74 responses so far ↓

• #1   QuarterRoy00

  I bet Cam’ron isn’t sorry…

  Mar 29, 2010 at 12:36 pm   rating: 5  
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• #2   Diana

  I hate getting smaced in the privets.

  Mar 29, 2010 at 12:53 pm   rating: 30  
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  • #2.1   sleeps

    That’s why I keep my privets well-trimmed.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 12:58 pm   rating: 24  
     

  • #2.2   Mo®

    Some people are like so smaced out man!

    Mar 29, 2010 at 1:47 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #2.3   claw71

    That’s why nobody’s responding to your craigslist ad.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 1:48 pm   rating: 10  
     

  • #2.4   mamason

    I’d pay good money to have my privets smaced.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm   rating: 9  
     

  • #2.5   Mo®

    How much?

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #2.6   park rose

    Once you get smaced in the privets, you know you done wrong, you’re getting your comeuppance, and it’s gonna get even worse.

    Spased in the privets is the most unbearable – pepper, mace, taser – you know you should have tied her hands up first . . .

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:33 pm   rating: 1  
     

  • #2.7   Canthz_B

    A smace in the hand is worth two in the privet.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 9:40 pm   rating: 18  
     

  • #2.8   Xenobiologista

    Camron should have planted, I dunno, holly or hawthorn or better yet, stinging nettles instead of privets. That’ll teach Max.

    Just in case anyone’s not clear… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Privet

    Mar 30, 2010 at 11:57 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #3   MarkI

  Well, at least you brought your daughter up to be honest!

  Mar 29, 2010 at 12:58 pm   rating: 15  
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• #4   loves.sugar

  Ahahaha! Those need to be framed and put on display!

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:00 pm   rating: 6  
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  • #4.1   claw71

    YEAH!

    (We’re talking about Camron’s privates, right? )

    Mar 29, 2010 at 1:46 pm   rating: 28  
     

  • #4.2   loves.sugar

    Maybe…

    Mar 30, 2010 at 7:11 pm   rating: 1  
     
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• #5   Atella

  I’m a little concerned about the second picture. I mean, that is great that he is apologizing for the smacking of the privates, but the star with “Be a good boy” written in it is slightly disturbing….

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:02 pm   rating: 43  
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  • #5.1   Mo®

    Uhhhh yeah just a tad ritual like…

    Mar 29, 2010 at 1:48 pm   rating: 7  
     

  • #5.2   shwonline

    The missing words in two empty arms of the star: “or else”.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:26 pm   rating: 37  
     

  • #5.3   Candy

    He’s also drawn a very minimalist/art deco set of ‘privets’ on the front of the card (you can just see them faintly through the other side of the paper)

    This kid has style.

    Mar 30, 2010 at 10:12 am   rating: 4  
     
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• #6   Astounder

  These are superb. I vote for a PAN Kiddie Note Special at least once a week!

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:09 pm   rating: 17  
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  • #6.1   Mo®

    Absofuckinglutely not!

    Mar 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm   rating: 34  
     

  • #6.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

    @Mo (a thumb up just wasn’t enough)
    I can already picture those super obnoxious parents flooding our poor webmistress with ‘entries’ in the hopes of getting to make & affix next to the sticker about their honor roll kid one saying “My (brat) was on PAN!”
    *barf*

    Mar 29, 2010 at 2:55 pm   rating: 15  
     

  • #6.3   Mo®

    Then in some weird meta the PAN entry ends up on STFU, Parents!

    Mar 29, 2010 at 3:25 pm   rating: 12  
     

  • #6.4   famine

    Mo and farcical aquatic ceremony: you rock! Took the words right out of my mouth.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 5:29 pm   rating: 5  
     
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• #7   Fuschia Grown

  Dear Daughter,

  I love you sometimes, too! Other times, I lock the front door and act surprised when you say that you don’t have a key.

  Conditionally yours,
  Mommy

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:10 pm   rating: 61  
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  • #7.1   Limeliberator

    Mrs. Slocombe, is that you?

    Mar 29, 2010 at 8:33 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #7.2   Mo®

    Miss Brahms are you free?

    doubleplusplus limeliberator!

    Mar 30, 2010 at 9:30 am   rating: 2  
     

  • #7.3   Fuschia Grown

    Alas, I am merely Fuschia. But I am delighted to have Mrs. Slocombe and her errant pussy represent me.

    Mar 30, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #7.4   Mo®

    Oh that does suit Madame!

    Mar 30, 2010 at 3:42 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #8   claw71

  I bet we wouldn’t be enjoying the first note if she had pressed for clarification. What do you mean sometimes, Mandie could have asked?

