Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays…

November 15th, 2009 · 150 comments

Perhaps Dirty Lady #2 got an office job?

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FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · hygiene · odor · office

150 responses so far ↓

#1 Xander

I am struggling to find an explaination for what situation this memo would apply to….

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:11 pm rating: +13

reply to this comment
- #1.1 Fresca
  
  That thought was what immediately occurred to me as well. I don’t think I want to work in any place where people need to be reminded to bathe and wash their clothes, male or female.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm rating: +18
- #1.2 JetJackson
  
  I think it’s a pep talk in the staff room of a brothel.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:24 pm rating: +63
- #1.3 karen
  
  Having played ‘cabbie’ for the carpool at times, I can completely sympathize with this one.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:59 pm rating: +2
- #1.4 Car RamRod
  
  Perhaps it’s somewhere in the third world. Why else would it require nice weather to bathe, unless you were doing it in the local water hole? Nothing like bathing in the town’s drinking water to spread cholera. It keeps the Red Cross busy.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm rating: +14
- #1.5 snuzzle
  
  Someone in the office smells, and the note writer is too much of a pansy to just come out and say it. So she had to tiptoe around it and include everyone.
  
  Of course, if the note writee is truly the type of person who needs to be reminded to bathe and wash her clothes, then she is also someone who will never be aware she stinks, and won’t know this note is for her. So the note accomplishes nothing, except making the note writer make look like an idiot.
  
  Well, so I guess it did accomplish something.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm rating: +40
- #1.6 pony girl
  
  Maybe someone’s been bathing and doing their laundry in the bathroom at work?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 1:57 am rating: +8
- #1.7 infant tyrone
  
  No doubt reducing the overall efficacy of the overworked PIPES…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:29 am rating: +5
- #1.8 park rose
  
  Cities on the Plains: The Evolution of Urban Kansas
  Xander, does this help? I couldn’t find a nation, but how about a city instead?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:33 am rating: +2
- #1.9 oi
  
  ay! ay! Car Ramrod I am with you. It’s from third world country. they bathe in the town’s drinking water only when the weather is nice. Yes, they don’t follow basic hygiene but go out and put notes in not in native language but in English so first world countries can discuss what a shameful life they are living.
  yep that sounds totally logical.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:55 am rating: +15
- #1.10 GK
  
  Oh! Oh, that zinged him oi. I saw his hair move.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:03 am rating: +9
- #1.11 Car RamRod
  
  Wow oi, someone can’t take a joke. Is the third world topic a sensitive nerve with you? Were you adopted by Angelina Jolie or perhaps through one of those Sally Struthers ads or something, and now feel guilty for leaving your brethren behind in their pit of despair?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:26 am rating: +8
- #1.12 Critical Grass
  
  Oh no, Car RamRod @ 1.4, we in the third world countries bathe in the sea or in beautiful blue lagoons. We don’t have access to piped water, like… at all!
  And when it rains… Oh, boy! You gotta see how festive it gets down here, because then everybody can shower at the same time, you know, in the streets!
  Jesus… ¬¬
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:30 am rating: +13
- #1.13 Shes Crusty
  
  Feel ya note-writer. Cmon folks, this might not be out of line depending on the degree of raunchiness. Ive smelt some bull-doggin bitches in the workplace before. Theres this chick who literally smells like she bathes in mustard pretzels and dog hair. She smokes ciggs but her breath ALWAYS smells like she just brushed her damn teeth with horse shit! Sigh, the worst is, I slept with her as an intern..
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:47 am rating: +3
- #1.14 GK
  
  Strangest part of that story: you admitted to it.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:50 am rating: +13
- #1.15 Critical Grass
  
  Why di… How coul… What wer… Nevermind. I’m just sorry for you.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: +7
- #1.16 oi
  
  aww, Car ramrod do you have degree in psychology or what? You have shown error in my way. I guess I should be more accepting in my behavior as generous first world has got me out of that dirty pit.. I should accept all kind of sense of humor too.(for example not so funny, illogical etc) See, now I am laughing so hard my eyes are watering!
  Hey CG you should also try to be adopted by somebody like Car ramrod then you would not have to wait for raining.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:55 am rating: +6
- #1.17 oi
  
  GK, do you want to be zinged too?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:56 am rating: +3
- #1.18 Shes Crusty
  
  @ 1.14 Yeah I’m not gonna brag here, but it feels great getting that one out there. Hell, I dont mind were all strangrs to eachother here, makes it real nice and easy to come out with.
  
