Writes our anonymous submitter: “I don’t know who Bob Mess is, but I’ll be sure to summon him next time I pass by his office.” (Perhaps he was out commiserating with Anytime Stan?)
Of course, not everyone in the office has a handy summoning button like Bob Mess.
related: going up?
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117 responses so far ↓
#1
bright virago
And all this time I’d been using voodoo to try to summon Bob Mess. Wish I would’ve seen the sign before I invested in all those chickens and straight pins.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:39 pm rating: 28
#2
crumplet
If Bob is OUT it means you ain’t pressing Bob’s buttons right, stop Messing around!
Happy Invisible Wednesday!
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:40 pm rating: 15
#3
val
Haha I love the random NO! on the second sign, chastising its readers like bad dogs who peed on the rug.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:42 pm rating: 38
#4
Dara
Wow. Someone has a case of the Wednesdays.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:43 pm rating: 12
#5
Geek Goddess
Sometimes I don’t exist on Wednesdays, but it is more likely to be a Monday that I don’t exist on.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:44 pm rating: 15
#6
Canthz_B
Never, never on a Wednesday?
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:45 pm rating: 4
#7
PeaceLoveFood
I wonder if Bob leaves on an escape goat.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:46 pm rating: 31
#8
Canthz_B
That’s right boys, enter one at a time, but don’t come if it’s Wednesday…at least pull out, okay?
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:47 pm rating: 37
#9
humberthumbert
Don’t come on Wednesdays…but feel free to jizz on our door any other day of the week.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:49 pm rating: 8
#10
Olivia
Is the pink sign on a doctors surgery?
They don’t exist on Wednesday, but they do on Friday between 10am and 2pm.
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:54 pm rating: 4
#11
Tim Kolb
I’m feeling the urge to say ….
But can’t do it!
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:56 pm rating: 1
#12
crumplet
We don’t care if it takes you 30 seconds
We don’t care if you just wanted to
It’s Wednesday, it’s business time
So don’t come cos we’re not finished yet
Dec 8, 2009 at 9:57 pm rating: 1
#13
Canthz_B
I don’t care what day it is…never tell a woman “This will only take 30 seconds.”
Surprise her with that shit!!
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:10 pm rating: 29
#14
Canthz_B
I’m just a bit puzzled as to how the button on the left knows where Bob Mess is when he’s out of his office.
Is it a psychic button of some kind? Did they put a chip in Bob’s head?
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:17 pm rating: 5
#15
Canthz_B
Friday looks like a good day to come, the prices are quite reasonable for such a service!
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:19 pm rating: 3
#16
Canthz_B
I bet the cleaning crew hates Bob’s office.
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:23 pm rating: 4
#17
bokky
“We don’t exist on Wednesdays”.
“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
“If the workers can be seen and even questioned on a Wednesday by plenty of people around, do they exist?”
Oh I think they do. Nice try. Perhaps they could try the invisibility cloaks used in Harry Potter, if they want to pull that one off. One for everyone, from the departmental budget.
Also ““We don’t exist on Wednesdays! No!” sounds like a promising song lyric. Definitely to be used for the chorus. Some kind of power anthem. Maybe produced by Jim Steinman. I’m already working on a melody in my head.
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:24 pm rating: 9
#18
doug
Turn off the lights in the bathroom, face the mirror and say his name three times to summon Bob Mess.
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:33 pm rating: 29
#19
Hmmm
Anybody know what day it is?
If I don’t get a reply, I’ll just assume it’s Wednesday…
Dec 8, 2009 at 10:38 pm rating: 8
#20
Geek Goddess
Oh, you can see me on a Monday a Monday a Monday
is very very good
Or you can see me on a Tuesday a Tuesday a Tuesday
in fact I wish you would
Or you can see me on a Wednesday a Thursday a
Friday and Saturday is best
But never ever on a Sunday a Sunday a Sunday
cause that’s my day of rest
Most anyday you can be my guest
Anyday you say but my day of rest
Just name the day that you like the best
Only stay away on my day of rest
Dec 8, 2009 at 11:38 pm rating: 5
#21
Geek Goddess
Bob would never say when he came from
Wednesday don’t matter if he’s gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
The office knows
He comes and goes
Goodbye, Bob on Wednesday
Knocking on this door won’t help!
When I summon you each new day
Used the button on the left…
Dec 8, 2009 at 11:47 pm rating: 9
#22
Havingfitz
That Bob Mess was fucking delicious.
(Actually, I lied. He was bland and stringy.)
