Entries from January 2010

Kitchen vigilantes

January 11th, 2010 · 94 Comments

Vaguely fishy notes like this one from Toronto are pretty common around office kitchens…

No fish or fish related products in the microwave

…but I’ve never seen a note that gets right to the point quite like this one from Amber in San Francisco.

SPECIALLY THE MEXICAN

related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

Tags: fish · kitchen · microwave · odor · office

And you thought college students were foul…

January 10th, 2010 · 72 Comments

“I live in a condominium building that is popular with the elderly,” writes our submitter from the Chicagoland area. Recently, he says, the building’s board of managers put copies of this note in everyone’s mailboxes and posted it in the lobby (so guests wouldn’t be spared the details, either.)

Adds our submitter: “I don’t know what’s more inappropriate: losing control of your bowels in the hallway or distributing this memo to all the residents.”

Someone has a serious bowel problem

Meanwhile in depressing economic news, Sara in Kansas City, Missouri says her company’s last Christmas party was held in — wait for it — the rec center of a local retirement home. Revelers who stopped by the restroom were greeted with this cheerful reminder of OMG SHOOT ME NOW.

After you rinse your dentures PLEASE rinse out sink

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Chicago · disturbingly detailed · old folks · shit · that's disgusting

Quoth the buzzard, “WTF?”

January 8th, 2010 · 142 Comments

Imma cut you off before you start with the “that’s not passive-aggressive” bidness. It’s “WTF Friday,” and anything goes!

First up: Linda spotted this spray-painted notice in front of a dumpster on the streets of San Francisco. “I have no idea what breast cancer trash they are trying to fend off, or what ‘breast cancer trash’ is supposed to mean,” she says.

No...Breast Cancer Trash?

Meanwhile, Susan in Silverdale, Washington did a doubletake when she drove past this sign on her way home one day. (She took a picture, but did not attempt to make good on the offer.)

If your name is bitch come in for a free rose

Austin was similarly disarmed upon spotting this notice outside a shop in Dublin, Ireland.

PERSON (MAN) WITH EXPERIENCE REQUIRED

And longtime troublemaker Wade had a good chuckle when spotted this sign outside a child care center (run by the Addams’ Family?) in Washington, D.C.

When you hear the buzzard pull the door to enter.

related: professionally done by Asians

Tags: casual sexism · malapropisms · WTF?

’Bama bombs

January 7th, 2010 · 81 Comments

Tripp was visiting his friend’s dorm at the University of Alabama when he spotted this note from the floor’s RA posted on the door to the men’s bathroom.

Adds Tripp: “I’m with the person who added on to the note. A bunch of teenage boys probably aren’t going to be spending that much time hocking loogies at the shower walls.” To which I would add: “Ewww, gross.”

Are you sure it's spit?

P.S. Hook ’em Horns!

related: Who takes a crap in the shower?!

Tags: Alabama · college life · RA · shower · that's disgusting

…and “B” for Busted

January 6th, 2010 · 68 Comments

Pitchfork gave this performance by Patrick (“guy in a band”) and A (“friend of guy in band”) — a 7.2. Be sure to read from the bottom up!

...and

related: perfect for each other

Tags: Facebook · Oops?

Snark-itti

January 5th, 2010 · 106 Comments

We can’t all be Banksy, but sometimes all it takes is a small, well-placed bit of vandalism to brighten your day. Take this example from Emily in Philadelphia:

Psychic's storefront for lease (Bet you coulda predicted that)

Or this one, spotted by Scott at a certain tech company headquarters in Mountain View, California:

This is not an entrance

Which leads me to wonder…are there really no smart-mouthed vandals in Portsmouth, New Hampshire (where Ian spotted this sign) ballsy enough to challenge this proclamation from the local ice rink?

You mean, like, sitting?

related: who’s the smartass?

Tags: oh snap · smartass

Napoleon Dynamite Complex

January 4th, 2010 · 96 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis: “I received this note — and accompanying tater tots — from a co-worker (a balding, 40-year-old male) who had been making false reports about me to our manager and was caught doing so.” (We’re talking hardcore, premeditated sabotage here, so calling himself “a bit of a jerk” was probably “a bit of an understatement.”)

Sorry. I know tater tots don't exactly make up for being a bit of a jerk to you, but I hope it helps a little.

The strangest part, says our submitter? “I do not work in an establishment that serves tater tots.”

related: Daddy’s little smartass

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · office · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

2009: the year in painfully polite and hilariously hostile notes

January 1st, 2010 · 161 Comments

To tide you over as you nurse your hangovers, I present this look back at our some of our favorite douchecanoes and their misadventures. Which is your pick for note of the year? Cast your vote in the comments!

Is your name Dave? Yes! My name IS Dave! Thanks for the free drink! Daves 4 Life!!!

spit & vinegar

and jesus said..."oh, snap!"

keep being awesome!

what would jesus do for a klondike bar?

the easter bunny is so passive-aggressive

waiting for the second coming (and/or a thank you note)

untitled (broken glass)

well, do ya?

on jamming

"Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts"

Bulgarian Fat Police

repestect yourself

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Tags: most popular notes of 2009 · troublemaker's choice