Oh, and NOW you tell me

March 31st, 2010 · 112 comments

As spotted by Brad at a ski lodge in Palmerton, Pennsylvania…

Hamburgers + cheeseburgers contain meat! Cannot be returned!

By Hickepedia at an office in Richmond, Virginia…

Please note: The Microwaves are for food use only!

By Kyle at his apartment building in Los Angeles…

Do not throw objects out the window - this includes flaming towels.  Thank you.

And by Leah at her office in Chicago…

This is NOT hand soap.

related: Is this a thing now?

FILED UNDER: food · microwave · office · WTF?


112 responses so far ↓

  • #1   adam

    The dumbing down of society?

    Mar 31, 2010 at 10:59 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   claw71 bang

      I don’t know about society but this comment thread sure didn’t get off to an inspiring start.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:43 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   adam

      Thanks for being mean.

      I wrote what came to mind after seeing the pictures.

      I’m sorry I didn’t write something as hilarious as what you’ve come up with further down the board.

      Rest assured I’m taking notes.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:13 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   bullwinkle

      wow, being a dick sure got off to a nice start though.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:16 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   park rose

      I love you adam.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:28 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Mo® bang

      Thanks for playing…

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   claw71 bang

      The secret, adam, is to post in quantity. That’s the first and only note you’ll ever need.

      I would also submit that I love you too–not superficial internet love like park rose offers but a deep, meaningful love that can only be expressed through insults and one-upmanship. Perhaps one day we’ll blow each other in a public restroom but it would not be a gay thing at all.

      It’s called bromance, adam, I wasn’t being mean to you, I was making a pass in a totally straight way.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:42 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Woman on the Verge bang

      Claw, you’re such a bromantic…

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:48 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   park rose bang

      I love you too, claw, superficially and all like.
      Oh, and I can’t do it at all, cos’ I’ve totally been flatlining, but This is Not a Love Song.

      Kind of fits, kind of. Like that glove and lubricant you just offered to shake Adam down with Adam’s hand with.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   TheOldSchool bang

      Just for once, I’d like to visit this site without being exposed to the same sort of sexual come-ons I see at my family reunions.

      Adam, Claw, Park Rose, and WotV: Please try to remember that there are those of us who enjoy passive-aggressive-style humor without the jokey passive aggressiveness.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 8:41 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   oi

      you meant jerky passive aggressive TOS?
      ok innuendos are not my strong suit.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 8:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   infanttyrone

      Bromo seltzer ?
      Getta rheum already…
      There was this one citizen wanted to palpate my orgones…
      So I said, ‘Why cancha just get physical like a human?’

      Apr 1, 2010 at 12:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   Woman on the Verge bang

      TOS, I was completely serious. Have you met claw? Hello?

      Apr 1, 2010 at 7:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Mamie

    I don’t know how you expect me to tell the difference between hand soap and coffee creamer before I’ve had my morning coffee.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:10 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   much to my chagrin

      Apparently, coffee inhibits people’s reading abilities. When I work the demo area at my job, there is always at least one customer who ignores the large sign that says “CREAM” on the cream dispenser and instead shakes a huge amount of stevia (3x sweeter than sugar) into their tiny sample cup of coffee because they think it’s powdered creamer. I used to warn people, but it’s really more fun just to watch them take that first sip.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   txBart

      Am I to understand that it is proper ettiquette to wash my hands with soap BEFORE I handle the community cream supply?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Hmmm

    So I was using the stove to fry up some meat when it caught on fire. I tried putting the fire out with a towel, but that caught on fire too. I didn’t want the whole place to burn down so I threw the towel out the window. Then later that day I see that some asshat posted a PA note about it.

    And I couldn’t even eat my burger cause it was burnt to a crisp from the fire and, of course, you can’t return them.

    Worst. Day. Ever.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:12 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   anglophile bang

      Could’ve been worse. You could have put hand soap in your coffee.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 12:15 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   GhostWriter bang

      Slather some Coffee-mate into those 2nd degree burns, and they won’t scar.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 12:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      Hmm, kitchen sink vs. passerby’s head…I think I’d opt for the passerby’s head too.
      I hate cleaning ashes out of my kitchen sink…you should have seen the mess cremating Peter the Hamster made!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 10:55 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   infanttyrone

      A-a-and Palm Sunday ?
      Fuggedaboutit….Jesus H. on a pyre-o-maniacs.
      Put Cadbury Creme in your java…accept no substitutes…
      Happy Ether !

      Apr 1, 2010 at 12:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Woman on the Verge bang

    Thank you, Captain Obvious, for averting these potential disastrous misunderstandings. Now excuse me while I extinguish my flaming microwaved towel with this non-dairy creamer.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:17 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mark bang

      On a slightly different note, I recommend that everybody try to extinguish a fire with POWDERED non-dairy creamer.

