Ever wonder why Facebook doesn’t come with a “dislike” button?

November 16th, 2009 · 172 comments

Maybe ’cause it would only draw more attention to douche-canoes like these.

extra credit: how to add a dislike button to facebook [lifehacker]

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FILED UNDER: cry me a fuckin' river · facebook

172 responses so far ↓

#1 Havingfitz

Because everyone knows that not posting pictures of someone’s small children online without their knowledge or permission is Facebook code for “I hate your guts.”

Nov 16, 2009 at 9:34 pm rating: +109

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- #1.1 Critical Grass
  
  Likes this.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 9:37 pm rating: +20
- #1.2 JetJackson
  
  Disl… Damn it!
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:34 pm rating: +15
- #1.3 Palomon
  
  Likes CG.
  Not in a a gay way, like in a prison way.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:19 am rating: +12
- #1.4 park rose
  
  You mean in a Strangeways? or not? (your comment, ironically [or not] swings both ways).
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 7:03 am rating: +4
- #1.5 Princess Buttercup
  
  LOL, that’s exactly why I sent it in. I don’t really know the girl, she’s on my “play” acct.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 9:46 am rating: +1
- #1.6 Critical Grass
  
  @ 1.3 Too bad… I like you in a gay way, Palomon.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:34 am rating: +3
- #1.7 infant tyrone
  
  Possible Eruption into Bi-Cyber-Twister Alert…Approach with Caution
  
  *scratching head about exactly what way “prison way” is*
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:50 pm rating: +1
- #1.8 Car RamRod
  
  I’m guessing it means you get a pass for what goes on prison. Kinda like the old “what happens in vegas…” phenomenon.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:59 pm rating: +2
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#2 leftfoot

I love how the more we become “connected” through social media, everyone becomes infinitely more self-important.

It’s truly human devolution at it’s best.

Nov 16, 2009 at 9:46 pm rating: +33

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- #2.1 Palomon
  
  Humans are still evolving, LF. The other primates are on Face Book bitching about other people not paying them enough attention.
  Then there’s us, not on Face Book, bitching about…wait a minute! Your post is simply a ruse! You ruser.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:27 am rating: +8
- #2.2 park rose
  
  She rused you and she rused you good. I think you need to make a cut in your anti-facebook friends’ list…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:21 am rating: +9
- #2.3 Palomon
  
  Is it “ruser” or “rusist”?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 10:41 am rating: 0
- #2.4 leftfoot
  
  rusee, ruser, rusist, rusimos, rusen.
  
  Sadly, I gave into peer pressure and am on FB and experience the onslaught of “I’m a whiny ass bia! Pay attention to me!” hourly.
  
  I hate high school friends.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:27 pm rating: +4
- #2.5 infant tyrone
  
  Send ‘em a link to Bill Withers’ home page and just say no more…
  
  http://www.billwithersmusic.com/index1.cfm
  
  You just keep on rusin’ me
  Until you ruse me up
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:54 pm rating: +2
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#3 Adam

Yes, PAN is serving facebook today!

Jay’s self-comment is priceless.

Nov 16, 2009 at 9:52 pm rating: +3

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#4 shesajem

whinge whinge whinge. seriously if you have a problem with someone – talk to them. don’t post stupid facebook status updates. sooo immature!

Nov 16, 2009 at 9:57 pm rating: +10

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#5 Wade

I think Jack’s mom knows the disappointment of paying the price for an evening.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:03 pm rating: +27

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- #5.1 park rose
  
  accidents will happen.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm rating: +4
- #5.2 Canthz_B
  
  While his mom was pregnant she was a Jack-in-the-Box.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:07 am rating: +11
- #5.3 Lenny!
  
  I’m thinking he was conceived at a Jack-in-The-Box. It was an all too convenient name.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:35 am rating: +2
- #5.4 GK
  
  His dad’s name was Jack too, so he was also conceived by a Jack-in-the-box.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:38 am rating: +2
- #5.5 park rose
  
  Well, a John can be a Jack, too, so it could be Jack (John) the John she met at Jack-in-the-box, and what he did was similar to, well, you know, jacking off in her box (as GK succinctly put it), and I’m sure once Jack was born, or at least once he grew up, she was well and truly jacked off, too.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:22 am rating: +7
- #5.6 GK
  
  I didn’t want to start pretending I was too familiar with John. To be honest, I don’t know Jack.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:52 am rating: +10
- #5.7 infant tyrone
  
  GK…
  Don’t worry, we’re focused on Jack’s Mom’s familiarity with Jack Sr.
  
  rose…
  “Jack (John) the John” condensed into “John John” in my head, which brought into play memories of how folks in U.S.A. used to have black velvet paintings of JFK +/or MLK hung in living/dining rooms as political/sexual homages (Elvis’ BVP’s were seldom political, unless you count shaking hands with Nixon), which led me to Caroline Kennedy getting screwed out of being Senator from New York (perhaps she ‘jacked herself off’ out of it, depending on your POV), which led me to thinking that although “Jack (John) the John” was primum mobile, but tumbling down stairs (ala Mildred Dunnock in “Kiss of Death”) was my doing…
  (notice any absences here?)
  
