(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

FILED UNDER: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex


170 responses so far ↓

  • #1   pony girl

    Cooter?
    I’d never heard that word.
    Wasn’t that the name of the friend or cousin or whatever in that tv show, The Dukes of Hazard?

    ps -
    team gay neighbor

    pps – The Creeper, one of my favorite Scooby-Doo cartoons!

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:29 pm   rating: 113  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Critical Grass bang

      Team Edward gay neighbor! \o/

      Jan 3, 2010 at 7:51 pm   rating: 169  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   AuntyBron

      Cooter? She’ having a tizzy because some one looked at her turtle? Weird.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:01 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Critical Grass bang

      Thank God it wasn’t her cat he was looking at…

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:47 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Neeners

      Cooter’s Place is the end all for Dukes of Hazzard memorabilia! I have got to get his book “Redneck Boy in the Promised Land”. It’s on Oprah’s book list I think.

      http://www.cootersplace.com/

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   felix

      Clerks II was the first time I heard the word “cooter” and I still don’t like it. It’s neither cute /sexy nor insulting/vulgar so why bother? So many better alternatives.

      Also, that second note really took a sudden nasty turn at the p.s. #2, didn’t it?

      Jan 4, 2010 at 2:35 am   rating: 72  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   sam lovelace

      Yes, the word ‘cooter’ is a Southernism, originally with a fairly harmless meaning. A cooter USED to just be a kind of turtle –
      http://bolincreek.org/images/CooterTurtle.jpg
      - and that’s why some southern kids – including my water-loving mum – earned that nickname. I’m not sure when the, ahem, tide turned, but I have known the euphemistic use of the word for most of my 40+ years.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 5:42 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Joe

    If the replier (peeper) had any ‘manners and common courtesy’ he would not swear on a public notice. Why apologise for swearing if you’re going to do it anyway?

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:31 pm   rating: 73  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Critical Grass bang

      Yeah Joe, that shit doesn’t make any sense. What the hell was that douchebag thinking? Fucking asshole…

      Jan 3, 2010 at 7:45 pm   rating: 259  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   gogo girlie

      I agree! The legal ramifications are incalculable.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   cherylb

    So is he (he? she?) a Peeping Tom or a Peeing Tom? Equally disturbing if the person was peeing outside the window, but somehow fewer feelings of violation…

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:33 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Wade bang

      If the second note writer is as inept as a Peeing Tom as he is a Peeking Tom it might explain his “color of the fucking sun” hoodie.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 7:36 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   anglophile bang

      Well, he claims he’s not a Peeing Tom.

      Which seems to me is going to land him at the urologist’s office sooner or later.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      Why does R. Kelly keep doing these things?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:36 pm   rating: 133  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Critical Grass bang

      What?! Someone peeing outside the window? Ah… saturdays night.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:49 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   notolaf

      Hee hee hee! He said, “Peeing Tom.” Hee hee hee.

      Jan 5, 2010 at 10:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Ben Kaealan

    EPIC WIN!!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   dixiechick

      Totally with you, Ben!!!

      I think I’m Team Thank you Terry(cloth robe).

      Jan 3, 2010 at 7:57 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   N J

    The only thing worse than a peeping Tom is a “peeing Tom.” It’s a shame he ranted about not being illiterate after that typo.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Wade bang

      It’s not a shame, NJ. It’s glorious!! :D

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:07 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   park rose

      golden.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:27 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Harpdevil

      showers.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 2:21 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   jean

      Exactly, HarpDevil.
      Exactly.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 3:03 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Wade bang

    Wait.

    I was looking for my cat when I wandered into your bush?!?!?!?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:42 pm   rating: 299  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, Wade, but all he found was a cooter, no sign of a pussy.

      Should have snatched up a flashlight beaver he went looking.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:38 pm   rating: 79  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Beth

      IF YOU TRY TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT WANDERING INTO MY BUSH AGAIN YOU WON’T HAVE ANY TIME TO POP ANOTHER erection

      Ahem, what I meant to say was, thanks for the laugh!

      Jan 3, 2010 at 7:52 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Jesse

      A flashlight beaver? A Fleshlight, if you will?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      He should have clammed up.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 6:21 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   AuntyBron

      I think it’s a stitch that the note writer whispered “erection”

      Jan 4, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   dixiechick

    I’m good with the first note–I’d be seriously pissed if I thought someone was peeping in my window!

