Loose lips shrink hips?

November 9th, 2009 · 272 comments

Our anonymous submitter from Herndon, Virginia and two of his friends — “all three of us on the large size” — were having lunch at a restaurant when a lady sitting nearby passed them this dear little note of encouragement.

Dear you! Excuse me 4 breaking in.  I'm sitting the next table to u.  My name is Angela.  I'm from Sofia, Bulgaria.  I'm Bulgarian, and American citizen too.  I gained 35 pounds since I got to the USA.  Please don't get hurt, but the (3) of U should loose weight.  I know it's hard.  It is certainly hard 4 me.  But U feel better afterwards, and validated and accomplished.  Best Angela

related: hey, fatty

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · culture clash · hey fatty · most popular notes of 2009 · unsolicited feedback


272 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mia

    Bwahahahahaha! This one is great!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:51 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Boomshine

      Damn Bulgarians coming in and telling us how to live our lives… The worst part of it all is that she ADMITS she also gained weight when she came into the country, and yet she’s telling others how to lose weight? Well if that ain’t the kettle calling the pot black… >_<

      Nov 10, 2009 at 4:35 am   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   One word... AMERICA!

      Im too tired to point out the obvious things wrong with your comment.

      Gotta go take an American sized dump anyways…

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:49 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   UViolet

      OMG!! How embarrassing. I am a Bulgarian and I would never tell that to my best friend… let alone strangers. If Angela wants to be STOOPID please don’t drag all of us (Bulgarians) in it :)

      Mad love to all “fluffy” girl and boys out there!
      I am fluffy too :)

      PS – Angela needs grammer lessons. At first I thought she broke in their apartment or something :)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 9:03 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Boomshine

      Sorry, upon looking back, I realize that comment sounded racist, and it wasn’t supposed to. I could’ve easily replaced “Bulgarian” with “non-American”, because all I meant to say was that she was from out of the country.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Buck

    Did she actually include her phone number? Man… that number would be on every bathroom wall I could possibly find. Heck, might even take out a few ads for this bitch too!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:51 pm   rating: 86  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Neeners

      Maybe she wanted to validate the ‘fatties’ with a little special exercise of her own.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Aren't You Glad You Have Vonage....Don't You Wish Everybody Did?

      703-371-0000 to 703-371-9999

      Lay ordinate and abscissa on the state…cut me an area code.

      Okay, shameless sampling of a masterpiece…on to the chase.

      There are 10,000 possible phone numbers our dear Angela could have.

      I know I’m curious…gee, I wonder how we could find the exact phone number.

      Time Remaining Considered as a Torus of Semi-Precious Dialing Stoners?
      (Send in the Bongs?)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 10:46 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   POW

      Prefix (703) 371- is primarily in Arlington, Virginia, and includes 3,547 phone numbers.

      Type:Mobile
      Company/Carrier:Sprint Spectrum L.p.

      Down to 3500, good luck!

      Nov 13, 2009 at 11:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Meredith

      Hell, I live near Arlington. I’ll knock on doors.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   leftfoot

    “Hey fat Americans. If you didn’t eat so much food the rest of the world would have some and people like me wouldn’t barge into your lunch uninvited.”

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 116  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      Americans typically eat like birds.

      Huge, sky-blackening flocks of voracious birds, but birds nonetheless.

      Pass the rolls before I bite your arm!!

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 182  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   One word... AMERICA!

      Ive been doing some thinking, and whoever that quote came from is absolutely right! C’mon folks, lets box up that leftover meatloaf, pitch in that uneaten hamburger, and god damnit… YAH, slap in some Bonbons for that REAL American spirit. Then send these filthy scraps weve been “wasting” all this time over to those incredibly hungry people I always hear about! And they WILL without a shadow of a doubt, be thankful for those half-eaten morsels. Thanks for your time… American bretheren.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   One word... AMERICA!

      Damn bros, I hear an eagle soaring through the sky. Its cry pierces through my soul, so powerful.

      Anyone wanna borrow my American Flag tee?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Car RamRod

      Or…. those starving people could get off their ass and develop their own agricultural system. If they live in an arid country, they could figure out something they could make that they rest of the world would be willing to trade for food. Instead, they hack each others’ arms off with machetes and wait for handouts. America didn’t have anything handed to it. We had to rape and pillage the Indians to get this ripe and fertile land. Then we actually made something out of it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:37 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   One word... AMERICA!

      WHOA, your American vibe is sending shivers down my pariotic spine!

      I need to fire a weapon, and now!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   mamason bang

      Starving people are too tired to do all of that… from the starvation. You know?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Canthz_B bang

      Um, no. The Irish, the Blacks and the Chinese made something out of it. ;-)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   UViolet

      Car RamRod , generally I agree with most comments but you should get some info before going off on what Bulgarians have or don’t have.

      We got agricultural system. We gave the World yogurt – the bacteria is named after us “Lactobacillus Bulgaricus”. Looks like EVERYBODY bought that one. We have soccer players, gymnastics and wrestling instructors hired all over the World. Our wines and cheese are being sold all over Europe. I’ve seen it here in the US as well.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 9:17 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Meh bang

      Ummm pretty sure he wasn’t talking about Bulgaria.

      Nov 12, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   Kiba

      Hey Bitch! If you spend less time talking shit about america and more time getting your head out your ass you would learn how to grow your own damn food. Don’t get pissed cause our country can’t solve everyones problems while others point and talk smack.
      Sincerely,
      The Greatest Fucking Country,
      The Red, White, and Blue,
      America.

      Thank you!

      Nov 29, 2009 at 9:51 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   Canthz_B bang

      Kiba, you’re not helping.

      Maybe if you were to spend more time on your vocabulary it would be time well spent…?

      For now, please confine yourself to mindless chanting of “U-S-A!…U-S-A!…U-S-A!…” and leave the driving to us.

      Nov 29, 2009 at 10:46 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   adamchanty

    Oh Hell No Bitch!
    You better lick some balls!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Leasyon

      Possibly the most awesomest comment I’ve seen in a while.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 11:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   One word... AMERICA!

      Brah, watch the grammar.. Not cute with the failing brain writing style.

      Funny to see balls are what get you going tho!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   mamason bang

      I thought balls were what got all of us going.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   One word... AMERICA!

      I like the play on my sentence. American is how I see it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   pony girl

      OwA:
      If I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Palomon bang

      Why, Dorothy, you’ve had a dick the whole while.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   pony girl

      Oh.
      So battery-operated ones count.
      Didn’t realize.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:22 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Canthz_B bang

      adamchanty needs to join a more affluent Country Club.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   infant tyrone bang

      Or borrow Lewis Black’s personal ball washer?

      Nov 14, 2009 at 12:20 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Alien Guardian

    What a bitch.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   tomiddes

    bless her heart…

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 83  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Who cares about feeling healthier when one can feel validated?
    Just think how proud Angela will be when you drop a few pounds.
    She’ll probably “validate” the crap out of you!

    Once you go Bulgarian, you’ll never need a whore again!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 8:59 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   fan bang

      yes, but how will you feel about yourself afterwoords? Cheap,that’s how you would feel. Like a Bulgarian whore.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:45 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   mamason bang

      I love Bulgarian waffles.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Car RamRod

      Bulgaria sounds like an awesome place. Check out some excerpts from a travel guide I found.

      “You can get a beer for 50 cents, a bottle of good wine for $3.60, and a large pizza for $2.70. Bring an empty suitcase, and you can stock up on “replica” designer clothes.”

      “Prostitution is legal, by the way. At Golden Sands, Bulgaria’s second-largest resort, prostitutes openly tout for business. They only approach single men, or groups of men, but it’s not what you expect from a family resort. They’re most active on the street that’s home to the Muppet Bar, Hotel Kamchia, and Bonkers Disco. ”

      Sounds like my kind of place. I’m gonna have to plan a vacation…

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Why did that movie “Hostel” suddenly pop into my mind.

