What say you, Emily Post?

December 1st, 2009 · 139 comments

As an early holiday gift to you, I present the current leading candidate in the race for “douchecanoe of the year”…

Shoshana will be accepting wedding gifts from those 'friends' who didn't give us anything the first time round. Don't say you're giving us the gift of friendship because that is so lame. Honestly. Get on our gift registry and get us something!! Or some cash would be nice :)

UPDATE: Our anonymous tipster passes along this follow-up status update, adding, “The best part about this situation is that, by posting her latest status update, she just encouraged more people to come see how rude and greedy she is!”

Shoshana will be accepting wedding gifts from those 'friends' who didn't give us anything the first time round. Don't say you're giving us the gift of friendship because that is so lame. Honestly. Get on our gift registry and get us something!! Or some cash would be nice :)

related: Facebook wedding drama

extra credit: DISLIKE!

FILED UNDER: etiquette · Facebook · most popular notes of 2009 · smiley · weddings and bridezillas


139 responses so far ↓

  • #1   RebelKnightCSA bang

    FIRST!

    But yeah…they’re douchecanoes. I’d not give them anything.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   chrys

      Seriously? PA needs to change “first” to ass or something… a la woot.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   JetJackson

      Takes a douchecanoe to know a douchecanoe!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:18 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Canthz_B bang

      …and that’s why The South lost the war, boys and girls…bless their hearts.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:25 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Neeners

      Honestly, Shoshana, your the one who’s lame….oh yeah and the person who called first too.

      Those who get to post first should be held to a higher standard from now on. If you cannot be witty, at least don’t be a titty!

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Critical Grass bang

      There’s another douchecanoe posting first at the first comment. Not cool, people. And definetily not PA.

      Mo, hunny, what happened to that “safe word” we agreed on?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 7:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Mo® bang

      Hunny you talkin’ to me? ♥

      Dec 2, 2009 at 7:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Critical Grass bang

      Yes, sweetie.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 8:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   The Great Joe Bivins

      “…and that’s why The South lost the war”

      Because they ran onto the battlefield shouting “first!” and lost the element of surprise?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 10:42 am   rating: 116  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Mo® bang

      For you, all memory of a safe word is lost.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   AuntyBron

      Well, I disagree. I think posting “First” when you’re the first is a pratically perfectly example of passive agressiveness. Rock on, Rebel!

      Dec 3, 2009 at 12:47 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Sarah

    I’ll hop right on down to the local ‘Bed, Bath and Whatabitch’ store and get you a nice punch to the ovaries. How does that sound?

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:17 pm   rating: 232  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   crumplet

      20% off with a free bitchslap

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Neeners

      She really doesn’t have any ovaries, she’s a duct tape queen if you know what I mean.

      Dec 1, 2009 at 11:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Critical Grass bang

      Uh! I’ll be doing a lot of my Christmas shopping at that store.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 7:50 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Doesn’t Shoshana know that small gifts are appropriate for small-minded people?
    She should feel blessed to have friends who know her so well.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:23 pm   rating: 85  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Tim Kolb

      Ha, That’s the the response I get from waitresses when I only give them a dollar tip. But the food was lousy and overpriced, the service is terrible, and nobody was around that I really cared to impress. What do you expect?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:01 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Canthz_B bang

      15%?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:11 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   anglophile bang

      Tim, I have just the thread for you.

      Enjoy.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 6:41 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Timmy

    What a gift whore!

    How about a big pile of crap in a paper bag?

    Happy F’ing Wedding!

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:26 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kdaniel

      I bet she’d accept a gift whore; it might not be on their registry, but it doesn’t count as “small stuff” either!

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Maverick

    Jesus, entitled much?

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:28 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   park rose bang

      Well, I am the son of God.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Geek Goddess

      Rose, I thought we had agreed that you didn’t need to call me God.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   park rose bang

      eekess, you came running, though and I had missed you so ;)

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   JetJackson

    ummmm, ahhhh, ummmm, ummmm….

    Spit it out fucktard!

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   TheOldSchool

      All she wants is to live her married life sucking off the bountiful tit of her “friends.” Is that so wrong?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Mo® bang

      I want pictures…
      Is that so wrong?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:12 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    “Honey, the food processor isn’t working.”

