Aleister in London found this critique slipped under his door after an impromptu Thursday night sing-along. “I am a big fan of my neighbours’ critical opinion,” Alastair says. “I won’t offer much defense other than that our music selection was exceptional and I was on my way to work when I found it.”
Well done, Flat 3. Dry wit, a soft touch, and lovely handwriting? This is one note that definitely deserves a place of honor on the fridge.
If you absolutely must write a note, I’d say this is how to do it.
related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?
194 responses so far ↓
#1
oi
I love this note. I am so tempted to wild myself out just to get a note like this.
on a second thought, I won’though. I might get bullet instead of note, I live in Oakland after all.
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm rating: 90
#2
Denny
Best neighbors of all time!
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm rating: 90
#3
Elle
Actually, this note comes across as pretty friendly, in my oh-so-humble opinion.. Poor guy with a-hole neighbors. I know I would have just called the cops.
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm rating: 90
#4
unholyghost2003
I am in LOVE with this note. I want to introduce these people, writers and recipients, to my upstairs neighbors who play “Rock Band’ until 3am … just because I hope all groups will come play with me the next time I want a late night!
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:36 pm rating: 90
#5
ClearlyDemented
It is weird to get warm fuzzies from a PA note. If I were the receiver, I would knock on their door and give them all bear hugs. (Not bare hugs, mind you.)
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm rating: 90
#6
Sof
Man, that was damn nice. I wish I had neighbours that polite. If I had a loud sing-along at 4:30 am, I’d have the police on my doorstep, not a note.
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm rating: 90
#7
Interceptor
English people are so up their own arses its not funny. I like that there isn’t a single mis-spelled word too…
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:38 pm rating: 90
#8
Kathryn
Now this is the way to write a complaint letter… Someone was listening in class when the teacher said “Say two things they did right and then one thing they could improve upon.”
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm rating: 90
#9
kathy
Um, this doesn’t qualify as passive agressive in any way. It is straightforward, polite, and pretty reasonable. Hard not to like the folks in Flat 3.
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm rating: 90
#10
Kevin
Best STFU note ever. So polite!
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 90
#11
Tim Kolb
Thought about knocking on my upstairs neighbor’s door dressed in only my underwear at 3:30 am when he decides to jam but maybe I will just send a PA note so you all can enjoy.
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 90
#12
maggie
when i left my upstairs neighbours a note like this (i also slept below their living room), they responded very harshly. next time i just called the cops.
Feb 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 90
#13
cq
team flat 3
Feb 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm rating: 90
#14
Tiffany
I read that note and heard the Geico Gecko in my head. I wish I could be so polite when the neighbors piss me off.
Feb 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm rating: 90
#15
dave
ahem~
I have a telltale feeling that note writer lives by himself. Those, we/us, are just referring to voices in his heads.
Feb 17, 2010 at 6:53 pm rating: 90
#16
Saffron Lee
Oh, sure. This is the way to write a note when your neighbors are totally self-centred drunken asshats. Because people like that really deserve to be coddled like they are entitled to special treatment. You know, because, they’re special. More special than anyone else.
Feb 17, 2010 at 7:08 pm rating: 90
#17
Wade
If only they had played the Eurythmics version, all would have been well.
Would I lie to you?
Feb 17, 2010 at 7:15 pm rating: 90
#18
farcical aquatic ceremony
Hey, maybe it’s the ROYAL we?!? Queen Lizzie rockin’ it with her homies upstairs, Chuck–trying to stay anon. as “Alastair”–simply couldn’t take it anymore. (Their awful singing the sort of thing up with which he will not put, after all…)
Feb 17, 2010 at 7:21 pm rating: 90
#19
stream of bat's piss
All believable until they slip up and make the claim that they actually like Paul Simon.
Feb 17, 2010 at 7:41 pm rating: 90
#20
your ass is grass
whot???? no fucking depeche mode?
Feb 17, 2010 at 7:47 pm rating: 90
#21
rox
There is *nothing* PA about this letter. Lame.
Feb 17, 2010 at 8:08 pm rating: 90
#22
iknow
PA? Hardly. Aggressive? After lying awake in bed for 4 hours then writing a one page well thought hillarious dry sarcastic note with a direct to the point summation? Yep that’s a real alpha type go getter. Palease. It is cool to know there are others out there that live in a friendly world. I come across so many that would have pounded on the ceiling until the brink of popping an anuerism then the next step would be pound on door screaming mother f*cker shut the f*ck up or conversley the chicken shit silent type that calls the cops and pretends they didn’t hear any noise last night? “The cops were here? Really? Last night? No man it wasn’t me that called them.”
Oh and to the brit that thinks americans are wankors because we see the humor that your sorry ass son of a bitch angry world living self cannot, that’s cool I personally can live with that. Whatever dude, jimmy cracked corn…
Feb 17, 2010 at 9:37 pm rating: 90
#23
Beanster
dear flat 1.
last night sounded fun. i wanted to come play, but i was shy and in my footie pajamas (mum doesn’t like it when i’m barefoot) and so i didn’t come down. next time can you have a super fun party before my bedtime?
flat 3.
