Which is more despicable?

November 30th, 2009 · 206 comments

Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?

YOU TOOK THE VIDEO CAMERA AND ALL THE TAPES OF MY FIRST BORN CHILD'S BIRTH

…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?

I'm sorry Tobby was stoled.

related: And God knows what

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · karma's a bitch · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Washington state


206 responses so far ↓

  • #1   stuffin

    What’s a Tobby?

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   PeaceLoveFood

      An abused house dog of someone unable to spell. My guess is the owner unwittingly gave the dog a sock and it gleefully ran off to join its grammatically correct liberator.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 142  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   jnkjn

      I like your HP reference. :)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Dara

      Wasn’t Tobby a house elf in Harry Potter?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 2:10 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   LuvThisSite

      Dobby.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Jenny

      I think it’s Toby spelled wrong.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   pony girl

      Maybe someone will give the child a better home as well.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:05 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Car RamRod

      How does she even know that someone stole this ‘Tobby’ if it was out on the front lawn? Something tells me that tiny, poor excuse for a dog is now a stain on a tractor-trailer’s wheel well.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Claire

      Or poor Tobby was eaten by a hawk or a large crow. A teacup chihuahua puppy is pretty small and could be mistaken for a mouse.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   holly

    nobody deserves to lose their dog, but seriously, i feel like punching the woman who wrote this in the face. the spelling! the needless apostrophes! the random multiple tabbing!!!

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:10 pm   rating: 82  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   park rose bang

      Is it random multiple tabbing, or automatic justifying? My computer does something similar, and I always have to manually set the margins to left margin (sorry for the garbled sentence).

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   stuffin

      Maybe her spacebar is broken and frequently gets stuck in the down position.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Neeners

      Don’t try to ‘justify’ this!

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 99  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   thedaniel

      yes, foreigners suck. on a lighter note, why is this post here? it’s not funny at all, just sad. i’ve been sad before, and i have no need to go there again.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:24 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Critical Grass bang

      Daniel, WTF are you talking about?!
      Are you still sad?! Is that it?!
      I think you have issues, man…
      Damn, I think your issues have issues!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   ScottR

      I think Tobby ran away. I know I would!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Nick Noehm

      HEY!!!

      A little compassion here?

      Like YOU’VE never spent 45 minutes hand-justifying a note on screen, and when you print it, it’s a missing little dog’s breakfast.

      And how the hell do you delete those squiggly underlines, anyway?

      Damn Microsoft. It’s a Mac next time for sure. Also, a HEAVY dog.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:02 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   time_waster

      to fix ‘squiggly lines’: correct grammer and spelling.

      and no i havent spent 45 minutes… it was more like 30 and a couple cuss words :)

      im a PC :). and that was a sad story about the dog and that kid is going to be thankful that there isnt any childbirth videos.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Nick Noehm

      Okay, I get it — too subtle.

      Recalibrating …
      Recalibrating …
      Recalibrating …

      YOU MISSPELLED ‘GRAMMAR”, YOU IRONY-CHALLENGED DIMWIT.

      Better?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:27 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   time_waster

      you know why i misspelled “GRAMMAR”? its the fact that there isn’t spellcheck and no squiggly lines. and I’m sorry you wasted the energy to type that i’m an ironic moron cause i already know that.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Nick Noehm

      At least you’re funny.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   Canthz_B bang

      There isn’t any videos?

      Interesting, aren’t it?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   time_waster

      thank you nick. Canthz, your comment really confuses(?) me. please explain, sorry

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.14   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, I doesn’t do private lessons. ;-)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.15   time_waster

      im gonna go cry now :’(

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.16   Canthz_B bang

      Here’s an apostrophe. Use it to dry your eyes.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:51 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.17   time_waster

      you’re too kind

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.18   Canthz_B bang

      You’ve used it already?! Those things don’t grow on trees you know.

      They are almost as rare as capital letters!!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.19   time_waster

      SORRY!!!! BUT DO I LOOK LIKE SOME ENVIROMENTALIST TO YOU!!!! THIS STUFF SHOULD ALL BE WRITTEN ON PAPER!! SCREW THE INTERNET AND LOWERCASE LETTERS!!!!!!! did i waste enough capitals letters?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.20   Canthz_B bang

      No, just some of your valuable time…assuming that your time is valuable that is.
      Which I doubt.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.21   time_waster

      don’t worry it isnt.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.22   tinkerbell2

      Wow, this is an intellectual Clash of the Titans. Ten dollars on Canthz_B, unless time_waster frustrates Canthz so much that he dashes his own brains out and forfeits the fight.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 6:48 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.23   time_waster

      wait…. this has to be intellectual??!! crap

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.24   Shance-a-lot

      2.22 – Tinkerbell – DASHES? Ha? he DASHES his own brains???

