You don’t mess with Bob Mess.

December 8th, 2009 · 117 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I don’t know who Bob Mess is, but I’ll be sure to summon him next time I pass by his office.” (Perhaps he was out commiserating with Anytime Stan?)

If you are looking for BOB MESS and see the "BOB IS OUT" sign on his door it means that Bob Mess is OUT of HIS OFFICE KNOCKING ON HIS DOOR WILL NOT HELP. Use button on left to summon Bob Mess.

Of course, not everyone in the office has a handy summoning button like Bob Mess.

We don't exist on Wednesdays! No!

related: going up?

FILED UNDER: CAPS LOCK · go away · knocking


117 responses so far ↓

  • #1   bright virago bang

    And all this time I’d been using voodoo to try to summon Bob Mess. Wish I would’ve seen the sign before I invested in all those chickens and straight pins.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:39 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Mo® bang

      You should have got the Bob Mess Spotlight Signal® I sure am happy with mine!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Err

      I suppose only Bob Mess will do. You don’t want any Tom Mess, Dick Mess or Harry Mess for the job. Nope this is a job for Bob Mess.

      I tried summoning Bob Mess but was told that I would have to clean it up myself if I did.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   crumplet bang

    If Bob is OUT it means you ain’t pressing Bob’s buttons right, stop Messing around!

    Happy Invisible Wednesday!

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:40 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   kdaniel

      Push three times on the button to summon Bob Mess
      Knock on the door, and the answer is “no”
      ::beep beep beep:: means he’ll appear out of nowhere
      Bob’s a hot mess, and he may never shooooow

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mo® bang

      Ah the dulcet tones of Tony Orlando and pwned!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 10:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   val

    Haha I love the random NO! on the second sign, chastising its readers like bad dogs who peed on the rug.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:42 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   crumplet bang

      NO! BAD PPL, BAD!

      Dec 8, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   AuntyBron

      Bad PPL – no treats for you!!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Dara

    Wow. Someone has a case of the Wednesdays.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Car RamRod

      I believe you’d get your ass kicked for saying something like that…

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Geek Goddess

    Sometimes I don’t exist on Wednesdays, but it is more likely to be a Monday that I don’t exist on.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:44 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mo® bang

      There are days when I exist and don’t exist all at the same time.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:27 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose bang

      Form is emptiness,
      Emptiness is form.

      I think the doctor’s surgery is trying to tell us something about heart sutures.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Critical Grass bang

      Funny, I don’t exist on Thrusdays. Maybe we should open a business together and cover for each other ‘s Invisible Day.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   infant tyrone bang

      Schroedinger’s Deli-Cat-essen
      Are we closed?
      Are we open?
      Who’s asking?

      You want WHAT on A Kaiser roll?
      Not until you finish your sandwich…

      Multiculturalism (or Everett-Wheeler MWI)…Nature’s way of telling us there really ARE way more (ways) than one way to skin a cat.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Critical Grass bang

      Is the cat dead? Is the cat alive? Who knows…
      Can I have an escape cat, please?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 1:28 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   infant tyrone bang

      Yes, here’s your escape cat !
      It doesn’t work all of the time.
      Depends on how much strontium it’s had recently.
      Warranty is like the one on the Acme Discount Parachute.
      If it doesn’t work, when you get to the bottom, there’s an 800 number…

      Dec 9, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Critical Grass bang

      What?! Are you saying this cat won’t survive if I feed it strontium three times a day?! What kind of cat is this?! I wanna talk to your manager…
      Are you saying no strontium at all? But lithium is okay, right?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   infant tyrone bang

      He’s only supposed to be fed strontium by Grandma, who’s 90.
      But, yeah, if he starts getting hyper, give him a bowl of Lithium Krispies.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Never, never on a Wednesday?

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   pony girl

      No!
      Only on a Thursday.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Critical Grass bang

      But forget about Fridays.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Mo® bang

      They call it stormy Monday, but Tuesday’s just as bad
      Wednesday’s I don’t exist, and Thursday’s oh so sad

      Dec 9, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   PeaceLoveFood

    I wonder if Bob leaves on an escape goat.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:46 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Critical Grass bang

      Don’t fool yourself, everyone looooves a good escape goat.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    That’s right boys, enter one at a time, but don’t come if it’s Wednesday…at least pull out, okay?

