Kitchen vigilantes

January 11th, 2010 · 94 comments

Vaguely fishy notes like this one from Toronto are pretty common around office kitchens…

No fish or fish related products in the microwave

…but I’ve never seen a note that gets right to the point quite like this one from Amber in San Francisco.

SPECIALLY THE MEXICAN

related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

FILED UNDER: fish · kitchen · microwave · odor · office


94 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Escape Goat

    #2: Was the middle line written to mock a stereotypical Mexican? “Specially” (‘Specially) and and ‘afterwards taste Mexican.”

    Sounds like a person trying to sound like Ricky from “I Love Lucy.”

    Jan 11, 2010 at 6:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Ham

      Which wouldn’t work well at all… because Ricky was Cuban. Heyoooo

      Jan 11, 2010 at 6:18 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   anglophile bang

      Well, if they meant to mock hispanics, they got it backward, because most Spanish cognates of English words that start with an s and a hard consonant add an initial e.

      special → especial
      school → escuela
      space → espacio
      Spanish → Español

      stupid → estúpido

      You get the picture.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Mo®

      BabaLoooooo!!!!!!!

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Escape Goat

      anglophile … EXACTLY my point. I wrote “stereotypical Mexican” because I wanted to highlight the fact that an ignorant person would use that phrase. I am sure the idiot would not be able to distinguish between a Cuban dish or a Mexican dish, for example. That person would simply here a person speaking Spanish and assume the person was Mexican.

      Bottom line: I think my point was missed–my bad.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 7:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   anglophile bang

      I suspect the note writer just can’t spell, actually. I like to take an Occam’s Razor point of view.

      I mostly just wanted to bring in estúpido into the conversation. ;)

      Jan 12, 2010 at 8:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Bunnee

      Your sly wit and zingeresque quality of your post is why you’ll get my eternal thumb, Glo. :)

      Jan 12, 2010 at 9:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   whatyouarenot

      estupido usually has no problem leaping into the conversation without outside assistance.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 2:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Umm...

      Oh goodie, I can warm up some chittlins for work.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   oi bang

    Does this smell like Fish? *breathes in* yes kinda
    Hey Jason does it smell like Fish? yes kinda.
    I don’t have any doubt now. I am gonna put it in the microwave and enjoy it.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 6:11 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Critical Grass bang

      Nothing like a clean concious, huh?

      Jan 11, 2010 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   bowloftoast bang

      Rule of thumb: If any of your female coworkers asks you if anything ‘smells like fish’, scratch them off your potential dating list.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 7:06 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Tim Kolb

      Maybe it sat next to a fish in the store.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 7:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Canthz_B bang

      Or in school. Fish love to learn, they’re often found in schools.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:50 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin’ basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing. And I won’t put it in the Microwave…

      Jan 11, 2010 at 11:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Hmmm

      I think we’re gonna need a bigger boat. Or microwave.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 1:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   beanster

      RILLLLAAAAAa
      (we’re going to need a bigger boat)

      you are my favourite. this is my favourite. thumbs times a million.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   oi bang

      If any male (coworker or not) follows rule of thumbs in dating game scratch them off your dating list. ;)

      Jan 12, 2010 at 1:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Gandalf

      ” Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women!”

      Farewell and adieu to you, Spanish ladies,
      Farewell and adieu to you, ladies of Spain;
      For we have received orders to sail to old England,
      But we hope in a short time to see you again.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 3:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Wade bang

    So… are you saying my Old El Paso Fish Taco Supreme is not welcome in your microwave?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Wade, you can heat your fish in my microwave anytime…

      Jan 11, 2010 at 6:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   anglophile bang

      Maybe the two negatives will cancel each other out?

      Jan 12, 2010 at 7:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   se

    I guess that means no girlfriends in the microwave?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   jetjackson bang

      “Does my girlfriend smell like fish?”

      “No, but she tastes like Chicken.”

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Woman on the Verge bang

    Is this like 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon? The fish sat in the fridge next to the oranges. The oranges are from Florida. Florida is where Cher lives. Cher was once married to Sonny Bono. Sonny was a Scientologist. Tom Cruise is scientologist. Tom Cruise starred with Kevin Bacon in A Few Good Men. So, your fish actually smells like Kevin Bacon. Microwave away.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 6:43 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Wade bang

      p.s. – Bacon is life!

      Jan 11, 2010 at 6:48 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Critical Grass bang

      Fish with Bacon… Yeah, sounds good.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 6:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Tim Kolb

      Bacon makes everything better!

      Jan 11, 2010 at 7:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Then you enjoyed Tremors?

      Jan 11, 2010 at 7:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Palomon bang

      Dude, seriously.
      You could bacon on wedding cake and it’ll make it better.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   texpenguin

    Wish I could post this in our kitchen (which is 10 feet from my desk). Nothing worse than smelling cat food all day!