  I can smell her everyday across the hallway though, its filthy. I was young and never slept with an older woman. She was a good suga momma for about a 2 week span though. Managed to get $500 worth of camping gear\clothes!
  
  But my pride? Dont ask…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:12 pm rating: 0
- #1.19 GK
  
  Just reading about this makes me want to take a shower…
  
  SO MUCH D-:
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:16 pm rating: +6
- #1.20 Critical Grass
  
  Oh, Shes Crusty, knowing that about you makes me fell so dirty, and not in the good way…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm rating: +5
- #1.21 pony girl
  
  1.9- Maybe English is the international language of passive-aggressive notes?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:30 pm rating: +5
- #1.22 Critical Grass
  
  Oi @ 1.16: I guess Angelina is my only hope right now. - Angelinaaaaaaaaaaa!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:41 pm rating: +5
- #1.23 Mo®
  
  Can I come over when it rains next?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 1:33 pm rating: +3
- #1.24 shes crusty
  
  Duuuudes, it was warm and wet. I was lonely, naked, and shit-covered. Her kinda guy!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 1:59 pm rating: +1
- #1.25 Critical Grass
  
  You were what?!
  Ok, now tell us everything, with details.
  
  Guess I have that ‘Car Crash Syndrome’ or something, but now I just need to know.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: +2
- #1.26 Critical Grass
  
  #1.23 You talkin’ to me?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm rating: +2
- #1.27 Mo®
  
  Maybe…depends…uummmm yeah.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:07 pm rating: +2
- #1.28 infant tyrone
  
  CG @ 1.12…
  
  What are the two things at the end of 1.12 after “Jesus…” ? Meaning?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:47 pm rating: +1
- #1.29 Geek Goddess
  
  You mean these things?
  
  “Jesus… ¬¬”
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:06 pm rating: +1
- #1.30 infant tyrone
  
  Yes, those things…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:09 pm rating: +1
- #1.31 oi
  
  Are you sure these things?
  … ¬¬
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:39 pm rating: +1
- #1.32 Palomon
  
  That’s the way you do it!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:58 pm rating: +1
- #1.33 park rose
  
  …money for nothing,
  and your chicks for free…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 5:06 pm rating: +4
- #1.34 park rose
  
  Ty @ 1.28, the staples that pinned Christ’s palms to the cross?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 5:48 pm rating: +4
- #1.35 infant tyrone
  
  Maybe, but maybe a geta aimed at ZatoIchi, who sliced it in two perfectly.
  
  Staples ? Oz-speak for spikes ? Dude had an ethereal air about him, but I think he woulda needed more than what you can buy at Office Depot.
  
  Maybe oi has some engineering tips ?
  
  OK, if we’re gonna get all Knopfler, just remember I’m the nice cop…You don’t want me to have to call in “Sargeant Sponge” and the bucket brigade.
  
  I’m just an aging drummer boy
  And in the wars I used to play
  And I’ve called the tune
  To many a torture session
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:07 pm rating: +2
- #1.36 JetJackson
  
  I need camping gear too but unfortunately no stanky sugar mommas in our office.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:14 pm rating: +4
- #1.37 Critical Grass
  
  @ Mo®: Oh, so cute…
  
  @ IT: Those are evil eyes see: ¬¬ two little eyes looking all judgemental and… Nevermind, it’s a typo.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:20 pm rating: +2
- #1.38 park rose
  
  Ty, well, he was kinda stationery once he was staked up there…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:23 pm rating: +5
- #1.39 infant tyrone
  
  Well as long as we’re pounding them out in a sacrilegious com-mode…
  
  How much money or power would a person need to be able to commission the theft of (and replacement of with a foolproof replica) the Shroud of Turin and then use said shroud in the making of a very specialized batch of Poseidon Paper?
  
  Meant to be rhetorical (and funny), but if anyone has serious thoughts about an answer, I’m all ears as soon as I get back from Flushing.
  
  But, seriously, what are those things ??
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:02 pm rating: +2
- #1.40 GK
  
  They’re “NOT” signs. OK?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 9:44 am rating: +1
- #1.41 Geek Goddess
  
  So we’ve established that they are not signs. Now we would like to know what they are.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:36 am rating: +2
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#2 Wade

It’s not often you see a brothel take the weekend off.

