"You Can Call Me Arse" | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

#1 oi bang

I love this note. I am so tempted to wild myself out just to get a note like this.
on a second thought, I won’though. I might get bullet instead of note, I live in Oakland after all.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm rating: 53 small thumbs up

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#1.1 Mishee™

Hell, you could get a bullet even if you don’t write a note! That’s the beauty of the City on the Other Side of the Bay Near the City By The Bay….

Feb 19, 2010 at 3:06 pm rating: 3
#1.2 oi

yes. Mishee yes.

Feb 20, 2010 at 12:00 pm rating: 0
#1.3 MAMARILLA2

Don’t mess with me. I’m one crazy mo-fo. I had to pop a cop cause he wasn’t giving me my props in Oaktown. No? I’ve heard that somewhere.

Feb 24, 2010 at 9:13 am rating: 0

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#2 Denny

Best neighbors of all time!

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm rating: 48 small thumbs up

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#2.1 Ethnic Avenue

You’re making the mistake of reading this with our crass American perspective. That’s why you’re not offended.

If you read this with a British accent–like it was intended–you’ll see how condescending and insulting it really is.

What wankers!

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:29 pm rating: 52
#2.2 ana

i like it a lot! they were cool. i disagree that it was condescending.

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:36 pm rating: 21
#2.3 Foster, C

I agree with Ethnic Avenue – the ultra-civilised cheerfulness is passive aggression of an order that ONLY English people can achieve. The hair on the back of my neck stood up at the end with “have a good weekend”. I would personally prefer an honest, assertive on-the-spot complaint to this patronising drivel!

Having said that, they were right to be irritated. It’s a shame they made a spelling mistake (bare/bear) but in the grand scheme of the universe, I’m on their side.

Team Patronising Upper-middle-class Smug Neighbours ftw!~

Feb 17, 2010 at 8:33 pm rating: 60
#2.4 anglophile

How right you are that no mere American can possibly master sarcasm and condescension the way our British cousins can.

We’re all just completely honest and naive over on this side of the pond. No hidden depths here.

Feb 17, 2010 at 9:00 pm rating: 50
#2.5 oi

yeah I don’t see condescending part either. Sarcastic(more of a dead pan i think)? yes, over the top polite? yes but condescending? no.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:03 pm rating: 22
#2.6 Foster, C

I acknowledge your sarcasm, Anglophile – but unless you agree with me, you can’t possibly know what you’re talking about.

Seriously, though, I didn’t say the Yanks couldn’t do it at all… I just meant that nobody can do it quite like a middle-class Pom. I think it’s the combination of class consciousness and self-satisfaction that somehow pushes them up to 11. And yes, I know the US and most other countries have classes to some degree, but none in my experience are as insidious or utterly pervasive to self-image as those at every level in UK society.

For the record, I’m neither nationality, so I can maintain a position of unbiased observation!

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:06 pm rating: 17
#2.7 oi

oh the some of have to work part? more of a “take pity on me” and not like, ooh I am queen of england and don’t you go partying, you idiot.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:06 pm rating: 5
#2.8 jadefirefly

I have to agree on the ‘Brits have the smarmy sarcasm down’ part. I -aspire- to that unique level of snobbish sarcasm, without letting the actual ire seep through.

Sadly, it’s lost, most of the time. But *I* enjoy it.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:27 pm rating: 13
#2.9 Foster, C

They don’t think they’re the Queen of England – but it’s part of their self-image to be above ‘uncivilised’ confrontations.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:57 pm rating: 4
#2.10 Canthz_B

I really need to check into my older sister’s pedigree, because she can deliver a thousand cuts and and have her target thanking her for the compliments.

Feb 17, 2010 at 11:01 pm rating: 29
#2.11 park rose

Bless her heart.

Feb 17, 2010 at 11:22 pm rating: 15
#2.12 park rose

Foster, C, just as being a drongo is part of ours, hmm?

Feb 17, 2010 at 11:42 pm rating: 1
#2.13 Foster, C

More like some of “us” (meaning the rest of the world, and non-PA smug middle-class Poms), would prefer to just ask nicely on the spot for them to cut it out.

Again…….. I’m hardly saying that passive aggression is confined to the English… as, ah, this entire website would show us. It’s more that this particular note perfectly exemplifies the English distaste for ‘making a scene’… combined with crisp cheerful condescension delivered with perfectly placed apostrophes.

Goodness.. I started commenting on this humorously and now I’m seriously over-thinking it!

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:03 am rating: 16
#2.14 Canthz_B

LOL, Foster, C, that happens to everyone every once in a while.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:32 am rating: 3
#2.15 OhLaDiDa

I guess it rally boils down to nation, eh? In the US this note is completely friendly, the UK it’s passive-aggressive to the core, in Germany it would just be considered funny, whereas in Switzerland it would never happen, the Swiss being to prudent that way.
- As an Austrian, I love it.

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:18 am rating: 20
#2.16 Isobel

I have to disagree with Ethnic Avenue et all – I’m English and I didn’t read that as passive aggressive at all – it’s actually a pretty nice note from someone who was kept up all night on a work night, I think.

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:43 am rating: 25
#2.17 Canthz_B

To me, this note is pregnant with “I really wanted to be up listening to you sing rather than get a good night’s sleep.” sarcasm.
Polite? Yes. Passive aggressive? For sure.

