Our submitter in Denver says his buddy snapped a photo of this notice while she was getting her new military ID. Adds our submitter: “I’ve had success getting a picture retaken at the DMV, but bad photos at the military ID office are usually considered a ‘personal problem.’”
Happy Veterans Day, folks!
related: no washing your ass in the sink
84 responses so far ↓
#1
Kris
They’d make a killing selling those special cameras at Walmart.
Nov 10, 2009 at 11:44 pm rating: 15
#2
crumplet
Mannn i want a camera like this! “Specially made not to take ugly pictures”
Nov 10, 2009 at 11:45 pm rating: 2
#3
tp
“If you’re ugly, don’t blame us.”
Nov 10, 2009 at 11:50 pm rating: 6
#4
Canthz_B
That’s our high tech military at work.
To think! They have cameras that can sense ugly and automatically go into hibernate mode.
Nov 10, 2009 at 11:50 pm rating: 13
#5
Annie
I have a pen pal in the military who’s currently stationed in the denver area, and he works in a sort of HR office there. And this is EXACTLY his sense of humor & writing style….. i’ll have to find out if this was his doing.
Nov 10, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 1
#6
Chanda
My grandad uses that same saying around the holiday’s “If you want a better picture.Bring a better face” lol Gotta love it.
Nov 11, 2009 at 12:01 am rating: 4
#7
debkatz
Does it take pictures of middle fingers…like THIS
Nov 11, 2009 at 12:02 am rating: 7
#8
Canthz_B
The camera never lies, but the photographer has been known to tell some whoppers!
Nov 11, 2009 at 12:14 am rating: 4
#9
Canthz_B
SNAFU: Show No Anger, Face Unattractive
Nov 11, 2009 at 12:45 am rating: 13
#10
Lenny!
Damn, I left my better face at the cleaners, now what am I suppose to do?
Nov 11, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: 4
#11
Canthz_B
FUBAR: Facial Ungodliness Breeds Adversarial Rejoinders
Nov 11, 2009 at 12:57 am rating: 2
#12
aaa
Now I’m thinking it’s some sort of magical Twilight Zone camera that specifically takes a picture of your soul or some shit. Yeah…
Nov 11, 2009 at 1:19 am rating: 1
#13
katethom
the camera at my old work had a sign ‘this camera is digital… not magical’
obviously people are never happy with their ID pictures
Nov 11, 2009 at 1:19 am rating: 22
#14
Silence
To be fair, though…I’ve never ever ever seen someone look good in a military photo. It’s like like you give up your good looks right alongside giving up long hair.
Nov 11, 2009 at 1:42 am rating: 1
#15
pony girl
Uncle Sam Wants You!!
(to feel badly about yourself)
Nov 11, 2009 at 2:18 am rating: 16
#16
Critical Grass
NOTICE TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER!!!
Nice try…
Now, just do a better job and take some good pictures.
Nov 11, 2009 at 6:08 am rating: 3
#17
Makya
A picture’s worth a thousand words, or, in this case – 36.
Nov 11, 2009 at 6:24 am rating: 1
#18
adam
Hahaha, this one is hilarious. With ID pictures in general you have to take a bad picture and just live with it. That is just the way it is.
I just got my passport. The guy at the post office took the picture. When I got it back I was shocked by the evil and not smooth looking guy I must have looked like that day.
But I will wear it as a badge of honor.
Nov 11, 2009 at 7:28 am rating: 0
#19
Critical Grass
Everyone should have the right to photoshop ID pictures. In fact, I believe the photographers should always carry a laptop with them in order to improve the pictures taken and enhance the natural beauty of their costumers whenerver asked to.
Nov 11, 2009 at 7:41 am rating: 1
#20
Meesh
What would it take, like, five seconds to snap a second picture to ensure that one looks good? Oh well, that’s the government for you. All about following arbitrary rules regardless of the outcome.
Nov 11, 2009 at 7:49 am rating: 0
#21
Woman on the Verge
Shit. I wore my ugly face today… If I had known I was going to have my picture taken, I’d have gone for my game face or my incredibly attractive face or (just for fun) my I-had-ten-drinks-too-many-and-this-is-my-DUI-mug-shot face.
Nov 11, 2009 at 8:27 am rating: 7
#22
Woman on the Verge
Do you mean….
Like this?
Okay, I totally gigglebraxed this. Heisa was fighting me the whole way…
Shit. Do I really have to wear that unitard? It’s a little gamey.
Nov 11, 2009 at 9:10 am rating: 7
#23
thrall38
I do like the “customer” part… Like you have a choice. And the photographer knows how not to split an infinitive! Huzzah!
Nov 11, 2009 at 9:25 am rating: 0
#24
Natballs
hahahahahah. that’s a good one!
Nov 11, 2009 at 9:32 am rating: 0
#25
farcical aquatic ceremony
can’t believe I’m the first to remark on the Buffalo Bill (“Silence of the Lambs”) or “Face Off” connotations of the “bring in a better face” directive…sadly, I have census tracts on the brain and cannot think of anything very amusing; I’ll leave it to the crowd
Nov 11, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: 0
#26
laurie
Be all that you can be! Get plastic surgery!
There’s a limerick in there somewhere.
Nov 11, 2009 at 10:24 am rating: 0
#27
Palomon
The oath is to “Uphold and defend the Constitution…against all enemies…” Nothin’ in there about making you look pretty.
Young soldiers (and sailors, Marines and airmen) almost universally share this sense of humor. Often shared on port-a-potty walls, the print-out is similarily written in haste.
Two of the best I’ve ever seen:
“Sgt. X does not suck that much dick.”
And, in Taqqadum, Iraq, a big inbound/outbound processing air base, I saw this in ’04, before the mission started to really turn around:
“IRAQ: it’s Arabic for Vietnam!”
Nov 11, 2009 at 1:32 pm rating: 5
#28
Beth
It’s not the glamour mags with stick-thin models that have convinced me never to leave the house with my hair undone and no makeup on – it’s ID photos and mugshots on TV!
Umm… *other people’s* mugshots.
Nov 11, 2009 at 2:52 pm rating: 0
#29
Seanette
I firmly believe that when someone is interviewed for a job at the DMV, one of the questions is “can you take a decent picture?” If the answer is yes, the candidate is disqualified. Apparently, military ID photographers are selected by similar criteria.
Nov 11, 2009 at 6:46 pm rating: 5
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