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm rating: +37

reply to this comment
- #2.1 JetJackson
  
  Ahh too quick for me Wade… nice.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:28 pm rating: +2
- #2.2 kdstentzel
  
  hey, even hookers need breaks now and again … or maybe i should say hookers especially need breaks now and again.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm rating: 0
- #2.3 Canthz_B
  
  You’d think they’d be broken (in) by now, huh?
  
  What I’m waiting for now is for the whores to write in and explain the difference between a whore and a hooker.
  
  They’re sensitive about that…like being a server at a posh restaurant vs. being a waitress at a truck stop.
  
  Servers are never waitresses, and whores are never hookers…but waitresses are always servers, and hookers are always whores.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 11:11 pm rating: +6
- #2.4 Palomon
  
  Ah Wade- they all got doctors’ notes telling them to get some rest, stay OUT of bed for a while.
  Bwahahahaha.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:39 am rating: +1
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#3 LuckyK

What, no douche request?

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:20 pm rating: +14

reply to this comment
- #3.1 Canthz_B
  
  I thought it was a douche request…to make.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:38 pm rating: +25
- #3.2 Critical Grass
  
  Nah, a febreze shower will do the trick.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:03 pm rating: +4
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#4 MAMARILLA2

Thank god the note writer didn’t include a request for the use of perfume/cologne as well.

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:25 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #4.1 Critical Grass
  
  She requested the use of “nice smelling” shampoo, though.
  Really, who uses a bad smelling shampoo?
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:01 pm rating: +12
- #4.2 G
  
  There are some really horrible ones out there. V05 is some nasty stuff, for example. Ugh. And yet people buy it–and if they buy it, I presume they use it.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:21 pm rating: +3
- #4.3 snuzzle
  
  I use a no-fragrance-added shampoo. Because just about all the other shampoos out there have overpowering chemical smells that make me gag.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 9:55 pm rating: +2
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#5 anglophile

All right, I will comply with your request. But I’m not shaving my legs. That’s going too far.

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:30 pm rating: +25

reply to this comment
- #5.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  At least braid the hair under your arms.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:32 pm rating: +22
- #5.2 Critical Grass
  
  Beautiful.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm rating: +2
- #5.3 Geek Goddess
  
  I like to braid my leg hair into beautiful macrame patterns.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 11:51 pm rating: +6
- #5.4 Mo®
  
  Prince Albert has dreads!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 1:38 pm rating: 0
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#6 Canthz_B

♫ I’m gonna wash that mange right outta my hair!
Gonna smell good Monday when I get here! ♫

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:37 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
#7 Canthz_B

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies

The weather is supposed to be beautiful this week -end – SO
I know you would all like to be out having a good time with your boyfriends, husbands and BFFs.
Just this once, spend your week -ends doing ALL of your laundry like me…

So you can return to work on Monday and I don’t have to hear about what people with real lives do all week -end!

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm rating: +12

reply to this comment
#8 Canthz_B

No indication as to where this note comes from.

I’ll hazard a guess and suggest it is from Funkytown.

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:54 pm rating: +15

reply to this comment
- #8.1 pony girl
  
  **Won’t you take me to
  Funkytown**
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 1:43 am rating: +1
- #8.2 pony girl
  
  Oh, and, thanks.
  Now I have that song stuck in my head.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:24 am rating: 0
- #8.3 park rose
  
  Well, PG, you talked about it, talked about it, talked about it…
  
  What do you expect?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:37 am rating: +9
- #8.4 Canthz_B
  
  Welcome to the club, PG.
  It’s been banging around my head since college!
  
  I finished that paper for Social Psych…right?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:46 am rating: +1
- #8.5 Mo®
  
  keeps me movin’, keeps me groovin’ ♬
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:10 pm rating: 0
- #8.6 Critical Grass
  
  I gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me.
  Any suggestions?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:21 pm rating: +1
- #8.7 infant tyrone
  
  Milwaukee’s the home of Briggs & Stratton…would that work for you ?
  
  If you avoid beer factory tours you can really groove with some energy.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:47 pm rating: 0
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#9 Critical Grass

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies

You stink.
That’s why all ya’ll are still single.

