Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”
related: a substance user and a player!
328 responses so far ↓
#1
jbles
Sounds like Utah.
Nov 1, 2009 at 4:52 pm rating: +59
#2
Tasha
I bet those roommates strained to hear the sounds of love through the walls.
Nov 1, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +83
#3
leftfoot
Wow. “Neighborhood Watch” has a whole new meaning in Provo I take it. Screw looking out for crime, they are looking out for screwing.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:01 pm rating: +90
#4
Wade
I’m not so sure King Henry would be sympathetic to the note writer’s plaint.
King Henry the Eighth, to six wives he was wedded:
One died, one survived, two divorced, two beheaded.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:02 pm rating: +57
#5
Schroduck
Hey, I studied the Tudors! If you disapprove of sex, King Henry really isn’t the guy to go to.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:02 pm rating: +44
#6
Andre
That is…well, it’s gorram creepy is what it is.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:04 pm rating: +12
#7
Annie
Welcome to Mormon Utah.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:05 pm rating: +15
#8
Critical Grass
I wonder if that letter had something to do with Liz getting married…
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:10 pm rating: +1
#9
Robin
Let me get this straight.
The woman who got this note MARRIED the person who wrote it? Was the invitation to total subjugation just too much to resist?
If I got this note, I’d run for the hills. How completely creepy that anonymous men think they have the right to comment on a woman’s behavior.
Ew. That’s all I can say. Ew.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:14 pm rating: +3
#10
UnclGhost
Innappropriate? Meaning it would be appropriate at an inn?
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:18 pm rating: +17
#11
Me
I guess it’s creepy, but it’s Utah, so whatever. My reaction to this was totally “Awww… What a great thing to have framed in your (marital) home! I wish I had a memento like that!”
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: +40
#12
Palomon
I get that the gal receiving the note married the guy mentioned.
I get that the person who wrote it (looks like girls’ handwriting) is off her gourd.
Who or what is King Henry? is it a hotel? A church? Strip club?
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:46 pm rating: +4
#13
bellybionic
I would be a lot more shocked by this note if I wasn’t from Utah. It really could have been so much worse.
Nov 1, 2009 at 5:54 pm rating: +10
#14
Narwhal
Seriously?
How young must they be? “boys”
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:00 pm rating: +2
#15
Maas
I take it she’s aiming for the word “obvious”, but I read, “it’s devious that you sleep over there b/c your car is parked at King Henry all night”. Also, in a letter, isn’t is quicker to write “at” than “@” as well as using about the same amount of space and ink)?
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:05 pm rating: +7
#16
Stephanie
Why are they complaining? She’s coming back regularly, imagine if they caught someone having a one night stand? They belt her with bibles ’til she was bloodied.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:07 pm rating: +15
#17
diana
Oh yeah, it is the LDS sisters patrol trying to save poor Liz from ruins. A little talking to would definitely be the mormon obligation.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:13 pm rating: +11
#18
ClearlyDemented
But it’s not inappropriate to point out what you feel is some stranger’s inappropriateness, when they obviously don’t feel the same? I don’t care what the experts say, religious women have balls.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:19 pm rating: +14
#19
Neeners
Total obsessed stalker here. So repressed she (assuming it’s a chick, even Mormon guys give each other kudos right – nobody’s perfect) has her binoculars trained on that car several times a night and possibly a video cam set up.
“Ummm, you don’t know me but I have been watching your every move. I noticed where you go, into that man’s apartment. After scaling the wall several times and peeking through the crack in the curtains, although I haven’t really seen anything, I must confess, I am sure you have given your ‘precious gift’ away. I don’t want to say anything about your problem but you really should fix it.”
How about seeing a freaking mental health professional freak. It’s nunya biznatch!!!!
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:22 pm rating: +34
#20
Neeners
She and her roommates are just jealous they aren’t getting any. They must wait for their missionaries to return home and marry them before they do ‘the nastay’. More often than not though this is NOT the case. Most everyone is working it people behind closed doors. Don’t lie to yourself miss note writer.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:26 pm rating: +7
#21
Critical Grass
After that note Liz should have let the blinds open. Just for kicks, you know.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:26 pm rating: +22
#22
Sara
Well, she does show some insight near the end, saying she feels like she should talk to someone about this problem – I’m assuming she means seeking professional help for her *stalking* problem, and not the problem that she doesn’t agree with decisions made by total strangers who happen to reside in proximity to her.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:29 pm rating: +4
#23
Nylund
Obviously, the lesson learned is that in Utah, right after you finish doing the deed, the proper thing to do is hand the girl her stuff and tell her to out immediately. Its the classy thing to do.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:31 pm rating: +38
#24
G
I was impressed that there was a whole set of roommates so repressed, immature, and morally outraged by this behavior (not just one loony, but several!)
