Our submitter in Dublin, California was leaving her apartment for work one morning when she found this syntactically-challenged note stuck to the door. “I assume my anonymous complaining neighbor has the wrong apartment number because A) My husband and I do not have children and B) For all but one of the dates listed no one was home to make any noise.”
She adds: ” We do, however, have other neighbors next door who are quite loud, and I’ve often been woken up to the sounds of moans, grunts and something heavy slamming into an adjoining wall.” (You know, just like that part in Big where they play pinball and jump on the trampoline!)
“When my husband saw this he laughed pretty hard and wondered aloud weather ‘kids jumping on the bed‘ was a euphemism for loud sex.”
related: Down and dirty down under (dear)
335 responses so far ↓
#1
kim
gladding – lol
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:14 pm rating: 8
#2
Timmy
Sounds like Engrish
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:17 pm rating: 4
#3
Girl Friday
It would make it less appears and I would gladding appreciate if your having sex to please invited me next time.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:18 pm rating: 117
#4
famous_lizzy
I get the feeling that since he/she took the time to write out the note, yet not read it over, that they printed out a bunch of copies (one for every door) and, if they noticed the mistakes at all, knew there were too many pages to reprint them.
Or, they can’t spell or accurately discern where noise is coming from.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:22 pm rating: 4
#5
Lindsay
i gladding write my neighb a notes after several instance of disturb. perhaps i does writings on drunk. alcohol make errors less appears!
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:31 pm rating: 21
#6
OH!meso
I so ronery, oh so ronery. Me love you long time.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:32 pm rating: 10
#7
crumplet
This is unacceptable, I wouldn’t let my kids to have loud sex at that sorta hours.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:49 pm rating: 41
#8
JetJackson
October 1 at 3:43am – a bit of ‘roll-over, are you awake, oh you are, fancy a bit of…. ‘ disturb.
October 19 at 11:30pm – a bit of ‘thanks for doing the dishes and putting out the rubbish like I asked you’ disturb.
October 21 at 7:00am – a bit of ‘fuck it, I will call in a sickie for the morning’ disturb.
November 03 at 11:50pm – a bit of ‘nothing but shitty late night tv on’ disturb.
I love a good bit of disturb!
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:53 pm rating: 68
#9
justin
sure, it’s the KIDS that are making the mattress and bed bang against the wall at 3:43am. no hanky panky going on at all.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:53 pm rating: 7
#10
Jonathan
All I can tell from the note is that the neighb couple needs to get down on it more regularly. At this rate I’ll never be able to justify installing that hidden webcam!
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:53 pm rating: 9
#11
Canthz_B
Sounds like an escapee from a CIA sleep deprivation experiment.
Dec 2, 2009 at 8:58 pm rating: 3
#12
KryVin
HOURS OF DISTURB sounds like the name of a lame post-hardcore metal band
Dec 2, 2009 at 9:16 pm rating: 20
#13
T.U.M.
“The Hours of Disturb” was the best J-horror movie ever.
Dec 2, 2009 at 9:20 pm rating: 10
#14
Delurker
I don’t understand why you’re all jumping to the conclusion that it is due to sex. I have the answer, the submitter stated that “no one was home to make any noise,” so there’s really only one plausible explanation. . .when they are out of the apartment, it is taken over by young squatters who bring a trampoline and bounce a lot. What better place to hang out than an empty apartment where minimal disturb will happening?
Dec 2, 2009 at 10:12 pm rating: 17
#15
Havingfitz
Listen, Mr. Neighbor! It’s my apartment and I’m a grown-up and I’ll use my inflatable Dora the Explorer Bouncy Castle any time I want!
Dec 2, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 28
#16
Critical Grass
Me not go comment at these one, because that’s obviously write in prefect Engrish. You guys is
travelingtriping.Dec 2, 2009 at 10:54 pm rating: 4
#17
ClearlyDemented
The following must be read with a character-on-The Hills voice:
OMG, I think I found the Nigerian prince who I lost touch with after sending him the $10,000 he needed to buy a plane ticket so he could bring me the check for my portion of the bars of gold granpappy buried in his mother’s palace’s garden while they were sleeping together during the war! He might even be my half-uncle or something! Greatest. Day. Ever.
Dec 2, 2009 at 11:02 pm rating: 7
#18
time_waster
i don’t think that was children bouncing on the bed… something a bit more… fun(perverse)… was going on. but thats just my opinion
Dec 2, 2009 at 11:09 pm rating: 2
#19
cellardoor
This is a lame entry. Admittedly the English is pretty sad, but it`s hardly passive aggressive. I thought it was pretty direct, and not at all rude.
Dec 2, 2009 at 11:10 pm rating: 3
#20
Jane
This is the sweetest note ever! And my heart goes out to this poor guy who just wants to get maybe 6 hours sleep before going back to work.
My guess is that 100% of the people dissing this guy’s English have never spoken any other language whatsoever. I’m all for enjoying the “gladding” and such, but not when you’re making fun of a person who tried as hard as he could to be polite. You can laugh at the ESL without laughing at the ESL writer.
