Pitchfork gave this performance by Patrick (“guy in a band”) and A (“friend of guy in band”) — a 7.2. Be sure to read from the bottom up!
related: perfect for each other
FILED UNDER: Facebook · Oops?
Hiding in the back?
Was he looking for a pussy?
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:04 pm rating: 5
Yes, in the bushes.
Jan 6, 2010 at 11:59 pm rating: 13
It’s okay though. He’s obviously gay.
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:38 am rating: 11
How do you miss someone in a sun-colored hoodie?
Jan 8, 2010 at 12:20 pm rating: 6
Good morning, dear. Sex with you was great last night.
I didn’t get home until two and I went right to sleep.
Imagine my surprise when I noticed I was screwing your best friend in your stead.
“A” for adultery.
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:07 pm rating: 109
Way to knock this one out of the park.
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:25 pm rating: 5
Adam, you’re going to make me do a Sally Field up in here!
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:32 pm rating: 2
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:38 pm rating: 1
Not sure much about Sally Field. A quick google search shows that she did playboy in the 80′s.
So if thats what you mean by doing a Sally Field, i’ll be watching my news stands for the Canthz B centerfold.
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:35 am rating: 6
“You like me! You really like me!”
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:46 am rating: 3
Holy crap, I’m delurking to ask; is Adam making a legitimate attempt at a joke? Good job.
Jan 7, 2010 at 2:08 pm rating: 2
“A” for effort?
What a retort!
You’re a real Rock’n'Rolla!
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:37 pm rating: 3
True friend—One who can tell whether you are on stage or not.
Scum-bag—One who lies about attending your show.
Wannabe musician—One who goes more than a week without a gig.
Jan 6, 2010 at 10:48 pm rating: 29
I’m thinking it’s more like “I” for idiot.
Jan 6, 2010 at 11:14 pm rating: 10
“B” for bullshitter?
Jan 6, 2010 at 11:26 pm rating: 7
“S” for Shenanigans?
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:15 am rating: 8
“D” for Dissembler.
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:40 am rating: 0
“F” for Fallacious.
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:46 am rating: 0
“U” for Unrepentant.
Who’ll bid a “C”?
Can I have a “C” please?
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:54 am rating: 1
“T” for Troll.
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:02 am rating: 3
“C” for Crouching Obsequiously (in the back.)
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:10 am rating: 12
So which one was he? The Hidden Dragon or the Crouching Tiger?
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:21 am rating: 3
(Nice HP reference GG!)
F for fhief! …Er I mean framed!
Jan 7, 2010 at 5:10 pm rating: 3
5.8 That’d be Doucehing Tiger.
Jan 8, 2010 at 12:15 am rating: 2
AC/DC for A Couple of Douche Canoes.
Jan 6, 2010 at 11:49 pm rating: 43
Funny… but seriously Tim, don’t be messing with Acka Dacka!
Jan 6, 2010 at 11:59 pm rating: 7
I really want to be able to work “Douche Canoe” into my daily conversations.
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:35 am rating: 8
I like to start with “I’m a …” followed by DC… works for me in many conversations, Sparkles!
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:11 am rating: 3
@Sparkles23: Ditto. Hey! We should make it our new years resolution!
Jan 7, 2010 at 5:11 pm rating: 0
so has the submitter been trying to figure out this sequence of comments for the last 2 and 3/4 years? or is he trying to tell us he’s a facebook early adapter?
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:07 am rating: 10
Adapter? Can he change it to be less irritating?
Jan 7, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 5
They don’t say for nothing that quit while you are ahead. or in this case quit while at least knickers are still on.
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:08 am rating: 2
I would have answerd: “Yeah, I saw you there, didn’t wanna talk to you though, since you’re an idiot and all, you understand, right? But hey, thanks for showing up ;)”.
Jan 7, 2010 at 12:24 am rating: 5
This is simply hilarious, how unlucky for A. I really feel for him. But that was funny.
Jan 7, 2010 at 4:28 am rating: 2
“I” for inconceivable that A has made it to adulthood.
There are so many illogical explanations on how this occurred. My only hope is that A friended his parents and they feel some sense of shame for breeding.
We probably should congratulate A for being able to log into FB by 10:04 am the next day.
I think A must have been my former assistant who quit to become a professional ballroom dancer and is rumored to teach pole dancing. She wasn’t big on details.
Jan 7, 2010 at 4:37 am rating: 3
… is really confused.
Jan 7, 2010 at 6:09 am rating: 0
Did you read from the bottom up as directed, Gavin?
Jan 7, 2010 at 6:47 am rating: 11
So, he thought he saw a show of a band of which this person is a member but it was actually another band and he wasn’t aware of it? Or he was aware of it? I have no idea what is going on here or why it’s interesting other than maybe he knew he didn’t see the band but tried to say so anyways? Is that it?
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:28 am rating: 0
Try this sequence:
1) “A” never went to the venue, but told Patrick he(?) did.
2) Patrick tells “A” the gig isn’t til next Thursday.
3) “A” waits for venue office to open, gets name of band he *didn’t* see last night + mssgs Patrick
4) Patrick assigns final grade
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:42 am rating: 13
now if you could only solve the mystery of Bermuda Triangle…
Jan 7, 2010 at 3:31 pm rating: 3
If I send you my Paypal info … ??
Jan 7, 2010 at 5:01 pm rating: 4
Elvis needs boats! Elvis needs boats! Elvis needs boats!
Jan 8, 2010 at 12:24 am rating: 2
Nothing beats a passive-aggressive “but thanks.”
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:33 am rating: 4
“Butt thanks” does.
Jan 7, 2010 at 7:51 am rating: 7
“Butt stanks” does, too. Butt I may want to avoid the scatological, but thanks.
Jan 7, 2010 at 8:21 am rating: 4
“butt skanks” are the very worst but we don’t talk about them.
Jan 7, 2010 at 5:10 pm rating: 2
So assuming my submission is funny enough, I can look forward to seeing it in 2012-ish?
Jan 7, 2010 at 9:46 am rating: 2
Not any more.
Jan 7, 2010 at 9:53 am rating: 10
What’s the matter with you? Tink? Your voice is so low now I can hardly hear you. What’s that? You believe that you could get well again… if children believed in fairies.
Jan 8, 2010 at 12:29 pm rating: 1
Your band sucks hardcore
“Actiondale” is a suck name
I can’t fucking read
Jan 7, 2010 at 10:11 am rating: 5
I Googled Actiondale and evidently they’re a “pop punk” (i.e. pussified punk) band. Evidently they also can’t write music very well and have no idea how to sing in tune.
Jan 7, 2010 at 10:18 am rating: 4
Am I the only person who immediately thought of “A” as a female?
Jan 7, 2010 at 10:20 am rating: 1
Personally, I thought of “A” as a genderless mutant blob, so yes.
Jan 7, 2010 at 10:30 am rating: 9
I thought ‘A’ was a pussy… Oh, wait…
Jan 7, 2010 at 10:55 am rating: 1
Not passive aggressive.
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:18 pm rating: 1
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:37 pm rating: 5
Troll fail. *yawn* every other day somebody comes along claiming not PA PAN. this is getting old yaar. be creative, get smart before you pose as a troll. Instead of invoking anger you guy merely bore us.
Jan 7, 2010 at 1:50 pm rating: 2
I agree. Lighten up and stop killing the fun. There isn’t going to be a quiz next week.
Even if something isn’t dictionary def. PA, it still was amusing enough for 40+ comments.
Jan 7, 2010 at 3:39 pm rating: 2
I’m not a troll. I am a regular reader of this site, and I know about the generous use of the term. This post, however, is just a funny exchange between friends and does not even fit in the guidelines you’ve set for yourselves. This should be posted on lamebook.com.
Also, 40+ comments means very little when it’s the same bunch of people carrying on hundreds of conversations having nothing to do with the original post.
Jan 9, 2010 at 12:21 am rating: 2
If you think the sequence in #13.1 makes sense,
then I suppose it slips in under the radar by virtue (?) of the final ” ‘A’ for effort”, which is clearly not meant to be taken literally/positively.
So…maybe it was just a slow news day…
It was a slow day,
And the sun was beating
On the soldiers by the side of the road,
There was a bright light,
A shattering of shop windows
The bomb in the baby carriage
Was wired to the radio…
Hey, can’t have a 23-car pile up on the Interstate every day, right ?
Jan 9, 2010 at 12:45 am rating: 0
Here’s a funny story. Actually, not so much funny as it is long. Years back I told the guy I had recently dumped that I would go see his band’s big gig. The ex was kinda a creep, and before the break up he kept accusing me of flirting with this other guy. The night of the show came around and I showed up at the wrong club. Guess who’s band was playing? The other guy’s. 10 years later and he and I are still together.
I’m sorry, you may return to something humorous now.
Jan 7, 2010 at 2:19 pm rating: 16
Aw, I like it!
Jan 7, 2010 at 4:06 pm rating: 2
So…he went to the wrong concert?
Why is this passive aggressive?
Jan 7, 2010 at 3:32 pm rating: 0
Sometimes, Cartoid, you either get it or you don’t. No amount of explaining is going to help.
Jan 7, 2010 at 4:05 pm rating: 5
I think the point is that he didn’t go to any gig, but told his ‘friend’ that he did.
His friend gave him an ‘A’ for effort, when he really meant ‘A’ for a**hole for lying about going to my gig!
Seems a little PA to me.
Jan 7, 2010 at 4:16 pm rating: 5
Okay, for those of you who don’t get it:
A guy didn’t go to his friend’s performance but lied and said he was there but in the back.
The friend then tells him that there WAS no gig. Therefore, he didn’t need to lie and say he was there.
Instead of copping out, the original poster then claims he was, in fact, at a gig, and that the band’s name and location were identical to his friend’s gigs.
The friend gives this lie an A for effort, meaning “nice try,” or “close but no cigar.”
Jan 7, 2010 at 8:05 pm rating: 2
“Instead of copping out, the original poster then claims he was, in fact, at a gig, and that the band’s name and location were identical to his friend’s gigs.”
“…a band named actiondale IN YOUR STEAD…”
He’s saying he went to the right venue, but the band was wrong. Again, another lie on A’s part however. Double fail FTL. Good game, A. Good game.
Jan 9, 2010 at 8:29 pm rating: 0
Friday the 13th.
Jan 9, 2010 at 2:52 pm rating: 1
— The Beast Among Us
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You call that punctuation?