Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?
…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?
related: And God knows what
Which is more despicable?
November 30th, 2009 · 206 comments
FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Washington state
206 responses so far ↓
#1
stuffin
What’s a Tobby?
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:05 pm rating: 90
#2
holly
nobody deserves to lose their dog, but seriously, i feel like punching the woman who wrote this in the face. the spelling! the needless apostrophes! the random multiple tabbing!!!
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:10 pm rating: 90
#3
Jennifer
Oooohhhhhh, the second one is worse by typos alone. And I’m as curious as Stuffin as to what a “Tobby” is.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm rating: 90
#4
e
Poor Tobby. I’m pretty sure going to a literate home is better for him. I mean, if this Linda lady can’t type a coherent sentence, what are the chances she can read a label that says “Rat Poison” and a label that says “Tiny Rat Dog Food” and know the difference?
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:12 pm rating: 90
#5
park rose
I hear that if you scrub your karma down after expelling it, chop it up nicely, freeze it and then eat it, bit by bit, while going through the efforts of nurturing the reborn, nurturing the inner you, you can gain a bit of it back. I hear it’s full of nutrients, though some are aghast at the idea of taking in so much good will, or bad will, depending on your own personal stage of enlightenment.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: 90
#6
Saffron Lee
Stealing a dog is worse and far more reprehensible because the thief is fully aware it’s someone’s pet, especially when it’s in someone’s front yard.
Not that thieves have morals or anything. Just sayin’.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:13 pm rating: 90
#7
crumplet
Can someone return Tobby please?
I think Tobby has eaten the RETURN key on Linda’s keyboard!!
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#8
park rose
Thief: Karma’s a bitch. I certainly don’t want it back.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#9
Neeners
I think I saw Paris Hilton leaving the scene of the crime with Tobby. She heard the cries of Linda’s daughter and had to have him for her collection of furry fashion accessories.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm rating: 90
#10
theMal
Tea cups have genders now??
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:15 pm rating: 90
#11
Phoenixx
Tobby’s dead, stop lying to your child. The tiny thing ran away and is gone for good. What a douche cannon!
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:19 pm rating: 90
#12
Neeners
To: The man from whom I stole the tapes of his first born child’s birth
I will gladly trade the tapes for your first born child. No questions asked.
From: Rumplestiltskin
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:19 pm rating: 90
#13
anglophile
Why do people tape the birth of their child? Like, what, you’re going to forget that you gave birth? And do they really go back and watch it? I don’t want to watch it live, let alone on tape. People are weird.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:25 pm rating: 90
#14
UnclGhost
Today, someone stole my sign and used Wite-Out on my address so they could take a picture of it. FML
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:29 pm rating: 90
#15
Geek Goddess
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm rating: 90
#16
Palomon
Tobby got eaten by a squirrel.
I bet his name was “Toby,” but her miscreant owner can neither spell nor type. Anyway, dead rat, happy squirrel, the universe enjoys karmic balance.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#17
Palomon
That chiwawa was fuggin dilicious.
– Squirrel
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:54 pm rating: 90
#18
Canthz_B
Parking on 13th Ave. is unlucky from the get-go.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:55 pm rating: 90
#19
stuffin
At first I thought Linda and her ,Daughter included lots of personal information that was edited out because of the odd spacing. Looking closer, I don’t even think she even included a street name. The note just says “400 E. Court” which doesn’t appear to be edited.
Nov 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm rating: 90
#20
Canthz_B
I don’t see why those tapes are irreplaceable.
All she has to do is kill the kid and film the reincarnation.
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:01 am rating: 90
#21
Canthz_B
Tobby was taken away to pay mom’s misspelling tickets.
Should have paid those, mom…or taken the optional GED courses.
♫ It was a sad day, when Toby went away…♫
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:12 am rating: 90
#22
JetJackson
Please find your bag with camera inside. Unfortunately had to keep the tapes. Luckily though you can subscribe to http://www.mothersgivingbirth.xxx and watch the video as many times as you like.
Karma is nice but the money I am making selling your movie to maiesiophiliacs is better.
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:15 am rating: 90
#23
Geek Goddess
Tea cup chihuahuas are tiny. At 10 weeks old, they are even tinier. Unless her front yard was fenced with hamster-proof mesh, my money is on young Tobby doing a runner, and getting run over by a neighbor. She should check between the treads of the tires of the cars that were parked on the street that day. And with the next one, because with people like these you know that there will be a next one, tie a knot in little Tobby’s tail so he can’t slip all the way through the fence.
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:50 am rating: 90
#24
Canthz_B
Seriously, if I were a woman, I’d be more upset about my distended vagina being on film out there than my amniotic fluid covered child’s image.
“You’re too big for me!”
“Bitch, please. I saw the flick where you shit out a freaking human head!!! You can handle my head with ease!”
Dec 1, 2009 at 1:34 am rating: 90
#25
TP
Aw, poor Toby is cute. I hope he ended up ok.
However, my money is on a little rat dog like that escaping and getting run over or picked up by someone who thought it was a stray. I’ll bet it didn’t have a collar or was microchipped, and if it DID have a collar, someone read the name as “Tobby” and then it was all over from there.