Feb 18, 2010 at 6:50 am rating: 18
#2.18 JMonkey78

I know I live in Oklahoma and at no point in my meager existence, which I call a life, have I ever been able to come even close to the amount of sarcasm used by those across the pond. It would no doubt be due to the fact that we do not properly use the queens English, it seems that when we declared Independence, and refuted every advance of our sincerely caring neighbors to civilize us once more, something was lost that can never be reinfused into us. We have lost the ability to be sarcastic and put ourselves above everyone else.
I mean if we were really pompous like the English we would believe that the world could not take care of itself without us, and then we would have to intervene in every little sqabble that pops up from Bosnia to Iraq. No we Americans have lost our sense of aristocracy over the years, and I for one feel that we should be ashamed of what we have lost. (insert farting sound here).

Feb 18, 2010 at 11:34 am rating: 12
#2.19 Kate

Ethnic Avenue,

Sorry to be an arse but what is a British accent?

Great Britain is made up of countries including Scotland, Wales and England (only Northern Ireland when saying Grat Britain and Northern Ireland)

All countries have their own distinct accent and language.

I assume by a British accent you mean southern English?

Yours in passive aggression.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:15 pm rating: 9
#2.20 Mark

See this for an explanation of “Great Britain,” etc.

And everybody knows that the only true language is American. If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me!

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm rating: 15
#2.21 hampshireflyer

Ooh, ‘Some of us have to work in the morning’ is getting into serious disdain territory for a Brit… best unpacked as something like ‘I’m a respectable member of society who earns a living, you’re the kind of wastrel who belongs in a William Hogarth gin-lane etching / a nationally syndicated talk show for the underclass, so you have no right whatsoever to disrupt my God-given and morally superior life’…

It takes generations of grudgingly silenced class resentment to make a sentence like that!

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm rating: 13
#2.22 Maas

I foolishly assumed that the tone in which the note was intended depended on the character of the author as an individual, but that could be because I’m from the States, and we’re all into individuality.

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:15 pm rating: 10
#2.23 Foster, C

Thank you, hampshireflyer, for drilling down to exactly the point I was trying to make.

Feb 18, 2010 at 6:07 pm rating: 1
#2.24 G

You know, I was wondering why Aleister bothered to include the defense that he saw the note while on his way to work. I just couldn’t figure out how that related to…well, anything. Now I seeeeeeeeeeee.

Feb 18, 2010 at 7:41 pm rating: 4

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#3 Elle

Actually, this note comes across as pretty friendly, in my oh-so-humble opinion.. Poor guy with a-hole neighbors. I know I would have just called the cops.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm rating: 35 small thumbs up

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#4 unholyghost2003 bang

I am in LOVE with this note. I want to introduce these people, writers and recipients, to my upstairs neighbors who play “Rock Band’ until 3am … just because I hope all groups will come play with me the next time I want a late night!

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:36 pm rating: 32 small thumbs up

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#4.1 Jonah

We appear to have the same upstairs neighbors, which means we live in the same apartment. Who are you, and could you chip in some rent please?

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:33 pm rating: 27
#4.2 Via

um, that might be my boyfriend’s place…get prepared for Friday night…

Feb 17, 2010 at 8:05 pm rating: 2
#4.3 PhishGirl

Wow, evidently we all live together and weren’t aware!

Oh, and Via, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if your boyfriend is inflicting Rock Band torture on his neighbors, he sucks.

Feb 18, 2010 at 7:40 am rating: 10

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#5 ClearlyDemented

It is weird to get warm fuzzies from a PA note. If I were the receiver, I would knock on their door and give them all bear hugs. (Not bare hugs, mind you.)

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm rating: 42 small thumbs up

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#5.1 unholyghost2003

maybe bare hugs … depends on what they look like.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:45 pm rating: 33

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#6 Sof

Man, that was damn nice. I wish I had neighbours that polite. If I had a loud sing-along at 4:30 am, I’d have the police on my doorstep, not a note.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm rating: 20 small thumbs up

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#7 Interceptor

English people are so up their own arses its not funny. I like that there isn’t a single mis-spelled word too…

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:38 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#7.1 anglophile

Well, maybe just one.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:41 pm rating: 22
#7.2 park rose

Interceptor, ain’t that the naked truth?

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:25 pm rating: 17
#7.3 sleeps

Oh, come on. I barely even noticed it!

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:51 pm rating: 10
#7.4 Kate the Great

Yeah, there is a misspelled word. The writer said “bare” in mind when he meant “bear.” Oh God, I’m a dork.

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:01 pm rating: 1
#7.5 FeRD

No, just slower than anglophile.
…And park rose.
…And sleeps.

Yeah, OK, you’re pretty much a dweeb sandwich in a two-ply nerd baggie.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 15
#7.6 Canthz_B

An obvious Freudian slip. The writer was fantasizing about Aleister singing in the nude while she wrote this, so he was bare in (her) mind.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:46 pm rating: 4
#7.7 Kate the Great

Actually, FeRD, I noticed it before anyone had commented, I just pointed it out because Interceptor said there were no errors.

Jerk.

Feb 18, 2010 at 11:59 am rating: 0
#7.8 anglophile

I guess maybe I should have pointed it out a little pointy-er, because apparently I didn’t get my point across.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:18 pm rating: 5
#7.9 park rose

Time stamps are not that well understood, ‘glo. But then, I thought maybe Kate did understand them, and she was calling herself a dork in a self-effacing way once she realised her error? Though since we lost our edit button, I’m not so sure and 7.7 seems to tell me otherwise.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:49 pm rating: 2
#7.10 sleeps

Sigh. Here’s the point FeRD was making, Kate the Great; the three comments that anglophile, Park Rose and I had made PRIOR to your comment, were all pointing out the ‘bare’ error, just in a subtle and humorous way. Then you came along and said, “Yeah huh, there is an error, he said bare instead of bear!!” Get it? See how the ‘naked truth’ and ‘barely noticed’ are references to the error? But then you came along with your very literal explanation of it and put us all to shame.