      Did I just point out the joke? (points ampersand at head…)

      Dec 11, 2009 at 2:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Jennifer

    Oooohhhhhh, the second one is worse by typos alone. And I’m as curious as Stuffin as to what a “Tobby” is.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   kdaniel

      Maybe Tobby isn’t a chihuahua at all but their pinball playing deaf, dumb and blind kid…

      “Tobby, can you hear me?
      Tobby, can you see me?”

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:49 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Geek Goddess

      That Chihuahua sure plays a mean pinball

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   pony girl

      who?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   infant tyrone bang

      Definitely who, but capitalized, and,

      w/o that ‘?’, and,

      with ‘The’

      The Who, accept no ‘Substitute’

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   mamason bang

      Why?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Geek Goddess

      Well, mama, that one came right out of left field!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Canthz_B bang

      I’m not interested in left field. What’s the name of the guy playing first base?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:55 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   e

    Poor Tobby. I’m pretty sure going to a literate home is better for him. I mean, if this Linda lady can’t type a coherent sentence, what are the chances she can read a label that says “Rat Poison” and a label that says “Tiny Rat Dog Food” and know the difference?

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:12 pm   rating: 67  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Tobby

      Hey guys dont worry about me. Ever seen Beverly Hills Chiuaua? Im loaded now, steaks all day!

      Best Wishes,
      Tobby

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:29 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   park rose bang

    I hear that if you scrub your karma down after expelling it, chop it up nicely, freeze it and then eat it, bit by bit, while going through the efforts of nurturing the reborn, nurturing the inner you, you can gain a bit of it back. I hear it’s full of nutrients, though some are aghast at the idea of taking in so much good will, or bad will, depending on your own personal stage of enlightenment.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Critical Grass bang

      I hear the amounts of sodium in your karma will hang around even in the after life.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:43 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Saffron Lee

    Stealing a dog is worse and far more reprehensible because the thief is fully aware it’s someone’s pet, especially when it’s in someone’s front yard.

    Not that thieves have morals or anything. Just sayin’.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Neeners

      I agree. People who steal pets should be hog tied and horse whipped.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Geek Goddess

      I agree. Until they feel sheepish about the incident.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 2:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   anglophile bang

      Oh, don’t have a cow, you guys.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   HappyNat

      How do they or you know somebody “stoled” Tobby? I’m pretty sure that dog had dreams of a better life than living in that trailer and went off Hollywood. He will probably end up in doggy pron within a year.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:03 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Sam

      That kind of depends, though. It’s worse to steal the dog, but many many people don’t really care for their animals, so if this person left their tiny short-coated chihuahua outside for a few hours in November in Washington, someone might have “stolen” the half-alive freezing dog, maybe even Animal Control. At that point, they’re stealing the dog to save its life.

      Also, very few people fence in front yards and a puppy that young is prime running away age, so it’s entirely possible that the dog was not stolen but wandered away on it’s own. Not to mention the fact that small adult dogs have been known to be hawk and owl prey, never mind a puppy.

      Really, I don’t know anyone who is intelligent and cares about their pets who would leave any dog alone and unsupervised in an easily accessible front yard, and definitely no-one who would do it with a small breed puppy. If I were the owner, I’d be hoping someone took it, because that’s the most likely scenario that has the dog still alive.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:01 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   park rose bang

      Now, I’m not trying to be bullish about this, nor hawkish, but it might serve you well to read all the comments before putting your three paragraphs worth in.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:14 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Critical Grass bang

      Saffron Lee @ #6 – Yeah, right… ‘Cause people who steal backpacks with video cameras in it aren’t fully aware that it belongs to someone else.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Helen Skor

      CG, I don’t think Saffron was implying that the thieves were unaware that the backpack belonged to someone. But rather that stealing someone’s pet (which is, in most cases, like a member of the family) is far more reprehensible than taking someone’s video camera.

      Sam, I agree with you on most points, but the note states that the dog was taken at the end of April, not November, so the “rescuing this poor frozen puppy” explanation doesn’t really fly.

      Either way, I feel bad for the owner. I cannot imagine what I would do if someone “stoled” my dog.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Critical Grass bang

      Sorry Helen, I’m not a “dog person”, wouldn’t care if they stole a dog. But try to steal my video camera and watch me go ballistic.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   KC_Sunshine_Man

      “You want to hear sick? I’ll give you sick. I was sleeping with a woman recently, and I was right about to finish, and then her dog starts licking my ass. So I’m like what do I do? Do I finish?”

      “You sick m-f, you finished.”

      “I finished–and then I stole the dog.”

      –The 40 year old Virgin

      Love,
      KC

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   jj

      More reprehensible than poor grammar? Pffffft!

      Dec 3, 2009 at 12:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   crumplet

    Can someone return Tobby please?
    I think Tobby has eaten the RETURN key on Linda’s keyboard!!

