Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays…

November 15th, 2009 · 150 comments

Perhaps Dirty Lady #2 got an office job?

passiveaggressivenotes.com: Ladies, let's all take really good baths

related: the most disgusting thing is a nasty lady

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · hygiene · odor · office


150 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Xander

    I am struggling to find an explaination for what situation this memo would apply to….

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Fresca

      That thought was what immediately occurred to me as well. I don’t think I want to work in any place where people need to be reminded to bathe and wash their clothes, male or female.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   JetJackson

      I think it’s a pep talk in the staff room of a brothel.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   karen

      Having played ‘cabbie’ for the carpool at times, I can completely sympathize with this one.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Car RamRod

      Perhaps it’s somewhere in the third world. Why else would it require nice weather to bathe, unless you were doing it in the local water hole? Nothing like bathing in the town’s drinking water to spread cholera. It keeps the Red Cross busy.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   snuzzle

      Someone in the office smells, and the note writer is too much of a pansy to just come out and say it. So she had to tiptoe around it and include everyone.

      Of course, if the note writee is truly the type of person who needs to be reminded to bathe and wash her clothes, then she is also someone who will never be aware she stinks, and won’t know this note is for her. So the note accomplishes nothing, except making the note writer make look like an idiot.

      Well, so I guess it did accomplish something.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   pony girl

      Maybe someone’s been bathing and doing their laundry in the bathroom at work?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 1:57 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   infant tyrone bang

      No doubt reducing the overall efficacy of the overworked PIPES…

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   park rose

      Cities on the Plains: The Evolution of Urban Kansas
      Xander, does this help? I couldn’t find a nation, but how about a city instead?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:33 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   oi

      ay! ay! Car Ramrod I am with you. It’s from third world country. they bathe in the town’s drinking water only when the weather is nice. Yes, they don’t follow basic hygiene but go out and put notes in not in native language but in English so first world countries can discuss what a shameful life they are living.
      yep that sounds totally logical.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 10:55 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   GK bang

      Oh! Oh, that zinged him oi. I saw his hair move.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:03 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Car RamRod

      Wow oi, someone can’t take a joke. Is the third world topic a sensitive nerve with you? Were you adopted by Angelina Jolie or perhaps through one of those Sally Struthers ads or something, and now feel guilty for leaving your brethren behind in their pit of despair?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   Critical Grass bang

      Oh no, Car RamRod @ 1.4, we in the third world countries bathe in the sea or in beautiful blue lagoons. We don’t have access to piped water, like… at all!
      And when it rains… Oh, boy! You gotta see how festive it gets down here, because then everybody can shower at the same time, you know, in the streets!
      Jesus… ¬¬

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:30 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Shes Crusty

      Feel ya note-writer. Cmon folks, this might not be out of line depending on the degree of raunchiness. Ive smelt some bull-doggin bitches in the workplace before. Theres this chick who literally smells like she bathes in mustard pretzels and dog hair. She smokes ciggs but her breath ALWAYS smells like she just brushed her damn teeth with horse shit! Sigh, the worst is, I slept with her as an intern..

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:47 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.14   GK bang

      Strangest part of that story: you admitted to it.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.15   Critical Grass bang

      Why di… How coul… What wer… Nevermind. I’m just sorry for you.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.16   oi bang

      aww, Car ramrod do you have degree in psychology or what? You have shown error in my way. I guess I should be more accepting in my behavior as generous first world has got me out of that dirty pit.. I should accept all kind of sense of humor too.(for example not so funny, illogical etc) See, now I am laughing so hard my eyes are watering!
      Hey CG you should also try to be adopted by somebody like Car ramrod then you would not have to wait for raining.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.17   oi bang

      GK, do you want to be zinged too? :P

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.18   Shes Crusty

      @ 1.14 Yeah I’m not gonna brag here, but it feels great getting that one out there. Hell, I dont mind were all strangrs to eachother here, makes it real nice and easy to come out with.

      I can smell her everyday across the hallway though, its filthy. I was young and never slept with an older woman. She was a good suga momma for about a 2 week span though. Managed to get $500 worth of camping gear\clothes!