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:31 pm rating: 2
#7.11 park rose

To give credit where credit is due, #5 and 5.1 just beat most of us to the punch, as well. Damned alcoholics. True, though, nobody spelt it out quite like KTG ♥

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:42 pm rating: 1
#7.12 sleeps

True on 5 & 5.1, earlier and probably funnier :). Images of naked, pasty Brits dance in my head.

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:59 pm rating: 2

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#8 Kathryn

Now this is the way to write a complaint letter… Someone was listening in class when the teacher said “Say two things they did right and then one thing they could improve upon.”

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm rating: 42 small thumbs up

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#9 kathy

Um, this doesn’t qualify as passive agressive in any way. It is straightforward, polite, and pretty reasonable. Hard not to like the folks in Flat 3.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm rating: 15 small thumbs up

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#9.1 Seriously? Again with the "this isn't passive-aggressive" crap?

Um, hence the introduction, and the “actually totally reasonable” tag. I think Alestair and Kerry both made it pretty clear that this wasn’t being called out for being “passive agressive.”

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 18
#9.2 Tim Kolb

PA notes using sarcasm are the best kind.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 4
#9.3 sleeps

Um, but it is, you see. The passive part is the fact that it’s a note, first off; after-the-fact note-leaving in and of itself being a passive response. Also passive is the faux-friendly and pleasant overtones. The ‘aggressive’ part comes in where they’re basically saying STFU and also using copious amounts of sarcasm. Just because it’s polite doesn’t mean it’s not PA; my mother in law is living proof of that.

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:43 pm rating: 29
#9.4 Sarah

Are you serious? This is absolutely positively Passive Aggressiveness at its finest!

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:16 pm rating: 24
#9.5 felix

This is absolutely THE single most passive aggressive note that’s been posted here.

This is the very definition of passive aggression.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:24 am rating: 13
#9.6 DanielMac

In descending order, my preference for people who would be my neighbours:
1. Flat 3
2. Aleister
3. Anyone criticizing Flat 3 for how they handled this.

Feb 18, 2010 at 6:33 am rating: 14
#9.7 aaa

a) http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/wtf
b) The top of your browser window should say “PassiveAggressiveNotes.com – funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people”.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:05 pm rating: 6

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#10 Kevin

Best STFU note ever. So polite!

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 8 small thumbs up

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#11 Tim Kolb

Thought about knocking on my upstairs neighbor’s door dressed in only my underwear at 3:30 am when he decides to jam but maybe I will just send a PA note so you all can enjoy.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#12 maggie

when i left my upstairs neighbours a note like this (i also slept below their living room), they responded very harshly. next time i just called the cops.

Feb 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 21 small thumbs up

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#13 cq

team flat 3

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:05 pm rating: 20 small thumbs up

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#14 Tiffany

I read that note and heard the Geico Gecko in my head. I wish I could be so polite when the neighbors piss me off.

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:06 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#15 dave

ahem~
I have a telltale feeling that note writer lives by himself. Those, we/us, are just referring to voices in his heads.

Feb 17, 2010 at 6:53 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#15.1 Kate the Great

You’d be driven insane, too, if you had horrid downstairs neighbors like this.

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:02 pm rating: 7
#15.2 Kate the Great

And by “horrid” I of course mean “inconsiderate.” Anyone who is self-effacing enough to allow this to be seen by the masses has to be pretty cool.

Still, mess with my sleep and you’re not just getting a note.

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:04 pm rating: 5
#15.3 park rose

dave, I think you’re onto something:
Who has not tried to sing all of these parts at some time of their life (lives), and I’m not even getting into the (Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro
Magnifico-o-o-o-o
part. Especially at 4.15 in the morning!

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go
Let me go (Will not let you go)
Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never)
Let me go, o, o, o, o
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go
Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!

Poor flat 4! I’m on team one and four. Except for the exceptional music taste comment, but I’m assuming that was taking the piss, and is one of those intensifiers which can go any way the wind blows.

Feb 17, 2010 at 8:48 pm rating: 1
#15.4 park rose

Oh, hold on, dave was talking about the note-writer. Oh well, just to stir things up, I’ll go with FAC below at 13, and assume this is Lizzie dancing and singing by herself in flat one, or even if Philip was helping out, it would still be difficult to bear, especially if they were bare. And who hasn’t tried to sing all the parts?
*Coff* No-one?
Okay… I’ll just move along then.

Feb 17, 2010 at 9:02 pm rating: 1
#15.5 GhostWriter

Q: Did Aleister alone perform all the singing?
A: Possibly- These are all classics that a brave tenor would attempt.

Q; Did anybody complain?
A: No- A note this respectful was obviously penned by the singer himself. “Wow what a night of singing I just had! Now, wouldn’t it be great if somebody accidentally heard it all and appreciated it enough to notify me?”