  Well mommy, her daughter would have replied, I sometimes don’t love you when you drink the grown up juice and take off all your clothes in front of Uncle Paul. I also don’t like it when Uncle Larry comes over when Daddy has to work late. I sometimes hate you when you burn me with cigarettes, too. But when you’re nice to me I love you very much.

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:44 pm   rating: 16  
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  • #8.1   park rose

    I think it’s clear, Claw. There are all kinds of love out there. Who are we to judge? Sometimes Mandie’s daughter is into Mommy Love; at other times it’s a different kind of relation.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:41 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #8.2   helloise

    You’re a pervert.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 7:23 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #8.3   park rose

    Claw, or myself? I’m usually patds. Might be a pervert in my privet time.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 8:24 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #8.4   anglophile

    Oh hai there, helloise! First day on PAN?

    Little tip for you: don’t take anything here seriously. You’ll sleep better.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 8:33 pm   rating: 7  
     

  • #8.5   Canthz_B

    Glo, Helloise usually gives the hints!

    Mar 29, 2010 at 9:38 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #8.6   prairielily

    Claw, are you telling us your real name is Larry?

    Mar 30, 2010 at 10:10 am   rating: 1  
     

  • #8.7   Scribbles the Monkey

    I think Helloise meant to say “You’re a privet.”

    Mar 30, 2010 at 5:43 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #9   claw71

  So this Max is a Freemason, isn’t he?

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm   rating: 11  
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  • #9.1   park rose

    He looks cute in his apron and funny hat.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:39 pm   rating: 3  
     

  • #9.2   Canthz_B

    Max is a Ninja Freemason, Master of the Square and Compass Technique.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 1  
     
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• #10   karen

  laughing so hard at the that’s why I keep my privates trimmed comment…lmao. no seriously at least she’s honest and I’m sure the private apologiizer was set up to write that

  Mar 29, 2010 at 1:53 pm   rating: 1  
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  • #10.1   sleeps

    Untrimmed hedgerows are no laughing matter! They can obstruct motorists’ view! It’s a matter of public safety! Sometimes I spend all weekend outside, trimming my privets. You can even make them into shapes. In fact, the schoolkids next door love it when I trim the privets into farm animal shapes.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 2:02 pm   rating: 22  
     

  • #10.2   Mo®

    The question mark is truly a stunner though!~

    Mar 29, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #10.3   park rose

    The Riddler trims his privets?

    Mar 29, 2010 at 4:42 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #10.4   Babzilla

    No, no sleeps… I think you meant to say: “it is a matter of pubic safety!”

    Mar 30, 2010 at 10:21 am   rating: 3  
     

  • #10.5   Scribbles the Monkey

    I wish my privets would grow a little bigger…

    Mar 30, 2010 at 5:51 pm   rating: 0  
     

  • #10.6   sleeps

    “No pubic option!”

    Mar 30, 2010 at 6:32 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #11   Silence

  I wish people would write me apologies when they smack my privates.

  Or at least buy me dinner first.

  Mar 29, 2010 at 2:51 pm   rating: 17  
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  • #11.1   TheOldSchool

    He didn’t ‘smack’ them, he ‘smaced’ them.

    Smacing is when you hold a small spray bottle next to your privets and spray someone else in the face when they get near.

    It was a popular party gag back in the 40s and 50s. The best part of the experience is seeing the startled look on your would be servicer’s face when he or she pops back up.

    Note: always use water in the spray bottle. Never urine.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 10:34 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #11.2   meri

    hurts to laugh! hahahaha!

    Mar 29, 2010 at 11:06 pm   rating: 0  
     

  • #11.3   yodel

    you’re hilarious.

    Mar 30, 2010 at 2:07 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #12   H for Toy

  Is that a picture of Camron’s privets on the other side of the page?

  Mar 29, 2010 at 2:59 pm   rating: 5  
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  • #12.1   Mo®

    I think it may be a 8 x 10 color glossy reproduction of the crime with circles and arrows showing the approach, the wind up, and the getaway. This being the first in a series the aerial view was not ready at the time PAN went to press.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 3:29 pm   rating: 10  
     

  • #12.2   TheOldSchool

    I’ve just looked at this with 3-D glasses and it is totally obvious that the two figures on the flip side are French Kissing.

    Mar 29, 2010 at 9:56 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #13   Escape Goat

  Max, “Redrum. Redrum.” Ring a bell? If so, I’m on your side. (And I’m wearing a cup … permanently.)