Dec 1, 2009 at 2:42 am rating: 90
#26
aaa
Ah, “Tobby” wasn’t “stoled,” he was liberated from his squalid life of McDonald’s wrappers and corn squeezins.
Dec 1, 2009 at 2:55 am rating: 90
#27
puzzled
There were multiple tapes? How long was this woman in labor? Also, what weirdo actually films birth?
I always thought it was an urban legend or something.
Dec 1, 2009 at 3:53 am rating: 90
#28
Gavin
Aren’t you supposed to chain down chiwawas when you’re not playing with them.
It’s fugly anyways
Dec 1, 2009 at 3:54 am rating: 90
#29
Anniee451
I do feel sorry for Tobby’s owners; that is just kinda more sad than funny
Who would take a dog?
Dec 1, 2009 at 4:09 am rating: 90
#30
Anniee451
and return the tapes! NO ONE needs tapes of someone else’s birth – ew.
Dec 1, 2009 at 4:10 am rating: 90
#31
Renagade676
Two questions:
1. Who keeps tapes of their kid’s births in backpacks inside their 4 runner? If you have to tape that crap, leave it at home. And by the way, whoever stole the camcorder is an idiot. If you can break into a vehicle, just steal the whole damn thing.
2. Why would you leave your teacup chihuahua in the front yard unattended? Everything from hawks to rats see them as a food source, they can slip through holes no bigger than your fist, and anyone interested in dog-napping can easily take one look and see that your dog is a purebreed.
I also find it funny how they both thought these thieves believed in karma and had conciences.
Dec 1, 2009 at 4:54 am rating: 90
#32
Chicken Underwear
I love random, multiple tabs. It makes me feel like I am getting an email from Mom or Dad.
Dec 1, 2009 at 5:21 am rating: 90
#33
John
Why would you leave ANY dog unattended in the yard? Aside from them being stolen, or escaping, they also get bored and destroy your yard, and bark at everyone, and potentially become become frustrated and then aggressive. If you don’t want to pay attention to your dog or have a dog in your house, don’t get a dog. Unless you live on a farm or something.
Dec 1, 2009 at 5:31 am rating: 90
#34
iypants
tobby got ate by an owl or a seagull or something.
Dec 1, 2009 at 7:12 am rating: 90
#35
amocksun
The theives were the despicable ones.
Dec 1, 2009 at 7:31 am rating: 90
#36
bETTY
You do all realize, that there are also some people whose first language isn’t – a perfect – English!? Thank you very much!
Dec 1, 2009 at 7:34 am rating: 90
#37
Act
I suspect “Tobby” is an unintelligent rendering of “Toby.” Makes me wonder what the daughter’s name is and how poorly it’s spelled.
Also, I’m on the “the dog ran away and/or got eaten” train. My guess is the parent knows this and doesn’t want to admit to the kid the dog is probably gone for good. Then again, this does not seem like a reasonable, logical parent so who knows.
Dec 1, 2009 at 8:31 am rating: 90
#38
Quinn
1. Both are equally despicable due to both the nature of the thefts and the bad formatting of the flyers.
2. Who names their teacup chihuahua TOBBY!?
3. Who carries around tapes of their child’s birth!?
4. Why do I do this: !? so much!?
Dec 1, 2009 at 10:21 am rating: 90
#39
Critical Grass
Note #2 Or The Missing Chihuahua :
Step 1 – Open Microsoft Word;
Step 2 – Type The Note;
Step 3 – Select All;
Step 4 – Turn The First Letter Of Each Word To Uppercase.
That’s How It’s Done.
Dec 1, 2009 at 10:32 am rating: 90
#40
Tundramunkie
Maybe Tobby got eaten.
By my cat. O.o
Dec 1, 2009 at 11:35 am rating: 90
#41
Woman on the Verge
Actually, Tobby was taken by the videotape thief and forced to watch birth porn (subtitled – the amazing expanding vajayjay) until he committed suicide. The whole thing was videotaped on the stolen camera and posted to Youtube. PETA will be intervening soon.
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
#42
ClearlyDemented
Dear Thieves,
Here’s my home address. I have nice things.
Sincerely,
Idiot
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:32 pm rating: 90
#43
Chandie
When I was little, my sister had a car named Stripers. Yes, she spelled it with two P’s.
Trufax.
Dec 1, 2009 at 12:42 pm rating: 90
#44
Edgars
Maybe someone needs digital cartoon caricature ? Today I have found great website http://www.dedeart.com
Dec 1, 2009 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
#45
T. Katriina
I’m just astonished that amidst all that dreck, “Chihuahua” is spelled properly.
Dec 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm rating: 90
#46
Mandy
I think the most despicable is the spelling and formatting in the second note.
Dec 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm rating: 90
#47
OldPandaDayz
A few things:
1. Being from the suburban East Coast I was blissfully unaware until reading this comment thread that various birds of prey regularly swoop down and capture/eat small dogs in the state of Washington.