  Here’s your writing prompt: Compare and contrast staircase scene of either Martin Balsam (in “Psycho”) or Mildred Dunnock (In “Kiss of Death”) with Alfred Jarry’s “The Passion Considered as an Uphill Bicycle Race” or J.G. Ballard’s “The Assassination of John F. Kennedy Considered as a Downhill Motor Race”.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:32 am rating: 0
- #5.8 park rose
  
  Yep. You can’t get away with deleting it.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: +1
- #5.9 Geek Goddess
  
  I have no idea what it means, but he certainly said it impressively.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 2:16 am rating: +3
- #5.10 park rose
  
  I’m with you on that, GG, but I got a bit of an inside run.
  I just think an article is required before ‘rest’ and ‘tumble’ But I’m just being picky. (Ty has a task before him that his posts have to make a modicum of sense, but he’s not allowed to use articles, determiners, plurals and so on. Titles in quotation marks are exempt
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 3:55 am rating: +2
- #5.11 GK
  
  If nothing else, we can print it out and use it as tasteful and intriguing wallpaper.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 4:19 am rating: +5
- #5.12 infant tyrone
  
  Y’all, it’s just an occasional self-handicap I put on myself as an exercise for me and hopefully an amusement for someone else. Not every post.
  
  This one only had a couple of articles removed, and I just re-edited it to make the down-stairs-tumble less awkward.
  
  Maybe primum mobile should have a “the”… but the “the” is implied in the Latin, so…I’ll use my papal dispensation…no articles in Latin.
  
  GK, I was thinking of commissioning Steranko to do a limited edition comic, maybe with it all a drug-fueled dream of Nick Fury’s while he’s at Bethesda recuperating from some got-it-while-saving-the-world injury.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 5:25 am rating: +1
- #5.13 GK
  
  You know the saying: A fool is not a complete fool unless he can speak Latin.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 6:11 am rating: +3
- #5.14 oi
  
  I love dear treacalized treat!
  i know it’s not a real word but you won’t get it. sorry, inside joke.
  yeah I too hate them.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:36 am rating: +2
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#6 bowloftoast

The fact that each of these comments were screenshot within an hour of going up should let each of these people know that their facebook friends are paying attention…but just don’t otherwise give a shit.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:06 pm rating: +36

reply to this comment
- #6.1 Blazed.. Again.
  
  Two-Face Book
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:07 pm rating: +8
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#7 park rose

I guess number two will never know.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:07 pm rating: +1

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#8 Lori

Note: adding “lol” at the end of an awkward sentence only makes it more awkward.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:08 pm rating: +44

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- #8.1 Palomon
  
  Yes! It’s the cyber version of the nervous laugh. I also love “no big deal” before or after a whiny complaint, like bitching and then declaring that it’s not a big deal resolves the situation.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: +6
- #8.2 Heard That!
  
  just sayin..
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:53 pm rating: +4
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#9 Yertle the Turtle

The most PA part of the “Beck” post? I bet they weren’t even invited to the party. But, they showed up anyway, so the “friends” protested by deliberately taking pictures of everyone else EXCEPT for them. THAT’LL show ‘em!

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:08 pm rating: +2

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- #9.1 park rose
  
  In Beck’s own immortal words, I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me? Complaint dismissed.
  
  Nov 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm rating: +8
- #9.2 Woman on the Verge
  
  I do so love you, rose. I was playing that song all day yesterday….
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:18 am rating: +2
- #9.3 park rose
  
  Thanks, WotV… I’m all abashed.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:23 am rating: +1
- #9.4 Aww
  
  I like people who are friendly, love comes in many forms. Now if only people saw that love was more than a man and a woman…
  
  I feel a bit spacy, just blazin and thinkin..
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:11 pm rating: +1
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#10 anglophile

God, I hope Beck isn’t home-schooling those little kids.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:18 pm rating: +2

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- #10.1 Canthz_B
  
  So do me! What was she drinken?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:09 am rating: +5
- #10.2 Critical Grass
  
  i do not know but i guess she is on adderall or some thing and i thought that every keyboard came with punctuation signs guess i was wrong oh well
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:50 am rating: +5
- #10.3 watchtower
  
  Who do you take to the Home-School Dance?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: +2
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#11 park rose

Something tells me that even if all of Jack’s friends threw him the most sublime party in the universe he would find something wrong with it.
Yeah, but you guys…I told you I wanted blue balloons, and you got light blue and dark blue balloons. Everyone’s known since I was five that I like just blue balloons. No-one ever listens to me or gets it right. Goes off to the corner to weep copiously and self-righteously.

I think Jack should invite Jay to his party, or give him the task of organising it. Jay is a good person, after all. Oh what fun they’d have regaling each other with their stories of woe, and then bitching to their friends (if they have any left) about each other after.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: +26

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- #11.1 Geek Goddess
  
  Yes, but then the entire cyber-universe would have to listen to them whine about each other after the inevitable 6 month break up.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 2:05 am rating: +7
- #11.2 Emily
  
  I was thinking the same thing. Every parent that gives their kids $500+ parties at all the latest “cool” party places every year needs to focus on Jack’s comment.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 2:13 pm rating: +2
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#12 Impressed.