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:47 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Stuffin'

      Obviously there are no hours of disturb on Wednesdays. Not even 30 seconds of disturb.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 2:40 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   humberthumbert

    Don’t come on Wednesdays…but feel free to jizz on our door any other day of the week.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Olivia

    Is the pink sign on a doctors surgery?
    They don’t exist on Wednesday, but they do on Friday between 10am and 2pm.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Tim Kolb

    I’m feeling the urge to say ….

    But can’t do it!

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   crumplet bang

    We don’t care if it takes you 30 seconds
    We don’t care if you just wanted to
    It’s Wednesday, it’s business time
    So don’t come cos we’re not finished yet

    Dec 8, 2009 at 9:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   PeaceLoveFood

      (Channeling Flight of the Conchords)

      Girl, tonight we’re gonna make love. You know how I know, baby? `Cause it’s Wednesday and Wednesday night is the night that we make love. Tuesday night’s the night that we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love. `Cause everything is just right. Conditions are perfect. There`s nothing good on TV. Conditions are perfect. You lean in close and say something sexy like, “I might go to bed, I’ve got work in the morning.” I know what you’re trying to say baby. You’re trying to say, “Oh, yeah. It’s business time. It’s business time.”

      Dec 8, 2009 at 11:54 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   *DZ*

      Oh freakin’ win…

      I have a couple of friends who say I’ve gotta check out FOTC but….naaaaaaah, I ain’ts got time for dat! *lol*

      Dec 9, 2009 at 12:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Mo® bang

      You’re not going to get lewd with the food are you?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   laurie

      Let me know when you’re down to your socks.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   PeaceLoveFood

      You know when I’m down to just my socks it’s time for business. That’s why they call it business socks.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    I don’t care what day it is…never tell a woman “This will only take 30 seconds.”
    Surprise her with that shit!!

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:10 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   PeaceLoveFood

      You say something like, “Is that it?” I know what you’re trying to say. You’re trying to say, “Aww yeah, that’s it.” Then you tell me you want some more. Well I’m not surprised. But I’m quite sleepy.

      It’s business.
      It’s business time.
      Business hours are over. Right, right.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    I’m just a bit puzzled as to how the button on the left knows where Bob Mess is when he’s out of his office.
    Is it a psychic button of some kind? Did they put a chip in Bob’s head?

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I want to know how Bob know that people are knocking on his door when he is not in the office…Is he physically out or only mentally.?

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      I’m betting that someone in a neighboring office is just tired of folks coming along and pounding on Bob’s door (even when Bob has left a note saying he’s out).

      Dec 9, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   park rose bang

      The summoning button channels Carole King.
      It just calls out Bob’s name,
      and you know, wherever he am,
      He’ll come running,
      to see you again…

      The – Tell me why? We Don’t Like Wednesdays crew need a similar button – because
      Winter, Spring, Summer of Fall,
      all you need to do is call,
      and they’ll be there…
      That sure is a lot of Wednesdays. Revenue will go up. Guaranteed.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Commentator

      @14.1

      I, also, was wondering how Bob knows someone is knocking on his door when he’s out.

      If I’m truely out of my office, I don’t know or care if someone is knocking at the door. Knock yourself out (see what I did there?). Knock until your knuckles are bloody, just please wipe up after yourself.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Friday looks like a good day to come, the prices are quite reasonable for such a service!

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    I bet the cleaning crew hates Bob’s office.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   bokky bang

    “We don’t exist on Wednesdays”.
    “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?”
    “If the workers can be seen and even questioned on a Wednesday by plenty of people around, do they exist?”
    Oh I think they do. Nice try. Perhaps they could try the invisibility cloaks used in Harry Potter, if they want to pull that one off. One for everyone, from the departmental budget.

    Also ““We don’t exist on Wednesdays! No!” sounds like a promising song lyric. Definitely to be used for the chorus. Some kind of power anthem. Maybe produced by Jim Steinman. I’m already working on a melody in my head.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Shance-a-lot

      bokky – what I love is that the sudden “NO!” in the “We don’t exist on Wednesdays” makes me think of a person who is about to argue with them and then are cut off shortly after even opening his or her mouth. (which it’s safer to do on a Wednesday than any other day, or you might get an unwelcome surprise in it)

      But yeah you should get right on that song.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Canthz_B bang

      I think it makes you think that because that’s how the sign is designed to read.