Feb 18, 2010 at 10:48 am rating: 2
#15.6 park rose

Not a bad theory, GW.
Another one. I can’t really look at the name Aleister without thinking of this bloke. Incantations invoking Beelzebub, no doubt backwards (naturally – Beelzebub does a mean moonwalk), with a unhealthy dose of Paul Simon to tie it all together. No wonder flat 3 (got it right!) complained. Though they obviously do not fear the wrath of the dark side. Maybe Aleister and his followers haven’t quite got down the finer points of the black arts, yet. It’s a Kind of Magick, after all.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm rating: 5
#15.7 aaa

Aleister Crowley looks like a twelve-year-old in that first photo. At least Aleister The Singer-Songwriter looks like a normal adult. And I guess he gets hipster cred with the scarf, there.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:18 pm rating: 2

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#16 Saffron Lee

Oh, sure. This is the way to write a note when your neighbors are totally self-centred drunken asshats. Because people like that really deserve to be coddled like they are entitled to special treatment. You know, because, they’re special. More special than anyone else.

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:08 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#16.1 park rose

You got Brass in Pocket, Saffron Lee?

Feb 17, 2010 at 8:49 pm rating: 4
#16.2 aaa

You don’t read between the lines very well, do you?

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:19 pm rating: 2

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#17 Wade bang

If only they had played the Eurythmics version, all would have been well.

Would I lie to you?

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:15 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#17.1 park rose

I know, Wade. Sweet Dreams are made of this.

Feb 17, 2010 at 8:50 pm rating: 3
#17.2 Wade

I guess their problem is This City Never Sleeps.

At least that’s what Somebody Told Me.

Feb 17, 2010 at 9:28 pm rating: 5
#17.3 park rose

I think it might be that some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you; some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused. If you get the right pairing, it’s win-win.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:57 am rating: 4
#17.4 MAMARILLA2

Hey, we built this city on Rock and Roll..

Feb 20, 2010 at 8:07 pm rating: 2

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#18 farcical aquatic ceremony

Hey, maybe it’s the ROYAL we?!? Queen Lizzie rockin’ it with her homies upstairs, Chuck–trying to stay anon. as “Alastair”–simply couldn’t take it anymore. (Their awful singing the sort of thing up with which he will not put, after all…)

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:21 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#18.1 farcical aquatic ceremony

dammit.
gigglebrax fail @ #16

also,
sale on Always (“have a happy period!”) @ aisle 17

BINGO! @ C-18

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:24 pm rating: 0
#18.2 farcical aquatic ceremony

dammit MORE.
actual gigglebrax fail was @ #15

(I blame my still-frozen toes.)

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:25 pm rating: 3
#18.3 Beanster

you’re cute. let’s cuddle.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:04 pm rating: 3
#18.4 farcical aquatic ceremony

((

(consider yourself spooned.)

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:19 pm rating: 1
#18.5 Beanster

i find this spooning helpful to both our cold toes.

(all our cold toes? all of my cold toes and all of your cold toes. i assume we both have more than one cold toe. we have so much in common.)

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:22 pm rating: 2
#18.6 park rose

toe jam at 4.15 am, flat 1! keep that racket down, would you?!

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:59 am rating: 1

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#19 stream of bat's piss

All believable until they slip up and make the claim that they actually like Paul Simon.

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:41 pm rating: 7 small thumbs up

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#19.1 Beanster

are you saying that it is unbelievable to like paul simon?

well i guess there are a lot of unbelievable things about me. (my body, my wit and charm, my always fresh body odour… i could go on)

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:06 pm rating: 2
#19.2 it was me

Wait, doesn’t everybody like Paul Simon??? Might need to update my “Party Jamz” CD.

Feb 18, 2010 at 8:41 am rating: 2

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#20 your ass is grass

whot???? no fucking depeche mode?

Feb 17, 2010 at 7:47 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#21 rox

There is *nothing* PA about this letter. Lame.

Feb 17, 2010 at 8:08 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#21.1 aaa

Try reading the top of your browser window. Or, um, maybe this: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/wtf

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:08 pm rating: 3

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#22 iknow

PA? Hardly. Aggressive? After lying awake in bed for 4 hours then writing a one page well thought hillarious dry sarcastic note with a direct to the point summation? Yep that’s a real alpha type go getter. Palease. It is cool to know there are others out there that live in a friendly world. I come across so many that would have pounded on the ceiling until the brink of popping an anuerism then the next step would be pound on door screaming mother f*cker shut the f*ck up or conversley the chicken shit silent type that calls the cops and pretends they didn’t hear any noise last night? “The cops were here? Really? Last night? No man it wasn’t me that called them.”

Oh and to the brit that thinks americans are wankors because we see the humor that your sorry ass son of a bitch angry world living self cannot, that’s cool I personally can live with that. Whatever dude, jimmy cracked corn…

Feb 17, 2010 at 9:37 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#22.1 park rose

Hey, iknow. If you’re talking about the comment at 2.1, I think Ethnic Avenue is American. I think that’s why s/he said ‘our …American perspective’.

Also, I think he was calling the note-writers wankers, not the many people from all walks of life who post at PAN.

Feb 17, 2010 at 9:44 pm rating: 5
#22.2 Canthz_B

Why pound on the ceiling? Were they supposed to get help from the folks in Flat 5?

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:31 pm rating: 9
#22.3 felix

A problem shared is a problem halved, as my dear old Gran used to say.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:26 am rating: 8

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#23 Beanster bang

dear flat 1.

last night sounded fun. i wanted to come play, but i was shy and in my footie pajamas (mum doesn’t like it when i’m barefoot) and so i didn’t come down. next time can you have a super fun party before my bedtime?

flat 3.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#24 Canthz_B bang

You really should not sing loud enough to wake the neighbors if the PA note you may get can be addressed to “Flat One”.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:26 pm rating: 16 small thumbs up

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#24.1 park rose

Sharp, CB, #. ♥

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:42 pm rating: 4
#24.2 Canthz_B

Meh, it was pretty Minor, rose.