    “The blender and juicer are on the fritz too.”

    “Let’s renew our vows.”

    “What?! With ‘friends’ like ours?!”

    “Can’t you just Facebook them that we need shit? Network it, Baby…Network your ass off!”

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:30 pm   rating: 92  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   crumplet

    I look foward to seeing this on Lamebook too

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:32 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   JetJackson

    I don’t think she realises how much it took her “friends” to give the gift of friendship.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:32 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   marky mark

    hmm name is shoshanna, someone says mazel tov and she feels like the world owes her expensive presents. the cheap jew stereotype is all too true.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:35 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Tim Kolb

      Ja, My reply prob would not end in mozel tov. But like someone one said in less words earlier; It takes one to know one!

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Lhyzz

      I knew the anti-semites would pop up on this one. Why can’t I downvote a comment? Since I can’t, I’ll just tell you to fuck off.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:44 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   mamason bang

      I knew the overly sensitive, can’t take a joke, PCs would pop up on this one.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 5:46 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   park rose bang

      You called?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 7:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    I’ll send her a fat check (cheque). Of course, it will be from my ex-wife’s now defunct bank account, but it will have a beautiful Precious Moments background and be made out for an insanely large sum.

    Suitable for framing, I think.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:40 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Lori

      FUNNY!

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   anglophile bang

      Precious Moments checks, CB? You were well out of that marriage.

      :roll:

      Dec 2, 2009 at 6:42 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   mes

      I think I would send them this check.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 10:00 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   mystic_eye

      I think it would be funnier if it was just a number not an equation, maybe 2i or -2π

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Mark bang

      Um, look again, mystic_eye. That is NOT an equation (do you see an equality sign?), it is in fact a number.

      /pedantic nerd

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   park rose bang

      mystic_eye, don’t pay too much attention to Mark’s pedants. They’re circa 1970, wouldn’t look out of place on Burt Reynold’s chest hair (circa 1970- something), and well, he admits to the second part of the equation. ;)

      Dec 2, 2009 at 5:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   anglophile bang

      Pedantic nerds are my favorite kind.

      Except maybe for tantric nerds.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 5:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Quinn

    The S.S. Douchebaggery is moving through – all aboard!!

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Neeners

    Hey Shoshanass! Don’t know if you’ve noticed but there’s a g.d. recession going on. Do ya think that maybe someone might be more worried about making their mortgage payment and keeping their kids in diapers than buying that espresso machine you put on your registry at Nordstrom’s? No wonder your friends don’t get you anything, I think they’ve deserted you.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:42 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   bob loblaw.

    For how fucking awful she seems, I’d say the gift of friendship is actually the biggest gift of all. If I were someone she knew, I’d rather shell out wads of cash than ever have to be this twat’s friend.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:46 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Amanda

      AMEN.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 6:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   AuntyBron

      With a ‘tude like that I’m betting she won’t get more than one.

      Dec 3, 2009 at 12:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Kleo

    You know, if I saw that, I’d run out to Borders and pick up a Miss Manners book for her, delivered with a suitably sarcastic card.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 78  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   shwonline bang

      Now that’s PA!

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:08 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Shance-a-lot

      yes but also “poetic justice”

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   aaa bang

    I think I’d get them a gift. But then again, my idea of a gift suited for materialistic, entitled douchecanoes is crapping in a box, wrapping it up in really nice paper, and sending it to them in the mail.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Neeners

      But then your out 42 cents.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   aaa bang

      Nothing I can’t fish out of the couch. It would be well worth it.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Canthz_B bang

      Not me…I just don’t give a shit.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:18 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   e

    I’d likely go to the park and pick up a good deal of dog shit and put it in a box from Tiffany’s and mail it to them. If I wasn’t invited (to wedding one or wedding two…) and she wrote that on her Facebook, I’d do her the honor of filling the box myself.

    Dec 1, 2009 at 11:57 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Seanette bang

    Makes you wonder just what this selfish brat thinks a wedding is.

    Normal adult: “My wedding: celebrating the start of my marriage and the life my spouse and I will have together.”