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Daydream Believer

      @jbles – dang, I slithered in here from my usual haunt in the RSS feed just to say “that chihuahua was fucking delicious”, only to find you had beaten me to that expressing that noble sentiment.

      +1 to you.

      (OK, also I fail at getting this comment to show up in the right place. I’ll get my coat…)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:01 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   park rose bang

    Thief: Karma’s a bitch. I certainly don’t want it back.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Neeners

      Hey first time Dad! There was no thief. It was your wife’s father who stole the tapes at her request so she would not have to relive the birth over and over again with her cha cha hanging out and it being constantly rewound and played in reverse for posterity.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:27 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   scaarykitty

      Think most fathers would prefer to not think of their daughters being “reversed for posterity”.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:44 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Neeners

    I think I saw Paris Hilton leaving the scene of the crime with Tobby. She heard the cries of Linda’s daughter and had to have him for her collection of furry fashion accessories.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:14 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Hannah F.

      Didn’t you see that South Park ep? P.Hilt would take the kid for a “pet,” too.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Neeners

      I didn’t but now I must.

      I often wonder if she sits on her pets in her purse after getting drunk and doing drugs at the night clubs she frequents.

      (Oops! Lost another one!! At least this one didn’t mess up all the makeup in my purse.)

      Maybe that’s why she needs so many of them. It’s a small zoo in her closet.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   theMal

    Tea cups have genders now??

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   park rose bang

      Indeed they do, old china, indeed they do.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   infant tyrone bang

      The handy thing is that the boys are all named plain old ‘Matt”.

      You can tell them apart due to the girls’ special, glazed appearance.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Phoenixx

    Tobby’s dead, stop lying to your child. The tiny thing ran away and is gone for good. What a douche cannon!

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Neeners

      Tobby’s not dead, he just left with someone who would not leave a 10 week old puppy in the front yard unattended.

      Maybe Tobby went back to the puppy mill to be with his mother again.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   jbles

      That Tobby was fuckin delicious?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Canthz_B bang

      That was not mei funny, jbles.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Canthz_B bang

      Tobby is living on a big farm in South Carolina.
      I wonder if my daughters still think that Dusty is there too?

      They fell for that one hook, line and sinker!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 1:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Meesh

      My parents feed me that lie too. I later found out that the neighbor shot my dog–he mistook my beagle for a deer.

      Fucking Georgia.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:25 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   farcical aquatic ceremony

      @ Meesh–pssssst! I think an adult-sized hunter, especially one now way past his prime running-away years, could EASILY be mistaken for a deer… *wink* *wink*

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Yodel

      Meesh– Your poor Beagle went the way of ‘Ol Yeller.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Geek Goddess

      That’s what you get for dressing your dog up for Christmas in reindeer antlers and a red bow with a bell.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Neeners

    To: The man from whom I stole the tapes of his first born child’s birth

    I will gladly trade the tapes for your first born child. No questions asked.

    From: Rumplestiltskin

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:19 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   anglophile bang

    Why do people tape the birth of their child? Like, what, you’re going to forget that you gave birth? And do they really go back and watch it? I don’t want to watch it live, let alone on tape. People are weird.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   stuffin

      Maybe she thought it would deter thieves from stealing her camera. Obviously she was wrong.

      Nov 30, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’m sure there is a market for birth-porn out there somewhere.
      Those tapes were their insurance policy against hard times.

      Ooohh, yeah the baby is crowning! Push, Girl! Push!!…I LIKE IT LIKE THAT!!!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   JetJackson

      Good to see we are both sick and twisted CB… 8 minutes…

      Dec 1, 2009 at 12:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Canthz_B bang

      Ah yes, JJ…but you pulled the technical term out of your ass, so I bow to you on this one! ;-)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 12:32 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   JetJackson

      Indeed, those 8 minutes were spent googling for a site that specialises in women giving birth. Unfortunately no luck, so I had to settle for something that at least conveyed the same meaning.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 12:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   Matt

      Maybe she wants to see what it looks like from everyone else’s angle.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   UnclGhost

    Today, someone stole my sign and used Wite-Out on my address so they could take a picture of it. FML

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Geek Goddess

    Bad spellers of the world, untie!

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:37 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Palomon bang

    Tobby got eaten by a squirrel.
    I bet his name was “Toby,” but her miscreant owner can neither spell nor type. Anyway, dead rat, happy squirrel, the universe enjoys karmic balance.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   at2002

      Or a predatory bird. As someone who has seen a hawk pick up a dog bigger than a 10 wk old teacup chihuahua, its a much more likely scenario than someone coveting thy neighbor’s baby canine and leaning over the precariously perched fence, surreptitiously picking up a miniature, wriggling mass.
      btw, said hawk eventually dropped the dog and it lived, although it was never quite right after that. Tobby’s better off if he was merely plucked up by strong talons, neck quickly broken, and shredded to feed baby birds.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:06 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   park rose bang

