Pomp and Circumvent

← Gee, that’ll show ’em Those that have the most to gain →

November 18th, 2009 · 155 comments

Who needs a water cooler? Nothing fosters “community” like shared networked printers! Need proof?

First up, an anonymous submission from a cubicle farm in Rochester Hills, Michigan. (Not pictured, our submitter says: two additional copies of the same “Pomptly” note to the left and right of the original.)

And from Illinois…

From Omaha, Nebraska…

(And from Brooklyn…and just about everywhere else, from Glastonbury, Connecticut to Geneva, Switzerland.)

Meanwhile, Melissa from San Francisco was recently at the D.C. bureau of a news magazine for a press meeting, but being a devoted PAN-ista, she managed to sneak out of the conference room while the coast was clear to make sure she could capture this shot for us. (So please excuse the blurriness.)

FILED UNDER: note wars · office · oh snap · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · the printer

155 responses so far ↓

#1 Adam

Will I still get flamed if I post first ironic-ly?

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:28 pm rating: 5

reply to this comment
- #1.1 park rose
  
  Why don’t you post it humously, then you might get kudos, or a sympathy vote, at least, for services rendered.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: 29
- #1.2 JetJackson
  
  If you were as intelligent as the rest of us you wouldn’t need to post ‘first’ to be first as you would be able to come up with witty comments pomptly.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: 60
- #1.3 infant tyrone
  
  Bonsoir and welcome to Chez Daedalus.
  Would Madame care for some fava beans and a nice Chianti with the broiled liver ala Icarus tonight? Or does Madame prefer the Rose?
  
  Or did you mean PostIt humously, as though consinging [sic] the President’s husband to the compost pile of history?
  
  Prof. Rose, guru of the late-breaking double Zentendre?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:28 pm rating: 7
- #1.4 Gunderson105
  
  Irony is “a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result.”
  
  An example from Professor Carlin:
  
  “If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.”
  
  Your post isn’t ironic, nor is it humorous. If you were the first person to post a comment, then you posted “Last”, it would be ironic.
  
  But still not humorous.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:23 am rating: 45
- #1.5 Canthz_B
  
  Maybe if you posted it “Ionically”? Everyone likes Ionic capitals atop a column…
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:50 am rating: 13
- #1.6 Mo®
  
  BRAVO!
  Someone get the license of that truck!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:05 am rating: 4
- #1.7 GhostWriter
  
  Although my intention is not to kick off a literary debate, I believe to make a truly ironic “First!” post, you would have to do more than to just post the exact opposite of your intended message. There should be some sort of sarcasm or double entendre included.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:35 am rating: 6
- #1.8 park rose
  
  Or just mention Alanis Morisette, yet again.
  Fist!
  Did I win, GW? I might have covered both.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:38 am rating: 4
- #1.9 Mo®
  
  OMG tHere iZ a fLy in mAi ChArdOnnAy!
  
  Fist!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:44 am rating: 2
- #1.10 GhostWriter
  
  For example:
  Nothing teaches Love like a good slave.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:00 am rating: 3
- #1.11 Critical Grass
  
  I dream of the day when I can come to PAN and not worry about some douche canoe posting first at the first comment in an attempt to be funny and witty.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:26 am rating: 28
- #1.12 Mo®
  
  You’re going to need a safe word for that.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:29 am rating: 5
- #1.13 Critical Grass
  
  Any suggestions, honey?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:57 am rating: 2
- #1.14 Mo®
  
  cana-de-açúcar
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 10:32 am rating: 0
- #1.15 Critical Grass
  
  beets?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 10:48 am rating: 1
- #1.16 Mo®
  
  cane, sugar.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 10:52 am rating: 2
- #1.17 Critical Grass
  
  Cane gives Sugar and Cachaça, if only it gave us lemons we could make a caipirinha… Guess you can’t have it all.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: 1
- #1.18 adam
  
  So, the answer to my question is sort of, I guess.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:03 am rating: 1
- #1.19 Mo®
  
  *Sigh* I guess not.
  That sounds heavenly right now.
  I use limes, I guess I had it wrong.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:14 am rating: 1
- #1.20 Critical Grass
  
  No, that’s ok too. When you use other fruits (besides lemons) it’s called caipifruit.
  
  Welcome to brazilian drinks 101.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:17 pm rating: 1
- #1.21 infant tyrone
  
  Adam,
  
  If all that up yonder is *sort of* flamed, I don’t wanna be in the line of fire if folks here reach into their armories and break out the big equipment.
  
  But look on the bright side, you could hook up with Tasha the soon-to-be lawyer, she could get elected President, and you could decide whether the proper protocol will be to refer to you as The First Man or just Adam, since….well…you get it, I’m sure…
  
  P.S. One of the two current thumbs is/was mine, but that’s mostly because I couldn’t give you extra thumbs for the new drive-by paintball enterprise you created yesterday. Priceless. Not passive, but very innovative.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:51 pm rating: 2
- #1.22 infant tyrone
  
  As they round the turn it’s anybody’s race.
  But wait, here comes Fist, breaking out of the pack.
  Fist is charging ahead, but here comes Sconed.
  They’re neck and neck going down to the wire….
  We’re going to have to wait for the photo folks, folks.
  