I am so amazed at the outbreak of hubris that I can’t even summon a PAN-comment-worthy comment. Damn.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:30 pm rating: 0

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#13 Impressed.

I am so amazed by the outbreak of hubris that I can’t even summon a PAN-comment-worthy comment. Damn.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:30 pm rating: +5

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- #13.1 infant tyrone
  
  Impressed…
  Yes…but, hubris (back in the day) was reserved for rich and powerful folks who did extra mean + cruel things or else heroic figures who challenged the gods in some way.
  
  For FB, we need something like Hubris-Lite.
  An online translator gave me κατωτέρω-hubris (below hubris).
  Whatcha think?
  Anyone have an English translation for that? Bueller?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:47 am rating: +2
- #13.2 mamason
  
  Ewww… I had a sudden outbreak of hubris once. Luckily there’s an ointment for that.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm rating: +7
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#14 JetJackson

Facebook only needs two more buttons… ’stalk’ and ’sex request’…. because sometimes being facebook friends just isn’t enough!

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: +30

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- #14.1 snee
  
  what facebook really needs is a ‘douche-canoe’ button.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:24 am rating: +34
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#15 jbles

Explain myself!? I was…uh, working! No, no…going to my college classes! Not good enough? Um, I was…Oh, now I remember.

Talking to people in the real world. And reading PAN.

Nov 16, 2009 at 10:50 pm rating: +15

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- #15.1 Palomon
  
  Shirley: Jeff, are you going to her party tonight?
  
  Jeff: No, I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:31 am rating: +21
- #15.2 chrys
  
  I really hope I can remember this.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:20 pm rating: 0
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#16 Palomon

Am I the last guy not on FB? My main exposure to it is here, on PAN.
This is simply 21st century note-passing. Self-absorbed a-holes are self-absorbed a-holes, whether online, in the pub or carving whiny pictures on cave walls.

Nov 16, 2009 at 11:08 pm rating: +10

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- #16.1 GK
  
  Me too! We should start up a social networking site for people who aren’t interested in — wait, never mind.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:34 am rating: +18
- #16.2 Palomon
  
  GK! You just made my “Do Not Kill in a Fit of Rage List.” Sort of like a Christmas card list. You sexy thing.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 10:27 am rating: +6
- #16.3 infant tyrone
  
  Palomon + GK…
  
  Y’all’re invited to participate in the beta version of GetOutaMyFaceBook.
  
  Rollout scheduled for 12/25/09 @ OldCrustyGeezersOnABadDay.com,
  a wholly pwned division of Curmudgeons International.
  
  Create you own User ID.
  Initial password = Scrooge
  For Admin status you’ll need another Admin’s #…Use mine, it’s #17.
  
  Edit: There goes the goldmine…someone in Bellevue is camping on the getoutamyfacebook.com domain name.
  Although oldcrustygeezersonabadday.com returns 1 (one) google hit (to here)….a singularity.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:24 pm rating: +1
- #16.4 clumber
  
  Be sure to send a non-invite to me as well. I have successfully ignored at least a few dozen guilt-trips from ~~prats~~ ~~twits~~ errr… acquaintances from high school who are “dying to get back in touch” with me.
  
  Ummm…. guess why you haven’t been in contact with me for 20 years? Yep.
  
  Facebook ~~fri~~days tend to confuse me on PAN… who do i read first? Who is responding to… gah! I don’t even care – they are all DoucheWaffles!
  
  Long live the SocialNetwork Luddites!
  
  Clumber, having a really pissy asswad sort of day… anyone else think that there isn’t enough O2 available or something? Hypoxia is the only thing that would explain the level of idiot swamping my work day today….
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 3:10 pm rating: +4
- #16.5 The cap'm
  
  GK: How about an antisocial networking site? I’ve been tossing that idea around in my head for a while now, ever since I started getting friend requests from high school classmates that I wasn’t even friends with. I wasn’t a real friend with you then, why would I want to be a fake friend with you now, and read all your inane ramblings?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 5:51 pm rating: 0
- #16.6 infant tyrone
  
  To all of y’all on this #15 bus…
  
  Feel free to viralize this to anybody wanting you to do anything connected with Facebook…
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 6:28 pm rating: +3
- #16.7 pony girl
  
  15.6
  bookmarked!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 7:11 pm rating: 0
- #16.8 Critical Grass
  
  Are you fucking kidding me?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 7:23 pm rating: +2
- #16.9 infant tyrone
  
  Not remotely kidding…
  
  I sent this to a wide assortment of friends some months ago.
  
  Got an email 2 days later from an old college girlfriend who said that exactly the same thing had happened to her earlier this year. Amazing.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 8:04 pm rating: +1
- #16.10 Critical Grass
  
  Yeah… I don’t have a Facebook account, but I have an Orkut account and the same thing happened to me 2 months ago.
  
  Wanna know the best part? I sent the link of that video to the person in response to the “friend request”.
  
