Honey bunches of “hands off!”

January 13th, 2010 · 111 comments

“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.

Grace:  Since you are not capable of properly closing a cereal box, please pick another selection for breakfast (yogurt, breakfast bar, fruit) until further notice. [Stepmom]

Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?

related: cereal killer

FILED UNDER: cereal · food · Michigan · Moms & Dads


111 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Wade bang

    I guess Grace’s mom forgot who will be setting the breakfast menu when she is in the nursing home. It always pays to take the long view.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   situational lefty

    Guess we know who’s Cinderella in this family.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 3:36 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   matt

      i guess we also know who just hit menopause

      Jan 13, 2010 at 9:40 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   ClearlyDemented

    Team Step-Mom. I think it’s perfectly logical to deny a kid food after repeated actions of this type. Sure, you might think (rightfully so) that it has absolutely no consequence to the quality of the cereal itself. But do you know how many adults are blinded each year because of cardboard cuts caused by untethered box tops? It’s tragic that more people aren’t aware of this growing trend. Personally, I put Velcro on all my cereal boxes as soon as I bring them home from the store, and I encourage you all to do the same. God bless!

    Jan 13, 2010 at 3:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   LordOfThePants

      I just pour myself one bowlful and toss the rest out. I take no chances.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 9:37 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   rossy

    She could have just used some of that handy tape to repair the box. I guess it just seemed more sensible to her to use it to be a bitch instead. Nothing like an uncomfortable household…

    Jan 13, 2010 at 3:48 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Tim Kolb

      Mommy dearest would have used metal coat hangers.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 6:46 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Gandalf

      ” NO MORE METAL HANGERS!”

      Jan 14, 2010 at 1:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Did you scrub the bathroom floor today? DID YOU?
      Yes, Mommie.
      Yes, Mommie what?
      Yes, Mommie Dearest.
      When I told you to call me that, I wanted you to mean it.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Woman on the Verge bang

    Hello? It’s a stinking cereal box. Mom needs a few Xanax in her Cornflakes.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Gandalf

      Maybe someone pissed in Mom’s cornflakes?

      Jan 13, 2010 at 4:16 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Melodie

      That never would’ve happened if the box had been closed properly.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 6:37 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   aaa bang

    I’m just wondering how the hell one even manages to tear the tab off the box while closing it. Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:12 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      My kids can’t open a box without mass destruction. It’s annoying, but it’s just a box.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 4:18 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   aaa bang

      Tearing it when opening it understandable. Danielle said that Grace kept tearing the tab off when closing it. Which is just plain weird.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 7:10 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Local honey

      I think she was tearing off the box top things for her school. She was just trying to do her part for Pete’s sake!

      Jan 14, 2010 at 9:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Bunnee

      I think she could possibly be tearing that pre-scored line that you tuck the tab into when closing it. I do it all the time. But I’m still allowed to eat cereal. Poor Grace.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 10:35 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   vervain

      I’m rather mystified by the tab-ripping, too. If Grace can’t master “insert tab A into slot B” without causing wanton destruction, I shudder to think how she’ll fare once she hits puberty. Better start running now, boys!

      That said, Stepmom is being a bitch. Kids are kids – they break stuff. Deal.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   oi bang

    Mom:
    Since you aren’t capable of parenting please shut up until further notice.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm   rating: 104  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Gandalf

    Apparently in her zeal to teach Grace a lesson in proper breakfast cereal box etiquette, Mom has effectively sealed the box, forcing everyone to abstain from the whole grain goodness within.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Woman on the Verge bang

    Grace forgot to mention that her stepsister is two years old. She will continue to rip the cereal box until someone figures out that she can’t read PA notes… or until her mother remembers that the kid can’t feed herself.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:22 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Gandalf

    I get the sense that Mom is one glass of spilled milk away from a 5150 evaluation.

    I’m not judgin’, I’m just sayin’.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   matt

    I hate cereal boxes, they make so much noise when you have to roll up the bag inside and close the top, especially for those midnight snacks, mom could just put the cereal in one of those airtight plastic containers made for the purpose.

    then again, she sounds like the kind of bitch who loves hearing that midnight sound of someone (grace) cheating on her new fad diet.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:24 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Umm...