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:56 pm rating: +12

reply to this comment
#10 Havingfitz

Oh, thank GOD she didn’t say anything about changing a 4-day-old Always pad…

Nov 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm rating: +26

reply to this comment
- #10.1 Seanette
  
  This has to be one of the most disgusting comments I’ve ever seen here. Makes claw look tasteful.
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 10:12 pm rating: +10
- #10.2 Havingfitz
  
  Hey, if I wanted to be disgusting I’d have asked you “What’s 40 feet long and smells like urine?”
  (A conga line in a nursing home).
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 10:25 pm rating: +9
- #10.3 GK
  
  That’s bloody disgusting!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:27 am rating: +8
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#11 Bill Sodeman

[facepalm]

Nov 15, 2009 at 9:06 pm rating: 0

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#12 BlackMarketBeagle

Someone needs to stick a used maxi pad on this note. Seriously. I wish I was there right now. I’d do it.

Nov 15, 2009 at 9:06 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
- #12.1 You're crusty
  
  Were all impressed with your period and all, but chill, cmon.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:14 pm rating: +1
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#13 Yertle the Turtle

Yay! It’s been SO long since the weather has been beautiful enough to take a really GOOD Bath.

Nov 15, 2009 at 9:18 pm rating: +17

reply to this comment
- #13.1 AuntyBron
  
  What does the weather have to do with taking a bath? Don’t she know most people take their baths ( when they take them…) in their bathrooms. Or does she think they bathe in the river while beating their clothes on the rocks with lye soap?
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 10:26 pm rating: +6
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#14 MAMARILLA2

Some one finally told Sandra that the office smelled like the shithouse door on a tuna boat.

Nov 15, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: +8

reply to this comment
#15 Havingfitz

Am I the only one who would show up on Monday looking like I spent the beautiful weekend frolicking in a landfill?

Nov 15, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #15.1 Canthz_B
  
  Why business as usual?
  
  Nov 15, 2009 at 10:41 pm rating: +1
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#16 PitFiendWhips

What does good weather have to do with bathing and laundry? Sounds like the note writer had no idea how to start off the note. What about the infamous way to get one’s attention that hotels use?

“SEX!”
Now that I have your attention …

Nov 15, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #16.1 JetJackson
  
  I don’t think that would work in a brothel…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:42 pm rating: +6
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#17 Adam

…and this was posted on a Monday. Coincidence? I think not.

Nov 16, 2009 at 1:03 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #17.1 park rose
  
  Adam, considering the direction the comments have taken on this note, I wonder if you’d like to weigh in with your thoughts on that age old palindrome, Madam, I’m Adam. Do you think it should be coupled with infamous Mae West quotes ( Is that a gun in your pocket…? ), or do you think the Madam of the palindrome runs a perfectly respectful boarding house? Taking into account your obvious expertise on the topic (being Adam), curious minds would like to know.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:20 am rating: +4
- #17.2 adam
  
  I don’t really like the term Madam. For some reason I never find myself saying or thinking it.
  
  If I am trying to show respect to an elder woman I like go go for Ma’ham. (Or is it Ma’hm? It’s not Mahm. Help me out, please.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:58 am rating: 0
- #17.3 Yertle the Turtle
  
  “Ma’am,” I believe. “Ma’ham” makes me think of the way a southern woman would say “my ham” haha.
  
  “Yessir, that there’s ma’ham and I’m fixin’ t’eat it!”
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: +7
- #17.4 Critical Grass
  
  Oh Adam, it’s so nice to see that you’re not a sarcastic #$*%er like us. It’s really refreshing to see someone so… cradled in goodness. I’ll try to be more like you… Oh well, guess not, it’s too late for me, but go ahead and do your thing.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 9:45 am rating: +3
- #17.5 park rose
  
  Did your mother put those punctuation marks in your mouth, CG? She ought to be ashamed of herself.
  
