Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right.

December 21st, 2009 · 136 comments

Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”

Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)

Honey, I wish you wouldn't post such negative comments on Facebook. They come off kind of nasty and you're such a pretty girl.  Life's a bitch and we all have to deal with it so try to be more positive. Love, Mom

related: Living with an adolescent, abridged

FILED UNDER: e-mail · Facebook · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · signed with love · unsolicited feedback


136 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Canthz_B bang

    Yes, Mom, life’s a bitch…and so am I.
    Deal with it.
    Dad says I take after you!

    Dec 22, 2009 at 12:46 am   rating: 79  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   YONZ!

      Oh, Hilarious. Dink.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, YONZ!, didn’t mean to make it too complicated for you.
      I know you hate that sort of thing.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 10:56 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   infant tyrone bang

      :-)

      Dec 23, 2009 at 11:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   YONZ!

      My statement about his abstract comments stands true.

      I see what you did there CB, thats awesome. But you see it wasnt your comment I was in question of. So. I guess. You can. Blow me.

      ty, you liked that, huh? Feeling giddy are we? Someone stood up for you yay! Still disliked, look at the thumbs you recieve.

      Whomever deletes posts, you can eat a fatty as well.

      Its awesome to wake up and be me, tell ya what.

      Wheres my effin coat?

      Dec 23, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   infant tyrone bang

      YONZ!,

      Is it too late for you to answer yesterday’s “Why?”
      Maybe smash a Ritalin, snort half, and write something long and focused?

      If I woke up and part of me felt like I was changing into you,
      then yes, ‘awe’ is a sound that would undoubtedly occur to me,
      both in its original meaning and in its truncated spelling.

      So, “Why?” ?
      ty

      Dec 23, 2009 at 3:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   pony girl bang

      Someone needs to light a fatty.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 4:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Canthz_B bang

      People who masturbate on their coats are strange.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 7:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   infant tyrone bang

      Were it not for dentally based paranoia, I’m sure CB and/or I would be happy to provide brother YONZ! a *chubby* to tokesmoke on.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   YONZ!

      I love you all.

      Dec 24, 2009 at 9:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   jinx

      long and focused. Long and focused. long and focused. bwhahahahaha !
      I never knew you were capable of making a funny statement too.
      oh shit! my tummy hurts!

      Dec 24, 2009 at 10:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   infant tyrone bang

      CB,
      One more reason I’m never gonna work in the dry cleaning biz !

      YONZ! jinx
      Glad you can laugh at someone else’s funnies…
      So, before the lulz glory fades…WHY?
      You gotta have at least a paragraph on it …

      Dec 24, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   jinx

      Huh?!
      are you giving me an assignment? (at least one paragraph on it?!)
      as if.
      If you get it, you get it. If you don’t then well then…try harder.

      Dec 24, 2009 at 12:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   debkatz

    Dear Mom,
    Get a calendar. It’s almost 2010. We stopped relying on our looks decades ago. IQ, looks, and temperament are THREE DIFFERENT THINGS. Kind of like all of your personalities.
    Love, me

    Dec 22, 2009 at 12:59 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   debkatz

      Dear Mom,
      That sounded mean. I must be ugly today. I’m sorry. Love, me.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:02 am   rating: 55  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   a dude

      good luck with that…
      there are still far too many women who still get by on their looks alone without having a shred of intelligence or an ounce or other redeeming qualities. most of them are either Pharm reps or in the “client relations” field.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 10:22 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Borrasca

      I maybe on the pole dude but I got your money in my bank account.

      Don’t be bitter Mom. New Mom and Dad says it makes you ugly.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 10:44 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   park rose bang

    Pretty girls turn heads (just ask Linda Blair). Maybe she’s asking her daughter not to drive. I think bitching about other’s poor driving is a neither here nor there comment. I wouldn’t take it as negative.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:00 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Julia

    =D
    i cant stop smilling reading this one !

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    I am positive, Mom.
    Positive that assholes who don’t know how to use the turn lane shouldn’t be allowed to drive!

