Stuff this in your stocking, sister.

December 20th, 2009 · 131 comments

Gift-giving is what makes Christmas the passive-aggressive’s favorite time of year. It’s a priceless opportunity to show your friends and family how you really feel about them…with a bow on top!

These notecards are for writing nice notes to your sisters

A gift of organization for your un-organized soul

related: putting the “x” in “x-mas”

FILED UNDER: Christmas · family · holiday spirit


131 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Havingfitz

    I’m offended! My Saul happens to be very organized! *hugs Saul* Shhh, don’t cry.

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:22 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   park rose bang

      Don’t you mean, for your un-converted, heathen Saul?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:49 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   infant tyrone bang

      You mean Saul of Tarsus* ?

      Well…

      Like a missed PAT lumen large…a flash in the PAN
      Say anything about it, you’re in trouble with the man
      Let the midnight special, shine her light on me
      Let the midnight special, shine her ever-loving light on me

      Say what you will…Kick my feet on down the pike,
      But I never metatarsal that I didn’t like.

      .
      .
      .
      * Hope Attila didn’t change his name to Saul.
      What an awkward retrohistory loop that would make.
      But he could do bitchin’ 7-up commercials.
      Hi y’all, Atilla the Hun here for the *un*-cola !

      Dec 21, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   se

      if you are seeing this as Saul, shouldn’t you actually be seeing it as Sail?

      of course, written before I saw 5.1…..
      next time, read ALL replies…

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   mamason bang

      “Saul, Saul! Why dost thou not better organize thyself?”

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:30 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Um, excuse me, but Saul was a prophet. He has no need of a calendar. He knows what’s coming and it ain’t worth writing down.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   park rose bang

      Especially since he took that vow of celibacy, and insisted that everyone else attempt to do the same… everyone else being men… women didn’t really count.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   infant tyrone bang

      rose´,
      Don’t kid yourself. Paul was a tax-man. He recognized the value of women in producing more marks/customers/victims.
      But after being Knocked Off His Ass (as opposed to being knocked *on* it) he had a paradigm shift, and kids became the problem, not women.

      I’m sure you can research this and extend it or fire retro-rockets if you find info going counter, but I think the character called only “Saint” in Gore Vidal’s “Live from Golgotha” deserves only our best efforts…
      and I fervently hope you agree.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   park rose bang

      Ah well, the taxman and mother superior all on the one page – guess you’ve got to admit it’s getting better.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   infant tyrone bang

      couldn’t get much worse, verily…

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   zenvelo

    where are the note cards for writing snarky notes to my sisters? and why didn’t you address them?

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:24 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   snarky

      And put the postage on them too. You’re the one who wants me to write.

      Dec 20, 2009 at 11:41 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   mystic_eye_cda

      Seriously if you need really nice note paper to write your sister what’s left for people you want to be special/formal when you write to????

      And in my family snark=love

      Dec 21, 2009 at 8:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   infant tyrone bang

      You’re old enough to get this:

      For those special recipients (or correspondents) you must use what one Letter to the Editor at Rolling Stone speculated that Ralph Steadman used when illustrating articles written by Hunter Thompson….blood clots !

      I mean, if you’ve got the right ink, just about any paper will do…

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    I can’t think of a single nice thing to write to Sister Mary Catherine or Sister Theresa, but is it too late to try to get Sister Rochelle’s phone number?
    Do I have a Revelation for her!

    Behold the black horse, Baby!
    And she that sat on him had a pair of balls in her hand!

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:32 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Havingfitz

      I had Sister Ann Rose. Anything I could think of to say to her would probably get me arrested. (Creepy old bat)

      Dec 20, 2009 at 10:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I haven’t written to Sister Mary Elephant in many years…perhaps I should.

      Dec 20, 2009 at 11:22 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Palomon bang

      WAAAKE UUP!

      Dec 20, 2009 at 11:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Geek Goddess

      Little Baby Damien? Is that you?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Kudos to rilla and palomon for the lovely Cheech and Chong reference! You have both been thumbed !