      Or maybe the man from Mars stopped eatin’ cars and eatin’ bars and now he only eats chihuahua-wahs!
      Raptors…

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Critical Grass bang

      Palomon, it’s all about aequitas et aequilibrium. So it goes…

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   RoxyBlue

      I agree with at2002. Predatory bird. Swoosh, bye bye Toby.
      I’ve seen one menace our cats in the backyard.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 2:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   loomis

      I know of two chihuahuas that have been eaten by coyotes.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 3:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Mo® bang

      I think it was abducted by aliens and taken by four dimensional aliens toe the planet Tralfamadore.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 7:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Erika

      Chihuahuas fetch a really high price, several hundred to over a thousand dollars. It’s not that unlikely that someone stole the dog either to resell or to keep for themselves. If you have an expensive purebred, especially extremely popular purse dogs, don’t leave it alone in public.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Palomon bang

    That chiwawa was fuggin dilicious.
    – Squirrel

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Parking on 13th Ave. is unlucky from the get-go.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   stuffin

    At first I thought Linda and her ,Daughter included lots of personal information that was edited out because of the odd spacing. Looking closer, I don’t even think she even included a street name. The note just says “400 E. Court” which doesn’t appear to be edited.

    Nov 30, 2009 at 11:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Keith

      try street view……….

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   BeardedDave

      I say it’s the white house with blueish trim that has the chain-link fence in the front yard, that google lists as 408 E. Court St., Goldendale, Washington.

      I love technology.

      Maybe they should sell their camper trailer and use the money to buy their daughter some counseling.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 12:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t see why those tapes are irreplaceable.
    All she has to do is kill the kid and film the reincarnation.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Meesh

      Seriously. Or just have another kid. The births can’t look all that different–it’s not like you could watch it and be like “No, that shriveled bloody mass is Hayden, not Crystina!”

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Critical Grass bang

      It’s not like they’re coming out of different places or anything…

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   LordOfThePants

      “dammit, Linda, my name’s not Tobby, it’s Kunta Kinte…”

      Dec 1, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    Tobby was taken away to pay mom’s misspelling tickets.
    Should have paid those, mom…or taken the optional GED courses.

    ♫ It was a sad day, when Toby went away…♫

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   JetJackson

    Please find your bag with camera inside. Unfortunately had to keep the tapes. Luckily though you can subscribe to http://www.mothersgivingbirth.xxx and watch the video as many times as you like.

    Karma is nice but the money I am making selling your movie to maiesiophiliacs is better.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Helen Skor

      Maiesiophiliacs? I’m not even going to ask how you knew that. Or even that there WAS such a thing. Freak. :-)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Geek Goddess

    Tea cup chihuahuas are tiny. At 10 weeks old, they are even tinier. Unless her front yard was fenced with hamster-proof mesh, my money is on young Tobby doing a runner, and getting run over by a neighbor. She should check between the treads of the tires of the cars that were parked on the street that day. And with the next one, because with people like these you know that there will be a next one, tie a knot in little Tobby’s tail so he can’t slip all the way through the fence.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:50 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Anniee451

      lol

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    Seriously, if I were a woman, I’d be more upset about my distended vagina being on film out there than my amniotic fluid covered child’s image.

    “You’re too big for me!”

    “Bitch, please. I saw the flick where you shit out a freaking human head!!! You can handle my head with ease!”

    Dec 1, 2009 at 1:34 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   TP

    Aw, poor Toby is cute. I hope he ended up ok.

    However, my money is on a little rat dog like that escaping and getting run over or picked up by someone who thought it was a stray. I’ll bet it didn’t have a collar or was microchipped, and if it DID have a collar, someone read the name as “Tobby” and then it was all over from there.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 2:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   aaa bang

    Ah, “Tobby” wasn’t “stoled,” he was liberated from his squalid life of McDonald’s wrappers and corn squeezins.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   puzzled

    There were multiple tapes? How long was this woman in labor? Also, what weirdo actually films birth?
    I always thought it was an urban legend or something.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Palomon bang

      The birth was probably no longer than any other, but shot from many, many angles.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   aaa bang

      Well, you know they need to get a lot of good shots for the director’s cut. And lens flares. Plenty of lens flares.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Gavin

    Aren’t you supposed to chain down chiwawas when you’re not playing with them.

    It’s fugly anyways

    Dec 1, 2009 at 3:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Anniee451

      Yes it’s ugly and it should have been chained but you don’t exactly lock the chains or anything. It’s for his safety is all. Whoever took it is a dick.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 4:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Anniee451

    I do feel sorry for Tobby’s owners; that is just kinda more sad than funny :( Who would take a dog?

