RSV-f’ing-P. Comprenez-vous?

December 13th, 2009 · 155 comments

“Our office manager was upset that people weren’t responding promptly enough to the Christmas party invitation,” says our submitter in San Diego.

In keeping with the holiday spirit of things, the office manager  apparently channeled that anger into the posting of this (uncredited) About.com excerpt in the office kitchen, for the edification of all. How that’s for savoir faire?

The term RSVP comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". If RSVP is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the invitation.

related: An evening of congenial abnormality

FILED UNDER: Christmas · etiquette · it's my party · obnoxious definition · office · party planning committee · San Diego


155 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Olson

    Do you think it would drive this guy completely insane if I were to RSVP with “Maybe”?

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:11 am   rating: 69  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Gavin

      Or, “maybe; it depends if Chris is going, but if he’s going with Carol, I might not come,”

      Dec 14, 2009 at 3:58 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mo® bang

      OH she is such a bitch! If she is coming and you are not there for me to talk shit about her with than I am so not going either.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   infant tyrone bang

      Is this an office party or Snarky High School Musical ?
      Oh….

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Sarah

    Gotta agree. People who dont RSVP, are annoying.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   April

      here here! I hate people who can’t handle a simple RSVP. I have a rule, if you fail to RSVP properly two times in a row to an event I am throwing, then you won’t be invited to anymore events I throw ever again. Why should I waste my time stressing about whether or not you are coming, having enough food, etc. if you can’t be bothered to take 2 minutes out of your day to RSVP on time?

      If you aren’t sure whether or not you can come, then go ahead and RSVP “no” or at least tell the host you are not sure. I would rather have that communicated to me, then not hear anything either way.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 5:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   park rose bang

      Thanks for telling us your location, April. But what do you think about people who don’t RSVP? ;)

      Dec 15, 2009 at 7:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Annie

    I like how some effort was made into choosing a fancy font for the header. Clearly this person pays attention to details.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Gunderson105

    I thought RSVP was French for “I surrender”.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   merkin4

      Easy to understand why you’d be confused. Approximately 47% of the French language consists of terms for “I surrender”, “We surrender”, “Please to allow us to surrender”, or “Would you like some wine and cheese with our white flag?”

      Now, what’s not as well known is that an additional 22% of the French language consists of phrases for “Dumb Americans”, “Stupid Americans”, “Evil Americans”, and “Please to look at all the retarded Americans.” Of course, the rest of the language simply consists of various phrasing for “I’ll let you have my daughter in exchange for a carton of cigarettes and a half-kilo of chocolate.”

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 93  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Palomon bang

      Ha! “Kilo.”

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:44 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   leaf

      In English, there is an expression called a “french leave,” but in france, they call it a “filer à l’anglaise,” or an english leave, and it means the exact same thing. So I guess they don’t like you either.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 2:20 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Geek Goddess

      However, the french horn is not at all the same as the cor anglais, or english horn.

      Of course this proves absolutely nothing at all about anything.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 1:37 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   park rose bang

      Cor! Anglais horn. Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 4:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   anglophile bang

      Not the old frog and limey debate again!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Mo® bang

      In Flanders fields the poppies blow
      Between the crosses, row on row,
      That mark our place; and in the sky
      The larks, still bravely singing, fly
      Scarce heard amid the guns below…

      …If ye break faith with us who die
      We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
      In Flanders fields.

      The more urbane hip metro supposedly educated french disdain the anglo contribution to their libertre. It is their Gaullist beliefs. The farmer and rural people rich in common sense and a true deep love of their France remember. Their fields reap still yearly the sorrow of war.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:54 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   farcical aquatic ceremony

      @ Merkin4: awesome. I gave you a ‘thumb up’, but that didn’t feel like enough.

      I do think you may have forgotten the 1/2 percentage point of the French language that’s devoted to berets, mimes, and pungent cheeses (words sometimes combined to discuss mimes in berets eating pungent cheeses).

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   infant tyrone bang

    Since the font of the entire note is sans serif, some of the folks (we aren’t told what kind of work is done here) in the office might have been a little worried about the dress code (unspecified in the note).