    PS, have you looked at me lately? I’m just as butt ugly as the rest of our family!
    Talk about a face only a mother could love…sheesh!

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:06 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Palomon bang

      Do you mean a face book only a mother could love?

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:56 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      wocka wocka!

      Dec 22, 2009 at 10:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   infant tyrone bang

    Something in the Firesign Theater’s double album “Dear Friends” resonates here…something to the effect that modern life is like trying to trap Mars flies in a Klein bottle…net effect, there’s no way to win playing against the house…

    Twin barriers to reality/normalcy:
    1) Mom relates it to being pretty and you know where you got those genes
    2)Yeah, like you’re gonna tell her how ghastly you look, and,

    There’s this guy you met (CB) and you’re not sure if Mom can handle that much ‘reality”…

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Canthz_B bang

      I thought the kids were all into “keeping it real” these days… :???:

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   infant tyrone bang

      Kids…always…if they dig ya…you’re in
      Moms…not so fast

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   YONZ!

      K, CB. Can you see a little bit why I dislike this gu. I mean come on.

      Cum on your face, bagel.

      Burned.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   pony girl

      I’m confused.

      ps
      what deli serves bagels like that?

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Geek Goddess

      FaceBagel: the new social networking bread. Cumming soon to an internet cafe near you.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   YONZ!

      I dislike ty’s posts because of the nebulous references. (maybe im too young)?

      Anyway, I made a comment yesterday underneath one of ty’s post asking if he knew why I disliked his comments in a jaunting way. I simply wanted a “why?” so I could tell him, and ask wtf he was referring to.

      CB not only beat me, but raped me too.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   YONZ!

      What bakery?

      Chesapeake Fagel! ha!

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Jess Sain bang

      Team IT and CB. Yawns is a perfect name for the other nitwit.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   infant tyrone bang

      Oh my! It’s YONZ! Hey there, YONZ!

      Sorry, but I was distracted watching GG whip some o’ that Philly into shape, hoping a little of the dairy product would take a centrifugal jaunt onto something black and shiny (leather, latex, polyvinylchloride, silk, I’m so un-picky…it doesn’t even have to be black) so I could volunteer to…

      So, I guess you’re not bored yet, cuz you’re here.
      I’m mostly off my comedy duo game these days except with folks whose 2nd initial is “G”, so, sorry if I missed my stage cue to say “Why?”

      Seldom embarrassed at being a day late and/or a dollar short, however, here I am and Dang It!, the one thing I most want to know now is “Why?”

      If it’s a vocab thing, I’ll clue you in. If it’s a cultural reference, I’ll do my best to adjust it to fit your knowledge base. Everything I write has some precedent, and in many cases it may be way “older your head” rather than over it, so point to the wtf-inducing thang and I’ll ‘splain it.

      But, problems with CB? Take those up with CB.
      Might want to pack some Astroglide, as it might take a few sessions for y’all to reach any significant level of detente, much less a camaraderie.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:28 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   anglophile bang

      When one asks questions in a jaunting way, is that with your hat set at a rakish angle, or is it from the rumble seat of a roadster, going off for a picnic with Chip and Buffy and the rest of the gang?

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:41 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   park rose bang

      I think Yonz’s comment above is fair. Except for about the bagel, maybe. Maybe I’m too patds to get it.

      Yonz, though, I guess if nebulous comments are hard to get (which they are) – it’s really no surprise that you get a nebulous comment in relpy ;)

      But as ty has told us before, there is a scroll function on the mouse.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.12   infant tyrone bang

      glo’,

      Pass me my straw boater and spats wouldja, Honey?

      And keep that sterling hip flask in your purse.

      I wouldn’t want to get pulled over and frisked by the fuzz and have that fall out…we might spend the night in the hoosegow and miss Gatsby’s bash.

      tata
      ty

      P.S. Wherever did you get that absolutely smashing flapper hat ?

