“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.
![Grace: Since you are not capable of properly closing a cereal box, please pick another selection for breakfast (yogurt, breakfast bar, fruit) until further notice. [Stepmom]](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4060/4269684067_a47ddcd6e7.jpg)
Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?
related: cereal killer
111 responses so far ↓
#1
Wade
I guess Grace’s mom forgot who will be setting the breakfast menu when she is in the nursing home. It always pays to take the long view.
Jan 13, 2010 at 3:30 pm rating: 65
#2
situational lefty
Guess we know who’s Cinderella in this family.
Jan 13, 2010 at 3:36 pm rating: 22
#3
ClearlyDemented
Team Step-Mom. I think it’s perfectly logical to deny a kid food after repeated actions of this type. Sure, you might think (rightfully so) that it has absolutely no consequence to the quality of the cereal itself. But do you know how many adults are blinded each year because of cardboard cuts caused by untethered box tops? It’s tragic that more people aren’t aware of this growing trend. Personally, I put Velcro on all my cereal boxes as soon as I bring them home from the store, and I encourage you all to do the same. God bless!
Jan 13, 2010 at 3:47 pm rating: 89
#4
rossy
She could have just used some of that handy tape to repair the box. I guess it just seemed more sensible to her to use it to be a bitch instead. Nothing like an uncomfortable household…
Jan 13, 2010 at 3:48 pm rating: 40
#5
Woman on the Verge
Hello? It’s a stinking cereal box. Mom needs a few Xanax in her Cornflakes.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm rating: 57
#6
aaa
I’m just wondering how the hell one even manages to tear the tab off the box while closing it. Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:12 pm rating: 19
#7
oi
Mom:
Since you aren’t capable of parenting please shut up until further notice.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:14 pm rating: 103
#8
Gandalf
Apparently in her zeal to teach Grace a lesson in proper breakfast cereal box etiquette, Mom has effectively sealed the box, forcing everyone to abstain from the whole grain goodness within.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:20 pm rating: 15
#9
Woman on the Verge
Grace forgot to mention that her stepsister is two years old. She will continue to rip the cereal box until someone figures out that she can’t read PA notes… or until her mother remembers that the kid can’t feed herself.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:22 pm rating: 15
#10
Gandalf
I get the sense that Mom is one glass of spilled milk away from a 5150 evaluation.
I’m not judgin’, I’m just sayin’.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:23 pm rating: 16
#11
matt
I hate cereal boxes, they make so much noise when you have to roll up the bag inside and close the top, especially for those midnight snacks, mom could just put the cereal in one of those airtight plastic containers made for the purpose.
then again, she sounds like the kind of bitch who loves hearing that midnight sound of someone (grace) cheating on her new fad diet.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:24 pm rating: 15
#12
Umm...
Now I’m really curious to know what mom’s name is. I’m guessing it’s Tact.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:51 pm rating: 2
#13
G
Huh. My husband doesn’t even close the box, nor roll up the crinkly bag. I didn’t realize that snippy notes were an option!
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:55 pm rating: 15
#14
Adam
The step-sister can’t close a cereal box? Doesn’t surprise me since the submitter can’t seem to operate a camera correctly.
Jan 13, 2010 at 4:59 pm rating: 56
#15
captain obvious
Wouldn’t it be easier to use the plastic cereal boxes for a few months or years? The cardboard ones suck and I’m incapable of opening them myself too.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:02 pm rating: 4
#16
Hmmm
I just can’t get enough of that new delicious Super Sugar Passive Aggressive Crispy Oat cereal!
Now with 20% more Sarcasm!
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm rating: 20
#17
DogBitez
Step-mom is obviously not a morning person. And a bit too anal about her cereal boxes. I feel for Grace. She can come here and have all the cereal she wants — I really don’t care if she tears off the box tabs.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:18 pm rating: 9
#18
fan
The bitch typed it!