  And there it is…up on the Sony Diamond Big Screen, Fist by a mere nose, with Sconed just short by about the width of a crumpet.
  
  The Exacta of Fist and Sconed paid $87.95, ladies and gentlemen.
  
  And they’re approaching the gate for the Seventh race…..
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 3:08 pm rating: 2
- #1.23 Adam
  
  I’m just glad to have seen all those replies. Gives me plenty to look at during my work day. The people here are extremely creative.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:24 pm rating: 2
- #1.24 Critical Grass
  
  Thank you, Adam. We appreciate it.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:06 pm rating: 1
- #1.25 anglophile
  
  Goddammit! I put my money on Tird.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:42 pm rating: 6
- #1.26 infant tyrone
  
  Can’t refund your money, honey, but I can/did put a thumb on 1.25…
  
  If only you had played a 6-way trifecta system bet, five would have lost, but one would have payed out gangbusters on Fist, Sconed, and Tird.
  
  If you have any spare cash left though (and especially if you win big at the track next time), I can get you in on the ground floor of a tech start-up that’s going to make millionaires out of regular folks just like us with the new miracle product: 3-sided paper. Text me, Phizzle, CG, or GG.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:18 pm rating: 0
- #1.27 Rollo
  
  @Gunderson105, post 1.4 – you might want to check the *other* definition of irony before trying to show off!
  
  Nov 23, 2009 at 6:59 am rating: 0
add to this thread
#2 park rose

Excuse me kind sirs, would you be so obliging as to pass me that water-marked parchment from that contraption which has evolved from Joseph Gutunberg’s fine invention, upon which is pressed and embossed with the finest Indian ink and pigment in the most florid and divine of God’s language, my discourse and composition on the mass and measure of quills and writing provisions, staplers and other accoutrements aplenty which may or may not be residing in the stationery and habiliment receptacles.

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:32 pm rating: 22

reply to this comment
- #2.1 MIke
  
  Is Joseph Gutunberg a distant relative of Johann Gutenberg? Maybe Johann stole the idea from him and then murdered his estranged inventor cousin.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:40 pm rating: 11
- #2.2 infant tyrone
  
  Keerful now, Hon…
  Folks ’round this neck o’ the woods hear ya talkin’ all big city like thayut and then back-read to that “stationary” crack y’all made recently about the Lord…who-wee Medea, you’ll be in the markit fer a simpatico amigo with a sympathetic ear, a big-ass fast truck, an’ a Get Outa Hell Free card.
  
  Now, y’all be real keerful, but say it agin to me real soft like, cuz I’m a plum fool fer yew big city girls…Yes, I am!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:43 pm rating: 3
- #2.3 park rose
  
  Thanks MIke. Checked and double-checked everything but that. Johannes Gutenberg. Damn, and that’s what I get for living dangerously, too. Wasn’t logged in, so no eternal edit.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:03 am rating: 3
- #2.4 infant tyrone
  
  A printer that embosses?…awfully impressive!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:46 am rating: 1
- #2.5 Mike
  
  That’s okay. I’ll make sure not to tell their other cousin, Steve.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:48 am rating: 7
- #2.6 Mo®
  
  GUTTE!!!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:06 am rating: 2
add to this thread
#3 cx420ns

omg… no comments…..
do not say first… do not say first…. resist the douchey temptation…..

ok i think im good… phew… close one…

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:37 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #3.1 tibb
  
  good thing, since you weren’t first
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 10:47 pm rating: 24
- #3.2 Betch
  
  Congratulations, you avoided looking like a douche. Now you look more like a semi-douche.
  
  Yayyyyyy!
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 8
- #3.3 park rose
  
  A tri-sected douche? (like this comment: 3.3)
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:05 am rating: 3
- #3.4 infant tyrone
  
  A trident-true product of Parfumerie Poseidon ?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:42 am rating: 3
- #3.5 Canthz_B
  
  Wow! 9 minutes!
  
  There goes my title of World’s Slowest Typist.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:14 am rating: 11
- #3.6 cx420ns
  
  lol
  my bad
  i had to leave the room for a minute, damn kids keepin me from not looking as douchey as possible…
  next time i will win!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:23 am rating: 4
- #3.7 Canthz_B
  
  I kinda think you’ll find yourself in a no-win situation, but full steam ahead.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:42 am rating: 11
add to this thread
#4 park rose

Actually, I’m after a pompous pick-up truck driver. Who can do pretentious hillbilly, redneck? I’m throwing it out there…

I love the, I dream of the day a warrior robot… sign, btw

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: 10

reply to this comment
- #4.1 infant tyrone
  
  Y’all mean sayin’ stuff like it says on my bumper sticker here?
  
  Get In
  Sit Down
  Shut Up
  Hold On
  
  Hey, if it all works out Darlin’, we can go us back to my place and switch the (pre)positions around all night.
  
