Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”
Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)
related: Living with an adolescent, abridged
136 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
Yes, Mom, life’s a bitch…and so am I.
Deal with it.
Dad says I take after you!
Dec 22, 2009 at 12:46 am rating: 75
#2
debkatz
Dear Mom,
Get a calendar. It’s almost 2010. We stopped relying on our looks decades ago. IQ, looks, and temperament are THREE DIFFERENT THINGS. Kind of like all of your personalities.
Love, me
Dec 22, 2009 at 12:59 am rating: 34
#3
park rose
Pretty girls turn heads (just ask Linda Blair). Maybe she’s asking her daughter not to drive. I think bitching about other’s poor driving is a neither here nor there comment. I wouldn’t take it as negative.
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:00 am rating: 7
#4
Julia
=D
i cant stop smilling reading this one !
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:00 am rating: 0
#5
Canthz_B
I am positive, Mom.
Positive that assholes who don’t know how to use the turn lane shouldn’t be allowed to drive!
PS, have you looked at me lately? I’m just as butt ugly as the rest of our family!
Talk about a face only a mother could love…sheesh!
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:06 am rating: 22
#6
infant tyrone
Something in the Firesign Theater’s double album “Dear Friends” resonates here…something to the effect that modern life is like trying to trap Mars flies in a Klein bottle…net effect, there’s no way to win playing against the house…
Twin barriers to reality/normalcy:
1) Mom relates it to being pretty and you know where you got those genes
2)Yeah, like you’re gonna tell her how ghastly you look, and,
There’s this guy you met (CB) and you’re not sure if Mom can handle that much ‘reality”…
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:08 am rating: 1
#7
honestly!
Sounds to me like ‘pretty girl’ should block her mother on FB and quick!
Problem solved.
If she’s old enough to drive, she’s old enough not to get sugar coated ‘suggestions’ from mom.
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:09 am rating: 7
#8
jetjackson
I think what Mom is really trying to say is;
“Drop the attitude and post a ‘money shot’ or wither away on the shelf!”
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:12 am rating: 22
#9
Meredith
The link about the Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty seems off.
Clearly, you must be an ugly person.
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:12 am rating: 5
#10
Canthz_B
Ya gotta love how Mom starts off all traditional with the “pretty girls are nice girls”, then switches into sailor broad mode with “life’s a bitch”, don’t ya?
Sugar and spice, and screw you twice, mother-fucker…that’s what Mom is made of.
Bless her heart.
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:20 am rating: 43
#11
Ten
Whenever somebody throws out a “pretty girl” comment, I get all frothing at the mouth with anger. I press my lips together and sometimes bite them when I’m nervous or thinking really hard, and my mom once told me to stop doing it because it didn’t make me look pretty. It made me want to kick her. Not hard, because she’s my mom, but, you know.
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:31 am rating: 35
#12
ashmeadow
Clearly her mother is speaking from experience.
“Yes, honey, I was pretty, independent, and a good driver to boot. But the only person who wanted all that was your father, so suck it up.”
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:38 am rating: 12
#13
Palomon
Pretty is as pretty does?
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:53 am rating: 2
#14
Tim Kolb
In Pretty Girl’s defense; there are a lot of asshole drivers in Lexington.
Dec 22, 2009 at 4:04 am rating: 10
#15
HopefulNebula
I’m entirely with the submitter on this one. And if I were that mom, I’d be more worried about my daughter being almost killed by stupid drivers than I would be about her well-justified anger.
Dec 22, 2009 at 4:07 am rating: 13
#16
Woman on the Verge
Mom,
I wish you would stop emailing me about my attitude and looks. It comes off as manipulative and controlling and you’re such a sweet old… oh, wait, never mind, I forgot. You are a manipulative controlling bitch.
Love,
How-pretty-am-I-now?
Dec 22, 2009 at 5:46 am rating: 31
#17
Escape Goat
This is what you get for “Friending” (I hate that term) your mother on FB.
Dec 22, 2009 at 6:20 am rating: 2
#18
Gunderson105
Mom,
Life’s a virgin, a bitch is too easy.
Dec 22, 2009 at 7:35 am rating: 8
#19
Mike
Mom was drawing on some recent research regarding appearance and positive outlook.
Dec 22, 2009 at 7:37 am rating: 1
#20
adam
Wow, never realized this site is basically all girls.