Feb 17, 2010 at 10:50 pm rating: 5
#24.3 Clumber

At least you two were able to come to achord.

Feb 18, 2010 at 5:23 pm rating: 4
#24.4 Canthz_B

Just firing off our 88′s, Clumber!

Feb 19, 2010 at 1:52 am rating: 2
#24.5 MAMARILLA2

It was definitely a major lift in my sense of humor, the bridge was nothing to fret about.

Feb 20, 2010 at 8:37 pm rating: 2
#24.6 park rose

You certainly know how to pick ‘em yet maintain the tension, ‘rilla. Then you run with ‘em. After all, what’s a thread around here that’s not strung out and furiously plucked?

Sometimes the expectoration is too much*

*Sorry, phlegm always rises when I think of the word plectrum.

Feb 20, 2010 at 9:55 pm rating: 3
#24.7 Canthz_B

I hoped someone would string this out, and viola! Glad you ladies didn’t bow out.

Feb 21, 2010 at 2:49 am rating: 1
#24.8 MAMARILLA2

The treble will be in finding all the kapo-ble and harmonizing stings. You can’t just put in any old sync.

Feb 21, 2010 at 2:02 pm rating: 1
#24.9 park rose

I heard a rumour that Aleister’s singing was closer to the tune of a fork being pitched into and then out of the kitchen sync, along with every thing else in the flat, rather than the sweet buzz of a barber shop. You can’t really blame flat 3 for their consternation.

You still enjoying this thread, CB? I thought it might be getting metronomeness.

Feb 21, 2010 at 10:45 pm rating: 1
#24.10 Canthz_B

Rose, I admit that after a few years I may be getting a little tone-deaf, but I still laugh out loud to a comment delivered with perfect pitch.

Feb 22, 2010 at 1:22 am rating: 1

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#25 Folksy McBride bang

The way the note begins: “We are sorry to bother you, but….” tells me all I need to know about the folks in Flat 3.

They’re the kind of people who think nothing of wasting your time by expecting you to read some hastily scrawled, lengthy manifesto about whatever.

If I were in Flat 1, I’d report Flat 3 to the landlord and suggest that they be evicted.

They’re probably squatters, anyway. Typical.

“Good bye and good riddance,” I say.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:32 am rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#25.1 park rose

Flat 3, eh? Where’s that damned edit button!

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:51 am rating: 0
#25.2 Kate

Saying’ sorry to bother you’ is just being English.

As and English person, if someone stands on my toe I don’t say ‘what you you think you are doing asshat?’ I say sorry. It’s how we are.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:18 pm rating: 8
#25.3 park rose

I wonder. I live in Japan. I have quite a few English friends. They are polite, it is true, but not that much politer than my North American friends. And funny. They also don’t wish to return to England permanently at the moment because they feel it is violent. True, I’d probably apologise if someone trod on my foot too, to ease the tension, not that I’m English – but it also might be because the toe-treader’s actions might be more deliberate than polite and ‘sorry’ is the most prudent way of hopefully not getting the rest of me worked over.

I think a lot of users of English use the expression, “Sorry to bother you.” Plus Folksy’s got a pretty mean handle on subtle absurdity. You might want to reread his comment.

I hope that your mother let didn’t let you go out without socks and shoes. It’s obviously a lot more hazardous than we all first thought.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:23 pm rating: 4
#25.4 Canthz_B

Hmm, here in the States if someone steps on your foot, they make the apology…or get shot in the face if it happens in the dance club. LOL

Feb 19, 2010 at 2:00 am rating: 2

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#26 ohreally

I am sorely tempted to copy/adapt this note for my next door neighbors. It’s not a party over there unless it starts past 1 AM. And they have a couple small children (one just over a year old). I am half convinced the toddler is the one behind the middle of the night dance parties. Sometimes, baby just wants to dance.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:46 am rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#27 Scott

Yes, but what did Morrigan think?

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:51 am rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#28 Keith

There’s a grammar error as well – should have been “woken up”, not “woke up”, (line 1, paragragh 3)

A request at 2.30 a.m. to “please turn the noise down, or, better, off” is quite likely to be rewarded with a punch in the face, or worse.

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:44 am rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#28.1 Keith

sorry – my mistake; no grammar error. misread the note.

*goes to sit on the naughty step*

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:53 am rating: 3
#28.2 Grant

The ‘WOKE UP’ part is not a grammatical error. It’s PA taken to the pinnacle of the art form. It suggests they woke up naturally and discovered the party, rather than having their sleep disturbed; almost like it’s their own fault.

This letter is pure genius.

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:57 am rating: 14

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#29 Oink

I’m loving how some people have turned to Brit-bashing above, but that’s the Internet for you and it’s not like us Brits don’t do enough of the reverse.

I’d like to say, firstly excellent handwriting. Secondly, passive aggressive yes but also they seem like witty people. I like this note – and if they were my neighbours I’d suggest some mutual karaoke to get to know them

Feb 18, 2010 at 4:00 am rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#29.1 anglophile

There was Brit-bashing? How come I always miss out on the fun?

Maybe you Brits are super-sensitive, Oink, because this comment thread has been one of the most cordial we’ve had around here for a while.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:25 pm rating: 4
#29.2 Canthz_B

I’d like to thank Oink for not saying “Yanks”.
We Mets fans find that hard to take!

