Comments on: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

By: Why can’t I turn this toaster on? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

Why can’t I turn this toaster on? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 03:48:13 +0000

[...] related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse? [...]

By: Slvrchelsea

Slvrchelsea — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:47:54 +0000

That first note sounds like DCF has taken said toaster away from it’s parents and are giving them another chance at raising little Toastie… but it’s only going to take one more “incident” and little Toastie’s off to foster care!!!

By: doug

doug — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 01:13:24 +0000

100% agrees with peasant!

By: ISpy

ISpy — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 05:45:55 +0000

The fact is, most office toasters originate in the kitchens of employees. After years of use at home, and upon demonstrating lack of consistent performance given the knob setting, they are retired to break rooms across this fine land, and are passed off as “new” by management. I know this because all my old toasters have been put to out to pasture at my place of employment. Wake up, America!

By: Maas

Maas — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:23:56 +0000

Toaster abuse is a serious problem in this country.

Also, unattended toasters will be given a shot of espresso and a puppy.

By: Maas

Maas — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 21:21:27 +0000

The toast looks the way bread looks when placed in a toaster which has been adjusted to toast a bagel.

By: Vintage_K

Vintage_K — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:22:27 +0000

So burning toast and leaving toasters unattended means you’re toast?! Well I’ll be damned.

By: Bethany

Bethany — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:28:10 +0000

Frosted PopTarts also flame up quite nicely.

By: Bethany

Bethany — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:20:21 +0000

The toast is not really, really burnt. It’s a dark golden brown. Really, really burnt is black. But that’s a matter of taste. So the question remains: What kind of nincompoop doesn’t check the toast setting and assumes everybody likes their toast on the lighter side? I vote for the kind that lacks common sense in the first place.

By: Bethany

Bethany — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 17:03:56 +0000

Oh my god, I hate the toaster temperature argument. It’s knob. It turns pretty easily. Check it before you stick your bread in the toaster and change it if you need to. How frickin’ hard is that to do? I do it every time I make toast because the housemate who throws a bitchfit about me not turning it back to the why-are-you-bothering-if-you-just-want-warm-bread-use-the-microwave setting after I actually toast my bread can’t be bothered to turn it back to the real-toast setting.

(Obviously, this argument is a two-way street akin to the over-under toilet paper roll argument, and I’m on the “check it, change it, toast my bread, don’t talk to her, and leave it on setting #4 because I know it annoys her” side of the road.)

By: S

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:25:54 +0000

“I only did what was asked of me”. Says toaster.

By: Canthz_B

Canthz_B — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 06:03:07 +0000

Or a smoke detector.

By: Canthz_B

Canthz_B — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 06:00:33 +0000

If a watched pot never boils, does a watched toaster ever brown?

By: Canthz_B

Canthz_B — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:50:58 +0000

LOTP, they were fine. I made them wear asbestos Dr. Dentons. If they balked at putting them on, I’d lop off a finger.

Saved me a fortune in music lessons later on.