    Dec 1, 2009 at 4:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   anglophile bang

      Recent Korean immigrants?

      don’t hit submit don’t hit sub

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:38 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Critical Grass bang

      Adaptation takes time, keep your dogs inside.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Canthz_B bang

      Adaptation takes time, but stir-frying is a pretty quick process.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Anniee451

    and return the tapes! NO ONE needs tapes of someone else’s birth – ew.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 4:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Renagade676

    Two questions:

    1. Who keeps tapes of their kid’s births in backpacks inside their 4 runner? If you have to tape that crap, leave it at home. And by the way, whoever stole the camcorder is an idiot. If you can break into a vehicle, just steal the whole damn thing.

    2. Why would you leave your teacup chihuahua in the front yard unattended? Everything from hawks to rats see them as a food source, they can slip through holes no bigger than your fist, and anyone interested in dog-napping can easily take one look and see that your dog is a purebreed.

    I also find it funny how they both thought these thieves believed in karma and had conciences.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 4:54 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   felix

      It certainly indicates to me that they were intending to inflict those birthing tapes on some poor unsuspecting (and probably unwilling) acquaintance.

      No sympathy.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   Meesh

      And I love how the author of the first note tried to guilt the theif by mentioning her crying child. Like the theif will read that and be like “Oh no! I made a child cry! Well in that case…”

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   farcical aquatic ceremony

      @ felix: I bet the proud parents sent out invites to friends, family, neighbors, virtual strangers, etc., inviting them to ‘experience’ the birth on their new 50″ flatscreen. The invitees pooled the money they would’ve had to have spent burning their eyes out of their sockets with HCl or erasing their memories with the aid of hypnotists to hire a skillful robber to nab (and burn) those tapes.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:16 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Chicken Underwear

    I love random, multiple tabs. It makes me feel like I am getting an email from Mom or Dad.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 5:21 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   John

    Why would you leave ANY dog unattended in the yard? Aside from them being stolen, or escaping, they also get bored and destroy your yard, and bark at everyone, and potentially become become frustrated and then aggressive. If you don’t want to pay attention to your dog or have a dog in your house, don’t get a dog. Unless you live on a farm or something.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 5:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Meesh

      The answer is that people are idiots.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   iypants

    tobby got ate by an owl or a seagull or something.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 7:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   park rose bang

      ated.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   amocksun

    The theives were the despicable ones.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 7:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   bETTY

    You do all realize, that there are also some people whose first language isn’t – a perfect – English!? Thank you very much!

    Dec 1, 2009 at 7:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   anglophile bang

      Are you really trying to blame

                                                                   !!! She Say’s(
      MOMMY WHY     Did They take TOBBY )
      Why Would you Want to Hurt my ,Daughter
                                       By Stealing Her Tobby ???

      On English As A Second Language?

      More like Crazy As A Second Language.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:17 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.2   park rose bang

      I think the writer is trying to write from a kid’s p.o.v. Someone stoled our special Tobby. Y’know, Shirley Temple lisp and all that. I think she was aiming for cute. You can see what happens when you slip a tab or two, though. Everything goes awry.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.3   Gavin

      or people who had caps lock on when they were writing their name?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.4   bETTY

      Oh Gavin, what a lovely thing of you to say.
      Sorry for my typo, but actually now I decided to always use my name in this way, if it really helps someone to have to say something, then it is definitely an amazing thing to do.
      By the way, can’t you use capital letters then? Always thought the beginning of a sentence starts with capitals… hmm, weird.

      And yes, I actually thought that someone who isn’t so familiar with the English language wrote it. With writing “stoled” and “cry’s” and question marks missing or being in the wrong places.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.5   fan bang

      ….slipped tabs? Oh yes, I remember now. The tab that slipped my mind, or did it make my mind slip?

      … i was cleaning the closet…. when i looked over and found the box, the one from years ago. it was full of old vinyl records…i put one on the stereo, just for old times. oh, the memories. as i looked deeper into the box, i saw it. the magic tab,the one i had slipped into the corner to save for another time.
      as i sat there petting tobby on my lap, i saw the little tab of orange sunshine. without ceremony i slipped it onto my tongue, a tiny communion wafer, soon to disolve into wild abandon. the music, the colors, they were glorious. as i sat there in a mind numbing trance.
      i am
      so sorry, i really shouldn’t
      have done
      it…… poor tobby

      i thought he was a small cornish game hen, a tiny morsel of meat, to be savored and enjoyed.

      when it was over, i realised what I had done.

      so sorry.

      well shucks, what can i say……doggone?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.6   park rose bang

      Bravo, fan. That was the kind of interpretation I was hoping to invoke ;)

      By the way, bETTY, I think Gavin was continuing a thought process, so he wouldn’t need a capital letter as he was actually writing a fragment, perhaps. Maybe he should have included ellipsis.

      I put this up yesterday and then took it down, but I’ll do it again. I think she is a native speaker. She has punctuation and spelling mistakes, and her style is from la-la land, or unable-to-use-a-computer land, but her grammar is fine, as is her word order.