I suppose the “Utah” bit does go to explain it somewhat, but even so. One loony can generally be explained by the Loony Conservation Principle (“there’s always one, isn’t there”) but generally that loony is merely tolerated by those nearby–if that.
To find a nest of them, all in agreement no less, seems more like a Steve Irwin escapade.
Nov 1, 2009 at 6:42 pm rating: +11
#25
kalieris
*Crosses Utah off the list of places I am ever going to live. Ever.*
Nov 1, 2009 at 7:06 pm rating: +34
#26
Chinchillazilla
“I can’t help but notice you’re a whore. Cut it out or I’ll wear your face.”
Nov 1, 2009 at 7:31 pm rating: +24
#27
Don Gwinn
I’m not buying the “roommates” claim, actually. Notice how she crossed out “I” right before “my roommates and I”? She just thought it sounded less crazy if she had some public opinion on her side.
Nov 1, 2009 at 7:54 pm rating: +23
#28
Woman on the Verge
I have to say, I think you are all missing the point. It isn’t the sweet illicit sex that they object to. It’s parking overnight in the King Henry Lot without the appropriate parking permit. Damn parking lot monitoring Mormons.
Nov 1, 2009 at 8:02 pm rating: +41
#29
Wade
Then again, perhaps we should take the PAN Goddess’ lead and look to another Henry:
Nov 1, 2009 at 8:24 pm rating: +24
#30
JetJackson
God Bless Utah!
If it wasn’t for rebellious morman girls with a need to liberate themselves from the religion they were indoctrinated with… well I would have had a lot less fun on my gap year.
Nov 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm rating: +19
#31
gat
And this, my friends, is why I only lived in Provo for 3 months.
Nov 1, 2009 at 9:39 pm rating: +3
#32
Me
Reading this entry and the comments is so much fun when you’re a Jack Mormon.
Nov 1, 2009 at 10:29 pm rating: +4
#33
aaa
No, no it isn’t any of your business. Now go choke and die while I fuck my boyfriend.
Nov 1, 2009 at 10:51 pm rating: +4
#34
Adam
This is what you get for living in a monarchy.
Nov 1, 2009 at 11:00 pm rating: +7
#35
pony girl
I found a note on my windshield once (wish I’d kept it) but I knew who the note was from, so I was able to leave her a note.
In this situation in Utah. I would put a big ass sign in my dash everytime I parked there. Something along the lines of “mind your own fking business”
Not witty, but succint.
ps-the note i got was from a woman who had a problem with my parking in front of her house. (on a public street) had a standing appointment, and parked there for 2 hours once a week.
well actually, parked on her street. only parked in front of her house a few times. (until I got the note, then I made a point to park there, even when I was able to find a spot closer)
Nov 1, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: +11
#36
Havingfitz
What I would have done after receiving is have one of my male friends show up in glittery make-up and hot-pink tights and spend the night. Maybe I’d pay him a bit extra to knock on nosy-neighbor’s door ask ask if “they’d be darlings and lend him some whipped cream. Silly little me, walked right out without it.”
Nov 1, 2009 at 11:19 pm rating: +18
#37
Canthz_B
Wow, try to be a good supportive Mormon fiancé, stay up all night helping your husband-to-be study so you can get married after he graduates and some nosy prude with her mind in the gutter labels you a slut.
I’ll bet the note writer has since moved to Promontory because of the excellent view.
Nov 1, 2009 at 11:40 pm rating: +20
#38
Canthz_B
I like how Gladys Kravitz here just happens to be up late at night to see (watch) this woman go to apt. 306, then up bright and early enough to just happen to sometimes (if you’d just leave at the same time every day, she’d know exactly when to press her nose to her window pane) see her coming out in the morning.
I mean, talk about nutty coincidences!
Nov 1, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: +6
#39
Canthz_B
I think this was a completely appropriate note for the writer to leave.
This is exactly the point of view that should be encouraged in 12 year-old girls.
“Staying @ a boy’s house all night is inappropriate, Sweetie. That’s Daddy’s good girl. Save it for after the honeymoon so Daddy can supervise!!”
Nov 2, 2009 at 12:07 am rating: +5
#40
Grace
That is priceless! Classic Utah Mormon crap!
My sister went to BYU, and I intentionally went to Utah State to avoid the Provo madness, but this is pretty typical for Utah Mormons. I’m so, so, so, so happy that I don’t live in Utah anymore!
Although I have to admit that one of my former roommates would definitely have done something like this! LOL
Nov 2, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: +3
#41
Autumn
We all sign a honor code at BYU and you have to live in BYU contracted housing to be a BYU student. When we do that we acknowledge our school standing as well as others can be effected by our willingness to maintain our housing contracts that follow the BYU honor code. I wouldn’t go out of my way to leave the note if they weren’t my room mates…but I’ve had this situation with my room mates and I definitely reported them because it was selfish of them and putting my schooling at stake.
