A foreign policy allegory?

January 24th, 2010 · 86 comments

The long arm of Uncle Sam has extended all the way up to this roommate squabble in Peterborough, Ontario.

“The note on the right,” our submitter says, “is is written by a roommate who (as you can see) does not recognize the hypocrisy of calling someone out for being passive-aggressive in her own passive-aggressive note.”

Yo, Uncle Sam: Do not try to dictate my actions to me.

related: Are you proud to be an American?

FILED UNDER: Canada · Ontario · rebuttals · roommates · toilet


86 responses so far ↓

  • #1   famous_lizzy

    Is it just me, or is Uncle Sam so much more alluring with that curly black mustache? He can tell me what to do any day.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:06 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Fanboy Wife

      Instead of Uncle Sam, it’s Uncle Sal(vador Dali).

      Jan 24, 2010 at 8:15 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Wade bang

    The main floor having a toilet seat would bother me before and now.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:10 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   infant tyrone bang

      Well, they don’t call Petersborough the polis with the most pervasively permissive plumbing code in the western hemisphere for nothing.

      They’ll letcha ‘P’ just about anyplace in Petersborough…

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   k

      That’s Peterborough…no S. And for the record, people do pee just about anywhere after the bars let out. I seen it.

      Jan 27, 2010 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   shesajem

    sounds like someone wasn’t invited to the party…

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:18 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   infant tyrone bang

      Or maybe someone’s ex was invited to the party

      Josh ?
      Laurel ?

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Critical Grass bang

    Host of last night’s party: Uncle Sam can dictate anyone’s actions to them anytime he wants. And we have several examples of that happening.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:22 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Gunderson

    I blame Osama

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   anglophile bang

      I blame Obama

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Wade bang

      I blame Alabama

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:42 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   anglophile bang

      Now I blame Bananarama

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:47 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Critical Grass bang

      I blame the current panorama.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Petunia Picklebottom

      I blame yo Mama

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:58 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Geek Goddess bang

      I blame it on Rio.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:59 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   jetjackson bang

      I blame Pleasurama!

      Jan 24, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   bright virago

      I blame Bananas in Pajamas.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Geek Goddess bang

      *caves to peer pressure*

      I blame drama llamas.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 8:10 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Canthz_B bang

      I blame the Mamas and the Papas.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   Palomon bang

      I blame the blunt trauma.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   nic

      I blame it on the rain…

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   jetjackson bang

      I don’t blame it on the sunshine,
      I don’t blame it on the moonlight,
      I don’t blame it on the good times,
      I blame it on the boogie!

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:47 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   matty-wat

      I blamma lamma namma.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   Critical Grass bang

      I blame it on the other guy.
      I blame the stars on the boulevard.

      I also blame it on the vodka.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.16   RigaToni

      I blame it on the a- a- a- a- a- a- alcohol.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:50 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.17   oi bang

      I don’t blame it on you
      I don’t blame it on me
      I blame it on screw
      I blame it on glee

      Jan 25, 2010 at 12:04 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.18   Mightykaytor

      Oh, just go ahead and blame Canada.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 12:40 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.19   Jabo

      I blame Dale Snitterman.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 1:02 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.20   ISpy

      I blame it on the Bossa Nova.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 1:25 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.21   Woman on the Verge bang

      I blame my mother.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 8:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.22   Critical Grass bang

      I blame Justin Bieber.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 8:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.23   JJ

      I blame it on Lady Gaga

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.24   Critical Grass bang

      I blame it on Bad Romance.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.25   Geek Goddess

      I blame myself.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 5:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.26   AuntyBron

      Well, Thank goodness for that GG, I thought it was MY fault.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 11:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   rage

    the first note might be considered passive-aggressive because of its obtusity, but the response isn’t passive at all. pretty straightforward, if you ask me. if one gets called out in an anonymous letter, there aren’t too many other ways to respond besides another letter. at the very least it might be seen as petty, but passive-aggressive, it is not.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:27 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Critical Grass bang

      Really? The note starts with: “To whomever is too afraid to name themselves when sending passive aggressive notes”. And it’s signed “One of the hosts of las night’s party”.
      Do you see anything wrong with that? No? Okay, then…

      Jan 24, 2010 at 7:55 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Palomon bang

      Hypocrisy or irony: you be the judge.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   OP

      The hostess is the Queen of Passive Aggressive Notes. She leaves them everywhere, constantly raging about disappearing bagels and other crimes of humanity. Yet she will try to “call out” any other roomie that does the same.

