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Really professional, for real.

December 27th, 2009 · 56 comments

Writes our (only slightly embittered) submitter in Connecticut: “My coworker works the receiving department in a car parts warehouse. Even though he works in a warehouse he likes to pretend he works in an office by sitting at his workstation all day working on ‘problems.’ He put this up because apparently people actually doing work were drowning out his Rush Limbaugh broadcast.”

Ladies & Gentlemen: This is a real office with a real phone, real customers & vendors people AND people who are trying to be REAL professional. Please keep the noise down to a low roar!

related: just sayin’

 

FILED UNDER: bold underlined italics · noise · spelling and grammar police


56 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    For real

    Dec 27, 2009 at 11:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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    • #1.1   park rose bang

      Keeping it real, tinks. That’s what Rush Limbaugh’s all about.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.2   Critical Grass bang

      Really?

      Dec 28, 2009 at 6:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I prefer the real foil hat people on Coast to Coast late at night…they make more sense.

      Dec 31, 2009 at 2:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #2   JJ

    shouldn’t that be “really professional”?

    or ” a person who is trying to be a real professional”?

    sounds like a bit of a… well, tool.

    Dec 27, 2009 at 11:51 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

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    • #2.1   Canthz_B bang

      People who are trying to be real professionals write in a much more professional manner…this I profess!

      Dec 27, 2009 at 11:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.2   jetjackson bang

      This town ain’t big enough for the both of us!

      Dec 28, 2009 at 4:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    I bet they are “real” tired of this guy.

    Dec 27, 2009 at 11:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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    • #3.1   park rose bang

      I bet they’re real tyred of this guy, too. It sounds like his retreads have been retrod one time too many.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 12:01 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.2   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, rose.

      I had to change it. :oops:

      Dec 28, 2009 at 12:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.3   park rose bang

      S’alright… I’ll change mine somehow! :)

      Dec 28, 2009 at 12:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.4   Canthz_B bang

      Rose, you’re really on a roll now! :-)

      Dec 28, 2009 at 12:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.5   park rose bang

      Louie’s just got a few nuts and bolts rattlin’ round, know what I’m saying? Seems a bit screwy to me.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 1:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.6   Canthz_B bang

      Louie’s just a big lug. But you’d be hard pressed to wrench him away from his duties.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 1:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #4   park rose bang

    What he really wanted to say is, There is one person here who is a real professional, but as JJ termed it, I guess he thought it sounded too ‘toolish’. Kind of fitting for a car parts warehouse.
    Reminds me of when Ricky Gervais talks to the lads in the warehouse.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    “Hey, Leo…Mufasa…Clarence (you cross-eyed SOB), keep it to a low roar guys, I’m trying to be real professional over here!”

    Sorry, Sir…I was just about to ax how could I help you…please know the pacific part you need so I’ll have a ideal where to look.

    *thinks to self: Damn, I’m professional!*

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:09 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

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    • #5.1   park rose bang

      You done good, CB.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 1:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #5.2   Canthz_B bang

      It’s all about the ‘grammer’, rose. ♥

      Dec 28, 2009 at 1:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #5.3   infant tyrone bang

      *in a Jimmy Cagney-ish voice*

      *on second thought, probably Edward G Robinson works better*

      Listen, see, it’s all about the grammer, see, park…

      Dec 28, 2009 at 12:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #6   zombieBlanco bang

    I’m suspicious that the sign doesn’t mention real staplers.
    What kind of real professionals omit the presence of real staplers in their supposedly real offices?

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:21 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

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    • #6.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      …and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire

      Dec 31, 2009 at 2:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #7   Sheri

    The middle sentence makes it look like he just cut and pasted his Daily Affirmation.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

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  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Boisterous workers and wannabe “professionals” all have got to be real!

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #9   felix

    But don’t use real English, apparently.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #10   Critical Grass bang

    All this things and people are, in fact, real?! Gee, I’d never guess… Really! By the way, you’re doing a real nice job.
    But hey, are we still real on Wednesdays?

    Dec 28, 2009 at 5:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

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    • #10.1   park rose bang

      That’s the coworker’s day off. All the work gets done when he stops trying to be a real professional. It’s an inverted kind of existence, or non-existence.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 8:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #10.2   Hmmm

      They are so professional on Wednesdays, that they’re unreal.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 10:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #11   Adam

    What is reality anyway?

    Dec 28, 2009 at 6:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #12   bowloftoast bang

    This could ultimately turn into a case of ‘be careful what you wish for’ for our notewriter. Should the background noise subside all at once, he may find the ‘low roar’ he covets is actually the staffwide kicking in of the morning’s coffee.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 7:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #12.1   park rose bang

      He might find that the porn he surreptitiously watches in the most real professional of manners is, all of a sudden, very audible.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 8:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
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  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    At the very least, we know from this note who stole the mayo from the office fridge.
    He couldn’t resist taking the Hellmann’s…the real mayonnaise!

