Actually, I am offended…above all, by your atrocious spelling.

March 1st, 2010 · 110 comments

“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.

Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)

Hi Guys Look, you might find this note kinda Impertenant [sic] cos I don't engage in house-cleaning very often, but that is because I clean up after myself as I go! Plus I have a full time job so I'm too damn tierd [sic] of an evening to worry about other peoples mess, but lately I'ts [sic] become such a state that I've spent a couple of evenings: neatening the kitchen, taking out copious amounts of garbage, wiping down the work surfaces, and clearing the party debris out of the living room! the point of this note is to say that I WILL NOT be washing the mountin [sic] of dishes!

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

FILED UNDER: cleaning · dishes · martyr complex · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · You call that punctuation?


110 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Alex T. Valencic

    Did Niki say that she and Mike were being evicted for being untidy? And then she’s lecturing the others for the mess? Is she the pot or the kettle in this event?

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Jeff

      Right, so basically she wants everyone to clean up her mess before she moves out?

      If I was her roommate, I would correct all of her grammar and spelling mistakes in red pen.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Mo® bang

      Niki I guess you would say she is a sex fiend. I met her in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 3:59 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Hmm...

      Is that her full time job? No wonder she’s so tierd!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 9:01 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Mo® bang

      it may have something to do why she is being evicted…

      Mar 2, 2010 at 12:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Palomon bang

      “Bob.” Ain’t that a bitch.
      Mo. You sexy motherfucka!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   at2002

      *getting out my red pen*

      ‘If I ~were~ her roommate’, I’d correct all her grammar and spelling mistakes’

      Mar 3, 2010 at 6:16 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Casper

      Niki and mike could be the lease holders, I’ve had to write these letters before and the last thing I care about is how I’m spelling after Ive seen rotten milk in a cup on a counter tipped over and spilling over the cabinets, or dog shit all over the house or dishes stacked all over the sink, counters, oven, Kitchen table and even the floors.
      Poor niki for having to clean after these dumb-dumbs.

      Mar 3, 2010 at 9:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mo® bang

    ♪ Wha’ts going on? ♬

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Ethnic Avenue

      I’ll tell you what’s going on: I’m hiring Niki’s Clean-As-You-Go and Neatening Maid Services from now on!

      Mar 1, 2010 at 7:51 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   cd

    Well I am sure she is just tierd of all the mountin of messes and wants to bring out the sledge hamer.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:46 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Mo® bang

      Hamer do’nt hurt ‘em!

      Mar 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   sleeps

      I want to be your sledge hamer. Why don’t you call my name?

      Mar 1, 2010 at 4:29 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Saysh

      Can’t Touch This!

      Mar 1, 2010 at 4:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Canthz_B bang

      A little Arm & Hamer would make the place smell really fresh.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 8:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   tennmom

      Miss. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime
      And grease in just a minute
      Miss. Clean will clean your whole house
      And everything that’s in it

      Mar 1, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Canthz_B bang

      That’s her job! Mr. Clean keeps track of the TV remote control…that’s hard work damn it!!!
      That sucker could slip between the sofa cushions at any given moment if not properly watched!
      Women just don’t get some things men do to keep the house running smoothly.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 12:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   tom

      sadly no shes just a retard

      Mar 2, 2010 at 6:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Fridge Pirate

    The rubbish in comunal areas was fucking delicious!

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:47 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   claw71 bang

    Ah, you have to love the ‘clean-as-I-go’ people. They’re always exempt from the general household chores because they never leave behind a mess. Well let me ask you a few questions little Miss As-I-go: Do you wipe down the windows everytime you opt to breathe? Since each breath increases the humdity of the room, dirt is more likely to stick to the windows. That dirt, by the way, is kicked up by foot traffic. Unless you have a Roomba sweeping a path in front of you, I think you might be contributing to that.

    Then there’s dust, 75% of which can be human skin. Are you meticulously exfoliating underwater every day? If not, you might be genetically linked to the dust.

    Look, it’s great if you don’t leave your panties hanging on the towel rack and even better if you run the Insinkerator when you dump your taco salad down the drain, but the last time I checked you’re still a disgusting human being who lives in a house. Shut up and run the Dyson every other week and don’t bitch about it when you’re done.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:53 pm   rating: 106  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Tim Kolb

      The answer to your question is YES. She has OCD. That is why she is so spazzed out by the other slobs living there. (It’s the kind of OCD that takes exception to bad grammer.)