      *note: this is not an actual recommendation, and Mark disclaims any and all responsibility for the large fireball that results from application of powdered non-dairy creamer to an ignition source* *for realz*

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Aksijuice

    It’s reassuring to know I’m not the only person to try and use a Coffee-Mate creamer pump as hand soap. It really added to my hungover morning – I smelled delicious and creamy!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:18 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   claw71 bang

      In my experience people who are hungover and creamy rarely smell delicious.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:47 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Aksijuice

      I really did smell amazing. It was some of that nasty (Well, especially so, even by CM standards) “Pumpkin Spice” mixed with the Smell Of Shame. Somehow the combination made delicious.

      My theory is something along the lines of “Stinky Toe” (from The Angry Beavers): Stinky + Stinky = Not Stinky.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 12:22 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   MrsRochester

    this is not handsoap.
    there is no spoon.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Mark bang

      There is only Zuul.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:38 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   claw71 bang

      Are you the gatekeeper?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Mo® bang

      A giant Slor?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Um…

      Take me now, subcreature.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 7:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   TippingCows

      What did you do, Ray?

      Apr 1, 2010 at 9:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

      Apr 2, 2010 at 3:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Gail

    Whoever wrote the note on the microwave clearly doesn’t get geeks.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Pterosaur

      Do you think it was the sparking tinfoil test or the toasting CD test?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 4:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   claw71 bang

      Seeing as how it’s Richmond, Virginia I’m guessing that somebody was either trying to burn a cross, dry tobacco,or loosen up an old roll of duct tape.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Deeba

      It may be because it’s from a building full of geeks- chemists sometimes conduct reactions in kitchen microwaves, so it’s not unusual for a microwave in a lab’s breakroom to have a sign like this.

      Apr 1, 2010 at 5:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Zsa

      Nuking hard drives to clear the memory (at least that is what they said when I asked “WTF are you doing and WHY?”) leaves a much sought after tinny after-taste on food for the next several days.
      Kinda like licking a battery and then eating. Not that I’ve ever tried that…. oops, point is we DON’T have these notes at my office.

      Apr 3, 2010 at 12:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   claw71 bang

    The list of things Coffee Mate is not happens to be much longer than we can publish here, but among them is ‘something you want to put in your coffee’.

    It is, however, a surprisingly effective alternative to intimate lubrication if you’re a little tired of the phony mint and cinnamon flavors that proliferate the market.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:42 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   prairielily

      Claw, I was going to make that joke myself. Now I’m afraid that I’ve been lurking on PAN reading all of your comments for far too long.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Mike

      I’m surprised nobody has written “It’s not cream, either” below that sign.

      I am definitely the type of person who might accidentally pump the coffee mate onto my hands at 8 am. The sign probably wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 6:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   TheOldSchool bang

      When the moment is right, but you’re not quite ready, the creamer from a coffee mate pump makes for a surprisingly effective lubricant.

      True, it doesn’t have the same zesty taste as Aqualube or KY, but few things do.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   oi bang

    coffee mate sucks. If you are suffering from constipation and want to induce throw up, coffee mate is sure fire. [just get a cup of piping hot water and add stir/dissolve spoonful coffee mate, the odor, it will ooze out, is vile enough to induce puking. you don't even have to drink it!] or you don’t want to get drunk but still want to enjoy the “perks” of hangover, go coffee mated coffee.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:47 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   claw71 bang

    Blue Mountain is the ski resort in Palmerton, PA and, as a visitor to that gem of a slope I have to tell you, I think you could challenge the claim that their burgers contain what the FDA would define as ‘meat’.

    Of course, this revelation might be what has triggered a large enough surge in return requests to provoke the note in question. I don’t know about you, but if a food counter has to put up a sign like that I’m going to limit my noshing to a bag of chips and another Yuengling.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:56 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   ChronoGrl bang

    Does that mean that I can return all of my fuzzy vegetables? Because they’ve giving off a weird smell in the fridge…

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Bunnee

    But I love how soft Coffee Mate leaves my hands!!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:07 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Complex Flavor Profile bang

      you’re soaking in it…

      Apr 1, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   GhostWriter bang

    Top Ten Addendums to the 4th Note:

    (10) …but it will do in a pinch!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   GhostWriter bang

      (9) …so stop bringing it into the lavatory.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 12:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   GhostWriter bang

      (8) Note: Fergie- This Means You!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   ClearlyDemented

      It truly saddens me that my grandmother didn’t live long enough to have known of pumpable Coffee Mate. I’m going to get one surgically attached to my soul so I can bring it to her in heaven.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   GhostWriter bang

      (7) …nor is it an effective shaving cream substitute.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   quintessa

      (6)…or is it?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   GhostWriter bang

      (5) …despite its common nickname, “Poor Man’s Dial.”