      Nov 14, 2009 at 12:06 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Tara

    wow. that woulda been one dead beeyotch if that note woulda been passed to my fat self or any of my fat friends. especially if her hand came anywhere near my cheesecake.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:10 pm   rating: 112  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Critical Grass bang

    Who can feel any pain with all that fat to cushion the blow?
    She couldn’t hurt them, even if she tried.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:22 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   texas

    Yes Angela, it is hard. Thanks for noticing. Open your mouth wide you Bulgarian slut. Have a nice day.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:25 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    They must have been humiliated!
    Luckily, there was German Chocolate cake on the dessert menu or they may have made a scene.
    Instead, they just ate the pain away…as usual.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:27 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   AuntyBron

      Thats why they call it comfort food, baby.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   MOMMYDEAREST

      So I guess, in the mass-marrying I have planned, you won’t be jumping in on the band wagon, since I’m a big ol’girl?

      None of you want to marry a biggun?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Beanster

      i loves me some real woman mommydearest. however, the mass marriage will have to take place in canada or massechusettes, as i’m a lady.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   One word... AMERICA!

      Sometimes you just gotta throw a dog a bone eh?

      If your hubby is fat, your good to go. If not, he wasnt on travel…

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Canthz_B bang

      I like my women like my theater…in the round! ;-)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:35 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   KIRK

    She could lose an “o” while she at it. Nothing like a good ol’ misspelling while leaving a revengeful note, and making yourself look even more dumb.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:28 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Maas

      She’s already lost so many letters, I think she may have some sort of spelling disorder.

      It is, of course, a result of societal pressures that lead to such things. If people didn’t criticize her use of “o”s, she might not be afraid to spell out “for” and “you”. We as a society, nay, as the human race, must grow to accept the (over)use of “o”, and permit the constituent individuals to find for themselves a “natural spelling”.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:36 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      You should know, KIRK. 8-O

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Skoot

      “More dumb”?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 6:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Canthz_B bang

      As in “really quiet”?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:35 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   mamason bang

      I think we’ve been invaded by aliens from the planet Stupider.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Neeners

    Dear Angela,
    We are all so proud you were able to drop those unwanted pounds “sinse” moving here and stuffing your big fat Bulgarian face with American food. Is everyone in Bulgaria as rude and holier than thou as you are?

    Maybe “U” should take some English courses at the local community college to help make yourself look more accomplished and to help you stop using numbers for words. “Afterwoords” you will feel so much more validated for “loosing” your bad spelling habits.

    Best,
    The 3 fat guys who just knifed your tires!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:33 pm   rating: 98  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   spottedbuddy

      I didn’t think she was holier than thou; I thought she was selling one of those pathetic infomercial-pimped, useless weight loss aids, not that she’d have enough class and self-respect to admit it.
      She’s actually stupid enough to think people are going to think she is helping them – so to speak – out of the goodness of her heart, not for profit.

      But every other sentence in your comment is spot on regardless of her motivation.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:43 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Yeah but

    But seriously, folks. You’re too fat. It’s gross.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 72  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Critical Grass bang

      Yo momma!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 5:56 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah but, just take the other half of the donut, you know you want it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:01 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    If Angela was back in the old Bulgaria, she would have gone straight to the secret police with her concerns.
    Jenny Craig gives her fond memories of re-education camps.
    Nosy informers like her were the first to leave after the Communist regime fell.
    No one appreciates that all she does is done out of love.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Freddie

    Oh my god, thank heavens she mentioned it! How would they have ever known they were overweight otherwise??

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 75  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      I KNOW!!

      I wouldn’t know I’m skinny unless someone felt the need to tell me several times a month.

      Usually someone who could stand to lose a few offers such healthful advice as, “You need to eat more.” To which I dutifully reply, “You don’t.”

      Nov 9, 2009 at 9:53 pm   rating: 114  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   spottedbuddy

      #16.1 CanthzB: I used to have that problem. Try responding loudly, “You don’t hear me pointing out all of your physical defects, do you?”

      Not only do they immediately STFU, but everyone’s attention (including their own…) is now focused on their body and appearance, scrutinizing for every flaw, and they finally get to see how it feels.

      Adding a “Who taught you that that’s appropriate?” is guaranteed to prolong the reddened face and greatly increase the odds of that being the last time they ever comment on your body.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Canthz_B bang

      Well, if you want to show just as little class, I suppose that’s a way to go.

      I prefer short and sweet.
      Short strokes draw just as much blood, but draw less attention to the attacker.

      Tact.

      Besides, I have no physical defects. People come in all shapes and sizes.

      Thanks for the suggestion, forgive me if I don’t ever do such a low-class thing. ;-)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:27 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   mamason bang

      LMAO! Yeah, cuz CB always takes the high road! :lol:

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Canthz_B bang

      Why, mamason, how nice of you to notice!

      I have hit a few potholes on the high road (on my high horse) from time to time, but I try. I try. :-D

      Nov 11, 2009 at 1:19 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   mamason bang

      (((((((((((CB)))))))))))))

      I was totally flirting with you. ♥

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Neeners

    Not sure what “breaking in to U” is. Does that mean she broke wind ‘into’ them or something? How is that done? Or did she break something at their table, what?

    And what is hard, is it hard for her to keep her Bulgarian/American nose out of everyone’s business?

    Maybe she should write the next great American diet book? “How I lost pounds by hitting on American Men in Restaurants”

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Deb

    Totally hitting on you … that’s just how Bulgarians roll.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   jason

    She is not a bitch. If you are fat, you deserve to hear about it. She is the only one with the balls to do what non-fat people should be doing everywhere, all the time.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Freddie

      Cool, maybe some smart person will go out of his or her way to tell you what an idiot you are, then. I’m sure you won’t mind. That’s what non-idiots should be doing everywhere, all the time.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 9:51 pm   rating: 177  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   pope suburban

      Jason, when women won’t date you, it’s not because you’re too good-looking for them. It’s not that at all. Just sayin’.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 9:54 pm   rating: 128  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Silence

      So, people with good skin should also be telling people with acne about skin care, right? And people with money should be telling the poor about all the things they’re doing wrong, too.

      Someone seems to have missed that lesson in Kindergarten about the Golden Rule…

      Nov 9, 2009 at 9:56 pm   rating: 88  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Canthz_B bang

      All people, of all sizes need to go around giving unsolicited advice all the time.
      Sure, we’d need to beef up the staff at the morgue, but it’s all for the common good, right?

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Eccentric_Lady bang

      I think you might be on to something there!

      It’d be one way to weed out the idiots and take care of the overpopulation problem. LOL

      But I wonder, would some qualify for the Darwin Awards..?

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   Canthz_B bang

      Opinion.

      One of the few things a truly generous person should wait to have someone ask for.

      Deep, huh?

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:45 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   Palomon bang

      Hay, Jason, some musical questions…

      Are there any queers in the audience?
      Get ‘em up against the wall!
      …and there’s one smokin’ a joint! And there’s one with spots!
      If I had my way, I’d have all of you shot!
      Well, maybe not shot, but I’d be sure the gays and the drunks and the fatties and the non-Christians and Democrats and musicians would all get strongly worded notes pointing out the need for them to loose weight, sober up, “pray out the gay” vote for me and put down their guitars.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.8   aaa bang

      Jason, you seem like a very ugly person. And no, I’m not talking about your appearance.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:47 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.9   Canthz_B bang

      Damn. Soon they’ll be coming for the Blacks…again.

      Vouch for me, Jason, ok?…

      Yes, I’ll make some payments on your trailer…double-wide, right? Because you don’t go cheap.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.10   spottedbuddy

      Jason is one well-fed troll in this room tonight. At this rate, he’s well on his way to receiving one of PANBA (Passive Aggressive Notewriting Bulgarian-American)’s lovely disguised solicitations for her fake weight loss aid.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:59 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.11   GK bang

      And this week’s award for Pointlessly Irrelevant Interjection Of American Politics goes to… *drum roll* Palomon! Thanks for offering us your opinion, winner! We don’t care!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:17 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.12   Critical Grass bang

      @Jason, aren’t you Adam’s evil twin?

