Not all messages from the beyond come in the form of, say, a Jesus-shaped Cheeto.

“Usually Oprah and her magazine are empowering and inspiring,” says Bek in Cape Coral, Florida — but then she opened her latest issue of O and found this “Live Your Best Life weekend” sweepstakes entry code. “Now I know the truth. They should just mail the magazine in a brown paper bag so I could wear it over my head. *sniff*”

Meanwhile, Matt in Tulsa, Oklahoma was trying to submit a note right here at Passiveaggressivenotes.com. “Then the Captcha widget pulled out its Ouija board and cast its voodoo on my employment situation,” he says. “I almost cried.”

And then, of course, there’s always the bizarrely ominous fortune cookie…

related: Quoth the Buzzard: WTF?

Erin in Arlington, Virginia says this sign appeared in every elevator in her building during the D.C. area’s Snowmaggedon of 2010. “Apparently cabin fever requires drinks…and only people in their 20s and early 30s.”

related: no girls allowed

You know how it’s usually way easier to write off someone off as an annoying asshole than it is to feel sorry for them? But then something happens — like this whiteboard note — and suddenly, you feel like the asshole…but you still resent the person for making you feel that way. And now it’s just awkward all around, because that person doesn’t want pity from an asshole like you, anyway. Sigh.

This note makes me sad, so I will choose to deal with these uncomfortable feelings by blaming the parents, even though I know that isn’t fair either. Now I feel sorry for the parents, too. Okay, I’m going to look at more pictures from the Puppy Bowl now.

related: Your one and only Wife #1

“My wife and I have been busy lately,” writes Sean in Vancouver, “and we forgot to get the newly-lost baby tooth from under my daughter’s pillow. We finally remembered a few days later. When my wife went in to slip some money under the pillow, I could hear her trying hard not to crack up.” When she came out (red-faced and laughing), to show me the note, I understood why.”

related: Passive-Aggressive Easter Bunny

Writes Brittney in California: “Apparently, my mom’s boyfriend was stuck with an insufficient amount of toilet paper, and being passive aggressive (because he really is) he decides to write a note about it and stick it on the mirror, rather than confront her.”

Mom’s response?

And, in the end….everybody loses!

related: I’m not here to wipe your dirty butt