  I’d like ta say that you’re the cutest thing I ever did see…
  but see, I had ta pay a passel uv parkin’ tickets and I don’t have nuthin’ left over fer a royalty payment…
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:33 pm rating: 3
- #4.2 stuffin
  
  Pompous or pompt?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:18 am rating: 1
- #4.3 infant tyrone
  
  I do think if she desired someone who drove a pickup and also *came quickly* she’d have been able to put the “r” (as in Reverse) into “pompt”, but come to think of it, either way might work in your favor…maybe you’ve got pompous covered…or both… I can’t know.
  
  But as John Wheeler’s ManyWorlds interpretation expands the possible configurations of Aquinas’ cautionary epigram, please note that sometimes in our modern world, in some cases, neither thief was saved.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:14 am rating: 0
- #4.4 Critical Grass
  
  Ty, I think even GG would think twice calling shotgun in a road trip thread with you as the driver.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:46 am rating: 5
- #4.5 Geek Goddess
  
  All depends on the notes and comments he has posted on his bumper.
  
  Are any of them ironic?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:48 am rating: 2
- #4.6 Critical Grass
  
  I don’t know, I’ll have to check with Alanis… Better yet, I’ll check with Adam.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:23 pm rating: 5
- #4.7 Maas
  
  I have a dream that one day this nation will be conquered and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all robots are created equal.”
  
  I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood as slaves of our robot overlords.
  
  I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice for our robot masters.
  
  I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be enslaved by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
  
  I have a dream today.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: 4
- #4.8 infant tyrone
  
  Damn that buttinski Jesse and his blue pencil.
  
  Dr. King had it right the first time with “content of their DNA”.
  .
  .
  .
  *thumbed anyway, version notwithstanding
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
- #4.9 infant tyrone
  
  CG @ 4.4
  
  I’m strictly one of the fleece-the-marks guys on this caper.
  
  GG’s driving…look out below…feel safer now I hope ?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:40 pm rating: 2
add to this thread
#5 park rose

This printer can’t handle big jobs. Please don’t send your big jobs to this printer.

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:48 pm rating: 24

reply to this comment
- #5.1 aaaaaaaaahhhhhh
  
  If you have a big job that needs to be printed, see Casey in Human Resources.
  
  Nov 26, 2009 at 1:16 am rating: 1
add to this thread
#6 Phizzle

“Paper has two sides for a reason.”
Um yeah, I think the reason has nothing to do with saving the planet or saving corporate a few cents. But I like your forward thinking–go ahead and invent three sided paper. Earth can’t save itself!

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:49 pm rating: 45

reply to this comment
- #6.1 Catburglar
  
  Personally, I’m waiting for single-sided paper.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:03 pm rating: 37
- #6.2 JetJackson
  
  I bet the other side of that sign is blank too.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:39 pm rating: 63
- #6.3 infant tyrone
  
  For Ze Catburglar….
  
  http://www.metacafe.com/watch/331665/no_magic_at_all_mobius_strip/
  
  Hope you weren’t holding your breath very long.
  
  Me, I’m waiting for the mobius printer…
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: 6
- #6.4 infant tyrone
  
  Phizzle,
  
  If we started up a company to make 3-sided paper and operated it purely as a Ponzi scheme…
  
  do you think we could run it up to $100 million and get away to Venezuela before the Feds came after us with a Ricoh warrant?
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 8
- #6.5 Geek Goddess
  
  AAANNNDD, Shotgun!
  
  (I’ll bring snacks, shall I?)
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:30 am rating: 10
- #6.6 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  
  It’ll take some time to get up to $100M…get some flight time and a pilot’s license and you can drive the company jet!
  
  Whaddya think, big city of Caracas (3.2 M) or medium like Barcelona (approx 400K) or Ciudad Bolivar (approx 300K) ?
  
  Phizzle ‘n’ me, we’ll do the hard work of gladhanding and bamboozling investors at shrimp-studded soirees…but, hey, that’s just the way we are…team players.
  
  Should we plan on the Lear, Cessna, or something else? You’re drivin’
  
  Oh, yeah…we may need to stop in Amarillo (or somewhere) and pick up CG…something tells me she won’t really like the cold in Milwaukee.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:56 am rating: 3
- #6.7 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  
  Hopefully you didn’t take my offer of driving the jet as a sexist remark….
  you’re invited to join in Shrimp-borees and the hard work of swindling.
  
  Phizzle and I will even give you 40% if you join the flogging squad AND drive the plane…even tho I haven’t talked to Phizzle about it…
  
  Volare….
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:53 am rating: 3
- #6.8 Geek Goddess
  
  Oh, the Lear of course. Just let me know where we need to stop. What is the aeronautic equivalent of a stick shift? ‘Cause that is what I prefer, being a ‘hands-on’ kind of girl.
  
  Let’s go with Ciudad Bolivar, and a pied-a-terre, if a French term is ok in SA, in Caracas for outings to the big city.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 3:23 am rating: 3
- #6.9 anglophile
  
  JJ, I can only give you one thumb for that, but in addition, I’d like to give you this: ✌
  
  It’s either a victory sign or bunny ears, take your pick.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:39 am rating: 7
- #6.10 Canthz_B
  
  JJ, I thumb you ∞!!
  
