wrong with it.)

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Critical Grass bang

    A poet once said: doing things half ways is my way of finishing them.

    Maybe our half-donut bandit is just embracing a new life philosophy.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   bibberly

    At my old job, people would take a QUARTER of a doughnut. Then when I took a whole doughnut, this one woman would say:
    “Oooh, I’d like to eat a whole doughnut, but I actually care about getting fat, so I won’t.”
    She also happened to walk through the break room most days when I was eating my lunch and say something similar. “That smells so good, I wish I could eat some. It must be nice to not care about being fat.”
    For the record, I am fat, but she was fatter.

    Oct 29, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   agirlie

      LOL, seriously!!!!! Funny.

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   bcteagirl

      That is when you break out the ‘Really, I would never have been able to tell that!’ or some other even wittier comment…

      Oct 29, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.3   Phalange

      That’s when you challenge her to a sumo wrestling match.

      Oct 30, 2009 at 8:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   OhLawdy bang

    You know what you are, Only Eats Half of a Donut Person? YOU’RE A QUITTER. THAT’S WHAT YOU ARE.

    And there’s no room for quitters, here.

    Nor is there room for your closet fat ass.

    Nov 2, 2009 at 11:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Jeff G

    What does it mean if I’m a guy and I eat half a donut after having already eaten, say, for example, 3 others (thus 3.5 donuts total)?

    Should just down that 4th?

    Really? What if I’m totally stuffed, and I know I shouldn’t have even started the 4th, but it’s too late, now I’ve done it, but I really really can’t eat that last bit cuz I already had 3 donuts and I was actually not-at-all hungry when I had the 1st it was purely complusive, reflex greed, but now I’ve started that 4th and my whole body is screaming ‘no! no! stop, you can’t take any more!’ so to avoid puking or something equally gross, put down that last 1/2 a donut? What about that?

    Thank you for your polite replies.

    Nov 5, 2009 at 1:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   mamason bang

      Jeff,

      I think the answer is obvious and twofold much like your stomach.

      You’re gay and you’re fat. *not that there’s anything wrong with that*

      You’re welcome.

      Nov 5, 2009 at 2:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   Nobody

    Some people order a Whopper with cheese meal and a diet coke not because they are concerned about eating healthy but because they are diabetic and cannot have the sugar in regular coke!

    Nov 6, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   Chiara

    But half a doughnut IS better than a full doughnut!! It’s half the calories of a full doughnut. And if you know how many calories you’re allowed in a day, it is possible that this is a very reasonable compromise.

    And similarly the diet coke thing- the burger isn’t good but you might as well not add to it by having a lot of coke.

    Nov 14, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   sjank1

    Yes take the whole donut… throw the rest away if you do not want it…. but I do not want your damn leftovers that you probably did not use a knife to cut.

    Nov 27, 2009 at 11:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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