Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.” Josh’s parents, meanwhile…
related: No money, no trophy
90 responses so far ↓
#1
infant tyrone
We used ta dream of havin’ a rug…
Faustian bargain time…may Poseidon, god of horses, protect my rump!
This is not the first 2-4-1* coupon at Chez Mephisto, but it’s the first dunning letter I’ve seen from a Mr. & Mrs. Guido.
*sorry PG…resistance was futile.
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:30 pm rating: 3
#2
anglophile
A rug, an iPod, a computer–and Thou!
Such is the stuff of poetry.
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:37 pm rating: 20
#3
Gunderson105
Why the paw prints in the letter? Did Josh get his legs amputated in a railway accident and only had enough money for a veterinarian to do the prosthetic work?
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:40 pm rating: 15
#4
Guy Smiley
“We’re witholding it from your first tuition payment, so if they don’t let you in that psych 101 class, you’ll know why. Cough it up, college boy.”
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:41 pm rating: 24
#5
unholyghost2003
What did he do on Prom Night that resulted in his owing his folks $185? I am thinking the “rug” reference is in regard to the hall rug that had to be sent out for special cleaning after he and his buddies puked up Jungle Juice all over it.
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:47 pm rating: 14
#6
QuarterRoy00
$185 for prom night? Hookers and condoms sure are expensive these days!
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:54 pm rating: 26
#7
Mo®
Wha wha what? $185 is cheap for prom today! Where did Josh go to High School that it only cost $185 the “Footloose” town?
Dec 15, 2009 at 12:57 pm rating: 8
#8
Mark
That rug really ties the room together!
Dec 15, 2009 at 1:01 pm rating: 32
#9
Mark
WLU and MDJJ… interesting names. There is no indication that those are his parents.
Maybe WLU is his Willfully Lustful Uncle, and MDJJ is the Melodramatic Divorced Jewess Jizzlicker next door?
Dec 15, 2009 at 1:09 pm rating: 6
#10
Hawaii
I’m all for kids paying their own way, but why so stingy, WLU & MDJJ? Why not just ask for a round $150 or 175 and be done with it?
No way the entire prom cost only $185. That poor kid is most likely on some kind of stingy-parent-payment-plan. Hey kid, hurry up and graduate and run, RUN like the wind!
Dec 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm rating: 5
#11
Joe
“We’re so glad you made it to college! But you owe us a pathetic amount of money.” In print, no less.
I flashed back to when my freshman year ended. I had my term papers mailed, which I did very well on. But all my grandfather could talk about was how he had to give the post office 14 cents for insufficient postage.
Dec 15, 2009 at 1:40 pm rating: 10
#12
Critical Grass
Josh,
So you’re in college now… Very nice, hey! Remember when you promissed us you would get a job, fancy college boy? So, just get off your lazy-spoiled-fat (hey jinx!) ass and go earn some money!
Punk!
Oh, and mom says “hi”.
JDAJDKA UWNA HDA,X,X XOXO GG
Dec 15, 2009 at 2:43 pm rating: 13
#13
shwonline
You still owe us $185 for prom night. RSVP ASAP.
Dec 15, 2009 at 3:25 pm rating: 6
#14
unholyghost2003
Listen here College boy. You think you are better than us with your “iPod” and your “computer” and your “rug” to cover the floor? Remember where you came from buddy. And remember you owe us, you owe us BIG. You owe us $185.
~The Old Man
Dec 15, 2009 at 3:48 pm rating: 14
#15
April
I am guessing he is paying his own way to college too? Otherwise I doubt the 185$ for prom would even register on their radar compared to the 300$ for books and 3000$ for tuition.
Dec 15, 2009 at 3:51 pm rating: 4
#16
Oh Really
I feel like we can’t ignore the ad above it, though. “Kendrum and Kendrup”? The hell? I pray they’re not twins. (Although that would only mitigate the awful by a minimal increment.)
Dec 15, 2009 at 5:30 pm rating: 8
#17
aaa
Rhyming is damn lame
Don’t wait a year to collect
WTF paw prints?
Dec 15, 2009 at 5:41 pm rating: 8
#18
Resident Grammarian esq
But the other notes are not sweet or uplifting. Your British friends? Code for mafia
Dec 15, 2009 at 5:50 pm rating: 6
#19
Escape Goat
BRILLIANT! TEAM WLU-MDJJ 4 EVA
Dec 15, 2009 at 7:14 pm rating: 1
#20
at2002
I bet they paid more than $185 for the ad.
Dec 15, 2009 at 7:35 pm rating: 5
#21
jetjackson
I am all for hard line parenting and limericks.
Lending you money was a mistake,
One again we are unlikely to make.
Listen here sonny,
Time to cough up the money.
Or your kneecaps we will have to break.
Dec 15, 2009 at 7:40 pm rating: 21
#22
Canthz_B
Clearly Josh suffers from alopecia areata and the $185 was for the deposit on the fly hairpiece he wore to his prom.
Dec 15, 2009 at 7:56 pm rating: 4
#23
Canthz_B
I bet it sucks to find your debt to your parents on your credit report, but they always find a way to have the last laugh.
Even if you do only find out about it at the car dealership years later.
The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward “Gotcha!”
Dec 15, 2009 at 10:55 pm rating: 6
#24
Canthz_B
I hope Josh isn’t a Performing Arts major.
I’d hate for him to misunderstand when his dad talks about breaking a leg.
Dec 15, 2009 at 11:17 pm rating: 2
#25
Joe 2
“She hollerin’ about the front rent,
she ain’t gonna get the back rent.
She ain’t gonna get NONE of it!”
Dec 16, 2009 at 8:00 am rating: 2
#26
adam
I think it’s kind of lame to name all three of your children names the start with the letter J.
Dec 16, 2009 at 8:45 am rating: 1
#27
farcical aquatic ceremony
I was looking up Kendrum and Kedrup, hoping against hope that they were Old German for “The Girls Next Door Are Hos Who Live With An Old, Possibly Deceased, Man” but found the issue of the WUSL newspaper in which the ad above appears. Just thought I’d share another ad printed in the “Notes From Home” section. In all its scary glory:
A E Neiman
MOM AND DAD
I am bound to listen to these
sighing stones, in a week
crumpled cries, in a month
crumbling bones.
Dec 16, 2009 at 9:34 am rating: 1
#28
Ash
I’m not totally convinced his parents wrote the note. Look at the initials: WLU, MDJJ. Parents commonly have the same last name/initial… Sounds more like some high school buddies still at home and they’re in a miff over a Prom debt.
Dec 16, 2009 at 9:51 am rating: 1
#29
Gwan
Ash – sure it’s not something like ‘we love you, Mom, Dad, Jake and Joe’ or whatever…
Ah – someone above had the same idea. So there you go.
Dec 16, 2009 at 10:57 am rating: 0
#30
Rafovanny
I think you are right. But you should cover more on this topic.
Dec 22, 2009 at 5:14 am rating: 0
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