Feb 19, 2010 at 11:44 pm rating: 0

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#30 Mark

I have to be honest and say that I am on the side of the note-writing neighbour. Considering that the inconsiderate singing asshole kept them up all night with his singing, the note is actually quite friendly. Some of us do have to get up very early in the morning for work. We can’t all sit up at 4.15am singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Alistair, you are a selfish asshole.

Feb 18, 2010 at 6:33 am rating: 7 small thumbs up

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#31 lownote

An excellent example of the PAN. It has sarcasm, layered with aggression hidden in compliments. Of course a few examples of clip art would have improved it beyond measure but I assume in their sleep deprived state it was hard to locate some so am willing to let that slide this time

Feb 18, 2010 at 8:07 am rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#31.1 Bunnee

How can you put clip art on a handwritten note? Draw the pictures in the margins?

Feb 18, 2010 at 10:29 am rating: 2
#31.2 lownote

That would have been acceptable Or maybe cut some out and stick it on….but like I said under the circumstances this was written I am happy to let it slide.

Feb 19, 2010 at 3:42 am rating: 1

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#32 Q

I’d be nice to them regarding their spelling and grammar errors– after all, they were far nicer than I would have been. I would have banged on their ceiling or gone up to their door and demanded that they *at least* play something from when more people (I.e. me) were alive.

Feb 18, 2010 at 8:40 am rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#32.1 sleeps

Oh god. There are actually people posting on PAN that weren’t alive at least when Wayne’s World came out? Come on. Jebus, I feel old.

Feb 18, 2010 at 10:39 am rating: 4
#32.2 anglophile

Having been alive when it was first released makes me feel even older, sleeps.

Damn kids are still on my lawn!

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:37 pm rating: 3
#32.3 park rose

Ageing populations around the world might mean that Aleister actually was playing music that was from a time when more people were (and probably still are) alive.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:37 pm rating: 2
#32.4 Canthz_B

Old.

A co-worker asked me what I was listening to the other day. I told her I was listening to The O’Jays.
She said she loves The O’Jays…her parents played them all the time while she was a little girl.

Old.

Feb 19, 2010 at 11:52 pm rating: 1

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#33 aaaaaaa

Team Patronising Upper-middle-class Smug Neighbours

Good old Pommy PA

Feb 18, 2010 at 9:00 am rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#34 Matt L

How the hell do you set caps lock on hand writing?

Feb 18, 2010 at 9:57 am rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#35 Sadi

Team neighbors. I would have called the cops by 3:00.

Feb 18, 2010 at 10:10 am rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#36 GhostWriter bang

Flat 3,

Your note was neatly penned and your argument clearly presented. Thank you for your submittal.

However, please note that the Queen song with repetitive “havin’ a good time…” lyrics is, in fact, titled “Don’t Stop me Now”.

As any self-respecting Brit would know this, I must hereby disqualify your note from further consideration.

– Flat 1

Feb 18, 2010 at 10:54 am rating: 12 small thumbs up

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#36.1 Edwina the Defrocked Nun

Ghostwriter, that actually would be a reasonable way to respond to this note!

At least it says “we read your note.”

Feb 18, 2010 at 11:14 am rating: 0

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#37 shwonline bang

Dear Flat 3,

Guys in future please use capital letters only at the beginning of sentences and formal nouns so it does not appear that you are shouting your very polite letter.

Flat 1

Feb 18, 2010 at 11:21 am rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#38 Kate

This note is the epitome of passive aggressive notes.

I can just imagine them laying there all night getting more and more angry.
Reading between the lines I can see just how furious the are. However it never does to come across quite annoyed and this would get to me much more than a note saying ‘shut up you dick’.

It’s like when I used to work in customer facing jobs, if a customer was loosing it and really having a go at me I would just be all the more polite, they just don’t know how to act.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:23 pm rating: 10 small thumbs up

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#38.1 park rose

Loose bowels are a sad side effect of the ageing population. I do admire your stoicism in the face of a potentially embarrassing situation for all, not to mention, unpleasant. I would suggest, though, keeping a roll of toilet paper handy. It might provide relief all round for all involved.

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:42 pm rating: 3
#38.2 Kate

*Damn lack of edit function and failing to proof read correctly’.

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:16 pm rating: 1
#38.3 park rose

I’m hearing you. Just noticed one way above. And that’s just the one I’ve noticed!

Feb 19, 2010 at 12:43 am rating: 1

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#39 Frankie bang

Personally I like the standing naked in the hallway with a knife approach, but this note’s pretty good too.

Feb 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#40 aaa bang

Singer-songwriter
You suck. New career maybe?
Go to fucking sleep!

Feb 18, 2010 at 1:14 pm rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#41 sleeps

Someone really should help poor Aleister. Can’t they see he’s being repressed?

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#42 lauren

I side with the note-writer. Whether it was sarcastic or sincere, it’s tough to argue against their point.

Feb 18, 2010 at 2:36 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#43 Na

I don’t see anything wrong with choosing to be polite and civilised even if you might be feeling like you want to scream and be rude.

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:51 pm rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#43.1 anglophile

See, though, the thing is, if they had really wanted to be polite and civilized, they would have, at the time of the concert, put on their robe and slippers and walked down the stairs, knocked on the door and said, “hey, you’re keeping us awake. Could you please be quieter?”