  But not the car, because it really wouldn’t be the Green thing to do!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:47 am rating: 4
- #6.11 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  
  Stick shift on a Lear?
  Do you get seasick?
  Maybe a nice big sailboat ?
  
  We don’t have to decide until we get to about $20M anyhow…
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:40 am rating: 3
- #6.12 Critical Grass
  
  Hey, no need to stop at Amarillo, I’ll wait for you guys at Santiago de León de Caracas. Let’s go on February, it’ll be as hot as hell there and no one will dare to look for us in a 33ºC and humidity at 74% weather.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 10:10 am rating: 5
- #6.13 Geek Goddess
  
  I agree, no one will want to look at us in 33ºC and humidity at 74% weather.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:52 am rating: 5
add to this thread
#7 zenvelo

that first sign was left by Maurice, the Pompitous of Love.

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:55 pm rating: 18

reply to this comment
- #7.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  Some people call him the space cowboy.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:45 pm rating: 8
- #7.2 infant tyrone
  
  For Ze Catburglar….
  
  http://www.metacafe.com/watch/331665/no_magic_at_all_mobius_strip/
  
  Hope you weren’t holding your breath very long.
  
  Me, I’m waiting for the mobius printer…
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:51 pm rating: 0
- #7.3 park rose
  
  cos he’s a picker
  he’s a grinner
  he’s a lover
  And he’s a sinner
  Bet he doesn’t use two sides of the paper, either.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:11 am rating: 11
- #7.4 infant tyrone
  
  C’mon (c’m'on? seems very busy) rose,
  
  Don’t hold that against the poor guy…I mean nobody except those in thrall to a robot warrior race or, worst case, to Poseidon, uses both sides.
  
  Maybe you’re all Jack be nimble*, but using both sides would seriously cramp my style vis a vis depositing paper per the Santorini Protocol.
  
  *NTTAWWT
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:38 am rating: 2
- #7.5 tiredofseeingmynamesohere'sanotherone
  
  check this out.
  I came to it via adnoxious, so doing his trolling for him – but I have to give credit where credit is due. That’s a youtube, by the way, not a link to the blog.
  rose (truly).
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 3:33 am rating: 2
- #7.6 infant tyrone
  
  I am nearly speechless (-272.99 Deg K).
  
  Only query: Anyone understand why the few seconds of shower footage?
  
  Hitchcock homage ?
  Rose ? Anybody ?
  Just don’t tell me it’s dual-use technology, please…
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:06 pm rating: 1
add to this thread
#8 zenvelo

oh those Nebraskans! always dreaming…do they get pillows in their cubes?

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:57 pm rating: 5

reply to this comment
- #8.1 Betch
  
  Have you ever been to Nebraska? There really isn’t much else to do there but dream.
  
  Nov 18, 2009 at 11:00 pm rating: 4
- #8.2 Canthz_B
  
  Nebraskan’s dreams are nothing compared to what is dreamed up in Kansas, right Dorothy?
  One of the more obscure compromises included in the Kansas Nebraska Act.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:28 am rating: 8
- #8.3 Beanster
  
  and in wisconsin, i’ve recently learned, there is nothing to do but dream up new rules for drinking games. it’s even more restrictive. at least Nebraska can dream whatever it wants so long as it doesn’t involve colour.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:00 am rating: 1
add to this thread
#9 Betch

I personally find it more annoying when people print something that is as long as a novel, and then press print multiple times so that one of the three computer room printers is endlessly printing thousands of unneeded pages and keeping the rest of us from being able to print out the miniscule number of pages we need for the class that starts in 10 minutes.

But I’m not bitter or anything.

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:59 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #9.1 park rose
  
  2 printers are free, no? Why are you kept waiting?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:18 am rating: 2
- #9.2 Canthz_B
  
  Dear President of Procrastination Nation,
  
  Let me get back to you later on this.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:23 am rating: 15
- #9.3 Betch
  
  Because there’s usually two other people doing the exact same thing on the other two, plus there’s often one broken.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:08 am rating: 0
- #9.4 Betch
  
  Because there’s usually two other people doing the exact same thing on the other two, plus there’s often one broken, and sometimes pressing print multiple times causes them to overflow onto the other printers. On top of that, there’s usually close to 50 people at any time trying to print something out, so even if one or two do happen to be working normally, you still have to wait for everyone else’s work to print out before yours even starts.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:15 am rating: 0
- #9.5 GhostWriter
  
  I suggest you start your class printouts 15 minutes early.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:41 am rating: 2
- #9.6 mamason
  
  Bravo, CB! Bravo!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:49 am rating: 3
- #9.7 park rose
  
  Betch, it does suck. I’ve been in similar situations. Why no-one could recognise that computers, literary geniuses (ii) and great works of art just don’t mix, I don’t know.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:57 am rating: 2
- #9.8 Geek Goddess
  
  10 minutes before class? When I was in school (back when we had to do our graphics in DOS), we would press ‘Print’ just before security cleared out the building for the night, head home for some much deserved sleep (10 miles uphill both ways), and come back in the morning hoping that our work had printed out over night.
  