      But my pride? Dont ask…

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.19   GK bang

      Just reading about this makes me want to take a shower…

      SO MUCH D-:

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.20   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, Shes Crusty, knowing that about you makes me fell so dirty, and not in the good way…

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.21   pony girl

      1.9- Maybe English is the international language of passive-aggressive notes?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.22   Critical Grass bang

      Oi @ 1.16: I guess Angelina is my only hope right now. - Angelinaaaaaaaaaaa!

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.23   Mo® bang

      Can I come over when it rains next? :wink:

      Nov 16, 2009 at 1:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.24   shes crusty

      Duuuudes, it was warm and wet. I was lonely, naked, and shit-covered. Her kinda guy!

      Nov 16, 2009 at 1:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.25   Critical Grass bang

      You were what?!
      Ok, now tell us everything, with details.

      Guess I have that ‘Car Crash Syndrome’ or something, but now I just need to know.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.26   Critical Grass bang

      #1.23 You talkin’ to me?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.27   Mo®

      Maybe…depends…uummmm yeah. :oops:

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.28   infant tyrone bang

      CG @ 1.12…

      What are the two things at the end of 1.12 after “Jesus…” ? Meaning?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.29   Geek Goddess

      You mean these things?

      “Jesus… ¬¬”

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.30   infant tyrone bang

      Yes, those things…

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.31   oi bang

      Are you sure these things?
      … ¬¬ :P

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.32   Palomon bang

      That’s the way you do it!

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.33   park rose bang

      money for nothing,
      and your chicks for free

      Nov 16, 2009 at 5:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.34   park rose bang

      Ty @ 1.28, the staples that pinned Christ’s palms to the cross?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.35   infant tyrone bang

      Maybe, but maybe a geta aimed at ZatoIchi, who sliced it in two perfectly.

      Staples ? Oz-speak for spikes ? Dude had an ethereal air about him, but I think he woulda needed more than what you can buy at Office Depot.

      Maybe oi has some engineering tips ?

      OK, if we’re gonna get all Knopfler, just remember I’m the nice cop…You don’t want me to have to call in “Sargeant Sponge” and the bucket brigade.

      I’m just an aging drummer boy
      And in the wars I used to play
      And I’ve called the tune
      To many a torture session

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.36   JetJackson

      I need camping gear too but unfortunately no stanky sugar mommas in our office.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.37   Critical Grass bang

      @ Mo®: Oh, so cute…

      @ IT: Those are evil eyes see: ¬¬ two little eyes looking all judgemental and… Nevermind, it’s a typo.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.38   park rose bang

      Ty, well, he was kinda stationery once he was staked up there… ;)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.39   infant tyrone bang

      Well as long as we’re pounding them out in a sacrilegious com-mode…

      How much money or power would a person need to be able to commission the theft of (and replacement of with a foolproof replica) the Shroud of Turin and then use said shroud in the making of a very specialized batch of Poseidon Paper?

      Meant to be rhetorical (and funny), but if anyone has serious thoughts about an answer, I’m all ears as soon as I get back from Flushing.

      But, seriously, what are those things ??

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.40   GK bang

      They’re “NOT” signs. OK?

      Nov 17, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.41   Geek Goddess

      So we’ve established that they are not signs. Now we would like to know what they are.

      Nov 17, 2009 at 11:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Wade bang

    It’s not often you see a brothel take the weekend off.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   JetJackson

      Ahh too quick for me Wade… nice.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   kdstentzel

      hey, even hookers need breaks now and again :) … or maybe i should say hookers especially need breaks now and again.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Canthz_B bang

      You’d think they’d be broken (in) by now, huh?

      What I’m waiting for now is for the whores to write in and explain the difference between a whore and a hooker.

      They’re sensitive about that…like being a server at a posh restaurant vs. being a waitress at a truck stop.

      Servers are never waitresses, and whores are never hookers…but waitresses are always servers, and hookers are always whores.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 11:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Palomon bang

      Ah Wade- they all got doctors’ notes telling them to get some rest, stay OUT of bed for a while.
      Bwahahahaha.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   LuckyK

    What, no douche request?

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      I thought it was a douche request…to make.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Critical Grass bang

      Nah, a febreze shower will do the trick.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   MAMARILLA2 bang

    Thank god the note writer didn’t include a request for the use of perfume/cologne as well.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Critical Grass bang

      She requested the use of “nice smelling” shampoo, though.
      Really, who uses a bad smelling shampoo?