Dec 8, 2009 at 11:58 pm rating: 8
#23
AuntyBron
Sign 1 – Bob, dude, seriously? If you’re not there why should you care if the moroons (nod to Bugs Bunny) waste their time knocking on your door. Unless… you really are in when your sign says you’re out and the incessant pounding is interupting your putting game. Hmmm
Sign 2- I get where they’re coming from. It’s damned annoying for people to pop in for “quick” questions (they’re never quick) or things that will take “just a half a minute” ( try half an hour, jackass) but I think its a little harsh to deny their own existances for a day every week. Just sayin’
Dec 9, 2009 at 12:08 am rating: 6
#24
Courtneylou
But what will happen on the inevitable day when Bob forgets to take down the “BOB IS OUT” sign. I predict all hell will break loose.
Dec 9, 2009 at 12:37 am rating: 7
#25
Courtneylou
But what will happen on the inevitable day when Bob forgets to take down the “BOB IS OUT” sign? I predict all hell will break loose.
Dec 9, 2009 at 12:37 am rating: 1
#26
kureshii
I know you guys don’t exist on Wednesdays (which it happens to be), but this will only take 30 seconds, I just wanted to ask a little question:
Do you have fucking delicious escape goats? Bob Mess is out and knocking on his door didn’t help…
Dec 9, 2009 at 1:25 am rating: 13
#27
Sulking_Hyena
Isn’t Bob Mess what gets left on the sheets when a woman doesn’t swallow?
Dec 9, 2009 at 1:31 am rating: 2
#28
puzzled
Um, maybe you shouldn’t exist any day of the week. Either that or find another job where you can sit in a room, all day, all by yourself where you won’t be bothered by all those annoying people and their silly needs.
Dec 9, 2009 at 2:11 am rating: 2
#29
aaa
Bob is out? That’s what she said.
(Couldn’t help myself. Yes, I am a loser.)
Dec 9, 2009 at 2:12 am rating: 1
#30
aaa
Bob Mess is a shit-ass summon. Costs fixty hojillion MP to invoke and he’s out half the time, so I can’t even beat a fucking Cactuar with him. Fuck that.
Dec 9, 2009 at 2:38 am rating: 15
#31
JessieJane
“If button is out of order, rubbing this magic lamp three times will summon Bob. Please only use this in an emergency, as it’s a tight fit through the neck.”
And is it just me, or does Bob Mess sound like an assumed name? A less classy James Bond, perhaps.
Dec 9, 2009 at 4:52 am rating: 3
#32
park rose
Woden delivered runes to the Northern people. Google told me so. With a track record like that I’d be pretending not to exist on Wednesday too, and sacrificing a few escape goats to keep my business solvent.
Dec 9, 2009 at 5:18 am rating: 3
#33
park rose
Nessie, Messie, whether either exists is debatable – especially on a Wednesday.
Dec 9, 2009 at 5:32 am rating: 4
#34
Escape Goat
DON’T MESS WITH BOB MESS. (USE BUTTON ON LEFT TO SUMMON BOB MESS)
Lovin’ the final line … it’s as if the tough-guy caps lock was all just a GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ act.
No, Bob! No! NO! I can’t handle you right now … it’s Wednesday!
Dec 9, 2009 at 5:57 am rating: 2
#35
Escape Goat
((Cleanup aisle 3.Cleanup aisle 3. Somebody please summon Bob Mess. Cleanup aisle 3.)))
Dec 9, 2009 at 6:01 am rating: 1
#36
April
I’m probably the only one, but Bob Mess’s note reminds me of the SNL spoof of Bob Dole on MTVs The Real World. I don’t know why, but I can see Bob Mess speaking in third person consantly, saying “Bob Mess is out of the office. Bob Mess can be summoned by using the button. Bob Mess. Bob Mess. BOB MESS!
Dec 9, 2009 at 6:24 am rating: 4
#37
Mark
How does Bob know anyone has been knocking if he’s not there? Maybe he is there and is just looking at porn or something and doesn’t want to be disturbed during his “special time”
Dec 9, 2009 at 7:15 am rating: 2
#38
unholyghost2003
Ok, so people keep asking “How does Bob know they are knocking if he isn’t there?” Let me tell you
after spending 20 min knocking on Bob Mess’ door they inevitably run into Bob on their way back from the breakroom where they were getting ice for their swollen knuckles. Then the following happens:
Idiot: “Hey! Bob! I knocked on your door FOREVER this morning.”
Bob: “Was the ‘Bob is Out’ sign on the door?”