    Shoshanna: “My wedding: I’m the queen, you MUST bow down to me and pay tribute selected from the overpriced luxury clutter I registered for and I don’t care if you can pay your bills this month. You OWE me the material goods of my choosing for the privilege of knowing me.”

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Neeners

      It’s ok, she can get all the stuff she wanted and didn’t get on her second marriage, and the third, and the fourth. I think she’ll have a long history of divorce and remarriage after not getting what she wants out of life and walking all over people with her big ass attitude. God forbid she has a kid, can you imagine what she’ll post to everyone who threw her a surprise baby shower?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Bunnee

      I think this is why they invented the show “Bridezillas”…..

      Dec 2, 2009 at 9:41 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Neeners

    Is it proper to ask for wedding gifts twice if you didn’t get something the first time? Why didn’t someone tell me this when I got married? I completely missed out on that concept, (being sensitive enough to not ask for shit I don’t need.)

    Someone set up one of those damn money trees at our wedding without asking. It looked like Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree it was so sparse. But hey, we were smart enough to take a hint.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Seanette bang

      I’m pretty sure most etiquette experts consider it hideously improper to shove your hand in someone’s face and yell “GIMME!!!!!” like this brat is doing.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:38 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   JetJackson

    All I can think of is Colonel Hans Landa…

    “Au revoir, Shosanna! Till we meet again!”

    If it were this Shoshanna I’d be on Team pull the trigger.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:11 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   jason

      Wow, THAT’S harsh.

      Dec 3, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   thedaniel

    that’s really big of them that they’ll still accept gifts from their “friends” who didn’t give them anything tangible the first time around. i think if i was one of their “friends” i might give them a gold medal honoring their tact.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   aaa bang

    Looks like Shoshanna could stand a trip over to Etiquette Hell.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:19 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Carlo

      That site is a monument of passive aggression.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   RoxyBlue

      Thanks for the link. Etiquette Hell is a real slice of modern “social” behaviour.

      Dec 3, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Nini

    Wow… greedy much, Shoshannass? Sounds like Mommy and Daddy turned someone into a rude, demanding, insufferable biotch.

    The gift of friendship, so lame…

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:07 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Nini

    Oh and I hope someone posts this link to her facebook :D

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:09 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   TheOldSchool

    The “Ove Glove” now comes with nonslip silicone grips, and it’s machine washable. That might make a nice gift (assuming the newlyweds both enjoy cooking meals at home).

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:16 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose bang

      Wow, that really exists. I thought you might have been making a pun on the Oy vey Glove. Maybe you were.
      Who wouldn’t appreciate a glove like that? Glove is all you need*, after all (*stolen from the google entry below the Ove Glove entry).

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   infant tyrone bang

      Having used an Ove Glove, I didn’t jump to Oy Vey so quickly…

      Having read TOS’ blog, though, he very well may have intended well-inventoried readers to invisibly visit JAP-an (or JA-PAN).

      For those interested in constructing a bridge from where they are to the monarchy of Ninjaville, use any or all of the following words or phrases: Dishes, Favorite W(h)ine, Reservations, Facing Tiffany’s.

      *Glove is just a four letter word ?
      *Stolen from Bob Dylan.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Anna

    Oh, she’s seen it before on STFU Marrieds… she actually asked me (under an alternym of course!) how I’d feel if people didn’t give me any presents on my big day (I’d actually be OK with it. There’s only so much silverware and dishes one really needs) and was all defensive and butt-hurt that we dared to call her out for the selfish bitch she is. I mean this bitch is like mid-30′s!LOL she doesn’t realize when some of us strike out on our own, we buy OURSELVES those fancy appliances.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:17 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   park rose bang

      All of a sudden I’m on Team Shoshana.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:16 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Anna

      More power to you if you’d rather fork out money for gifts for a selfish bitch ….

      Dec 2, 2009 at 10:56 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   lili

    tacky tacky, jewish princess! you’d think your parents would’ve taught you how to at least fake friendship when trying to swindle cash and gifts since they spent so much time spoiling you!

    at least her friends now have an excuse not to go to her wedding!