    Y’see, fonts with serifs are often referred to as “Roman”, and everybody can decode that to mean “Toga Party!” + everybody has sheets.

    But sans serif fonts are often referred to as ‘grotesque’ or ‘Gothic’, and not everybody is going to want to spring for an all-black ensemble (OK, you’ll get any part-time Johnny Cash impersonators) plus the all-important black or deep-purple cosmetics just for the chance to gobble up some left-over-from-Halloween red-hot candy and wash it down with cherry flavored KoolAid or even Singapore Slings.

    Team Toga!
    (Although we loves us a good rendition of “Werewolves of London”.)

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:42 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Geek Goddess

      If you use comic sans, come party night, there will be clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right. Of course, when I first see that comic sans invite, I get the feeling that something ain’t right, font-wise. And after I’ve had a few, I’m wondering how I’ll get down the stairs in my stilettos.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:23 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Wade bang

      Here I am, GG, stuck in the middle with you. ;)

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   park rose bang

      odd ♥ at 5.1 – it’s a little known fact that Pegasus in facts doubles as a stiletto-wearing escape goat… or maybe that’s red bull… either way, using one or the other will give you wings and make you fly. Problem solved.

      I like comic sans. I like note-writers. What was the other thing?… Okay, vilify me! vilify me all, with all the nefarious clinique techniques you have at your disposal!

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Resident Grammarian esq bang

      Crikey, I was villifying you in my mind as soon as I saw comic sans, then I read the rest and felt like I wasted the effort.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   infant tyrone bang

      Wade,
      Will trade you __ days of patented CR weather for your spot @ 5.2.

      Fill in blank, initial, and reply by authentication protocol if interested.

      rose,
      Cosmetologists back at Luton Airport are ready to subject you to an ever circling skeletal family (The Therapeutic Pirhanas) who will employ sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire. We expect that you will find the vilification not uncomprehensive. You will receive a coupon good for a 20% discount on your subsequent vilifications. You should be pleased to note that although they are thoroughly unscrupulous in their endeavours, each of our technicians have been, well, acquitted in the recent Clinique-al Trials to which they have been subjected.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 8:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Wade bang

      LOL, ty.

      I might consider it… if you slap me on the back and say please. :D

      Dec 13, 2009 at 10:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   pony girl

      5.3

      consider yourself vilified

      ps I like comic sans too, but I don’t often admit to it.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 10:43 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   infant tyrone bang

      Wade mi vato,
      Por favor, hombre…
      (gentle [but manly] palmada en la espalda)
      Su vecino virtualismo Tejano,
      ty

      (offstage, barely audible strains of ‘Mexicali Blues’ and ‘Dupree’s Diamond Blues’ are, well…barely audible)

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   pony girl

      *gasp*

      i missed the spankings?

      dangit

      Dec 14, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   infant tyrone bang

      Nah, PG…
      Didn’t miss a darned thing.
      We’uz just warmin’ up with a pat on the back.
      Now, did y’all wanna give one, get one, just watch and get all kinda squishy grapefruit about it, or did ya have sump’n complicated in mind ?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   pony girl

      I’m a pony.
      I need a swat on the rump to get me goin’ every once in a while.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 3:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   infant tyrone bang

      Ah, from time to time, don’t we all…

      Now, just to get you properly pre-positioned…
      Oh, look there, over the fence! I think that’s Halley’s Comet!

      thwACK

      OK? Next time we’ll switch?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 4:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   Matt

      Ooo but it’s using formal french. So formal, black togas?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   pony girl

      5.12,

      No switches allowed.
      Hands only please.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 12:00 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   infant tyrone bang

      Matt,
      Alphabet toges noires, mais pas de “r”.

      PG,
      Branches discarded…check!
      Manual applicators…check!
      But to toggle or not, that was the question.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 10:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Xenobiologista

    I don’t think it’s terribly passive-aggressive…it’s understandable that the manager’s annoyed if they’re in charge of buying food and has no idea how much to get.

    Also, why are we stuck using a French acronym? The fact that it’s an acronym of a phrase in another language means that it ends up getting used in weird ways like “Please RSVP” (“Please please respond”). Do you think more people would be likely to comply if plain English was used, e.g. “Please respond by Friday?”