    What kills me with the second one is that it starts off fairly nicely with the apology and explanation (although looking for a pussy in her bush… I’m just not even going there), and gradually gets crazier and crazier and more and more hostile: “Have yourself a gift certificate and a Merry effing Xmas, beeaytch! And BTW, your bush ain’t all THAT, either!”

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:48 pm   rating: 159  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   K

      Sounds like a lot of the gay men I know, to be honest. First time I ever head the ‘bitch, please’ line used in a non-internet context was by a guy more feminine than me.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 6:26 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      I love it. I think it’s great how he’s all “oops, my bad! please let me explain myself. PS, fuck you.” I choose to look at it as a style choice. Either way, I want to put these two (clothed, naked, whatever) into a cage and watch them fight.

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:34 pm   rating: 84  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Hessia

      I totally agree with this comment. The first note is completely understandable. It is a violation of privacy and sick to have someone peering at your naked self through a window in the middle of the night.

      The second guy totally was a creepy loser judging by his note.

      Jan 7, 2010 at 2:17 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Critical Grass bang

    I want a hoodie the color of the fucking sun!
    Am I the only one?

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:50 pm   rating: 113  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Tim Kolb

      A hoodie the color of the sun would be awesome to own and I’m not even gay.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:16 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Wade bang

      Are you just hoodie-curious?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:20 pm   rating: 140  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   anglophile bang

      I have a hoodie the color of the sky and a hoodie the color of the sun.

      I’m bi-hoodial.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 104  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Saysh

      We know ‘Glo.. we have pictures to prove it…

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   anglophile bang

      Damn it, Saysh! I told you I’d pay you as soon as I could get the money together! You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Saysh

      *rubbing hands together* more incentive for payment, “Glo. Just making sure you hadn’t forgotten!!

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Critical Grass bang

      ‘Glo, do you have rainbow-hoodie?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   ClearlyDemented

    Team Creeper until PS2 and 3, then team you-deserve-to-make-each-other-miserable-with-back-and-forth-PANotes-until-the-end-of-time.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm   rating: 69  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Havingfitz

    Naked neighbor should know by now that people peering in your window are color-coded. Yellow is obviously for “peeing gay man looking for pussy, but don’t worry, not yours.” Black means “I’m 15 and want everyone to think I’m anti-social, but all my friends are getting laid so I need to see what a cooter looks like and…oh my god!” Watch out for anyone in purple; it’s probably Grimace.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm   rating: 220  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   jetjackson bang

      If it’s Adidas then it’s Lady Sovereign and from what I can tell she likes the cooter.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:55 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   tinkerbell2

      *digression alert* Lady Sovereign has just gone into the Celebrity Big Brother house here in the UK, thereby both stretching the definition of the word ‘celebrity’ even further than fellow housemate Stephen Baldwin AND guaranteeing herself zero ‘cooter’ action for a few weeks (as other female housemates are fiercely straight, including Heidi Fleiss, for Chrissakes).
      *Further digression alert* Someone here said ‘Isn’t it a bit cruel putting Stephen Baldwin on a show called Celebrity Big Brother?’ – ha ha.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 7:14 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   BeckyC

    If she’s so worried about neighbors seeing her cooter, perhaps she shouldn’t allow cats to wander into her bush.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 7:56 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Olivia

    I haven’t heard the term “cooter” before either. I have heard ‘beaver’, ‘minge’, ‘muff’, ‘moot’ and ‘vag’ though.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   jetjackson bang

      There is a world of possibility out there. Va-jay-jay, tang, poon, poon-tang, box, snatch, gash… the list goes on. Then for the redheads you have firecrouch and apricunt.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 8:34 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   anglophile bang

      How about ‘bearded clam’, ‘beef curtains’, ‘gash’?

      don’t hit submit, don’t hit subm

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:08 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Saysh

      BEEF CURTAINS???

      Now, that one is a new one for me.. though we know how sheltered and innocent I am.. right, Ms. PATDS?? Hmmm ???

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Canthz_B bang

      Fish taco.
      Cootchie.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Wade bang

      euphemisms (the substitution of an agreeable or inoffensive expression for one that may offend or suggest something unpleasant) ur doin it rong. :twisted:

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:20 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   sex wounder

      Sex wound, axe wound, place where daddy touched me, and so forth

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.7   anglophile bang

      I’ve been corrupted by the low company I keep, Saysh.

      It’s a bleeding shame.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.8   Saysh bang

      Ummmm. ‘Glo..