      The two mistakes she has which could be called grammatical are her use of ‘stoled’ and a possible missing ‘if’. Little kids often use irregular verbs incorrectly as they are coming to terms with English grammar usage and this is why I think the writer is trying to copy a little kid’s voice.

      Word order, missing third person ‘s’, missing articles, wrong tense usually indicate a non-native English speaker. I don’t think this is the case here. As I said, style, punctuation and spelling are all over the shop, but many native speakers don’t have a clue about punctuation or spelling. Grammar in use and word order, however, most native speakers know how to do this, even if they don’t realise it. I’m sticking with it being a native speaker.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.7   Canthz_B bang

      Nice, fan. When I play my vinyl recording of “How Much Is That Doggy In The Window”, I’ll picture a butcher shop now rather than a pet shop. :-)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.8   Geek Goddess

      Is it this album, CB?

      http://www.eskimo.com/~bpentium/whobutch.html

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.9   Canthz_B bang

      Yup, filed between Air Supply and Bootsy! LOL

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #36.10   littleo

      People whose first language isn’t English may make some mistakes, but not THESE mistakes. These are the unequivocal sign of Native Speaker/Retard Since Birth.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Act bang

    I suspect “Tobby” is an unintelligent rendering of “Toby.” Makes me wonder what the daughter’s name is and how poorly it’s spelled.

    Also, I’m on the “the dog ran away and/or got eaten” train. My guess is the parent knows this and doesn’t want to admit to the kid the dog is probably gone for good. Then again, this does not seem like a reasonable, logical parent so who knows.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 8:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Critical Grass bang

      The daughter’s name is Asshileey.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   Bunnee

      I actually saw a real estate billboard with the name “Duhstin” on it. As in…”Duh! My parents are too stupid to know how to spell Dustin.”

      Dec 1, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.3   MK

      I taught (at a high school in rural Georgia) for a year and I had a student named: Andreaceur. Pronounced? An-DREE-kuh.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.4   anglophile bang

      That was probably to prevent anyone calling him Doostin, Bunnee.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.5   Act bang

      I went to high school with a girl who spelled her name “Krystyna.” I always felt like that was predestining the poor girl to be a stripper. (Also: Cool, Firefox says “predestining” is a word!)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.6   eaa7007

      I too went to school with someone named Krystyna, which is the Polish equivalent of Christine.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.7   mtc

      A new teacher at my primary school was named Mrs. Duffus. At her first school assembly the principal introduced her as “Mrs. Doofus,” to general hilarity.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Quinn

    1. Both are equally despicable due to both the nature of the thefts and the bad formatting of the flyers.

    2. Who names their teacup chihuahua TOBBY!?

    3. Who carries around tapes of their child’s birth!?

    4. Why do I do this: !? so much!?

    Dec 1, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   infant tyrone bang

      1) True, but consultation of the Aquinas Forecaster (Saint’s pre-golf and pre-Nostradamus essay at out-Nostradamusing Nostradamus) shows us that in these 2 cases, both thieves were damned, their punishment being possession, watching, caring and feeding of the other’s kewl l00t, while enduring a lifetime spent inside the skin of the other’s’ victim, with whom they transmigrated souls.

      2) Someone spelling-impaired who is watching for irony at the intersections of the careers of Spiderman and DiCaprio.

      3) Apparently someone on Capitol Hill or Pill Hill in Seattle used to.
      If anyone still does, then presumably either the thief or someone with the condition described in #22.

      4) Youthful enthusiasm ? Subconscious cry for attention ? Genuine mix of surprise and wonder ? Of course these are only intermediate level causes, whose roots may or may not be found after much soul-searching and/or professional consultation. No warranty expressed or implied.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   park rose bang

      Quinn? Because you are mighty. And possibly an Eskimo.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Critical Grass bang

    Note #2 Or The Missing Chihuahua :

    Step 1 – Open Microsoft Word;
    Step 2 – Type The Note;
    Step 3 – Select All;
    Step 4 – Turn The First Letter Of Each Word To Uppercase.

    That’s How It’s Done.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 10:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Tundramunkie

    Maybe Tobby got eaten.

    By my cat. O.o

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Woman on the Verge bang

    Actually, Tobby was taken by the videotape thief and forced to watch birth porn (subtitled – the amazing expanding vajayjay) until he committed suicide. The whole thing was videotaped on the stolen camera and posted to Youtube. PETA will be intervening soon.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   ClearlyDemented

    Dear Thieves,

    Here’s my home address. I have nice things.

    Sincerely,
    Idiot

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:32 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   GalacticCowboy

      Exactly what I was thinking.