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:42 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Geek Goddess

      “Please please PLEASE please respond” seems to sum up the sentiment of the season quite nicely, though.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:17 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   park rose bang

      Please, please me like you want to…
      Not like you have to…

      Wait, that’s all fucked up…

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   infant tyrone bang

      “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”
      Samuel Beckett

      Dec 13, 2009 at 8:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   pony girl

      Please allow me to introduce myself

      (i just felt like saying that)

      Dec 13, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   infant tyrone bang

      Always willing to lend a sympathetic ear to a rich filly with the refinement to enjoy peaches and vanilla, especially one wearing an anil a-line.
      Pleased to meet you, I’m Mr. Ryder, but golly, Molly, just call me Mitch.

      *goes out back to check on noise coming from beanstalk and to tell Wade he can have the weather, but low pressure on the spot-trading thing

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Geek Goddess

      Please, please me, oh yeah, like I please you

      Dec 14, 2009 at 1:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   infant tyrone bang

      Eek!
      That Odd don’t beat around the burnin’ bush much, duz she?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   park rose bang

      If you won’t letting me please you, baby, guess I’ve gotta please myself*

      Only place I could find the lyrics.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 5:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   Mo® bang

      Who has been eating crisps on the Divinyl couch?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   infant tyrone bang

      If vigilante-style Eros is taking matters into your own hands,
      How can that work if they DO let you join up with the posse?

      Hey, PG, I think we found us one of Dr. Reich’s sine waves…

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   Mo®

      Heh!

      Posse

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   infant tyrone bang

      Exchange between Marsha Warfield (guest) and Arsesnio Hall (host).

      After returning from a commercial break, the house band (Arsenio’s “Posse”) plays a few bars and as the music fades to nil we hear:

      Host: Nasty Posse!
      (an appropriate compliment for his band at that time/place)

      Guest: Is there any other kind?
      (excepting Lloyd Bentsen’s reducing of Dan Quayle to an indeterminate amount of sub-quantum-level particles, waves, and flop-sweat,
      THE greatest verbal pivot in the history of recorded speech)

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   infant tyrone bang

      @#6 Took a coupla of circuits to burn in, but loved your Noah joke.

      P.S. For some reason your handle morphs into “Linda Evangelista” in my haiku sub-processor.
      Just so if you see your 7 syllables in the middle of an uncredited haiku about former supermodels, you’ll have an idea of where it came from.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.14   flask

      I agree, I don’t understand why we have to use a French acronym. Why not just say exactly what you mean? “Please let me know by X date if you will be attending so I can plan food and drinks accordingly.” Simple and straightforward. The people who ARE attending have a vested interest in replying, ergo they’re the most likely to respond.

      “Regrets only” is the most asinine thing I’ve ever seen. Why should the onus be on the people who *won’t* attend? People who *won’t* attend also *won’t* be eating my food, so I don’t care if they can’t make it. I want to know who *IS* coming.

      It also means that if you forget to invite someone, or drop an envelope on the way to the post office, or (in the case of Evites) mistype someone’s email address, they will never get your invitation and thus you’ll assume they’re coming, then get all bent out of shape when they don’t show up. This happened to me once. I didn’t even know she’d had a party, and she told me in no uncertain terms (in front of other friends) how rude I was for not “sending my regrets.” Later, the ‘friend’ in question found my unmailed invitation behind her desk. She didn’t bother to apologize for accosting me, though, so that was a nice touch.

      The best are wedding invitations that say “RSVP” (meaning, if you can’t attend, you’re still required to reply) but then only include a positive response card. So if you have to decline the invitation, you need to mail your own separate note or try to find the bride’s parents’ phone number to let them know (because God knows there’s never a number on the response card).