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.13   Jess Sain bang

      Yonz, I wish you wouldn’t post such negative comments on PAN. They come off kind of nasty and you’re such a pretty girl. Life’s a bitch and we all have to deal with it so try to be more positive.
      Love
      Jess

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:25 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.14   infant tyrone bang

      rose,
      I thought it was reasonable on the surface, so I engaged it gently.

      I don’t have a problem with the bagel, but am curious about the provenance or etymology.

      It could be an innocuous sounding code word for ‘gay’. Notice the ‘fagel’. So, if fag > bag > bagel is understood by the local human group (something tells me YONZ! is not of high-school-graduating age yet) to equal gay, queer, etc., they can exchange winks, nudges, and the like openly, all the while having plausible deniability…”For real, teach, we were just talking about lunch.”

      Perhaps, as Jimmy Cliff sang, “Time Will Tell”.

      This is all speculation while waiting a reply from s/he who knows (or Kemo Sabe, to take it back to B&W TV). I’m not saying my correspondent is homophobic, it’s hypothetical in the extremis…why for all I/we know the bagel may represent some Jewish middle-school crew’s attempt to get on a daytime talk show by upping the ante on that old WASP coming-of-age ritual, cream-the-cracker…

      P.S. Thanks for remembering and mentioning the scroll feature.

      Been a long time since I did the Stroll…
      Been a long, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time…

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.15   pony girl

      *is never eating carbs again*

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:01 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.16   Geek Goddess

      *wonders about what to substitute for oats, for pg*

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.17   pony girl bang

      That is a quandry, isn’t it?

      Do apples, carrots and grass have carbs?
      If so, I am screwed.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.18   infant tyrone bang

      @ 6.15 be careful about kissing Jewish fellas, too, just in case I’m right, and WASPS…fuggedaboutit

      @ 6.17 Anything sweet probably has carbs, so, yeah…
      Adam might not, but that would be tough on the whole romance angle, although if he’s read a very early James Tiptree/Alice Sheldon story called “Love is the Plan, The Plan is Death”…well you could explore the idea…

      Face it, you’re up against fat and protein, one of which doesn’t give you protein, so you’re pretty much painted into a corner of flesh, although you can get tofu down to below 3.0 grams of carbs per 100 grams of tofu…
      food for thought I guess.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.19   Borrasca

      *yawn… scroll scroll scroll scroll*

      Dec 22, 2009 at 8:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.20   Canthz_B bang

      I dunno YONZ!, seems kinda stupid to me to go on record saying that you don’t like someone’s comments because you don’t know enough to “get it”.

      Your choices seem to be:
      1) Look it up.
      2) Pass it up.

      But, calling others names because you’re not as well educated as they are?
      I’m sure your parents are proud of you, but I’d give you a time-out for lashing out at others because of your own inadequacies.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:58 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.21   infant tyrone bang

      Overall theme: A
      Main argument: A
      Organization: A+

      Mind the concision, though. No problem on this one, but a few more words and you could come off sounding like that Captain Nebulous guy.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 11:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.22   pony girl

      I may have found the deli: (from overheard in new york)

      Irate Wall Street guy standing in deli: Everything! Everything! I said “everything bagel,” you fucking waste of life. (to other customers in line) He always does that!

      –Beaver & William

      something tells me this guy is getting some cum on his bagel; and spit, and maybe even some poo.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 4:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   honestly!

    Sounds to me like ‘pretty girl’ should block her mother on FB and quick!

    Problem solved.

    If she’s old enough to drive, she’s old enough not to get sugar coated ‘suggestions’ from mom.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:09 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   debkatz

      When I visit my mom, she still tells me where to park, what to eat, and when to put on a coat. She’s 90 freakin’ years old….NINETY!!!!! Some moms just don’t give it up.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Amanda

      I didn’t let my mom be my friend on Facebook… it was nothing personal, I just would rather have my own life. Plus, I’m quite mature for my age and handle things well, but she worries needlessly about so many things she really shouldn’t, I’d rather just save her the stress.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Geek Goddess

      I’m quite mature for my age old, too.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   jetjackson bang

    I think what Mom is really trying to say is;

    “Drop the attitude and post a ‘money shot’ or wither away on the shelf!”

