Entries from January 2010
“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.
UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).
While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)
related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook
Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
The long arm of Uncle Sam has extended all the way up to this roommate squabble in Peterborough, Ontario.
“The note on the right,” our submitter says, “is is written by a roommate who (as you can see) does not recognize the hypocrisy of calling someone out for being passive-aggressive in her own passive-aggressive note.”
related: Are you proud to be an American?
Tags: Canada · Ontario · rebuttals · roommates · toilet
“I was forced to go wedding dress shopping with a total bridezilla I know,” writes our submitter in Fredericksburg, Virginia. “Another girl with us is also engaged to be married, and she wanted to try on dresses too. Bridezilla just smiled sweetly and pointed to the sign posted in the dressing room. Her exact words: ‘Sorry, only the bride is allowed, and today is my day.’”
Apparently you’d better keep an eye on those shifty bridesmaids when they’re shopping for the bachelorette party, too. (Or else…cow them into submission with more threats of an unenforceable nature?)
(Spotted by Molly at “Kitty House” boutique in Irvine, California.)
related: What say you, Emily Post?
Tags: California · stealing · Virginia · weddings and bridezillas · WTF?
Josh (formerly of Abbotsford, B.C.) received this doozy of a postcard from his ex, completely out of the blue. “Apparently she wanted to let me know, after more than two years of separation and one year since the divorce was final, that she was really happy we’re not together,” Josh says.
(I’m gonna guess the feeling is mutual.)
Adds Josh: “I too wondered why there was no postage mark from California, where the post card was supposedly mailed from. My ex lives in Olympia, Washington, so my guess is between Washington and B.C. there’s a lot of forgiveness.”
related: to have and to hold
Tags: Canada · Christmas · ex drama · heartwarming compassion · holiday spirit
Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)
related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking things up at Dairy Queen
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)
Sadly, not everyone shares Angela‘s compassion for the portly.
At Julie’s office in Alexandria, Virginia, one employee decided to formalize his or her grudge against artificial sweeteners (and us fatties who love them) with a little help from the reception desk label-maker. Protests Julie: “Hey, some of us just like our sucralose, okay? Or maybe we’re diabetic!”
(In one office break room in the Twin Cities, meanwhile, the sugar packets themselves do the talking…)
And across town at a different office in St. Paul, the office manager (“a fitness freak,” according to our submitter) takes the (relatively) constructive approach with her fellow employees — who are, our submitter agrees, “a bunch of lard-ass geeks who don’t exercise.” Um, thanks?
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
Tags: "helpful" advice · hey fatty · office
Claire and her mom found this relic of childhood while going through a filing cabinet over Christmas. “Neither of us know what prompted it,” Claire says, “though apparently I was mad enough about something to write her this note, but not mad enough to go to bed without her telling me goodnight. Boy, was I one passive-aggressive 11-year-old!”
related: I’ll have you know
Tags: Christmas · Houston · kids · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes
The curious note was posted in the women’s bathroom of New Orleans City Hall…leaving many unanswered questions behind.
Mad Libs, anyone?
related: Blame it on Dayton
Tags: CAPS LOCK · malapropisms · New Orleans · spelling and grammar police · toilet
“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.
Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?
related: cereal killer
Tags: cereal · food · Michigan · Moms & Dads
“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we bought her some crappy vegan thing that wouldn’t make her break out.”
(The cake, Casey says, was “delicious.”)
related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.
extra credit: CakeWrecks.com
Tags: birthday · cake · mean girls · non-apology apology · roommates