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   infant tyrone bang

      Wow…

      “Un-bridled Pushin’”
      Sister Rochelle with the cowgirl-reverse-reacharound
      Traded her Sybian for The Nubian
      Alass, she’ll ne’er return to us now
      (Careful she doesn’t pummel your pommel)

      “To Serve and Project”
      Mind the reigns, proud Steed
      Emma’ll let you finish, she ain’t no tribad
      But how Kanye ever lose track of
      Just who’s sovereign in your dyad

      Dec 21, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Canthz_B bang

      Wow, ty, now I want a two-horse team hitched to my buck-board!

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   YONZ!

      IT, your posts sometimes annot me. Well most of the time. Care to guess why?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Canthz_B bang

      Not until after we get a definition of “annot”.

      Here’s an idea…try commenting about the posted note before you try to sink your teeth into someone.

      There’s a good little troll.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   infant tyrone bang

      CB, (Camden Buckaroo?)

      Well, these are the kinds of wants that usually require a Specialized Santa.
      You might get lucky this time of year and hook up with a team of sisters standing in line for the Regular Santa at your local mall, but if you do the math…it’ll have to be a trio if you want to hitch up with a team of two (somebody’s gotta drive all the younguns home [or somewhere] while you and the dynamic duo deck the halls and such). And what are the odds of that in a country of only 300 million or so?

      Maybe slim, Slim, but who better than U to take advantage of the Season?

      I’ll just bet there’s somebody on your list that, if you haven’t flat-out forgotten them, could use an extra stocking stuffer or two. Onward!

      I can hear the PA in my mind already…
      Paging Mr. CB…clean up at Santa’s Workshop !

      Dude, it’s an omen…don’t wait for a star.., be one! Go nova, get pix…

      ty

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   park rose bang

      Kind of keeping in with the feeling of the note; ‘anoint‘ him(?) It’s a compliment. Actually, it’s kind of like the stationery for writing good thoughts, and the stationery for writing bad thoughts… you can take your pick.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   infant tyrone bang

      rose,
      If y’all keep me busy with self-annotating replies to my PAN colleagues, Imma never get around to feedin’ this monkey (Jones) on my back.

      Actually, m’deah, I had thought of “annot” as annoint w/o the “in”, and was tumbling ideas around my mental drum like semi-precious stones in the process of being polished.

      Having noted that my earlier ‘oeuvre du jour’ was replete (if not rampant) with images of fluids under pressure seeking and attaining release, I was nearly to the point of crafting a terse (maybe not quite ‘terse’) reply to advise the alien being of my Seasonal status as a human chrismatory for sacred, lubricious lubricants and to inquire as to which of its orifices, joints, or surfaces would best benefit from application of same.

      But then your #3.11 reminded me that “anoint” is spelled with but two, non-collocated “n”s…alas, best laid plans and all that other Steinbeck jazz.

      So, I’m in a dither as to what to do, y’know ?
      Answer with a broadside ?
      Let this missive to you serve as an oblique response ?
      PxP en passant as it were, were we on the lucky 8×8 chessboard.

      And if directly, with the good angel, the bad angel, both, or the agnostic ?
      The pressure to get an Aquinas-like balance is like…well, it’s pressing.

      I think for now I’ll just answer bluntly but beigely. Stay tuned.

      Thanks for listening. Grade yourself if you got this far.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.13   infant tyrone bang

      Attn: YONZ! (aka IONS, EYE-ONS, IOWNZ, IPWNS, etc., ad naus.)
      Ref: SWAG (Scientific Wild-Assed Guess)

      “How do I annot thee? Let me enumerate the modalities.”
      Can you identify the author, title, or original verse? Two out of three? Without using a computer ? Gamble your allowance on it ?

      “And my best friend, my drummer, won’t even tell me what it is I’ve dropped.”
      With no resources other than what’s in your meatspace cranium, at 10-1 odds, would you be willing to risk $10 that you can recite the original lyric, author, and title for the above parody/homage version in 60 seconds?

      If not, then you are not part of the subset of humans or Turing machines who constitute my “target audience”. Remember, even if you only get 1 out of 10, you’re up $10 for every 10 you play. Two out of 10 and you’re banking serious coin…But still no go, huh ?

      So here’s my guess, you’d like to play, or to argue, or to stylishly dump on what’s in the box under my handle…but, you don’t have a big enough database of factual stuff to buy into the game, or to back up your argument, or to withstand a verbal thermonuclear exchange that,
      although unlikely to occur, is not impossible.