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Meredith

    The link about the Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty seems off.

    Clearly, you must be an ugly person.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   park rose bang

      Strange comment.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   pony girl

      I’m nebulous.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   park rose bang

      Love the Nebula, and some Nebbish bagel. ;) I mean, if that equals Geek Oddess.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 8:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   infant tyrone bang

      Either we’re talking about a different Oddess or a new Sharif’s in town with a new definition of nebbish…well, or you’re blaspheming, but…nah.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    Ya gotta love how Mom starts off all traditional with the “pretty girls are nice girls”, then switches into sailor broad mode with “life’s a bitch”, don’t ya?

    Sugar and spice, and screw you twice, mother-fucker…that’s what Mom is made of.

    Bless her heart.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   pony girl

      Southern moms are a kick.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:49 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Oh Really

      Mom must not be “such a pretty girl” so she can go all sailor blue on her pretty daughter.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 11:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   pony girl

      No, no, she just follows that old momism: “Do as I say, not as I do.”

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   park rose bang

      Damn fucking right!

      Dec 22, 2009 at 8:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Did she at least take the cigarette out of her mouth while she posted, or did the inch and a half long ash dangle precariously over the keyboard.

      Jan 1, 2010 at 9:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Ten

    Whenever somebody throws out a “pretty girl” comment, I get all frothing at the mouth with anger. I press my lips together and sometimes bite them when I’m nervous or thinking really hard, and my mom once told me to stop doing it because it didn’t make me look pretty. It made me want to kick her. Not hard, because she’s my mom, but, you know.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:31 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Canthz_B bang

      Well, eating your own labia in public really isn’t very lady-like, but you’ve sure piqued my interest!

      Now, how can I make you nervous? :-P

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:46 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   debkatz

      “It made me want to kick her. Not hard, because she’s my mom…”. Did you read that in a Hallmark card? I’m serious, this made me laugh really hard!

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Geek Goddess

      You can borrow my boots (4 inch heels, lace up to above the knee) to wear when you kick her, if you like.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 2:02 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Canthz_B bang

      My Mom responds best when I wear the steel-toed work boots.
      I just have to lift my leg now…

      You’ve never seen a 75 year-old mop a floor so fast!!

      GG, did yours come with the matching whip? If so, my address is…

      Dec 22, 2009 at 2:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Gavin

      GG can she borrow your boots for when she does a vid of nibbling her labia, this I’ve got to see ;)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Geek Goddess

      As long as she cleans them before she returns them, I am cool with that. I can make up another clothing item find something else around here to wear in the mean time.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   Geek Goddess

      CB, there is a matching whip, how did you know? And while we are on the subject, I want to have a little ‘chat’ with you about spelling. In particular, peek, peak, pique. I have your address and will be by later.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 1:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   Nick Noehm

      Um …

      I’m pretty sure I’m always confusing there, their and they’re

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:23 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Geek Goddess

      Nick, your number is 11.8. Please proceed to the dungeon when your number is called. There, they’re waiting for you to learn from their corrections.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.10   infant tyrone bang

      GG,
      Before I retired (early) from teaching I used to have students underline the ‘here’ in ‘there’ and the ‘heir’ in ‘their’. As long as they knew what an heir was (if they didn’t at first, that was solved quickly), they could see which was possessive and which was locative. When we knew those two were nailed down tighter than a flibbertygibbet boyfriend, we circled ‘there’ and ‘their’ and answered the question “Now, are they going to be a problem in the future ?” with “No, they’re not!”

      But, I’m out of the biz now, so you should be back to an uninterrupted flow of candidates for grammatical therapy and spelling remediation.

      If you need assistance with any twitchy squirmers, I might be able to help, as I was in scouts as a kid and we learned a few things about knots.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.11   park rose bang

      Hey, I left that dungeon yesterday, unviolated. I’m a one oddess kinda girl.

