Sure, we’ve seen notices like this one before…although they’re usually from parts of the world with much more questionable plumbing than you’d find (as Jason did) in Northern Virginia.
But this doozy, spotted by Dana at a local coffee shop in Canada, is a first.
related: Comrades, take notice!
192 responses so far ↓
#1
Biggie_Robs
I guess they’re tired of cleaning up the sprinkle that naturally occurs when males tinkle.
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:31 pm rating: 14
#2
Phoenixx
If I were a dude. . . . .I’d pee on the damn sign!
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:32 pm rating: 18
#3
crumplet
Paint the bowl brown with a red dot at the bottom of the bowl. Problem solved.
I’d be hunting down those Management’s Toilets in Northern Virginia
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:34 pm rating: 4
#4
jetjackson
The first note would be entirely reasonable if it were above the urinals in the male toilet.
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:35 pm rating: 21
#5
Wade
“No number 2 only number 1″
This is what happens when you put the sales department in charge of toilet signage.
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:37 pm rating: 22
#6
Canthz_B
They can just consider mine a number three ’cause I pee when I make a boomer!!
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:39 pm rating: 9
#7
Wade
“All MALES using this toilet must sit.”
I didn’t realize BDSM coffee emporiums were popular in Canada. Who knew?
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:41 pm rating: 4
#8
Canthz_B
Female squatters seem to have a very powerful lobby.
They’ve been exempted from sign “number two”.
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:43 pm rating: 6
#9
UnclGhost
Did they forget an H in the second sign?
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 9
#10
alison
i wonder what happens if you uhh can’t help doing a number 2 … does the toilet have an alarm or something that warns you? or tells management??
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:48 pm rating: 1
#11
Fridge Pirate
mmm… Anybody notice that the first two bites of a doughnut are the best.
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:50 pm rating: 3
#12
crumplet
I hope the first sign isn’t found in a toilet at an Indian or Mexican restaurant. Extra hard when it’s a firebomb brewing inside, y’know
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:57 pm rating: 1
#13
Catburglar
Isn’t note number one illegal? I mean, really, can you forbid your employees from shitting at work? Hmmm, maybe, I guess, if you provide each one with a “waste can”.
Dec 10, 2009 at 10:58 pm rating: 4
#14
aaa
Control your colon
We’re too cheap for good plumbing
Shit in the trash can
Dec 10, 2009 at 11:52 pm rating: 12
#15
jason
On the second one, the answer is no.
Dec 11, 2009 at 12:16 am rating: 0
#16
Mel K
I thumb my nose at these signs.
I only use public toilets for my personal moments of disturb.
Dec 11, 2009 at 1:11 am rating: 7
#17
President Benson
ALL MALES using this toilet must sit.
Standing is not an option.
Equal opportunity for everybody to get crabs!
Dec 11, 2009 at 1:40 am rating: 2
#18
park rose
That’s management for you. Always looking out for number one.
Dec 11, 2009 at 3:04 am rating: 20
#19
park rose
I guess the shit-stirrers got trumped by the piss- takers.
One piss-taker per management, no shit-stirrers, no exceptions.
Dec 11, 2009 at 3:06 am rating: 5
#20
park rose
I know someone’s going to post inbetween me and me eventually, so,
twoone more.I bet that first sign wiped the shit-eating grins right off management’s face(s).
Dec 11, 2009 at 3:10 am rating: 3
#21
aaa
Soooo… With the second note, where does that leave me? I’m only partly male. Does that mean I’m allowed to hover over the toilet so I can piss all over the seat?
Dec 11, 2009 at 3:17 am rating: 2
#22
Gavin
Until I saw the second note I thought this was a note from the boss of the company annoyed at those brown-nosing want to be management types that try to be the boss’ assistant and take it upon themselves to assert authority on the younger people in the org. God I hate those types.
Dec 11, 2009 at 5:03 am rating: 1
#23
a*p
Obviously the first note writer is a ST:TNG fan. Poor Riker never gets any respect.
Dec 11, 2009 at 6:41 am rating: 6
#24
Esacepe Goat
Should we infer that ALL FEMALES must stand? What’s the name of the place? “Whacky Wednesday”?
Dec 11, 2009 at 6:50 am rating: 1
#25
Bryan
IF YOU MUST “STAND” PLEASE USE THE LOCKED MENS ROOM ON FLOOR 1. SEE CASEY IN HUMAN RESOURCES FOR A KEY.