      See, if we still had westerns as an active genre, I could call you the Kid Coming into Town to Make or Break His Bones Against the Old Gun.
      I think I understand your situation, and I know I understand mine. What you probably haven’t put into perspective is that the Kid and Old Gun are just a couple of text-based toons drawn (Draw!) by me and you and that I don’t have a problem closing down my toon based on boredom, even if it’s faked to cover embarrassment at being outgunned. How could you know ? Why would I care if you did ?

      So, that’s my guess…feel encouraged to tell me if it’s close at all and to tell me your version if I’m way off the mark.
      If you don’t reply I’ll, y’know, chalk it up to your being, well, bored… :-(

      ty

      P.S. If you register (little area by the comment box at bottom) then you can edit out or change things like “annot” hours, even days, later. :-)

      Dec 21, 2009 at 11:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.14   Canthz_B bang

      Multiple thumbs, ty. Let me count the ways! :-)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:14 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.15   anglophile bang

      Aw, man! I totally get question one, ace it all the way, could probably even date it for you, but I have no idea about question two. Now I don’t know if I should read ty’s posts or not. :?

      (sorry for butting in, but I love taking quizzes)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.16   infant tyrone bang

      No time for clever twisted hints about a tiny lad’s travails…

      When you’re lost in the rain in Juarez
      and it’s Eastertime too

      if blank JFG those 2 lines

      Glo’,
      Since you got 1 out of 2, you’d be making good $$ on this quiz, which is why you’re now banned from playing for money. But please keep reading and playing along on the home version…couldn’t do it with out you.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.17   YONZ!

      Aw dang! Should check the replys to the comments I post shortly after at least sometimes.

      I read until I saw the time limit for the game (didnt know the reference, unfortunatley).

      I just want to share the fact with you that I am very happy. I saw the edit button.

      Dec 24, 2009 at 12:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.18   YONZ!

      Lol priceless post as well.

      Dec 24, 2009 at 12:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.19   infant tyrone bang

      I think that was a compliment…but in case you need to save face with a crew, I won’t push it.

      Glad you found the edit button. Happy that you’re happy. Don’t get too happy and drive, though.

      Keep coming back/…if you ever want to answer the “Why?” question…this would be a good place…
      Happy/Merry/etc/etc
      ty

      Dec 24, 2009 at 3:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Thanks for the thoughtful gift of an organizer for 2010.
    Unfortunately, here it is June 2010 and I can’t make heads or tails of the disjointed entries I’ve made.
    Next Christmas, please be kind enough to provider me with a Gal Friday.

    A really hot, horny Gal Friday.

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   pony girl

      I’m surprised that you haven’t been inundated with resumes.

      Especially in this economy.

      So, would you pay relocation expenses?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 11:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’ll even pay dislocation expenses (I like it rough).

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:44 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Because, really, it’s all about location…

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   park rose bang

      Amen, sister.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Since when is the United Nations involved in soul organizing?
    Hell, they already suck at peace-keeping, who wants them messing with their ever-lasting soul?

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   catburglar

      I believe that’s UN-organized sails. The UN has been providing badly needed sails to those in need of sails since the onset of the 70′s, when everyone in search of themselves was broadly encouraged to buy a cheap wooden boat and to sail around around until they had a clue.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 12:08 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   crumplet bang

    Clearly passive-agressive notes are best written on Post-it© notes

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:45 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   crumplet bang

    Use notepad to write nice notes to Sister Teresa so she can save my unorganized soul

    Dec 20, 2009 at 10:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   infant tyrone bang

      Don’t know why you’d want to demote your mama,
      unless your ultimate goal is to promote your sister.

      If your soul’s that un-organ-ized, just scrap the X-Box request and ask Santa for the two playmates for your Appalachian Hoedown fantasy.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 9:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   debkatz

    The post-it notes give some perspective to how really tiny those notes are for the sisters…even the gift-giver realizes there isn’t that much to say that’s really “nice” about those girls….I’m worried! No one likes those girls. I hope they include a pretty hanky to wipe away their tears *sniff* And don’t get me started on Saul-he’ll just lose that book!