      Nice ideas on how to teach the differences, ty, though it comes across as a little homophonic, and you might have just talked yourself out of a light brush across the palm with one of GG’s switches.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.12   infant tyrone bang

      Moan-a-theism, huh ?

      Simplifies things, I reckon…
      Don’t need mnemonics to remember Who’s the God of What.
      If you work for a living, though, multitheism may be a better system because of the increased number of holidays…it’s worth considering,
      albeit from a purely rational, economic standpoint.

      Homophonic…I don’t have *any* Ricky Martin CD’s, and search as you might, you won’t find any Judy Garland or Broadway musical records in my stacks of wax.
      Other guys can arrive via their own routes, but I’ve always been more into the hand-delivered manuscript on the desk than submission by male.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.13   pony girl

      I hate when people tell me to smile.

      Complete strangers tell me to smile. You should smile, honey. Why aren’t you smiling? I even get the look from some women, some of you may know it. Where they catch your eye and make an exaggerated smile and do that little twirly thing with their hand near their mouth.
      As if I’m about to go onstage at a freaking beauty contest.
      SHUT UP!
      i smile when i want to.

      i really hate that
      but I don’t chew my own labia because of it, that’s a bit extreme

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.14   Nick Noehm

      Oh, cheer up, pg.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.15   pony girl bang

      ;)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.16   Nick Noehm

      Golly gee GG. I was hoping for a housecall. CB’s getting one. Are you playing favourites? You know that’s how we lose faith …

      In case Unsaintly Nick gets wrapped up in Christmas, some pre-emptive warm wishes to all.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.17   Geek Goddess

      Now, Naughty NN,
      That would be our Christmas Special, and I will need your address. We can certainly arrange to have you wrapped up during the event, if that is your choice.
      (Safe word is chimney)

      Dec 22, 2009 at 7:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.18   park rose bang

      Ah, Nick, that brought a tear to my eye. Philip Glass meets Paganini… or Panini if we’re still on the carbs riff. Here’s one that I taught my EFL students yesterday. It was instructive for/to all of us.

      Oh, and wikipedia says this about panini: “The word comes from the Latin cum panis, “with bread.” “

      Dec 22, 2009 at 8:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.19   infant tyrone bang

      Makes sense, considering the big carborations and cumpanis have all the dough these days.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.20   Canthz_B bang

      GG, I started with “piqued”, then had a fit of it, and changed it unwisely.

      Notice: CB, you can use http://www.m-w.com while drunken posting (you lazy bastard).

      Dec 22, 2009 at 11:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.21   park rose bang

      CB, I thought it was intentional, you know, like because an interesting part of you was about to peak ;)

      Dec 23, 2009 at 3:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.22   Canthz_B bang

      rose, you were peeking again, weren’t you? :oops:

      Dec 23, 2009 at 7:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   ashmeadow

    Clearly her mother is speaking from experience.
    “Yes, honey, I was pretty, independent, and a good driver to boot. But the only person who wanted all that was your father, so suck it up.”

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:38 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Palomon bang

    Pretty is as pretty does?

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Canthz_B bang

      If pretty has enough gumption.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 2:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   park rose bang

      Petty is as petty does.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   infant tyrone bang

      Pity Pretty Petty Polly (say rapidamente 5x)
      or just report directly to the dungeon

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Tim Kolb

    In Pretty Girl’s defense; there are a lot of asshole drivers in Lexington.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 4:04 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Gavin

      but they’re not as pretty as she and she therefore should know better god’damnit! Team Mom

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   HopefulNebula bang

    I’m entirely with the submitter on this one. And if I were that mom, I’d be more worried about my daughter being almost killed by stupid drivers than I would be about her well-justified anger.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 4:07 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Oh Really

      Agreed. When I bitch about stupid drivers, my Mom joins in. Oh…wait…does that mean Mom doesn’t think I’m….oh my…

      Dec 22, 2009 at 11:06 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Woman on the Verge bang

    Mom,

    I wish you would stop emailing me about my attitude and looks. It comes off as manipulative and controlling and you’re such a sweet old… oh, wait, never mind, I forgot. You are a manipulative controlling bitch.