Idiot: “Yeah. So what? I dont know why you are avoiding me, but I need your help with this project!”
Bob: “I am not avoiding you. I wasnt in my office.”
Idiot: “How the fuck was I supposed to know that?!”
Bob: “the sign… nevermind. I will have to be clearer. What is it you needed?”
Idiot: “you ever see that video of the cat playing the piano?”
Dec 9, 2009 at 7:38 am rating: 15
#39
Renagade676
I bet the people behind these notes failed at playing hide-and-seek and marco-polo when they were kids.
Dec 9, 2009 at 8:16 am rating: 2
#40
laurie
The Bob Mess button…available for purchase at your local Staples.
Dec 9, 2009 at 8:21 am rating: 3
#41
Act
I summoned a level 46 Bob Mess, but it still wasn’t good enough to compete with Casey’s level 63 THX SANDRA.
Dec 9, 2009 at 8:37 am rating: 9
#42
Kimberly
I assure you we’re open.
Dec 9, 2009 at 8:43 am rating: 1
#43
jinx
I guess all my life I’ve been fooling myself when I thought I was better than three letters.
I wonder if Bob Mess is related to Bob Dole. Maybe Bob Mess is Bob Dole. O O
Dec 9, 2009 at 9:44 am rating: 1
#44
Zoe
CHECK OUT FE-NIX’S NEW VIDEO ‘SWAGGA’ IT TRULY ESTABLISHES THEM AS ONE OF THE BEST GROUPS AROUND
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYtBAr1SfyY
Dec 9, 2009 at 10:30 am rating: 0
#45
RoxyBlue
omg, I so wish I could post the “We don’t exist on Wednesdays” sign on our office door.
“Just one quick question.” I hear that so many times a day.
Dec 9, 2009 at 11:07 am rating: 0
#46
fan
Here’s the lowdown on Bob Mess, his wife Charlotte Anne, ‘Lotta for short. Daughter Meagan Anne, goes by Mega, son *named after ‘Lotta’s Grandfather* Seaman.
Bob has so many things to regret, forever they will always be known for their cards and letters, always signed
Love, Bob, ‘Lotta, Mega, Seaman Mess.
Bob is in hiding.
Dec 9, 2009 at 12:44 pm rating: 0
#47
Carlo
Having a weekly existential crisis has to be exhausting.
Dec 9, 2009 at 1:00 pm rating: 8
#48
Julia
Congrats!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/dec/09/best-websites-internet
Dec 9, 2009 at 1:27 pm rating: 1
#49
Mo®
Bob Mess ? Oh, oh yeah, that guy he’s Schrödinger’s friend.
Dec 9, 2009 at 1:45 pm rating: 2
#50
Catherine
I wish I could make my existence optional on certain days. that would be handy.
Dec 9, 2009 at 5:48 pm rating: 1
#51
mands
To the tune of ‘Friday on my mind’ by the Easybeats:
Tuesday morning feels so bad,
Ev’rybody seems to nag me
Coming Wednesday I feel better,
Existential crisis looking good,
Don’t come in and say,
Just one short query,
I’ve got Wednesday on my mind
Chorus
We don’t exist on a freakin’ Wednesday!
No! Don’t consider coming in to say:
“I just wanted to…”,
“Can I please bother you…”,
Tonight….I cease to exist,
Tonight…so you must desist,
Tonight…I got to get tonight
Tuesday I got Wednesday on my mind.
Do the five day drag once more,
There’s not much more that bugs me
You’re no better than other ppl,
We don’t exist on a Wednesday,
Today I might be mad,
Tomorrow I’ll be glad,
I’ve got Wednesday on my mind
Dec 10, 2009 at 6:47 am rating: 2
#52
Bcteagirl
I don’t care if Monday’s black
Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack
Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
(By attempting to summon me)
Might explain the lack of existence on Wednesdays.
Better to contact them on Fridays when they are in love!
Dec 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm rating: 1
#53
existential_crisis
The pink one is from our university!! Ha ha.
Dec 13, 2009 at 12:02 pm rating: 0
#54
mtc
What happens on Wednesdays? Do they revert, Cinderella-style, back to their original ugly forms at midnight?
Dec 22, 2009 at 9:05 pm rating: 0
#55
Serena
Oh my god, the second one looks like it could be from the computer helpdesk at my school (it’s not though). They are also closed on Wednesdays, and got sick of people coming in so put a sign up. People kept showing up so they took the sign down and caved in to student pressure =P
Jan 14, 2010 at 7:07 am rating: 0
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