  Mar 29, 2010 at 5:03 pm   rating: 2  
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• #14   humberthumbert

  Dear Mandie’s daughter: But you love me all the time don’t you, my sweet nymphet.

  Mar 29, 2010 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  
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• #15   Izze

  Dear Privet Smacer,
  I thought it was made clear to you that you were not allowed to contact me in anyway due to the restraining order. And stop sneaking your creepy pentacles into notes trying to use some sort of black magic on me to be a “good boy” or whatever the hell. That black magic you intended to use to smace my privets was not real, and neither are those. Get over your wicken privet smacing ways, and try to live life normally.
  Yours truly,
  Cam’ron.

  Mar 29, 2010 at 7:36 pm   rating: 2  
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• #16   Canthz_B

  Max, AKA Damien, is but a circle away from perfecting his first pentagram.
  He may be sorry today, but Camron will be very sorry tomorrow.

  Mar 29, 2010 at 8:22 pm   rating: 8  
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• #17   Limeliberator

  I like a good smacing…

  Mar 29, 2010 at 8:34 pm   rating: 1  
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• #18   xyzzy

  Aww, Mandie is only six years old, and has already learned how to write “U” instead of “you” like all the big girls!

  Max gets the star for being polite — my little brother sure didn’t give our then-stepdad a note of apology for smacing him in the privets while rough-housing at around the same age!

  Mar 29, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 2  
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  • #18.1   Meesh

    On a related note, I’m sorry for smacing your stepdad in the privets while… rough-housing.

    Mar 30, 2010 at 7:34 am   rating: 2  
     

  • #18.2   Canthz_B

    That wasn’t rough-housing…it was horseplay.

    Mar 30, 2010 at 8:15 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #19   Denny DelVecchio

  Wait, the second note was the mother’s response, right?

  Yours in Love,
  Denny DelVecchio

  Mar 29, 2010 at 8:44 pm   rating: 2  
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• #20   TheOldSchool

  I think someone should look up this “I. S.” character and mace his privets!

  Mar 29, 2010 at 9:42 pm   rating: 0  
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• #21   Escape Goat

  At least Max had the bawls to apologize his mistak.

  Mar 30, 2010 at 7:38 am   rating: 1  
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• #22   matty-wat

  “If a body smace a body comin’ through the privets”

  Mar 30, 2010 at 12:34 pm   rating: 5  
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  • #22.1   Mark

    Shut up, you phoney. You’re all phoneys!

    Mar 30, 2010 at 1:05 pm   rating: 3  
     
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• #23   Sam

  “Mommy – I love you sometimes”

  Nothing’s changed. I still love you, oh I still love you. Only slightly less than I used to.

  Mar 30, 2010 at 12:50 pm   rating: 1  
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• #24   Mo®

  ♬ I’m a smace cowboy
  Bet you weren’t ready for that
  I’m a smace cowboy
  I’m sure you know where it’s at
  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♫

  Mar 30, 2010 at 2:23 pm   rating: 0  
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• #25   T

  Dude, I have some from my 8 year old that would put those to shame.

  Kids are freakin’ hilarious.

  Mar 30, 2010 at 3:02 pm   rating: 1  
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  • #25.1   Scribbles the Monkey

    STFU, Parent.

    Mar 30, 2010 at 5:56 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #26   wurdnurd

  My privet used to be a sarjent – ’till my wife smaced it. She used her smacer – thingy, I think. And she’s NOT SORRY!!

  Mar 30, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 1  
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• #27   (Not) So Nice, (Not) So Smart | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

  [...] September 15th, 2010 · no comments Joe is an elementary school teacher in Long Beach, California. On the last day of summer school, he got this goodbye letter from one of his students. “It was really cute and sweet,” Joe says. “However, she does mention in the card that I am ‘not that smart.’ I asked her why she thought that, and apparently it’s because she saw me ask another teacher a question about grammar. Hilarious.” Brandy in Citrus Heights, California received a note with a similar mixed message from her then-six-year-old daughter, who’s now 14. Really, I’m just glad just this letter wasn’t signed “love, your girlfriend.” Because that would be not be cute. related: Mommy, I love you sometimes!!!! [...]

  Sep 15, 2010 at 6:44 pm   rating: 0  
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• #28   25 Funny Notes Written By Kids | HottestNewsFeed.com

  [...] Via: passiveaggressivenotes.com [...]

  Mar 1, 2012 at 8:45 pm   rating: 0  
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• #29   6 Troubling Mother’s Day Cards | NickMom Blog

  [...] [Via: Passive Aggressive Notes] [...]

  May 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm   rating: 0  
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