  Let’s just say I learned a lot of new ‘adjectives’ that day.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 9:24 pm rating: +3
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#17 bcteagirl

Because friends who have better things to do than be on facebook weekly aren’t real friends at all! *message brought to you by the makers of facebook*

Nov 16, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: +6

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#18 Kayloo

I can’t stand whiners. If you think I’m talking about you, I might be.

Nov 16, 2009 at 11:54 pm rating: +20

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#19 Canthz_B

Looks like Jay’s money has run out so now so have his “friends”.
Paying everyone’s way isn’t the right thing if you want real friends.
It doesn’t make you a good person, Jay… it makes you a sucker.

Nov 17, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: +3

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#20 Ixita

I’m not on facebook, so I’m not really familiar with its acceptable customs, but does it really not embarrass the person to post messages like these? I would be mortified to be associated with any of these sentiments.

Nov 17, 2009 at 12:21 am rating: +5

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- #20.1 Beanster
  
  it embarasses normal people ixita.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 10:31 am rating: +5
- #20.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  I think the drawback here is that the majority of the avid posters on Facebook are far from normal.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:29 pm rating: +2
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#21 Eden

Its so true, just ended a two year friendship over a status message VERY similiar to the ones above. The person said, “well I’m sorry if you got offended, you weren’t supposed to…but if it got a response, then maybe it was worth it”. Punching someone in the head will usually get a response too, but probably isn’t the best idea either.

Nov 17, 2009 at 3:27 am rating: +14

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- #21.1 GK
  
  Oddly enough, a punch in the head is exactly tje sort of response this kind of thing would draw from me. Go figure, huh?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:28 am rating: +3
- #21.2 Palomon
  
  You are bringing out the woman in me.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 10:29 am rating: +2
- #21.3 infant tyrone
  
  Hey, y’all…you Young Americans with your Bowie references*…
  
  “And, ain’t there a woman I can sock on the jaw?”
  
  …get a room…or a suite…
  
  *NTTAWWT (the references, not the sock)
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 11:55 am rating: 0
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#22 Makya

Yikes, makes one yearn for the good old days before all “social” interaction took place in front of one’s computer.

Nov 17, 2009 at 5:29 am rating: +1

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- #22.1 mamason
  
  I love my computer. All of my friends live in it. *courtesy of Facebook “flair” app*
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm rating: +3
- #22.2 pony girl
  
  Tell that to all the people I see at Town Lake, Zilker, and the veloway. Sometimes I wish more of them would keep all of their social interaction at home.
  (with all due respect to LadyBird, I still call it town lake, y’all should be happy I stopped insisting on calling it the Colorado River. Seeing as it is NOT a lake, and it IS the Colorado river.)
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:33 pm rating: +4
- #22.3 infant tyrone
  
  PG,
  
  Having seen Austin as early as 1967 and as recently as last week, I’m surprised they haven’t renamed that part of the Colorado…Towne Lake.
  
  Don’t know if doing so would help ease the congestion and bring in fewer, but more pretentious, Austintatious-ites…just an idea.
  
  Stay warm, y’all…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 5:49 pm rating: 0
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#23 FigureEights

I think I know why these people don’t have any real friends.

Nov 17, 2009 at 5:41 am rating: +3

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#24 wicked opinion

What a bunch of whiny, pathetic losers! Hey, no one likes you because you are whiny, pathetic losers! Der.

Nov 17, 2009 at 6:35 am rating: +2

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#25 Gunderson105

Who would want to be friends with a bunch of people that can’t even post a profile picture without it being out of focus?

Nov 17, 2009 at 7:24 am rating: +4

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- #25.1 GK
  
  Yeah, and the sun looks totally photoshopped in on the first and third pictures.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:08 am rating: +11
- #25.2 mamason
  
  *pssssst! You realize that Kerry docs the pics to maintain peoples anonymizationosity, right?*
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:45 pm rating: +4
- #25.3 Gunderson105
  
  But why should the stupid need to remain anonymous? Isn’t it our civic duty to out them, even just for the sake of knowing who not to breed with?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:01 pm rating: +4
- #25.4 Geek Goddess
  
  If you can’t figure out who the stupid are before you breed with them, you might want to consider whether you are smart enough to breed at all.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 3:55 pm rating: +5
- #25.5 park rose
  
  It’s the age-old conundrum though, isn’t it GG?
  
  A surge of testosterone and the fostering of intelligence – kind of mutually exclusive.
  
  Nov 20, 2009 at 6:40 pm rating: +2
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#26 KatieMB

@ second FB excerpt:

Um, if I’ve blocked you to avoid your random ramblings, how would I be able see your roll call request regarding the blocking of your random ramblings?

Nov 17, 2009 at 8:15 am rating: +5

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- #26.1 GK
  
  Most likely she’s wanting those who can read it to sound off, and then she can deduce which ones have blocked her by a process of elimination. It’s elementary, my dear Katie.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:19 am rating: +3
- #26.2 KatieMB
  
  Ah you’re giving her more credit that I did.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:21 am rating: +1
- #26.3 park rose
  
  Katie, I didn’t give her credit way up at comment 7, but I don’t think I stated it clearly enough. Perhaps. Maybe the comment just wasn’t worth loving. *sigh* Probably just my usual ~~obstetrician~~ obfuscation coming in to play.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:48 pm rating: +2
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#27 Stephanie

No, Jay being a good person isn’t enough. If you want people to like you, you have to guilt trip them on Facebook, DUH!