      Mar 1, 2010 at 4:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   H for Toy bang

      But she has a full time JOB! Doesn’t that make her exempt from cleaning? It doesn’t? Crap. I’s better take care of my moutin of dishes.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 5:47 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Mike

      Can’t ewe feal the luv?

      Mar 2, 2010 at 9:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Claw! You’re back. I’m thumbing you for just being here!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 4:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   claw71 bang

      Thanks. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it but you have a hang nail. Don’t get me wrong, I like it a little rough but just in case you’re thumbing somebody else.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 6:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Slvrchelsea

      I think I love you. LOL

      Mar 3, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Tim Kolb

    Is NiKi and variations to that name common in the UK? I know several English friends with similiar names such as Nicy, Nicky, Nikky, etc…

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   QuarterRoy00 bang

    I engaged in a “big clean” last night and my colon feels great!

    Mar 1, 2010 at 3:58 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Pterosaur

      Careful, these pipes are old and can’t handle “big cleans.”

      THX,
      SANDRA

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:49 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   matty-wat

    Wow! Nice use of the word copious.
    Love to you all,
    Matty-wat
    X X X

    Mar 1, 2010 at 4:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   park rose bang

      It doesn’t amountin to a hill of beans in this crazy world.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 4:39 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Pterosaur

      +5 points for “copious” usage
      +25 for seamless paper positioning
      -400 for spelling
      -1,200 for irony
      -10,000 for clueless insanity

      Sorry, Niki, you still lose.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   thrall bang

    So much verbal garbage just to say, “Do your own damn dishes!” Or should I say “danm disehes?”

    Mar 1, 2010 at 4:01 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Jennifer

    Fuck you Niki.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 4:20 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Clumber

      Wait… Nikki Sixx? I thought he already…. ohhhh… {knowing, yet uncomfortable, glance}

      Mar 2, 2010 at 9:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Al

    Truly disgusting, with a capital ‘T’.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 4:38 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   GhostWriter bang

      ..and that rhymes with “P”, and that stands for “peoples mess” which I don’t stand for.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 8:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   sleeps

      TROUBLE! Oh yes we got trouble, friends, we got lots and lots of trouble.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 11:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   infant tyrone bang

      Niki = The Devil’s Tool

      *in The Music Man, The Devil’s Tool was “the game with the 15 numbered balls”, so maybe I spoke too soon…*

      **But…this just in from our Cavity (re)Searchers…Niki is believed
      to have (so far) six orifices…if she’s got 5 balls in 3 of those orifices,
      she’s still got room for the cue and a coupla sticks…challenger racks + winner breaks…stay tuned…Oops, where’s the chalkboard?**

      Mar 2, 2010 at 1:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   sleeps

      Niki just wants someone to do the dishes; never mind getting dandelions pulled, or the screen door patched, or the beefsteak pounded! Never mind pumping any water ’til her roommates are caught with the cistern empty on a Saturday night, and that’s trouble!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 2:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   tom

      no shes just a retard

      Mar 2, 2010 at 6:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Gandalf

      She’s okay with the “beefsteak” getting pounded, just not in the common areas.

      Mar 3, 2010 at 1:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   beth

    I bet Mike was really happy to be Niki’s co-perfect-pants-clean-as-you-go-ers. This note: it’s too much! It’s a thick forest of dysfunction! Niki (Nike?)! STOP! NOW! No more notes, no more spelling. I’m so dam teird!

    Mar 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Meg

    wow… I’m a bad speller, but even that was bad. I don’t think I can take it seriously if every other word is misspelled.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   pony girl

    That is some weird-ass notebook paper. How long must her notebook be?

    Mar 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   sami

      I had the exact same reaction. I’ve spent some time trying to find the seam that indicates a fresh sheet, but I can’t find it.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 6:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Dani

      The join is under “as evidenced by Mike and I’s approaching departure”. You can tell cos you can’t see the p’s in approaching, and there’s a new set of pins and a bit of shaddow.

      However, I don’t understand the use of phrases like “as evidenced by”, etc, and not basic spelling!

      Mar 1, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Fredella

      I think the seam is at the line “as evidenced by Mike & I’s approaching departure”–that line appears to be slightly whiter than the rest, probably because the top line of a second piece of paper has been attached to the underside of it (I guess she cut the white space that would have originally been at the top of the second piece of paper off before joining them).