      Nope.. I’m not going there… never mind

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.9   jetjackson bang

      Meanwhile I am holding my horses…

      I have a cacophony of synonyms in comment 12.1 awaiting moderation. I don’t know which one set off the alarm bells though. I dare not utter a word in case of setting off the evil moderatron again.

      Edit: Bazinga! It is moderated!

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.10   Neeners

      Is it worse than beef curtains?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.11   Canthz_B bang

      Wade, I’m just doing the Limbo Rock:

      Limbo lower now.
      Limb lower now.
      How low can you go?

      Not euph-, youfa-, other names for stuff!!

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.12   Canthz_B bang

      jet, do apricunts and kumquats go well together?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.13   oi

      hooha

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.14   George Carlin

      I’m gonna snatch that pussy and put it in a box and take it on an airplane.

      (You just can’t beat the classics).

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.15   morpho aurora

      cockpit?

      Jan 4, 2010 at 3:23 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.16   se

      how about the little man in a boat? we can’t forget about that.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:02 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.17   infant tyrone bang

      Elvis Costello in “Opportunity” on “Get Happy”

      I’m in the foxhole, I’m down in the trench
      I’d be a hero but I can’t stand the stench

      Jan 4, 2010 at 11:43 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.18   Boo

      Spam purse, wizard’s sleeve, lady garden.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 12:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.19   jetjackson bang

      ({})

      Jan 4, 2010 at 6:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.20   Canthz_B bang

      The lyric “I’m like a one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store
      I’m like a one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store
      Well, I can look at you and tell you ain’t no child no more”
      got past all the censors.

      Makes me shake, rattle and roll with laughter!

      Jan 4, 2010 at 10:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.21   katia802

      think my favorite is still “catbag”

      Jan 5, 2010 at 2:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.22   pony girl

      12.2-

      Well, I now hold those English Beefeaters in a much higher esteem.

      Jan 5, 2010 at 8:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.23   eXo

      Anglophile – it’s a Bleeding Shame? That sounds like another euphemism to me!

      Jan 12, 2010 at 2:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Nox

    “I was looking for my my cat who just happened to wander into your bush”
    Hmm… maybe a peeping Jane? I hear Lesbians also consider themselves gay.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:03 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   tinkerbell2

      I don’t think a lesbian would say ‘I wasn’t looking at your cooter because I’m gay’.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 7:17 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Critical Grass bang

      You know what, tinkerbell2, I think Nox has a point. Some lesbians have pretty high standards, and maybe the ‘cooter’ in question wasn’t exactly a ‘looker’.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 7:33 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   anglophile bang

      I have it on good authority that no lesbian in the history of the world has ever described herself as gay.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 7:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Critical Grass bang

      Good authority, ‘Glo?

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   infant tyrone bang

      First letter is the same as Jehovah’s, no, glo’?

      Jan 4, 2010 at 11:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   oi bang

      ty hover over capitalized words and you’ll find treasure!

      Jan 4, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      That was quite entertaining.

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   infant tyrone bang

      Thanks oi!,
      I posted one of these yesterday I think.
      Probably on a post N+1 from here.
      They’re fun, huh?

      ty

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Tim Kolb

    I betcha its a load off her mind to find out that the window peeker is gay and not a pervert or creeper.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:04 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   jetjackson bang

    Congratulations! Now every other creeper in your building knows you get around nude. p.s. See you soon.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 123  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Chad

    Somebody forgot to give me the memo explaining that “ill” is now a verb.

    “IF I FIND OUT WHOM YOU ARE ILL [blah blah blah blah]“

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   park rose bang

      Nuh. I think it’s just the NZ accent coming into play again*, and an unfortunate habit of once in a life time dropping ‘B’s in the same way the French and Cockneys drop their ‘haitches’, y’know?

      If I find out whom you are Bill, I’m gonna toll ya, and I’m gonna toll ya good.

      * Well, the writer might be an ex-pat!

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   LawGeek

      Also note the sad attempt at using “whom”.

      Fail.

      Feb 6, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Ten

    He saw her beaver after wandering into her bush while looking for his kitty. But don’t worry! He’s totally gay.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Finie

      At least he is now…

      Jan 4, 2010 at 7:19 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Snap.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 7:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   pemdas

    It would be pretty funny if the gift card he included in the Christmas card had no value :->

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Neeners

      Who the hell gives a Christmas and gift card to a perfect stranger whom they were just peeping at? Why the local neighborhood Gay Christian Peeper thats who!

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:38 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Geek Goddess

      If it would get me gift cards, I would leave my blinds open all the time. I think it might just get rocks thrown through my windows, though.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 3:32 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Critical Grass bang

    Damn, I thought we were through with this!