      Jan 6, 2010 at 1:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Stephanie

    Xenobiologista, I don’t think the issue is people not understanding the concept of RSVPing because of it being ‘in another language’. As an office manager who sent out the invitation for the Christmas party with “Please respond by [date]” and still had to go around individually to people to ask them if they were coming or not since only about 25% had bothered to respond after being sent the invite as well as a ‘reminder to RSVP’, I think people are just lazy,inconsiderate and occasionally busy.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Mat Patel

      As someone who gets bothered by an office manager why I didn’t reply until now please understand that

      1/ I have more important things to consider than your fscking x-mas party

      2/ Reason I have more important things to consider is that the whole fscking world is going crazy around x-mas.

      3/ In particular corporate bean counters and project managers go ballistic before x-mas. Because they can’t plan and for them x-mas always happens to come out of the blue.

      4/ Every fscking idiot thinks I am his servant and his stuff is more important than my stuff.

      5/ I hate fscking corporate x-mas parties. Seeing the same dumb faces 9 or 10 hours a day is enough. I don’t want to spend my spare time with them, in particular not when they start to get drunk and when I have to schmooze the management. But If I don’t show up I might be labeled as “no a team player”.

      6/ So I have to find a good excuse to avoid that the x-mas party horror.

      So why the fsck don’t you assume right from the start that NO ONE WANT’S TO GO TO A FSCKING CORPORATE X-MAS PARTY, EXCEPT THE USUAL BUNCH OF OFFICE IDIOTS?

      Make the default a “won’t come” and require that only those interested need to reply with a “will come”.

      Even better, convince management that the best office party would be to give the people a few additional hours off, so they can do their own things. Like buying x-mas presents for the kids.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 4:15 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   jetjackson bang

      I agree with Mat. Fsck it!

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   park rose bang

      Me too. It’s fscking delish!

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Geek Goddess

      I think Mat is lscky to have so many people who really understand him.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 1:48 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   infant tyrone bang

      Brilliant…
      Default = ‘won’t come’
      1st Revelation of the Gospel According to Matths

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   JetSet

      Mat, for someone who is meant to be so busy, you not only have time to be on this site but write an essay on why you’re too busy to RSVP.

      Glad you’re not going to the office party, you sound like a bundle of self-important fun.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 3:22 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Mo® bang

      Well Fuckety Fuck fuck!
      Come on say it… you can do it.

      Agreed.
      Dear office managers and cube drones with the “hang in there” posters FUCK off leave me alone. My world has gone to shit around Christmas time and I don’t want to go hang out at TJ McFunsters with you and be subjected to the whiffs of cat urine and dispair coming off your Holiday bedazzled sweater. The rest of you tools can just die in a terrible holiday tree fire accident and I would probably giggle like a little school girl.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:07 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   anglophile bang

      *carefully backs away from Mo®’s cube. will offer him the peanut brittle some other time*

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:31 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   aaa bang

      So, is fscking the official brand of fucking brought by Fiskars scissors, or what?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   Mo® bang

      “Hullo Ma’am! My name is Mo and I am your friendly door to door Friskars saleman. We have a new product that I think you will like. “

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   infant tyrone bang

      Y’all are such cut-ups…ROFL(acerating)MAO…

      The only place safe will be deep within that system of duck-bill burrows.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.12   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Sharp humor and edgieness are the foil of the PAN ners…

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.13   Geek Goddess

      Although some of the PAN ners will persist in making the foil into little hats and wearing them all the time.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 4:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.14   park rose bang

      Oh, what else were we meant to do with it?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 6:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.15   Geek Goddess

      Well, rose, you can do whatever you want with it, although I don’t recommend biting down on it with a filling. I am sure your little hat will look cute on you at the Christmas party.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   John

    It’s not passive aggressive, it’s appropriately pointed. People who don’t RSVP are assholes.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 11:02 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   jason

      Yes, but so are managers.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:01 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Peasant

      The real assholes are people who require an RSVP for an office party.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 1:50 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   park rose bang

      It might be appropriately pointed, but I really think he should have thought twice about the centre alignment.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Nick Noehm

      I’ll bet it’s the same guy who tells me I can’t pinch off a log when I need to, or that I may no longer stand while micturating.

      I’m checking the “Just Cause for Dismissal” section of the employee handbook, and if I don’t find “failing to RSVP”, then the eff-effing effer can eff the effing eff off.

