Grandmothers live for thank you notes — receiving them, writing them, not-so-subtly inquiring whether one might be forthcoming.
Jennifer in Michigan received this gracious note of thanks after a Christmas visit to her Grandma. Cue the violins, please…
(If you can’t read Grandma cursive, just mouse over the note for a transcription.)
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have
63 responses so far ↓
#1
The Great Joe Bivins
This could be very easily innuendized, but I don’t work blue.
Mar 8, 2010 at 11:49 pm rating: 1
#2
Andrizzle
I couldn’t read that at all.
Mar 8, 2010 at 11:52 pm rating: 4
#3
not gen anything
Once a year might be too often, Grandma, since we’re running out of things to talk about.
Mar 8, 2010 at 11:55 pm rating: 20
#4
Fridge Pirate
Your jam and fattening nuts for Grandma were fucking delicious!
Mar 8, 2010 at 11:55 pm rating: 10
#5
AmbulanceGirl
It says:
C & J- Thank you so much for the jam and fattening nuts- which I like. It’s always nice to see you once a year.
My gosh C is still so handsome- Guess we don’t see you enough to have anything to visit about.
Love Always,
Your Grandma
Real subtle, Grandma.
Mar 8, 2010 at 11:58 pm rating: 4
#6
Tim Kolb
I know we don’t visit much but are we still in your will?
Mar 8, 2010 at 11:59 pm rating: 8
#7
park rose
Is the thank you pre-printed, or did grandma hand-stamp it? Maybe she’s got a system for her p.a.’ness. Two down, sixty more to go; hand me my stamp, would ya?
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:19 am rating: 6
#8
Canthz_B
Dear Grandma,
Nuts aren’t fattening…they’re mostly protein, so feel free to swallow.
C & J
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:20 am rating: 8
#9
park rose
Gosh, C is so handsome, but still a bit of a dumbwit. Guess he’s pretty to look at, but not much good at keeping up his side of the conversation. I hope he’s good in bed. Thank goodness once a year only comes around once. I don’t think I could have borne the mind-numbing dullness for much longer, and just think, I should have burned off all the calories from the fattening nuts just in time for the next visit. It will make for a good conversational gambit, don’t you think? Maybe you could brush C up on his legumes, and we could chat for hours.
Love always,
Your Grandma.
Thank You.
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:24 am rating: 8
#10
Critical Grass
Dear Grandma,
We came and we brought nuts. What more do you want?
Love alwa… Meh! Why bother?
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:53 am rating: 7
#11
TippingCows
What the hell is wrong with people? Why even send notes like this? Old people don’t have an excuse, either. Someone break into her house and steal all of her Ben-gay.
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:54 am rating: 10
#12
Amstrad
Glad this was posted, reminded me I was supposed to send flowers up for my Great-Grandmother’s 90th…
Mar 9, 2010 at 1:02 am rating: 5
#13
Miss Laura
Wow, I have no idea that my grandma had secret grandchildren named J&C that she never told us about. This handwriting looks almost just like hers, and I received many notes just like this over the years…that reminds me, I have a birthday card from her that I’ve been meaning to send in
Mar 9, 2010 at 7:36 am rating: 2
#14
matt
my gosh C is so handsome
( I still remember his charming looks the day i convinced him to dump you and live with me)
Thanks to my lovely cooking, C’s nuts have grown enormously and are tastier than ever.
N.B your assasination attempt was unsuccessful you cow. i may have run through an entire insulin pen after having that jam, but i am still very much alive and kicking.
xxoo From your everloving grandma
Mar 9, 2010 at 7:38 am rating: 4
#15
matty-wat
There’s no passive-aggression like Grandma’s passive-aggression. I love how she takes the time to write a thank you, but passive-aggressively can’t manage to address the note to their full names: Dear C & J, FU! Thx, G
Mar 9, 2010 at 7:43 am rating: 9
#16
blu_canary
Makes me miss my grandma. *sniff* No one did p.a. like grandma. She didn’t reserve hers just for notes, though. Notes, phone calls, in person. Come to think of it, I didn’t visit her much more than once a year, either.
Mar 9, 2010 at 8:19 am rating: 1
#17
Max Time
get some bread and then were talkin… ohhh yea!!!!
some jam and FATTENING NUTS!!! SANDWICH fo yo mouth foo!
Mar 9, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 2
#18
Woman on the Verge
Was Grandma expecting C to have gotten ugly? Why is he still so handsome?
Mar 9, 2010 at 8:38 am rating: 3
#19
Woman on the Verge
Dear Grandma,
We see you every Sunday. Dementia is a bitch, ain’t it?
Love,
C&J
Mar 9, 2010 at 8:39 am rating: 26
#20
laurie
Grandma’s clearly a cougar who’s just bitter she can’t get C all to herself. Old tramp!
Mar 9, 2010 at 8:45 am rating: 1
#21
claw71
Dear G:
Stop fishing for compliments. We all know you spent our inheritance on lipo, implants and a butt lift because you’re a vain old whore.