    Dec 20, 2009 at 11:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   park rose bang

      That’s what happens when you get clocked by lightning and take a tumble from your donkey/mule – not only do you lose all your worldly possessions, but your organisational skills are fried.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    These note cards are for writing nice notes to your sisters. A + me + B talked about what to do and note cards came up. So here you go. I hope you get note cards from everybody!

    Dec 20, 2009 at 11:12 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   debkatz

    Let’s pass notes back and forth in study hall! That just never gets old…

    Dec 20, 2009 at 11:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Palomon bang

    Thanks for the nice note writing cards.
    They look a lot like the ones I was gonna wipe my ass with, but you know, cardboard. It’s John Wayne paper- rough and tough and doesn’t shit off no one.
    So I’ll line the birdcage with them.

    Dec 20, 2009 at 11:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   jetjackson bang

    Wtf? This came up in your RSS feed?

    You might want to edit out that email out of courtesy so that no more people get it than already have on the rss…

    Dec 21, 2009 at 12:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    So you posted this on a public board rather than using the contact the person in charge link to help keep it private?

    Never been accused of being the brightest bulb in the box, huh?

    Dec 21, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   jetjackson bang

    Note-writing rule #24

    If you get to the end of a line and there is only space for 2 letters… Don’t start a word with 11 letters!

    Dec 21, 2009 at 12:23 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Canthz_B bang

      “Dis-” is correct!

      Dec 21, 2009 at 12:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   jetjackson bang

      Were you about to say “Disturb”?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 8:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   jetjackson bang

    Something tells me we are going to be seeing that ‘a note from Shirley’ notepaper again real soon!

    Dec 21, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Flaboy2425

    One sister will get notes on these cards, the other sister will get used toilet paper.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 12:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    ♫ These cards are made for writing,
    Nice notes, your sisters to.
    Write those nice notes right now,
    Or these cards will write upon you! ♫

    Dec 21, 2009 at 1:51 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Geek Goddess

      I have some nice cards boots, with 4 inch heels, that lace up to above the knee. They weren’t from my sister, though.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   kureshii bang

      “These humans are for writing nice notes to sisters?”

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Mo® bang

      :shock: I am picturing you wearing latex with said boots.
      I ♥ the eek oddess

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Geek Goddess

      You can picture me wearing whatever you like, Mo®, this is the internets, and it works really well that way.

      *leaves keyboard for a few minutes to change out of ratty tshirt*

      Dec 21, 2009 at 4:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Latex? Really? Mo, I thought you were into leather… I mean when I wear my boots, you like that black leather… oh, never mind.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   pony girl bang

      *crosses Mo off of list of potentials, due to latex allergy. sigh.*

      Dec 22, 2009 at 10:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   kureshii

    “When you organize, the right must not know what the left is doing, and my Father will see all the organizing you have done in secret, and your reward will be great in (the impeccably organized) Heaven.”

    Dec 21, 2009 at 2:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   hootie McBoob

    DISorganised …or DISorganized (if you’re North American)

    Dec 21, 2009 at 5:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Gavin

      I have stared at your response and am wondering why DIS is capitalized while the emphasis should be on the z and s? just a thought.

      Plus I’m pretty sure both Americans in the south and north use z’s, not just Northerners… I’m struggling to fathom who the other “Americans are”, I’m pretty sure I’ve never met a South American, west or east… :X

      /end pickiness/

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   park rose bang

      Gav, look at CB’s comment way up. Disorganised rather than unorganised. Though I think I use both, probably incorrectly.

      North American to cover those from the U.S. and Canada… and others from the North American continent.

      Dis or Un? according to Oxford.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   anglophile bang

      It’s the un that takes the sting away. I mean no one could be offended by being told in a friendly way that one is merely unorganized, could one?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   pony girl bang

      17.3,

      major deja vous, how weird.

      don’t recall ever having deja vous from the written word.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 8:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   infant tyrone bang

      glo’,

      No one, indeed.
      Not I, certainly.

      Anglicans (e’en Episcopalians) get my blood in such a froth
      ‘Til far, far more than my Upper Lip ruts in a PledgED* trough

      * 2 syllables here…like al-ledg-ed when it’s the 3 syllable version

      Dec 21, 2009 at 10:24 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   Canthz_B bang

      So, per Oxford, in this case it should be “disorganized” since the gift was a daily planner, meaning that the gift-giver thinks the person is unable (disable, hee hee) to plan their activities in an efficient manner.