  Damn first year graphics students and their lack of file size management skills. All y’all need to learn the difference between KB, MB and GB!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:01 pm rating: 7
- #9.9 infant tyrone
  
  GG,
  
  Back in the *old* days (Home = 5.2 K Rods @ 89 Deg. slope both ways), we worked on CPM machines that had a whopping 64K memory.
  
  DEC brought out a dual CPM/DOS rig with a 5Mb hard disk. It was the same as other 10Mb drives, but DEC only bothered to write to the top half of the platter…kind of like a magnetic version of single-sided paper.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:54 pm rating: 1
- #9.10 Critical Grass
  
  What?!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:19 pm rating: 2
- #9.11 infant tyrone
  
  You’re young, so you don’t remember…when PC’s first had hard drives, the drives had less storage capacity than many gamers’ PC’s have RAM.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:30 pm rating: 1
- #9.12 mystic_eye_cda
  
  My first computer didn’t even have a harddrive, you put the 5 ¼ inch floppy containing the operating system in the floppy drive before you could turn it on!
  
  Imagine an OS that was less than 180 kB (I think that’s what an apple formatted floppy was?)
  
  Seriously kB anyone remember those?
  
  But back to the “single sided paper” vs single sided floppy -see below
  
  Personally I think single “single sided paper” is analogous with “thread”
  
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floppy_disk#The_5.C2.BC-inch_floppy_disk
  Both Radio Shack and Apple used 180 kB single-sided 5¼-inch disks, and both sold disks labeled “single sided” that were certified for use on only one side, even though they in fact were coated in magnetic material on both sides. The irony was that the disks would work on both Radio Shack and Apple machines, yet the Radio Shack TRS-80 Model I computers used one side and the Apple II machines used the other, regardless of whether there was software available which could make sense of the other format
  
  For quite a while in the 1980s, users could purchase a special tool called a disk notcher which would allow them to cut a second write-unprotect notch in these diskettes and thus use them as “flippies” (either inserted as intended or upside down): both sides could now be written on and thereby the data storage capacity was doubled. Other users made do with a steady hand and a hole punch or scissors. For re-protecting a disk side, one would simply place a piece of opaque tape over the notch or hole in question. These “flippy disk procedures” were followed by owners of practically every home-computer single sided disk drives. Proper disk labels became quite important for such users. Flippies were eventually adopted by some manufacturers, with a few programs being sold in this medium (they were also widely used for software distribution on systems that could be used with both 40 track and 80 track drives but lacked the software to read a 40 track disk in an 80 track drive). The practice eventually faded with the increased use of double-sided drives capable of accessing both sides of the disk without the need for flipping.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 3:03 pm rating: 4
- #9.13 infant tyrone
  
  By the time I started (as a buyer for a small PC retail chain), everything was pretty much double-sided in the (my) floppy world except for some single-sided 8-inchers. But DEC’s machine (which might have been only DOS, come to think of it) came out after I started, and after there were 10Mb HD’s, making it an interesting and hard-to-sell aberration.
  
  My buddy that got me into the whole mess went back (in PC’s) to an Altair with a cassette drive, which I think was the original storage device for the ‘ground-breaking’ IBM-PC.
  
  As Mr. Lennon useta say, “Strange days, indeed!”
  
  *Adds one more handle to the so far shortish list of PAN citizens who are very likely to be a fellow-geezer.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 3:24 pm rating: 1
- #9.14 anglophile
  
  You had a betamax, too, didn’t you, ty?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:15 pm rating: 3
- #9.15 Snippy
  
  Luxury!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:48 pm rating: 3
- #9.16 infant tyrone
  
  Defendant pleads not guilty of BetaMax or VideoDisc ownership.
  
  Has occasionally read (short) articles to the effect that BetaMax was actually a superior technology by Sony but was beaten/driven out by superior marketing of JVC’s VHS…but won’t risk the court’s wrath by going into details…
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:50 pm rating: 1
- #9.17 JetJackson
  
  When my father worked for the tax office back in the early 80′s they had a printer room. I remember that on one side of the room printouts would pump out. Underneath the floor (which could be lifted up with a suction cap device) were the various components of the printer. In other words, the room was the printer!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:05 pm rating: 1
- #9.18 infant tyrone
  
  Snippy,
  
  Is that a Yorkshire-type luxury ?
  
  Don’t know which version is your favorite…here’s mine.
  
  Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.
  
  Alan Rickman alert !
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLtBlafbfh4
  
  We useta dream of livin’ in a corridor….
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:05 pm rating: 4
- #9.19 Geek Goddess
  
  I once wrote a program on punch cards for a physics class. Does that make me Geek Geezer Goddess?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:09 pm rating: 4
- #9.20 infant tyrone
  
  It makes it a near-sure bet that you’re within a decade of me one way or the other, so compared to some of these young whippersnappers, it makes you eligible to use the title if (and when) you choose, but it doesn’t *make* you a GGG…only you can do that.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:45 pm rating: 3
add to this thread
#10 Catburglar

I’m David Pomptly and I resent being singled out like this.