  I’m thinking that Adam might have the driest or most surreal wit of us all, but the jury’s still out.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 9:49 am rating: +2
- #17.6 Critical Grass
  
  No, my mother doesn’t have anything to do with my use of punctuation marks. It’s all me. She would be ashamed if she knew, though… Sorry, mother.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:52 am rating: +1
- #17.7 Palomon
  
  “Ma’am” is a contraction of “Madame,” isn’t it?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:54 am rating: +2
- #17.8 mystic_eye
  
  Yes, but don’t ask what happened to the “e”, you don’t want to know.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:36 am rating: +2
- #17.9 adam
  
  “Able was I ere I saw Elba”
  “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.”
  “Bird rib”
  “Borrow or rob?”
  “Don’t nod”
  “Drawn inward”
  “Dump mud”
  “Go dog”
  “I did, did I?”
  “I prefer pi.”
  “Lepers repel”
  “Madam, I’m Adam.”
  “Ma has a ham.”
  “My gym.”
  “Never odd or even”
  “No lemon, no melon.”
  “Now I won.”
  “Nurses run.”
  “Race car”
  “Top spot”
  “Tuna nut”
  “Was it a cat I saw?”
  
  These are all pretty silly. Would love to see these actually worked into a convo, though it would be forced for sure.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:04 pm rating: +7
- #17.10 GK
  
  Why adam, you little saippuakuppinippukauppias, you!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: +5
- #17.11 Critical Grass
  
  Oh, Adam… ♥
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 1:02 pm rating: +3
- #17.12 Mo®
  
  http://www.enchantedlearning.com/english/palindromes/
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:13 pm rating: +3
- #17.13 adam
  
  Hey, we googled the same thing! Small world.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:01 pm rating: +2
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#18 pony girl

Are these people living in 1748?
Why would they need nice weather to bathe?

Nov 16, 2009 at 1:36 am rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #18.1 Palomon
  
  No, they live across the hall in 1749. Place always smells like fish and cabbage and hemp. Stinks up the whole hallway. They refuse to use electricity or propane or oil. Solar heated showers only, hence the whole weather thing.
  It ain’t easy bein’ green.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:38 am rating: +19
- #18.2 Swwoodsy
  
  LMAO, Palomon.
  
  I think I used to live down the hall from them. But maybe not — my neighbors were big fans of the Nag Champa incense, too.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:07 am rating: +1
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#19 pony girl

I thought that the punchline was going to be, “So that you ladies don’t have to pour a gallon of perfume on every morning and stink up the elevator.”
This note is worse.
Just, eeewww.
Fire the stinky-ass person, I say.

Nov 16, 2009 at 1:37 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #19.1 park rose
  
  I thought firing the stinky-ass person was a rite de passage* for teenage boys and frat house members the nation over.
  
  *”Rite de passage! rite de passage!” urged, newly arrived from Japan, Hiroshi. He’d never had so much fun with matches and farts.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:27 am rating: +4
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#20 Palomon

Is the weather “suppose” to make bathing easier, or are we to suppose that the warm weather will cause extra sweating and a greater need for bathing?

Nov 16, 2009 at 2:28 am rating: +2

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#21 windy

this one’s really bizarre. and bitchy. i’m so curious about what type of workplace it is. all women? transvestite strippers maybe, what? anything that starts with ladies! or please ladies is just gonna be wrong. i’m with havingfitz. seriously, most women are pretty clean.

Nov 16, 2009 at 4:30 am rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #21.1 park rose
  
  Okay, you’ve sold me. It’s actually the first draft for the Beastie Boys’ Hey Ladies.
  
  The capitals are where the stress is, or where the lyrics run off or enjamb on the original.
  
  Ladies, Ladies, Ladies,
  The weather is suppose to be beautiful this week – end SO!
  Let’s all take this chance to take really GOOD
  baths using
  lots of SOAP and HOT WATER and washing OUR HAIR
  shampoo with care, let’s
  ALL use really good DE-ODE-ER-RANTS,
  scent on a stick SWEET and SLICK,
  and not to forget to wash ALL OUR CLOTHES,
  so we return on Monday smelling NICE and CLEAN, you’re the passionate ones remember where YOU’VE BEEN
  Well, you know how it goes. Nothing like the eventual song. Genius, one tenth inspiration, nine-tenths perspiration, which explains the need for deodorant. They work with a creative crew.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:53 am rating: +18
- #21.2 T.U.M.
  
  I’m thinking women’s prison.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:20 pm rating: +3
- #21.3 park rose
  
  Hmm, your theory lacks some conviction. I’m not having a bar of it. Mainly because of the nice smelling shampoo, and how long would it take them to wash ALL their clothes?
  Abattoir? Meat processing factory? (I know that could be a euphemism for Wade’s and JJ’s theories).
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:06 pm rating: +2
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#22 laurie

I prefer showers, my -self – SO…

Nov 16, 2009 at 9:47 am rating: +1

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#23 GhostWriter

Now that Herman had secretly placed mini-cams in each of his female officemate’s bathrooms, he set about the task of making them all take bubble baths. “Oh, the Christmas Party slideshow will be a big hit this year,” he thought to himself.