    *closes the blinds*

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Donna Martin Graduates!

    Fucking priceless! I love that he put “cooter” in inverted commas.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    Face it, Miss Purdy, in the heat of the night, Officer Sam Wood is likely to stop by and ask, “Where you keeping the pie tonight?”

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    Hopefully, he gave her a gift card to Blinds-4-Less.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 8:56 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Critical Grass bang

    Hey! You were looking through my window, weren’t you?! You creeper, Imma call the polic… What’s that? Ah, you’re gay? Oh, that’s okay then… See ya, neighbor but not if you see me fir-irst. *chuckles*

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:01 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    Maybe he’s a member of a cover band…”Hoodie and the Blowfish”.

    “Cooter and the Blowfish” raised exceptions in some media markets.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   farcical aquatic ceremony

    Team Kerry, for a totally frickin’ brilliant start to 2010!!! This is what PAN is all about~seeing the unraveling of a personality in the person’s transition from “painful politeness” to total meltdown.

    Let’s see some thumbs up for Kerry :))))))))))))

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:05 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    Peeing Tom is Uncle Tom’s very nervous son.

    “HEY-YA, TOM!!

    “HUH?!?!…Aw, damn, not agin.”

    “Never gits ole, Tom…never gits ole!”

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Me

    EPIC WIN!!

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   farcical aquatic ceremony

    did anyone else notice the shift to short, thick letters when she got to the word “erection”?

    I know, I know, my mind’s just in the gutter…but I SWEAR, I was only there in the gutter looking for my puppy, not to stalk you…After all, I was wearing my tie-dyed hoodie. Everyone knows that only anti-stalking puppy-lovers wear tie-dye.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:23 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Wade bang

      At least she didn’t rotate the text 45°.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Neeners

      She must have seen that the ‘erection’ was definitely not an ‘ERECTION’.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:28 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   Canthz_B bang

      He can be helped. He can be placed in the custody of the penile system.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 11:32 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Mo® bang

    I’ve got a fever and the only thing that will cure it is more cowbells hidden in the bushes in front of my window!

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Sara

    God… what kind of world do we live in that you can’t walk around naked with the windows open without being stared at by gay men in yellow hoodies.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 9:29 pm   rating: 93  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Palomon bang

      What kind of world do we live in when a law abiding gay man can’t piss under a gal’s window and stare at her delicates without angry notes getting taped up all over the place?

      Girls shoulda called the cops in the first place, especially if she knew who the dude was.

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:14 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Mel K

      What kind of a world do we live in when gay men wearing hoodies the colour of the e-ffing sun do not look after their cats!?

      Jan 3, 2010 at 10:45 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Neeners

    All this is perfectly innocent and has a logical explanation.

    The man was simply looking for a little pussy in the next door exhibitionist neighbor’s bush.

    Nothing to see here people, keep it moving this crap happens all the time.

    Jan 3, 2010 at 10:14 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Neeners

    So the righteous indignation of Nudie Neighbor at being looked at in her b-day suit by the Gay Pussy Seeking, yellow hoodie afflicted, bush whacker seems a little too much. Some exhibitionists need to make a big deal out of it in order to get off (or so I’m told).

    She says she’s ‘extremely disturbed’. Maybe she needs more mental therapy.

    And thanks ‘Accused Creeper’ everyone appreciates your apologies and can really see you don’t have problems and really do have manners and common courtesy.

    How could we have misjudged either of you?

    Jan 3, 2010 at 10:23 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Neeners

    Note to self: All men wearing yellow hoodies are GAY. No exceptions!

    Now we are all clear. But are all women wearing yellow hoodies ‘lesbians’?

    Jan 3, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   park rose

      They’re loodies.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 9:13 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   infant tyrone bang

      If they were “loodites”
      would their haiku-hoodies
      have to be hand-made ?

      Jan 4, 2010 at 11:54 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   park rose bang

      The thread pattern would be something like knit five, purl seven, drop two, knit five, pick up a stitch…

      ‘glo, don’t come in here and tell me how impossible that is. It’s poetic licence, damn it!

      Still saying that you’ve 8 syllables in the second row ;)

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      This is much easier to do with a crochet hook and a bottle of wine.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.5   park rose bang

      I tend to favour macrame (therefore all of my hoodies have big owl eyes, big fucking roll eyes owl eyes).

      A bottle of wine makes everything easier to do, don’t it?