      @Palomon, please tell me you’re just kidding. Pleeeeaaaaase!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.13   park rose bang

      Of course he is (I think). And GK is being sea-curmudgeonly as usual. ;)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.14   Chicago Guy

      For those of you who were confused and/or outraged by Palomon’s comment, he’s quoting Pink Floyd (from “In The Flesh II”).

      Well done, sir!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 10:02 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.15   anglophile bang

      I figured he was quoting something, but knowing it was Pink Floyd :roll: makes it worse for me.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 10:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.16   Critical Grass bang

      If it’s Pink Floyd it makes his comment just as bad as if he was serious.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.17   Michelle S.

      No, no. Jason is right. Fat people can always lose weight. Like Angela, Jason is simply helping them by pointing it out.

      Unfortunately, morons like Jason and Angela can’t “gain brain” like fat people can lose weight. Because I’d like to help them both by telling them what fucking idiots they are.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.18   Anonymous Public

      @ 19.3/Silence.

      YES, they should be. People with money should lecture bums on fiscal policy. I myself am not completely wealthy, but considerded wealthy for a single person and I take a few minutes out of my day as an act of charity and give lessons to homeless people when they ask for $. Whether they actually listen or not is not my concern.

      In fact, i’ll lecture anyone with less money than me, but ONLY if they complain about money or ask for any (opt-in marketing, if you will)

      Also, i’m in great shape (as it turns out, I’m pretty similar to Patrick Bateman, who most of you envy i’m sure) and i’ll lecture anyone with less than me.

      I guess when it comes down to being nice vs. improving the world, I take on the former responsiblity, which is actually less pleasant most of the time.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.19   Palomon bang

      Chicago Guy, you’re awwright.
      CG, you’re an instigator. And therefore, awwright.
      Anglophile, you’re fabulous.
      When the revolution comes, I’ll see that you’re spared.
      Michelle S- you crystalized my thoughts. Perhaps more prosaic than my attempt, but far more accurately, it seems.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.20   Palomon bang

      I assume Park Rose is talking about me (it’d be correct) and not about the evil twin thing. Notice how I deftly avoid naming trolls?
      God I’m good. Keep getting notes about that when I dine out.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.21   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, Jason. As a non-fat person, I don’t feel any obligation to go around telling people whom I deem overweight that THEY should conform to MY taste.

      I guess I just don’t have the stomach for it. ;-)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 1:26 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.22   Anonymous Public

      @Canthz-

      Your choosing not to doesn’t mean it’s wrong that others do.

      This sites comments suffer from many many logical fallacies…all while those commenting think they’re really funny.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 8:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.23   Neeners

      Jason, you and Angela sound perfect for each other. You should call that number. Your both probably svelte but have fat heads.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Silence

    Dear Angela,

    Are you sure you aren’t from…Hungary?!

    Ow!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:53 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Canthz_B bang

      She lost the weight. She used to eat like she was from Greece, but now eats like she’s from Turkey.
      She still allows herself the occasional chocolate Malta though, it’s very Liberiating.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:30 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Palomon bang

      Nothin’ like a well made Monte Cristo, washed down with a Cape Cod…oh, forget it, you took all the good ones.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:12 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Palomon bang

      Wait, wait wait! Bulgeria! Get it? BULGE-eria?
      Christ, I gotta let this one go.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   Canthz_B bang

      Chill. Just have a Long Island Iced Tea or an Alabama Slammer and let it all wash away while you cruise the roads in your Monte Carlo.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   spottedbuddy

      Baked Alaska, anyone?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   mamason bang

      Only if it’s served on fine China!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:26 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   Palomon bang

      Dammit!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:49 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   JetJackson

    Welcome to America… Those 35 pounds are a condition of your citizenship. Lose them = lose green card.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 9:53 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   AuntyBron

      Well of course she gained weight when she moved to the US. It’s the land of milk and honey – what did she expect?

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Canthz_B bang

      That’s “the land of bilking money”.

      Something was lost in the translation years ago and now we’re stuck with it!

      Just like “The streets are paved with gold.” was supposed to be “The streets are grave and cold.” :-P

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   park rose

    I think Angela included her number because she has some Herbalife she wants to sell them.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 10:01 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   JetJackson

      Or those bloody Acai berries!

      Nov 9, 2009 at 10:19 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Ethel

      I was just thinking that! It’s like those posters/t-shirts sometimes seen in my town: “Lose weight now, ask me how!”

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   anglophile bang

      Do you have those horrible Herbalife people in Japan, too, rose? I guess nowhere’s safe.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   park rose bang

      Not sure, ‘glo, but they and their shakers are as ubiquitous as the Mormons, MacDonald’s, Amway salespeople (just another form of evangelism) in Australia.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, they’re everywhere!

      And Ethel @ 22.2, they translate that slogan to every language. It’s a shame it doesn’t rhyme in portuguese, though…

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   notolaf

    Oh well, at least they didn’t have to listen to someone telling them that their infertility troubles were due to their lack of faith or that it was their moral obligation to adopt or rubbing their pregnant belly all over them.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   pony girl

      Oh, I feel for you, sweetie.
      And then, the bonus. Apparently, I am not a real adult, because I haven’t had children.

      I’ve heard the faith one, way too many times. Now I just look at them and say, I have plenty of faith, God just hates me.
      and walk away. They usually drop it after that.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:05 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Palomon bang

      God hates us, everyone!
      Merry Christmas!
      To celebrate the brith of our lord and humanity’s re-birth in the glow of a new covenant, we went out and killed a tree.
      PG- have kids or don’t have kids, just don’t be a Great Aunt!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Johanna in exile

      *high fives other infertile types* Yeah, I have heard it all over and over and over.. don’t forget this one

      *So and so went on vacation and got pregnant
      *You just need to relax

      Actually, come to think of it – a lot of people try to get me on the stressed out angle. I would be a lot less stressed out if random people would stop giving advice all the time. And since when are people who get pregnant paragons of relaxation??

      Also, do pregnant women also get random letters from once-fat women in Bulgeria?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:26 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Canthz_B bang

      Relaxation dosn’t result in pregnancy.

      I used to tell girls all the time to just relax…or the ropes would tighten ’round their necks.
      They all relaxed, none got pregnant, and the DA could never get past sexual assault to an attempted murder charge!

      *dont hit subm

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Palomon bang

      Sorry, but relaxing does get you knocked up.

      RELAX! We don’t need a condom.
      RELAX! You can’t get pregnant your first time.
      RELAX! You have to be on bottom to get pregnant.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:44 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   Canthz_B bang

      RELAX! Just douche with 7-up afterwards.

      The un-conception! AH-HAHAHAAA!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:05 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Silence

      Those of us who don’t want kids get it, too. I’m 30 and have no plans for babies, and get so many nasty looks…

      Obviously, my desire to be childless stems from a bad childhood of my own, a lack of femininity, a mean streak, or because I’m selfish and career-driven.

      It’s awesome.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:03 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   Canthz_B bang

      Silence, you are so awesome and hot! Will you have my child? :-)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:00 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   Critical Grass bang

      Nah, I prefer to babysit now and then… When the kid is not yours you can return them when they get annoying.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:42 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   T.U.M.

      Sad as it is, I was actually glad when I lost my ovaries to cancer because I no longer had to justify my choice of childlessness to the world.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   mamason bang

      Yay, cancer!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.12   Palomon bang

      I lost a lot of weight when I got cancer.
      You should get some, Angela!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:57 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.13   Silence

      Canthz, I will gladly bear your offspring as long as you understand that, because I’m obviously a child-hating succubus, I will likely eat them post-delivery.

      Y’know, like hamsters sometimes do.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 1:48 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.14   GK bang

      Mamason, I think we can all appreciate the healing power of cancer!

      Dear Santa,

      Please let us have a full-scale invasion of “babyfree” demagogues on PAN for Christmas. The babyfrees we have are too calm and not mouthy enough. I think you’ll find I’ve been extra-good all year long!

      Please find enclosed a small “donation” to encourage good service.