Nov 16, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: +9

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#24 Palomon

I’m kind of getting a vibe about this one, like a high-school prank kind of energy. I wonder if this is placed in a football locker room mocking the words of a condescending and more than slightly homophobic coach.
Or did the middle linebacker sneak this into the girls’ lockers to taunt the poor volleyball team?
I want to believe this is not posted in a grown-up place of business.

Nov 16, 2009 at 11:10 am rating: +1

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#25 jim

I was confused by the language in the second line. At first I thought this was originally from a telegraph.

It going to be a nice week STOP
Everybody here smells bad STOP
Except the men, they smell just fine STOP

Nov 16, 2009 at 11:54 am rating: +4

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#26 Bradley

Great call – shower on the weekends!

Nov 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm rating: 0

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#27 aaa

I’m a hermaphrodite. Does that mean I only have to take a three minute shower with cold water, use nasty, cheap shampoo, and can skip the deodorant?

Nov 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: +1

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- #27.1 Critical Grass
  
  Oh no, babe. Being a hermaphrodite you’ll have to shower twice as much.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm rating: +5
- #27.2 aaa
  
  D:
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:09 pm rating: +1
- #27.3 Critical Grass
  
  Aw… Don’t be like that.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:12 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#28 jinx

Considering it was posted in a bathroom, I’m surprised there wasn’t anything about wiping well or something of that nature.

Nov 16, 2009 at 2:25 pm rating: +1

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- #28.1 Palomon
  
  I got it!
  It’s a pet store or horse ranch or something like that! The writer is talking to the phillies, or the sows or whatever, prior to a 4H contest.
  Again, just hoping human beings aren’t treating each other like that.
  I keep telling you how f–king soft and delicate I am, but you a-holes think it’s a f–king joke.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 3:46 pm rating: +1
- #28.2 park rose
  
  I’ve been trying to work this in for quite a while Palomon, but without success. Here’s my chance.
  
  Yup. Horses perspire. Men sweat. Ladies glow.
  
  Now I have to google to check out 4H and to check if Phillies is a play on fillies? (I bet it’s football talk. That would work too).
  
  Also, of course, your name could be a play on Palomino (without the i). You and pony girl should hook up.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 4:58 pm rating: +4
- #28.3 Palomon
  
  Horses get hosed down, men shower, and ladies bathe. Except these ones, I reckon.
  You get a thumb for my spelling. Wish I could tell you I was making a play on the baseball team, but that’s my big bowl of idiot flakes kicking in. I think I’ve blown any chance with PG. (Pouty face emoticon)
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:37 pm rating: +2
- #28.4 park rose
  
  This one you mean
  
  Well, as for me, baseball…football… what’s the diff?
  (no,no,no, really, you don’t have to explain)
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:51 pm rating: +4
- #28.5 infant tyrone
  
  Hey, Pal, ya big delicate galoot…
  
  Don’t give up chope (da “ch” is like in chutzpah)…
  
  Maybe she doesn’t let little things like fillies/Phillies stand in the way.
  
  But, don’t be a philistine and bring out your prized copy of The Byrds’ untitled album and start singing along to “Chestnut Mare”.
  
  She may not like generic beer, but she’s not a big fan of brands either.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:01 pm rating: +2
- #28.6 Geek Goddess
  
  I’m all for Palomon hooking up with pony girl, as long as I still get shotgun for the road trip.
  
  I’m cool with horses! (but prefer a nice dark bay myself)
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:15 pm rating: +2
- #28.7 Critical Grass
  
  GG, I think you should drive and let the kids have fun in the back seat.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:43 pm rating: +2
- #28.8 infant tyrone
  
  Palomon,
  
  Looks like some village elders are tryin’ to set y’all (pl.) up for somethin’.
  