      Pardon my efFrench.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 8:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   aaa bang

      I just crapped behind the Christmas tree in the lobby because management said I couldn’t crap in the toilet.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Mo® bang

      A green tree shivers
      Generous shit stinks
      The lobby needs hosing

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:24 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Critical Grass bang

    Réspondez s’il vous plaît is a sine qua non condition to attend the party.
    Just respond, don’t be a snob.
    Merci.

    PS: Some people have been asking about the dress code. Don’t worry about it, anything you’re confortable wearing is good enough, as long as it’s haute couture.

    edited after reading asshole ashmeadow’s comment. Thanks.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   ashmeadow

      Exactly, CG. But I think I’m going to be a Latin snob (or an asshole, whichever you prefer) because “sine” is like sans in that it means “without” and is one word. Otherwise you’ve said “if lest with nothing.”

      Not that there is anything wrong with that.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 3:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   park rose bang

      Oh, so comic sans is without the comic? ;)

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   infant tyrone bang

      rose,
      How was that supposed to be funny…like sine la commedia and all?
      Is it like that trick circular, ceramic pasta that you pretend to cook and then serve ‘al Dante’? That stuff is funny as hell. Capitano Cruncho!
      Nice outfit today…an original Portinari? It looks divine on you!

      Dec 13, 2009 at 8:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   infant tyrone bang

      CG,
      Thank Heaven for Eternal Edit, no?
      I suppose you made a little boo-boo with la Latina original.
      Don’t be too hard with Latin snob types.
      Like me, many of them have Catholic high schools to put behind them.
      Mine was only 9th grade (but with hard-core Jesuits), and look at what a total pain I can be (on rare occasions).
      I’m working on being more of a team player.
      Maybe we can work with Latin snobs in the New Year.
      For Chinese astrology, 2010 is a year of the Tiger. Or maybe the Spider…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_46FDlzBduk

      P.S. παρακαλούμε να μην είναι μια σνομπ μόδα.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 9:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   infant tyrone bang

      Hey?
      If ‘sine’ is without…what kind of wave is a ‘sine wave’?

      Dec 13, 2009 at 10:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   park rose bang

      The thread is yours, ty. Into your hands I commend its spirit.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   pony girl

      Je ne comprends pas.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 12:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   infant tyrone bang

      Je crois qu’elle dit que j’écris trop souvent.
      Elle a même effacé sur des siens.
      A-t-elle fait cela pour rendre le mien apparaît plus en évidence ?

      Qu’est-ce qui est arrivé à Nouvelle Vague ?

      watashi wa kanojo ga watashi mo ōku no kakikomi da to omou.
      kanojo wa 1tsu demo kanojo no sakujo sa re masu.
      kanojo wa sore wo watashi ga yori kencho ni mieru yō ni okonau ka ?

      doko nūvu~erukasuka na n desu ka ?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   Nick Noehm

      Câlice! Tabarnac! Les langues étrangères font pleurer Bébé Jésus.

      Tsk, tsk, tsk …
      Jesuit education, my ass.

      (The preceding was not an invitation.)

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:36 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   infant tyrone bang

      If it wasn’t an invitation…is it OK if I don’t RSVP?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 3:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Nick Noehm

      Preferred, actually.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 3:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   anglophile bang

      I’m on Nick’s side. If English was good enough for Jesus, then surely it’s good enough for PAN?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:26 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   Mo® bang

      O que seria do nosso Salvador?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Babblefish doesn’t do Aramaic..

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   Mo®

      Derka derka derka!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Bak. Derk-derk-Allah. Derka derka, Mohammed Jihad. Haka sherpa-sherpa. Abaka-la.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.17   Mo® bang

      שלמא עמכון

      Dec 14, 2009 at 12:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.18   infant tyrone bang

      Was that the farcical parade review scene from “Stripes” translated into Farsi?

      Boom shaka-laka, laka, boom shaka-laka

      Dec 15, 2009 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Palomon bang

    Funny that a note on manners is itself so rude.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   StickSave

    If people feel that serious about RSVP, then maybe they should use fucking English to get the point accross since it’s obviously directed to English speaking persons. RSVP means “I’m too fucking lazy to write out how I need you to respond with a definite answer whether yes or no.”