      Dec 3, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Chandie

    When I was little, my sister had a car named Stripers. Yes, she spelled it with two P’s.
    Trufax.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   Geek Goddess

      My car is named Kipper. With two P’s. It is a Toyota.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #43.2   infant tyrone bang

      GG,

      You may need to have a chat with Helen about Kipper.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   Edgars

    Maybe someone needs digital cartoon caricature ? Today I have found great website http://www.dedeart.com

    Dec 1, 2009 at 1:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Palomon bang

      Hey, Edgars, nice fucking plug. How big is your cut?
      Asshole.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   T. Katriina

    I’m just astonished that amidst all that dreck, “Chihuahua” is spelled properly.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Neeners

      It wasn’t Chihuahua that was spelled wrong, it was the cute little guys name “Tobby” is actually TOMMY.

      Her daughter had a head cold and she didn’t understand her properly.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 2:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Mandy

    I think the most despicable is the spelling and formatting in the second note.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   OldPandaDayz

    A few things:

    1. Being from the suburban East Coast I was blissfully unaware until reading this comment thread that various birds of prey regularly swoop down and capture/eat small dogs in the state of Washington.
    2. Why would any self-respecting thief WANT to steal a puppy tea-cup chihuahua? Isn’t that like doggie Ransom of Red Chief? Is it worth enough in value to deal with all the yipping etc?

    Dec 1, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Act bang

      1. Really? Because I’m from the suburban east coast, and the birds of prey here function pretty much the same as anywhere else– they eat small animals. Not to mention foxes (my cousin’s dog got in to a fight with a fox when it was younger… fortunately, they didn’t leave her outside alone for long periods of time and were able to chase the fox away before it did serious harm).

      2. To resell… purebred dogs are fucking delicious expensive. Though, as has been said above, I think Occam’s Razor disagrees with the assertion that the dog was stolen.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.2   OldPandaDayz

      Well in coastal NJ the only birds of prey I ever saw were seagulls and they never carried off a small dog. And living in DC the closest I get to wild animals are rats, squirrels and whatever is in the National Zoo. Hence nature in action makes me nervous, I’m a city dweller and proud of it.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.3   Renagade676

      We have eagles and hawks and owls up here. If anything smaller than a full grown housecat is at risk, I’m certain Tobby has a good chance of being Big Bird’s jerky.

      As for the possibility of Tobby being stolen to be resold, a thief doesn’t have to make alot off of selling Toby. Any profit is 100% more than what they originally got the dog for.

      That, and I know people who steal just for the sake of stealing, thinking that it makes their dumb asses look clever. I know a guy who stole half of a trailer hitch and bragged about it. He didn’t even have a trailer to attach it to.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.4   Canthz_B bang

      Peregrine falcons:

      “There are 15 territorial pairs of which 13 bred successfully in 2001 in New York City on bridges and buildings. The falcons are drawn to the city by the cliff-like topography of high-rise buildings and by the plethora of food (pigeons, sparrows, starlings, etc.).”

      So, while not being puppy-snatchers, there are birds of prey in the Northeastern US.
      Even in cities.

      In D.C. the most active and interesting wildlife is not found in the National Zoo (A.K.A. the Supreme Court), it’s mostly found on Capitol Hill and on K Street.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.5   Geek Goddess

      The binoculars on the bookshelf in my living room are for bird watching! Strictly for bird watching! Notice the field guide to birds next to them!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #47.6   Canthz_B bang

      I too use mine to watch chicks! :-D

      Dec 1, 2009 at 9:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #48   SaveTobby!

    If she can’t spell “Toby” correctly, I shudder to think what that woman named her daughter and how she spelled said name. My sister is a teacher who had a child in her class with an interesting name. The mother went postal when my sister couldn’t figure out to say the child’s name during “Get to Know Your Teacher Night.” The little girl’s name was “L-sha.” How would you pronounce that? The first person who guesses wins a tiny teacup chihuahua with only a small bit of frostbite around the toes and ears.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   pony girl

      why is that child even in school? it’s obvious that the mother wants her little girl to grow up to be a stripper or a hooker, why send her to school?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.2   cc

      i’m gonna go ahead and say “la-dash-uh.” because that’s the stupidest way i can make that work. am i right?

      Dec 1, 2009 at 5:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.3   moody

      I’m gonna go ahead and say, “urban legend” because I’ve heard this story from a few friends of friends!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 6:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.4   Yaz

      It’s supposed to be “Le-a”

      Ledasha. Yeah, it’s an urban legend.

      http://www.babynamewizard.com/archives/2009/10/ledasha-legends-and-race-part-one

      Dec 1, 2009 at 7:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.5   Geek Goddess

      Lehyphena

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #48.6   park rose bang

      Comes in two variations; laughing and spotted, and the variations between them are exactly the same.

      Then, of almost the same genus, are those that exhibit a rugged kind of individualism, spaced out, stand alone, evenly divided between two worlds. Conversely, yet another species cannot bear to not be in close physical proximity to others, and draws everything together, making it whole.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #49   LordOfThePants

    “dammit, Linda, my name’s not Tobby, it’s Kunta Kinte…”

    Dec 1, 2009 at 3:05 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Joe 2

    I kinda feel sorry for Person A, but Person B is a full retard. And of course, we all know NEVER to go full retard. (“Remember Sean Penn in I AM SAM?”)

