Shawna in Toronto spotted this note during a visit to her grandparents’ condo in Miami. The only remaining evidence of “despicable vandalism,” she says, was a bit of scratched paint. Making “those that have the most to gain”…the painting contractors?
related: be informed, homeland security will be
159 responses so far ↓
#1
leftfoot
This is what happens when the controlling HOA housewife gets old and abandoned.
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:09 pm rating: 18
#2
Kelly
There’s more anger and hatred here than at an Eagles game when Santa is present.
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 7
#3
Mike626
I currently live in an association where a letter such as this one would not be out of place. Typically, the improvements to living conditions amount to crazy rules and restrictions for owners of units in the building.
Team Enemy.
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:24 pm rating: 26
#4
JetJackson
To think they went to so much effort with the letter when they simply could have spray painted “Stop vandalising our elevator!”
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:26 pm rating: 37
#5
infant tyrone
Fist…thumb*!
Painting contractors ?
Maybe…once.
But follow the money $>$>$>>>> to “very costly Cameras”
that will probably never record anything interesting now,
since the high tech salesman’s hooligan kid brother
has taken his devilishly profitable screwdriver down the block.
* placed on leftfoot @ 11:17
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:31 pm rating: 14
#6
JetJackson
“A police investigation is sure to follow”
Sure it will… sure it will… interpol will be on the case too and of course there will be a meeting of the UN security council to deal with this heinous crime.
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: 22
#7
infant tyrone
Cameras installed
No missing white girls this week
Here comes Nancy Grace
Nov 19, 2009 at 11:47 pm rating: 10
#8
zombieBlanco
Repugnant cowards should know better than to go up against the The Association! when
death is on the lineThe Management is on the job.Nov 20, 2009 at 1:16 am rating: 7
#9
pope suburban
I’m actually impressed that an HOA anywhere has at least one person who can spell and construct sentences properly. Usually it comes out looking like they typed their little no-no letters with their face. Still, Team Enemy on general principle, because there hasn’t been an HOA worth having in the history of the world.
Nov 20, 2009 at 2:42 am rating: 16
#10
bowloftoast
Grandparent’s condo in Miami, eh?
I suspect it was a heaping pile of used depends undergarments, left to ripen in the noonday heat.
The enemy has sunk to use of chemical warfare in their ongoing war of attrition, and only big brother can save the day… by the way, condo fees are going up.
Nov 20, 2009 at 2:52 am rating: 10
#11
Canthz_B
I bet the most recently past HOA election was both a bitter contest and unbelievably entertaining.
Nov 20, 2009 at 3:21 am rating: 7
#12
Canthz_B
Typical HOA behavior. Everyone would like them so much more if they’d have shopped around a bit and ordered “reasonably affordable” cameras, but no…they went top shelf with condo fee funds.
This happens because retired politicians usually get themselves onto HOA boards.
Nov 20, 2009 at 3:31 am rating: 6
#13
anglophile
This is the sort of thing that happens when dementia gets the better of The Management. Luckily for peace-loving condo dwellers across the nation, Obama’s Death Panels will take care of the problem.
Nov 20, 2009 at 4:35 am rating: 6
#14
Gavin
Dear the Management,
I have decided to take up your invitation of anonymity and fess up to the crime, I can finally get this guilt off my shoulders and no longer feel like a repugnant coward.
Whilst I am all for improving the security of the building at the management’s expense, I personally think its a bit OTT to go all out and purchase hi-tech equipment that can both “catch and prosecute people”. I hear droids are a bit underdeveloped as yet, and I certainly haven’t heard of any that have passed the bar.
Once again thanks for forewarning me of what I’m up against, I look forward to receiving the police and will devise an alibi accordingly,
Regards,
Thee who has the most to gain
Nov 20, 2009 at 4:52 am rating: 24
#15
park rose
The association is used to dealing with the spicable acts of the gruntled many. They might think the enemy is the prefixes, but then such a heinous act would never have occurred, right?
I bet it was the ‘suffixes’ acting out, never allowed to stand alone, always dependent on dis or dat…the unnoun noun… or jected jective, whatever.
Anyway, y’all all should read this note in Daffy Duck’s voice.
Nov 20, 2009 at 5:05 am rating: 16
#16
Wade
All of this could have been avoided if the HOA hadn’t foolishly laid off Anytime Stan.
Nov 20, 2009 at 5:14 am rating: 10
#17
Critical Grass
Attention all residents:
A police report has been filed for the vandalism of my car. Damn birds! I know those little bastards are CIA agents working undercover trying to make me slip again. I’M ON TO YOU!