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   G

      There are some really horrible ones out there. V05 is some nasty stuff, for example. Ugh. And yet people buy it–and if they buy it, I presume they use it.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   snuzzle

      I use a no-fragrance-added shampoo. Because just about all the other shampoos out there have overpowering chemical smells that make me gag.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   anglophile bang

    All right, I will comply with your request. But I’m not shaving my legs. That’s going too far.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      At least braid the hair under your arms.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Critical Grass bang

      Beautiful.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Geek Goddess

      I like to braid my leg hair into beautiful macrame patterns.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Mo® bang

      Prince Albert has dreads!

      Nov 16, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    I’m gonna wash that mange right outta my hair!
    Gonna smell good Monday when I get here! ♫

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Ladies, Ladies, Ladies

    The weather is supposed to be beautiful this week -end – SO
    I know you would all like to be out having a good time with your boyfriends, husbands and BFFs.
    Just this once, spend your week -ends doing ALL of your laundry like me…

    So you can return to work on Monday and I don’t have to hear about what people with real lives do all week -end!

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    No indication as to where this note comes from.

    I’ll hazard a guess and suggest it is from Funkytown.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:54 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   pony girl

      **Won’t you take me to
      Funkytown**

      Nov 16, 2009 at 1:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   pony girl

      Oh, and, thanks.
      Now I have that song stuck in my head.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   park rose

      Well, PG, you talked about it, talked about it, talked about it…

      What do you expect? ;)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:37 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Canthz_B bang

      Welcome to the club, PG.
      It’s been banging around my head since college!

      I finished that paper for Social Psych…right?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Mo®

      keeps me movin’, keeps me groovin’

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Critical Grass bang

      I gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me.
      Any suggestions?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   infant tyrone bang

      Milwaukee’s the home of Briggs & Stratton…would that work for you ?

      If you avoid beer factory tours you can really groove with some energy.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Critical Grass bang

    Ladies, Ladies, Ladies

    You stink.
    That’s why all ya’ll are still single.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:56 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Havingfitz

    Oh, thank GOD she didn’t say anything about changing a 4-day-old Always pad…

    Nov 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Seanette bang

      This has to be one of the most disgusting comments I’ve ever seen here. Makes claw look tasteful.

      Nov 15, 2009 at 10:12 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Havingfitz

      Hey, if I wanted to be disgusting I’d have asked you “What’s 40 feet long and smells like urine?”
      (A conga line in a nursing home).

      Nov 15, 2009 at 10:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   GK bang

      That’s bloody disgusting!

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:27 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Bill Sodeman

    [facepalm]

    Nov 15, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   BlackMarketBeagle

    Someone needs to stick a used maxi pad on this note. Seriously. I wish I was there right now. I’d do it.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 9:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   You're crusty

      Were all impressed with your period and all, but chill, cmon.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Yertle the Turtle bang

    Yay! It’s been SO long since the weather has been beautiful enough to take a really GOOD Bath.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 9:18 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   AuntyBron

      What does the weather have to do with taking a bath? Don’t she know most people take their baths ( when they take them…) in their bathrooms. Or does she think they bathe in the river while beating their clothes on the rocks with lye soap?

      Nov 15, 2009 at 10:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   MAMARILLA2 bang

    Some one finally told Sandra that the office smelled like the shithouse door on a tuna boat.

    Nov 15, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Havingfitz

    Am I the only one who would show up on Monday looking like I spent the beautiful weekend frolicking in a landfill?

    Nov 15, 2009 at 10:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      Why business as usual? :-P

      Nov 15, 2009 at 10:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   PitFiendWhips

    What does good weather have to do with bathing and laundry? Sounds like the note writer had no idea how to start off the note. What about the infamous way to get one’s attention that hotels use?

    “SEX!”
    Now that I have your attention …

    Nov 15, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   JetJackson

      I don’t think that would work in a brothel…

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Adam

    …and this was posted on a Monday. Coincidence? I think not.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 1:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose bang

      Adam, considering the direction the comments have taken on this note, I wonder if you’d like to weigh in with your thoughts on that age old palindrome, Madam, I’m Adam. Do you think it should be coupled with infamous Mae West quotes ( Is that a gun in your pocket…? ), or do you think the Madam of the palindrome runs a perfectly respectful boarding house? Taking into account your obvious expertise on the topic (being Adam), curious minds would like to know.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   adam

      I don’t really like the term Madam. For some reason I never find myself saying or thinking it.