  Lest you think that “rut” only applies to the roads you might travel if you do make that trip, think again…and watch out for dudes on Vespas.
  
  http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2004-14.html
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: +1
- #28.9 Palomon
  
  Inigo: Lemme e’splain…no, there’s no time to e’splain; lemme sum up.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 9:22 pm rating: 0
- #28.10 Palomon
  
  You guys! What is Pony Girl gonna say when she sees this thread? Somebody pass her a note in gym class and keep it on the down low.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 9:36 pm rating: +2
- #28.11 Geek Goddess
  
  it, did you just call me old?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:59 am rating: +2
- #28.12 GK
  
  Careful, she’s armed and dangerous! No GG de Milo here.
  
  As an aside, I see whoever designed that site’s URL scheme was on contract from the Redundant Corporation (Ltd)’s Department of Redundancy Department.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:15 am rating: +3
- #28.13 pony girl
  
  I can usually be had for a little sweet feed.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 9:20 am rating: +2
- #28.14 Geek Goddess
  
  *adds apples to road trip shopping list*
  
  *hopes pg brings a curry comb and plenty of show sheen for pony baths*
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:40 am rating: +2
- #28.15 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  “Old”, no…merely a figure of speech to contrast with the at least virtual youth of our potential “puppy/pony love”-affected Pal…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#29 Err

Well, I suppose stench travels faster in warmer weather. But if its nice on the week-end-so, what does that have to do if Monday is cold wet and rainy.

Almost makes me want to have a hot garlic, onion and tuna fish sandwich with blue cheese for lunch at my desk.

Except I hate blue cheese.

Nov 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm rating: +1

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#30 John A. Rakes

I didn’t take a job because I’d be switching from the 9th floor to the 10th floor.. which we referred to as the ‘floor of stench’. :/

Please check out my blog: http://www.whyearthsucks.com — Help us find reasons for why the Earth sucks! –

Nov 16, 2009 at 4:59 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #30.1 park rose
  
  One reason might be blatant advertising of one’s blog on someone else’s blog. No need to thank me. I’m always happy to help.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 5:02 pm rating: +8
- #30.2 Critical Grass
  
  Hey, are you related to/close friends with the guy from the “I hate your blog” (was that it?) blog?
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:27 pm rating: +2
- #30.3 Palomon
  
  Why Earth sucks: No rings.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 6:53 pm rating: +5
- #30.4 oi
  
  Gravity
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:03 pm rating: +6
- #30.5 Critical Grass
  
  Only one moon.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:08 pm rating: +7
- #30.6 infant tyrone
  
  Hey, 4.5 billion years old…it’s still teething !
  
  Or if 4.5B seems old to you, it’s waiting for replacement dentures…
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 7:42 pm rating: +5
- #30.7 Geek Goddess
  
  No red, just blue and green.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:17 pm rating: +4
- #30.8 Critical Grass
  
  Humans.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 8:46 pm rating: +2
- #30.9 GK
  
  I wonder if the people who do this sort of thing really are from their avowed websites. Isn’t “please visit my blog” a pretty good way to drive down traffic? I know I’ll be avoiding this blog in future, even if I happen across it elsewhere.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:51 am rating: +1
- #30.10 oi
  
  me too! I hate beggars.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:39 am rating: 0
add to this thread
#31 Tasha

Why they gotta hate on the stink?

Nov 16, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: +2

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#32 schatze

Where I live–Houston and Austin, TX–there are a lot of people who are trying to go green and haven’t really figured out how to do it the right way yet, so they start out by not wearing deodorant and trying to use natural everything that may or may not agree with their body chemistry. End result, there are some really funky people. Also, there are others out there who are just plain dirty…especially in hot and humid areas such as many cities in Texas…

Nov 16, 2009 at 7:15 pm rating: +2

reply to this comment
#33 Geek Goddess

I think the whole office is in on who this note is directed to. Including the directee. Who doesn’t really stink, but is being bullied in a ‘we smell nicer than you’ kind of way. Ladies, Ladies, Ladies? More like Mean Girls, Mean Girls, Mean Girls.

Nov 16, 2009 at 8:20 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
#34 SickleYield

And let’s make SURE we all have BRAS that lift and separate our BREASTS and PANTS or SKIRTS that are easily REMOVABLE. Also let’s not FORGET to take our PILLS and bring CONDOMS just in CASE.

Nov 17, 2009 at 2:08 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#35 KC_Sunshine_Man

I enjoy it when ladies bathe in the nice weather. Hygeine ladies hygeine!

Nov 17, 2009 at 9:36 pm rating: 0

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painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays…

November 15th, 2009 · 150 comments

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