Nov 17, 2009 at 9:22 am rating: +3

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#28 Sara

Actually, you can get a “dislike” add-on from Firefox: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/search?q=facebook+dislike&cat=all&sourceid=Mozilla-search

Nov 17, 2009 at 9:32 am rating: +1

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- #28.1 pedantico
  
  Uh, you mean that same add-on that’s referenced in the “extra credit” link called “how to add a dislike button to facebook”?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:07 pm rating: +2
- #28.2 Critical Grass
  
  Yes! That’s the one. Freaky coincidence, huh?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:25 pm rating: +3
- #28.3 infant tyrone
  
  Hey CG,
  
  Just our luck, huh?
  Neither of us (or Palomon or GK, from the sound of it) has a Facebook account and here we are running into not just one, but two, serious Facebook technical resources right here on PAN.
  
  If we didn’t have PAN, I’d be tempted…but not much…and we have PAN.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:40 pm rating: +1
- #28.4 Critical Grass
  
  Oh well, Ty… All in a day…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 9:00 pm rating: +1
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#29 M L

Re: Jack’s birthday

My mum gently broke the unfortunate news to me years ago, in junior high, that when you get older nobody but your family really *cares* that it’s your birthday. Harsh, yes, but she’s right of course, and she gave me a head start on not becoming a Jack.

Seriously, dude, if you want to do something fun on your birthday, organize a pub trip or bowling outing. Don’t expect your friends to throw you an amazing surprise party all on their own. Also: you probably won’t get any actual presents. Sorry.

Nov 17, 2009 at 9:36 am rating: +5

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- #29.1 SIGH..
  
  It wouldnt matter if unconditional love reigned supreme in this world. Then the one joyus day in which we were born wouldnt be so much different than any other. What if you could express freely, love, without fearing rejection from anyone, ever?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:37 pm rating: 0
- #29.2 SIGH..
  
  Keep in mind, true love is’nt confined to the restrictions of a man and a woman. Or even love between siblings.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
- #29.3 pony girl
  
  um, are you lost?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 2:59 pm rating: +5
- #29.4 mamason
  
  It’s not my problem if you fear rejection. I freely express love without fear, everyday. That’s what makes it unconditional. The whole, “love between siblings” has me a bit nervous about what site you think you’re on, but whatever. I love you. ♥
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:27 pm rating: +4
- #29.5 infant tyrone
  
  SIGH..
  
  “…is’nt confined to the restrictions…”
  
  1) “is’nt” should be “isn’t” if you wanna be Standard English (adj.).
  You could make a case for is’n't, but then you’d have to say would’n't, could’n't, and should’n't ; the resulting carpal tunnel workman’s comp claims would have a mischief of Mario’s deployed by Geico to terminate your personal ass so fast it’d make your head swim…con i pesci…
  
  2) “…confined to the restrictions of…” ?
  How ’bout “confined to the restrictive case of only…”?
  That way you can enthuse at or cavort with whatever you want.
  
  Unlike Mamason, I’m not nervous, but I am curious about whether you’re proposing brother(s) + brother(s), sister(s) + sister(s), one or more of each…noticing the glaring absence of the word “two” in your comments.
  
  And just as a gedankenexperiment, are you saying that your ideal world would entail the possibility of Mother Theresa waking up on her 87th birthday (O! Joyous Day!), deciding she’d had enough abstinence, picking you (SIGH) out of a database, deciding that she was going to express all kinds of unrestricted love on your person, and feeling all so lucky that she didn’t have any need to fear rejection from you??
  
  If you’re OK with that, and not just restricting it to agape, then I’m agape.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 5:10 pm rating: +2
- #29.6 mamason
  
  Agape? It’s all Greek to me.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:02 pm rating: +7
- #29.7 Critical Grass
  
  *Gets a little misty-eyed reading SIGH’s comments, grabs the hand of the person right next to her and starts singing on the top of her lungs:
  “One love
  One blood
  One life
  You got to do what you should”*
  
  Oh.. sigh…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:43 pm rating: +6
- #29.8 infant tyrone
  
  CG,
  
  On second thought, you might be a little expressionable for Milwaukee…
  
  Especially if the top of your lungs can outsing a lawn mower…
  
  ??s…just ask ‘glo
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 6:55 pm rating: +1
- #29.9 Critical Grass
  
  You think?
  Google maps won’t even show me how to get to Milwaukee from here.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 7:07 pm rating: +2
- #29.10 infant tyrone
  
  CG,
  
  But you can get driving directions down to GIG. Just hop a bird to Chicago, rent a car, and it’s an hour and a half North on Highway 94.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 7:31 pm rating: +1
- #29.11 Critical Grass
  
  Oh, ok. I’ll do that then.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 7:51 pm rating: +1
- #29.12 infant tyrone
  
  If you drove you could stay in San Jose for a few days and rest up for the rest of Central America. I wouldn’t even drive from here to San Diego or Austin, so, unless you’re on a no-fly list of some kind, it’s unlikely…but I know you’re not going to Milwaukee…too happy in FunkyTown.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:02 pm rating: 0
- #29.13 Critical Grass
  
  I knew I should have turned left at Albuquerque!
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:22 pm rating: +2
- #29.14 Geek Goddess
  
  Another road trip thread!
  