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Well the tequila makes me pass out too early in the day, and the threads get all tangled up.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:47 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.7   anglophile bang

      You could always take up knitting for the same effect, rose.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.8   park rose bang

      But that’s classy, ‘glo. This was the effect I was after.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.9   anglophile bang

      I’m wondering if the great owl/macramé connection was ever fully explained.

      Why did no one ever macramé a fox wall hanging, or an angel wall hanging? Or even a freaking teddy bear? No, it was always the damn owl.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 10:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.10   infant tyrone bang

      rose.
      8 syllables in row 2?
      I tried but I can’t get it past 7.
      den-wood-dare-hai-ku-hood-ease
      One of those is hiding a 2nd syllable?

      Lemme know, maybe I’m illiterate, Gracey…
      In Mason & Dixon terms, Mr. Pynchon might have proposed an extra “virtual syllable” in the word ‘wood’ to stand for the wooden sabot to be thrown into the loom in Luddite protest, but I think me no so clever.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 10:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.11   park rose bang

      ha-i-ku….
      I really think so

      Jan 4, 2010 at 10:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.12   park rose bang

      *sigh* I miss my great pink eyed macrame owl *sigh***

      ***shudder – I’m thinking about south park now***

      *****to be fair, he didn’t have pink eyes, the jute was pink. and, to be fair, those big fluffy macrame eyes (rings), angels wings nor vixen snouts be*****

      Jan 4, 2010 at 10:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.13   infant tyrone bang

      rose,
      OK, I’ll trust you on the sort of Hawaiian pronunciation/syllabication.
      Except for a short biz trip, it’s been 50+ years since
      I’ve been on the ground there.
      Emendations completed.
      Where have all the diphthongs gone…long time passing ?

      Jan 5, 2010 at 12:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.14   park rose bang

      Slipped into a crack…

      Jan 5, 2010 at 2:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.15   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      Dear Ms. Park Rose:

      Please see enclosed money gram for $5.32 and SASE. Am excited to receive macrame owl. Will leave color choice up to you (just plz not the color of the sun – hurts my eyes to stare directly at!).

      Yours truly,
      Miss Shackson, aka, newly converted macraphile

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.16   infant tyrone bang

      For only $2.99 more you can upgrade to the edible macaroni version,
      so when you surrender to the all-consuming urge to consume it all,
      you can wear two hats, that of macraphile and that of macraphage.

      Jan 6, 2010 at 10:00 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.17   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      AH HA HA HA HA HA I can’t believe you were able to successfully fit macrophage into that comment. 11 pts, TY.

      Jan 7, 2010 at 11:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   sam

    if the man actually was peeping wouldn’t her reaction be quite appropriate?

    Jan 3, 2010 at 10:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Hmmm

    You gotta love any note that includes the words, “Bitch Please”!

    Jan 3, 2010 at 11:53 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Canthz_B bang

      It did add 15 gay creds…

      Jan 4, 2010 at 12:13 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #35.2   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      Creeper
      health: +4
      strength: +2
      agility: +8
      armor: +5
      gayishness: +15

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:52 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Geek Goddess bang

    $20 says the cat’s name is Taboo.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 12:00 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Julia

      Maybe it’s a Peeing Tom cat.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 10:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   funny video blog

    How embarrassing for her! Sorry lady… epic fail.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   sushimwah

    hahaha…
    makes me look stupid
    for laughing out loud!!

    Jan 4, 2010 at 4:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Chicken Underwear

    the first one is not so passive.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 7:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   adam

    It’s pretty easy to play the I’m gay card here. Seems a little too convinient.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 7:40 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   park rose bang

      I know!! I’m sure he’s just talking about the drying rack and ice cooler she had in her kitchen. The utensils she’d picked up at Walmart which didn’t match the decor at all. It would break the heart of any hetero man to see the complete disregard she had for matching her cutlery, crockery and so on to the interior of her house.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 8:49 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Ann

    When you’re laying nude and spread eagle facing your unobscured first floor window, well…I don’t really feel sorry for you if someone catches a glimpse of the goods.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 8:39 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   TippingCows

      That was my first thought – I mean, in order for someone to see one’s womanly naughty bits, you HAVE to be displaying it for all to see. So either she used the term incorrectly to make a point, and she was indeed just walking around naked as the gay man pointed out, or she was giving herself an exam with a vibrating speculum on the couch that happens to directly face the window.
      Either way, she was askin’ for it!