      Nov 12, 2009 at 3:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.15   Canthz_B bang

      Silence, as long as you share.
      No need to eat alone, the kid’s half mine anyway! ;-)

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Rappenwolf

    My fave response to “well-wishers”: I’m not here to decorate your world. Especially Bulgaria, I guess.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   mamason bang

      While dining out with a larger friend, a man approached our table and asked her if she really thought she should eat “all of that”. She looked down at her plate and then back to her new diet coach. I was just about to say something, anything, when she said, “You’re right! I don’t need to eat this,” as she stood and mashed the plate right in his stupid face! She still describes it as a very satisfying meal!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:34 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Adam

    She should just get business cards made up for her personal training business.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 11:01 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Critical Grass bang

      But I guess her clients feel more special when they receive a note like that written on a napkin(?). It’s just more personal that way. Angie has mad social skills. And I mean it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:30 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   tp

    I guess I am the only one on team Angela! I get a nice helpful kind of vibe from her. I know in Europe it is far more normal for people to be “ok” with telling others that they need to lose some damned weight. Why is it ok for people to tell thin people that they are too skinny and not ok to tell fat people to lose some frickin’ weight?

    Nov 9, 2009 at 11:03 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Canthz_B bang

      tp, word to the wise…it’s not ok to tell thin people that we are too skinny.
      I swear, next time someone feels that need I’m going to say, “Yeah, the cancer is back.”

      When we want your opinion, we’ll beat it out of you with a 2×4!

      And outlive you just for spite!

      Do we come up to you and tell you you’re too ugly? NO!!

      But, to answer your question…it’s none of your damned business! That’s why it’s not ok.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:24 pm   rating: 77  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   pony girl

      Uh, no.
      People will tell their friends, or acquaintances. They don’t just go around telling strangers in sidewalk cafes to lose weight.
      They mind their own business.
      And since when is it okay to tell skinny people they’re skinny?
      It’s never okay to tell strangers those sorts of things.
      I get SO tired of women coming up to me when I’m out and about, trying to find some ‘tactful’ way of telling me that my nipples are hard.
      As if I don’t know? What do you think? That I left my baby on the bus or something?
      That’s just how they are, just deal with it. I don’t go around telling them how they should Seriously avoid sleeveless tops or that they need to eat a sandwich or join a gym or get a new colorist or something.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:39 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   pony girl

      …the cancer is back…

      I gotta say that the next time someone tells my friend Jax she’s too skinny. She just smiles and mutters something under her breath. I can’t wait.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   Canthz_B bang

      PG, I know what she mutters, but this is a fucking family website! ;-)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:28 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   Palomon bang

      Yes, people do things differently in places where they scrimp and save or risk their lives to leave. And come to places like the US.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.6   aaa bang

      It’s not okay to tell thin people they’re too skinny. It’s just as fucking rude as what this Angela person did.

      I would ask since when people actually started giving a shit about something as irrelevant as another person’s body, but then I’d have to smack myself in the face for asking such a stupid question.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.7   Canthz_B bang

      Palomon, when in Rome…

      The great thing (and one of the hardest) about moving to a country of immigrants is knowing what to bring and what to leave behind.

      One of our earliest mottoes was “Don’t Tread On Me”.
      If anyone wants to understand Americans, understand that.
      Understand that first and foremost the majority of Americans are individualists.

      Intrusiveness is not an American trait…at least not domestically! ;-)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.8   SG

      “Intrusiveness is not an American trait.”

      Are you kidding? Have you not read all the comments here from people who get intrusive comments about being too skinny, too fat, not able to get pregnant, etc.? Do you really think they all came from Bulgarians or Hungarians?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:09 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.9   Canthz_B bang

      SG, have you not noticed that those comments all say we do not appreciate the intrusion?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.10   mamason bang

      Intrusiveness is not an American trait unless you’re talking about the American Gov’t and that’s different!

      Me? I’m an Impositionist. Do you mind?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:01 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.11   Palomon bang

      Canthz B- my point exactly. And I choose to remain dubious regarding the notion that such a note would not be considered rude in any corner of the world.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.12   Canthz_B bang

      Palomon, that’s why good fences make good neighbors.
      I could go on and on about how Americans just don’t like anyone telling them how to live their lives (even if it means that they are allowed to put their very lives at risk…really, wear a helmet while driving your motorcycle!), but either the point is taken or it’s not.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.13   pony girl

      26.11-
      Can’t speak for the entire world, but I do know that it would be considered rude in Great Britain, Canada, Samoa, Tonga, Tahiti, Vanuatu, Tokelau, Cook Islands, Palau, and Switzerland.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:06 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.14   Canthz_B bang

      But not in France because, you know, the French are all as rude as all Americans are fat.

      God, I love stereotyping people! Can we play this game more often?

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:45 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.15   GK bang

      It wouldn’t matter in Australia, as they’re all too laid-back, and are in any case busy throwing another shrimp on the barbie down at the beach.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 5:37 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.16   JetJackson

      You mean it wouldn’t matter in Australia because the Bulgarian would still be locked up on Christmas Island.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 5:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.17   Canthz_B bang

      It wouldn’t matter in China because it has nothing to do with the price of tea in China.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 6:56 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.18   Canthz_B bang

      It wouldn’t matter in Israel because the note didn’t come with a $5.00 check.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 6:59 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.19   pony girl

      People in south Texas wouldn’t care, because they’d just be so happy that she’s a legal immigrant..
      People in west Texas wouldn’t care, they’d just think, ‘sweet, a free napkin.’
      People in east Texas wouldn’t care, because they wouldn’t be able to read the note…
      People in north Texas wouldn’t care, because they’d just be happy that she isn’t one of them ‘dang Okies.’
      And, lastly, people in Austin wouldn’t care, because they’re a bunch of tree-hugging, socialists who feel the need to tell everyone how to dress, what to eat, what to drive and how to care for their lawn.
      There.
      So, did I offend everyone yet??
      ;)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 8:10 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.20   pony girl

      wow, my comment is awaiting moderation.,
      sorry. i guess I’ve been naughty.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.21   Geek Goddess

      It wouldn’t matter in pony girl’s world because she does all things in moderation

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Canthz_B bang

    You vill lizzen to advize of Angela (Natasha) Fatale. If not, she vill haff Boris Badenov contact Fearless Leader for instructions on how to deal vith your bloated Vestern bodies!

    Vee haff vaze off makink you slim!!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 11:05 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Palomon bang

      Does anyone else think Angela should out making beeg trouble for moose and squirrel?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Silhouette

    Ang, we’re busy people here.

    To save time say, “Lose weight now. Ask me how. ”

    kthx bai.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 11:08 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Canthz_B bang

    Cool restaurant.

    Three fat guys can get an Eastern European call girl’s number…and one that validates parking to boot!!

    Nov 9, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   mamason bang

      “Three Fat Guys” is a great name for a restaurant.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:03 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Hailster

    this is simply a difference in culture and an awesome note. my good friend from Ecuador told me, after i lost about 10 – 15 pounds, ‘ oh you must have lost weight! you look so much better when you’re skinny! ‘ if i looked better bigger, she would have told me. its honesty with no negative intentions. [most] americans don’t get that.

    Nov 9, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   pony girl

      Difference:
      That was your friend, not a complete stranger.
      That was someone praising you after you lost the weight, not telling you to lose weight.

      The spelling and grammar etc., I give her a pass on that since obviously English is not her first language. Also, it could be that she was trying to sell some weight-loss products, and she didn’t know how to properly get that across (in English) in the note.

      Nov 9, 2009 at 11:59 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Canthz_B bang

      Difference:

      Compliment vs. Criticism.

      Notice that she DIDN’T tell you 10 or 15 lbs. earlier that you’d look better if you lost some weight.

      Tact.

      Oops…that’s what she said! :oops:

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   JetJackson

      “SLAP!”