    Now I’m really curious to know what mom’s name is. I’m guessing it’s Tact.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   se

      or maybe Tactless..
      um, not sure why I also used a capital T

      Jan 13, 2010 at 4:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   AuntyBron

      Because it’s a proper name, silly.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Canthz_B bang

      A more proper name than Vaginita, that’s for sure!

      No lie…I saw that on a claim form a couple of years ago.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 12:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Umm...

      Well, if Grace is not so gracefull opening a cereal box then well. oh never mind. If it needs to be explained…

      Jan 14, 2010 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   G

    Huh. My husband doesn’t even close the box, nor roll up the crinkly bag. I didn’t realize that snippy notes were an option!

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:55 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   se

      Is his name Grace too?

      Jan 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Steve bang

      @G: They are only an option if you want a snippy husband right back.

      Unless he already is one. If that is the case, snip away. Couldn’t possibly do any more harm, right?

      Jan 14, 2010 at 9:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Adam

    The step-sister can’t close a cereal box? Doesn’t surprise me since the submitter can’t seem to operate a camera correctly.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   anglophile bang

      Why, Adam! That was positively snarky! I think you’ve been keeping company with some not-so-classy people. :(

      Jan 14, 2010 at 7:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Critical Grass bang

      Very disappointing, isn’t it?
      You try to raise them well and that’s what you get… That’s just a shame, Adam.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 7:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Oh, Adam, I’m so proud of you. Consider yourself thumbed soundly for the snark.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 8:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   ShockedISay

      Oooh… That just sounds dirty!

      If had known it was going to be THAT kind of a party…

      Jan 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Jonathan

      Called dibs already. How you liking the mashed potatoes? *cheery smile*

      Jan 14, 2010 at 8:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   mystic_eye_cda

      Its less a camera fail, and more a language fail. See cameras have a mode called “macro mode” but most people don’t know what a “macro” is.

      If only she knew what macro meant this photo would be in focus (well unless the lighting prevented using a high enough shutter speed)

      If only someone were paid to teach our kids English.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Can we pay someone to teach our kids how to open and close cereal boxes?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 10:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   captain obvious

    Wouldn’t it be easier to use the plastic cereal boxes for a few months or years? The cardboard ones suck and I’m incapable of opening them myself too.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   AKS

      YES. Those plastic cereal canisters with the lids are the bomb. AND you can buy the “off-brand” version of the Cheerios or whatever, and then destroy the box before anyone catches on.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 12:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Hmmm

    I just can’t get enough of that new delicious Super Sugar Passive Aggressive Crispy Oat cereal! :)

    Now with 20% more Sarcasm!

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   DogBitez

    Step-mom is obviously not a morning person. And a bit too anal about her cereal boxes. I feel for Grace. She can come here and have all the cereal she wants — I really don’t care if she tears off the box tabs.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   fan bang

    The bitch typed it!

    Grace listens as stepmom goes through the ritual of humilating Grace once again.

    tappity…tap….tap….tap…

    Grace has a few rituals of her own she’d like to try. Grace will do that right…

    news at 11:00.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:20 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   fan bang

    Mom,

    I don’t care for those selections, quit wasting time writing notes and make me a proper breakfast!

    Love, Grace

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Natalie

      “Cook me some eggs!”

      Jan 14, 2010 at 7:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   jetjackson bang

    My stepmother was in the military and I suffered similar pains until she had her own children. Forcing 7 pounds of homo sapien sapien out of your vagina tends to loosen you up a bit.

    Edit: Perhaps the submitter was a cesarean…

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   park rose bang

    Bows out with grace until further notice*

    *i.e. Next break time. Where’s the eek oddess, by the way?

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Geek Goddess bang

      You rang?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 5:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   park rose bang

      Umm, I think a few people need disciplining on a few threads here and there. Particularly the person from Louisiana on the next note, and that Badass Vegan Motherfucker from the last note, and BowlofToast because he’s been ripping off the equivalent of tabs and enjoying them too (detailed on the next note). As for me, I’m just the messenger, and you know, you should never harm the messenger.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 5:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Sol

    Jeez Mom. Buy some tupperware and take a pill.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   jetjackson bang

      Those tupperware parties get pretty out of hand. I they are already on pills.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Jill

    I love how she has to list other breakfast options. Grace is obviously too stupid to live.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:54 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   anglophile bang

    I note they hail from Michigan. I bet they’re from Battle Creek, where cereal is Serious Fucking Business.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 5:58 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Kimberly

      And that cereal better be Kellogg.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 11:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Saffron Lee

    You’d think that any man that would let his daughter be treated like that by his second wife would either send the kid to live with the natural mother or divorce the second wife also.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   fan bang

      second wife’s ultimate goals: manipulation, domination, control.

      I not only fuck your daddy, but I think I will have some fun fucking with you too.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 6:09 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   fan bang

    ignore the note and just open that box from the bottom, nothing pisses a mom off more.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 6:14 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Hmmm

    It would certainly seem to be a very cruel thing for a mom to do to a youngster especially if that cereal really… (stop me)

    was… (anytime now)

    fucking… ( please stop me, please)

    DELICIOUS!

    Jan 13, 2010 at 6:27 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   jetjackson bang

      If only wordpress had ‘reach through the screen and strangle’ functionality we would have been able to stop you.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 9:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Nothing Sacred

    There should really be a “stepmother” tag. I understand being a second (or third, or fourth, etc.) wife is not easy, and that being a stepmother is often a thankless task, but in my experience they are queens of PA.

    Mine got much better after getting a dog, though.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 6:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   susie

      perhaps, but in this case, she was the bitch.

      Jan 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Fuschia Grown bang

    Team Grace. It’s a cardboard box, Step-Mater. Surely it would not be hard to find a “modestly priced receptacle” for the cereal that everyone in the family could operate, if the integrity of the cardboard tab is that important to you.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 6:31 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   jetjackson bang

      Did you mean Step-Martyr?

      Jan 13, 2010 at 9:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Fuschia Grown bang

      I did. My apologies! How quickly I forget my Eliot:

      “O Kitchen kitchen… where boxes
      Of the Step-Martyr hold
      The crunchiferous splendour of the flakes of white and gold.”

      Jan 14, 2010 at 4:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Jonathan

      See what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass to maintain the integrity of their cardboard tab, Larry?

      Jan 14, 2010 at 8:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Tasha

    I do that a lot. Maybe I should punish myself from buying cereal.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 7:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   bev

    Good lord. If I took the time to pop open Word and type up and then CUT OUT AND TAPE a note to each and every cereal, cracker, frozen waffle and toaster pastry box that my own, biological children left open, ripped, left in the pantry empty or almost empty save for the few morsels in the folds of the bag, failed to roll the inner bag of, left on the counter or better yet, left open with the contents spilled on the coffee table…

    …I wouldn’t have time to visit PAN.

    Team Grace.

    Love,

    A Mom

    Jan 13, 2010 at 7:26 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Critical Grass bang

    “Mom”,

    I don’t care how you feel about the freaking cereal box because it was bought with my dad’s money. So I’ll wait for a complain from him and you can shut up until further notice.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Ten

    I just keep my cereal in a plastic container. Problem solved.

    Plus it keeps ants out.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   tinkerjenn bang

    ..and I thought my OCD about the silverware drawer was bad…

    but how the FUCK do you tear a box closing it?

    Jan 13, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Critical Grass bang

    “Mom”,

    I don’t like the selections you suggested, so I’ll just stick with the cereal.
    But thanks.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Joe 2

    I agree with several other posters: the cereal box is just the tip of the dysfunctional iceberg!

    Jan 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Pterosaur

    Since she sealed the top of the box, I would’ve grabbed a knife and sliced down the side. Nothing says “you’re not my mom” like a Lucky Charms avalanche at dawn. I think I’d leave the milk out too, for the final touch.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Jonathan

      True, nothing says “you’re not my mom” like that. But sometimes you just want to say “my dad’s just using you for sex.” I think opening the package at the bottom and returning the bag upside down, loosely folded over, answers the original seal with more passivity and aggression. What’s not to love? Bonus follow up by replacing her Monistat with cake frosting.

      Jan 14, 2010 at 8:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Bob

    PLEASE please please put the links up to the other awesome blogs – or the kitten gets it.

    Jan 13, 2010 at 10:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Canthz_B bang

    Dear “Mom”,

    Damn! Can a step-child get a hot breakfast in this mother?!
    A glass slipper?
    Some respect?

    Grace

    Jan 14, 2010 at 12:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Canthz_B bang

    None of those food selections (individually or in combination) make me think “Most important meal of the day” as much as they make me feel “You’re a fat bitch, try to be more like Danielle…see how thin I’ve kept her with my Strict Control Diet Plan”?

    Jan 14, 2010 at 12:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   Moving Stuff

    Hi,
    For a perfect, stress-free, tension-free, pocket-easy move, you really have to research to find a good quality, low cost moving boxes.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 6:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Havingfitz

    Team Grace: when a step-parent has it in for you, it is impossible for you to do anything right. If they can’t find something to scream about they’ll make something up. There’s a natural resentment; you’re not their kid and they really wish you didn’t exist at all, and being a kid you’re an easy target for everything else that goes wrong in their lives. Stepmother: since you’re not capable of treating Grace with respect, please choose another family (The Gosselins, The Munsters, The Mansons…)

    Jan 14, 2010 at 7:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Woman on the Verge bang

    Dear Mom,

    Since you are obviously incapable of preparing an adequate breakfast for me, but have more than enough time to type and tape a note on the cereal box, I suggest you shove this note up your ass repeatedly – until further notice.

    Grace

    Jan 14, 2010 at 8:12 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   lady of the (currently frozen) lake

    Classic case of a Froot Loop going Gripe Nuts.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 8:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #45   Gavin

    Would love to have seen the box totally covered in gaffer tape and then the note stuck on top, would have been far more off the wall

    Jan 14, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   lady of the (currently frozen) lake

    Or maybe she just gets her Kix being Alpha Bitch.

    (o.k., I’m done :))

    Jan 14, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Rebecca

    I think I know what she meant by tearing off the tab. It’s not the big part of the tag, it’s that little strip that ends up under the tab when you tuck it in, the one about 1/5 of an inch wide that I rip every single frickin’ time.

    This is why I own plastic containers and bag clips. I feel for Grace.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 9:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Wade bang

    I can’t believe bowloftoast hasn’t commented yet. This note is tailor-made. ;)

    Jan 14, 2010 at 10:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   rules

    I srly feel sorry for this kid, step mom obviously hates her, the dad needs to stand up for this poor girl and tell the step mom to shove it, shes just a kid!

    Jan 14, 2010 at 10:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   nollface

    is grace a retard?

    Jan 14, 2010 at 12:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #51   Tux

    Someone needs to sit down with step-daughter and teach her two things:

    1) How to open a cereal box without fucking it up. You could probably train a chimp to open and close a cereal box properly, so a teenager isn’t TOO much of a stretch.

    2) How to deal with the fact that at least one of your parents has serious emotional issues, and you’ll probably be walking on eggshells around her for the rest of your life unless she gets help.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 12:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   Such a pretty face bang

    I think Grace is playing a little PA herself… knowing how much it annoys step-mommy dearest she sneaks in late at night and gleefully rips off the tabs of all the cereal boxes.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 1:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Vox bang

    Team Grace.

    I think she should replace all the ‘toy surprises’ in the cereal boxes.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #54   Otto Parts

    She should have said “learn to close the cereal boxes properly and I’ll buy you a cell phone with a better camera.”

    Jan 14, 2010 at 2:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Bethany

    If I’m not mistaken, that looks like the top of a box of BooBerry… Mmm… BooBerry. I stock up every Halloween. Maybe SM is annoyed that it only comes out once a year and an improperly sealed box will go stale, leaving her BooBerry-less until the next haunting holiday.

    Or she could just be a bitch.

    In the meantime, Grace should learn how to work the blender, then make smoothies for breakfast with plenty of blueberries and V8 fusion pomegranate-blueberry blend. It would fulfill her SM’s apparent demand for her to eat healthier, satisfy the now banned desire for the blueberryliciousness of a bowl of BooBerry, and, if Grace plays her cards right and leaves the lid off of the blender every time she makes one, the stains will soon have SMommy Dearest begging her to go back to cereal.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 3:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Hmmm

      BooBerry is Fucking Delicious! And for that matter, so is Count Chocula!

      Jan 14, 2010 at 10:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #56   Joe Blow

    Grace, I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you: but your step-mother is a bitch.

    I recommend that Grace demand made breakfasts if cold cereal is out. “I would like a poached egg, on brioche toast, sliced melon, and a selection of seasonal juices , or I’m calling Family Services”

    Jan 14, 2010 at 3:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #57   Queen Of The World

    NO!!!!! TORN!!!! BOX TOPS!!!! (a la Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford). I hope Grace grows up, writes a tell-all book about the wicked stepmother, gets wealthy, and throws wicked stepmother into an unlicensed nursing facility thousands of miles away from her home.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 3:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #58   Concerned

    Go Mom go…

    And no more children step or otherwise until they relax those child abuse laws.

    Jan 14, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #59   PJ

    dear stepkid,

    please forgive me as i waste my time trying to help raise you because your whore of a mom lied to your dad about being on bc. if you still want me to pay for the upcoming soccer season, the least you can do is close a cereal box properly, thanks.

    Jan 15, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #60   TippingCows

    What we don’t know is …

    has mommy dearest spoken with Grace about this before and been ignored repeatedly?
    Is mommy dearest sick of cleaning up after her step-child who was never taught to do anything for herself by her other mother and although taking it out on her this way is not THE best way to deal with it, perhaps this is just a straw breaking her humped back?
    Is Grace old enough to be able to close cereal boxes with little to no problem, and is just being careless?
    Is Grace not only breaking the tab, but not rolling the bag which contains the cereal properly in order to ensure freshness?
    Why is mommy dearest feeding her children BooBerry for breakfast, anyhow? Most cereal is fit for dessert more than breakfast.
    Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?
    Have I gone too far, and for far too little?

    Jan 15, 2010 at 3:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #60.1   park rose bang

      Only mothers are responsible for the teachings yet again, and cop all the blame. You’ve done good TippingCows.

      Oh, and to answer your penultimate question, ewe did.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 3:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #60.2   anglophile bang

      Hi, I’m anglophile, and you can pry my sugar cereal out of my cold, dead hands. I’d rather talk to Vegans than Cereal Snobs.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 4:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #60.3   park rose bang

      I’m a cereal snob. Actually, I don’t care. But I’d rather have soup or something savoury for breakfast. If I do eat cereal I am one of those natural muesli types with soy milk :) Or porridge cooked up with dried apricots and bananas, yum. I do that with rice sometimes (many years ago).

      At present, breakfast is a sandwich and a rice ball (onigiri). Too much probably, but fills me until lunch.

      Am I dead to you again?(wonders how many deaths she can die).

      Jan 15, 2010 at 4:34 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #60.4   anglophile bang

      To be honest, it was all over between you and me when you admitted you liked Comic Sans. I’ve just been too polite to say anything.

      Jan 15, 2010 at 6:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #60.5   park rose bang

      Oh, well, at least my expiry date extended a bit further than I had thought. I thought we’d split up when I admitted that I liked the posters. Would you like the plastic gee-gaw I found at the bottom of this packet of cornflakes?

      Jan 15, 2010 at 6:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #61   enamy

    get the kid a handy tupperware cereal holder. poor dear.

    Jan 15, 2010 at 9:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #62   Gandalf

    Stepmom:

    If you are serious about the problem with Grace, next time use clip art on your PAN’s.

    If you have any questions, see Casey in HR.

    THX,
    Sandra

    Jan 15, 2010 at 11:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #63   Toya

    What kills me about this note is that I’m sure to isn’t the first (nor the last) time stepmother will gripe about something pretty retarded. As long as you clothespin the bag inside closed, the box doesn’t matter. And I’m sure that years down the road, stepmommy will wonder why stepdaughter wants nothing to do with her.

    lol I wonder if stepmom realizes how expensive those breakfast alternatives are. Or how much time she will have to spend at the grocery store to keep those options stocked in the house. Or how much room those options will take up in the fridge (compared to a gallon of milk). Or what will happen if stepdaughter starts expecting a hot breakfast every morning because cereal is not an option anymore. Stepmommy might have unknowingly shot herself in the foot.

    Jan 15, 2010 at 11:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #64   LB

    Grace — since you are not capable of properly closing the microwave and oven doors, please find another way of heating up your food (bonfire, toaster oven, car engine) until further notice.

    Jan 26, 2010 at 5:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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