      Then again, they used a ‘z’ not an ‘s’, so this could be from Oxford, Mississippi, in which case I wouldn’t put too much faith in it! :-)

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   park rose bang

      Heh-heh… CB. The button on the top right did say U.S. Oxford, but, it didn’t say whether is was Northern, Southern, Eastern or Western… you know how it goes ;)

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   pony girl

    PFFffftt. Amateurs.
    Wish I’d saved it, but I actually burned it.
    It being a book that my mom gave to me for christmas, the first christmas after my divorce.

    It was a self-help book that explained why men leave and how to prevent them from leaving. My mom had very helpfully highlighted certain passages showing me where I had failed and added little notes on how I might do better next time.

    I wish I were kidding.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 7:06 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Mo® bang

      uh WOW! :???:
      There should be a book about how to make bad spouses disappear completely and sooner.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   anglophile bang

      You moved very far away from your mom, right, pg?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   pony girl bang

      18.2,

      5000 miles away

      Dec 21, 2009 at 8:05 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   infant tyrone bang

      Dear Mo,

      Novel = Patricia Highsmiths “Strangers on a Train”
      Film = Hitchcock’s “Strangers on a Train”

      Dear PG,

      Sorry, don’t have anything on Mothers.
      Will keep an eye open, just for you.
      Hope the song helps, too.

      Merry Xmas Y’all
      ty

      Dec 21, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   infant tyrone bang

      But me, I expected it to happen,
      I knew she’d lost control
      When she built a fire on Main Street
      And shot it full of holes

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMgCYbtWjv0

      Dec 21, 2009 at 12:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Canthz_B bang

      PG, your mom gave you a fellatio manual? 8-O

      She’s one cool babe! :-D

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   Geek Goddess

      Ty, to go with the train theme, we can always include Throw Momma From the Train.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   Geek Goddess

      Why Men Leave, and How to Prevent Them From Leaving

      Ch. 1 101 hiding places for their car keys

      Ch. 2 How to nail their shoes to the floor

      Ch. 3 Stocking the fridge with beer (lots of beer)

      Ch. 4 Don’t undo the handcuffs right away

      Let me guess, pg, you didn’t nail his shoes to the floor, because it is too hard to handle a hammer when you have pony hooves instead of opposable thumbs.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.9   park rose bang

      Sorry… this comment is all out of place.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.10   infant tyrone bang

      GG,
      Hammers for Ponies?…new biz oppty?…no, wait…
      A pony could just whack/stomp/tamp down on the nail, no?
      So, the nail’s the problem…not the hammer.
      Hardware is not the answer.
      Clearly a new software asset is needed.

      “Hip-gnosis for Ponies”
      Ch. 6a What to say to get a man to hold a nail where you want it.
      Ch. 6b What to say to get a man to hold his nail where you want it.
      First things first, no?

      With the right marketing push, this could balance the advantage men currently have with Saul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.11   Geek Goddess

      Rose, go straight to the dungeon…

      Oops, my bad, Rose, I thought you said that you misplaced a comma.

      Sorry, I will send myself to the dungeon now.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.12   park rose bang

      I’ll be waiting… ;)

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.13   infant tyrone bang

      GG,
      Mind the stairs with those heels, wouldja ?
      Y’know, when someone off-stage yelled out, “Why don’t the two of yuz just get a room?”, I was thinkin’ Howard Johnson’s, maybe even a Radisson…
      but this place down here is so…BIG…and all of this…well, you’ve got lots more than just a coffee maker, hair dryer, and iron here. Carry on ! ;-)

      Dec 21, 2009 at 11:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.14   Geek Goddess

      The more the merrier, Ty, and we can fit quite a crowd here in a pinch.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.15   infant tyrone bang

      Well, pinch me to see if I’m dreamin’, huh?
      I’m not one to invite myself into what looks to be an even-numbered scenario, but I won’t leave an earnest cupcake hostess in the position of having to ask, “Oh, well, maybe next time?”