Dec 22, 2009 at 8:02 am rating: 7
#21
laurie
Mom must not know how to properly use turning lanes.
Dec 22, 2009 at 8:11 am rating: 3
#22
JoMama
So if she wasn’t pretty, then she’d have a free pass from mom to be as bitchy as she wanted to be?!
Also, she’s not being mean or ugly or nasty, she’s keeping it real because Lexington drivers SUCK, so stick that where the sun don’t shine, Mom!
Dec 22, 2009 at 8:56 am rating: 2
#23
the Librarian
So Mom thinks pretty girls don’t make nasty comments… Jesus, didn’t she go to junior high?
Dec 22, 2009 at 8:57 am rating: 25
#24
katie
i gotta say, i live in lexington as well and this girl is right about people abusing turning lanes. ain’t nothing nasty about the truth!
Dec 22, 2009 at 9:37 am rating: 5
#25
Miss Shackson if You're Nasty
Sure, I would be livid pissed if my mom wrote this to me (and I should have more sympathy because my mom thinks the answer to almost every problem – need a job, out of money, having a bad day — is for me to lose weight.
That aside, I really like mom. I’d like to hear more from mom. I just imagine her smiling and batting her eyes while saying “Life’s a bitch. Deal with it.”
Maybe I just like her cuz she knows how to punctuate: “And, darling – you’ll never catch a man if you leave that participle hanging out like that!”
Dec 22, 2009 at 10:26 am rating: 4
#26
jjdonkey
This one hits close to home. My parents are my friends on facebook, and God knows I cherish them. But any time one of my other friends swears or posts something a little “Blue” on my wall, they immediately e-mail me to take it down because what if one of their friends from church happened to see that? Is that what I want people to see? They’re also notorious for policing EVERYONE’S wall. My flower girl (now 17) dared to use the f-word in conversation and my father sent her a three paragraph essay on foul language revealing the pain in our hearts that can be healed by jesus.
Facebook: Serious business.
Dec 22, 2009 at 1:17 pm rating: 8
#27
Hmmm
I knew a girl who was so tough that she thought “mother” was only half a word.
Dec 22, 2009 at 2:24 pm rating: 14
#28
Jess Sain
I think the hidden message behind the “pretty girl” reference is that Honey has an ugly attitude. It sounds as if Honey posts negative comments frequently and Mom is tired of hearing her whine about her life.
Dec 22, 2009 at 4:18 pm rating: 1
#29
Online Pharmacy
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Dec 22, 2009 at 5:20 pm rating: 0
#30
TeriAnn
Actually, I like to say..”Life is a virgin because if it was a bitch it would be easy”…. seriously were you easy as a virgin… don’t think so
Dec 22, 2009 at 5:57 pm rating: 1
#31
Athene
Well this may be off topic, or on topic, whichever the case may be…
But I’ve lived in LA, San Fransisco, New York, and Lexington, KY. Trust me the Lexington drivers are practically God-Like in driving ability and mental capacity.
Dec 23, 2009 at 9:01 am rating: 1
#32
Wordtinker doesnt smith
Dear Mom,
Dad’s been cheating with Aunt Helen in your backseat at every holiday meal. Before you get upset please remember that pretty is as pretty does, and a little Goof Off will remove those noxious stains from your upholstery. Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know.
Love,
Honey
Dec 23, 2009 at 10:37 am rating: 4
#33
mystic_eye_cda
Dear Mom,
I wish you wouldn’t send such nasty e-mails. They come off as shallow, judgmental, and mean; the fact that you are so physically unattractive doesn’t make up for it. Family is a bitch, luckily I have friends who understand and respect me and allow me to voice my true, if fleeting, feelings.
Love,
Your Daughter.
Dec 23, 2009 at 5:08 pm rating: 1
#34
Maurs
HOLY SHIT! I go to school in Lexington too, and the first thing I noticed freshman year of college was how horrible Lexingtonians are at driving; most specifically, they can’t use turn lanes! Cut the OP some slack, she’s right.
Dec 26, 2009 at 6:57 pm rating: 1
#35
K
nooo, the note is indeed retarded. okay, yay be positive, but you’re such a pretty girl? way to be shallow. life’s a bitch, and so’s her mom.
Jan 1, 2010 at 12:18 pm rating: 1
#36 Is your blog kid-tested, mother-approved? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] related: Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right. [...]
May 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm rating: 0
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