    Dec 28, 2009 at 7:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #14   adam

    Nobody’s really posted a great comment yet. This note may be a dud.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 7:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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    • #14.1   Canthz_B bang

      Poor craftsmen blame their tools (in this case their materials), you don’t mind if others keep trying I hope.

      Personally, I’m happy with #5. It took roar to lion to ignorant wanna be, self-centered, self-satisfied “professional”.
      I think it was pretty clever.
      Sorry you didn’t think much of my effort, but then, who cares?

      Dec 28, 2009 at 8:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #14.2   adam

      5 was good. Worth tooting of the horn but still no-one was able to knock it out of the park yet.

      And, of course i’d encourage others to keep trying!!! Never give up!

      Dec 28, 2009 at 8:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #14.3   Critical Grass bang

      Oh, look who got snob all of a sudden.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 8:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #14.4   G

      “And with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth: the critic.” –HotWPI

      Dec 28, 2009 at 9:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #14.5   park rose bang

      See, it’s like this, adam. Me an the boys hate to disappoint. We wanna know we’ve answered all your sporting prayers. Half-assed isn’t good enough. Real angels of mercy you might call us. Do gooders. We just can’t keep our noses out of other people’s business. But then, we’re concerned citizens, and your business is our business, you need our schnozzes, know what we’re saying? Speaking of which, there’s a couple of baseball bats we’d like you meet, only for a short while mind you, won’t take up too much of your time. All professional-like, nothing to be worried about. Like I said, we’re the answers to all your prayers, even the ones you haven’t thought of yet. Everyone has a big smile across their face when they see Big Lou and the boys walk into their office. Now, back to the matter at hand. Can’t be a star if you don’t know how to swing the bat, right? Here, let Vinnie show you…

      Dec 28, 2009 at 9:40 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
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  • #15   Mo®

    This isn’t the business you’re looking for. You can go about your business.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 8:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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  • #16   marky not mark

    Dwight Shrute in da (ware)house!

    Dec 28, 2009 at 9:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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    • #16.1   adam

      Haha, I thought of Darrell posting this in the Dunder Mifflin warehouse when I read this note.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 10:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #17   oi

    Real
    Surreal
    Incrporeal
    Ethereal
    Sidereal
    Unreal
    Venereal
    Parareal (I know not a real word but we all know if I acknowledge it then it’s a real word! Just like the previous PAN)

    Dec 28, 2009 at 10:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #17.1   adam

      fo-real

      Dec 28, 2009 at 2:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #17.2   infant tyrone bang

      Maybe faux-real ?

      Dec 28, 2009 at 6:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #18   oi bang

    office is real, phones are real customers are real but vendors are not.

    Dec 28, 2009 at 11:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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    • #18.1   Sirius¤ bang

      Time is an illusion; comp time, doubly so.

      *apologies to Douglas Adams

      Dec 28, 2009 at 11:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #19   aaa bang

    The note-writer sounds like he’s disappointed that he can’t get a more corporate job because he flunked out of college. The warehouse does not live to cater to your broken dreams!

    Dec 28, 2009 at 12:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #19.1   Sirius¤ bang

      Living Warehouse of Catered Broken Dreams was the worst children’s sing-along record that Mom & Dad ever gave me.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 1:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #19.2   susitna

      “warehouse of broken dreams” would make a great emo record, though.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 7:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #20   moody

    Are you professional or not? Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking lights down, in the middle of a scene? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? Ah da da dah, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? What don’t you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it’s fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind Bryce in the middle of the fucking scene? Give me a fucking answer! What don’t you get about it?

    Dec 28, 2009 at 7:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #20.1   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

      I do have to admit, all this fucking is a bit distracting.

      Dec 28, 2009 at 10:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #20.2   Canthz_B bang

      Isn’t this sign posted in a warehouse?

      Are they shooting a film about auto parts?

      Dec 28, 2009 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #20.3   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

      Well, it IS in a warehouse, and they are shooting ‘parts’.

      Ever wanted to be in pictures, CB?

      Dec 28, 2009 at 10:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #20.4   Canthz_B bang

      Ron Jeremy kept just beating me out of the parts I auditioned for.

      But I gained valuable “acting” experience! :-)

      Dec 29, 2009 at 2:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #20.5   park rose bang

      I guess the length of his experience just tipped him over the edge, pushed him slightly ahead, right, CB?

      Dec 29, 2009 at 7:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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