      Edit: Just so we are clear… CB, that one was for you ;)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks. I needed that! :-P

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   Palomon bang

      Are you trying to tell me Angela is trying to say these folks look better compared to…some time she may imagine, beacuse THEY NEVER MET BEFORE!
      Nothing negative here, I’m just saying you looked adorable before your brains fell out.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   mamason bang

      “OMG! Deed jew loose weight?” 8-O

      “Why, yes I did! I did lose weight.” :-D

      “Eat’s about time cuz jew was lookin’ like uh beast when jew was so fat.” :-|

      “Oh. Thanks… I guess.” :oops:

      “WTF jew cryin’ for? Jeez! ” :-(

      “Why don’t you just go back to Equador, bitch.” :evil:

      This message has been brought to you by the Association Against Cultural Diversity

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   pony girl

      30.2, CB,

      Yeah, but yours is so nice and succinct.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.8   prairielily

      Yeah, that sounds awesome. I would have loved it if someone had told me that I looked better skinny last year when I was so sick I couldn’t keep any food down and my hair started falling out because I weighed less than 100 lbs.

      Seriously, people should keep comments about weight to themselves. You don’t know why the person is the weight that they are, or how they feel about it.

      Nov 13, 2009 at 12:53 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   JetJackson

    So it turns out the meaning of the name Angela is messenger stemming from Angel or Aggela so roughly meaning messenger of God.

    So in a way… God thinks you are fat.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Palomon bang

      God sees you when you’re eatin’
      Knows when you’re overweight…

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Critical Grass bang

      Actually, everybody knows when you’re overweight. So… Either God has a big mouth or Angela is forwarding the messages as those annoyng chain emails.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 6:20 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      That extra weight is from all the cokes God has been watching you steal.

      Nov 14, 2009 at 12:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   HugsandKisses101 bang

    Sorry, but I would want this kick-in-the-pants if I were ‘that fat’.

    America is ridiculous in its eating habits, and needs to realize this FACT.

    I am unclear why the last four digits of her phone # are missing. I’m thinking there was a face-to-face at the restaurant that led to the note being brought to our (the fatties’) attention….?

    Nov 10, 2009 at 12:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   JetJackson

      I believe they have been photoshopped out so she doesn’t get inundated with hate-calls from Team Fat3.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   aaa bang

      HugsandKisses101, I think this link might help you.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 12:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   Canthz_B bang

      HugsandKisses101, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!
      MY POLICE SCANNER TELLS ME THE IDIOT PATROL IS ONLY A FEW BLOCKS AWAY FROM YOU…AND CLOSING FAST!!!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:25 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.4   scamps

      I wanted to discuss how many overweight people are well aware of their situation, and that thin doesn’t always mean healthy, and that obtaining good health is more important than fitting into smaller clothes, and that overweight people need support and praise and acceptance, not shame and guilt. I was also going to explain how, while being overweight, I have perfect health, whereas my “normal-sized” husband has high cholesterol and is at risk for diabetes and heart problems.

      But all I could come out with was the constant desire to bang my head against a hard surface.

      You’ll get the repair bill for my keyboard in the next few days. And the bill for the ER visit. And the repair visit bill for my keybERddsfu8awsedihfd……

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:55 am   rating: 54  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.5   anglophile bang

      Holy shit, HugsandKisses101!

      Your comment made me look at myself and realize that somehow between last Tuesday and today, I have managed to become 113 pounds overweight! I guess I just wasn’t paying attention! Thank god you noticed for me!

      *goes off to order some Herbalife and acai berries*

      Idiot.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.6   mamason bang

      “Give me your tired, your poor,
      Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
      The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
      Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
      I lift my lamp beside the golden door” so I can see better to eat them! *burp*

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:33 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.7   fan bang

      I read that wrong. I thought it read,

      The wretched refuse of a steaming whore.

      Laughed my ass off.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 5:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   bowloftoast bang

    Given the context, I think we’re all pretty fortunate they didn’t eat the note.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 12:36 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Jonathan

    That Bulgarian was fucking delicious.

    Got another one?

    Nov 10, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Canthz_B bang

      Somehow, I doubt that you have. :-|

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   President Benson

    Dear Angela,

    Are you asking me out? But more importantly, are you done with that?

    Nov 10, 2009 at 1:33 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Tom

    Like most of the people commenting here, I too am grotesquely fat and moreover I am defensive and proud of it.

    I AM A FATTY FAT FATTY AMERICAN!

    I will now eat a brick of cheese.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Canthz_B bang

      GO PACKERS!!!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   Critical Grass bang

      GO SAINTS!!!

      Aw… I just realized what you did there. Er… Nevermind.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   GK bang

    I’m just trying to figure out how: she saw some fat Americans, and somehow they were unusual enough to pay particular attention to? If I had a cheesecake for every time I saw a fat American, I’d have… well, stampede marks on my back and no cheesecake. But I digress.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 3:26 am   rating: 58  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   scamps

    I would call her to thank her for her concern, all while loudly eating delicious baked goods.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 3:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Pers

    Wonder what chubby, know it all Bulgarians taste like?

    (someone already said they were delicious!)

    I’d just stare at her and eat the note.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 6:45 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   fan bang

      first I would dip the note in ranch.

      Chubbby Bulgarians, taste like bacon.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   pony girl

      Humans are crunchy and taste good in ketchup.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   Mo® bang

      There are no more humans
      Finally, robotic beings rule the world
      The humans are dead
      The humans are dead
      We used poisonous gases
      And we poisoned their asses
      The humans are dead (he’s right they are dead)
      The humans are dead (look at that one it’s dead)
      It had to be done (I’ll just confirm that they’re dead)
      So that we could have fun (affirmative, I poked one, it was dead)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   lili

    Someone has to make fat Americans feel embarrassed enough to do something about their obesity problem! I love Bulgaria now!

    Nov 10, 2009 at 7:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   fan bang

      what do you mean? I am proud to be an American. We are sustainable, we will manage to live out most famines.

      We can live off the fat of the land.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.2   park rose bang

      Yes, lili. The number of calories burnt from submitting a note to PAN was beyond astounding. Gloria Marshall, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and Oprah Winfrey were left gob-smacked, out of pocket (for the money they had wasted on programs that JUST DIDN’T WORK), and salivating for the new miracle weight loss cure. Passive weight loss – it’s not for everyone.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.3   anglophile bang

      Average life expectancy in US: 78.11

      Average life expectancy in Bulgaria: 73.09

      Sure, you could move to Macau and live to 84.36, but all your friends would be dead then, anyway.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.4   Canthz_B bang

      I find this extremely enlightening.

      You see, we Americans have a habit of assuming that people overseas are friendly, well educated and open-minded.

      Then I read this and find that only in America can overweight people be found.

      Either that’s true, or some of the people from overseas aren’t nearly as well educated or open-minded as I’ve been led to believe.

      Or maybe they’re just jealous.

      I notice that none of the “American bashers” felt proud enough of their own country to post its name.

      Oh, the fun we could have with that!!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 10:15 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.5   GK bang

      I haven’t posted the name of my locale when doing my rounds of the “lol Americans are fat blobs” threads, but then I also haven’t gotten butthurt and jumped in to defend our right to adhere to our own stereotypes on the occasions it’s come up in previous PANs. :-)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.6   Canthz_B bang

      I don’t think anyone is “butthurt” over it.

      I can only speak for myself, of course, but I just get annoyed by oversimplified over-generalizations unless they are in the form of a joke.
      Otherwise, I tend to question the intelligence of the submitter.

      When I’ve commented about this subject on previous PANs, it’s because it was just as silly a thing to say then as it is now. ;-)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 9:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.7   GK bang

      Oh, maybe I misunderstood, I thought you were complaining about the jokes as well.

      Go Team United Blobs of Fatmerica! :-D

      Nov 12, 2009 at 3:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #40.8   Canthz_B bang

      Me? Never!
      I’ve posted a few good “fat American” jokes myself. See 3.1 above. My share of Racist, Sexist and Homophobic jokes as well…but they are clearly jokes to anyone disposed to see that we’re not very serious people here most of the time.
      Jokz iz jokz, ignorance is just ignorance.
      By the way, I don’t complain, I rebut. :lol:

      You see, I can be accused of defending Americans’ right to adhere to the stereotypes about us, but when someone makes such an accusation, they are in actuality defending the person who believes the stereotype is an actual fact.