    Dec 13, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Geek Goddess

      Or they could use fucking shoes to get the point across. Their comments would be particularly pointed if they use stilettos.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:14 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Chinchillazilla

      I’ve written it out before, though, with no effect. Also “If you don’t tell me if you’re coming, you won’t have food.” No effect.

      People know what it means, they just don’t give a shit.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 3:19 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   infant tyrone bang

      A Modest Proposal for increasing RSVP %
      (Caution: expect this to work only once)
      _______________________________
      Hey Y’alls
      Deck the Halls

      We’re going to buy Peruvian Holiday Snow
      based on the number of RSVP’s we get back.
      We’ll email the time + location of the Xmas
      party when we acknowledge the RSVP’s of
      those who plan to attend the bash.
      Can’t make it? You won’t need that info.
      Any ‘unspent funds’ will be donated to the
      local chapters of AA and NA.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Mo® bang

      When you are wearing those fucking shoes GG I know it is business time!

      it’s business, it’s business time

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   The Prof

    The Meaning Of Plagiarism:

    To use the work of others as your own, without citing the source.

    I have been reading PAN for a while and this is the first case of “cut and paste” passive aggressiveness I can remember.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 12:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   The Prof

    …and while we are at it. I am clearly no grammar fascist but I hate when RSVP is used as a noun and a verb.
    “How many RSVPs have we gotten?” or
    “Let me know if you want to go … I need to RSVP.”

    Dec 13, 2009 at 12:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Critical Grass bang

      Is a grammar fascist worse than a grammar nazi?
      Because, you know… Every nazi is a fascist, but not every fascist is a nazi.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Wade bang

      At least the grammar fascists keep the trains of thought running smoothly.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 12:38 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   bowloftoast bang

      Somewhere out there, Park Rose is pulling the pin on a Godwin grenade.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   infant tyrone bang

      Fascist train of thought:

      Steam…Loco…motive
      Smoothly avoid history
      Lather…Rinse…Repeat

      More like pulled Nouvelle Vague. Oh well, here’s Camille…
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxxV05p11lc

      Dec 13, 2009 at 10:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   The Prof

      “Grammar Fascist” is a term I started using when the word “Nazi” started getting thrown around waaayy too flippantly.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 11:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   Nick Noehm

      At least it’s an ethos.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   anglophile bang

      So, Prof. Prescriptive language for everyone but yourself? Since you are coining phrases while simultaneously frowning at a perfectly natural shift from verb to noun?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:30 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   Mo® bang

      No, Nick, those men are nihilists. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:02 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   Mo®

      INCOMING!!!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.10   park rose bang

      *sigh*

      Dec 14, 2009 at 6:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.11   Palomon bang

      Rose, you’re like a child, who wanders into a movie…

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.12   Nick Noehm

      13.8: There’s nothing to be afraid of.

      Yeah? How about the red speed skater spandex and the giant scissors? *shudder*

      Man, I need my fuckin’ johnson!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.13   Geek Goddess

      I think the thief may be trying to sell it on Craigslist, NN.

      http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/brl/1335663414.html

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.14   Nick Noehm

      Your support deeply appreciated, GG!

      Fortunately, I’ve already found “Jumbo” at a street vendor’s, lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 1:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.15   Mo®

      Sometimes, well for parties because it can cause trouble, I take it off and put it in my medicine cabinet.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 7:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Adam

    Is that green holiday paper? Or is it just plain old white and the color has changed due to transfer to digital?

    If so, I like the green paper, very festive.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 1:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   infant tyrone bang

      Adam, I truly can’t decide which of those options is *really* the case.
      So, I created a 3rd way.

      Somebody was making one of those jello-mold salads with lime-green jello, pineapple bits, walnut pieces, and those very small marshmallows.

      When they poured the jello into the mold, they realized that they had about 2 Tbsp’s extra, so they poured that onto a cookie sheet and soaked the memo in it, not only making it visually festive, but also adding a little holiday aroma (and even flavor) to it.