Nov 2, 2009 at 1:07 am rating: +2
#42
GK
Henry VIII isn’t the person to go to for advice on sex. We’re talking about a man who kept cutting his wives’ heads off, which, as any schoolboy can tell you, is not how babies are made. I blame Shakespeare.
Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads. Take it in what sense thou wilt.
Nov 2, 2009 at 3:48 am rating: +6
#43
Susannie
Have a great Pay! Hehe…
Nov 2, 2009 at 6:11 am rating: 0
#44
MN
I wish I’d gotten a note like this when I was dating my husband. I would have started leaving condom wrappers and flyers for sex shops everywhere.
Nov 2, 2009 at 6:18 am rating: +3
#45
Michelle
As a lifetime resident of Utah I must say that is not an “only in Utah” note, but an “only in Provo” note.
Nov 2, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: +7
#46
zerodark
Note to self: Do not read inane comments again.
Nov 2, 2009 at 8:27 am rating: 0
#47
jaywalke
When I lived in Boise (which has a very large Moroni-worshipping population) with a buddy of mine, we had them ringing the doorbell weekly. At first it was young couples, but as soon as they figured out that two unmarried men lived in that apartment, the tactics changed. We got weekly visits from very young (18 and some who looked younger), pretty blonde girls in short skirts. It was double-creepy.
Nov 2, 2009 at 9:22 am rating: +16
#48
farcical aquatic ceremony
from the BYU Honor Code website, for reals–
FAQ: What is the process for obtaining a beard waiver?
I wonder whether there are any bikini wax provisions in the code…I’ll check under
part V(d)5l.ut
Nov 2, 2009 at 9:45 am rating: +14
#49
farcical aquatic ceremony
“Visiting hours may begin after 9:00 a.m. and extend until 12:00 midnight.”
“Visitors of the opposite sex are permitted in living rooms and kitchens but not in the bedrooms in off-campus living units. ”
And the clever girl returned from her 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. visits with a cat-that-got-the-cream grin, having adhered to the letter of the law with only a few strange markings stamped onto her butt–”NEVO”, “FFO\NO REWOP RCV”–to tell the tale.
Nov 2, 2009 at 9:57 am rating: +7
#50
Diane
Not everyone in Utah is a Mormon. I didn’t even think about this being written by a Mormon until the Mormon guy brought it up and got all hostile about it. I’m not Mormon, but I have Mormon friends who are all really nice and cool, so I don’t know where the negative stereotype comes from.
Nov 2, 2009 at 1:50 pm rating: +2
#51
Angie
Anyone bitching about people picking on mormons needs to stfu. Regardless of their religion or where they are from, they need to learn not to stick their high-and-mighty noses where they don’t belong. PERIOD.
Nov 2, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: +4
#52
Critical Grass
I think the secret to achieve World Peace is everybody minding their own damn business.
In other words: Let your neighbour get some!
Nov 2, 2009 at 4:22 pm rating: +8
#53
Chip
Fuck mormons and fuck people that believe in any stupid fucking fairy tales like that. I could see Baptists in Texas doing the same thing. The type of faith doesn’t matter, they’re all fucking retarded.
Nov 2, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: +4
#54
JetJackson
This post is going gangbusters. You write something controvertial about mormons and all of a sudden they flood the site. I bet they are handing out “Boycott PAN” flyers at BYU right now. Well maybe not right now because it is 7:40pm and that means only just over 4 more hours before plutonic visits are over and we wouldn’t want to break the honour code.
Meanwhile I am going to start up an anti-mormon blog and cash in on all the hate traffic that I get.
Nov 2, 2009 at 8:49 pm rating: +3
#55
Audrey
I went to BYU and I wish wish wish I would have saved the copious number of notes I received that were nearly identical to this one. Yes, it is hilarious. Mormons are generally ridiculous, especially the culture down in Provo.
That being said, I haven’t been Mormon in a long time, and I’ll be the first to criticize, but Chip? C’mon. Get some anger management or something. They convert your sister or something? Jesus! Let people be.
Nov 2, 2009 at 9:07 pm rating: +6
#56
Allen
I can’t believe anyone is such a racist they are demoralizing the flying spaghetti monster. The flying spaghetti monster has never given anyone grief over the sleep overs. Just because the person noted the apartments where the spaghetti monster lives is no reason to drawn unfounded conclusions that the flying spaghetti monster wrote the note. No one has even proven that the flying spaghetti monster can even write. Further there is no tomato sauce stains on said note.
Personally, I think it is a frame up. Someone is trying to besmirch the flying spaghetti monster’s good name. I cannot believe anyone would stoop this low as to try to make the flying spaghetti monster look guilty of such aggressious actions.
In the words of Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?”