Nov 18, 2009 at 10:59 pm rating: 15

reply to this comment
#11 JetJackson

I have that same love slave robot dream… I wouldnt call it a nightmare though I do often wake up in a sweat.

Nov 18, 2009 at 11:42 pm rating: 11

reply to this comment
- #11.1 park rose
  
  Waking up wet isn’t the same as waking up in a sweat, JJ. Not that I have to tell you, I’m sure
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:19 am rating: 6
- #11.2 JetJackson
  
  I was attempting to keep it clean for the kiddies
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:01 am rating: 5
- #11.3 Renagade676
  
  I’m sure most of them figured it out anyways.
  
  We all entered the world the same way….
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:46 am rating: 4
add to this thread
#12 humberthumbert

I bet it’ll duplex print my ass, Green Team.

Fight recycling: one-sided color print 4 EVA!!!!

Nov 18, 2009 at 11:47 pm rating: 2

reply to this comment
- #12.1 park rose
  
  Or until Tuvalu and the Maldives, New York and New Orleans are under water (again in the case of N.O.). Whichever comes first.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:14 am rating: 6
- #12.2 Critical Grass
  
  Tuvalu will probably go first. Not that it’ll matter to Captain Planet up there, he lives in the Andes… Oh wait…
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 10:26 am rating: 4
- #12.3 infant tyrone
  
  CG,
  
  Good catch.
  
  Road trip revision:
  Propose we sail to Guayaquil, park the boat, and head up to Quito.OK4U?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:26 pm rating: 3
- #12.4 humberthumbert
  
  It’s true, Park Rose.
  Fight Irony: Sincerity 4 EVA!!!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:45 pm rating: 2
- #12.5 park rose
  
  LOLOLOLO LOLita…
  Not worth it?
  Not really.
  Irony? Heavy handed humour? College humour? Toilet humour? Actually, I just found an article – Public Speaking – 7 Types of Humor You Can Use. According to this authoritative resource, they are:
  Turn of Phrase,
  The Pun,
  Exaggeration,
  The Understatement,
  Irony,
  Sarcasm and
  Satire.
  I think Adam is master of the understatement, and I’m a big fan of his.
  I don’t think your first comment is clearly ironic, especially if we take Gunderson 105′s and GW’s definition into account. Your second one is funny, though and spot on.
  Sincerely,
  rose.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 4:59 pm rating: 2
- #12.6 oi
  
  Are you bloggenthropic savior rose?
  *not that there is anything wrong with that*
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:32 pm rating: 0
- #12.7 infant tyrone
  
  rose,
  
  Was that laffin out loud in Spanish…but just a little bit (una risita) ?
  Or a nod at Nabakov’s novel that even many English Majors haven’t read ?
  (either’s hyper-ill and fine with me…)
  
  Not advocating for anyone or anything, but playing the Devil’s Butler for a sconed, humbertx(2) might have figured that since it was a printer in the offices of a real magazine, in D.C. no less [where sources tell us they run machines so hard that their motors go out], it could have been one of those printer/copier mega-units…and as such, it probably could duplex print his ass, if by duplex he meant that in copier mode it could make a copy of both cheeks, a holiday tradition at office parties for a while now.
  
  As to whether this usage would fall within the scope of one or more of your seven vital humors…dunno, your guess may be better than mine, but if he cops to it we could get some leeches and suction cups and find out.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:44 pm rating: 1
- #12.8 Critical Grass
  
  Ty @2.3: You never mentioned a boat. Guess I’ll finaly have the oh-so-expected opportunity to sing:
  I’m on a boat
  I’m on a boat
  Everybody look at me cause I’m sailin on a boat
  I’m on a boat
  I’m on a boat
  Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin boat
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
  Ty, you could sing the backing vocals.
  Well, hell… As long as we’re going to Ecuador we could go to Colombia too. I have a few business there.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 6:35 pm rating: 3
- #12.9 Geek Goddess
  
  You may not want me to sing along. I’ll just stick to driving if you prefer. Do I need to bring a map, or will I be allowed to stop for directions if we get lost?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:13 pm rating: 2
- #12.10 infant tyrone
  
  Hey, CG…
  
  The boat came up @ 6.11 (you may have been en route between Caracas and Amarillo at the time) after GG mentioned Lear jet with a stick shift.
  Seemed to me like a good time to consider alternate vehicles.
  She hasn’t answered about getting seasick, so I think we’re good afloat.
  
  Hey, catchy tune, s(l)ick lyrics, and sharpest-dressed crew since ZZ Top.
  I’m not much of a singer unless we hit Colombia early, but I’m game.
  We probably want to rotate DJ responsibilities, but maybe we can agree to keep the tunes as nautically themed as possible.
  
  Toward that end, allow me to offer my ‘fist’ tune for the playlist.
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4evzpIVnMVs
  
  I hope PG doesn’t think there’s any special significance here.
  Just a song with a great line for Tonto.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:31 pm rating: 2
- #12.11 infant tyrone
  
  With a $100M stash, I think we can afford Loran, GPS, and all that other cool boat stuff…hey, we could get a sat phone and do PAN via satellite.
  