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:45 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   James

    Wait a minute…

    Forgive me if this has already come up in the comments, but I just discovered that since October 18, Kerry seems to have discovered Caps.

    Right?… RIGHT!?

    Dec 2, 2009 at 3:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   park rose bang

      Just wait until she discovers the tab key…

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   anglophile bang

      Yeah, it’s kinda freaking me out, James.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 6:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Critical Grass bang

      Wait… You discovered that she discovered the Caps key? What a discoverer you are, James! BRA-freaking-VO!

      Dec 2, 2009 at 8:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   clumber

      … annnnd tonight on The Discovery Channel….

      Dec 2, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   Mo® bang

      OOoooh good for you!

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   ghostbuck

    Gee Shoshanna…

    First, sorry about the name. I’m sure it explains a lot about your personality issues. Parents can be so cruel.

    Second, I’d be happy to send you a present, but here’s the catch, I want it back. See, I know there is no guy on this earth who is going to stay with your greedy and shrill ass more than a few months so I’d like you to return it when he walks out? ‘K?

    Congratulations on your first husband!

    Dec 2, 2009 at 4:05 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   CowTippingBlues

      It’s a very typical Jewish name. It’s not like one of those made-up “this is ethnic, really it is” names black kids often get like Laqueesha or Gonorrhea or something like that.

      Dec 6, 2009 at 3:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Gavin

    Dear Shoshana,

    It appears that you are not content with the return on capital invested on your first venture – congratulations on securing yourself a second shot at it though.

    To maximise profits this time round you can save yourself on overheads by reducing the number you’re catering for. Since there is not enough to gain from my ‘gift of friendship’, I will no longer be affording you this hence forth.

    I hope you will have piece of mind this time round to enjoy a wedding. It would appear that a wedding to you is more about what personal gain than the groom, or your friends.

    Wishing you a profitable wedding, and a fortunate divorce,

    Dec 2, 2009 at 4:38 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Renagade676

    She should be happy she gets any gifts. A friend of mine’s grandmother was so cheap, she gave her grandson and his bride an alluminum roasting pan for a wedding gift.

    No, she wasn’t senile.

    I’d have a hard time resisting the urge to tell shoshana”I was waiting for the next one, knowing you and your ‘sunny and selfless’ personality. You know what they say, third time’s a charm!”

    Dec 2, 2009 at 4:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Geek Goddess

      Maybe Grandma is on a very limited income, and can’t afford any more. They should be happy they get any gifts.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:38 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   park rose bang

      Plus, she knows that aluminium (yes we spell it differently, and pronounce it differently) can cause dementia (Mark, you don’t have to disprove this) – really, she’s doing them a favour. You really don’t want to look after Gran once her Alzheimer’s is fully blown. Then again, they’ll hopefully sell it at a garage sale before their own faculties start to slip.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 5:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.3   Geek Goddess

      You spelll it “alluminium”
      I spelll it “alluminum”
      “alluminium”, “alluminum”
      Llet’s calll the wholle thing off.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.4   park rose bang

      I knew she’d misspelt it, but even with the correct spelling, it’s different to my correct spelling ;)
      Nice ditty, by the way.

      Dec 3, 2009 at 6:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Sarah

    I think by “first time around” she means the engagement. So she’s not even married yet and already complaining that she hasn’t got enough presents.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 5:08 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   cyntae

    I’d give ‘em something, all right. How about a clue and a reality check on that sense of entitlement?

    Dec 2, 2009 at 5:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   anglophile bang

    Oh, how I hope she is registered at Regretsy.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 6:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Havingfitz

    What I wouldn’t give to have some random guy burst into the ceremony hysterically crying, point at the groom, and yell “You said you were leaving her! You said you’d tell her the truth about us! I hate you, you bitch!”