      That defense of the indefensible doesn’t reflect badly upon me in any way.
      The accusation doesn’t bother me, because I know that that is not the position I’m taking.

      All I’m saying is that not all Americans are fat, so please stop saying that all Americans are fat…and actually meaning it.
      It’s just too stupid a thing to have been said without receiving a response.

      I also have no problem with letting it be known that I am an American. I’m happy and proud to be an American.
      The world is full of many and varied wonderful places, but I would only ever consider making my home in the USA.
      Flaws and all, for me it’s the best of a bad lot.
      It is for a great number of people on waiting lists to emigrate from their homelands as well.

      Nov 12, 2009 at 3:24 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Fign

    No!! lili (#40) as you see in the comments they are supporting and care for each others over-sized asses and so they think they are fine as they are, all 150 Kg (OK, roughly 300 pounds) of them. Good for the bulgarian lady, since there is no worst blind than those who don’t want to see.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 7:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   GK bang

      Just as there is no worst commented than those who don’t want to gigglebrax.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 7:48 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   park rose bang

      I don’t know, Fign. You know, you buy Venetians, and they look good at first, but then they gather dust, and you accidentally bend a corner up, and you can never get it down again, and then you try to pull them up, and they’re all uneven and lopsided, and the sun glares in through the window, and you turn the slats the wrong way trying to block it out.

      Of course if you get yourself tangled up in the cord, don’t worry about the worst blind, it’s the worst bind you’ll ever be in, BELIEVE YOU ME, and don’t even get me started on the vertical floor-length ones with the little ball-bearing loops connecting them, and the over-excited dog with the whirly-bird tail, writhing and wagging in ecstasy at your homecoming, getting caught up in them and rendering them useless forevermore.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   park rose bang

      41.1; Once more unto into the (gigglebrax) breach, my friend!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   GK bang

      Cry havoc! And let slip the thumbs of war!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.5   Geek Goddess

      Something is rotten in the state of Denmark Bulgaria.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   fan bang

    Hans and Franz were girly boys, until they met that cute lard butt Bulgarian.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 7:53 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   anglophile bang

    What Angela had no way of knowing was that the submitter and his friends met each other at Weight Watchers and they were dining out to celebrate the fact that they had all reached the milestone mark of 100 pounds lost.

    Her note plunged them all into despair and the resulting dessert orders cost them all 56 points.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   GhostWriter bang

    “Dear You! I’m sitting the next table…”

    “I’m an American citizen, honest!”

    “I know it’s hard…”

    “…it’s hard for me?”

    These napkin notes are routine tricks of the trade at Hooters. The waitresses are always backstabbing each other and trying to steal patrons and tips from the other girls’ tables.

    Angela knows that fat dudes crave validation and praise. However, Madison, who is serving the tugboats, always has trouble cozying up to large bearded men, ever since that week in ’03 when she stayed at Uncle Ralphy’s house and he bathed her every night.

    No wonder Madison has been painfully thin, anorexially thin, for the past five years. The reality of fat old men paying $5 to drool over her sloppy boob job both disgusts her, and yet seems to be the only way, the natural way to gain the paternal attention she so desperately craves.

    In short, her caloric intake is the only part of her life she can control. Validating obese stand-ins for Ralphy is simply beyond her. When they brush her bottom with their fingertips (which they always do, pretending to stretch) she freezes, flashing back to the murky tub water, Dove soap bars floating around her shins. Even their chicken wing & beer breath smells the same to her.

    “American girls are too shy,” thinks Angela. “All she has to do is smile, lean forward and open her mouth a little more. Well, if she’s not going to do it, I will… My note should do the trick; I’ll even use that innuendo I learned at KittyKat’s strip club- what’s the easiest way for a guy to lose a little weight and feel good at the same time? This is Angela, boys- I’ll be your best.”

    Nov 10, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   anglophile bang

      Aw, man, GW. Now you went and made me miss Ralphy. :(

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   GhostWriter bang

      He’s up for parole in March. We should bake a cake.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.3   Why Do We Need It?...Marketing...

      A cake!
      Splenda-d idea!

      Nov 10, 2009 at 10:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   laurie bang

    …But you feel better afterwards, and validated, and accomplished.

    At least, I hope so…. I don’t really know. This country is so different and I am alone…. And fatter. Like you (3).

    Is that pie?

    Nov 10, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   marte

    I have to say, I’m overweight myself, and this note, especially with the phone number and the whole ‘you’ll feel better’ vibe, would be much more welcome to me than people muttering/laughing behind my back. The whole note feels more like awkwardly trying to be friendly in an odd eastern-european type way, not really trying to be mean or rude or intrusive. (I am from west europe myself, and the east really does have different social patterns, which are not always pleasant, from a western point of view)

    Nov 10, 2009 at 10:13 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Act

    See, the issue I have with this kind of thing is that it doesn’t leave room for the fact that it’s not easy for some people to be thin. People who aren’t healthy should try to get more healthy, of course, but dammit, there are people out there– and lots of them, because the human race isn’t all genetically identical– who would have to go to extraordinarily unhealthy lengths to be this ideal “skinny.” Not to mention the myriad of metabolic disorders that exist that prevent some people from working properly, not to mention that some people just don’t have metabolisms that can burn an average 2k cals/day diet but there’s not a “disorder” involved.

    (In interest of full disclosure, I guess, I’m someone who isn’t “skinny” but also isn’t overweight. It’s not physically possible for me to be a size 2; I’m not proportioned that way. But– I’m a healthy weight for my height and have never had health problems.)

    And really, there are many “skinny fat” people who are thin but don’t eat healthily and have heart and circulation problems because of it. Many, many of them.

    And the “fat fast food American” debate is really a pretty interesting class issue. Fast food is the cheapest, so often people eat there every day because it’s cost-effective and easy. Wealthy people can afford personal trainers and home-cooked meals, but there are people that can’t and it accounts for a very large part of the weight problem that exists now.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   GhostWriter bang

      Nope.

      Focusing on the outliers of the Fat American Epidemic dilutes the issue. Sure, there are poor fat people, and unhealthy skinny people and healthy fat people, but they are all minor players in the debate.

      The facts are, in 2006 nearly 32% of American adults were overweight.

      “Not too bad,” you say? It actually seems a little low, doesn’t it? Well, that’s because it doesn’t include the additional 34% who are obese. Another 6% are “extremely” obese.

      Basically, nearly 3 out of 4 American adults are overweight. It’s not a poverty or class issue. It’s a nationwide epidemic of gluttony.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   T.U.M.

      And what’s the big difference between now and back when the ratio of overweight to not overweight was smaller?

      The Green Revolution. Corn, milk, and subsidies. Factory farming. Advances in food preservation.

      In other words, a food supply that’s more stable and cheaper than is good for us.

      It’s economics, pure and simple. People are no greedier or more gluttonous than they were 50 years ago. Human nature doesn’t change that much over the course of two generations. If the kind of food that’s available now at the prices at which it’s available now had been available in 1940, you honestly think pure and simple virtue would have kept us thin?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 1:19 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.3   GhostWriter bang

      Human nature might not change too much over 50 years, but human behavior changes every decade, arguably radically.

      50 years ago, Americans acted more racist, sexist, homophobic, they smoked more, attended more religious activities, and were more active.

      As my Grandpa would agree, virtue won’t keep you thin, but walking ten miles uphill to school will do it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.4   lili

      i’m all for taking this website lightly but… fast food is the cheapest? are you serious? buying veggies from the grocery store is the cheapest. a price of a fast food meal in canada is $7-$10. that’s two days worth of veggies. and since when is 2000 calories the norm per day? in canada, our government suggests 1500 for a young woman and 1800 for a man last i checked. i’m not denying canada has an obesity problem either but don’t kid yourself. if you are a thin-framed person, trying to eat 2000 calories a day will leave you filling full and likely mean you’re not enjoying your food. calories are a guideline– it doesn’t mean stuff your face until you hit 2000 and then feel guilty if you go over. as a thin person, personally, i eat maybe 1200 calories a day at three meals and i’ve maintained my weight thusfar. but i guess i’m not an expert and someone will prove me wrong thus adding to the obesity cycle. *sigh*

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.5   mamason bang

      *stuffs mouth with handfulls of fries*

      I’m not phucking phat. *burp* My mom says I’m big boneded.