      Jan 4, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      Yeah, lady bits are, by nature, “in-ees,” not “out-ees.” I’m not suggesting that she’s accusing him of peering down her peephole, but, in order to catch a glimpse of more than just fluff, you can’t just be moseying about.

      Unless you’re sort of flappy.

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:56 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   park rose bang

    My funky fonts and rainbow colours trump your highlights any day, anyway, anyhow. Bitch. :roll:

    And…My Big Fucking Roll Eyes have 20/20 vision. That’s why they’re big, and eye-fucking things they shouldn’t be. Illiterate – the new euphemism for blind. Which I’m not, and which you don’t have. Which is why I can judge, so precisely, the measure of your rack and cooter.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   infant tyrone bang

      *Which I’m not, and which you don’t have.*

      If that were any more Gracefully Slick, you’d hafta swap that kitty icon for a wuvvable white wabbit.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 12:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

      Your rack and cooter have been weighed, they have been measured, and they have been found twanting.

      Jan 6, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   Tasha

    This pairing of signs leads me to believe that these two people ought to either befriend one another or enter a cage match.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 9:12 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   snokful

    Team Cooter. I was all for Team Creeper til he let forth with a misogynist rant at the end. Uh yeah man, you just couldn’t gracefully accept you were caught out, could you?

    Jan 4, 2010 at 10:29 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   unholyghost2003 bang

      hmmm Where is the misogyny?

      *Team Creeper*

      Jan 4, 2010 at 12:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   Ashley

      Agreed, not seeing the misogyny here.

      Team Creeper!

      Jan 4, 2010 at 1:28 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.3   aaa bang

      Come on guys, didn’t you know that telling people to not walk around naked with their blinds open and calling somebody’s vagina ugly is misogyny? Geeze!

      Jan 4, 2010 at 1:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.4   beanster

      non sexist men think all boobs are hot…

      wait.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 4:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   TheFamilyMan

    How is peeing outside of a window going to aid in one’s quest for missing pussy?

    Jan 4, 2010 at 1:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Perhaps after she see what he has to work with she will help him find that pussy…

      Jan 4, 2010 at 9:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   Ashley

    My favorite part is the original note: everything’s in CAPS except for erection.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   aaa bang

    I would be Team Gay Neighbor, but he totally failed Your vs. You’re. He also crapped up Wasn’t vs. Weren’t. So, uh, yeah, Team aaa. Because I am the shit. Fer serious. I guess.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Chris

    Epic.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 3:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   felix

    Everyone know this lovely little ditty?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thFjTo6r4gg

    Jan 4, 2010 at 5:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   pilgrimchick

    The response was probably the most brilliant thing I’ve read in a long time. Who knew what one should read into the color of a hoodie?

    Jan 4, 2010 at 7:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   park rose bang

    Once oi rolleyesd oi waz never gonna foind moi koitty, oi goive up…

    Jan 4, 2010 at 9:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Canthz_B bang

    Hey, listen lady, I was just looking for my cat that night.
    Should it matter how much catnip I just happened to sprinkle under your bedroom window that day?

    Jan 4, 2010 at 10:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Crystal

    He starts out so nice…and then he stewed on it. BTDT

    I’m still on team Creeper though.

    Jan 4, 2010 at 11:21 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      This happens alot to artists. The perfect painting ruined by over doing it.

      Jan 4, 2010 at 11:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   Miss Shackson if You're Nasty

    brevity is the soul of wit
    quit while you’re ahead
    less is more
    stfu

    Jan 6, 2010 at 10:05 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Me

    Good points, I think I will definitely subscribe! I’ll go and read some more! What do you see the future of this being?

    Jan 8, 2010 at 7:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   jamsy

    Err..his cat wandered into her bush?

    Just how big is her bush exactly?

    Jan 8, 2010 at 2:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Tommyboy

    err… he was looking for his pussy(cat) after all, wasn’t he?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 4:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Ellen

    The Luxury Spot has posted this as if it’s their own: http://www.theluxuryspot.com/2010/01/11/peeping-tom-the-gay-edition/ – without credit given to this site. Are there rules about this? Or even just common courtesy?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 12:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   shesajem

    My response if I was the girl: “Sweet a free gift voucher – I should walk around naked more often.”

    Jan 13, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   lachupa

    did he find the cat?

    Jan 15, 2010 at 2:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #61   Funniest notes of 2010 | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] The Creeper [...]

    Dec 31, 2010 at 12:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Next time, I’ll burn the mail. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper [...]

    Jun 23, 2011 at 10:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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