      Rocket surgery.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   ashmeadow

      We don’t exist on Wednesdays
      NO! Not on Wednesdays
      We don’t exist on Wednesdays
      Anymore

      *drum solo*

      Dec 9, 2009 at 1:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   park rose bang

      Not quite Jim Steinman. Working on the idea running through the thread that it might be a doctor’s surgery, or something similar.

      Never can stay, goodbye,

      Never can stay, goodbye, no no no no You
      Never can drop on by
      Even though the pain and heart ache seem to follow you wherever you go
      Though you cry and cried and sighed your feelings, We’re still a no-show
      Then you try to say you’re querying and I always have to say no
      Tell me why, is it so?

      That you never can walk on by, no no no no I
      Never can stop your lies
      Every time I think to each my lunch, you’re standing at the door
      There’s a very strange vibration-a piercing me right through my core
      I say, “Turn around you tool, you know love-love’s the score”
      Tell me why, is it so?
      Don’t want to let you know

      You never can walk on by, boy, ooh ooh baby
      You never can stay, goodbye, no no no, no no no, ooh, oh
      You never can drop on by, boy, Woh Woh, Who-de-n
      ever day, goodbye, no no no, no no no, ooh

      Never can stay, goodbye, no no no no no no no You
      Never can stay goodbye
      You keep thinkin’ that your problems soon are all gonna work out
      But there’s that same unhappy feelin’, a-there’s that anguish, there’s that doubt
      Ppl’ve the same ol’ crazy hang ups, I can do without you and without
      Tell me why, is it so?
      Don’t want to let you know

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   park rose bang

      Note-writer: Hey, could you check this for me?
      Dyslexic coworker: You misspelt ‘on’.
      Note-writer: On?
      Dyslexic coworker: Yup. Here, gimme that marker …

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   April

      To the toon of “We’re Not Going To Take It”

      We don’t exist on Wednesdays. NO! We don’t exist on Wednesdays. So don’t come a knockin… on the DOOOOOOOR!

      ow I need sleep!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   April

      I’m sorry Ashmeadow, I didn’t see your comment before I posted (pass the leotard). At least great minds think alike!!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   April

      UNITARD!! Dag-nab it all to hades! I’ve messed this up completely. Maybe my MIND doesn’t exist on Wednesdays!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:12 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   park rose bang

      April, the Pixies have just the song for you. Maybe it’s lost in a Simon and Garfunkel tune…

      Too obscure, I know, I know…but everyone keeps invoking, evoking, summoning forth messes of song lyrics!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 9:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   Shance-a-lot

      Canthz – why you gotta hate? So, I’m sharing why I think it’s funny. So maybe it was already obvious. So….?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 2:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   doug

    Turn off the lights in the bathroom, face the mirror and say his name three times to summon Bob Mess.

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:33 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   park rose bang

      Gee, all I have to do is put a bowl on my head and cut my hair with a pair of pinking shears.

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Shance-a-lot

      WIN

      Dec 8, 2009 at 10:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   Mo® bang

      Seriously a WIN.
      Bob Mess Bob Mess Bo……….

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Hmmm

    Anybody know what day it is?

    If I don’t get a reply, I’ll just assume it’s Wednesday…

    Dec 8, 2009 at 10:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Geek Goddess

    Oh, you can see me on a Monday a Monday a Monday
    is very very good
    Or you can see me on a Tuesday a Tuesday a Tuesday
    in fact I wish you would
    Or you can see me on a Wednesday a Thursday a
    Friday and Saturday is best
    But never ever on a Sunday a Sunday a Sunday
    cause that’s my day of rest

    Most anyday you can be my guest
    Anyday you say but my day of rest
    Just name the day that you like the best
    Only stay away on my day of rest

    Dec 8, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Geek Goddess

    Bob would never say when he came from
    Wednesday don’t matter if he’s gone
    While the sun is bright
    Or in the darkest night
    The office knows
    He comes and goes

    Goodbye, Bob on Wednesday
    Knocking on this door won’t help!
    When I summon you each new day
    Used the button on the left…

    Dec 8, 2009 at 11:47 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Havingfitz

    That Bob Mess was fucking delicious.