Instead, they fumed all night long and in the morning got up, wrote this note which is dripping with sarcasm, not at all polite, and shoved it under the door.

It is not polite because they are clearly pissed off (and with reason), and it’s completely passive-aggressive because he knows perfectly well who to approach to solve the problem, but yet decided to write a note and slip it under the door, thus ducking all chance at actual confrontation.

It’s a thing of beauty in the world of passive-aggressive notes.

Feb 18, 2010 at 4:25 pm rating: 5

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#44 Lilli

Too freakin’ proper. If this guy was in New York, he’d get a crack upside the head down in the lobby by the mailboxes. That always gets the point across much quicker in NY.

Feb 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#45 eyeung bang

Wow, the note made ME feel like scum, and I’m just reading it. Way passive, with just enough aggression to push it over the edge. Well done!

Feb 18, 2010 at 4:38 pm rating: 6 small thumbs up

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#46 oi bang

The best part of the note? the third paragraph where they explain that why they chose to write a note and not to confront them. they seared the whole night from the loud karaoke above but they did not want to come across as grumpy neighbors. These are the guys one should be afraid of and not the loudmouth tattooed guy.

Feb 18, 2010 at 4:58 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#47 we

This note is fake, the text doesn’t look right at all on the ‘crumpled’ background. Not a very good fake either. boo.

Feb 18, 2010 at 5:03 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#47.1 Frankie

How do we know you’re not fake?! Hmmmm? How do I know that I’m not fake for that matter? What if all of this is fake? What if the whole world is fake and you are the only thing that’s real?!!!! IF that’s the case then I don’t think you are a very good real…

Feb 18, 2010 at 5:18 pm rating: 12

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#48 jugga jugga

yo this sites the bomb. thats some funny shit those ppl probly like 100 years old gettin all pissed about a party.

anyway this site pretty good but like half of it pretty protentius and most people probly dont get the jokes but the other stuff is pretty funny like this note about the party. also please do more notes about juggalos and ICP! much luv to ma clowns!!!

Feb 18, 2010 at 7:32 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#48.1 lownote

Can anyone help me out here, I’m over 30 and British and have no idea what jugga jugga just said, did I miss anything important?

Feb 19, 2010 at 3:47 am rating: 6
#48.2 park rose

It was pretty portentous and shit! So maybe.

Feb 19, 2010 at 4:39 am rating: 3
#48.3 Canthz_B

I think…um…well I…er…I’d say…ah…Nope, can’tmake heads or tails of it.

Feb 20, 2010 at 12:00 am rating: 1
#48.4 Kate

Translation:

Gosh this site is jolly funny. I find it hysterical that people, who are considerably older than me, get upset by a small soiree.

Although this site is good some of it is a little to highbrow for the likes of me. I did rather enjoy this note.

Please send my kind regards to my compatriots.

Feb 20, 2010 at 7:56 am rating: 15

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#49 Tasha

I’d like Flat 3 to be my boss.

Feb 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#50 Oink

Lownote – I wish I could help.

I almost got distracted with “protentius” but kept on trying to make sense of it. I haven’t a clue about “juggalos and ICP” (gigolos? TCP?) though so I might have missed something very important. As for the reference to ‘clowns’, I’m led to presume that jugga jugga joined a circus rather than worked harder at learning the language.

Feb 19, 2010 at 4:09 am rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#50.1 park rose

He’s a spammer, I think, oink and lownote. He’s got a similar post on the next note

Feb 19, 2010 at 4:40 am rating: 0
#50.2 anglophile

Except his link doesn’t go anywhere. I’m thinking one too many huffs from the spray paint.

Feb 19, 2010 at 6:23 am rating: 0
#50.3 park rose

Oh, okay ‘glo. I didn’t click the link.

Feb 19, 2010 at 7:42 am rating: 0
#50.4 sleeps

ICP = Insane Clown Posse

Feb 19, 2010 at 10:38 am rating: 2
#50.5 Canthz_B

ICP = Incomplete Conception Product

Feb 20, 2010 at 12:06 am rating: 0
#50.6 park rose

That makes sense, too, sleeps. Thanks.

Feb 20, 2010 at 10:37 am rating: 0

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#51 Oink

Park rose – Oh yes I noticed that after I posted. Thanks.

Feb 19, 2010 at 4:57 am rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#52 Aleister

Wow! Lots of debate.

The next day we brought Flat 3 a bottle of wine in recognition of this note. Now we’re all friends.

The ‘Brit’ comments are off piste. In addition to Flat 3, we also have a neighbour next door who screams “shut the fuck up” at Flat 4 when they party, and a lady two doors down whose boyfriend knocked on the door and threatened to throw a beer bottle through our window once. You just can’t scan those events in and submit them to a website I suppose. Between us, those neighbours and Flat 3 you have a fairly good cross-section of inner-city London dwellers and an indication of how English people vary when it comes to confrontation.

Feb 19, 2010 at 7:23 am rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#53 Oink

Aleister – Nice update. But by “English” I presume you mean “British”…

Feb 19, 2010 at 9:57 am rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#53.1 Kate

I dare you to go to Glasgow and tell a chap in a pub there he’s British.

Feb 20, 2010 at 7:58 am rating: 4
#53.2 park rose

Oink, you’ve gotta learn to gigglebrax (nest your comments), and I’m telling you nicely

Feb 20, 2010 at 10:05 pm rating: 1

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#54 ICP

For those of you not familiar with “Insane Clown Posse” and their fanbase made up of “Juggalos,” the following video gives some insight:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMv9d1pIoBA

Feb 19, 2010 at 11:21 am rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#54.1 park rose

ICP guy, I’ve seen the videos and all, but why choose PAN?