    Love,

    How-pretty-am-I-now?

    Dec 22, 2009 at 5:46 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Escape Goat

    This is what you get for “Friending” (I hate that term) your mother on FB.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 6:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Gunderson105

    Mom,
    Life’s a virgin, a bitch is too easy.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 7:35 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Mike

    Mom was drawing on some recent research regarding appearance and positive outlook.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 7:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   park rose bang

      Was it just general doodling, or bright pink penises? Cos’ if it was/were bright pink penises, then her note made it to the right place.

      Also explains why her daughter is pissed off. That was her dissertation.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   adam

    Wow, never realized this site is basically all girls.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 8:02 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   laurie

      The female of the species is far more passive-aggressive than the male.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 8:12 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   Beanster bang

      adam, we come for the notes, but we stay for you.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 8:32 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Beanster, I thought you said you come for adam…. oh, wait, I was thinking of something else.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 9:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   anglophile bang

      Does this dismay or thrill you, adam?

      Dec 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   adam

      Thrilled for sure. You should all use me in your fantasies. I am way better looking than that jinx guy from a few days ago.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 7:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   park rose bang

      So, you’re the peacock attracting the peahens then adam? jinx was a gal.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 9:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   adam

      We need to add little male/female symbols next to names here.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 9:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.8   park rose bang

      You’re not a peacock then?

      Dec 23, 2009 at 9:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.9   adam

      haha just had to wikipedia peafowl to make sure I didn’t call myself a girl.

      I am a peacock and I think my plumage is satisfactory.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 11:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.10   infant tyrone bang

      Symbols ? No special keys required for these…
      O–+
      O–>

      Dec 23, 2009 at 12:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   laurie

    Mom must not know how to properly use turning lanes.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 8:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   JoMama

    So if she wasn’t pretty, then she’d have a free pass from mom to be as bitchy as she wanted to be?!

    Also, she’s not being mean or ugly or nasty, she’s keeping it real because Lexington drivers SUCK, so stick that where the sun don’t shine, Mom!

    Dec 22, 2009 at 8:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   the Librarian

    So Mom thinks pretty girls don’t make nasty comments… Jesus, didn’t she go to junior high?

    Dec 22, 2009 at 8:57 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   katie

    i gotta say, i live in lexington as well and this girl is right about people abusing turning lanes. ain’t nothing nasty about the truth!

    Dec 22, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

    Sure, I would be livid pissed if my mom wrote this to me (and I should have more sympathy because my mom thinks the answer to almost every problem – need a job, out of money, having a bad day — is for me to lose weight.

    That aside, I really like mom. I’d like to hear more from mom. I just imagine her smiling and batting her eyes while saying “Life’s a bitch. Deal with it.”

    Maybe I just like her cuz she knows how to punctuate: “And, darling – you’ll never catch a man if you leave that participle hanging out like that!”

    Dec 22, 2009 at 10:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   debkatz

      That’s right Ms S. Why write the entire sentence when you can get the participle for free…

      Dec 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   jjdonkey

    This one hits close to home. My parents are my friends on facebook, and God knows I cherish them. But any time one of my other friends swears or posts something a little “Blue” on my wall, they immediately e-mail me to take it down because what if one of their friends from church happened to see that? Is that what I want people to see? They’re also notorious for policing EVERYONE’S wall. My flower girl (now 17) dared to use the f-word in conversation and my father sent her a three paragraph essay on foul language revealing the pain in our hearts that can be healed by jesus.

    Facebook: Serious business.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 1:17 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   park rose bang

      Jesus Christ! Sacrebleu!** Sufferin’ succotash!* Gee willikers!***
      (*edited in for ty’s benefit).
      (**edited in for Nick and ty’s benefit).
      (***edited in for the benefit of boy wonder and his arch nemesis, Mr. Kite).