    (Actually, I lied. He was bland and stringy.)

    Dec 8, 2009 at 11:58 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   AuntyBron

    Sign 1 – Bob, dude, seriously? If you’re not there why should you care if the moroons (nod to Bugs Bunny) waste their time knocking on your door. Unless… you really are in when your sign says you’re out and the incessant pounding is interupting your putting game. Hmmm

    Sign 2- I get where they’re coming from. It’s damned annoying for people to pop in for “quick” questions (they’re never quick) or things that will take “just a half a minute” ( try half an hour, jackass) but I think its a little harsh to deny their own existances for a day every week. Just sayin’

    Dec 9, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Courtneylou

    But what will happen on the inevitable day when Bob forgets to take down the “BOB IS OUT” sign. I predict all hell will break loose.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Courtneylou

    But what will happen on the inevitable day when Bob forgets to take down the “BOB IS OUT” sign? I predict all hell will break loose.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   ashmeadow

      Now where have I seen this post before?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 1:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Mo® bang

      deja vu!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   kureshii bang

    I know you guys don’t exist on Wednesdays (which it happens to be), but this will only take 30 seconds, I just wanted to ask a little question:

    Do you have fucking delicious escape goats? Bob Mess is out and knocking on his door didn’t help…

    Dec 9, 2009 at 1:25 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Sulking_Hyena

    Isn’t Bob Mess what gets left on the sheets when a woman doesn’t swallow?

    Dec 9, 2009 at 1:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   aaa bang

      I thought it was what happened when multiple men didn’t swallow.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 2:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   park rose bang

      It’s what is left on the sheets when your wife’s name is Lorena and your first name is John, and two minutes before you had demanded that she swallow.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   infant tyrone bang

      Bob Mess is what the film crew had
      when DeNiro’s money-shot double
      (for the European release of Last Tango II)
      refused to felch and said he couldn’t eat mudpie
      because he was on a low-protein diet.

      Moral of the Story
      Lesson: Gentlemen, resorb thy emission or the secretions will snowball.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   puzzled

    Um, maybe you shouldn’t exist any day of the week. Either that or find another job where you can sit in a room, all day, all by yourself where you won’t be bothered by all those annoying people and their silly needs.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   aaa bang

    Bob is out? That’s what she said.

    (Couldn’t help myself. Yes, I am a loser.)

    Dec 9, 2009 at 2:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   aaa bang

    Bob Mess is a shit-ass summon. Costs fixty hojillion MP to invoke and he’s out half the time, so I can’t even beat a fucking Cactuar with him. Fuck that.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 2:38 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   April

      OK, so I’m not the only one that had a RPG thought running through her head when she saw press the button to summon Bob. I imagine Bob as one helluva Voidwalker!

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   JessieJane

    “If button is out of order, rubbing this magic lamp three times will summon Bob. Please only use this in an emergency, as it’s a tight fit through the neck.”

    And is it just me, or does Bob Mess sound like an assumed name? A less classy James Bond, perhaps.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 4:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   park rose bang

    Woden delivered runes to the Northern people. Google told me so. With a track record like that I’d be pretending not to exist on Wednesday too, and sacrificing a few escape goats to keep my business solvent.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 5:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   park rose bang

    Nessie, Messie, whether either exists is debatable – especially on a Wednesday.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 5:32 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Escape Goat

    DON’T MESS WITH BOB MESS. (USE BUTTON ON LEFT TO SUMMON BOB MESS)

    Lovin’ the final line … it’s as if the tough-guy caps lock was all just a GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ act.

    No, Bob! No! NO! I can’t handle you right now … it’s Wednesday!

    Dec 9, 2009 at 5:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Escape Goat

    ((Cleanup aisle 3.Cleanup aisle 3. Somebody please summon Bob Mess. Cleanup aisle 3.)))

