Writes Jarrod in Australia: “This was published in the local newspaper where my sister is a reporter. On first observation, it doesn’t seem like much of a passive-aggressive note, but the backstory behind it is that the owner of the paper has been refusing to have the building sprayed for spiders, thinking it unnecessary.” The staff’s response?
“For the record,” Jarrod adds, “the redback spider is related to the black widow, but more toxic (has killed people, but not recently).”
related: What’s black, white, and totally over?
extra credit: The Death of Print Journalism
80 responses so far ↓
#1
infant tyrone
Probably about a second or two after finding this charming example of biodiversity, the discoverer was able to determine the second life form that needed to be disposed of by any means necessary.
Feb 28, 2010 at 6:52 am rating: 13
#2
matt
must have been a slow news day, i cant recall the last time a bloody red-back spider made headlines..
Feb 28, 2010 at 7:36 am rating: 1
#3
joan
I’d just like to point out that, though notorious, the redback isn’t that dangerous. The Red Cross (Melbourne) advice for bites was identical to bee stings: apply icepack, and take patient to hospital only if they are very young, very old or suffering respiratory distress.
Which is why the journalist “brushed it aside”. If it had been a funnel web, they would have hit it until it fell to the floor, then jumped on in repeatedly shouting “die, die, die”
(this was in 1990s. Advice may have changed)
Feb 28, 2010 at 7:42 am rating: 17
#4
tilywinn
Perhaps the spider just wanted to surf the web.
Feb 28, 2010 at 7:45 am rating: 91
#5
T
It’s nice to know that newspaper publishers are cheap across the world.
Feb 28, 2010 at 8:07 am rating: 10
#6
TippingCows
Perhaps the owner is a giant spider in disguise, and is waiting for the right moment to capture all the newspaper workers in one web-spinning upon which to feast.
Mwahahahaha!
Feb 28, 2010 at 8:09 am rating: 10
#7
Fanboy Wife
This is what happened to the headlines when Peter Parker got promoted to editor.
Feb 28, 2010 at 9:03 am rating: 55
#8
park rose
We used to live in fear and loathing of them when we were kids, but the redback hasn’t killed any people since 1956 (according to Wikipedia), however spare a thought for her poor mating partner:
Feb 28, 2010 at 10:25 am rating: 13
#9
Q
I think that leaving the spiders there and not spraying is the editor’s own PA way of telling his staff that he doesn’t like them much….
Feb 28, 2010 at 11:00 am rating: 5
#10
Bunnee
“A floor to ceiling web”?!?!?!?! EEEEEWWWW! What if you walked into that? I bet it would look like you were having a seizure. (Because a “regular sized” web just makes people look like they are mildly bad dancers)
Feb 28, 2010 at 11:58 am rating: 31
#11
F. Pelayo
Just a little FYI: the link to “black, white, and totally over” isn’t working. (the date numbers in the URL should actually be 2008/12/11)
Feb 28, 2010 at 12:23 pm rating: 1
#12
Critical Grass
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… and spiders.
Feb 28, 2010 at 1:38 pm rating: 8
#13
Katie
This is the MOST passive aggressive note. Perfect!
Feb 28, 2010 at 2:26 pm rating: 2
#14
snatchbeast
Newspapers still exist?
Feb 28, 2010 at 2:45 pm rating: 4
#15
julius
“One of our workers” found a spider on “their keyboard”?
Instead of asking for an exterminator, maybe these people should ask their boss for a stack of AP Stylebooks so they can learn proper pronoun-antecedent agreement.
Feb 28, 2010 at 4:01 pm rating: 9
#16
K
My reaction was kind of *scroll down* *Split second pause* *scream the place down*
Amusing article though, all the same.
Feb 28, 2010 at 4:17 pm rating: 2
#17
Mel K
Ceiling to keyboard web! Hasn’t the owner seen that William Shatner movie “Kingdom of the Spiders”? Get out now.
I would love to see this included in the next series of the WorkSafe ads or Media Watch.
Feb 28, 2010 at 5:26 pm rating: 3
#18
park rose
It’s a beat-up. All that Red wanted to do was to brush up her typing skills. Could she help it that, if they employed her, she was likely to eat all the male employees – they would, after all, die with a smile on their faces. And could she help it that eight legs are better than two hands? Holding down the shift key while simultaneously searching for the comma (always a few steps ahead of herself). . . and calculating the monthly budget in another window, posting on PAN, and tending the farm; she was all over that keyboard. It wasn’t that the (female) employees feared for their lives. It was they knew once the boss saw how effective Red was, able to do the jobs of four workers at once, and requiring only ants and the occasional lizard as recompense, their days at the Pastoral Times were numbered. Exterminate or be exterminated, became the name of the game.
Feb 28, 2010 at 5:27 pm rating: 10
#19
Nox
I don’t care if its the last of its species, and I am the destroyer of millions of years of evolution:
If I see a spider, I squish it.
If I could put its tiny spider head on a spear as a warning to all other spiders to stay outta my house, I would.
Feb 28, 2010 at 5:36 pm rating: 24
#20
Wordtinker doesnt smith
Spiders and mice are the reasons I have multiple cats. What one doesn’t catch and kill, the other does.
That said, rubber spiders are my best friend at work. No one’s tried to swipe my lunch since I started packing Nellie, my trusty rubber black widow. There have been a few cases of jars shattering against the frig accompanied by hysterical screaming, though.
Feb 28, 2010 at 7:21 pm rating: 11
#21
Canthz_B
I don’t know about any one else, but a spider that starts at the floor and spins upward (Spiderman-like) would scare the shit outta me!
That’s some gravity-defying stuff for sure, and must have something to do with the Devil himself.
Or maybe just it’s a poorly trained un-named “journalist”, which is scarier still.
Mar 1, 2010 at 1:34 am rating: 1
#22
Grant
If the newspaper disappears from our planet, what will we roll-up to dispatch spiders with?
Mar 1, 2010 at 5:09 am rating: 4
#23
matty-wat
Ms. Redback: Come on over here*pats bed* and lets get it on.
Mr. Redback: Hey baby, hold me in your arms, all eight of them.
Ms. R: Mmmm…
Mr.R: Aaaah…sweet MYStery of LIFE at last I’ve FOUND you. What the…? NOOO!
Ms. R: That spider was fucking delicious!
Mar 1, 2010 at 11:22 am rating: 12
#24
Mo®
Harry Redback: You were going to be a gymnast.
Sally Redback: A journalist.
Harry Redback: Right, that’s what I said.
Mar 1, 2010 at 1:47 pm rating: 2
#25
Pete
I just gotta say it! But spraying for spiders doesn’t really work very well. And you poison yourself unnecessarily with the spray. D’oh!!
Mar 3, 2010 at 9:53 pm rating: 1
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