2. Why would any self-respecting thief WANT to steal a puppy tea-cup chihuahua? Isn’t that like doggie Ransom of Red Chief? Is it worth enough in value to deal with all the yipping etc?
Dec 1, 2009 at 2:06 pm rating: 90
#48
SaveTobby!
If she can’t spell “Toby” correctly, I shudder to think what that woman named her daughter and how she spelled said name. My sister is a teacher who had a child in her class with an interesting name. The mother went postal when my sister couldn’t figure out to say the child’s name during “Get to Know Your Teacher Night.” The little girl’s name was “L-sha.” How would you pronounce that? The first person who guesses wins a tiny teacup chihuahua with only a small bit of frostbite around the toes and ears.
Dec 1, 2009 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
#49
LordOfThePants
“dammit, Linda, my name’s not Tobby, it’s Kunta Kinte…”
Dec 1, 2009 at 3:05 pm rating: 90
#50
Joe 2
I kinda feel sorry for Person A, but Person B is a full retard. And of course, we all know NEVER to go full retard. (“Remember Sean Penn in I AM SAM?”)
Dec 1, 2009 at 8:02 pm rating: 90
#51
KC_Sunshine_Man
I gotta put on
My my my my my Tobby shoes.
Dec 1, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: 90
#52
Beth
Wow, has anybody else noticed that the picture has a shadow behind it – and appears to actually be a photo glued to the paper?
And the face has been cut out of the picture, too. I wonder if that is , my 8 year old Daughter???????
Dec 1, 2009 at 10:03 pm rating: 90
#53
mystic_eye
I hate to say it but people survived just fine before camcorders were invented. In fact no one, except maybe you, will ever want to see video of your wedding or birth ever again. Your kids are certainly never going to want to see it! And while some friends might fake their way through a wedding video to make you happy, not so much with childbirth.
The dog is irreplaceable, its something that is missed every single day. OTH get your kid another dog, show them life goes on and you don’t have to let evil people ruin your life.
Dec 1, 2009 at 10:40 pm rating: 90
#54
Popcornbytes
The formatting, spacing and insane italicizing & punctuation on that second one made me crack up. Hilarious!
Dec 1, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 90
#55
time_waster
I just love the second sign. Its got some pizzazz to it. Tobby is at first the eight year old’s dog, then the parent’s dog. Also, using the parenthesis instead of quotation marks was a very nice touch. Oh, and the sweet legibility, or lack of, brought it all together. Then, there’s the classic – guilting. “Why would you want to hurt my daughter by stealing her Tobby?”. Let’s not forget the capatilization of “Daughter”, even though it doesn’t start a sentence and it isn’t a proper noun. Last but not least – no grammar is least – are the question marks used to puncuate a declarative sentence. Ahh, sweet grammar… It’s about as bitchy as karma.
Dec 2, 2009 at 1:26 am rating: 90
#56
Reno
It is insanely reatrted to leave a chihuahua unattended in your front yard because they are constantly being stolen for use as bait in dog fighting matches.
Especially in rural places, people drive around in vans just searching for not just unattended fighting dogs like pit bulls and rottweilers but also bait dogs like chihuahua’s and other small breeds.
This lady needs to get a fucking clue, and we should all feel really, really horrible that this happened. Bad times all around.
Dec 2, 2009 at 9:06 am rating: 90
#57
jason
B.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:35 pm rating: 90
#58
Isobel
Dear lord – could there possibly be any more spelling and grammatical errors in that second note? I’ve never seen anything like it.
Dec 3, 2009 at 2:37 am rating: 90
#59
ggthewifey
My guess is that the owner of the Chihuahua is foreign… not illiterate.
Dec 3, 2009 at 11:09 pm rating: 90
#60
jinx
I don’t know what’s more disturbing all the question marks or that the note is addressed to the dog. He clearly ran off for a reason. I hope the 8 year old wrote this. Which makes sense because we all know children under 10 like to write notes, or make phone calls, and pretend they’re an adult/their parent. I keep thinking of my old Chinese algebra teacher. She used to call my classmate Tubee (Tube-e) instead of Toby. LOL I still to this day have no idea how you get tubee from Toby.
Dec 3, 2009 at 11:17 pm rating: 90
#61
Zoe
Oh god I have a white chihuahua just like that and now I want to cry FOREVER.
Dec 4, 2009 at 4:41 am rating: 90
#62
the wolf
Judging by the area code, Tobby is in Chicago. Mystery solved!
Dec 6, 2009 at 11:50 am rating: 90
#63
FunFunRaRa
e.e. cummings called. He wants his chihauha back.
Dec 8, 2009 at 4:52 am rating: 90
#64
Fujifan
I’m impressed. If someone pulled a runner on my backpack with a video camera in it, I don’t think I’d be so kind as to give him my home address so he could come by sometime for my computer, TV, extra tapes, etc. I mean, you can’t expect the poor guy to finish his magnum opus without a full video editing station, do you? He can’t even afford his own video camera!
Dec 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#65
sarah
Too bad coyotes can’t read. And they actually enjoy making 8-yr-old girls cry.
Mar 22, 2010 at 7:20 pm rating: 90
Comments are Closed