      They hoped that these additions would make it more likely for people to RSVP (sorry, Prof.), but as you can see from scanning the collective genius of PAN-istas here, people are mostly overworked to the point of being jerks about these holiday things, and it didn’t help a doggone bit.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   adam

      It’s too close to lunchtime because I am about to eat one of my memo’s right now. They all seem delicious now that i’ve found out how memo’s are actually prepared.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   park rose bang

      You’re my favourite, adam. Apart from everyone else. And apart from that comment about the peacock/peahens.

      You’ll soon be eating your words, of course. But not me, I stand by them, until I don’t.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   shwonline bang

    BBQ! RSVP ASAP. BYOB.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Adam

      Come to Homer’s BBBQ, The extra B is for BYOBB.

      What’s that extra B for?

      That’s a typo.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 1:40 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Gavin

      OMG! WTF! BBQ!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 4:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Mo® bang

      STFU! BBQ ISG!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   susaw

    basically, a host/ess can’t win. Cancel the party and contribute the funds to a shelter or someone who wants to celebrate the season. Bah humbug to those lame invitees who can’t bother to RSVP. so rude are they.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 2:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   birdchick

      My work place did that last year. You should have heard the bitching that went on after the announcement. No one would have gone to the corporate event anyway, but that would have been better then giving “their” holiday money to a shelter, right? whiny jack donkeys!

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Wade bang

    If management had thought to send out the invitation via Facebook, then everyone would have responded promptly and courteously.

    wait.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Adam

      haha, well said.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 12:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   smacky

    Here’s another handy use for escape goats! When people show up at your party and they haven’t RSVP’d (sorry, Prof) you can have them ride the escape goats back out the door.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 5:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Havingfitz

    With deepest regrets, I must inform you that I will not be able to attend your party. I’m scheduled to testify at the trial of our former employee, Bob Mess, who was fired for doing number 2 in the men’s room (while wearing very loud stiletto heels). As you know, Bob retaliated by stealing a few dozen staplers, some diamond cream,Dave’s soda, and a Chihuahua named Tobby. If you have any questions, please direct them to my tan poodle.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 5:31 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   jetjackson bang

      I guess that is why they call him Bob Mess.

      Dec 13, 2009 at 5:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Mel K

    What’s aggressive in this note for me is the annoying use of centre alignment. Not only do I not want to attend the stupid party, I do not want to be visually assaulted by reading something that does not allow for easy skimming.

    I guess it could have been worse if hard returns had been inserted to make it in the shape of a Christmas Tree.

    Next time, spend the money on a really great drinks trolley with drinks and treats and send it around while people are working. They’ll be happy to stop work and have a better time than at a forced party.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Beanster bang

      * shudders at the thought of christmas tree shaped PAN *

      * shudders in a different way at thought of drink trolley at work *

      Dec 14, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Mo® bang

      * Sooooo wants a drink trolley at work! *

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Lisa

    I’m going to have to declare myself “Team Management” on this one. Even people who pride themselves on their manners will neglect to RSVP.

    Don’t be afraid! We’re not asking because we want to harangue you to come if you dare refuse the invitation. We just want to know how many fu**ing chicken fingers and boiled shrimp to buy.

    Oh, and all you losers that bring your entire extended family to the office Christmas party? We’re all laughing at you.

    Dec 13, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   park rose bang

      I don’t think the entire extended family really mind. They’re probably laughing together while the six or so managers are laughing at them.

      Maybe it isn’t good manners, but if it is allowed, then what’s the problem? If it isn’t allowed, then make it transparent.

      Middle management is often the first to go when there are lay-offs and so on. The losers might be losers, but they might outlast you in the employment stakes. A bit of grace, even if it’s not returned, goes a long way.