    Dec 2, 2009 at 7:14 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   infant tyrone bang

      Forget what you wouldn’t give…
      What *would* you give ?
      There’s more than a little talent on this site…and there’s a recession on.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 8:13 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Gavin

      Takes one to know one, fancy a bum?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 8:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.3   park rose bang

      Could I bum a fag offa ya, Gav?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 7:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Critical Grass bang

    Her boyfriend/fiancè/husband is so lucky to have her… Imagine all the naggind and psychological abuse she puts him through. Ah, how I miss married life.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 8:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Lunakitty

    I know exactly what to give her – a selfish b**ch cake.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 8:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Mo® bang

      With sprinkles?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   unholyghost2003 bang

    I would wait until I was invited over to be slave labor have a girl party and wrap hundreds of wedding favors and then take back any gift I had previously given. if my friendship (and labor/skills) are not enough I have plenty of use for that wand blender at my own house!

    Dec 2, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   laurie

    Want money, Shoshana? Let me write you a check for $5.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 9:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   RebelKnightCSA bang

      And have your bank kick your arse for bothering them with a cheque that small. Noice!

      I also like the passive-aggressive notes left after I called FIRST. Noice again.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   park rose bang

      You can make up for it now, RebelKnightCSA.

      Thirty-Nine point Oneth!!!!

      Though I think we might have been here before.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   Feh!

    “Douchecanoe”? Nah. I’m pretty sure the appropriate phrase here is “ungrateful and greedy cunt”.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Nikki

    Maybe they didn’t give you any gifts because you’re a BITCH and they could think of millions of better ways to use their money – like to start a fire.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   ShockedISay

    The tackiness of Shoshana’s request left me literally breathless! As a honest-to-goodness Southern debutante (OK, it was once upon a time and I was snarky and subversive even then), I am absolutely mortified that she is not mortified by her behavior! Who lives like this and thinks it’s OK? Great yikes!

    Oh, and I confess, IMMEDIATELY after reading her request, I wanted to call someone who knows her and gossip about her and how tacky she is.

    Is that wrong?

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      how could it be wrong when it feels so right?

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   OKCancel bang

    “Divorce for Dummies” always makes a great wedding gift.

    Dec 2, 2009 at 12:52 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #43.1   mystic_eye

      Hehe is it too late for pre-nup for dummies sent to the fiancé =))

      Dec 2, 2009 at 4:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #44   N/A

    If only facebook had been around when I got married, I could have guilted so many people in to getting me gifts.

    Really the lack of gifts didn’t bother me all that much, it was only the people who couldn’t be bothered buying a card or even saying congratulations that bugged me. What kind of loser goes to a wedding and just sits around getting drunk without even saying hi to the happy couple?

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   park rose bang

      After more years than I can count in AA, I’ve sobered up now, N/A. I’m mortified for my past behaviour. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:56 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   RS

    Is this a repost, or am I insane? (I’m pretty sure it’s one or the other.)

    Dec 2, 2009 at 1:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   park rose bang

      I think one of her “friends” submitted it to STFU Marrieds.

      Dec 2, 2009 at 1:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.2   RS

      Oh, looks like you’re right. This entry’s “related” link leads to an entry that leads to this (which actually has one more post from that thread).

      Dec 2, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Geek Goddess

    !

    Dec 2, 2009 at 10:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Monica

    Shoshana gives the word “bitch” a new dimension.

    Dec 3, 2009 at 7:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   YorkPeppermintPattie

    It’s a Jew thing.

    Dec 3, 2009 at 10:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Deny a man his web comics? How dare you. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Shoshana, it looks like you have some competition. [...]

    Dec 3, 2009 at 10:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   eslinger bang

    Just wanna note that “cuntkayak” is another winner version of “douchecanoe.” There’s another term involving the word “schooner” that an acquaintance of mine created last month, but I’ve yet to remember it. I won’t take credit for the creation of “cuntkayak,” but I will definitely take credit for the inspiration for its creation. Will try to recall (or find out) the “schooner” term in the meantime.

    Dec 4, 2009 at 4:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Grant

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/oxfordshire/8394986.stm

    Yeah, my heart bleeds for you both.

    Dec 4, 2009 at 8:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   My Baby Sweetness

    That is AWESOME!