      It is really hard to see and I don’t know how she lined the pieces of paper up that perfectly. Or why she bothered.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 7:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   spicytuna

      I believe it’s somewhere around the second set of push pins.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Hillary

      Fredella,
      It looks as though that top white space was not cut off, but underlapped beneath the first piece of paper. And I think she put the green and red pins directly on the end of the first sheet so that it flows seamlessly. If only she had put as much effort into her spelling!
      It DOES still look like abnormally long notebook paper, though.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Q

      Hillary FTW! You can see the slightly more dense stripe of white caused by the overlap against the darker background.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   infant tyrone bang

      Welcome back, PG!

      The notebook paper was purchased from the clearance bin in the gift shop of the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist in Turin, Italy.

      Originally part of a special order from the local (Turin) school notebook paper supplier based on the anticipated arrival of 103 visitors from the Croatian Regional Artists Polytechnic, the oversize notebooks were intended to facilitate to-scale drawings of the famous Shroud of Turin.

      Two of the notebooks were ultimately consigned to the clearance bin because a pair of Croatian art students never made it to the Cathedral.
      They had accessed the Internet site Youtube on the plane trip to Italy, had become enamored of the 95 Theses rap video, and had left the tour group, going on to become the Platinum-selling duo 2 Lutheran 2B 4Gott.

      The Croatian art students, on the other hand, went on to a lesser, but deadlier, level of notoriety. The liaison people at the Cathedral had not noticed that they were hosting over a hundred Croatian animation interns studying under a grant from Disney Corp. After returning to Croatia (and after a few Disney staff attorneys died in unexplained car explosions after serving the C.R.A.P. with intellectual property complaints), the students released a limited edition, bound collection of sketches, one by each student, titled Who’s Your Daddy, Cruella ? by 101 Dalmations.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 2:51 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   matty-wat

      TOO FUNNY I.T.! How did…what were…? 95 theses Rap video!? I am in awe!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 4:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.9   infant tyrone bang

      m-w,
      If you were thinking I had thought up the 95 Theses rap video idea, I’m flattered that my occasionally literary quirks and sparks here led you to believe that was possible…maybe if I had never seen it on Youtube I could have dreamed of it, but the real thing is beyond my current level of patience and maybe craft that res ipsa loquitur is the best footnote…here ’tis…

      Not sure if you mean you haven’t seen/heard it yet on Youtube.
      If so, YT link is below.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt5AJr0wls0

      There’s a small website devoted to it, too…
      http://www.95thesesrap.com/

      Laugh long/hard and indulge yourself !
      or as Dr. Leary said,
      “Take big bites…moderation is for monks.”

      Mar 2, 2010 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Tea_and_mixtapes

    When I saw the note I could have sworn it was my old house mate…She’d engage in the big clean now and then, and then brag about it. Well done, do you want a fucking medal?
    Just hoover once a week and stop leaving used sanitary towels on the end of the bath.

    Tim Kolb – Niki and variations there-of are usually derived from names like Nicola. Which for some reason parents fucking loved in the 80′s.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 5:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Clumber

      I don’t want to know WTF a sanitary towel is, do I?

      Rhetorical.

      Sorta’ like an iPad ?

      Mar 2, 2010 at 10:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   zenvelo

    ahhh, La Femme Nikita decides to speak with a pen, not a gun. She’s too busy cleaning up human detritus as she goes, not in one big sweep. She’s tired of taking out the human garbage…

    Mar 1, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   president_benson bang

    It’s so long! It’s like the Star Wars prologue of passive aggressive notes.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 5:43 pm   rating: 63  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Critical Grass bang

      There’s unrest among the roomates. Mike have declared his intentions to leave the Republic, and Niki is too busy cleaning up the party debris (whatever that is)…

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Shukes

      Mountin Frustration

      Episode 3

      Revenge of the Note

      War! The House is crumbling under the attacks from copious amounts of garbage. There are heroes on both sides, dirt is everywhere.

      In a stunning move, the tierd House-cleaner, Niki, has swept up the kitchen and left a note informing the housemate senate.

      As the note tries to inflict its will on the house with it’s poor spelling, two housemates lead a desperate mission to make fun of the note…

      Mar 4, 2010 at 12:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Andrizzle

    I don’t understand how she can use a word like “copious” yet she can’t spell “it’s” correctly. It just doe’snt make sense!

    Mar 1, 2010 at 5:48 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’ts “aposstrofee spesiffic dissleckcia”.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 8:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   HeatherW

      I was thinking the same thing – you can use “debris” appropriately but somehow the sentence “…I’m too damn tierd of an evening to worry” makes no sense at all. And did you mean “pertinent”, “important” or “impotent”???? Not sure I know what “impertenant” means!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 2:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   cinde

      I’m sure she meant “impertinent”, as in presumptuous.