  Shotgun!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 2:20 am rating: +2
- #29.15 GK
  
  Excuse me! Could somebody please direct me to Amarillo?
  
  I asked some vertically-challenged folks a little ways back there, but they just told me to follow an oddly-coloured brick path. When I politely informed them that they were thinking of the wrong amarillo, the little blighters got some girl to try and drop a house on me. I ask you!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 6:07 am rating: +3
- #29.16 Critical Grass
  
  Ok GG, but bring snacks.
  
  And GK, well I think we can help you. Amarillo must be somewhere in the way… Or over the rainbow. Never sure…
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 9:59 am rating: +2
- #29.17 oi
  
  I am confused.
  (I know it’s pony girl’s line but I don’t remember mine)
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 10:10 am rating: +7
- #29.18 Critical Grass
  
  What are you confused about?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:42 am rating: 0
- #29.19 pony girl
  
  28.17-oi,
  
  Oi!!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 12:59 pm rating: +2
- #29.20 Mo®
  
  Nah I am thinking that detour in Cucamonga threw you right off.
  
  HAI! *wave*
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 1:14 pm rating: +2
- #29.21 oi
  
  about this thread, CG
  you guys are quoting some movie, aren’t you?
  Sorry pg.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 1:17 pm rating: +1
- #29.22 Critical Grass
  
  Oi, the way I run this thing you’d think I knew something about it.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 1:33 pm rating: +1
- #29.23 infant tyrone
  
  oi…
  
  I know GK is playing with “The Wizard of Oz”.
  Amarillo is in Texas and also is Spanish for “yellow”.
  Big theme/icon in TWOZ is ‘the yellow brick road’.
  
  And CG’s ‘over the rainbow’ is TWOZ’s theme song.
  
  Fairly sure everything else is original nonsense (CG might say ‘tonterias’).
  
  Can explain how we went from Milwaukee to Texas (and how we got to Milwaukee) if you need that info…just ask.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 1:36 pm rating: 0
- #29.24 Critical Grass
  
  Oi, my comments @ #28.13 and #28.22 are Bugs Bunny’s quotes.
  
  Ty is right about the other stuff.
  
  Except about the ‘tonterias’. Chico, no hagas coña que me pones nerviosa y soy capaz de te partir la cara.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 1:55 pm rating: +1
- #29.25 infant tyrone
  
  CG,
  I got everything except the conya (sorry, pantalla de E.U.).
  
  My face is mediocre enough…I don’t want you doing roadwork on it.
  
  Up here tonterias just means silliness or goofiness or nonsense, so maybe I tripped over a linguistic landmine. Unintended.
  
  If the translation (of conya or tonterias) isn’t appropriate for PAN, click your heels together three times and think real hard, maybe it’ll come to me via ESP or UPS or NFL or some other 3-letter channel…
  
  P.S. Thanks for the Bugs Bunny info…it could come in handy.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: 0
- #29.26 Critical Grass
  
  Coña is the same thing as tonteria. And I was joking about the te partir la cara part. Wouldn’t do that to you, honey.
  
  I clicked my heels, didn’t work, though. Guess purple shoes don’t do the trick as well as ruby red ones.
  
  P.S.: You’re welcome, doc.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm rating: +1
- #29.27 infant tyrone
  
  Oh, good!
  
  There were 4 urban dictionary definitions that made me cautious.
  
  As long as conya is just nonsense, no need to go to ESP-type channels.
  
  T-t-t-thats all, folks…
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 2:40 pm rating: 0
- #29.28 Geek Goddess
  
  Amarillo? check
  Vertically challenged? check
  Rainbow? check
  Lion and scarecrow? check
  Chick in pigtails and blue gingham? check
  Yup, I found the video!
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BDfbb7phe0
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 4:07 pm rating: +2
- #29.29 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  
  Loved it once.
  Like a 3-point shot with the clock winding down FTW…NBTFBOTN! *
  
  I won’t beg (not here in public)…but puhleeeze tell us if you had that in your toolkit all along or if you got lucky with “Amarillo” on YT.
  
  * Nothing but the flailing bottom of the net
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 5:21 pm rating: 0
- #29.30 Critical Grass
  
  *Just saw that video and is currently curled up in a ball crying…*
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 6:57 pm rating: 0
- #29.31 pony girl
  
  i kinda like that song.
  my middle name’s Marie, guess I should’ve moved to amarillo instead of Austin?
  am i banned now?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 7:15 pm rating: 0
- #29.32 Geek Goddess
  
  ty, begging and flailing push all my hot buttons. Of course I will tell you. I met that little number a couple of years ago, and this thread just brought it all back out onto the road.
  