In the words of Snoop, “You gotta get your for I get mine”
In the words of Bill Clinton, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinski” (much)
In the words of the late Michael Jackson, “Billie Jean is not my lova”
In the words of the Flight of the Conchords, “it’s business, its business time”
In the words of Ronald Reagan, “I don’t recall”
Nov 2, 2009 at 9:36 pm rating: +9
#57
C
EW. She spent the night at this guys house and now she’s married to him? I doubt they got married in the temple!
Nov 2, 2009 at 9:50 pm rating: 0
#58
sexy_angelina
Wtf yes this is passive aggressive notes!
Nov 3, 2009 at 4:26 am rating: +1
#59
Jennifer
“Wide spacing between words- avoids people contact; has problems dealing with others.”
I looked up a handwriting analysis site, as I noticed how weirdly widely spaced the writing was. Makes sense!
Nov 3, 2009 at 7:28 am rating: +2
#60
Zina
I have a feeling I am about to step in it, since this is clearly mostly not a morality-friendly comment thread, and the tone is mostly mocking and glib, and sometimes also hostile. But I’m going to take a chance at learning from my mistake (of posting a serious comment on a humor site) since I’d like more balance to the oft-repeated assertion here that private morality has no effect on society or individuals.
First off, though, I completely agree that a note like the one left on the car is unhelpful, impolitic, intrusive, etc. I’m not defending the note.
I am however, disagreeing with comments saying that promiscuity and premarital sex are normal and harmless. Yes, they are common (and therefore normal in that sense,) but I think the longstanding prohibitions against them in most societies arise from the fact that they do damage to individuals and communities. While my main reasons for thinking this are a matter of faith (I’m a Mormon, a BYU graduate, and a faithful married woman,) there are also some rational evidences that this is the case.
When it comes to societies and communities, if the majority of people don’t follow laws and abide by contracts, then the rule of law and the stability of society falls apart. Of course there’s always a tension between how much societal, religious, and governmental intervention in a person’s life is too much, but if everyone only honors the laws they find fun and convenient, then none of us can expect to have our property protected from thieves, our walls protected from vandals, or our daughters protected from rapists. (And yes I recognize that all these things can and do happen, but so far in our society there is still usually legal recourse.) There is a popular modern consensus that practices of private morality don’t have any effect on others and therefore shouldn’t matter to anyone. But (and this isn’t necessarily provable, but it’s my opinion) if most of the members of a society flout all societal norms, in general that society will cease to be predictable, orderly, or safe, because individuals are unpredictable–no one will be able to trust anyone else. My sister heard an interview on NPR with a woman who’d worked for Enron and had been aware that most of the executives were involved in lots of extramarital hi-jinks, and she had thought their private lives didn’t pertain to their public lives–until the massive professional corruption there was exposed. Then, hearing the way the executives justified their actions, she couldn’t help coming to the conclusion that the habit of dishonesty and self-indulgence she’s seen manifested in the executives’ private lives influenced their professional lives; they believed they could flout the rules in any context, and that they were not responsible to maintain others’ trust. That attitude carried over into not caring about shareholders’ investments, and being willing and eager to make a lot of money illegally and at others’ expense.
Of course not every cheating spouse or experimenting single person is a tax cheat nor a corrupt executive, but I do think the habit of not feeling responsible to others, of not making or keeping commitments, or of lying and deceiving, all can and often do carry over into other aspects of a person’s life–to their own detriment, and to the detriment of those who trusted them.
As far as how morality affects individuals’ security and happiness, I’ve read that most people still say that they want to find lasting love. Most people want to get married, and many would like to have kids. For this comment, I’m not going to track down the sources, but I’ve read very well-referenced sources that offer these empirically-evidenced facts: People who are sexually active before marriage are less likely to stay married. People who divorce are less likely to be prosperous. Children in single-parent homes are far more likely to be abused. Obviously, all these trends affect society and not just individuals, but I think the most salient point for the happiness of individuals is that we’re happiest when we feel like we can know, love, and accept someone, and be known, loved, and accepted ourselves, completely. The best relationships require trust, and that trust is best developed within the explicit commitment of a marriage relationship, so if we want lasting love and happy, safe children, then chastity and fidelity give us our best chances. (They are of course not guarantees. But I think we owe it to ourselves to stack the deck in favor of our happiness.)
P.S. I collect malapropisms and creative spellings, and my two favorites in this thread were “blatantacy” and “plutonic.” Beautiful.
P.P.S. Maybe I’ll be spared from having stepped in it, since everyone’s already moved on from this post.
P.P.P.S. I’m not sure when the college years became (as several of you are asserting) a time to be free of all constraint and live a debauched lifestyle, but I think that’s a depressing viewpoint–it makes it sound like people in that stage of life are not important to society and nothing they do really matters. I prefer the old-fashioned notion that the college years are a valuable time to start building a good life.
Nov 3, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: +5