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   infant tyrone bang

      Uh Oh…
      Glad I stopped by to check in
      and see if rose got specific…
      I guess I know somebody who won’t
      be on the jjdonkey wall of fame that long or often

      P.S. Drop me from the Quebecois mail server. Not sure how I got on.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Hmmm

    I knew a girl who was so tough that she thought “mother” was only half a word.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 2:24 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   park rose bang

      That wasn’t a girl. That was Samuel L. Jackson in a dress.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   infant tyrone bang

      Patrick Swayze’s ashes scattered less than four months ago and we’re already floating trial balloons for “To Wong Foo Two” ?

      oddess elp us !

      Dec 22, 2009 at 5:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Geek Goddess

      You called, ty?

      Dec 23, 2009 at 2:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   infant tyrone bang

      Technically, I suppose I did.
      It was more a case of “use for emphasis” than an actual cry for help,
      but it is a real comfort to know that you’re there,
      that you care about your believers and their often disturbing needs,
      and that even though they’re recidivists you’re there for them.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 3:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Jess Sain bang

    I think the hidden message behind the “pretty girl” reference is that Honey has an ugly attitude. It sounds as if Honey posts negative comments frequently and Mom is tired of hearing her whine about her life.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 4:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   pony girl

      Isn’t that what FB is for?
      For people to whine about their life or brag about it?

      and post the appropriate pictures?

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Online Pharmacy

    Paypal takes a lot of your money. Quikbooks is what I decided on. I am able to integrate it with the free version online. Now that is just a merchant account. I use godaddy.com to set up my shopping cart feature and it is compatible with the Quikbooks merchant account. The monthly fees are low and the percentage for each transaction that Quikbooks takes is small…well worth it.

    Dec 22, 2009 at 5:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   pony girl

      Good for you, Sweetie. Glad you are happy with your decision.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Geek Goddess

      I tried an online dungeon, but found that my client base prefers a more ‘hands on’ experience. Cash only, from now on, although I am open to barter.

      Dec 22, 2009 at 6:17 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   TeriAnn

    Actually, I like to say..”Life is a virgin because if it was a bitch it would be easy”…. seriously were you easy as a virgin… don’t think so

    Dec 22, 2009 at 5:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   pony girl

      Bitchy doesn’t necessarily mean slutty.

      Dec 23, 2009 at 7:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Athene

    Well this may be off topic, or on topic, whichever the case may be…
    But I’ve lived in LA, San Fransisco, New York, and Lexington, KY. Trust me the Lexington drivers are practically God-Like in driving ability and mental capacity.

    Dec 23, 2009 at 9:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    Dear Mom,

    Dad’s been cheating with Aunt Helen in your backseat at every holiday meal. Before you get upset please remember that pretty is as pretty does, and a little Goof Off will remove those noxious stains from your upholstery. Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know.

    Love,
    Honey

    Dec 23, 2009 at 10:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   mystic_eye_cda

    Dear Mom,

    I wish you wouldn’t send such nasty e-mails. They come off as shallow, judgmental, and mean; the fact that you are so physically unattractive doesn’t make up for it. Family is a bitch, luckily I have friends who understand and respect me and allow me to voice my true, if fleeting, feelings.

    Love,
    Your Daughter.

    Dec 23, 2009 at 5:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Maurs

    HOLY SHIT! I go to school in Lexington too, and the first thing I noticed freshman year of college was how horrible Lexingtonians are at driving; most specifically, they can’t use turn lanes! Cut the OP some slack, she’s right.

    Dec 26, 2009 at 6:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   K

    nooo, the note is indeed retarded. okay, yay be positive, but you’re such a pretty girl? way to be shallow. life’s a bitch, and so’s her mom.

    Jan 1, 2010 at 12:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Is your blog kid-tested, mother-approved? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

    [...] related: Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right. [...]

    May 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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