However please tell your cat... | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

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Princess Marmalade has been notified

March 24th, 2010 · 70 comments

“Recently our neighbour falsely accused us of sending him a (passive?) aggressive letter,” says Joe in the U.K. “He was not a happy bunny.” Before an all-out note war commenced, however, the real culprit was apparently identified. Joe received this sincere note of apology the next day.

Adds Joe: “We’re not really sure what the car thing is about — probably a reference to the original note we didn’t send!”

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

FILED UNDER: car · cats · neighbors · non-apology apology · Oops? · shit · U.K.

70 responses so far ↓

#1 Atheist Scum Unite!

Dear Note Writer:

I DID tell my cat to stop shitting in your front garden. From now on, she’ll be leaving all of her “presents” directly on your welcome mat.

Love,
3B

P.S. No one in the complex likes you, animals included.

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:46 pm rating: 28

reply to this comment
- #1.1 Woman on the Verge
  
  Dear Jackass,
  
  I told my cat not to shit in your garden. He said to not plant flowers in his toilet.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 3:39 pm rating: 72
- #1.2 oi
  
  Dear crazy ” h” dropper,
  I asked my cat not to shit in your garden. He says that he loves crapping when somebody touches his ears.
  truly yours,
  wrong neighbor.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 3:44 pm rating: 12
- #1.3 Peasant
  
  This is a golden gaslighting opportunity. Keep it simple.
  
  Dear Sir,
  
  The gentleman at XXX happens to be my father.
  
  Yours Truly,
  
  Neighbor
  
  P.S. I do not have a cat.
  
  P.P.S. Please tell those gentlemen who hang out behind your house all day to keep it down. My baby is trying to sleep.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 5:26 pm rating: 15
- #1.4 wright1
  
  Dear Neighbor,
  
  As per your instructions, I told the cat to stop shitting in your garden. Her indifferent, yet sinister silence did not bode well for your little green darlings. I suggest resurfacing your yard with a decorative concrete slab.
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 12:18 am rating: 19
- #1.5 AuntyBron
  
  Dear neighbor,
  
  Since I have an indoor cat your missive begs the question: Why the hell are you planting flowers in my cat’s commode?
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 12:30 am rating: 5
add to this thread
#2 gwan

Ha, e drops is hs even in writing! Classic!

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 28

reply to this comment
- #2.1 farcical aquatic ceremony
  
  What’s getting me is that he drops his ‘h’s INCONSISTENTLY…He wrote out most of his ‘hard’ ‘h’ sounds–”who”, “has”, “house”, etc.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 2:15 pm rating: 3
- #2.2 Mo®
  
  Oo righty o ‘e did ‘e did! Blimey guvenor e’s a bit of a nutter eh?
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 4:26 pm rating: 22
- #2.3 sleeps
  
  In ‘artford, ‘ereford and ‘ampshire, ‘urricanes ‘ardly ever ‘appen!
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 6:27 pm rating: 21
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#3 Mike

What gets me with this one is the writer’s apparent dislike for the letter ‘H.’ (H/is, h/as)

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm rating: 2

reply to this comment
#4 pilgrim

Re: Cat Leavings

No problem! We’ll tell the cat right away!

Fluffy, don’t poop in the neighbors garden anymore!

Taken care of. You’re welcome =)

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm rating: 9

reply to this comment
- #4.1 AuntyBron
  
  Yeah, ‘cuz you know MY cat always does what I tell him… Well, technically I don’t have a cat but if I did, boy, I’d make it mind me!
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 12:25 am rating: 5
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#5 QuarterRoy00

I wish I could write with a British accent and E’s and D’s in Def Leppard font….

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm rating: 15

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- #5.1 Mo®
  
  MY GOD you have cracked the code! Joe Elliot has obviously penned this mangled missive!
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 4:28 pm rating: 4
add to this thread
#6 Laura

I like a note written in a cheesy French accent!

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:55 pm rating: 5

reply to this comment
- #6.1 Mo®
  
  Gouda for you!
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 11:24 pm rating: 1
- #6.2 sleeps
  
  Go and boil your bottoms, you filthy English k-nig-its!
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 11:54 am rating: 2
- #6.3 Mo®
  
  I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 12:11 pm rating: 4
- #6.4 sleeps
  
  Now THAT’S a cheesy French accent! Mon dieu!
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 7:31 pm rating: 1
- #6.5 infanttyrone
  
  Edam straight it is !
  
  Mar 26, 2010 at 11:53 pm rating: 0
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#7 'Arry

I like ‘ow ‘e omits all the Hs from the start of ‘is words. Very authentic, mate.

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:56 pm rating: 4

reply to this comment
#8 adam

I told my cat to not crap in your garden. He said “sure thing master, i apologize”

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:57 pm rating: 13

reply to this comment
- #8.1 Mo®
  
  I say my good man Fluffy I wish to tell you something rather indelicate. Well there isn’t a good way to say it so here goes, You shant shat in the semi-detached neighbors garden. Well there it is and it had to be said.
  