    Jan 11, 2010 at 7:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Tim Kolb

      That stinks but I can think of a few things worse than the smelling cat food all day.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 7:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Fridge Pirate

    The uncovered mexican fish in the microwave was fucking delicious!

    Jan 11, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   oi

      Where were you yesterday FP? There was a perfect PAN for you and both choices were excellent.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   jetjackson bang

      Eso pescado estuvo puta delicioso!

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   MAMARILLA2 bang

    *struggling to rein in indignity and rage* Well, of course, because foriegn spices such as garlic and cumin, and strange meats like ground beef and chicken, and odd sides like pinto beans and rice, might contaminate their bland , white-bread food stuffs….
    (pinche, condenado gringos, estan todos locos)

    Jan 11, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

      Huele como pescado…

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Wade bang

      Me gusta la comida mexicana… con o sin marisco.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Critical Grass bang

      - El pescado estaba muy sabroso.
      - Gracias, yo lo hice sóla.

      *First sentence of my spanish book in the 8th grade.*

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Canthz_B bang

      Hola.

      Sorry that’s about it folks. ;-)

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Mo®

      Aw ‘Rilla.
      Mi amor quiero cocinar algo con usted. Para ti mi amor mi hambre no puede ser saciada.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Ay Papi, llegaste con un holor de pescado y comida mexicana. No es mi tipo de perfume.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Mo® bang

      Oh, perdón, es mi error. Sólo quería complacer a usted.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Critical Grass bang

      Debías intentar ajo y cebolla la próxima vez. ;)

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Mo® bang

      La comida es el amor. A corazón abierto, cocina completa, la vida! :grin:

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Digame con quien estas calentano este comida de amor….yo sospecho que es essa puta en tu oficina… Yo soy la unica que debe de cocinar para usted…

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   Mo® bang

      Mi amor es sólo que yo cocino y el hambre para.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   Mo® bang

      Imploro tu boca, tu voz, tu pelo.
      Silencio, muertos de hambre que merodean por las calles.
      El pan no nutre a mí, me inquieta el amanecer,
      Yo busco el sonido líquido de tus pasos todo el día.
      Tengo hambre de tu risa elegante,
      Por sus manos el color de los granos silvestres,
      Tengo hambre de la pálida piedra de tus uñas,
      Quiero comer tu piel como una almendra entera.

      Quiero comer el rayo de sol quema en su belleza,
      La nariz, soberano de tu rostro arrogante,
      Quiero comer la sombra fugaz de tus pestañas,

      Y camino hambriento, oliendo el crepúsculo
      ¿Busca usted, para su corazón caliente,
      Como un puma en el desierto estéril.

      Neruda was a cannibal??? :???:

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.13   Critical Grass bang

      Celos es el perfume del amor, Rilla. No seas tan posesiva. Hay TiMo para nosotras todas. ;)

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.14   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Perdoname mi aMore,,No debia ser tan celosa.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.15   Wade bang

      P.D. – Tocino es la vida.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 9:51 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.16   Mo® bang

      La verdad es que habla con este. Un salud a tocino!

      Jan 12, 2010 at 12:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.17   park rose bang

      ‘rilla, you know the strange thing? You don’t even need to microwave a peanut butter sandwich (smooth, not crunchy).

      Jan 12, 2010 at 5:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Jen

    I am the only one that noticed they used “specially” instead of “especially”…??? wtf?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Look up.. :oops:

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Wade bang

      I don’t guess the first comment really counts. Now if it had been written by a Scape Goat… :lol:

      Jan 11, 2010 at 8:47 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   GhostWriter bang

      As you must know, most Spanish cognates of English words that start with an s and a hard consonant add an initial e…

      Jan 12, 2010 at 10:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Halley

    At my work, the only microwave sin you can commit is the dreaded buttery-flavored popcorn. You get that shit duct taped to your shirt if you pop it in my office. The stench.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   sika

      Are you serious? That’s the best smelling thing that one could ever put in a micro. I would only mind if they didn’t share. See that’s what makes it so good. When you pop it, everyone smells it and wants some…and there is plenty for everyone!

      Jan 12, 2010 at 7:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    The funny thing about the second sign is that its creator goes to Wendy’s for lunch every day and returns to the office with some good old, American chili.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      “Chili.”

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Mo®

    What about cream of hobo socks soup? Is that okay?
    I guess my shawarma will be okay then…

    Jan 11, 2010 at 9:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Ay, I got a bit o’Haggis to heat up fer me meal. I dinna mind sharin’wit ya.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Mo® bang

      Aye lass now yew know a way to a man’s heart!

      Jan 11, 2010 at 9:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Critical Grass bang

    Wanna see the writer’s head explode? Just heat up some gilled fish tacos in that microwave and watch the commotion while you enjoy your hot, delicious dish.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      You could heat up some Pallella…or Bouliabaise… Just sayin’.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      I’m taking Chittlin’s to work tomorrow…they’ll beg for microwaved fish after that olfactory assault!!

      Jan 11, 2010 at 11:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   amuse

    This is what i like to do for the fridge freek crowd @ work.
    1. Save a container and bag from some freekin very expensive restaurant…Keep a business card, menu or coupon and place it in the bag for temptation.
    2. Put some leftover fancy-shaped pasta in the carryout, covered artfully with some cheap 9 lives catfood, and decorate with some piped on mayonaisse. PRESENTATION IS ALL! Place a bit of pate style catfood on a lettuce leaf with a cracker or two next to the “entree”.
    3. Place it prominently in the office fridge before leaving for the day.
    4.Start prairie dogging at about 10 AM the next day! The food thieves usually strike early.
    (not as mean as it sounds, i work in a .gov place.)

    Jan 11, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   snarky

    Isn’t ceviche served cold? and raw?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Critical Grass bang

      Yes, yes it is. My bad. Thank God for the edit button, huh? ;)

      Jan 11, 2010 at 10:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Now I’m afraid that ichthyophobia may be contagious. I’ll have to grill those salmon steaks before I catch it.
    I can always take some to work for lunch.
    Sure, I’ll just nuke it for a few secs.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   trigger

    To be fair to the fish-hater, it could, perhaps, be due to allergies that she/he requests no fish in the microwave.
    Though that could have been included in the note, if that was the case.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 11:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

      It could also be that the fish hater is a tool.

      Wait- fish is bad, but limburger is okay? My hubby will be right over.

      Jan 11, 2010 at 11:23 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   anglophile bang

      Look, I’m as big a fish-hater as anyone you’re going to meet. And yeah, fish heated in the microwave stinks. But I’m not going to entertain for one second that anyone allergic to fish is going to get fish molecules on their food just because someone used the microwave to heat up their fish. No sir.

      Also, give me fish in the microwave over cauliflower any day.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 7:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      And with one post, glo brings us back to fecal mist via fish molecules.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 9:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   hogarth

      I’m the one who submitted the fish sign, which is actually the /second/ anti-fish notice posted by our microwave. The first one says “PLEASE DO NOT HEAT ANY FISH OR FISH-RELATED PRODUCTS IN THE MICROWAVE”. But apparently that one didn’t work because someone microwaved some fish and made the entire (open plan) office smell like burning garbage.

      Hence the second, expanded sign.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 11:08 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   GhostWriter bang

      …fillet the perch, lay over bed of cauliflower, microwave for 3 minutes. Serve with Pinot Blanc.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 11:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Sparkles23 bang

    Fish-related. I think he’s my third cousin.

    Jan 11, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   park rose bang

      Gil?

      Jan 12, 2010 at 5:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Critical Grass bang

    No Mexican food, or fish… but Indian food is still okay, right?

    Jan 11, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Adam

      nice

      Jan 12, 2010 at 1:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Critical Grass bang

      Thank you, Adam.

      Jan 12, 2010 at 4:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Isobel

    It’s like that episode of Supernatural (Season 4, ‘It’s a Terrible Life’) where the man microwaves his head and there’s a little sign on the microwave saying ‘don’t heat up your fish in here – it stinks!’. . .

    Jan 12, 2010 at 4:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Deana

    How offensive. Poor spelling as well.

    Jan 12, 2010 at 6:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Havingfitz

    What if I agree to leave my sardines inside the tin when microwaving them?

    Jan 12, 2010 at 7:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   John

    I have my own microwave at my apt. but I looked in the common one by happenstance last week, and sweet jesus there is a LAYER of baked on shit. Like an entire new interior lining of the microwave consisting of (probably) hamburger helper, taco beef, marinara, maybe some alfredo… How hard is it to cover your dish?

    Sometimes you just gotta smack people in the face with a sign.

    Jan 12, 2010 at 10:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   GhostWriter bang

    How could that tiny fish make anything smell bad?

    It looks like a baby minnow laid atop an almond sliver.

    Jan 12, 2010 at 11:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Cartoid

    hahahaha, “specially”

    wait…does “taste mexican” mean “Taste, Mexican!” or does it mean “Taste by Mexican”.

    Jan 12, 2010 at 1:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   GhostWriter bang

    Evolutionarily speaking, aren’t all land animals fish-related products?

    Jan 12, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   MW

    If you can’t spell especially and handle basic subject-verb agreement, you don’t deserve your job or even lunch.

    Jan 12, 2010 at 2:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   sika

    I would be freakin’ elated if my bland ass food ended up tasting like Mexican food. That would make my day. I would also enjoy an office that smelled like Mexican food.

    Fish…well…that goes without saying. I thought it was just a universal rule that you never microwave fish in the presence of any other human that’s not also going to be eating it.

    Jan 12, 2010 at 7:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   nikki

    If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go microwave a geoduck.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Dagny

    “…ask yourself, “Does it smell like fish?”

    ….then eat it.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 10:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Diego

    That remembers me of a Dilbert strip…
    http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-11-02/

    Jan 30, 2010 at 5:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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