      If I am trying to show respect to an elder woman I like go go for Ma’ham. (Or is it Ma’hm? It’s not Mahm. Help me out, please.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Yertle the Turtle bang

      “Ma’am,” I believe. “Ma’ham” makes me think of the way a southern woman would say “my ham” haha.

      “Yessir, that there’s ma’ham and I’m fixin’ t’eat it!”

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:26 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Critical Grass bang

      Oh Adam, it’s so nice to see that you’re not a sarcastic #$*%er like us. It’s really refreshing to see someone so… cradled in goodness. I’ll try to be more like you… Oh well, guess not, it’s too late for me, but go ahead and do your thing.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   park rose bang

      Did your mother put those punctuation marks in your mouth, CG? She ought to be ashamed of herself. ;)

      I’m thinking that Adam might have the driest or most surreal wit of us all, but the jury’s still out.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Critical Grass bang

      No, my mother doesn’t have anything to do with my use of punctuation marks. It’s all me. :( She would be ashamed if she knew, though… Sorry, mother.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Palomon bang

      “Ma’am” is a contraction of “Madame,” isn’t it?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   mystic_eye

      Yes, but don’t ask what happened to the “e”, you don’t want to know. ;-)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 11:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   adam

      “Able was I ere I saw Elba”
      “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.”
      “Bird rib”
      “Borrow or rob?”
      “Don’t nod”
      “Drawn inward”
      “Dump mud”
      “Go dog”
      “I did, did I?”
      “I prefer pi.”
      “Lepers repel”
      “Madam, I’m Adam.”
      “Ma has a ham.”
      “My gym.”
      “Never odd or even”
      “No lemon, no melon.”
      “Now I won.”
      “Nurses run.”
      “Race car”
      “Top spot”
      “Tuna nut”
      “Was it a cat I saw?”

      These are all pretty silly. Would love to see these actually worked into a convo, though it would be forced for sure.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   GK bang

      Why adam, you little saippuakuppinippukauppias, you!

      Nov 16, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, Adam… ♥

      Nov 16, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   Mo®

      http://www.enchantedlearning.com/english/palindromes/

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   adam

      Hey, we googled the same thing! Small world.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   pony girl

    Are these people living in 1748?
    Why would they need nice weather to bathe?

    Nov 16, 2009 at 1:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Palomon bang

      No, they live across the hall in 1749. Place always smells like fish and cabbage and hemp. Stinks up the whole hallway. They refuse to use electricity or propane or oil. Solar heated showers only, hence the whole weather thing.
      It ain’t easy bein’ green.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:38 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Swwoodsy

      LMAO, Palomon.

      I think I used to live down the hall from them. But maybe not — my neighbors were big fans of the Nag Champa incense, too.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 10:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   pony girl

    I thought that the punchline was going to be, “So that you ladies don’t have to pour a gallon of perfume on every morning and stink up the elevator.”
    This note is worse.
    Just, eeewww.
    Fire the stinky-ass person, I say.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 1:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   park rose bang

      I thought firing the stinky-ass person was a rite de passage* for teenage boys and frat house members the nation over.

      *”Rite de passage! rite de passage!” urged, newly arrived from Japan, Hiroshi. He’d never had so much fun with matches and farts.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Palomon bang

    Is the weather “suppose” to make bathing easier, or are we to suppose that the warm weather will cause extra sweating and a greater need for bathing?

    Nov 16, 2009 at 2:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   windy

    this one’s really bizarre. and bitchy. i’m so curious about what type of workplace it is. all women? transvestite strippers maybe, what? anything that starts with ladies! or please ladies is just gonna be wrong. i’m with havingfitz. seriously, most women are pretty clean.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 4:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose bang

      Okay, you’ve sold me. It’s actually the first draft for the Beastie Boys’ Hey Ladies.

      The capitals are where the stress is, or where the lyrics run off or enjamb on the original.