      Mar 3, 2010 at 2:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   nasoccermom

    where the hell did she get a six hole punch?

    Mar 1, 2010 at 6:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      She deserves a six-hole punch.

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:01 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   matty-wat

      I’m tryna figure out which one is the six-hole. Is it..? This can’t be. Or maybe so. Can’t this be, Canthz B?

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Clumber

      Some holes need to be punched more than once, I suspect.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 10:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   chrys

    I’m intrigued by the party debris.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 6:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   claw71 bang

    Anybody remember Prince and his raunchy “Darling Nikki” ballad?

    I knew a girl named Niki
    guess you could say she was a note fiend
    She wouldn’t do the fucking dishes
    because the mountain was just obscene
    I said, I’ll just hang it on Mike
    but I found I was amiss
    when I read little Niki’s whine.

    Also, B-side bonus, same artist but you name the tune:

    I was annoyed when I wrote this
    so sue me if kills a tree.
    But I’m a ‘little cleaner’
    and big cleans aren’t for me

    I could go on. Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer” comes to mind. In all honesty this note should have been posted in chapters.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 7:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’m gonna party like it’s last century! :-)

      Mar 1, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   sleeps

      Yes. See also posts 1.2 and 3.2. Though I do love your own, personalized version of Darling Nikki, even better than the Foo Fighter’s version. What does CB get for naming that tune? Which, btw, was the theme of my senior prom. Creative, you know, since we were the Class of ’99.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 11:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   ME

    That’s really long paper….

    Mar 1, 2010 at 7:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Amanda

    The roommate situation makes her seem in her late teens or twenties, but her handwriting makes her seem like a six year old.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 7:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Critical Grass bang

    Anyone who writes a not as long as this one can’t call themselves subtle. You’re not subtle, Niki!

    Mar 1, 2010 at 9:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Gun Street Girl

    When I had roommates that bitched about cleaning even though most of the mess was theirs, I was always tempted to take the dishes/clothes/beer bottles of theirs I found in communal space and dump them on the offending party’s bed. Sure, the friendship would be over, but it would be SO satisfying.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 9:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Lisa

    My two best friends and I shared an apartment with a guy in college who was a slob. Didn’t clean as he went, and certainly never did the big cleans either. So we plotted to consistently do our own dishes as soon as they were dirtied and wait to see how many of his dishes accumulated in the sink before he got around to doing them.

    We had to start washing our dishes in the bathroom because we ran out of room in the kitchen sink.

    Then… THEN! He had the nerve to bitch, when the mess has spread halfway across the kitchen counter (though admittedly the counter was quite small) that NOBODY was doing dishes!! He didn’t like us very much when we revealed our evil plot.

    But at least he did the dishes.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Pterosaur

    You might find this comment kinda impertenant, but your spelling just gave me a seizure.

    Mar 1, 2010 at 9:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   snatchbeast

    While I appreciate the usage of BIG WORDS, like impertinent and copious, the poor spelling and grammar make me wonder how she manages to tie shoes. Or breathe.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 2:59 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Connie

      More importantly, our pipes can’t handle the “BIG WORDS” like copious.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 4:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   matt

    hmmm.
    “wiping down” the “work surfaces”
    I’d be interested to know what these ‘work surfaces’ are and what kind of ‘mess’ is on them ; )

    Mar 2, 2010 at 7:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   orinoco womble

    I just wonder what that “full time job” is. If it is cleaning hotel rooms, I will laugh myself sick. Or indeed elementary teech’ing.

    She reminds me of a foreign student I knew…whenever the subject of cleaning her shared apartment came up, she’d say “I didn’t come here to do that.” Apparently she didn’t come here to replace the food she stole from other people’s shelves in the shared fridge and cupboards, either. Or to do her own laundry. Or to clean up the bathroom after she had spent 2 hours doing a major makeover in there.

    I love the fact that the irony of her own note is lost on Niki. She and her squeeze are being evicted for untidyness by the landlady, but SHE is not to blame for the mess. “Clean as you go” in her lexicon means “clean what I feel like, when I feel like it.”

    But since she didn’t come here to clean…

    Mar 2, 2010 at 7:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Steven

    I don’t see anything wrong with this letter, why are you posting this?

    Mar 2, 2010 at 7:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   GhostWriter bang

      Your fake name is not fooling anyone, Niki.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 8:30 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #31.2   TacoSpice bang

      Good one.