AoPOGoM – Association of Paranoid Old Geezer
sof Miami.Nov 20, 2009 at 6:39 am rating: 7
#18
Canthz_B
Listen, people. I wouldn’t have to install very costly cameras if the evil-doers weren’t out to get me.
Remember our vision! First this building. Then this sub-division. Soon the neighborhood! And, someday, the entire world will be ours!!!
Nov 20, 2009 at 8:09 am rating: 5
#19
Amy
That’s Camera with a capital C, people!!! The HOA is serious. Or German.
Nov 20, 2009 at 8:18 am rating: 5
#20
Bunnee
Wow, no one can write a poison pen letter like the elderly!
Nov 20, 2009 at 8:34 am rating: 4
#21
Jim
Wow, the wording is so… epic.
YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!!!
Nov 20, 2009 at 9:28 am rating: 7
#22
thirty six red
Someone fucking with their tomatoes?
Nov 20, 2009 at 9:54 am rating: 5
#23
oi!
The Expensive Camera will be installed! Afraid, be very afraid!
Nov 20, 2009 at 11:09 am rating: 7
#24
Inigo Montoya
Hello, I am Inigo Montoya. You have vandalized my elevator. Prepare to DIE!
Nov 20, 2009 at 11:58 am rating: 8
#25
HappyNat
Isn’t the local funeral home the one with the most to gain? Maybe they think their vandalism will raise the blood pressure of the residents and create more business.
Nov 20, 2009 at 12:20 pm rating: 7
#26
Tasha
It’s not often you see the word repugnant in a sign. Bravo!
Nov 20, 2009 at 1:12 pm rating: 7
#27
pony girl
I think they’ve gotten their knickers in a knot over nothing.
Probably all that happened was that a few of the less-mobile residents bumped into the newly-painted walls with their walkers and wheel-chairs.
Or maybe it was those hooligans in the north wing having elevator races again.
Either way, I want to be there when the authorities show up to investigate thoroughly.
I would love to see that cop’s face.
Nov 20, 2009 at 1:36 pm rating: 8
#28
InYourSleep
If you tell them that the cameras are costly, they’ll just get vandalised…
Nov 20, 2009 at 4:14 pm rating: 5
#29
Neeners
This is what happens when ex-military have to retire and live a “normal” life. Notice the paranoia with the “enemies” comment.
Nov 20, 2009 at 5:42 pm rating: 6
#30
Geek Goddess
Helen stepped into the elevator from floor 7, and gasped in shock. The hand-crocheted doily on the top of the delicate little end table under the elevator buttons was wrinkled! And the vase of plastic flowers was off center!! She quickly stepped back out of the elevator and returned to her apartment to compose a scathing PAN. With the carefully spell-checked and printed note in hand, she returned to post it and to remove the mothball scented doily, table and flowers. With the decor elements placed in her small hall closet, she continued on with her errand, and as she re-entered the elevator, she chatted in a low but strangely emphatic voice to an unseen companion.
“We’ll get them now, Kipper. We’ll get them now!”
Nov 20, 2009 at 8:01 pm rating: 5
#31
infant tyrone
When Helen gets back from the grocery store and pops open the can of Fancy Feast that she can afford after fencing the Cameras, will she say “Yum, Kipper !”?
Nov 20, 2009 at 8:17 pm rating: 3
#32
albtraum
I have a possible theory. Are these mayhaps Indian grandparents? In an Indian-run condo? Or maybe there’s just an Indian janitor?
Indian English is full of mellifluous but obsolete formulations like “thwart”, “repugnant”, and “disgruntled”. This sign would be par for the course in Bombay, Madras or Calcutta, if they hadn’t been renamed.
Nov 21, 2009 at 2:57 am rating: 2
#33
Geek Goddess
*is confused, visualizing cows with hankies*
Nov 21, 2009 at 10:27 pm rating: 4
#34
pilgrimchick
This honestly makes me wonder about people who have too little to occupy their time.
Nov 21, 2009 at 11:20 pm rating: 2
#35
Canthz_B
Julie Nixon-Eisenhower brings her father’s governing style to her work on the HOA board.
You just know there must be microphones installed as well as cameras.
Nov 22, 2009 at 12:22 am rating: 3
#36
Havingfitz
But…but…before I tagged your elevator I took a really good bath, and I used soap, and nice-smelling shampoo! ARE YOU NEVER HAPPY???
Nov 22, 2009 at 8:26 am rating: 3
#37
Renagade676
What a big overreaction.
For all they know, someone’s walker or wheelchair or cane or even their dog probably scratched the paint.
Nov 22, 2009 at 7:55 pm rating: 1
#38
Canthz_B
If you look really, really close, you can see that the “The Management” originally said “The Stasi”.
Nov 22, 2009 at 11:04 pm rating: 2
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