Dec 2, 2009 at 11:20 pm rating: 14
#21
aaa
Please not to the disturb
I know your kids are having sex
And you’re jumping on beds
Dec 2, 2009 at 11:24 pm rating: 6
#22
time_waster
nope. it had 6, 8, 6 syllables. but it was funny
Dec 2, 2009 at 11:54 pm rating: 1
#23
aaa
It is now morning
Now I will bang on the wall
I suck at haiku
Dec 3, 2009 at 12:25 am rating: 4
#24
time_waster
Let it be is a very good song actually. that was the only part of your comment i understand though. i will attempt. this is america, not japan (i know haiku is a japanese poem) and i was taught that it is 5 syllables then 7 then five again
Dec 3, 2009 at 12:54 am rating: 0
#25
Geek Goddess
A full winter moon
Approaches coldest midnight
My time zone; need sleep
Dec 3, 2009 at 1:35 am rating: 4
#26
Sarah
I got one a lot like that about “raucus [sic] behaviour” late at night, ie, when we’re all in bed, or at least watching TV quietly in our rooms etc. One night the lady even banged on the ceiling (presumably to shut us up) and woke me up. I was considering submitting the note (“I trust this simple appeal will do the trick” – some great passive aggression going on there) but I think I’ve thrown it away now.
Dec 3, 2009 at 2:02 am rating: 1
#27
Sarah
PS I couldn’t help writing a passive-aggressive note back: “I understand what it is like to have your sleep disturbed as just last night I was woken by a loud banging noise coming from above my room”. Couldn’t help it. Haven’t heard a word from her since.
Dec 3, 2009 at 2:04 am rating: 3
#28
SkySong84
Maybe they’re playing video games. Hey, it could happen. One semester in college I asked my RA to talk to the people above me about the bed bouncing on the floor at all hours…turned out they were playing rock band and it was the pedal on the drum. That was embarrassing!
Dec 3, 2009 at 2:45 am rating: 3
#29
Grant
Gah! What do you do with a note like that? You can hardly pass it on to the correct person because they might see you and think it’s from you.
Dec 3, 2009 at 3:35 am rating: 0
#30
Chicken Underwear
I would have posted this to
http://www.engrish.com/
Dec 3, 2009 at 5:17 am rating: 1
#31
John
This isn’t passive aggressive; it’s direct, and it’s polite.
Yes, the English is bad. The writer is probably not a native English speaker. It’s so amusing to laugh at people struggling with a foreign language! Especially since we Americans are noted for our mastery of multiple languages!
Dec 3, 2009 at 5:50 am rating: 6
#32
Blarj?
Maybe it’s just me, but I got the feeling it was less direct. It makes sense to me that the person might not want to make their neighbor feel uncomfortable by discussing their loud sex, and it was supposed to be one of those subtle “Oh, there was this strange noise last night…” things.
There’s only so much subtlety you can pull off with limited English skills, though.
Dec 3, 2009 at 6:01 am rating: 2
#33
Hessia
I think this entry is particularly racist. The person writing this is clearly from a non-English speaking background. The syntactical errors are those made by non-English speaking people. I think it is pretty poor form to pick on people for being a different race, therefore having a harder time with writing in English. Appalling.
Dec 3, 2009 at 7:37 am rating: 1
#34
Hierophantria
As with others…. this isn’t passive aggressive. And to make fun of some one whose ability with English sucks (it does, so quit complaining) … well.. seems pretty damn funny when its done by people who cannot get the concept of passive aggressive.
Oh and HappyNat, your ignorance is showing. Speaking British? What? English is English, the traits of HOW is it spoken fall more into the categories of dialect and language traits. Please stop, its comments like this that make the rest of us look stupid.
Dec 3, 2009 at 9:38 am rating: 0
#35
Woman on the Verge
So far we have managed to offend non-native English speakers, children, racists, people who assume that loud noise may or may not equal randy sex and those with poor grammar… oh, and I won’t even mention the slaughter of the haiku. Have I missed anyone?
The obvious reason for the noise in a vacant apartment is that it is being made by those who no longer dwell in this world. Didn’t you see Paranormal Activity? How about The Grudge?
Let’s see how long it takes for someone to intimate that ghosts should be quieter having sex or that I have offended the undead with my suggestions…
Dec 3, 2009 at 9:42 am rating: 11
#36
Neeners
This note was written by the ghost of Latka Gravis (Andy Kaufman) from the tv show Taxi obviously.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAU6HYpvzUU
Dec 3, 2009 at 12:03 pm rating: 2
#37
TomJones
This reads like it was written by Yoda. “Please to be making not the disturb, young Jedi. Not to be used like that, is the force”.
Dec 3, 2009 at 1:39 pm rating: 9
#38
Joe 2
I’m genuinely surprised the writer didn’t include global coordinates.
“This happen 158`28.2′ 32.8″ E, 57`12′ 5.2″N
Mad it is me making!”
Dec 3, 2009 at 3:41 pm rating: 1
#39
Neeners
How do you make your kids ‘less appears’ ?
Is that a new magic trick or some sort of child abuse?
Where’s my magic wand…..here we go:
“abra cadabra sis boom bah loud noisy kids LESS APPEARS” (excessive wand waving)
OMG! IT WORKED THEY ARE REALLY GONE!!!!!
Dec 3, 2009 at 8:50 pm rating: 1
#40
YorkPeppermintPattie
What are weather kids and why are they jumping on the bed at 3:43 in the morning?
Dec 3, 2009 at 10:04 pm rating: 1
#41
Rudolf
Hey, I’m Time_Waster’s sister, and I am DEEPLY OFFENDED that I am not on the list of Asspandas >.>
Dec 4, 2009 at 4:17 pm rating: 0
#42
ashleymc53
i don’t know & I don’t really give monkeys white ass!!
Dec 11, 2009 at 8:32 pm rating: 1
#43 I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] euphemisms of disturb [...]
Mar 25, 2010 at 10:51 am rating: 0
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