      Also, the toilet seat was brand new. Hostess wouldn’t know this, because she doesn’t use the bathroom downstairs.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:30 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Palomon bang

      Oh, let’s dish!

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:32 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Conster

      “Really? The note starts with: “To whomever is too afraid to name themselves when sending passive aggressive notes”. And it’s signed “One of the hosts of las night’s party”.
      Do you see anything wrong with that? No? Okay, then…”
      I would think that identifying yourself as one of the hosts narrows it down plenty.
      Also, without the OP’s clarification about the toilet seat not being broken before, the note on the right seems perfectly justified.

      Feb 16, 2010 at 7:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   infant tyrone bang

    Hmmmm…another tricky math problem…

    Cost of buying the unfunded mandate: as low as $13.35 (USD).
    http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Search?keyword=toilet+seat&langId=-1&storeId=10051&catalogId=10053

    Cost of having Uncle Sam go from P/A to “Just Plain A” ?

    Hey, we’re neighbors/roommates…how bad could it really get ?

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Dagny

    It appears that the responder is related to Sybil; note the two distinct styles of penmanship….

    Perhaps one of her alter-ego’s broke the toilet seat, and her current persona is experiencing shame?

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Sybil

      Wait, what? How did I/We get brought into this? I/We’ve never even posted on this board… that I/We know of. Nor have I/We ever been to Canada… maybe.
      Lemme ask around and I/We will get back to you.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 11:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Pterosaur

    Call me naive, but exactly what party activity could irreparably damage a toilet seat? And why is said damage somehow unpatriotic? I need to attend more parties in Canada.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:36 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Palomon bang

      Naive!
      Lemme know if there’s anything else you’d like us to call you.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 9:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Canthz_B bang

      “irreparably damage a toilet seat?”…

      Oh, now I just MUST check the Yellow Pages under “Toilet Seat Repair”. :-)

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   anglophile bang

      You know how when you look in the Yellow Pages, you always have to try three or four possible categories before you find what they call it? Like, you’re looking for the movies, and it’s not under Movies, or Theater, but Cinema? I suggest you try Commode Accessories–Restoration, because it would make too much sense to call it Toilet Seat Repair.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:52 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Canthz_B bang

      So Blow-up Dolls would be under Sex Accessories – Inflatable?

      The years I’ve wasted!!

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:59 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   anglophile bang

      Or possibly Surrogates, Female–Nozzled.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Kelly

      I prefer my females unnozzled, thank you very much.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 3:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   park rose bang

      CB, so long as you’re not finding yellowed paper under the toilet seat all should be not as bad as it could be.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   AuntyBron

      Actually, CB, I believe your Bonnie Blow-Up would be found under “Marital Aids”. At least that’s what they’re called at the adult book stores.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 11:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   AuntyBron

      Or so I’ve heard.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 11:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Tammy

    Aren’t both notes anonymous?

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   kellyjn

    Having Uncle Sam on a note for buying a toilet seat pretty much tells me the note was written by a republican.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 7:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Meesh

      And therefore the devil.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Geek Goddess bang

    If the toilet seat isn’t replaced, does that mean an American invasion is imminent? And if so, is it only in Ontario, or does the West Coast need to worry as well?

    Jan 24, 2010 at 8:01 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   anglophile bang

      Look, if I were you, I wouldn’t push us. We’ve been known to invade for flimsier reasons.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 8:04 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Wherever you see petroleum products not being fully exploited, we’ll be there.
      Wherever you find a workforce underpaid, we’ll be there.
      Wherever you notice the rich stealing from the poor, we’ll be there.

      Jan 24, 2010 at 10:41 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Kelly

      Our eagerness to invade depends on how we’re feeling about ourselves at the time, glo. Our country, much like a rapper, require that others show appropriate fear and respect at all times.

      Don’t look at me in the eyes!

      Jan 25, 2010 at 3:21 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Critical Grass bang

      Nobody fucks with America.

      Sepultura said so…

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   jetjackson bang

    Why is Uncle Sam so obsessed with the toilet seat anyway?

    Maybe he sits down to pee…

    Jan 24, 2010 at 8:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Why do they draw the U.S. into this?
    Wouldn’t Amik have done just fine?

    Or a maple leaf, if you’ve ever had to rough it.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 8:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   park rose bang

      It’s the finger that does it.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    That Uncle Sam is an obvious impostor.
    I know Snidely Whiplash when I see him!

    Jan 24, 2010 at 8:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Jonah

    Can we get an “inappropriate use of ‘whomever’” tag? These three posts need it too.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 8:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   park rose bang

    Stenographers unite!

    Jan 24, 2010 at 11:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Mrs. Johnson, could you please come in and take a head-er?

      “To the Hostess of Last Night’s Party:”…um, put that part in a larger font size, Mrs. Johnson…

      Jan 24, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    If the party was held on the Last Night, the least of my worries would be the condition of the toilet seat.
    Surely, most of us would have crapped in our pants before noticing the damage.

    Jan 24, 2010 at 11:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Adam

    Is it wrong to get desensitized to PAN? Perhaps I’m feeling solemn.

    Jan 25, 2010 at 1:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Renagade676

      Watch it, or Solemn with sue you for sexual harrassment.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 3:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   park rose bang

      Desanitized, maybe, Adam. You shouldn’t go overboard with that anti-bacterial hand soap. You’ll break down all your natural resistance.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:56 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   anglophile bang

      A quick visit to a classic like THX, Sandra will clear that right up for you, Adam. You read one like that and you remember why we’re here, what our mission is, and you feel a renewed energy and purpose.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 7:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   adam

      Thanks for the words all!

      Glo, don’t try to dictate the links I click on, haha! See what I did there?

      Jan 25, 2010 at 11:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Woman on the Verge bang

    It says, “To whomever (sic) is too afraid to name themselves…”

    You know, our parents were responsible for naming us and I, personally, don’t need any more shit to do. I’m not scared, but c’mon.

    Oh, and by the way, he didn’t have to name himself. He left his damn picture at the bottom of the note.

    Jan 25, 2010 at 8:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   dmf

    i’m pretty sure Uncle Sam has no jurisdiction in Ontario.

    Jan 25, 2010 at 1:20 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Critical Grass bang

      That’s what you think, dmf… That’s what you think…

      Jan 25, 2010 at 1:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   park rose bang

      That’s what he wants you to think, dmf… That’s what he wants you to think…

      Jan 26, 2010 at 3:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Woman on the Verge bang

    Uncle Sam wants YOU to buy a new toilet seat.

    Jan 25, 2010 at 2:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   infant tyrone bang

      Aw, Geez…whenever I have to buy a seat for that guy my credit card balance goes up by around $400 and I have to supply doodie data sheets.

      Jan 25, 2010 at 4:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   park rose bang

    I wonder how she feels about the hokey pokey?

    Jan 26, 2010 at 2:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   akka

    It struck me that the second note was more sarcastic. After all the handwriting would give away who wrote it immediately, right? So it seems the signer is more an attempt at sarcasm than unintentional hypocrisy.

    Jan 28, 2010 at 10:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Max Time bang

    doesn’t anyopne realize that a toilet is a sanctuary that shasn’t be touched by MERE MORTALS

    Jan 29, 2010 at 9:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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