  Any special requests for snacks?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 7:46 pm rating: +1
- #29.33 infant tyrone
  
  Snacks…???
  
  As in…something to Munch(kin) on ?
  
  I have a hard time with quail.
  Please don’t tell me there’s a special Soylent Green made of little people.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 7:57 pm rating: +1
- #29.34 Critical Grass
  
  Healthy snacks, GG.
  
  You know, deep fried carrot sticks and that sort of thing.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm rating: +2
add to this thread
#30 T.U.M.

I know that t;s time he grows up and gets over it, but I can;t help feeling bad for Jack having to pay for his childhood birthday parties. I wonder if they did some kind of deduction from his allowance or if he had to pay all at once?

Nov 17, 2009 at 9:42 am rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #30.1 infant tyrone
  
  T.U.M.,
  
  If data in comments #5.x are accurate, I have to go with the deductions.
  
  I think it would have been referred to as the Layaway Plan…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#31 laurie

Jay, you say you only TRIED to be there for others. That doesn’t make you a good person…it makes you a lousy Jedi.

Do or do not. There is no try.

Nov 17, 2009 at 9:50 am rating: +19

reply to this comment
- #31.1 Critical Grass
  
  A mission assigned is a mission accomplished.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:00 pm rating: +1
- #31.2 mamason
  
  But Jay always does all the right things, doesn’t he?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:30 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#32 EmilythePanda

Some thoughts just shouldn’t be posted to the interwebs.

Nov 17, 2009 at 10:52 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
#33 oi

You don’t have even 24 seconds to stop your whining. you are removed and will not be allowed back ever.

Nov 17, 2009 at 10:55 am rating: +5

reply to this comment
#34 oi

How much self absorbed do you have to be to ask that you don’t want to take a chance on being removed? Only way she can post that and get away with it is: all her friends are her subordinates at work and she has blackmailed them to be her friends.
Way to go!

Nov 17, 2009 at 10:58 am rating: +2

reply to this comment
- #34.1 mamason
  
  Me? I’m willing to risk it.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:32 pm rating: 0
- #34.2 park rose
  
  oi, I don’t think she works. My guess is that she (he?) hasn’t left school yet. College at the latest.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:52 pm rating: 0
- #34.3 oi
  
  oh I meant that who would tolerate her antics if they are not being blackmailed or threatened.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 10:08 pm rating: 0
add to this thread
#35 oi

SO if I whine and put lol at every other sentence that makes it non whine?

Nov 17, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
#36 jim

I have no friends lol…maybe this year i’ll meet somebody equally pathetic lol…why do i have facebook if i don’t have friends lol….
lol
lol
click
lo BLAM

Nov 17, 2009 at 11:11 am rating: +6

reply to this comment
- #36.1 infant tyrone
  
  When the answer to the question “Are you sure you want to navigate away from this life?” is “Yes”…it’s time to log out and watch the finale of:
  
  Face(book), the Final Frontier…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 12:07 pm rating: +4
add to this thread
#37 Critical Grass

I have to say that the one thing I missed lately is being a complete whiny idiot. Especially when it comes to the point I have to bother my friends about my superfluous problems and expose myself as the attention whore that I really am. Annoying people in person isn’t enough, I guess.

If you think I’m a douche, I might be.

Edit: Sorry about the typo, but my edit button disappeared for hours! I was a bit worried. Everything is ok now.

Nov 17, 2009 at 12:59 pm rating: +5

reply to this comment
- #37.1 pony girl
  
  You might be a douche canoe if…..
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 3:39 pm rating: +3
- #37.2 JetJackson
  
  Googles ‘exponse’ to make sure… no, not a real word…
  
  Hah! Exponse yourself!?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:27 pm rating: +1
- #37.3 park rose
  
  Neat neologism. Mixture of response and expose – you could also mix in expurgate and regurgitate… but no, I think that might be going to far.
  
  Of course, maybe some people are just not response worthy, but they used to be. That makes them now part of the exponse category.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 4:56 pm rating: +2
- #37.4 infant tyrone
  
  rose…
  
  The guru (avoiding both master + mistress landmines, but managing to insert them nonetheless) of exponsitory writing (y’all [s.]) strikes again!
  
  Might be a teaching thing too…back in the day (Pleistocene?), different grades had different district-wide writing assessments, e.g. expository for G4 and “response to literature” for G5…perhaps CG is channeling one of those poor harried souls who had a split classroom to manage?
  
  P.S. Nice choice to let expurge/regurge gurg-gurg-gurgle down the drain.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 5:27 pm rating: +1
- #37.5 park rose
  
  Hah! CG. I wasn’t logged in, now our responses are not only exponses but nonsponsical. Thwarted by your eternal edit, damn you!
  *shakes fist*
  
  Nov 20, 2009 at 6:50 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#38 Joe 2

“It’s come to my attention that nobody has mentioned ME in the last half-hour! I find this EXTREMELY disrespectful. Rectify this error IMMEDIATELY or my friendship will be rescinded. Please make a note of it and have a nice day!