  Meow?
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 4:34 pm rating: 45
- #8.2 Woman on the Verge
  
  I love you, Mo.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 4:50 pm rating: 1
- #8.3 AuntyBron
  
  The translation into feline: blah blah blah Fluffy blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 12:28 am rating: 7
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#9 Rachel

LOL because “telling” a cat to do something is going to make a difference. I’m also not sure if that guy said he’d never touch anyone’s car or anyone’s ear…

Mar 24, 2010 at 1:59 pm rating: 4

reply to this comment
- #9.1 CrimsonSky
  
  You know, I read it as ear first, too. Kind of creeped me out a bit.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 3:08 pm rating: 12
- #9.2 Mo®
  
  Sneaking in your house at night….slowly padding silently across your floor… coming closer as you sleep… reaching out… touching your… ear!
  
  EEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 4:31 pm rating: 12
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#10 SeaD

Well I am sure you ave “Told” your cat not to shit in his front garden, but cats typically ave no consideration. Seriously, what’s up with the random missing h’s?

edited to say, there were no posts when I mentioned all the same stuff over. woah, they all appeared at once. >:-/

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:12 pm rating: 2

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#11 JulesM

I just love how he takes the time, at the end of a note of apology, to reprimand Joe for a completely unrelated infraction.

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:14 pm rating: 19

reply to this comment
#12 beanster

i did, but she won’t listen. she only responds to communication in note form. perhaps you should send one her way.

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:15 pm rating: 10

reply to this comment
#13 GhostWriter

HaHaHa I like the part where you tell the cat not to shit in the garden.

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:38 pm rating: 7

reply to this comment
- #13.1 claw71
  
  Best comment ever. I hope you get word.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 2:57 pm rating: 9
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#14 claw71

Joe must have seen the other thread where the issue of wayward cats was discussed. I couldn’t help but notice the absence of confirmation that he has a cat or the presentation of a defense for said feline. Boo on you, Joe. The most PA thing about this note is the parting shot about your cat and you failed to provide us with context. What are you hiding from, Joe?

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:44 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #14.1 WaywardCat
  
  I must have caused that. I never ended up rereading the comments after I said whatever the heck it was I said.
  
  Oops?
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 4:55 pm rating: 0
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#15 Bunnee

“He was not a happy bunny.”

If bunny ain’t happy, no one’s happy.

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:53 pm rating: 9

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#16 claw71

Hey Joe
Where you going
with that cat in your hand?
Hey Joe
Where you going
with that cat in your hand?

I’m going down to shit on my neighbor’s
cause he sent me a note meant for another man
I’m going down to shit on my neighbor’s
cause he sent me a note meant for another man
I mean cat poo,

Mar 24, 2010 at 2:56 pm rating: 19

reply to this comment
#17 p4w4rr10r

Peraps e’s H-intolerant? Might I recommend Preparation-H?

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:02 pm rating: 7

reply to this comment
#18 oi

ear? why he has to clarify that he is not touching anybody’s ear?
oh I see I am not alone.

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:16 pm rating: 2

reply to this comment
#19 sarah

Its hard to get cats to listen to anything these days. You know, since they unionized. Sigh.

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:20 pm rating: 27

reply to this comment
#20 oi

I liked that his “E”s are very sharp when he talks about an “idiot” neighbor. As if he means to stab with those “E”s to the neighbor.

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:23 pm rating: 2

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#21 oi

aye, so was it suppose be to an apology note?
just like my coworker. I am sorry I meddled in your design but remember the restaurant you picked the other day? I did not like the service there.

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:27 pm rating: 13

reply to this comment
#22 claw71

Yesterday,
A note pissed me off in a big way
Now it looks as though my response went astray
Oh, a reprieve from yesterday.

Certainly,
I never touched a car that belongs not to me
but that jerk still sent a note to me
Oh, I wish he’d move–like yesterday

Why your cat
had to go
I don’t know
she probably can’t say

But you know, it’s still quite wrong
so tell her to quit
She did it last yesterday

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:30 pm rating: 6

reply to this comment
#23 oi

Who says that letter can not convey your emotions as your voice do?
look at this guy’s note:
that tiny “o” in sorry shows his regret over fighting with the wrong neighbor. but mind you that’s very small amount of regret behind it so only “o” is tiny.
then the stabbing, mad rage toward other neighbor is displayed with those sharp “E”s in the middle paragraphs.
and at the end you can see his defiance towards Joe by big “R” crossing the top line and “T” with wider top bars.
That guy is genius.

Mar 24, 2010 at 3:36 pm rating: 9

reply to this comment
#24 beth

Hello!!! Greetings and Salutations!!!
Sorry about the whole “I’m going to cut your head off and use it for bowling” debacle yesterday. I ‘ad the wrong idiots! It was the other idiot who’s selling ‘is ‘ouse. Loser. Anywho, I personally would never put cat shit in anyone’s exhaust pipe or move it two blocks away because I have anger issues. I am considerate, I am a gentleman!!!!
Oh, and P.S. Your idiot cat shits in my garden garden and I microwave it’s ass.
Cheerio and Pip Pip!!!!

