“After being kicked out of the apartment for numerous horrible acts,” says S. in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, “Our roommate for the summer sent us this with her last rent check…which was later edited a bit by one angry roommate.” S. leaves us to wonder exactly what kinds of “horrible acts” were committed by K., but I’m going to assume they were pretty “atroecious.”
related: the patron(izing) saint of roommates
90 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
I don’t think she has to pay for the futon whore unless she took her with when she moved.
Nov 8, 2009 at 6:56 pm rating: 62
#2
MissPA
It’s always nice when someone decides to be the bigger person, isn’t it?
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:01 pm rating: 8
#3
anglophile
But, yeah. Why should she have had to pay a last rent check? Don’t you pay rent forward?
I’m kinda on the note-writer’s side, mostly because I found the “edits” to be terribly unwitty.
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:07 pm rating: 69
#4
Fresca
I want to know who Gunner is, and what he ruined. If it included the futon whore….how much are those going for these days, anyway?
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:13 pm rating: 12
#5
MrMurakami
If I were S., I would demand that K. apologize better for the “things that are her fault,” like her lack of ability to recognize that being vague in your apology isn’t a good way to show you’re sorry.
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:24 pm rating: 12
#6
me
whoever submitted this entry probably has 3 “good” friends.
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:43 pm rating: 0
#7
Canthz_B
K,
Be realistic. You spent the Summer in Sioux Falls, SD.
You really think you needed any help having a shitty Summer?
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:45 pm rating: 29
#8
leftfoot
Sounds to me like K had a summer of love. Too bad the roommates don’t pull the stick out of their asses and instead insert a penis.
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:53 pm rating: 10
#9
Canthz_B
If K had been more sensitive, do you think she and Nate would have damaged the futon?
Or is that just the way K and Nate roll?
“You almost there, Baby?”
“No, Nate. I’m not that sensitive. Hit it harder, Baby! Hit it HARDER!!”
“Oh, shit! We just broke your roommate’s futon…”
“Who gives a shit? FUCK ME!!!
Don’t make me have to call Gunner in here…”
Nov 8, 2009 at 7:58 pm rating: 11
#10
Critical Grass
I can’t believe you made me pay
The whole rent when I’ve already gone away
Summer, shitty summer
Summer, shitty summer…
Nov 8, 2009 at 8:19 pm rating: 1
#11
Palomon
F**k your futon! You got too much money, Shitty roomate! You got too much money, Slutty Roomate!
Nov 8, 2009 at 8:23 pm rating: 1
#12
Havingfitz
It breaks your heart; so many young girls in SD forced into becoming Futon Whores. The ones that don’t become Sofa Sluts, or Laz-E-Boy Lushes. I think more people would be outraged by this, if they actually remembered or cared that SD is a state.
Nov 8, 2009 at 8:48 pm rating: 23
#13
Avi
Umm . . . Team No One.
Nov 8, 2009 at 9:06 pm rating: 4
#14
nigedo
Ah to be a student again. Best years of your life.
Nov 8, 2009 at 9:25 pm rating: 1
#15
Canthz_B
Just goes to show, you should never leave a PA note within reach of an English major with a 1.5 GPA and a set of colored markers at her disposal.
Nov 8, 2009 at 10:23 pm rating: 27
#16
tp
Both sides seem like pieces of work to me. I side with Sioux Falls – do they have to deal with retards like this invading their town every summer?!
Nov 8, 2009 at 10:32 pm rating: 5
#17
Adam
Didn’t feel like reading all that intro and writing, ill check it out at work.
This looks like a good one tho.
Nov 9, 2009 at 1:07 am rating: 0
#18
Geek Goddess
ARRRGHHHHH!!!!!
(gigglebrax fail)
Nov 9, 2009 at 1:14 am rating: 2
#19
park rose
I think it’s a top secret document drawn up by men who don’t mind standing fourteen hours a day in retaliation for hinted at, but unspecified, atroecious acts. I think they are planning an incursion, somewhere, which is of course, benevolently named, such as Operation Rainbow, or Operation let my Molten Lead Rain Down Gently on Your Head (You Know it’s Good for You). This is obvious, as Gunner is involved. The right to name the operation was won by means of a pillow fight.
Operation Futon Whore, or Futon War was decided upon. The man with the highlighter isn’t too hot at spelling, but his phonetics aren’t too bad (not great, mind you). He thought it sounded catchy:
Nick is responsible for the dirty slug bag, and the girls come with the bed roll.
Nov 9, 2009 at 2:04 am rating: 6
#20
Joe 2
RUN K., RUN!
The Heathers are after you!
“If children are our future, we’re in deep shit!”
Nov 9, 2009 at 8:44 am rating: 1
#21
Alicia
K. had sex with Nate on the futon, which undoubtedly belongs to the roommates. Probably left love stains all over it and grossed them out. Gunner is the dog.
Nov 9, 2009 at 12:05 pm rating: 2
#22
MM
I think you are all thinking WAY to hard about the edits. I don’t doodle, I edit stuff. And I never thought as deep about it as you guys are.
Nov 9, 2009 at 12:32 pm rating: 0
#23
aaa
Fifty bucks that S and the angry roommate sent the link to this post to K.
Nov 9, 2009 at 2:49 pm rating: 3
#24
jinx
The funniest thing about this note is it makes the remaining roomies look like HUGE douches. I love when people post PANs trying to making the PAN writer look bad and it ends doing the opposite. lol I love how someone wrote naughty language and one of the roomies called her a whore. I guess whore isn’t naughty? lol Team PAN writer.
Nov 9, 2009 at 4:18 pm rating: 11
#25
Cookie Monster
Hmmmmm I read this sooooo differently than everyone else.
I think the note-writer K is a bit of a loser. She did fucky times with Nate, got kicked out and wrote a shitty whiney apology letter. I bet she owes the rent too, contractually speaking.
The roomies got the note, edited it and basically made fun of her and posted it at their digs so THEIR friends could see the note and laugh at K. Doesn’t matter if K sees it, their friends will and laugh at K being called a dirty slut whore and being chastised (naughty, naughty).
I think the roomies are the smart ones here (in an acidic sort of way). I probably would have made the same comments!
Team Roomies here. I think K is a whiner. And the roomies just made fun of her note!
Nov 9, 2009 at 8:40 pm rating: 5
#26
KC Sunshine Band
This is so funny I forgot to post.
Nov 9, 2009 at 8:52 pm rating: 0
#27
Nikki
All of these comments are seriously making me giggle. “Futon whore” will now be added to my repertoire of insults.
I like the note writer.
But I have to give some props to the bitches who came up with “futon whore”. Silly bitches. Silly, funny bitches.
Nov 9, 2009 at 9:30 pm rating: 2
#28
zebra
If they signed a lease then legally she has to replace herself (find another roommate) or pay rent. The only exception is if they agreed otherwise.
So yes, she DOES have to pay rent. That’s the point of a signed contract.
Nov 11, 2009 at 11:44 am rating: 1
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