    Dec 9, 2009 at 6:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   April

    I’m probably the only one, but Bob Mess’s note reminds me of the SNL spoof of Bob Dole on MTVs The Real World. I don’t know why, but I can see Bob Mess speaking in third person consantly, saying “Bob Mess is out of the office. Bob Mess can be summoned by using the button. Bob Mess. Bob Mess. BOB MESS!

    Dec 9, 2009 at 6:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Mark

    How does Bob know anyone has been knocking if he’s not there? Maybe he is there and is just looking at porn or something and doesn’t want to be disturbed during his “special time”

    Dec 9, 2009 at 7:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   park rose bang

      It had to be posted, right? Right?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #37.2   infant tyrone bang

      Bob, take this badge off of me
      I can’t use it anymore.
      It’s gettin’ dark, too dark to see
      It happens on Wednesdays round about four
      KKKOHD,
      KKKOHD,
      KKKOHD,
      Now ev’r'body….

      KK
      WT?
      B
      BW?
      BB

      KK
      WT?
      B
      BW?
      BB

      KK
      WT?
      O
      OW?
      Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   unholyghost2003 bang

    Ok, so people keep asking “How does Bob know they are knocking if he isn’t there?” Let me tell you
    after spending 20 min knocking on Bob Mess’ door they inevitably run into Bob on their way back from the breakroom where they were getting ice for their swollen knuckles. Then the following happens:

    Idiot: “Hey! Bob! I knocked on your door FOREVER this morning.”
    Bob: “Was the ‘Bob is Out’ sign on the door?”
    Idiot: “Yeah. So what? I dont know why you are avoiding me, but I need your help with this project!”
    Bob: “I am not avoiding you. I wasnt in my office.”
    Idiot: “How the fuck was I supposed to know that?!”
    Bob: “the sign… nevermind. I will have to be clearer. What is it you needed?”
    Idiot: “you ever see that video of the cat playing the piano?”

    Dec 9, 2009 at 7:38 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   infant tyrone bang

      Alas, it is always a cat in Herr Professor Schroedinger’s examples.
      A cat in a box with a radioactive element and some poison…

      WHY NOT AN IDIOT ?? (Just once, for a change of scenery…)

      Hell, let him rock, put him in a room with a damned piano, or a goat !

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   Geek Goddess

      For those who need to know more about the cat. Or not. (Apparently it was Bob’s cat)

      http://www.messybeast.com/moggycat/schrodinger.htm

      Dec 9, 2009 at 7:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Renagade676

    I bet the people behind these notes failed at playing hide-and-seek and marco-polo when they were kids.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 8:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   park rose bang

      :) Renegade!
      I’m just gonna hide in the wardrobe, right? But just pretend you don’t know. But you know, like say if you can’t find me say after you count to ten and say after you looked everywhere except the WARDR… under the bed… and you can’t think where I am because I’m good at hiding and stuff and you’re not, then, say if you can’t find me, just knock on something wooden that you keep your clothes in. Knock on wood three times and and I’ll be all like jumping out and scaring you … and you act like you’re all frightened, right? cos., I’m not superstitious about ya, but I can’t take no chance..and you are a scaredy cat anyways…so, let’s just pretend that …I’m invisible, and it’s Wensday…and you can’t find me and all, even though you know about the WAR…wooden thing…cos’ I don’t exist, right? And it’s Wensday, and everyone knows nobody exists on Wensday…except maybe dinosaurs…let’s just say that.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.2   Geek Goddess

      Hide here!
      http://xkcd.com/665/

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.3   Car RamRod

      That reminds me of my niece. I was at my sister’s house watching her kids for her, and my 6 year old niece suggested we play hide and go seek. Then she told me to go hide in a specific closet and she’d come look for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her how absolutely stupid she must be, but I fear for her academic future…

      Dec 9, 2009 at 6:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.4   park rose bang

      She’s only six. She’s just learning and working out the rules. That kind of reasoning is pretty common among kids. I wouldn’t fear for her, nor would I think her stupid on the basis of just that.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 9:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #39.5   wright bang

      I have a 6 year-old nephew who is just starting to realize that rules can actually add to the fun. Because after all, when you get bored you can just break or change them!