Feb 17, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 90
#24
Canthz_B
You really should not sing loud enough to wake the neighbors if the PA note you may get can be addressed to “Flat One”.
Feb 17, 2010 at 10:26 pm rating: 90
#25
Folksy McBride
The way the note begins: “We are sorry to bother you, but….” tells me all I need to know about the folks in Flat 3.
They’re the kind of people who think nothing of wasting your time by expecting you to read some hastily scrawled, lengthy manifesto about whatever.
If I were in Flat 1, I’d report Flat 3 to the landlord and suggest that they be evicted.
They’re probably squatters, anyway. Typical.
“Good bye and good riddance,” I say.
Feb 18, 2010 at 12:32 am rating: 90
#26
ohreally
I am sorely tempted to copy/adapt this note for my next door neighbors. It’s not a party over there unless it starts past 1 AM. And they have a couple small children (one just over a year old). I am half convinced the toddler is the one behind the middle of the night dance parties. Sometimes, baby just wants to dance.
Feb 18, 2010 at 12:46 am rating: 90
#27
Scott
Yes, but what did Morrigan think?
Feb 18, 2010 at 1:51 am rating: 90
#28
Keith
There’s a grammar error as well – should have been “woken up”, not “woke up”, (line 1, paragragh 3)
A request at 2.30 a.m. to “please turn the noise down, or, better, off” is quite likely to be rewarded with a punch in the face, or worse.
Feb 18, 2010 at 3:44 am rating: 90
#29
Oink
I’m loving how some people have turned to Brit-bashing above, but that’s the Internet for you and it’s not like us Brits don’t do enough of the reverse.
I’d like to say, firstly excellent handwriting. Secondly, passive aggressive yes but also they seem like witty people. I like this note – and if they were my neighbours I’d suggest some mutual karaoke to get to know them
Feb 18, 2010 at 4:00 am rating: 90
#30
Mark
I have to be honest and say that I am on the side of the note-writing neighbour. Considering that the inconsiderate singing asshole kept them up all night with his singing, the note is actually quite friendly. Some of us do have to get up very early in the morning for work. We can’t all sit up at 4.15am singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Alistair, you are a selfish asshole.
Feb 18, 2010 at 6:33 am rating: 90
#31
lownote
An excellent example of the PAN. It has sarcasm, layered with aggression hidden in compliments. Of course a few examples of clip art would have improved it beyond measure but I assume in their sleep deprived state it was hard to locate some so am willing to let that slide this time
Feb 18, 2010 at 8:07 am rating: 90
#32
Q
I’d be nice to them regarding their spelling and grammar errors– after all, they were far nicer than I would have been. I would have banged on their ceiling or gone up to their door and demanded that they *at least* play something from when more people (I.e. me) were alive.
Feb 18, 2010 at 8:40 am rating: 90
#33
aaaaaaa
Team Patronising Upper-middle-class Smug Neighbours
Good old Pommy PA
Feb 18, 2010 at 9:00 am rating: 90
#34
Matt L
How the hell do you set caps lock on hand writing?
Feb 18, 2010 at 9:57 am rating: 90
#35
Sadi
Team neighbors. I would have called the cops by 3:00.
Feb 18, 2010 at 10:10 am rating: 90
#36
GhostWriter
Flat 3,
Your note was neatly penned and your argument clearly presented. Thank you for your submittal.
However, please note that the Queen song with repetitive “havin’ a good time…” lyrics is, in fact, titled “Don’t Stop me Now”.
As any self-respecting Brit would know this, I must hereby disqualify your note from further consideration.
– Flat 1
Feb 18, 2010 at 10:54 am rating: 90
#37
shwonline
Dear Flat 3,
Guys in future please use capital letters only at the beginning of sentences and formal nouns so it does not appear that you are shouting your very polite letter.
Flat 1
Feb 18, 2010 at 11:21 am rating: 90
#38
Kate
This note is the epitome of passive aggressive notes.
I can just imagine them laying there all night getting more and more angry.
Reading between the lines I can see just how furious the are. However it never does to come across quite annoyed and this would get to me much more than a note saying ‘shut up you dick’.
It’s like when I used to work in customer facing jobs, if a customer was loosing it and really having a go at me I would just be all the more polite, they just don’t know how to act.
Feb 18, 2010 at 12:23 pm rating: 90
#39
Frankie
Personally I like the standing naked in the hallway with a knife approach, but this note’s pretty good too.
Feb 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm rating: 90
#40
aaa
Singer-songwriter
You suck. New career maybe?
Go to fucking sleep!
Feb 18, 2010 at 1:14 pm rating: 90
#41
sleeps
Someone really should help poor Aleister. Can’t they see he’s being repressed?
Feb 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm rating: 90
#42
lauren
I side with the note-writer. Whether it was sarcastic or sincere, it’s tough to argue against their point.
