“To the best of our knowledge,” writes our submitter from Raleigh, North Carolina, “the bottle in question is one of those $0.79 plastic Deer Park water bottles.” You know, the special kind carried in just about every gas station, 7-11, and grocery store in the state.
Moral of the story? Just another example of how taking it upon yourself to clean out the ol’ office fridge can OMG KILL PEOPLE.
related: Your BBQ = 9/11
123 responses so far ↓
#1
Palomon
Is this a note for each bottle? The big and the little?
Dec 17, 2009 at 1:03 am rating: 12
#2
Pseudonym
I’m on the fence, here, baby. I don’t think the value of the item is important, if it’s still good, it hasn’t been sitting there for 300 years and you don’t know who it belongs to. I can’t deny that it’s not that hard to set out and acquire new water–especially if your damn health is on the line–but come on. Isn’t it common practice to ask around about the ownership of the items in the fridge before you go ahead and toss them?
Dec 17, 2009 at 1:15 am rating: 7
#3
Nick Noehm
I’d say the tosser’s best bet is to lie low and wait. It’s a self-correcting problem, either way.
Elementary game theory.
Dec 17, 2009 at 1:38 am rating: 3
#4
infant tyrone
Good lord, how was your vacation in the land of budget neurosurgery?
When you figure out how to dissolve your *medical* pills in a glass, cup, clean can, or just a rinsed out Lean Cuisine box…ask some of your colleagues to sell you some of those non-medical pills and powders
and get them up to what’s left of your brain, Sweet Toots.
By any means necessary and ex-post-fasto!
Oh, if you’re worried about the added plastic footprint, Lissena prophet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W33HRc1A6c
Dec 17, 2009 at 1:41 am rating: 10
#5
Flaboy2425
Leads me to wonder why he/she has to dissolve his/her pills before he/she takes them? Medications are usually available in liquid or tablet form. If not, put pills in mouth, put water in mouth and swallow both. Pills will dissolve in mouth or stomach. The note writer seems to be more concerned about his/her bottle than his/her health.
Dec 17, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 4
#6
bowloftoast
For some reason, I was sure this note was going to read ‘To the one who tossed my salad…’
…bit disappointed.
Dec 17, 2009 at 2:03 am rating: 9
#7
Fridge Pirate
The water was fucking delicious!
Dec 17, 2009 at 2:57 am rating: 5
#8
Gavin
Two notes for emphasise or did the submitter feel it necessary to digest it just in case we amateurs couldn’t quite grasp the underlying message?
Dec 17, 2009 at 4:21 am rating: 1
#9
at2002
Who knew? Yoda’s alive and working in a cubicle somewhere, just back from vaca in Mos Eisley.
The small bottle he used-replace it he must. Around there a plethora must be. Disposable coffee cups in an office abound.
Dec 17, 2009 at 7:07 am rating: 3
#10
Gunderson105
Well, I’ll take that unused medication off her hands, being she can’t use it anymore…
Dec 17, 2009 at 7:21 am rating: 2
#11
Canthz_B
One word: “Flask”.
Dec 17, 2009 at 7:32 am rating: 7
#12
jetjackson
Ahh I would suggest that someone get that water bottle asap. Notice the progression in the notes becoming more demanding. I wouldn’t be suprised if those pills were for psychosis or schitzophrenia with the next note likely to be written in blood.
Dec 17, 2009 at 7:33 am rating: 10
#13
JessieJane
Just how many bottles were in this fridge? And what were the other ones used for? I’m getting a picture of a horde of bottles, all saved ‘just in case,’ even though only the little one got any real action.
Dec 17, 2009 at 7:56 am rating: 2
#14
Just Me
I wonder how she’s altering the efficacy of her meds if she’s dissolving them in water first. Most pills coated or capsuled for time-release purposes, unless said medication is Alka Seltzer.
Obviously, I’m new here. I LOVE this site!
Dec 17, 2009 at 9:08 am rating: 3
#15
Critical Grass
To the one complaining about the tossed water bottle:
$HERE’S A DOLLAR!$
GO CRAZY! Oh, wait…
Dec 17, 2009 at 9:31 am rating: 15
#16
Mo®
Oh it is such a jagged little pill and how ironic it is.
Dec 17, 2009 at 10:43 am rating: 5
#17
Chefgirl
We used to have night janitors here who would throw away our empty or half-empty water bottles FROM OUR DESKS. Ditto anything else they determined was garbage. We finally ran off some neon yellow stickers that read “DO NOT THROW AWAY”. Now THAT was annoying.
Dec 17, 2009 at 11:30 am rating: 0
#18
oi
aah* eek* ohh*, help! help! I am chocking! No, No move away from me you idiot, you are breathing in my airspace and killing me! Have some respect you tool! Don’t you know I need 5 feet radius airspace to survive! I could have died because of you, you jerk!
* fake chocking noise
Dec 17, 2009 at 11:35 am rating: 6
#19
puzzled
This hysteric needs to switch those “medical” pills for some chill pills. Which are available in suppository form. Problem solved!
Dec 17, 2009 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#20
Geek Goddess
She can’t take her medical pills without her ‘special’ bottle. But she seems to have no problem with her recreational pills. Obviously motivation can find a way around the loss of the pill bottle.
Dec 17, 2009 at 1:56 pm rating: 3
#21
Geek Goddess
Now we know that she dissolves her medical pills in the small bottle. And she ‘uses’ all the bottles at lunch. Perhaps if management were to do something about the plumbing, and the notes in the ladies’, she wouldn’t need so many bottles, and they wouldn’t be stinking up the fridge.
I am deducing that the pills are diuretics.
Dec 17, 2009 at 2:00 pm rating: 7
#22
Mel K
No, wait! The pill popper, I mean drinker, is on to some great logic.
The next time my pc freezes, I’ll just stop working.
Who would want manky bottles from the fridge after your holiday? If they are so crucial to life, just wash them and put them in your desk drawer. She’d only wash them upon return before using, right?
Dec 17, 2009 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#23
mystic_eye_cda
Sheesh use a fucking cup, at least those are washable. Get a nice mug, glass, etc that is personalized or get some nice ceramic paint (or sharpie but I just don’t care what things look like) and stick your name on it! No one is going to toss your mug… well not unless it gets really mold covered.
Dec 17, 2009 at 4:28 pm rating: 0
#24
Escape Goat
To the one who tossed my bottles while I was away on vacation — that’s hot!
Dec 17, 2009 at 4:31 pm rating: 2
#25
Miss Shackson if You're Nasty
If she uses the SAME bottles every day and is SO freaked out that they were thrown away, don’t you think it’s probably time for some new bottles anyway? There’s probably fungus growing on them and such.
Dec 17, 2009 at 8:07 pm rating: 0
#26
Canthz_B
If she can’t swallow pills it’s a good bet she also has a “liquid lunch”.
Can’t she just use one of those bottles?
Dec 17, 2009 at 9:35 pm rating: 1
#27
Canthz_B
Don’t buy the bit about dissolving pills.
Someone stole her secret science project…she was saving time in those bottles.
One had most 0f 2008 in it.
Not that anyone wants to live that one again.
I think she’s working on lightning next.
Dec 17, 2009 at 10:44 pm rating: 1
#28
Canthz_B
Who took my bottle?!
JEANNIE!!!!!!!
Dec 17, 2009 at 10:49 pm rating: 1
#29
Hmmm
How well do pills dissolve in gin, anyway?
Dec 17, 2009 at 11:15 pm rating: 0
#30
Just imagine...
… how pissed off she was to add the sticky note and DEMAND replacement bottles.
In her first note she just decries the removal of her special bottle. But then she probably sat at her desk for 2 hours, working herself into a lather. Finally, she thought, “They can damn well replace my bottle!”
Enter sticky note.
Dec 17, 2009 at 11:23 pm rating: 0
#31
jjjj
File under hideous grammar
“The small bottle I used to dissolve my medical pills after lunch”…
is…what, disgusting? White?
The car I drive to work
The pencil I write
The chair I sit
Who actually calls their medicine “medical pills” anyway? People that usually swallow non-medical pills?
Dec 18, 2009 at 9:30 am rating: 0
#32
anaceofkidneys
“Medical pills”. As opposed to recreational ones.
Dec 20, 2009 at 10:16 pm rating: 0
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