    My closest experience on this front was I got a wedding invite with a note that the couple “graciously prefers monetary gifts.” We went to the wedding and brought them a gift (not of the monetary variety because – whatever!) and recently got the thank you note. It was pre-printed – except not exactly… a typed note was cut out (badly) and pasted inside their stationary. It read – we’re sorry you couldn’t make it to the reception, but thank you for your generous gift. The killer, here – we WERE at the reception. We congratulated them, we danced – so much so that the DJ even dedicated a song to my husband (well, it was play that funky music, white boy, but still!).

    Dec 4, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Paula

    There are lots of really great finds at the Goodwill or Salvation Army stores that would make a lovely wedding present for such a spoiled brat.

    Dec 4, 2009 at 12:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   BRANE

    I suffered through these comments and noted that nobody pointed out how terribly passive aggressive it is to post her facebook status on a website in the first place. Shoshana is a greedy bitch , but I find it ironic that the response to an aggressive-aggressive action is a passive-aggressive action.

    By the way YOU SUCK to the people who post 10 comments on EVERY post, mostly just talking to each other. You know who you are

    Dec 8, 2009 at 8:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      I agree whole heartedly BRANE. Internet decorum people! everyone should only post ONCE, posting more than once suggests that you have more than one thought or opinion on the subject.

      and obviously addressing comments to other posters is just rude.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.2   park rose bang

      I agree wholeheartedly BRANE and UHG.

      As an aside, what website did Shoshana post her facebook status on? The facebook website? I wonder where else she would post her facebook status?

      Who are these people who post 10 comments on EVERY post?! You know who you are. Come forward and prolong our misery!

      PssstBRANE, you better not check out the Euphemisms of Disturb thread. It was the weekend. We were bored…

      Dec 8, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.3   anglophile bang

      Oh noes! I only posted 5 times on this thread! I need to post 5 more to achieve maximum suckage.

      One down.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 9:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.4   infant tyrone bang

      glo’,
      OK, DROP AND GIVE ME FOUR MORE, RECRUIT!!

      Pssst….Brane-i-ac,
      I don’t know how to do that link retitling thing that some folks do here…mostly ’cause I’m too busy over-posting, so this won’t be as funny
      as if I were able to call it ‘www.internetblogpostingguidelines.org’

      http://getyourownmotherfuckingblogasshole.wordpress.com/

      Dec 8, 2009 at 11:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #54.5   anglophile bang

      It’s too hard. I’ll never be as sucky as I could be. :(

      Dec 9, 2009 at 12:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #55   Hmmm

    The joke is on whoever Shoshanna is. This isn’t the only site where her status has been posted.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Hmmm

      And laughed/gawked at, I should add…

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   Angfucious

    ummmmmmmmmmm…wow…………..ummmmmmmmm….I’m one of those people that…. ummmmmmmmmmm…. can’t be silent and have to fill the void with … ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…noise.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 7:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   hmmm

    actually I know her and this is ridiculous. How would you like it if a status of yours got sent to this website for everyone to see and make fun of?

    The person who did it doesn’t even know her, that’s why her REAL friends don’t care and we think it’s hilarious because all of you assholes on here have the totally wrong view of the situation.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #57.1   Seanette bang

      And what, pray tell, would be the “right” view of some entitled princess howling her head off on Facebook because her wedding wasn’t materially lucrative enough and insulting her friends for not shelling out enough loot?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #58   hmmm

    No, maybe if you knew her then you would know about the situation. So why take something out of context and then post it all over the internet.

    See all of you on this website commenting on this and laughing at someone elses expense will one day have it happen to you and then you won’t find it as funny.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #58.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      I submitted my own note. I found it very funny.
      Do you find riding your high horse uncomfortable with that sick shoved so far up there?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #59   jinx

    I love how she has no problems with her friends and family seeing she’s a selfish bitch, but millions of strangers knowing certainly seems to piss her off.

    Kinda suprised her status update wasn’t she got dumped…

    Dec 9, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   listgirl3 bang

    I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter if you know her or not, if there’s some magical situation or not – no one should ever ask for gifts for a wedding like she did, ever. If you are going to publicly post something as dumb as that on the internet, then you have to be aware that it may end up being the joke of the day somewhere else.

    If you don’t want it posted on the front page of the Tribune, don’t put it on the internet (or in an email)…little rule of thumb ;)

    Dec 9, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     

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