  But, of course you can stop for directions as long as it’s not from pirates.
  
  Nice if you’d sing along. If you check out my and CG’s start up kits, you’ll note that there are a couple of choice lines we could all sing together.
  Especially considering the money…
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:52 pm rating: 2
- #12.12 Geek Goddess
  
  Here is another one with a nautical theme, no ponies but some general farming references.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FbV4zT_ZTY
  
  And no I don’t get seasick.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:02 pm rating: 3
- #12.13 Critical Grass
  
  Perfect! Loved your playlist suggestions. Guess we’re ready to go. I have a GPS device, but it’d be more fun if we asked for directions and made some friends along the way.
  That’s ok, I’m not much of a singer either, but I plan on drinking my way through Caracas to Medellín, so I think we’ll be ok.
  
  Here’s another tune: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODYxhZEj8fM&feature=related
  
  All on board!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 8:31 pm rating: 3
- #12.14 infant tyrone
  
  “Well!” as the Emperor used to say in Amadeus, “There you have it !
  Over the bounding main it is !”
  
  I haven’t heard a peep out of Phizzle on this scam, but I think we should keep the door open for him, as long as the door is above the waterline.
  
  Since CG has evil biz in Colombia, I’m thinking maybe we should check into whether Stevie Nicks has any nautical tunes. In the meantime…
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyaGqRMfPUs
  
  Oooh, Lou Reed has a long song with nautical imagery…anyone game?
  
  And as far as pirates go, maybe they aren’t such a bad lot, especially the Canadian ones. Bookmarked Arrogant Worms home page.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 10:20 pm rating: 2
add to this thread
#13 infant tyrone

Paging Miss Place! White courtesy telephone, please.

Miss Place: This is Miss Place.

Operator: Yes, Ma’am, your office called to say that you left without picking up the 5 page memo you left at the printer on the fifth floor, but don’t worry because Sandra is talking to someone in IT and they should be able to text it to your cell phone by the time you arrive in Chicago.

This is American Airlines announcing the prompt and immediate departure of Flight 237 to Chicago.
All ticketed passengers should be at the gate and boarding at this time.

Miss Place: Oh, good, I’ll just get it printed at a Kinko’s when I get to Chicago. I’ll just relax with a few drinks on the plane. Here we go.

Ladies and gentlemen, until we reach our cruising altitude, we ask that you please turn off all portable electronic devices, including laptops, pagers, and cell phones.

Miss Place: Oh, right, better turn off my cell phone…hey, it was just here in my…..

and the heat goes on, and the heat goes on…..(Talking Heads)

Nov 19, 2009 at 12:25 am rating: 1

reply to this comment
#14 jinx

The second sign reminds me of my university. If you’re too slow in taking your pages, exspect them to be moved. However, if your the mover, don’t take the pages that don’t belong to you or throw out them out.

Nov 19, 2009 at 12:52 am rating: 2

reply to this comment
- #14.1 Beanster
  
  to print on my university library printers you actually have to click “release job” at the printer.
  
  i find it works well, because otherwise, shit son you don’t get to hand in this chem lab on time. why? because i reinserted it and printed on the back side.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:04 am rating: 1
- #14.2 Mo®
  
  “release job”
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 11:32 am rating: 0
- #14.3 Geek Goddess
  
  I can think of a lot of applications that could use a ‘Release Job’ button.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:04 pm rating: 3
- #14.4 infant tyrone
  
  I can think of one character in the Bible who would have loved a remote version of that “Release Job” button.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:38 pm rating: 6
add to this thread
#15 slythwolf

I think my favorite thing about the one that advises people to use spellcheck is that spellcheck wouldn’t have caught “pickup”. It’s like when people recommend spellcheck for differentiating between “your” and “you’re”.

Nov 19, 2009 at 1:09 am rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #15.1 stuffin
  
  I’m pretty sure it would have caught “pomptly” though.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 1:26 am rating: 18
add to this thread
#16 Geek Goddess

#3 is a kind of real world version of PAN. I want to work in that office. Or at least post notes there in response to their notes.

Nov 19, 2009 at 1:33 am rating: 11

reply to this comment
#17 Canthz_B

“Paper has two sides for a reason…”

What do the physics of three-dimensions have to do with two-sided printing again?

Edit: Back-read fail. Too close to number six?

Nov 19, 2009 at 6:19 am rating: 5

reply to this comment
#18 Canthz_B

Please stop taking print jobs off of the printer to find your own.
Use your psycho-kinetic powers to draw out the pages that belong to you.

And stop straightening out my spoons!!!

–The Amazing Kreskin

Nov 19, 2009 at 6:37 am rating: 10

reply to this comment
#19 Canthz_B

Handicapped employees already get the best parking spots.
Now they want to walk to the printer?
Keep the dream alive, but give up the parking space…or get to ~~steppin’~~ rolling!

Nov 19, 2009 at 6:55 am rating: 4

reply to this comment
#20 songer

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
when things were pompt
and people listened
Two-sided paper! yet I cry!
the second side
to wipe your bum with….