    Dec 1, 2009 at 8:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   Act bang

      I got that reference. In case you were wondering.

      (Mostly, it just kind of thrills me because I never get movie refs. Wow, I have posted in this thread way too much.)

      Dec 1, 2009 at 8:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   KC_Sunshine_Man

    I gotta put on
    My my my my my Tobby shoes.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Beth

    Wow, has anybody else noticed that the picture has a shadow behind it – and appears to actually be a photo glued to the paper?

    And the face has been cut out of the picture, too. I wonder if that is , my 8 year old Daughter???????

    Dec 1, 2009 at 10:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   mystic_eye

    I hate to say it but people survived just fine before camcorders were invented. In fact no one, except maybe you, will ever want to see video of your wedding or birth ever again. Your kids are certainly never going to want to see it! And while some friends might fake their way through a wedding video to make you happy, not so much with childbirth.

    The dog is irreplaceable, its something that is missed every single day. OTH get your kid another dog, show them life goes on and you don’t have to let evil people ruin your life.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Popcornbytes

    The formatting, spacing and insane italicizing & punctuation on that second one made me crack up. Hilarious!

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   time_waster

    I just love the second sign. Its got some pizzazz to it. Tobby is at first the eight year old’s dog, then the parent’s dog. Also, using the parenthesis instead of quotation marks was a very nice touch. Oh, and the sweet legibility, or lack of, brought it all together. Then, there’s the classic – guilting. “Why would you want to hurt my daughter by stealing her Tobby?”. Let’s not forget the capatilization of “Daughter”, even though it doesn’t start a sentence and it isn’t a proper noun. Last but not least – no grammar is least – are the question marks used to puncuate a declarative sentence. Ahh, sweet grammar… It’s about as bitchy as karma. :)

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Reno

    It is insanely reatrted to leave a chihuahua unattended in your front yard because they are constantly being stolen for use as bait in dog fighting matches.

    Especially in rural places, people drive around in vans just searching for not just unattended fighting dogs like pit bulls and rottweilers but also bait dogs like chihuahua’s and other small breeds.

    This lady needs to get a fucking clue, and we should all feel really, really horrible that this happened. Bad times all around.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 9:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #56.1   Reno

      Aaaaahahahahahahahaha. Spelling “retarded” wrong is the best thing I’ve done all day. It’s all downhill from here, I’m going back to bed.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #56.2   mystic_eye

      I agree, its the high point of your day.

      But really shouldn’t people be able to let their dogs have a break from the annoying kids without the dog getting stolen…

      ..can you tell I want to have some quiet time away from my kids?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #56.3   park rose bang

      You might want to think your comment through, mystic_eye.

      Dec 16, 2009 at 6:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #57   jason

    B.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 8:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Isobel

    Dear lord – could there possibly be any more spelling and grammatical errors in that second note? I’ve never seen anything like it.

    Dec 3, 2009 at 2:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   ggthewifey

    My guess is that the owner of the Chihuahua is foreign… not illiterate.

    Dec 3, 2009 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   jinx

    I don’t know what’s more disturbing all the question marks or that the note is addressed to the dog. He clearly ran off for a reason. I hope the 8 year old wrote this. Which makes sense because we all know children under 10 like to write notes, or make phone calls, and pretend they’re an adult/their parent. I keep thinking of my old Chinese algebra teacher. She used to call my classmate Tubee (Tube-e) instead of Toby. LOL I still to this day have no idea how you get tubee from Toby.

    Dec 3, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Zoe

    Oh god I have a white chihuahua just like that and now I want to cry FOREVER.

    Dec 4, 2009 at 4:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   the wolf

    Judging by the area code, Tobby is in Chicago. Mystery solved!

    Dec 6, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   FunFunRaRa

    e.e. cummings called. He wants his chihauha back.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 4:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #63.1   Nick Noehm

      but you can keep your caps

      Dec 10, 2009 at 7:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.2   park rose bang

      nice retort, grasshopper.

      Dec 10, 2009 at 7:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #63.3   Nick Noehm

      many thanks, pr

      and now i must jump away, as i have urgent business in another thread

      gathering into a leA!p …

      Dec 10, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #64   Fujifan

    I’m impressed. If someone pulled a runner on my backpack with a video camera in it, I don’t think I’d be so kind as to give him my home address so he could come by sometime for my computer, TV, extra tapes, etc. I mean, you can’t expect the poor guy to finish his magnum opus without a full video editing station, do you? He can’t even afford his own video camera!

    Dec 19, 2009 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #65   sarah

    Too bad coyotes can’t read. And they actually enjoy making 8-yr-old girls cry.

    Mar 22, 2010 at 7:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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