Our submitter and his wife in Loveland, Colorado used to work the night shift together, and they’d generally get home around 3 or 4 in the morning. “We did try our best to keep quiet,” our submitter says…but apparently their best wasn’t good enough for one of their neighbors. They never actually met this particular neighbor, but they did find this note on their door one night.
This note appears to be the work of the a non-native English speaker, so it’s not the grammar here that I’d like to draw attention to. Actually, what impressed me is what a perfectly clear picture this note paints of the writer’s mental state. ”I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!” — complete with the six trailing exclamation points — does that not just say it all?
![Be quiet!!!! You make to [sic] loud at nite!! Please not make loud!! I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4025/4438589913_806b986b40.jpg "Be quiet!!!! You make to [sic] loud at nite!! Please not make loud!! I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!")
related: euphemisms of disturb
77 responses so far ↓
#1
Isabel
Was this written by professor Xavier? lmao!!
Mar 25, 2010 at 10:56 am rating: 15
#2
Hai Dee
I like how the exclamation points get progressively larger and larger until the last one loses its dot.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:00 am rating: 35
#3
Mills
I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!
Dude, they make meds for that now.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:05 am rating: 49
#4
tristanheydt
“And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.”
-Terry Pratchett, Maskerade
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:09 am rating: 36
#5
claw71
Thanks to the global reach of PAN and certain provisions in the Patriot Act, an unknown government agency will soon deploy in Loveland and noisy neighbors getting home from the late shift will quickly become the least of this author’s worries. He’d better hope that his powers satisfy this agency’s needs because these aren’t the kind of people who simply issue a “my bad” and send you on your way if things don’t work out.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:13 am rating: 9
#6
Quite Contrary
How do you not *make* loud?
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:23 am rating: 4
#7
jaywalke
I can hear you in my mind, but I feel you–truly, madly, deeply–in my clavicle.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:23 am rating: 12
#8
megan v
I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!|.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:24 am rating: 15
#9
Woman on the Verge
My son, in 3rd grade, was asked to explain why the iron filings moved when the magnet was placed near them. He wrote: “Well, actually, I think I can see them moving with my mind.” He should have received points just for the entertainment value.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:26 am rating: 19
#10
1tba
sorry to disappoint you guys, but these are not the words of a psychopathic schizo who hears voices. Don’t know what the writers first language ist, but I’m pretty sure that something like “I can hear you in my head” (which many non-native english speaker confuse with “mind”)is a common phrase in that language for hearing something that feels too loud.
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:30 am rating: 6
#11
oi
ok so this guy always comes home late at night and kicks remove his shoes off one by one making big racket. His neighbor always wakes up from this noise. One day he confronts our guy and our guy apologizes and says that he won’t do it anymore. He comes late at night and as usual kicks off his left shoe . Then he remembers the complaint and removes the right shoe quietly and goes to sleep. Suddenly he hears loud and ferocious knocking on the door and finds disheveled neighbor on the threshold. The neighbor yells at him practically inches from his face : When are you gonna throw your other shoe? damn it!
Note writer anticipates that noise so much that she can hear them in her mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:31 am rating: 19
#12
Mo®
Sometimes when a man and a wife get home from a long night at work they just want to make loud. If the mood is right and the wine is fine they make it real loud!!!!!
Searching lips and tongues exploring, hands groping and caressing. Limbs entwined with carnal intent. Go back to the Kasbah and live in a tent!
bow chicka wow wow!
Mar 25, 2010 at 11:37 am rating: 22
#13
Clare
It was the beating of his HIDEOUS HEART!
Mar 25, 2010 at 12:16 pm rating: 37
#14
Jason
I have always been impressed at humanity’s general lack of ability to understand the difference between trying, halfassedly, to be quiet and actually being quiet.
Mar 25, 2010 at 12:21 pm rating: 15
#15
R.M.
I can hear you in my plane, I can hear you in my train! I can hear you in a box, I can hear you with my foxy fox!!! – Dr. Seuss’ greatest novel
Mar 25, 2010 at 12:35 pm rating: 17
#16
splint chesthair
Some people were just no designed for apartment living. Squeaky floors betray the slightest movement. I know my upstairs neighbor runs to bathroom immediately after sex. I mean immediately. It’s like squeak…squeak…squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak…jump…run run run run…faucet sounds…toilet flush. Everytime!
Mar 25, 2010 at 1:20 pm rating: 13
#17
oi
what’s up with that hallowed T?
Mar 25, 2010 at 1:39 pm rating: 0
#18
Heather
Nothing like makin’ loud in Loveland.
Buuuhhhh.
Mar 25, 2010 at 1:40 pm rating: 3
#19
veritybrown
Weird thought here, but maybe the note writer is deaf? Perhaps whatever the neighbors are doing when they get home sets off vibrations, more so than actual noise, and the vibrations jar the note writer awake? That would make sense of both the strange assertion and the bad grammar. (It was actually the bad grammar that made me think of this, because several members of my husband’s family are deaf, and they write with this “accent,” because they use ASL syntax instead of English syntax.)
Mar 25, 2010 at 2:04 pm rating: 3
#20
Slow Gin
I love moments of disturb … in my mind.
Mar 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm rating: 2
#21
claw71
Air Supply…
Late nite please you whisper
make noise you make cry
no nite time play like dancers
quiet time please you try
in my mind i no can take it
please you try or I scream
noise make me try to kill you
it come to me in my dream
I don’t no how I write you
I no have phone number I call
How can you try do it
Make the loud, out of nothing at all
Mar 25, 2010 at 3:27 pm rating: 2
#22
the Librarian
Breasts weren’t working for me, so I threw my breasts away. I threw them out the window of my Lamborghini…in my mind. No, I threw them out the window of my Ford Fiesta, actually…in my mind. I threw them out, over the handlebars, threw them out the window of my bicycle…in my fucking head.
Mar 25, 2010 at 6:12 pm rating: 1
#23
UnclGhost
It looks kinda like “MIND!!!!!1.”
Mar 25, 2010 at 6:31 pm rating: 0
#24
Canthz_B
I think that if they “make” much too loudly, perhaps a package of laxatives would have been a more appropriate gift to leave than a PA note.
Mar 25, 2010 at 7:49 pm rating: 1
#25
Odious
Most of the notes presented ere make me shake my ead, some make me crack a smile, others are simply orrible. This one really made me laugh. Onest! Not sure why this strikes me as being so funny. One more appy customer!
Mar 25, 2010 at 8:04 pm rating: 0
#26
no_need
I’m almost to the point of writing a note like this to my housemate in the bedroom above me – I swear she keeps a pet elephant in her room :p Now I know – all I have to do is tell her I CAN HEAR HER IN MY MIND!!!!!!
Mar 26, 2010 at 8:00 am rating: 0
#27
Canthz_B
Whoa! The orderly line of his human mind has finally gone berserk.
In fact, his is a mind I wouldn’t want to cross!
Mar 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed