“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.
![...If we were paid COMPETATIVE [sic] WAGES We could afford doughnuts!](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4021/4290615665_e3de15f360.jpg "...If we were paid COMPETATIVE [sic] WAGES We could afford doughnuts!")
UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).
While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)
related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook
96 responses so far ↓
#1
Geek Goddess
I call bs on these pans. First, there is no clip art. No weird punctuation, only one spelling mistake. Have we no pride, people? I mean, they didn’t even use comic sans!
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:38 pm rating: 14
#2
wonkette
If you want competitive wages, you first must win a spelling bee.
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:40 pm rating: 47
#3
HS
We represent the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild.
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild,
We wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land!
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:41 pm rating: 10
#4
Kayley
“Hey, we’re your boss, and we’re going to tell you what to do with the money we pay you.”
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:43 pm rating: 28
#5
QuarterRoy00
Why is there a penis covered with powered-sugar poking out above the sign on the left?
Is that the department “head”?
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:48 pm rating: 19
#6
Lord Awesome
The idiot spelled competitive wrong. Maybe that is why they aren’t paid “competative” wages.
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:48 pm rating: 5
#7
Lynn
But first, maybe we should invest in spellcheck!
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:53 pm rating: 5
#8
watchtower
Is it just me, or does the munchkin on the cubicle wall look like a Munchkin’s brain?
What does the munchkin coroner have to say?
Jan 25, 2010 at 5:59 pm rating: 3
#9
farcical aquatic ceremony
Nothing says “spirit of generosity” like a gift that comes with a demand that someone give a gift in return. I’ll bet this manager asked guests at his/her wedding to cough up dough(-nuts! doh!) for their dinner.
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:01 pm rating: 15
#10
GhostWriter
If not for the courage of the fearless crew, that munchkin would be lost.
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:01 pm rating: 11
#11
mamason
Those munchkins were fucking delicious! *I’ve been gone a while. I need time to get back into the flow*
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:02 pm rating: 2
#12
bright virago
Mmmmmmmmmmm…competative wages.
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:10 pm rating: 7
#13
Becky
Maybe they would be paid competitive wages if they could spell.
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:14 pm rating: 3
#14
GhostWriter
There is another sheet of paper hanging just out of sight on the right, saying, “…but since food is not allowed in the work area, there would be no point.”
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:17 pm rating: 10
#15
Hizzeather
Is it just me, or does it look like the text on the right was added later. The paper is crooked, yet the text is not. It just looks fake to me.
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:28 pm rating: 2
#16
cyntae
I think my ex-boyfriend is missing his naughty bits!
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:28 pm rating: 1
#17
Makya
If you are going to spell something wrong, be CARFUL to put it in all caps and 48 font.
Jan 25, 2010 at 6:42 pm rating: 7
#18
Escape Goat
Nothing says “Yummy!” as an out-of-box Munchkin sitting on a cubicle divider.
Jan 25, 2010 at 7:14 pm rating: 9
#19
Canthz_B
Looks like someones spouse has decided that they’re eating healthy from now on.
I see these couples in the supermarket all the time.
There they are in the health foods/organic foods aisle, one eagerly reading labels, the other casting a longing eye at the goodies in other peoples’ carts.
Jan 25, 2010 at 7:15 pm rating: 4
#20
oi
We provide you with the living for your life. That gives us a little authority about your workplace behavior, doesn’t t it? I demand respect and integrity for your wages. Bring donuts and give me a lap dance. Is that too hard? I did not ask for your fucking life! damn it!
Jan 25, 2010 at 7:19 pm rating: 11
#21
Pterosaur
Management posted this note the following day:
We pay our illiterate employees quite competitively. If you disagree, please send your typo-filled resume to our competitor.
Oh, you did? They rejected you?
I prefer bear claws and chocolate glazed. Two dozen should do it.
With great sincerity,
The Boss
Jan 25, 2010 at 7:35 pm rating: 12
#22
Adam
Adam ranks munchkins according to deliciousness.
1)Chocolate
1a)Glazed
3)Powdered
4)Cinnamon
5)Plain
Jan 25, 2010 at 8:30 pm rating: 7
#23
Ethnic Avenue
I swear that 90 percent of all doughnut sales must come from offices.
Jan 25, 2010 at 8:33 pm rating: 1
#24
Wade
Trying to make people pay for breakroom coffee and doughnuts is like trying to impose internet usage fees for content people have been getting for free.
Sounds good in theory, but those horses left the barn years ago.
Jan 25, 2010 at 8:46 pm rating: 6
#25
Canthz_B
I have a hard and fast rule never to spend money where I work.
I only go there to get their money, not to give it right back.
Jan 25, 2010 at 10:52 pm rating: 4
#26
Steph
And maybe if you could spell ‘competitive’ they would pay you enough money to afford said doughnuts.
Jan 25, 2010 at 10:52 pm rating: 4
#27
Canthz_B
While the written instructions order that employees reach for their wallets, some may be more motivated to follow the visual instruction in the clipart.
Jan 26, 2010 at 12:01 am rating: 4
#28
Angela
Cops do love doughnuts.
Jan 26, 2010 at 7:13 am rating: 0
#29
Rachet
Is that a tribble on the cubicle wall?
LOVE that sheriff clipart. The boots make the outfit!
Jan 26, 2010 at 7:52 am rating: 2
#30
Hmmm
I like that “Glengarry Glen Ross” vibe…
Put that donut down! The donuts are for closers only!
Jan 26, 2010 at 8:01 am rating: 4
#31
shesajem
I didn’t see the little treat on top of the wall and so was wondering why they were giving him a munchkin… because really you can’t eat muchkins.. I mean thats just cruel..
Jan 26, 2010 at 9:09 pm rating: 0
#32
Kate
Clearly, I need to send my coworker to get her tips from these folks. When our manager said no more bagels and doughnuts, she just waited until he had a day off and put up a sign that said “FUCK THE BUDGET.”
Jan 26, 2010 at 10:05 pm rating: 0
#33
Hungover Guy
As much as I can understand right now, I think you’re right!
Jan 27, 2010 at 8:19 am rating: 0
#34
jason
If you were capable of competitive spelling, you might deserve doughnuts.
Jan 28, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 0
#35
pumper
ahahaha….. I used to work there(recognize the decor). the doughnuts are legendary. you not only must bring them, they must be from the RIGHT place…. not just any box, the PINK box.
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:15 pm rating: 0
#36
Max Time
awh if I worked their I wish that would be my cubical where the notes posted outside of so I could get the free doughnut munchkin thingy’s then sell them on the streets :[D~
Jan 29, 2010 at 9:24 am rating: 0
#37
peon
What you need to know about that second note is that it’s in a break area on a college campus that is unlocked and open to students — Ivy-League students who think all food in campus buildings is included in their tuition payments.
Jan 30, 2010 at 3:52 pm rating: 0
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