Feb 22, 2010 at 8:27 pm rating: 0

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#55 Lucy

Lovin’ the xenophobia here. Really. Cheers for that.

A Brit.

Feb 19, 2010 at 1:54 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#55.1 Beanster

hi Lucy.

i dont think we’ve met. we are the people that post on PAN. nice to make your acquaintance. here at PAN snark, smug and sarcastic are equivalent to tall, dark and handsome in real life. as such, calling brits any of the above should not be read as discordant or negative. in fact, quite the opposite is true.

a smug/snark/sarcasm lover

Feb 19, 2010 at 2:58 pm rating: 12
#55.2 anglophile

I really don’t see where you get xenophobia.

Not one single joke about bad dental care on the whole thread.

Actually, I’m kind of disappointed in you all.

Feb 19, 2010 at 9:20 pm rating: 4
#55.3 Canthz_B

Doesn’t the word Anglophile mean something, Lucy?
What was it again?

Feb 20, 2010 at 12:11 am rating: 2
#55.4 Kate

Bad teeth is a good pay off for completely free health care in my book.

The reason most British people have bad teeth is that we have to pay for dental care and very few of us have health insurance because health care is free.

Feb 20, 2010 at 8:00 am rating: 2
#55.5 anglophile

Well, here in America, I have to pay for my dental care, too. I’ve never had dental insurance and so therefore have paid out of pocket for all dental work done. I budget for my dental care.

Now, if only I had free health care like you British, I wouldn’t have to pay half of my health insurance premiums and co-pays, then I’d have a lot more money to spend on my teeth, I think.

Feb 20, 2010 at 8:21 am rating: 3
#55.6 Kate

True, but you know what it’s like.
It’s like when they say, ‘if you gave up smoking then you’d have enough money to buy a new car by the end of the year’. Never work out like that though does it?

Also we just don’t put so much store in having perfect teeth, it’s like having a facelift, people just don’t do it that often.
Because everyone has rubbish teeth no one really notices.

Feb 20, 2010 at 8:51 am rating: 2
#55.7 anglophile

Just the non-British people.

Feb 20, 2010 at 9:22 am rating: 3
#55.8 Canthz_B

Not to put too fine a point on it because I favor universal health care, but your health care isn’t free unless you don’t pay any taxes.

Feb 20, 2010 at 2:41 pm rating: 4

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#56 CourtH

The note’s a little passive aggressive, but it’s still a pretty nice way of dealing with the situation.

If I lived in Flat 3, Flat 1 would have had a visit from the police rather than an PA note.

Feb 19, 2010 at 8:11 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#57 Flats

What the fuck is a flat? Are those the things where hobbits live?

Do they mean appartment?

Feb 19, 2010 at 8:12 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#57.1 park rose

Maybe apartment. Conversations like this are really tedious, flats.

Feb 20, 2010 at 10:36 am rating: 4
#57.2 Canthz_B

The Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe had a really large flat.
Her husband left her with all those children…what a heel he was,

Feb 21, 2010 at 2:43 am rating: 1

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#58 BoggyWoggy

fake, fake, fake. I’ve used that same background “paper” on notes online before.

Feb 21, 2010 at 7:36 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#58.1 Canthz_B

Long, long time no see!
Welcome home!

Feb 22, 2010 at 1:27 am rating: 0

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#59 lindsay

I wish I had the nerve to do this when I lived in an apartment!

Feb 22, 2010 at 8:41 am rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#60 Confused

I’m confused – why didn’t Flat 3 just knock on Flat 1′s door and politely ask them to cut it out at 2:30 am? Or am I being too Canadian?

Feb 22, 2010 at 8:17 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#60.1 park rose

Would you get an equally polite response, Confused? I know it would take a lot to get me out of bed on a cold winter’s night after I’d finally warmed up to please tell someone if they wouldn’t mind toning it down a bit. I can imagine lying there weighing up the cold over the possibility that my neighbours will surely stop caterwauling soon. One minute slides into the next, you fall into a fitful slumber, annoyance mounts, and before you know it, it’s 6 a.m. I’m not sure which I would have done.

Feb 22, 2010 at 8:24 pm rating: 4

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#61 Sesquipedalian

Being British, I was aghast to notice that Aleister, who is apparently also British (possibly of Scottish origin given his full name), used the American English spelling of ‘defense’ rather than the British English ‘defence’. Perhaps he sings with a faux-American accent too, thus further justifying his neighbours’ discomfiture.

Feb 23, 2010 at 10:18 am rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#61.1 park rose

In Aleister’s defence, though, U.K. English does tend to favour an /s/ rather than a /z/ in spelling, and then there are all those pesky nouns:
practice, advice and licence
verbs:
practise, advise, license.
Seeing as U.S. English tends to use the one form of practice to cover both meanings of the word, it’s kind of logical to think that defence is actually the American usage and not the British, if you follow my reasoning (both sharing a -ence suffix).
I also think that the American spelling of the noun and verb for licence is license (thereby nulling and voiding my previous reasoning). I don’t know the etymology of defence/defense, but I wonder if a similar noun-verb differentiation once existed. Even though defense/defence does the job for both the noun and the verb, I get confused every time I need to spell the word because of what I have murkily outlined above. If you’ve got a great memory, then all props to you.

Feb 28, 2010 at 2:21 am rating: 1