Grace listens as stepmom goes through the ritual of humilating Grace once again.
tappity…tap….tap….tap…
Grace has a few rituals of her own she’d like to try. Grace will do that right…
news at 11:00.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:20 pm rating: 14
#19
fan
Mom,
I don’t care for those selections, quit wasting time writing notes and make me a proper breakfast!
Love, Grace
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:29 pm rating: 8
#20
jetjackson
My stepmother was in the military and I suffered similar pains until she had her own children. Forcing 7 pounds of homo sapien sapien out of your vagina tends to loosen you up a bit.
Edit: Perhaps the submitter was a cesarean…
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:31 pm rating: 20
#21
park rose
Bows out with grace until further notice*
*i.e. Next break time. Where’s the eek oddess, by the way?
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:34 pm rating: 1
#22
Sol
Jeez Mom. Buy some tupperware and take a pill.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:52 pm rating: 8
#23
Jill
I love how she has to list other breakfast options. Grace is obviously too stupid to live.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:54 pm rating: 10
#24
anglophile
I note they hail from Michigan. I bet they’re from Battle Creek, where cereal is Serious Fucking Business.
Jan 13, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 21
#25
Saffron Lee
You’d think that any man that would let his daughter be treated like that by his second wife would either send the kid to live with the natural mother or divorce the second wife also.
Jan 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm rating: 18
#26
fan
ignore the note and just open that box from the bottom, nothing pisses a mom off more.
Jan 13, 2010 at 6:14 pm rating: 50
#27
Hmmm
It would certainly seem to be a very cruel thing for a mom to do to a youngster especially if that cereal really… (stop me)
was… (anytime now)
fucking… ( please stop me, please)
DELICIOUS!
Jan 13, 2010 at 6:27 pm rating: 12
#28
Nothing Sacred
There should really be a “stepmother” tag. I understand being a second (or third, or fourth, etc.) wife is not easy, and that being a stepmother is often a thankless task, but in my experience they are queens of PA.
Mine got much better after getting a dog, though.
Jan 13, 2010 at 6:31 pm rating: 5
#29
Fuschia Grown
Team Grace. It’s a cardboard box, Step-Mater. Surely it would not be hard to find a “modestly priced receptacle” for the cereal that everyone in the family could operate, if the integrity of the cardboard tab is that important to you.
Jan 13, 2010 at 6:31 pm rating: 14
#30
Tasha
I do that a lot. Maybe I should punish myself from buying cereal.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:10 pm rating: 6
#31
bev
Good lord. If I took the time to pop open Word and type up and then CUT OUT AND TAPE a note to each and every cereal, cracker, frozen waffle and toaster pastry box that my own, biological children left open, ripped, left in the pantry empty or almost empty save for the few morsels in the folds of the bag, failed to roll the inner bag of, left on the counter or better yet, left open with the contents spilled on the coffee table…
…I wouldn’t have time to visit PAN.
Team Grace.
Love,
A Mom
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:26 pm rating: 21
#32
Critical Grass
“Mom”,
I don’t care how you feel about the freaking cereal box because it was bought with my dad’s money. So I’ll wait for a complain from him and you can shut up until further notice.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm rating: 23
#33
Ten
I just keep my cereal in a plastic container. Problem solved.
Plus it keeps ants out.
Jan 13, 2010 at 7:50 pm rating: 5
#34
tinkerjenn
..and I thought my OCD about the silverware drawer was bad…
but how the FUCK do you tear a box closing it?
Jan 13, 2010 at 8:17 pm rating: 2
#35
Critical Grass
“Mom”,
I don’t like the selections you suggested, so I’ll just stick with the cereal.
But thanks.
Jan 13, 2010 at 8:28 pm rating: 13
#36
Joe 2
I agree with several other posters: the cereal box is just the tip of the dysfunctional iceberg!
Jan 13, 2010 at 8:39 pm rating: 5
#37
Pterosaur
Since she sealed the top of the box, I would’ve grabbed a knife and sliced down the side. Nothing says “you’re not my mom” like a Lucky Charms avalanche at dawn. I think I’d leave the milk out too, for the final touch.
Jan 13, 2010 at 9:08 pm rating: 28
#38
Bob
PLEASE please please put the links up to the other awesome blogs – or the kitten gets it.
Jan 13, 2010 at 10:03 pm rating: 3
#39
Canthz_B
Dear “Mom”,
Damn! Can a step-child get a hot breakfast in this mother?!
A glass slipper?
Some respect?
Grace
Jan 14, 2010 at 12:14 am rating: 2
#40
Canthz_B
None of those food selections (individually or in combination) make me think “Most important meal of the day” as much as they make me feel “You’re a fat bitch, try to be more like Danielle…see how thin I’ve kept her with my Strict Control Diet Plan”?
Jan 14, 2010 at 12:24 am rating: 6
#41
Moving Stuff
Hi,
For a perfect, stress-free, tension-free, pocket-easy move, you really have to research to find a good quality, low cost moving boxes.
Jan 14, 2010 at 6:14 am rating: 0
#42
Havingfitz
Team Grace: when a step-parent has it in for you, it is impossible for you to do anything right. If they can’t find something to scream about they’ll make something up. There’s a natural resentment; you’re not their kid and they really wish you didn’t exist at all, and being a kid you’re an easy target for everything else that goes wrong in their lives. Stepmother: since you’re not capable of treating Grace with respect, please choose another family (The Gosselins, The Munsters, The Mansons…)
Jan 14, 2010 at 7:46 am rating: 4
#43
Woman on the Verge
Dear Mom,
Since you are obviously incapable of preparing an adequate breakfast for me, but have more than enough time to type and tape a note on the cereal box, I suggest you shove this note up your ass repeatedly – until further notice.
Grace
Jan 14, 2010 at 8:12 am rating: 4
#44
lady of the (currently frozen) lake
Classic case of a Froot Loop going Gripe Nuts.
Jan 14, 2010 at 8:17 am rating: 6
#45
Gavin
Would love to have seen the box totally covered in gaffer tape and then the note stuck on top, would have been far more off the wall
Jan 14, 2010 at 8:23 am rating: 2
#46
lady of the (currently frozen) lake
Or maybe she just gets her Kix being Alpha Bitch.
(o.k., I’m done
)
Jan 14, 2010 at 8:31 am rating: 7
#47
Rebecca
I think I know what she meant by tearing off the tab. It’s not the big part of the tag, it’s that little strip that ends up under the tab when you tuck it in, the one about 1/5 of an inch wide that I rip every single frickin’ time.
This is why I own plastic containers and bag clips. I feel for Grace.
Jan 14, 2010 at 9:20 am rating: 1
#48
Wade
I can’t believe bowloftoast hasn’t commented yet. This note is tailor-made.
Jan 14, 2010 at 10:15 am rating: 3
#49
rules
I srly feel sorry for this kid, step mom obviously hates her, the dad needs to stand up for this poor girl and tell the step mom to shove it, shes just a kid!
Jan 14, 2010 at 10:20 am rating: 2
#50
nollface
is grace a retard?
Jan 14, 2010 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#51
Tux
Someone needs to sit down with step-daughter and teach her two things:
1) How to open a cereal box without fucking it up. You could probably train a chimp to open and close a cereal box properly, so a teenager isn’t TOO much of a stretch.
2) How to deal with the fact that at least one of your parents has serious emotional issues, and you’ll probably be walking on eggshells around her for the rest of your life unless she gets help.
Jan 14, 2010 at 12:55 pm rating: 3
#52
Such a pretty face
I think Grace is playing a little PA herself… knowing how much it annoys step-mommy dearest she sneaks in late at night and gleefully rips off the tabs of all the cereal boxes.
Jan 14, 2010 at 1:47 pm rating: 4
#53
Vox
Team Grace.
I think she should replace all the ‘toy surprises’ in the cereal boxes.
Jan 14, 2010 at 1:55 pm rating: 0
#54
Otto Parts
She should have said “learn to close the cereal boxes properly and I’ll buy you a cell phone with a better camera.”
Jan 14, 2010 at 2:35 pm rating: 0
#55
Bethany
If I’m not mistaken, that looks like the top of a box of BooBerry… Mmm… BooBerry. I stock up every Halloween. Maybe SM is annoyed that it only comes out once a year and an improperly sealed box will go stale, leaving her BooBerry-less until the next haunting holiday.
Or she could just be a bitch.
In the meantime, Grace should learn how to work the blender, then make smoothies for breakfast with plenty of blueberries and V8 fusion pomegranate-blueberry blend. It would fulfill her SM’s apparent demand for her to eat healthier, satisfy the now banned desire for the blueberryliciousness of a bowl of BooBerry, and, if Grace plays her cards right and leaves the lid off of the blender every time she makes one, the stains will soon have SMommy Dearest begging her to go back to cereal.
Jan 14, 2010 at 3:02 pm rating: 3
#56
Joe Blow
Grace, I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you: but your step-mother is a bitch.
I recommend that Grace demand made breakfasts if cold cereal is out. “I would like a poached egg, on brioche toast, sliced melon, and a selection of seasonal juices , or I’m calling Family Services”
Jan 14, 2010 at 3:16 pm rating: 3
#57
Queen Of The World
NO!!!!! TORN!!!! BOX TOPS!!!! (a la Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford). I hope Grace grows up, writes a tell-all book about the wicked stepmother, gets wealthy, and throws wicked stepmother into an unlicensed nursing facility thousands of miles away from her home.
Jan 14, 2010 at 3:50 pm rating: 2
#58
Concerned
Go Mom go…
And no more children step or otherwise until they relax those child abuse laws.
Jan 14, 2010 at 6:39 pm rating: 0
#59
PJ
dear stepkid,
please forgive me as i waste my time trying to help raise you because your whore of a mom lied to your dad about being on bc. if you still want me to pay for the upcoming soccer season, the least you can do is close a cereal box properly, thanks.
Jan 15, 2010 at 12:26 am rating: 6
#60
TippingCows
What we don’t know is …
has mommy dearest spoken with Grace about this before and been ignored repeatedly?
Is mommy dearest sick of cleaning up after her step-child who was never taught to do anything for herself by her other mother and although taking it out on her this way is not THE best way to deal with it, perhaps this is just a straw breaking her humped back?
Is Grace old enough to be able to close cereal boxes with little to no problem, and is just being careless?
Is Grace not only breaking the tab, but not rolling the bag which contains the cereal properly in order to ensure freshness?
Why is mommy dearest feeding her children BooBerry for breakfast, anyhow? Most cereal is fit for dessert more than breakfast.
Who put the ram in the ramalamadingdong?
Have I gone too far, and for far too little?
Jan 15, 2010 at 3:37 am rating: 1
#61
enamy
get the kid a handy tupperware cereal holder. poor dear.
Jan 15, 2010 at 9:38 am rating: 1
#62
Gandalf
Stepmom:
If you are serious about the problem with Grace, next time use clip art on your PAN’s.
If you have any questions, see Casey in HR.
THX,
Sandra
Jan 15, 2010 at 11:19 am rating: 1
#63
Toya
What kills me about this note is that I’m sure to isn’t the first (nor the last) time stepmother will gripe about something pretty retarded. As long as you clothespin the bag inside closed, the box doesn’t matter. And I’m sure that years down the road, stepmommy will wonder why stepdaughter wants nothing to do with her.
lol I wonder if stepmom realizes how expensive those breakfast alternatives are. Or how much time she will have to spend at the grocery store to keep those options stocked in the house. Or how much room those options will take up in the fridge (compared to a gallon of milk). Or what will happen if stepdaughter starts expecting a hot breakfast every morning because cereal is not an option anymore. Stepmommy might have unknowingly shot herself in the foot.
Jan 15, 2010 at 11:35 am rating: 0
#64
LB
Grace — since you are not capable of properly closing the microwave and oven doors, please find another way of heating up your food (bonfire, toaster oven, car engine) until further notice.
Jan 26, 2010 at 5:08 pm rating: 0
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