      Ladies, Ladies, Ladies,
      The weather is suppose to be beautiful this week – end SO!
      Let’s all take this chance to take really GOOD
      baths using
      lots of SOAP and HOT WATER and washing OUR HAIR
      shampoo with care, let’s
      ALL use really good DE-ODE-ER-RANTS,
      scent on a stick SWEET and SLICK,
      and not to forget to wash ALL OUR CLOTHES,
      so we return on Monday smelling NICE and CLEAN, you’re the passionate ones remember where YOU’VE BEEN

      Well, you know how it goes. Nothing like the eventual song. Genius, one tenth inspiration, nine-tenths perspiration, which explains the need for deodorant. They work with a creative crew.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:53 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   T.U.M.

      I’m thinking women’s prison.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   park rose bang

      Hmm, your theory lacks some conviction. I’m not having a bar of it. Mainly because of the nice smelling shampoo, and how long would it take them to wash ALL their clothes?
      Abattoir? Meat processing factory? (I know that could be a euphemism for Wade’s and JJ’s theories).

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   laurie bang

    I prefer showers, my -self – SO…

    Nov 16, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   GhostWriter bang

    Now that Herman had secretly placed mini-cams in each of his female officemate’s bathrooms, he set about the task of making them all take bubble baths. “Oh, the Christmas Party slideshow will be a big hit this year,” he thought to himself.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Palomon bang

    I’m kind of getting a vibe about this one, like a high-school prank kind of energy. I wonder if this is placed in a football locker room mocking the words of a condescending and more than slightly homophobic coach.
    Or did the middle linebacker sneak this into the girls’ lockers to taunt the poor volleyball team?
    I want to believe this is not posted in a grown-up place of business.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 11:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   jim

    I was confused by the language in the second line. At first I thought this was originally from a telegraph.

    It going to be a nice week STOP
    Everybody here smells bad STOP
    Except the men, they smell just fine STOP

    Nov 16, 2009 at 11:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Bradley

    Great call – shower on the weekends!

    Nov 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   aaa bang

    I’m a hermaphrodite. Does that mean I only have to take a three minute shower with cold water, use nasty, cheap shampoo, and can skip the deodorant?

    Nov 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Critical Grass bang

      Oh no, babe. Being a hermaphrodite you’ll have to shower twice as much. ;)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   aaa bang

      D:

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Critical Grass bang

      Aw… Don’t be like that.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   jinx

    Considering it was posted in a bathroom, I’m surprised there wasn’t anything about wiping well or something of that nature.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Palomon bang

      I got it!
      It’s a pet store or horse ranch or something like that! The writer is talking to the phillies, or the sows or whatever, prior to a 4H contest.
      Again, just hoping human beings aren’t treating each other like that.
      I keep telling you how f–king soft and delicate I am, but you a-holes think it’s a f–king joke.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 3:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   park rose bang

      I’ve been trying to work this in for quite a while Palomon, but without success. Here’s my chance.

      Yup. Horses perspire. Men sweat. Ladies glow.

      Now I have to google to check out 4H and to check if Phillies is a play on fillies? (I bet it’s football talk. That would work too).

      Also, of course, your name could be a play on Palomino (without the i). You and pony girl should hook up.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Palomon bang

      Horses get hosed down, men shower, and ladies bathe. Except these ones, I reckon.
      You get a thumb for my spelling. Wish I could tell you I was making a play on the baseball team, but that’s my big bowl of idiot flakes kicking in. I think I’ve blown any chance with PG. (Pouty face emoticon)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   park rose bang

      This one you mean :arrow: :( :?:

      Well, as for me, baseball…football… what’s the diff?
      (no,no,no, really, you don’t have to explain)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   infant tyrone bang

      Hey, Pal, ya big delicate galoot…

      Don’t give up chope (da “ch” is like in chutzpah)…

      Maybe she doesn’t let little things like fillies/Phillies stand in the way.

      But, don’t be a philistine and bring out your prized copy of The Byrds’ untitled album and start singing along to “Chestnut Mare”.

      She may not like generic beer, but she’s not a big fan of brands either.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.6   Geek Goddess

      I’m all for Palomon hooking up with pony girl, as long as I still get shotgun for the road trip.