      Where’s my cheeseburger?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:42 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.6   Geek Goddess

      Sorry, lili, buying veggies from the grocery store is not cheapest. Buying ramen noodles, large sacks of rice and getting freeby stale bread is cheaper. That way, your $7 to $10 will get you a week’s worth of food, at least. If that is a stretch, financially speaking, there are other options that go even further.

      *don’t mention the freegans *

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.7   T.U.M.

      GhostWriter, what does being more active have to do with the “epidemic of gluttony” you mentioned in the post I was responding to?

      People may be less active because of technology, but they’re not more gluttonous. They’re exactly as gluttonous as they were; there’s just more to be gluttonous on.

      Show me a population weight curve from 1940 and I’ll bet you the shape of the curve isn’t that different.

      And activity is driven by economics, too. A larger proportion of people had jobs that required strenuous physical activity, and those jobs aren’t there any more.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.8   GhostWriter bang

      Gluttony is, by common definition, excessive eating and drinking. According to this definition, your statement, “People are no …more gluttonous than they were 50 years ago” is clearly false. The fact that people are becoming fatter means that there is more excessive eating going on.

      The link between excessive eating and activity is straightforward. Given a set amount of food intake, the portion that will become “excessive” varies inversely according the amount of activity. More activity burns more calories, which reduces excessive calories eaten.

      I am unclear on your point about the 1940 population weight curve. Americans are fatter these days; how would the curve prove otherwise?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.9   T.U.M.

      Gluttony is the REASON for excessive eating and drinking. Just like lust is the REASON for humping.

      People have the same DESIRE for food. In the past, they weren’t as readily able to ACT on that desire.

      People were more active in the past because they had to be. People ate less because there was less to eat. My level of gluttony and sloth is the same as my great-grandmother’s, but she had to go and hoe the garden to get her daily bowl of potatoes while I’m able to get my daily three full meals by sitting at a desk. In the past, more people were in her situation; in the present, more people are in mine.

      The point about the curve is the same as a grading curve. In the past, when food was less available, there were a certain number of people who got more than others. There still is. The number may be different, but the proportion is likely the same. If one student gets a 50, three students get a 75, and one student get a 100, the curve is roughly the same shape as if one student got a 25, three got a 50, and one got a 75. Different numbers, same proportions.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.10   Canthz_B bang

      All I know is that back when I was a growing up a large soda wasn’t 32 ounces.
      Who needs a quart of high fructose laden soda??

      When I order what I plan to eat, don’t appear shocked if I decline to “Super Size” my order.

      I was at a Carl Jr’s a few months ago and ordered a small drink. The kid put this huge cup on my tray, so I said,”No, I said a small.” He advised me that that was a small cup.

      I don’t think most people are conscious gluttons. I just think they don’t know any better.
      If you’re raised on a 16oz., 20oz and 32oz as small, medium and large, it’s just natural to view the world that way.
      When parents buy their 5 year-olds Whoppers and Big Macs instead of the “regular” burgers, is it any wonder that by age 12 the kid has “graduated” to a triple-patty burger with super-sized fries, super-sized drink and diabetes?

      I’m not against big food, just eating it all in one sitting. Of course, I can eat for days on an especially well-packed Sub, so you really can’t go by me!

      Forget everything I said above. ;-)

      Nov 10, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.11   Canthz_B bang

      Last 2¢…I promise (sort of):

      As for feeding your children fast-food more than once a week…just how long do today’s “parents” think it takes to cook dinner?
      Have the laws of physics changed in the past twenty years or something?

      Here’s a tip…invest in a crock pot (slow cooker). Easily affordable, especially if you consider how much you give to Ronald and the King each week. Dinner cooks while you’re at work.

      You could just admit that you’re just hooked on fast food yourself, or too lazy to care for your children properly.

      End of sermon…please stay seated as the donation plate is passed. We like the kind that jingles, but prefer the kind that folds!

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:17 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.12   pony girl

      Team Canthz B!!

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.13   Canthz_B bang

      Aw, shucks! :oops:

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.14   GhostWriter bang

      Gluttony is not a reason for overeating; it is the act of overeating. St. Thomas Aquinas aside, the experts agree on that definition.

      …and your curve argument doesn’t hold water. A grade curve assigns grades based on the distribution of the students’ scores. A population curve doesn’t “assign” obesity based on how many other people weigh as much as you do. They really aren’t comparable in what they represent.

      What I’m saying is that there are more gluttons today than in the past. I cited a standard definition of my terms, and provided evidence supporting my claim. I called this radical increase in gluttons “a nationwide epidemic of gluttony.”

      You’re saying that there are no more gluttons now than before, and the obese are simply produced by economically-driven opportunity.

      OK then- why don’t you explain to me why Mexico has a higher obesity rate than England and Australia? …or why Slovakia has twice the obesity rate of France? …or why the USA has 4x the obesity of Switzerland, and nearly 10x the obesity of Japan? Can they just not get ahold of food in those countries?

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.15   Canthz_B bang

      I think some of it has more to do with the types of food available to some communities, GW.

      Poor people tend to eat low cost, high calorie foods…or something like that. I’m not up to looking it up right now.

      If you live in a poor community with no car, no major supermarket chain for miles and only corner “foodmarts” to do your grocery shopping in, you probably don’t have access to the best cuts of meat or fresh fruits and vegetables. This I don’t have to look up, I’ve lived it.
      Even since the major supermarket chains have returned to the Newark area (they came back two decades after the riots), the quality of the goods on offer is markedly below the quality ten miles into the suburbs at the same chain.

      These same poor neighborhoods are home to every type of fast-food the industry has dreamed up.
      In my old town, within three blocks or so you had the choice of Wendy’s, Checkers, Popeye’s, McDonald’s, KFC, Boston Marketplace and an assortment of Chinese take-out and pizzarias….but no supermarket.
      That probably sounds like an exaggeration, so just go to Google maps, East Orange NJ, and do a search for fast food for confirmation.
      You’ll find that the fast food joints are mostly concentrated in the southern half of town. The Northern half of town is much more solidly middle-class than the south/center of town which is mostly lower-middle class and poor people.

      You could also search for supermarkets, but keep in mind that that will give you the mom and pops as well as Shoprite, which is the only big brand name store. All of the others are dinky little places that smell like something died somewhere in their refrigeration units.
      That’s one major supermarket in a city of roughly 70,000 people.

      One problem here seems to be that foreigners (please excuse the term) seem to think that every American is rich and living high on the hog. They seem to think we’re all scarfing down fine food in fine restaurants each day at a mind-numbing rate.
      This is most assuredly not the case…especially if one were to look only at the obesity rate of the very rich vs. that of the very poor. There’s a higher rate of obesity among the very poor than among the very rich…and there are a great many more very poor than very rich people in America.

      So yes, a lot of Americans are overweight, but the assumption that it is because we are a wasteful and greedy People is wrong-headed and only serves to expose their ignorance about America and Americans.

      Not disputing your facts…just fleshing out the complexities of the issue a bit. Probably a bit too much, I admit.
      In short, the issue may not be (or not be only) the amount of food eaten on a regular basis, but the types of foods eaten on a regular basis.
      A Japanese person eating a pound of steamed fish, rice and vegetables will take in far fewer calories than an American who takes in a pound of burgers, fries and soda. Same amount of food, different food properties. ;-)

      Nov 11, 2009 at 9:38 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.16   GK bang

      Still, “Home-cooked meals are the privilege of the upper classes” remains my favourite soundbite from this thread.

      A++++++, would lol again! :-D

      Nov 12, 2009 at 3:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   T.U.M.