      Well, it’s your fire drill, just tell us where you want us…who carries the class sign, who totes the first-aid (?) kit, etc. For what it’s worth, I can provide a fairly rigid exemplar of a straight line…if you need orthogonality but managed to leave all the straight-edges back in the *classroom*…

      I’ll leave it to you to continue if it amuses you…
      In tennis terms, advantage GG…go ahead, deliver a service ace!
      That would make it D-istress, game, set, and match.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.16   pony girl

      The parts she highlighted weren’t even applicable, neither were the notes.
      My family is just weird.

      ps-
      Three years after our divorce, my ex was invited to my brother’s 2nd wedding. I was on the mainland and couldn’t afford to fly back, so wasn’t even sent an invite.

      pps- my mom kindly sent me a few photos of my ex at the reception.

      Yup. No issues there. None.

      ;)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.17   Geek Goddess

      The only thing that would make the whole wedding story better, pg, would be if your brother’s second marriage was to someone named Alanis.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.18   infant tyrone bang

      Are y’all sure your Mom wasn’t/isn’t harboring some ‘complicated sentiments’ about your ex ? It’s kind of old-school-tabloid material (or present-day Springer stuff), but weird stuff happens in weird families.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.19   pony girl bang

      Ty,
      no.
      eeew.
      No, she’s just a psycho.

      ps
      eeew

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.20   infant tyrone bang

      Sorry that” she’s a psycho” is the good news, but it’s good, because I think 7,500 miles is the minimum recommended separation in such cases.

      You’d have to relocate and you just got the window caulked + all. Phew.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 10:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Woman on the Verge bang

    Dear Mom,

    I am using one of the note cards you so thoughtfully gave to me to write to you instead of my sisters. Of course, killing a tree and littering our landfill with the plastic used in the packaging is just a side benefit.

    I thought you should know that my sisters and I communicate online. You know, on the computer, by facebooking, tweeting, and of course by texting via cell phone. We have actually entered this century.

    Enclosed are the rest of the dead tree bits you sent. I simply cannot condone your willful acts of aggression against nature.

    Love,

    Shirley

    Dec 21, 2009 at 7:25 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   angb78 bang

    First note.
    Dear Sisters,
    You’re all bitches.
    Love,
    Me

    Dec 21, 2009 at 7:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   infant tyrone bang

      If the letters ‘neath the Post-it = “Ma”, then your note is true literally.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 10:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   adam

    Both of these notes were written with love. Nothing wrong here.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   pony girl bang

      Maybe, maybe not.
      There have been many atrocities committed in the name of love, however.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 8:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   oi bang

      Look if he says nothing is wrong there then nothing is wrong. alright?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 10:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   infant tyrone bang

      Adam,
      Many would agree in a heartbeat these notes are full of good intentions.
      But the love’s nature, especially on the ‘sisters’ note, gives many pause.

      Sincerely (but also as a set-up for a Hell of a nice tune),
      ty

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG84p9dfV00

      Dec 21, 2009 at 10:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   anglophile bang

      adam, do you have any sisters?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 11:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   adam

      One sister, she’s 3 years older.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 1:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   anglophile bang

      Ever get a post-it note from her?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   adam

      Perhaps, 25 years is a long time. What are you getting at?

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   anglophile bang

      You’re like, the ultimate straight man, aren’t you adam?

      Post-It notes from sisters attached to gifts given to urge you to do something you don’t do (write notes to your sister, organize yourself) may be written with love, but they are also written in the hope that you will change your ways. Instead of just loving your unorganized, non-note writing self, sisters write post-it notes in the hopes that you will improve yourself on their terms.

      I know, I have two myself.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 2:52 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   Canthz_B bang

      Amen, sister!

      Wanna take mine off my hands?

      Mine wrote me a letter once explaining that:

      1) Only use my bathroom in case of emergency.
      2) There are no emergencies!

      God love her, ’cause I’m having trouble with that.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   adam

      Even my hair is straight!

      But I hear ya. I feel like little things like this can be taken as nagging, but also show that they care.

      Like the notes, they want to hear from you more.

      The Organizer, that one I feel is more of a joke than anything else. Like if someones always late, you get them an alarm clock.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 3:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   anglophile bang

      Oh, yes, joke gifts, ha ha.

      Like giving a bald man a shampoo gift basket, huh?

      Funny!

      Dec 21, 2009 at 4:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.12   Canthz_B bang

      Adam, you’re a really nice guy with an optimist’s eye.