Love ,
J
PS: If you ever slip my boyfriend a roofie and reverse cowgirl him again I will shoot you in the fac–with a gun, not the way C did when you finished gumming him.
Mar 9, 2010 at 8:52 am rating: 10
#22
claw71
A little Geto Boys:
Damn it feels good be a grandma
A real grandma ass biddy writes her cards right
A real grandma ass biddy don’t spell names out
cuz a grandma ass biddy keeps your nerves tight
and a biddy’s always got a nice PAN
so her grandkids can go and bitch about her
and a grandma ass biddy don’t eat fatty nuts
cuz a grandma ass biddy’s got a goiter
and everything’s a slight in the mind of a grandma
cause grandma ass biddies are sick
scheming on your boyfriend 24/7
cuz a grandma ass biddy likes some dick
And all I gotta say to you money borrowing, college major changing, weird name spelling dramas
when your hips goes out–you wet your pants, whatcha gonna do
damn it feels good to be a grandma
Mar 9, 2010 at 9:19 am rating: 4
#23
shwonline
Dear Grandma,
I’ve got your fattening nuts right here.
C
Mar 9, 2010 at 10:22 am rating: 2
#24
Jill Terwilliger
Man, this thread is getting increasingly nsfw :p
Mar 9, 2010 at 11:47 am rating: 3
#25
oi
story time kids. So this is my aunt/grandmother(as in not immediate grandma) she lives three towns over. She always asks me to call and drop by. last year the big festival rolled around and I tried to call her several times and left two voice messages. finally after like three months she calls me and starts with(no how are you nothing just) oh you give up too early I would have tried every evening if I were you! I am like huh! what!? (I dread talking to her because she has always some perceived mistake on my part and would drone on that mistake and how I could have avoided for billion years )
She meant: even if I left two messages and tried calling her for a week, it was still my fault that she did not pick up the phone!
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:14 pm rating: 4
#26
oi
oh here is another, one of her many, antics!
when I first met her she asked me elaborate questions about my uncles and aunts and then she zeroed on one of my twin uncle’s whereabouts and stuff. I am like wow, she really really likes him! Then she asked me, in detail, about his wife’s family too. I am like whoa! I don’t know about her family! What’s up lady? out with it already.
so after like 30-45 minutes of interrogation she revealed the purpose. She wanted to let me know that even though we (as in my uncle’s family) are closer in relations with her than the uncle’s wife family with her, she was not invited in uncle’s wedding from our side but from the uncle’s in law’s side!
fun! yeah and this was about 20 years ago when I was a toddler and did not even know that she existed. she tried to guilt tripping me for my grand parents relations with her! I guess my grandparents knew her too well!
Mar 9, 2010 at 12:25 pm rating: 2
#27
claw71
Army wit Harmony
J, drop a load on ‘em
Old P P, how can I explain it
or maybe picture frame it
to make you visualize grandma hittin it
Old is your grandma
P is for people–scratch your hair mole
the last P well that’s not so simple
it’s sort a like another way to say vagina
except grandma’s plug ain’t quite a hymen.
It’s kind dry, a little rough and you’d even call it dusty
if she dribbles it can get musty
You ever have dinner at her house and get to start a yawnin
So she puts you on the couch turns up the heat and says she’ll see you in the mornin
Your boyfriend’s straight, he’s still awake and he’s kicked back just chillin
but your grandma’s got this look in her eye like she’s a sexual villain
His pants are down, his thing is out and she’s on it like a junkie
then she climbs on top and rides him out until he screams like a monkey.
That’s Old P P– grandma’s snatch– and your man be cold hittin it
And he’ll be back soon enough because there’s no way he’ll be quittin’ it
How many boyfriends know exactly what I’m gettin at?
You love the smell of Depends but no way you’re admitting that.
But every visit you can’t wait until you’re sniffing it
That’s Old P P, I know you like it but if you don’t here’s the menbership:
Ya down with Old P P
(Yeah you know me)
Ya Down with Old P P
(Oh yeah, baby)
Who’s down with Old P P
(Some cat named C)
Mar 9, 2010 at 2:21 pm rating: 4
#28
stream of bat's piss
Dear Grandma
When you croak, would it be ok if I got your stereo?
Love always
C
Mar 9, 2010 at 7:38 pm rating: 1
#29
Canthz_B
Christmas visits, jam and nuts are nice, but Grandma seems to prefer a July visit and a little of C’s summer sausage as well.
Mar 9, 2010 at 9:55 pm rating: 0
#30
Courtney
My grandmother oddly refers to me as “sister” not only in her passive aggressive “would like to see you more often” letters but also while referring to me in relation to her dachshund. o_o
Mar 9, 2010 at 11:37 pm rating: 0
#31 Sibling rivalry: the rift that keeps on giving | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people
[...] cleaning out boxes after her grandmother passed away, she stumbled upon a thank you note she had written to her grandparents years earlier. (“In my defense,” Sarah says, [...]
Jul 8, 2010 at 6:10 pm rating: 0
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