Nov 19, 2009 at 7:53 am rating: 12

reply to this comment
- #20.1 Mo®
  
  Hold fast to dreams
  For if dreams die
  Life is a broken Xerox WorkCentre 5645
  That cannot fly.
  Hold fast to dreams
  For when dreams go
  Life is a blank paper
  as white as snow.
  
  Erm sorry.
  * Looks over shoulder to see if Langston Hughes fans are coming with pitchforks and torches *
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:05 am rating: 6
- #20.2 Geek Goddess
  
  You might want to check your toilet bowl for dudes with pitchfork-like devices.
  
  And whatever you do, don’t flush that paper after you wiped with it!
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 12:05 pm rating: 3
- #20.3 infant tyrone
  
  Mo,
  
  Hughes fans, you’re clear.
  
  But there’s a twitchy bunch of middle-aged-stoner-looking dudes headed this way wearing faded ELO t-shirts and carrying glo-sticks and old vinyl records with the edges sharpened, chanting something like “Time’s Up”.
  
  I’ll try to hold them off with a looong footnote, but better if you can bring those 50 copies of “Dreams”…I sent the job to the main printer…hurry?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 2:19 pm rating: 1
add to this thread
#21 GhostWriter

Most people don’t realize that Martin Luther King Jr.’s first draft included references to a warrior robot race (which is what Martin called the Japanese).

Jesse Jackson deemed the slur too controversial, and pulled the line.

What- you didn’t know that, CB?

Nov 19, 2009 at 8:50 am rating: 2

reply to this comment
- #21.1 infant tyrone
  
  If Jesse had been in a hotel room in New York City when he blue-penciled that line, would that have been ironic foreshadowing ?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:20 am rating: 1
- #21.2 Canthz_B
  
  Dr. King’s first draft of what?
  Because Jessie Jackson didn’t get involved with the SCLC until 1965.
  
  What- you didn’t know that, GW?
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 7:18 pm rating: 2
add to this thread
#22 laurie

Uh-oh, I think that warrior robot note may be giving the printers IDEAS.

Nov 19, 2009 at 2:27 pm rating: 4

reply to this comment
#23 aaa

Warrior robots
They steal all of the printings
I don’t use speel chek

Nov 19, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: 4

reply to this comment
- #23.1 Snippy
  
  Haiku very much.
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 5:51 pm rating: 3
- #23.2 infant tyrone
  
  Gesundheit !
  
  We used to dream of being in thrall to a monster robot race…Luxury !
  
  Nov 19, 2009 at 9:32 pm rating: 2
add to this thread
#24 Mark Smith

Really? Paper has two sides for a reason? I’d love to see this type of paper that exists with only one surface.

Nov 21, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
- #24.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  Mobius and Listing are still working that one out between them..
  
  Nov 21, 2009 at 1:35 pm rating: 1
- #24.2 infant tyrone
  
  And for a visual, feel free to check out the link @ #6.3 and reflect on whether or not Chubby Checker had a hidden topological agenda.
  
  Oh, yeah…if you google “mobius listing” don’t get fooled by the article:
  “Double-twist Möbius Aromaticity in a 4n+2 Electron Electrocyclic Reaction”
  
  It’s completely bogus and put there by an unhinged character who visit’s Morrison’s grave once a year.
  
  Nov 21, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: 1
add to this thread
#25 Wordtinker doesnt smith

Has no one figuredd out yet that rolls of single sided paper are available in many less expensive eateries, gas stations, and discount stores? I mean, have you ever really considered using the other side of that see-through stuff?

I’m just sayin’

Nov 21, 2009 at 2:15 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #25.1 MAMARILLA2
  
  The waxy finish makes it equally hard to write on.
  
  Nov 21, 2009 at 2:21 pm rating: 2
- #25.2 infant tyrone
  
  Are you referring politely to Greece-y spoons?
  
  After the Poseidon adventure a while back, I’m avoiding those entirely for fear that I might have to use their dumpster facilities.
  
  Nov 21, 2009 at 2:26 pm rating: 1
add to this thread
#26 Simster

1. I adore the expression douche canoe and will be using it pomptly
2. The robot dream/nightmare of that office peon is so much more interesting than the photocopy dream of the original office peon that I feel they have not been working in an office for very long. Those who work in offices for substantial periods are forced, by the very atmosphere of the office, to resort to dreams of photocopying etiquette perfection.

Nov 22, 2009 at 4:45 pm rating: 1

reply to this comment
#27 Completely valid rebuttals | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] please pickup your prints pomptly [...]

Mar 30, 2010 at 3:24 pm rating: 0

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#28 The cycle of (not) recycling | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] Nothing fosters community like shared networked printers! [...]

Aug 29, 2010 at 6:49 pm rating: 0

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#29 Dunder Mifflin's newest customers | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] Nothing fosters community like shared network printers! [...]

Nov 2, 2010 at 1:19 pm rating: 0

reply to this comment
#30 And yes, I will go completely “PC Load Letter” on your ass if you ask me another question about this damn printer. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] buddy has to share his office with the only color printer on the floor,” says Murray in Birmingham, [...]

Oct 12, 2011 at 10:11 pm rating: 0

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