      Mar 2, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Gavin

    Dear Niki,

    I got a bit confused, and wasn’t sure what category group I fall under, please could you draw me a spider diagram so I can carry out my designated response,

    Ta

    Mar 2, 2010 at 7:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   GhostWriter bang

    This note proves my theory. Some people have a fixed amount of knowledge space in their brains.

    Exhibit A: Niki – When she started reviewing her SAT vocabulary flash cards, she picked up “Copious” and “Debris” but lost “Mountain” and “Communal.”

    Getting into the right college is tricky these days. I’ve seen girls sacrifice all their memories of Lost and True Blood, just for a chance at Bryn Mawr.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 8:29 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Escape Goat

    I’m loving the “X X X” at the end of the note. They looked scratched in–witch kisses, I cam ‘em.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 8:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Q

    TL;DR.

    My eyes bled out due to that shitty note. I particularly like how she had a thesaurus next to her yet not a dictionary.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 9:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Clumber

    I triple-dog-dare anyone in that house to post a note next to this one on some scrap of paper with a red sharpie :

    “Blah, blah, blah – Niki’s on the rag again.”

    Mar 2, 2010 at 10:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Shukes

      Challenge Accepted!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 5:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #37   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    The best response to this note is no response at all. Then Niki can stew in her own juices, wondering what everybody’s thinking, or indeed if they pay any attention to her at all.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 12:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Sho

      We didn’t respond and the note just kept on getting longer and the spelling got poorer in her misdirected rage.

      Mar 3, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   TacoSpice bang

    Does anyone else simply tear up notes like this? My old roommate used to try this type of nonsense and I would throw his notes away before anyone else read them. Wicked fun.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 12:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   oh really

    As I was reading this, I was thinking, “this is exactly like my old college roommate, always acting like the gigantic messes she made or outrageous phone bills she ran up were other people’s responsibility, and like it was a generous act on her part to clean those messes or pay those bills.” Then, I got to the end, and saw the same spelling of Niki as my old roommate. Now, I can’t help wondering if she’s move to the UK to make life hell for people overseas for a while. If so, I hope the guys in the UK have a good medical plan, because I’m pretty sure she’s storing a petri dish in her knickers. While she was fond of the boys, she wasn’t so fond of protection.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 2:23 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   H for Toy bang

    Also, for the record. Team PAN commenters! I’ve been lurking for a little while – catching up on some of the older posts. The notes are funny, but the comments are even better! Thanks for all the times you’ve caused liquid to squirt out my nose. You’re the best!

    Mar 2, 2010 at 2:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Mo® bang

      Some of them really are the best part of it! :grin:

      Mar 2, 2010 at 2:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   T.U.M.

    I certainly HOPE nobody’s going to be mountin’ the dishes.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 2:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Woman on the Verge bang

    I would totally love to comment, but my eyes are still bleeding from the spelling and grammar.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   Hallie

    I think you might like this, it relates to the site a lot haha:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FCWq6-WxHA

    Mar 2, 2010 at 5:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   A.G.S

    Frankly I am more amazed at the sheer length of that piece of paper. Where do you find hole-punched sheets that long? Its the kind of astonishment I normally associate with clowns shoes or those giant souvenir pencils. Just great.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 5:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   TippingCows

      You can actually see where the top piece of paper was folded and the second piece of paper is attached to it. It’s not one piece of paper.

      Mar 3, 2010 at 2:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   wtf

    That woman is FUCKING insane … I speak from experience

    Mar 2, 2010 at 5:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Shukes

      True Dat!

      Mar 2, 2010 at 5:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #45.2   Sho

      Totally

      Mar 3, 2010 at 11:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #46   aaa bang

    Feelings are for pussies. Niki, stop having feelings and learn how to spell correctly. I mean, goddamn, you live in the birthplace of the English language and have no idea how to use it properly. I would cry a bit for the state society is in, but, you know…

    Mar 2, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   Rose

    Now I want to use ‘neatening’ in everyday speech.

    Mar 2, 2010 at 7:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   Suzanne

    She can spell “copious” right but she can’t spell “mountain” among so many others. Uhhhh, okay.

    Mar 3, 2010 at 11:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Fanboy Wife

    Good thing she’s moving!

    Mar 3, 2010 at 5:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #50   Max Time bang

    hey Niki write smaller letters! If i was the dude that saw that i would’nt read it especially cause around the time I would see it I would be all tired cause it would be the morning so I’d maybe have a hangover or somethin so I’d just be like “woah somebodies famous!! hahah fan mail FTW” and then go along my day passing along that dusty trail

    Mar 9, 2010 at 8:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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