      Yours, gracelessly – rose.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Quinn

    Man oh man, I hate it when people don’t cite their sources. >:(

    Dec 13, 2009 at 8:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   kdaniel

    Sounds like their office could use a little Heart:
    I got an invitation for you
    A little temptation for you
    A night in your honor
    A secret rendezvous

    I can almost see your face at my door
    I don’t want to have to wait anymore
    I know my offer might be long overdue

    RSVP
    It’s a private affair
    I just won’t believe that you don’t care
    RSVP
    Only you and me
    I’ll be waiting till you answer me

    Dec 13, 2009 at 9:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   moody

      Hint please? I cannot enjoy this comment until I know what Heart song this is. Barracuda? Magic Man? The suspense is killing me!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 10:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   kdaniel

      RSVP
      I just won’t believe that you don’t care!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Palomon bang

    Gang-
    We’re looking forward to the office Christmas party.
    We need a head count to order food. Our aim is to get some good chow instead of stale chips and salsa, so please RSVP, which is French for “Give us a Heads Up,” before the end of the week. This’ll let us get some quality h’oer’duervers, which, when spelled correctly, is French for “good stuff you can eat with your hands.”
    Thanks in advance and Merry Christmas.
    - The Boss

    Dec 13, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Escape Goat

      Amen.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 8:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Mo® bang

      No “h’oer’duervers” means petri dish of germs or food that the whore from accounting touched all individually looking for her favourite. This occurring right after she got back from giving the CFO a hand job and she didn’t wash her hands. Bon Appetite! Which is french for “Have fun throwing up”.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 9:08 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Halleujah and amen.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Mo® bang

      People should keep their dickbeaters off the appetizers unless they have washed up first! That’s what Emily Post says.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 11:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   park rose bang

      24.3 which is pronounced /ˌɑːˈmɛn/ or /ˌeɪˈmɛn/; Hebrew: אָמֵן, Modern Amen Tiberian ’Amen ; Arabic: آمين‎, ’Āmīn ; and is Hebrew, Modern Amen Tiberian and Arabic for Amen, and Hallelujah, which is Latin, Hebrew and Tiberian for Hallelujah. Jeez, I wish people would stop using foreign words.

      These are some I think we should rid our language of: alcohol, coffin, chemist, tomato, mosquito, cafe, pompous idiot savant (self-description, there – well, you might want to skip the savant part), my real name…

      Okay, I better get to work now.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Makya

    This is exactly why I cancelled Christmas this year.

    Dec 14, 2009 at 2:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Nick Noehm

      They found the father?

      Dec 14, 2009 at 2:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   park rose bang

      Please explain. I do not get this joke. I am sure I will be an embarrassment to myself and the thread, but that’s nothing new.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Nick Noehm

      Well, SOMEBODY was claiming to be a virgin …

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   park rose bang

      Yeah… I got that far. No worries… my conception of things is far from immaculate.

      Dec 15, 2009 at 3:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Renagade676

    I really don’t think it’s important to RSVP if you’re coming to a wedding or a funeral, unless you aren’t able to make it. Or it’s for a really formal wedding.

    Then again, my wedding was a casual outdoor wedding on my parent’s property, with a potluck dinner and a Star Wars cake.

    In the other hand office parties should generally be, “don’t RSVP, don’t come”. Save the people who have busy home lives alot of effort.

    Dec 14, 2009 at 5:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Tasha

      The problem with not RSVPing if you’re coming to something is that the hostess might not know you’ve gotten the invitation. If everyone followed that rule, it’s possible that no one would show up.

      RSVP is a standard rule that leaves no questions, and yet people don’t follow it. If we made up variations to it, no one would come to a party unless they felt like it when someone texted them about it.

      Dec 14, 2009 at 7:34 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Escape Goat

    Is “whether” randomly italicized?

    And isn’t “italicized” an Italian word? I thought this manager was going with a French motif. C’mon Man(ager), don’t confuse us.

    Dec 14, 2009 at 7:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Joe 2

    “C’mon people! I need to know how many Happy Meals to order, goddammit!

    Dec 14, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Geek Goddess

      Hey! My Happy Meal is a few fries short!

      Dec 14, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Cady

    I confess I’m guilty of writing a similar note at the bottom of every invitation I write, simply because the vast majority of my friends do not grasp the RSVP concept.

    Dec 14, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   | Comment dit-on “fermez la porte SVP” en anglais?

    [...] related: Faux Pas de Deux [...]

    Oct 2, 2012 at 10:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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