Feb 18, 2010 at 2:36 pm rating: 90
#43
Na
I don’t see anything wrong with choosing to be polite and civilised even if you might be feeling like you want to scream and be rude.
Feb 18, 2010 at 3:51 pm rating: 90
#44
Lilli
Too freakin’ proper. If this guy was in New York, he’d get a crack upside the head down in the lobby by the mailboxes. That always gets the point across much quicker in NY.
Feb 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm rating: 90
#45
eyeung
Wow, the note made ME feel like scum, and I’m just reading it. Way passive, with just enough aggression to push it over the edge. Well done!
Feb 18, 2010 at 4:38 pm rating: 90
#46
oi
The best part of the note? the third paragraph where they explain that why they chose to write a note and not to confront them. they seared the whole night from the loud karaoke above but they did not want to come across as grumpy neighbors. These are the guys one should be afraid of and not the loudmouth tattooed guy.
Feb 18, 2010 at 4:58 pm rating: 90
#47
we
This note is fake, the text doesn’t look right at all on the ‘crumpled’ background. Not a very good fake either. boo.
Feb 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm rating: 90
#48
jugga jugga
yo this sites the bomb. thats some funny shit those ppl probly like 100 years old gettin all pissed about a party.
anyway this site pretty good but like half of it pretty protentius and most people probly dont get the jokes but the other stuff is pretty funny like this note about the party. also please do more notes about juggalos and ICP! much luv to ma clowns!!!
Feb 18, 2010 at 7:32 pm rating: 90
#49
Tasha
I’d like Flat 3 to be my boss.
Feb 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm rating: 90
#50
Oink
Lownote – I wish I could help.
I almost got distracted with “protentius” but kept on trying to make sense of it. I haven’t a clue about “juggalos and ICP” (gigolos? TCP?) though so I might have missed something very important. As for the reference to ‘clowns’, I’m led to presume that jugga jugga joined a circus rather than worked harder at learning the language.
Feb 19, 2010 at 4:09 am rating: 90
#51
Oink
Park rose – Oh yes I noticed that after I posted. Thanks.
Feb 19, 2010 at 4:57 am rating: 90
#52
Aleister
Wow! Lots of debate.
The next day we brought Flat 3 a bottle of wine in recognition of this note. Now we’re all friends.
The ‘Brit’ comments are off piste. In addition to Flat 3, we also have a neighbour next door who screams “shut the fuck up” at Flat 4 when they party, and a lady two doors down whose boyfriend knocked on the door and threatened to throw a beer bottle through our window once. You just can’t scan those events in and submit them to a website I suppose. Between us, those neighbours and Flat 3 you have a fairly good cross-section of inner-city London dwellers and an indication of how English people vary when it comes to confrontation.
Feb 19, 2010 at 7:23 am rating: 90
#53
Oink
Aleister – Nice update. But by “English” I presume you mean “British”…
Feb 19, 2010 at 9:57 am rating: 90
#54
ICP
For those of you not familiar with “Insane Clown Posse” and their fanbase made up of “Juggalos,” the following video gives some insight:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMv9d1pIoBA
Feb 19, 2010 at 11:21 am rating: 90
#55
Lucy
Lovin’ the xenophobia here. Really. Cheers for that.
A Brit.
Feb 19, 2010 at 1:54 pm rating: 90
#56
CourtH
The note’s a little passive aggressive, but it’s still a pretty nice way of dealing with the situation.
If I lived in Flat 3, Flat 1 would have had a visit from the police rather than an PA note.
Feb 19, 2010 at 8:11 pm rating: 90
#57
Flats
What the fuck is a flat? Are those the things where hobbits live?
Do they mean appartment?
Feb 19, 2010 at 8:12 pm rating: 90
#58
BoggyWoggy
fake, fake, fake. I’ve used that same background “paper” on notes online before.
Feb 21, 2010 at 7:36 pm rating: 90
#59
lindsay
I wish I had the nerve to do this when I lived in an apartment!
Feb 22, 2010 at 8:41 am rating: 90
#60
Confused
I’m confused – why didn’t Flat 3 just knock on Flat 1′s door and politely ask them to cut it out at 2:30 am? Or am I being too Canadian?
Feb 22, 2010 at 8:17 pm rating: 90
#61
Sesquipedalian
Being British, I was aghast to notice that Aleister, who is apparently also British (possibly of Scottish origin given his full name), used the American English spelling of ‘defense’ rather than the British English ‘defence’. Perhaps he sings with a faux-American accent too, thus further justifying his neighbours’ discomfiture.
Feb 23, 2010 at 10:18 am rating: 90
#62
Max Time
I would so host a massive rockband party the next night if I got that note
Feb 24, 2010 at 8:59 am rating: 90
#63 All I want for Christmas is for you to stop flooding the jukebox with Mariah Carey songs. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: “You Can Call Me Arse”: A review of last night’s performance [...]
Dec 6, 2010 at 4:38 pm rating: 90
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