      Seriously, it’s hilarious and touching to see his train of thought running around and around behind his little eyeballs…

      Dec 10, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #40   laurie

    The Bob Mess button…available for purchase at your local Staples.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Act

    I summoned a level 46 Bob Mess, but it still wasn’t good enough to compete with Casey’s level 63 THX SANDRA.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 8:37 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   wright bang

      Man, when are they going to nerf Sandra already??

      Dec 10, 2009 at 12:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Kimberly

    I assure you we’re open.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 8:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   LordOfThePants

      …bunch of savages in this town.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 10:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   jinx

    I guess all my life I’ve been fooling myself when I thought I was better than three letters.

    I wonder if Bob Mess is related to Bob Dole. Maybe Bob Mess is Bob Dole. O O

    Dec 9, 2009 at 9:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   Zoe

    CHECK OUT FE-NIX’S NEW VIDEO ‘SWAGGA’ IT TRULY ESTABLISHES THEM AS ONE OF THE BEST GROUPS AROUND
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYtBAr1SfyY

    Dec 9, 2009 at 10:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   RoxyBlue

    omg, I so wish I could post the “We don’t exist on Wednesdays” sign on our office door.

    “Just one quick question.” I hear that so many times a day.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 11:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   fan bang

    Here’s the lowdown on Bob Mess, his wife Charlotte Anne, ‘Lotta for short. Daughter Meagan Anne, goes by Mega, son *named after ‘Lotta’s Grandfather* Seaman.

    Bob has so many things to regret, forever they will always be known for their cards and letters, always signed

    Love, Bob, ‘Lotta, Mega, Seaman Mess.

    Bob is in hiding.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Carlo

    Having a weekly existential crisis has to be exhausting.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Julia

    Congrats!
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2009/dec/09/best-websites-internet

    Dec 9, 2009 at 1:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   park rose

      Definitely, kerry! You’ve grown into your capital letters! Congratulations and thank you.

      Dec 9, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #49   Mo® bang

    Bob Mess ? Oh, oh yeah, that guy he’s Schrödinger’s friend.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   infant tyrone bang

      Old news…

      Herr Professor promised Bob everything,
      He promised him thick and thin, yeah,
      Now he just says, “Oh Bob Mess, yeah,
      You know, I used to have a scene with him”.

      Bob’s in Dire Straits Bad Company line down at the Tallahatchie Bridge…

      Dec 9, 2009 at 5:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   Catherine

    I wish I could make my existence optional on certain days. that would be handy.

    Dec 9, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   mands bang

    To the tune of ‘Friday on my mind’ by the Easybeats:

    Tuesday morning feels so bad,
    Ev’rybody seems to nag me
    Coming Wednesday I feel better,
    Existential crisis looking good,
    Don’t come in and say,
    Just one short query,
    I’ve got Wednesday on my mind

    Chorus

    We don’t exist on a freakin’ Wednesday!
    No! Don’t consider coming in to say:
    “I just wanted to…”,
    “Can I please bother you…”,
    Tonight….I cease to exist,
    Tonight…so you must desist,
    Tonight…I got to get tonight
    Tuesday I got Wednesday on my mind.

    Do the five day drag once more,
    There’s not much more that bugs me
    You’re no better than other ppl,
    We don’t exist on a Wednesday,
    Today I might be mad,
    Tomorrow I’ll be glad,
    I’ve got Wednesday on my mind

    Dec 10, 2009 at 6:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Bcteagirl

    I don’t care if Monday’s black
    Tuesday, Wednesday heart attack

    Monday you can hold your head
    Tuesday, Wednesday stay in bed

    Monday you can fall apart
    Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
    (By attempting to summon me)

    Might explain the lack of existence on Wednesdays.

    Better to contact them on Fridays when they are in love!

    Dec 10, 2009 at 6:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   existential_crisis

    The pink one is from our university!! Ha ha.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   mtc

    What happens on Wednesdays? Do they revert, Cinderella-style, back to their original ugly forms at midnight?

    Dec 22, 2009 at 9:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Serena

    Oh my god, the second one looks like it could be from the computer helpdesk at my school (it’s not though). They are also closed on Wednesdays, and got sick of people coming in so put a sign up. People kept showing up so they took the sign down and caved in to student pressure =P

    Jan 14, 2010 at 7:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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