Nov 17, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: +9

reply to this comment
- #38.1 infant tyrone
  
  Resistance fading after nearly 7 hours….
  
  HEY EVERYBODY!!…Check It Out!!…Joe 2’s Here!!…That’s Right…Right Here On PAN…Now Y’all be sure to back up yer hard drives…Come 20-30 years from now you wouldn’t want to be caught up short of evidence while tellin’ the grandkids about this only to have them say, “Oh sure, Grandma, you and Joe 2 on the same comment thread…as if ever…Got a saved page or screen shot to prove it? Didn’t think so.”
  
  Back it up now or tread lightly with the generations a comin’…
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:30 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#39 SickleYield

It’s the smiling bee avatar that just makes that “no one likes me and my little kids” one for me. I imagine this person wearing a sweater with a cartoon animal appliqued on it to the party…

EDIT: Wait, that’s supposed to be a flower, isn’t it? Drat.

Nov 17, 2009 at 2:18 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
#40 NoExit

“douche-canoes.”

Marry me, Kerry?

Nov 17, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#41 Quinn

I block all of the people on my Facebook that post every hour. If you’re life is SO amazing that you have to let me know what you’re doing every moment of it – you get blocked.

Oh.. and those stupid application notifications. Don’t get me started! >.<

Nov 17, 2009 at 4:54 pm rating: +3

reply to this comment
- #41.1 Critical Grass
  
  I don’t have a Facebook account, and after today, I don’t plan on getting one either.
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 5:59 pm rating: +1
add to this thread
#42 N/A

Facebook really does raise PAN to a whole new level. I had one friend who said facebook was eating up too much time and she cancelled her account. A couple of days later she was back on most of our mutual friends lists with a new account but she didn’t friend request anyone who disagreed with her politically i.e. anyone who doesn’t believe that Obama is the anti-christ, anyone who sends their kids to school, and anyone who doesn’t have a massive stockpile ready for the end of the world as we know it. Why she couldn’t just unfriend people I don’t know.

Nov 17, 2009 at 7:33 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #42.1 JetJackson
  
  I love the crazies… what’s her addy?
  
  Nov 17, 2009 at 8:42 pm rating: +3
add to this thread
#43 funkychick

I don’t participate in any of these social networking sites; I prefer to social network in person! Someone sent me an e-mail to be her friend on one of these sites and when I didn’t, she quit speaking to me in real life! How is that for acting like a middle-schooler rather than an adult? Which is exactly why I don’t participate in social networking sites. I am a grown-up. But I do love passiveaggressivenotes.com!

Nov 18, 2009 at 9:45 am rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #43.1 Quinn
  
  Lol.. real life social networking. Now THAT is a concept!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 10:15 am rating: 0
add to this thread
#44 farcical aquatic ceremony

Well, you know, having one’s home ‘tagged’ can be a very traumatic experience, and costs people an estimated $1,390,000 per year in re-painting costs in the U.S., alone. And how dare you all make light of tagging on National Take Back the Walls day! After everything that walls have done for their country, I just’ can’t–

(f.a.c. mocking f.a.c.~see Veterans’ Day post)

…wait a minute… I

…what kind of dolt would go to PAN jus to suck the fun out of the room? ‘ thing I did on Veterans’ Day. Dang it.

Nov 18, 2009 at 12:46 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
#45 Tasha

I won’t like you unless you comment on my Internet-blog!

Nov 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm rating: +1

reply to this comment
- #45.1 oi
  
  I already don’t like you and your blog. Can you believe I don’t have to even visit it? thanks for making it easy.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 5:47 pm rating: +1
- #45.2 infant tyrone
  
  oi,
  
  I’ll even read tech manuals, so it wasn’t hard to take a look…take note:
  
  1) She wants to be a lawyer, and,
  2) She went to a fancy Southern wedding or worked at one [res ipsa loquitur, NOT] where they put good-sized boxes of red and yellow M&M’s at each place-setting…it could be code for something.
  
  Therefore do Not exceed the speed limit if you ever travel to visit friends or family in Atlanta (or anywhere in the South)…if she winds up being a defense attorney, you’ll pay her…if she’s with the prosecutor’s office, you’ll pay the city she ends up working for. My good deed done.
  
  Sorry, Sugar, all out of the treacle at the moment…
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 6:25 pm rating: +1
- #45.3 Critical Grass
  
  Yeah… Who cares?!
  
  NEXT!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 6:43 pm rating: +1
add to this thread

It’s all about communication. And toilet paper. (110)
- Mo®: “retro banging your mom with a midget in a windowless van retort”
- infant tyrone: “Irrelevant mention of total comment count so far” 109th !
- Beanster: “unneccessary explanation of what is going on in note/thread”
- jesus: Interestingly enough, ingesting (?) alcohol anally is the quickest route to inebriation.
- infant tyrone: Anybody out there have any success trying to duplicate writing on a TP square with a Sharpie?...

painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over

Ever wonder why Facebook doesn’t come with a “dislike” button?

November 16th, 2009 · 172 comments

172 responses so far ↓

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