      I’m cool with horses! (but prefer a nice dark bay myself)

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.7   Critical Grass bang

      GG, I think you should drive and let the kids have fun in the back seat.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.8   infant tyrone bang

      Palomon,

      Looks like some village elders are tryin’ to set y’all (pl.) up for somethin’.

      Lest you think that “rut” only applies to the roads you might travel if you do make that trip, think again…and watch out for dudes on Vespas.

      http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2004-14.html

      Nov 16, 2009 at 9:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.9   Palomon bang

      Inigo: Lemme e’splain…no, there’s no time to e’splain; lemme sum up.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 9:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.10   Palomon bang

      You guys! What is Pony Girl gonna say when she sees this thread? Somebody pass her a note in gym class and keep it on the down low.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.11   Geek Goddess

      it, did you just call me old?

      Nov 17, 2009 at 1:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.12   GK bang

      Careful, she’s armed and dangerous! No GG de Milo here.

      As an aside, I see whoever designed that site’s URL scheme was on contract from the Redundant Corporation (Ltd)’s Department of Redundancy Department.

      Nov 17, 2009 at 4:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.13   pony girl bang

      I can usually be had for a little sweet feed.

      Nov 17, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.14   Geek Goddess

      *adds apples to road trip shopping list*

      *hopes pg brings a curry comb and plenty of show sheen for pony baths*

      Nov 17, 2009 at 11:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.15   infant tyrone bang

      GG,
      “Old”, no…merely a figure of speech to contrast with the at least virtual youth of our potential “puppy/pony love”-affected Pal…

      Nov 17, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Err

    Well, I suppose stench travels faster in warmer weather. But if its nice on the week-end-so, what does that have to do if Monday is cold wet and rainy.

    Almost makes me want to have a hot garlic, onion and tuna fish sandwich with blue cheese for lunch at my desk.

    Except I hate blue cheese.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   John A. Rakes

    I didn’t take a job because I’d be switching from the 9th floor to the 10th floor.. which we referred to as the ‘floor of stench’. :/

    Please check out my blog: http://www.whyearthsucks.com — Help us find reasons for why the Earth sucks! –

    Nov 16, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   park rose bang

      One reason might be blatant advertising of one’s blog on someone else’s blog. No need to thank me. I’m always happy to help.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Critical Grass bang

      Hey, are you related to/close friends with the guy from the “I hate your blog” (was that it?) blog?

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   Palomon bang

      Why Earth sucks: No rings.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 6:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.4   oi bang

      Gravity

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.5   Critical Grass bang

      Only one moon.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.6   infant tyrone bang

      Hey, 4.5 billion years old…it’s still teething !

      Or if 4.5B seems old to you, it’s waiting for replacement dentures…

      Nov 16, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.7   Geek Goddess

      No red, just blue and green.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.8   Critical Grass bang

      Humans.

      Nov 16, 2009 at 8:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.9   GK bang

      I wonder if the people who do this sort of thing really are from their avowed websites. Isn’t “please visit my blog” a pretty good way to drive down traffic? I know I’ll be avoiding this blog in future, even if I happen across it elsewhere.

      Nov 17, 2009 at 4:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.10   oi bang

      me too! I hate beggars.

      Nov 17, 2009 at 11:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Tasha

    Why they gotta hate on the stink?

    Nov 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   schatze

    Where I live–Houston and Austin, TX–there are a lot of people who are trying to go green and haven’t really figured out how to do it the right way yet, so they start out by not wearing deodorant and trying to use natural everything that may or may not agree with their body chemistry. End result, there are some really funky people. Also, there are others out there who are just plain dirty…especially in hot and humid areas such as many cities in Texas…

    Nov 16, 2009 at 7:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Geek Goddess

    I think the whole office is in on who this note is directed to. Including the directee. Who doesn’t really stink, but is being bullied in a ‘we smell nicer than you’ kind of way. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies? More like Mean Girls, Mean Girls, Mean Girls.

    Nov 16, 2009 at 8:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   SickleYield

    And let’s make SURE we all have BRAS that lift and separate our BREASTS and PANTS or SKIRTS that are easily REMOVABLE. Also let’s not FORGET to take our PILLS and bring CONDOMS just in CASE.

    Nov 17, 2009 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   KC_Sunshine_Man

    I enjoy it when ladies bathe in the nice weather. Hygeine ladies hygeine!

    Nov 17, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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