Mar 24, 2010 at 4:37 pm rating: 8

reply to this comment
#25 beth

is it ok if the cat shits in his back garden?? mmm???

Mar 24, 2010 at 4:38 pm rating: 2

reply to this comment
#26 Limeliberator

There’s a retaliatory flaming bag of poop on it’s way. I just know it!

Mar 24, 2010 at 4:51 pm rating: 1

reply to this comment
#27 H for Toy

Is the neighbor actually sure it was Joe’s cat? After all, he has a history of getting his neighbors confused.

Mar 24, 2010 at 5:04 pm rating: 6

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#28 shwonline

Oh, sure — he CAN park anywhere, but he WANTS to park in the spot he shoveled out and reserved with a lawn chair.

*sits back with a smirk to watch the parking wars begin again*

Mar 24, 2010 at 5:48 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
- #28.1 H for Toy
  
  I was thinking of suggesting that it’s totally acceptable to shoot stray cats, just so I could start a “stray cats are people too” war, but one war per thread is probably enough.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 5:53 pm rating: 2
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#29 Wade

If I had a neighbour who could put a note through my door, I think I would walk small until he moved.

Mar 24, 2010 at 5:53 pm rating: 14

reply to this comment
- #29.1 sleeps
  
  Walk small = my new favorite saying. Gold star.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 9:28 pm rating: 2
- #29.2 molly ringwald
  
  i get my mail through a slot in the door, so any neighbor could potentially walk up and put anything in my slot (sounds dirty, i know).
  
  there is nothing creepier than the sound of the screen door opening, the rustling of paper, the creaking of the slot opening, and the sound of mail crashing on the hardwood floor.
  
  well, except maybe the sound of a phone off the hook. that is creepy.
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 9:55 am rating: 3
- #29.3 Mo®
  
  The calls and the mail is coming from…
  inside the building!
  *spooky music crescendo*
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 9:58 am rating: 1
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#30 Escape Goat

I explained the whole situation to my cat.

She said, “Meow.”

I guess we’re good.

Mar 24, 2010 at 6:44 pm rating: 10

reply to this comment
#31 farcical aquatic ceremony

Hello!!
Sorry for the turds in your garden–it turns out your gnome collection causes me to shit involuntarily. By the way–I’ve SEEN the way you touch everyone’s cars when you think no one’s looking; you’re DEFinitely going to ell.
Sincerely,
The Cat

Mar 24, 2010 at 7:01 pm rating: 12

reply to this comment
#32 wurdnurd

Also, tell your usband to please be considerate of others and not masturbate on the patio

Mar 24, 2010 at 7:59 pm rating: 6

reply to this comment
- #32.1 Silly Goose
  
  or the neighborhood cars.
  
  Mar 24, 2010 at 8:15 pm rating: 4
- #32.2 Woman on the Verge
  
  or the neighborhood cats.
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 9:32 am rating: 3
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#33 Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

My cats shit IN the garden. Shitting ON the garden seems like a much larger project.

Is it just me?

Mar 24, 2010 at 8:11 pm rating: 7

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#34 TheOldSchool

It’s bad enough that one can’t even leave his idjit neighbors a semi-coherent, threatening and ‘ostile note that wrongly accuses them of imaginary slights without ‘aving to worry about it winding up on PAN.

But when one actually takes the time to scribble out a semi-coherent, threatening and ‘ostile apology, only to find that it ‘as wound up on PAN — well then, maybe these idjits shouldn’t profess surprise when their cat goes missing, now, should they?

Mar 24, 2010 at 8:37 pm rating: 3

reply to this comment
#35 Canthz_B

Must have been written by Vincent van Gogh’s former girlfriend.
She hasn’t touched an ear or accepted delivery of a package in years.

Mar 25, 2010 at 1:20 am rating: 3

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#36 snatchbeast

ooo, one of the rare hphobics!

Mar 25, 2010 at 3:55 am rating: 1

reply to this comment
#37 poperechny

She said, “By.”

Mar 25, 2010 at 4:05 am rating: 0

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#38 DanielMac

That cat was fucking delicious.

Mar 25, 2010 at 6:34 am rating: 1

reply to this comment
- #38.1 Woman on the Verge
  
  I hate you.
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 9:32 am rating: 5
- #38.2 Mo®
  
  Kung Pao Kitteh!
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 9:53 am rating: 1
- #38.3 sleeps
  
  NEDM
  
  Mar 25, 2010 at 11:56 am rating: 0
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#39 Hit-and-run drivers send the worst get well cards | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

[...] Sorry about yesterday, but… [...]

Nov 11, 2010 at 8:59 pm rating: 0

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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

Princess Marmalade has been notified

March 24th, 2010 · 70 comments

70 responses so far ↓

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