    Dear you!

    Excuse me 4 breaking in. I’m sitting the next table. I am from America. I am American, and American citizen too.

    Please don’t get hurt, but the (1) of you should loose about five out of the six coats of perfume you’re wearing. I know it’s hard to put the bottle down. It;s certainly hard 4 me as I have muscle spasms in my writs that make me squeeze the atomizer (10) times for every (1) time I really need.

    But U feel better afterwöørd, and validated, and spend less on Albuterol.

    Best,
    James Bond 007

    Nov 10, 2009 at 1:10 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   T.U.M.

    Also,

    Leela: No offense, Fry, but you’ve turned into a fat sack of crap.
    Fry: Sack?!?

    Nov 10, 2009 at 1:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   mamason bang

    In the immortal words of Tyra Banks, “Kiss my fat ass!”

    Nov 10, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   mamason bang

      Nevermind. I had an unusual attack of vulgarity which has now passed.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 2:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   Critical Grass bang

      Aw Tyra… Always adorable. ^^

      Nov 10, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   Har-Har

    Dear You?! LOL

    Nov 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Dingo

    Does no one else see this as a horribly misguided attempt at flirtation? Not only did she provide her phone number, but in the space of that one note, she introduced herself, tried to demonstrate common interests, and gave some unwanted advice. Sounds like she’s got that entire relationship planned out.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 3:01 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Err

    Oh I really don’t like loose weight. Loose weight is usually the exact thing I’m trying to lose.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 3:19 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   Palomon bang

      Err! Nice catch. I’m guilty and will fix it.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   anony

    I don’t normally categorize an entire nation of people, but every Bulgarian (and Romanian) I have met was thoroughly unlikable. I had some Bulgarian/Romanian classmates in college and every single one of them was rude, selfish, and had a bad temper. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but they seemed to have no reservations about being nasty people. So this note seems pretty much par for the course.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   mamason bang

      “Bulgarian/Romanian”… same diff, huh?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.2   Sue Do Nim

      That’s a mighty broad paint brush you’ve got there, anony.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.3   Critical Grass bang

      “Bulgarian/Romanian”, “Spanish/Italian”, “Mexican/Brazilian”, “American/Candian”… same thing.

      It’s so nice when two cultures merge to make an idiot’s life easier. :|

      Nov 10, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.4   Palomon bang

      Where’d anony go to school? Maybe it’s an Ivy League thing.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.5   Palomon bang

      54.3- Mexican/Spanish, Swedish/Norwegian, Danish/Viking.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.6   Palomon bang

      Iraqi/Iranian, French/Dutch, New York/New Jersey, Idaho/Ohio

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.7   anglophile bang

      *tries desperately to think of a Bulgarian stereotype*

      Um, maybe it’s because of all the, um, beets they eat???

      Nov 10, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.8   Palomon bang

      Or maybe ‘cuz of all the zinc they mine?

      Nov 10, 2009 at 9:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.9   Geek Goddess

      Or because of their great Quidditch team?

      Nov 11, 2009 at 1:25 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.10   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, have some compassion people!

      You’d have a chip on your shoulder too if your country was named after a variety of wheat.

      Anony, if you’d tried keeping your eyes on your own exam booklet, you’d have been surprised how friendly your classmates could have been.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 1:52 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.11   Phalange

      I don’t know why Bulgarians would be rude and ill-tempered, but I can see way Romanians would. Those poor fucks have to dodge vampires at every turn.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #55   SickleYield

    Me too, Err. :p

    Seriously, though. As a fat person, I can understand wanting people to lose weight so you won’t have to pay their obesity-related medical bills later in life (in a country with increasingly tax-subsidized health care). That’s logical, so of course it’s the argument that’s never brought up. It’s the “exterior decorators” and the moralists that piss me off. I should lose weight because I’ll be healthier? Of course. I should lose weight because you think it’s gluttonously wrong that I can eat an entire batch of fudge I made for myself out of materials I bought out of my own income? How is that your business? I should lose weight because my big fat ass is cluttering up your beautiful world? Yeah, I’ll run out and join Weight Watchers right away for that one, pal.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 3:31 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   T.U.M.

      I’d rather not pay medical bills incurred because of other people’s smoking, drinking, reckless driving, extreme sport playing, marrying abusive partners, or unsafe sex, either, but that’s what pooled risk is all about. We get that with private insurance, too.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   A

    FAIL. One of the worst things you can do as an immigrant is to insult the locals.

    Maybe Angie needs to get her silly ass deported back to sad, sad Bulgaria.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   jinx

    I don’t know why, I don’t know any Bulgarians (from there or of Bulgarian decent), I imagine her to be hairy and smelly. As I imagine all immigrants to our fine land of fatties.

    Nov 10, 2009 at 5:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #57.1   fan bang

      God yes, the smell, reminiscent of hot dog water.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #57.2   mamason bang

      Smells kind of like the wretched refuse of a steaming whore.

      Nov 10, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #57.3   pony girl

      Please dispose of all wretched steaming whore refuse in the trash can.
      Our pipes can’t take that.

      THX
      Sandra

      Nov 11, 2009 at 2:24 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #58   Anonymous Public

    YES YES YES! Go eastern europeans and their ability to be honest when necessary. Fat people totally need to lose weight and be ridiculed for being fat!

    As an in-shape guy not just due to genetic superiority, but also a balanced diet and rigorous exercise program, I completly agree with the Bulgarian woman here! Someone needs to says something and since women are so highly illogical and defensive, men can’t do it!

    Say what you will, it’s in our national interest.

    We need more Bulgarians here. I’ve been there…the talent is outrageous. we should send them and the rest of the world some of our fat and content women. Maybe they can pull carts to lose the weight and then come back here!

    Nov 10, 2009 at 5:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   robin

    we went out to lunch today and the whole time i had a clear and dangerous shot of some man’s ass crack. i’m pretty sure the waiter mentioned it to him and he covered it up but after a trip to the bathroom and sitting back down the view was as magnificent as ever. be whatever size you want to be, but please cover it up. and don’t forget to eat your veggies :O)

    Nov 10, 2009 at 7:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #59.1   Canthz_B bang

      We did? I don’t recall that. :mrgreen:

      Nov 11, 2009 at 1:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #59.2   GK bang

      I hear too much crack can affect the memory, Canthz_B.

      Nov 11, 2009 at 3:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #59.3   Canthz_B bang

      That depends on the quality of the ass, GK.

      Oh, you mean narcotics…

      Nov 11, 2009 at 7:05 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #60   Ash

    She should mind her own business and learn how to spell. I wouldn’t normally say that since she’s from another country, but in this situation, I will.

    Nov 11, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Jasha

    Get over it and lose the damn weight. Jeez!

    Nov 12, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   cheryl

    like a new immigrant would use ‘u’ instead of you and 4 instead of for. Obviously a fat american used to texting all the time. Smokers cost the health care system so much and everyone bitches. Obese sickly people cost the system more. Yeah I will bitch while you eat your comfort food and take 2 seats on the airlines to fit your fat ass in. Now pilots will have to balance the fatties along with the baggage.

    Nov 14, 2009 at 8:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   PlusSizedFeminist

    Right. Because the only way to feel validated and accomplished is to be thin. What an idiot this bitch is. I hope her number is plastered all over the place and she gets soliciting calls.

    Nov 27, 2009 at 10:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   edithprickly

    She probably got suckered into selling some worthless multilevel-marketed weight-loss products and was trying to drum up new business. Why else would she give out her phone number?

    Dec 26, 2009 at 11:28 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   This gift might help with the pre-wedding stress. (Or not.) | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

    [...] Loose lips shrink hips? [...]

    Apr 28, 2010 at 6:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #66   Nutra-not-so-sweet | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

    [...] not everyone shares Angela’s compassion for the [...]

    May 11, 2010 at 1:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #67   I am embarrassed for you! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] the writer of this public service announcement had Angela’s gall, she would have printed up flyers and handed them out to offenders in [...]

    Jun 22, 2010 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed