I hope you get money from everybody!

December 18th, 2009 · 138 comments

“In college,” Sandy writes, “I shared a house with a motley group of roomies. When it was time for me to graduate, my super-kooky roommate suggested I send her parents a graduation announcement because they had liked me a lot (having met me once, for a few hours) and would feel insulted if I didn’t send them an announcement. I had a few left over, so I did.”  A while later came this response – not passive-aggressive per se, but a little, well…

Dear Sandy, I hope I spelled your name right. [redacted] + me + [redacted] talked about what to do, and $25 came up. So here you go. I hope you get money from everybody! Congratulations on your graduation!

Adds Sandy: “The assumption of my attempt to grub money coupled with the cheerfully airy tone really speaks volumes about the environment in which my old roomie grew up. (Incidentally, she DID spell my name right.)”

P.S. Yes, that’s $25, not $125.

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

FILED UNDER: college life · Moms & Dads · money · not so much passive-aggressive · Say wha? · signed with love


138 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Geek Goddess

    I am impressed; they spelled both graduation and congratulations correctly, even though it looks like they had to make a bit of a correction at the end of congratulations. What I would question is their sincerity. After all, how much do they really love her, after a few hours acquaintance? Not much, if they can only come up with $25 between the three of them.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 1:52 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Nick Noehm

      They were looking at that $25.00 slipped into the card, and thinking it looked a little miserly. They talked about chipping in a little more. Couldn’t make the leap.

      Finally A said, let’s throw in one more “congratulation”. Hell, let’s throw in two!

      So then P added the “s”.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 2:28 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mo® bang

      I haven’t had my coffee yet, move along nothing to see here.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   oi bang

      $125.00?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   jbles

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who read “$125″ the first time through.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 4:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Maas

      I actually really like this note. It’s so descriptive that I am almost surprised that the authors don’t go into the selection process for the card, and which pen to use.
      I guess the strongest hint of PA in the note is the name spelling bit because, I suspect, the announcement she sent them had her name spelled correctly, so it shouldn’t be that hard.
      The segment about hoping she gets money from everyone is probably bibliographic. I imagine that the authors received lousy gifts when they graduated, so they are wishing her better luck.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 4:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   park rose bang

      You know that’s because they used A.P.A when their professors specifically said they favoured M.L.A..

      Dec 18, 2009 at 8:29 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Palomon bang

      GG- That’d be “among” the three of them if you’re a prescriptive grammarian.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Geek Goddess

      Sorry, Pal, I was taught under the “Don’t shove grammar down their throats or it will stifle their creativity” school of language, and I have struggled with it ever since.

      Damn poets.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 11:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Canthz_B bang

      I admit I don’t know what a strict prescriptive grammarian is, but I found this at http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#54:

      Among or Between?
      “When only two are involved, the answer is easy: between.
      [Example:] Miss Bennet sensed a barrier between her and Mr. Darcy.
      With three or more, you have a choice. Use between if you’re thinking of the individuals and their relations with one another.
      [Example:] There were several embarrassing exchanges between Lydia, Kitty, and Jane.
      Use among if you’re thinking of the group.
      [Example:] Darcy’s arrival created a stir among the guests” (O’Connor, Woe Is I).”

      So wouldn’t that make it “between”, as in “Our individual contributions totaled $25.”? Their relations with one another in this case being based upon the fact that they were contributing to a common cause?

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Palomon bang

      I may be mistaken.
      If the money was discussed between the note writer and the others, then I am wrong.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Canthz_B bang

      Fact is, either way sounds acceptable to my ears, so I wouldn’t say anyone is wrong here.
      Among just makes me feel of something that stays within the group.

      Just depends upon the interpretation of “individuals” and “group”.
      Is it an individual group, or a group of individuals?

      *head explodes!* :-D

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   Geek Goddess

      What happens in the group stays within the group.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Geek Goddess

      “Perhaps next time, you will remember to be more careful.” She pulled back and raised her arm, bringing it down with a sharp crack.

      “Seven,” he cried.

      Her free hand caressed his hot, red flesh for a moment before she brought her arm down again as hard as she could.

      “You will not trifle with me!” Smack!

      “I will not stand for it! Is that understood?”

      “Nine! Yes, Mistress, I understand.” His voice sounded husky.

      Without further ado, she delivered the final blow. When she had finished, he stood quietly waiting, head bent, eyes bright with unshed tears.

      “Have you learned your lesson?” she asked, close to his ear.

      “Yes, Mistress.” His voice was soft and slightly husky.

      “And what lesson have you learned?” Her hand lightly soothed his sore bum.

      “Mistress has taught me that I must never use a comma before a conjunction where there is a shared subject.”

      Her hand ceased its caress and was replaced by the riding crop stroking lightly over his flank. “Never?” she asked, the hardness back in her voice.

      “I misspoke, Mistress. Please forgive me. An exception may be made in the case of certain contrasting expressions, Mistress.”

      “Excellent. And you will remember now?”

      “Yes, Mistress. I will remember.”

      “Very good.” Her hand resumed its light caress. “And you promise you will take more care with your use of commas in the future.”

      “Yes, Mistress, I promise I will take more care with my use of commas.”

      As he felt her fingers tracing delicately over his heated flesh, he found himself wondering what punishment she would mete out if he were to abuse a semicolon. Still bent over the desk, he allowed himself the tiniest smirk. He just might have to find out.

      I can’t take any credit for this, except for copying and pasting. Remember, lack of grammar education in my past would preclude this sort of creative writing.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 2:11 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.14   oi bang

      10 thumbs up!(only I wish)

      Dec 19, 2009 at 2:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.15   park rose bang

      eek, it wasn’t the poets, it was the Universal Grammarians.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 9:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.16   Palomon bang

      Punctuation is friggin’ hot!
      I’m sporting a tremendous exclamation point!

      Dec 19, 2009 at 10:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.17   infant tyrone bang

      a) Is that a ‘postrophe in yer pocket or…?

      b) Tonight’s lecture: “The Semiotics of the Semicolon in Bel Kaufman’s “Up the Down Staircase” or “If We Came In the Back Door With Our Eyes Wide Open, How Come We Have Such a Shitty Outlook on Life?”

      Dec 19, 2009 at 10:35 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.18   park rose bang

      1.16: Not tonight, dear, I have my period.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 8:23 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.19   Canthz_B bang

      How about your colon?

      Dec 20, 2009 at 4:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.20   park rose bang

      8O !

      Dec 20, 2009 at 5:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.21   infant tyrone bang

      Asterisky biz bad idea w/o raincoat(s) (or boots, dialect dependent).

      Dec 20, 2009 at 5:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   KayOkay

    I’m glad they came to a consensus when they talked about “what to do”.

    “What to do? What to do? What do you think we should do, B? Did I say your name right?”

    Dec 18, 2009 at 2:01 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   theshecreature

    Who saves cards this lame for 6 years?

    Dec 18, 2009 at 2:25 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      If she saved this for 6 yrs, just think of all the other crap she has saved over time…I imagine there are paths through the stacks and piles.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:05 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Wev

      Having just dug through some old storage bins my hubby has had since college, I’ve learned it’s not so much a matter of saving these things as forgetting they exist and rediscovering them through archeology.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 11:47 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Doctor Jones, we’ve heard a lot about you.
      Professor of Archeology. Expert on the occult and how does one say it? Obtainer of rare antiquities.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 12:05 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Ah, rilla, you have been soundly thumbed for your Indy reference.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 12:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Palomon bang

      No time for love, Doctor Jones!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   infant tyrone bang

      Wait, no time for Dr. Grace Jones,
      prescriber of “Love is the Drug” and
      “Love on Top of Love” ?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 11:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Jones is dead. He was of no use to us. This girl, however, has certain value where we’re headed. She’ll bring a very fine price. Herr Colonel – that cargo you’ve taken – if it’s your goal, go in peace with it, but leave us the girl. It will reduce our loss on this trip.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 1:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Joe 2

    Okay, how does $25 “come up”?
    Best friend = $200?
    Nephew = $50?
    Some schmuck who used to be a roommate = $25?

    Dec 18, 2009 at 3:16 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Gavin

      Does the note not say 125 I’d be chuffed with that – I’d be telling them I’d graduated every year, milk the PA bastards!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 5:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   park rose bang

      Looks like $125.00 to me, too. I’d be happy with that. I’d be happy with $25.00, too. It sounds as if the parents are as confused as Sandy. Maybe it’s the roommate we should focus on? I don’t quite understand this note, but if I go to the WTF section I’m sure all will become clear.
      Though the “I hope I spelled your name right” is of course code for “…and just which of our kooky daughter’s flatmates were you???”

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:04 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   park rose bang

      Joe 2, I think you consult one of those magic 8 balls.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Keith

      Mastercard? Priceless….

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Mo® bang

      See I thought it said $125 which I thought was super generous and kooky for having only met Sandy for a few hours. Now it makes more sense. :oops:

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   infant tyrone bang

      At least two cats in the Herr Professor’s hot-box here.

      1) Enclosed amoount = $25 ? or $125 ?
      2)”A” = “super-kooky roomie” ? or someone else ?

      I’m also 50-50 about “super-kooky roomie” getting a “commission”, but
      I know the 100% true story of Sandy’s post-graduate adventures…see #15.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Escape Goat

    Sandy, (Geez, that’s a tough name to spell!)
    It’s been great rooming with you! This is the sincerest $8.33 I’ve ever gifted! Congratulations!

    “Sincerely” + “with love,”
    P

    Dec 18, 2009 at 4:20 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   infant tyrone bang

      EG,
      Sandy/Sandi
      Marcy/Marci
      Debby/Debbi + lots more.

      It’s only a 50/50 problem on these names, but if you’re the cat on the ceiling (look up @ #4.6)… you’re way more *concerned* than the parents were (well, than “P”, the writer, was), but no more *certain*.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   snuzzle

      Sandy
      Sandie
      Sandee
      Sanddee
      Sandey
      Sahndi
      Sande

      …need I go on?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, you haven’t gotten close to “The Sandinator”, “Sandinista”, or “Sandistor Radio” yet…

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Gavin

    Ouch,

    Please return to sender

    Dec 18, 2009 at 5:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Wade bang

    Well another girl might have been angry
    and another girl might have been hurt
    but another girl didn’t have a student loan
    Sandy stashed the check in her shirt.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 6:00 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Nick Noehm

      multi-thumb

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      Superb, Wade, can I do the human beat-box for this track?!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   park rose bang

    Just donate it to charity, and move on, sistah.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 7:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Tim Kolb

    Hey, some people were not born with silver spoons in their mouths. I betcha you would feel differant if you found out later that her daughter was the first in her family to go to college and prob means a great deal for this family.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 7:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   park rose bang

      That silver spoon was…
      is hoping to invoke another of tinkerbell’s tumbleweed whirlwinds. That was fucking delicious.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 8:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   jetjackson bang

    Just enough for a (insert universal cultural slang for $25 worth of marjiuana here)!

    Dec 18, 2009 at 7:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    You can get money by sending letters and cards? WTF am I working?

    George! Bring me my calligraphy pen and the good stationery!!

    Dec 18, 2009 at 7:47 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   yeah right

      hmmm, I lurk on these boards quite frequently and unless your job title is “PAN site monitor/comment generator” I seriously doubt you work.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 2:21 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   mystic_eye_cda

      Me too… I’ve never even heard of a graduation announcement card and now you tell me you get money by sending them? Why didn’t anyone tell me when I graduated -that’s why they should have taught instead of business english.

      PS “Yeah Right”

      You should get a job as a theater tech. You would like hell for week setting up then spend the duration of the show (1-50 weeks) sitting on your butt playing on your blackberry just in case something goes wrong. Now that’s what I should have done for a living dammit! Instead I’m a stay at home mom who used to program computer applications.

      Lots of people have jobs with lots of down time, most of them are well paid.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Canthz_B bang

      yeah right, you must not lurk here between 7am and 6pm Mountain Time, Monday thru Friday, because we’re not allowed to use the internet for fun at my job and you won’t find any comments from me here during that time frame.

      That’s what the little numbers at the bottom of the comment box are for…so you don’t say stupid shit like that.

      Besides, it’s never considered work when you’re doing what you love! ;-)

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Busted Kate

    I love the exuberant use of the !! It really demonstrates how sincerely excited she is !! to be sharing $25!!

    I wonder if she showed the card to her roommate for thoughts…

    Dec 18, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Critical Grass bang

    Sandy’s roommate was playing an elaborate (not really) joke on both Sandy and her parents. Her master plan was to get the card before Sandy and keep whatever amount of money he parents sent. But the whole thing fell apart when she found out she had only gotten $100 from her folks, $25 less than than Sandy got. $100 isn’t enough to pay for therapy.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 8:49 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   jjjj

    Wealthy people! Thats’ more than I got in total! (though commenters seem to think it says $25, it says $125, right?

    Dec 18, 2009 at 9:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Beanster bang

      if people i barely knew gave me 125 bucks, or even 25 bucks, i’d keep this note in my scrapbook, not saving it for ridicule.

      that being said, please continue sending in your notes for ridicule.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:34 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Critical Grass bang

      $25?! Luxury!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 10:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   jetjackson bang

      Depends on the country and whether or not the $ symbol has two lines through it or one… Maybe Sandy’s flatmate knew all along that the parents would send money. So they intercepted the card and knicked off with the other hundred.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   park rose bang

      Double j, Double j,

      I swear that kerry didn’t have that p.s. up before! I think that’s the only way to know for sure that it was $25.oo

      beans, I’m totally with you. I can’t understand her motivation for sending it in,
      I guess it’s a case of a poor girl (or not) whose intentions were good,
      and, Lord, she got misunderstood,
      therefore embarrassed? therefore angry? therefore PAN was the perfect forum?

      That’s why I said above, if the thought of receiving $25 bothers you so much, and the realisation that crossing your own best intentions to please kooky roommate put you in an uncomfortable position, just give the money to a worthy cause…like, ahem… got a pen? … my address is…

      Okay… and now I realise there are three and my reading skills are not good, as written below, but, if it was 2003…I’m a willing recipient, really.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 5:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Palomon bang

      Four “J’s”?
      Luxury.
      In my day we had only eleven letters in the alphabet. We only had “G” and we were grateful for it!

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      In my day we didn’t have letters in the alphabet, we had sticks and rocks. We were glad to have them too.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 10:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   infant tyrone bang

      Letters ? Huh!
      Sticks and rocks ? Sci-fi stuff of dreams !

      No, us* pre-stone-agers had nothin’ but our fingers and toes…and ya couldn’t even count on *them* every day…

      *Don’t bother with the we, we, we little piggies stuff either.
      We learned grammar before there was a nominative case.
      It was objective 24/7, you against the world…a bloody jungle ’twas.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 10:45 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   Geek Goddess

      We useta dream of having fingers and toes.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 1:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   infant tyrone bang

      Ooooh, taut I recon-ized you from da ole naybahood…
      Cownah of Stromatolite St. and Rodinia Ave., am I right?
      Ah, back in da PreCambrian we had it tough, huh ?
      Uphill both ways anywhere ya wint an’ no place ta go anyways…
      Try ta explain it ta kids ‘ese days, fuggEDaboutit !

      So anways, now we got toze, ya wanna get a cuppa cawfee ?
      Maybe go dancin’ someplace, now ‘at we got places?
      Or if ya got plans, ‘at’s OK, no like volcanic pressha, y’know ?
      I mean like, I can wait, y’know…real ole skool patient heah…

      Dec 19, 2009 at 2:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.10   Geek Goddess

      Ya gotta promise ya won’t step on m’toze.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 2:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.11   infant tyrone bang

      I’ve been thinkin’ an’ readin’.
      In case your editing extends past cuttin’ ‘n’ pastin’
      to include croppin’ (other than pic’s),
      it’s probly best if you leave that quirt, um, behind.
      I can stay calm beside your inner and outer radiances,
      but the sheen on that leather might do more than tilt my gyros…
      Nice fit on the jodhpurs, too…definitely no need to switch *them* out.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 3:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   infant tyrone bang

    Whether the cats’re (plural, contracted) alive or dead*,
    Sandy,
    thanking her kooky ex-roomie “A” for the money and more,
    puts that cash together with the dough she got from her parents,
    and gives it to her BF Josh, who survived freshman year (and Sandy).

    Oh, there’s sophomore hijinx too…sure you want it? really??

    *see #4.6 or so for details

    Dec 18, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Nick Noehm

      The Catholic Church frowns on this use of the abbreviation “BF”, as it may cause confusion among the clergy.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 5:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   infant tyrone bang

      Per “Decoding Catholicism: Lingual Lessons from a Rouge (sic) Priest”…

      “confusion” = endocrine tsunami + uncontrollable arousal

      They’re a right frowny bunch when the bottom line is on the line.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   NGS

    I don’t understand the confusion over the name spelling. If she sent an announcement, presumable her name (spelled correctly!) was on it, right?

    Dec 18, 2009 at 10:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Nick Noehm

      Absolutle right.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 1:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   infant tyrone bang

      We know her as Sandy.
      Her original, legal name is Sandra or some variant of Sandra.
      That’s what the card says, Sandra.
      So you know her name sounds like a sandy beach, but it can be spelled Sandy or Sandi or even Sandee. You met her once for a few hours.
      They took a chance, and they got it right. EOS

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   shwonline bang

    Really? You’re name is spelled “Sand_7″?

    Dec 18, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Critical Grass bang

      Sandii.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 11:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Critical Grass bang

      Sandie.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 12:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   oi bang

      sandoe

      Dec 18, 2009 at 12:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Critical Grass bang

      Sandwii

      Dec 18, 2009 at 12:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Mo® bang

      Zahndee

      Dec 18, 2009 at 1:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   aaa bang

      S&-e

      Dec 18, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Jess Sain

      Maybe they thought SanDeE* lived in LA.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 1:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   park rose bang

      Can’t you see, I’m in misery?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 5:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   infant tyrone bang

      Well the cops finally busted Madame Marie
      for tellin’ fortunes better than they do
      This boardwalk life for me is through
      You know you ought to quit this scene too…

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   Critical Grass bang

      - Hey Sandy girl!
      - What are you talkin’ about? My name is Sean!

      Dec 19, 2009 at 11:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   infant tyrone bang

      Sean Dean !
      of Watergate fame?

      I’m startin’ ta feel like PG…well, the confused part…

      This oughta unconfuse us…
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ314hldal4

      Dec 19, 2009 at 1:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   oi bang

    I don’t understand this mentality at all.
    You go out of the way, gift somebody $125 and then in next breath insult them. Why? What’s the point? I would understand if it was $1 amount. yeah, you obviously wanted to insult someone. but $125? why o why? enlighten me, somebody please!
    I hear it’s $25 then this comment is kinda moot.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 11:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Woman on the Verge bang

    Wait! I speak PAN!

    I hope I spelled your name right = I have no idea who you are.

    A + me + B + $25 came up = Rolling the drunks in the alley and emptying our pockets to collect a grand total of $25.

    So here you go! = Don’t ever contact us again.

    I hope you get money from everybody = Then you won’t invite us to anything else hoping to score more cash.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 1:06 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 2:01 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Jess Sain bang

      sincerely + with love = FOAD

      Dec 18, 2009 at 2:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   pony girl

      Is anyone else fervently hoping that Sandy will send them an engagement announcement when the time comes?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 5:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   infant tyrone bang

      Hey, PG…

      It’s going onto the chalkboard across from my bed where I write reminders for when I kneel down for “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” time.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   clumber

      PG, I’m hoping we’ll all get P+B ‘s address so we can all send announcements regularly!

      Dec 21, 2009 at 9:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   pony girl

      That would be SO cool!

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   aaa bang

    People tend to assume that people are like them. Sandy’s roomie’s Gimme Pig parents naturally assume Sandy is a Gimme Pig like they are.

    I had to learn the hard way that not everyone was and hermaphroditic zombie robot cannibal vegetarian. :c Now I know better about making assumptions.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 1:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Critical Grass bang

      What kind of assumptions, aaa?

      Dec 19, 2009 at 9:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Sandy (the graduated packrat/archeologist, and assumed Gimmie Pig)

    Yes, the present was indeed $25.

    A = roommate
    B = roomie’s dad
    P= roomie’s mom

    Dec 18, 2009 at 2:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Melanie

      Sandy,
      We had a similar situation come up last year when we sent out birth announcements for our second child. We did this because we caught flak from my husband’s side of the family for not sending out birth announcements when our first child was born.

      Fast forward a month or so later and we get a nasty little PAN-bomb in the mail from one of my husband’s aunts (or some other relation, I can’t recall) about what a surprise it was to hear from us because they hadn’t even seen Matt (my husband) in YEARS, yadda yadda yadda. It very much read to me like they thought we were being “gimme pigs.”

      Can’t win for losing, I guess.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 12:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   TippingCows

    Depending on my mood, I’d go as far as to write a polite note stating that their daughter forced me to send them a graduation announcement because she said they’d really be insulted if I didn’t, and I wasn’t sure what to do because “A” had done weird stuff like put dead birds in plastic bags in the fridge and talked about giving autopsies to homeless people. Everyone in the flat thought to send one but since she singled me out, I obliged. I’d sign it with:
    “Thanks for the money, though. I am putting it towards a condo in the Bahamas.
    Sincerely and with Love,
    Sandra
    (that’s right, I am a college graduate now and everyone addresses me by my adult name)”

    Dec 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Jess Sain bang

      Didn’t you mean
      THX
      SANDRA

      Dec 18, 2009 at 2:31 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   park rose bang

      We’re in a festive mood.
      Bring out the Mongolian party hats!
      Bring on the dancing yaks!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Set out the aluminum pole and prepare for the feats of strength..

      Dec 19, 2009 at 10:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   park rose bang

      The Hendersons will all be there…

      Dec 20, 2009 at 3:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   TippingCows

      Jess,

      And thus it all began. Don’t you love when things come full circle?

      Dec 20, 2009 at 3:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   Geek Goddess

      And of course Henry the Horse dances the waltz

      Dec 20, 2009 at 4:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   park rose bang

    P: Ooh, we got this graduation announcement.
    B: What do we do with that?
    P: Maybe it’s a bit like that time that Colleen’s daughter had her um… whaddya call it… communion thing.
    B. Ahh, I remember…that holy watchimacallit. Her and all the other girls and boys all dressed up.
    P. Didn’t we give money after that?
    B. Hmm, I think you’re right.
    P. You think that’s expected of us now?
    B. Remember Colleen’s daughter? She looked so pretty, she really raked it in. But, well, you know that prickly Maureen… just a few dollars…my heart bled for her, just like that statue of Jesus.
    P. I know what you’re saying. Do we send some money now? I never know what to do in these situations.
    B. Couldn’t hurt.
    P. How much should we send?
    B. Let me consult the horoscopes… Aries: Here we go… don’t rush into things without thinking… do all things in moderation…
    P. How about $25? I mean, we hardly know her, but she seemed like a very nice girl that time we met her. I’d hate for her to be like Maureen…
    B. Wait, let me look at your stars. Aquarius… go with your first instincts…
    P. How about that flibbertygibbet daughter of ours. What do her stars say?
    B. Do you spell flibbertygibbet with an ‘i’ or a ‘y’?
    P.
    No, no, no. She’s a Sagittarius
    B. ….here it is… Sagittarius…though you often think the only opinion that exists in the world is your own, today is the day to listen to the wisdom of your elders…
    P. That solves it.
    B. $25 it is…
    P. How do you spell her name again?
    B. S-a-n-d-y… or is it i-e…?
    P. I’m going with ‘y’. I hope I got it right. I hope that everyone else gives her a little something. That Maureen, she acts all tough, but I saw her sitting on the curb outside, after all the lemonade and sweets were gone, sobbing her little heart out. Her little white dress was all grubby from the road. Ah, broke my heart it did.
    B. Don’t forget to congratulate her on her holy thingamijiggy
    P. Communion? I think it’s her graduation.
    B. Yeah. Don’t forget to congratulate her on that.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Nick Noehm

      P. (me) What’s wrong with you two? I already wrote the note and sent it.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   park rose bang

      Yeah, I’m covering my butt here because I don’t want to rewrite it and show up my horrendous reading skills…

      A and B is just the old call and response… so this is B and P… ‘A’ has been written in…heh-heh…thank god for eternal edit and ellipses.

      But! Maybe I will go back and change everything… Sorry, Nick.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Nick Noehm

      Your parents’ wedding can’t come soon enough, pr.

      I teared up when I read about prickly Maureen. Her pluckiness reminded me of me. Although I didn’t have a white dress. I do so hope everything turned out alright for her.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   park rose bang

      You mean you didn’t have the white dress at the communion, right, Nick? Later, in the cramped quarters of the confession boxes it was another matter . . . my heart bleeds for you, too.

      Maureen got ordained as a female priest in some offshoot of the Catholic Church, and appeared as the Virgin Mary in the Butcher Boy. She’s doing alright for herself, except for upsetting the pope and the football viewing public. Oh, she changed her name, too.

      Actually, you’re far too quick for me. I’m bowing out.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Geek Goddess

      I think we should all chip in and get Nick a white dress. $25 each? Send it to me, I will take care of it. What size are you Nick? And shall I get you some tights to go with it?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   park rose bang

      Don’t forget the glow-in-the-dark rosary beads.
      Maybe we should up it to $30.00.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   Geek Goddess

      You spell it with a ‘y’. So flybbertygibbet.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   park rose bang

      fhat’s right. fanks, eek. I forgot all about the statue of flybberty.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   Nick Noehm

      Here’s what I was thinking. As we discussed, it’s strictly a comfort thing.

      Please forward excess donations to me so I can accessorize.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   park rose bang

      Hmm, that would make me an accessory before the fact, Nick. I think I’ll just trust the oddess to do the right thing. Cute dress, though. I’m sure the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence would approve.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 8:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   infant tyrone bang

      Here’s a sort of audio ode to the statute of flibberty…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQtSrPQjoqU

      Where do I know this stuff from?

      Dec 19, 2009 at 6:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Aghast

    Absolutely flabbergasted by the comments on here. It appears that people feel that it was: 1) ok for this girl to send relative strangers an announcement, and 2) that she didn’t get enough money from said relative stranger.

    This generation’s “entitlement” issues are really shocking.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Geek Goddess

      Which generation? My (single singular) generation? Sandy’s (possessive) generation? One of the generations (plural) in between?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Jess Sain bang

      ⤹u⤵

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   park rose bang

      Just one question, aghast. Are you a flabbergasted flibbertigibbet?

      I think, even though my reading skills are not up to par, you might want to read ALL of the comments a little more closely. If you care to.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 6:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   oi bang

      but it’s not passiveaggressive as the website’s name promises!

      :roll:

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   anglophile bang

      Ye gods!

      It has just come to my attention that today’s generation has the gall and temerity to actually make jokes about the serious fucking business of graduation announcements!

      You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves!

      And get off my lawn!

      Dec 18, 2009 at 7:52 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   park rose bang

      Were they breastfeeding in public, ‘glo?

      Dec 18, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.7   Canthz_B bang

      I’m Aghast that a college graduate-to-be couldn’t see that the parent was wishing her a windfall (smiley face would have helped a great deal this time), not assuming she was asking for or even expecting moola.
      That, or she’s really saying, “For God’s sake, I know the bad taste that runs in your family!
      I hope those sorry bastards give you cash and not ceramic cows they bought on the Home Shopping Network!”

      I guess it all depends upon your generation how you’d interpret such a note.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.8   pope suburban

      I’m forced to assume that your generation’s reading comprehension skills are really appalling. She mailed these people an announcement because their daughter said they would be insulted if she didn’t. She was, therefore, trying to be polite. Their response implied she was shaking them down for cash. Everyone here is, therefore, taking them to task for their incredibly poor manners. Not to mention that this is a humor blog, and people making jokes ought to be expected. Really, at your age, I’d expect you to know better.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 4:47 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.9   infant tyrone bang

      I’m awfully sorry, I truly missed everything from #24 on.
      I mean who knew (except drag queens and like*, maybe Camille Paglia) that drag queens had their own specialized online shopping sites?

      Y’all’s mileage may vary, but I’d like ta see aghast and papa suburbano here get a room, a legal pad or two, and a coupla sharpies:
      Get together in there, write us some rules for how to maintain the edge on a comedy/humor site, write us some grammatical prescriptions with foolproof examples, and while you’re in a prescriptive mood, write us some damned good prescriptions for our Xmas on the Pharm party.

      We’ll be much obliged, somewhat appreciative, and either a whole lot less or a whole lot more snarky next time ya make an appearance.

      *Any y’all seen a good source for accurate, proper punctuation of the Valspeak dialect ? We’re here for research too, aren’t we ?

      Dec 19, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.10   Canthz_B bang

      Pope, the note can be interpreted either way.
      Chill your holiness. ;-)

      Dec 20, 2009 at 12:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.11   pope suburban

      But…but it was such a *good* chance to snark. Can we call it good if I mail what’s-his-name $25 for choosing to make fun of him instead of choosing to think he’s joking?

      Dec 24, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.12   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, pope. I deleted that comment (at least I requested that it be deleted) after I realized where you were aiming.
      Don’t know why it’s still there.

      Dec 24, 2009 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Fanboy Wife

    It’s funny that she actually got some money from strangers. That $25 is more than I got when I graduated from college!

    Dec 18, 2009 at 8:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Canthz_B bang

      My parents bought me a car when I graduated.

      I had to buy the Hot Wheels® tracks myself though.

      Dec 18, 2009 at 11:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    Those parents must have been small business owners.
    In 2003 the federal minimum wage was $5.15/hr.
    If they spent just under 5 hours with their daughter and Sandy, they gave her proper compensation under the law.

    Dec 18, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Palomon bang

    Dear P and J-
    I’m taking my recently earned degree and heading to a monastery. There, I will take a vow of poverty. So I’m sending you the $25 back.
    I will be busy making jam. I will send you some. You can eat it.
    God Bless
    Sister Sandey

    Dec 19, 2009 at 12:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   infant tyrone bang

      P.S. The living equipment at the monastery is very rustic, but we do have rubberized mattress protectors, so I am making a combination vow of:
      a) collecting as much sloughed off skin as I can gather each month, and,
      b) sending it to you in clusters of eight pieces, so you can
      *BYTE ME.

      .
      ..

      * Thanks to PG…apologies to Wm. Gibson + Chris Carter
      ** Thanks to my pal (I think), Palomon, of course, for the set-up.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 10:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Trade strategies

    How do I get into a money society like Japan created to meet all money and financial needs?

    Dec 19, 2009 at 1:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   park rose bang

      Well, you could insert a semi-colon or a comma after “Japan”, or after “created” depending upon your intention. Though I would tend to favour its placement after “Japan”. Then your sentence might make more sense, and you could get a job teaching English, and work your way up from there. Good luck!!! I hope that you receive as much encouragement from others.

      Dec 19, 2009 at 9:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   infant tyrone bang

      rose,
      #5 was my pleasure, since it opens up….

      To quote Alan Arkin’s character (Lt. Rozanov) in 1966′s
      “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming”:

      “Emergency, emergency…everybody to get from beach!”

      We needed (maybe yet) a new cult movie, y’know ?

      Dec 19, 2009 at 3:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     

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