THX,
SANDRA
Dec 11, 2009 at 6:58 am rating: 3
#26
Andy Turner
At my friends house when I was young there was this great poster above the toilet which had a picture of a wee lad near the loo with text above ” If you sprinkle when you tinkle” and text below “be sweet and wipe the seat”.
Dec 11, 2009 at 7:08 am rating: 0
#27
leslie
if you’re missing when you’re pissing, you must really be bollocks in the sack
Dec 11, 2009 at 7:34 am rating: 8
#28
Joe 2
Hit ‘em with a stick
Hit ‘em with a broom
Stand up
Sit down
Boom, Boom, Boom!
Dec 11, 2009 at 7:59 am rating: 2
#29
Abounding Air
After recovering from my reverse Dr. Pepper nasal douche brought on quite unexpectedly, I have to wonder what is the process for making sure the guidlines are followed? What is the punishment for ingoring them? How do I remove Dr. Pepper from my keyboard? Would PG be interested in doing a reality show…”Bites I Have Suffered” ?
Dec 11, 2009 at 10:11 am rating: 3
#30
Xiola
This is an increasingly common phenomenon in Germany. Men are asked to “sitzpinkel.”
http://www.amazon.de/Sitzpinkel-Manifest-Hier-sitzt-MANN/dp/3821830506
Dec 11, 2009 at 12:30 pm rating: 1
#31
jinx
For the second note, I jope they’re not checking to see if the men are complying. O O
For the first, why do companies even bother to make pencils that aren’t number 2? They’re almost as useless as CB.
Dec 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm rating: 1
#32
jinx
Anglo, your satire makes me laugh. How you pretend you think humans only spend their time on computers or stalking others… Wait, you’re serious.
I’m tempted to wish death on your buddies and make you cry worse than Aaron Carter did on DWTS, but it seems you have way bigger problems…
Dec 11, 2009 at 4:06 pm rating: 1
#33
jinx
I feel sorry for you. I’m sure one of the symptoms is replying endlessly to posts that are not addressed to you, and have NOTHING to do with you. So, I won’t reply to your comments anymore. Maybe this will encourage to you interact with my species, humans. Most of which are nice than me and don’t mind dealing with subhumans. Have fun.
Dec 11, 2009 at 4:16 pm rating: 0
#34
Geek Goddess
I am waiting for a note that reminds people to use both sides of the toilet paper, in the interests of saving trees.
Dec 11, 2009 at 11:40 pm rating: 5
#35
watchtower
The first note was written by a robot with a fetish for binary.
Dec 11, 2009 at 11:57 pm rating: 3
#36
Palomon
Winston Churchill pissed standing up and so will I.
The Lone Ranger pissed standing up and so will I.
Men piss standing up.
Males can sit all they want.
I will put my streaky brown signature on your damned sign.
Dec 12, 2009 at 1:34 am rating: 0
#37
Escape Goat
Per management:
When you rub one out, please don’t shout.
Don’t be jerkin’ when you should be workin’.
Dec 12, 2009 at 4:08 am rating: 3
#38
Havingfitz
I was NOT doing #2. I just have a wide stance, damn it!
Dec 12, 2009 at 7:06 am rating: 2
#39
Tasha
I poop where I want! In fact, maybe I’ll come to this bathroom just to poop.
Dec 12, 2009 at 9:07 am rating: 1
#40
orinoco womble
I’m with you, Tara. This sign makes me want to go in there just to take an uberdump followed up by about a pound of the most absorbent TP I can lay my hands on.
Dec 21, 2009 at 7:01 am rating: 0
#41
Tim
I wish I had taken a picture of it, but the motel in Sneedville TN (the ONLY motel in Sneedville TN!) has a sign in one room:
“The toilet cannot handle toilet paper; put it in the trash can.”
I’ve been told that this is not a temporary problem; it’s been like that for years.
Ew.
Dec 29, 2009 at 9:41 am rating: 0
#42
Liz
I’d poop on the floor if I worked there.
Feb 14, 2010 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
#43 No Bowl Movements Allowed | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] Jake in Richmond…another one for the “WTF?” [...]
Apr 25, 2011 at 9:42 pm rating: 0
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