      I envy you and hope you never become a jaded fuck like me. :-D

      Dec 21, 2009 at 4:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.13   Adam

      Lol at the bald guy gift. That makes for some great holiday laughter, as long as you get him something awesome to go along with it.

      CB your joke gift is rose colored glasses, that would probably take you from jaded to normal.

      Hmm, guess thats not so much of a joke. Though, I think jaded suits you well.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.14   Canthz_B bang

      Thanks for the glasses, I was being serious by the way.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.15   oi bang

      Excuse me Adam while I dab my eyes and clear the throat. You see I have overcome with emotions hearing your kind words. Nobody is evil. It’s old good nice world. Terrorist, pollution, PA insults, robbery homicides are just elaborate fancy jokes oi!, as long they are accompanied with something awesome they are hilarious.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.16   park rose bang

      PG, were you referring to:
      Stop, in the name of love, before you break my heart

      or

      In the name of love. What more in the name of love?

      or anything at all that Phil Collins/ Lionel Richie recorded. I was going to say caterwauled – but I don’t think their blandness even stretches that far – Even so, I think I would term their tunes as songs that make your ears bleed, and put your teeth on edge. Love hurts, indeed, especially if you’re dancing on the ceiling and you happen to fall.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 5:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.17   Woman on the Verge bang

      And again you prove yourself worthy of my love, rose. Consider yourself soundly thumbed.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.18   infant tyrone bang

      rose,

      U2 Brute´ ?
      Not that I loved, Cæsar less,
      but that I loved Rome more…
      what amore´…
      in the name of love.

      I’ve done the blues, the reds, and the pinks
      and I can follow your bloody audio pretzel logic.
      Agree on Lionel but I’m kinda soft on Silent Running.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.19   Woman on the Verge bang

      CB, what is a jaded fuck, anyway? I’m trying to picture it… oh… never mind.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 6:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.20   park rose bang

      Jade is extremely lucky in China. Love me some jade. And thanks, WotV.

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.21   pony girl

      Hmm.

      I think I want Adam to be my boyfriend.

      He’d be so sweet.
      He’d take me out to dinner and to baseball/soccer games.
      We’d go to the farmer’s market and then cook dinner together.
      He’d send me flowers.
      He’d probably never spend 14 hours a day playing online computer games and if he did, he’d at least stop when I tried to give him a lap dance in my new lingerie w/ naughty sayings on it.
      He’d never lie to me or cheat on me.
      and when I get cranky he’d be sweet about it.
      Seriously.
      Adam would be the best boyfriend.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.22   pony girl bang

      Rose,

      I was thinking more along the lines of my whole bizarre childhood, but i guess the second one.

      ;)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   me

    oh my.

    Controlling!!! – wrapped up in what appears to others to be; ” good intentions.”

    Dec 21, 2009 at 12:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    Unorganized soul.

    I hate it when the collard greens slop over into the macaroni and cheese compartment in the styrofoam take-out box.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 3:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose bang

      Or when Aretha Franklin and George Michael do a duet together (actually, I like both… but you know, just riffing on the riff).

      Dec 21, 2009 at 7:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Canthz_B bang

      Then you’ll love Brothers’ BBQ in Newark, NJ, rose.
      The food is slammin’, and Aretha and George are on the jukebox jammin’!

      But if you want it down home sloppy but good, ya gotta go to The Chicken Shack…also in Newark…or you can come over to my place! :twisted:

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   pony girl

      what are collard greens anyways?
      I’ve never seen a collard.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   infant tyrone bang

      Collared greens are people who get arrested for using their rubber Zodiac boat to block an oil tanker or for breaking Starbucks’ windows or throwing rocks at a G-7 confereence.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    OMG! I just got a note from Shirley!!

    Oh, never mind, it’s an invitation to a play at the local grammar school.
    Dead ringer though.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 4:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   park rose bang

    Mother Superior knows that happiness is a warm gun. Oh, that and receiving nice notes from your sisters. People need a little reminding sometimes.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 6:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Miati

    Aww, mom. You shouldn’t have.

    No, I really mean it… you shouldn’t have.

    Dec 21, 2009 at 11:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   A Christmas shopping list | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Stuff this in your stocking, sister. [...]

    Dec 20, 2010 at 4:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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