      Mar 31, 2010 at 4:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   claw71 bang

      They did specify that it wasn’t hand soap.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.8   Canthz_B bang

      (4) …but it sure tastes a helluvalot like it!!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.9   RandyinReno

      (3) …for hand soap, please look in the door of the refrigerator, next to the pickle relish.

      Apr 1, 2010 at 1:22 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   shwonline bang

    You may, however, throw subjects out the window – this includes flaming peasants.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:25 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Fuschia Grown

      ‘Elp! ‘Elp! I’m bein’ oppressed!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 7:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Brunogirl

    Vegan burgers are the way to go… Pure grain fed.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      Can vegans eat the IHOP pancakes with the whipped cream face drawn on them?

      Gingerbread men? Animal crackers?

      That “eat nothing with a face” rule can be confusing, luckily porterhouse steaks don’t have faces!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:14 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   jamsy

    Hmmm, this might explain why my hands smell so mochalicious after I wash them at the office…

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   ClearlyDemented

    Just as the with plaintiff’s in the lawsuits that caused all ladders to have 47 warnings on them informing us not to dive off of them, I propose legislation to force these note-causers to be chemically castrated.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 12:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   shannon

    I work in a lab building and we have to (by safety regulation) put for food use and not for food use on all microwaves, refrigerators, and freezers.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   QuarterRoy00 bang

    Are we sure these weren’t all taken from Republican headquarters?

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   QuarterRoy00 bang

      Are we sure these weren’t all taken from Jay Leno’s Tonight Show offices?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   QuarterRoy00 bang

      Are we sure these weren’t all taken from …

      OK I ran out….

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Fuschia Grown

    Wait, the microwave is for food use only? Damn. Where will I nuke the babies when they won’t stop crying?

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:28 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Lost_N'_Confused

      I thought babies counted as food…

      Apr 3, 2010 at 1:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   clumber

      Paradoxically, they do not prior to being nuked, but do count after being nuked.

      Sort of a more practical Schrödinger’s Cat

      Apr 6, 2010 at 1:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Mo® bang

    Hamburgers and cheeseburgers contain meat… Soylent Green contains people. People! No Returns!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:33 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Pterosaur

      What? Soylent Green counts as “meat”?

      I’d better go make a sign. Customers are so picky these days…

      Mar 31, 2010 at 4:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Mo® bang

    Flaming arrows and boiling oil are okay in case of siege.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      But you can’t put the arrows in the microwave to ignite.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   claw71 bang

      Yes you can. You need something with a low flash point and you have to make sure that each arrow has a nucleation point or else the arrows will explode into flames when you take them out of the microwave but it can be done. They taught us that in Navy SEALS training. It was cool because that was the week Alton Brown came in and gave us a lesson on multi-taskers. Did you know you can make a silencer out of a rolling pin?

      By the way, has anybody ever noticed that in movies when somebody makes a microwave bomb it always manages to explode when the timer stops? It doesn’t work that way in real life. We lost a few good men in Sri Lanka because of that. And we would have won the bake off anyway if we hadn’t been disqualified for making bacon-flavored naan.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 1:57 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Will wrapping the arrow with, say, an obnoxious note help?

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Mo® bang

      Damn it…I remember that mission in Sri Lanka.
      George Zip was a good man. Why did we set it using the in-oven sensor?… why WHY!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 3:58 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   infanttyrone

      Are the Tamil Tigers the ones with the fight song that goes…

      Naan na
      na na na na na
      Hey hey hey goodbye ?

      Apr 1, 2010 at 1:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Sam

    Okay.. I’ll bite. What the hell are people using microwaves for except for food?

    Unless it’s nuking “peeps”. They are technically not food. And it’s really cool what happens.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   claw71 bang

      Sam, when you put the word “peeps” in quotation marks it leads us to believe that you mean it in a way that differs from the normally accepted definition. For some reason I have this image of you drugging your friends and stuffing them into a very large microwave oven, gleefully experimenting with different times and power settings to see what happens. I find this image very unsettling and it makes me like you a great deal.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:06 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Ehreeka

      There are rice-filled pillows that one can microwave to produce a heated pad for sore muscles. There are also gel-filled eye-masks that one can microwave to ease eyestrain. Someone can easily overheat the latter, causing it to explode and make a terrible mess. Of course, the average bored employee could microwave pens, rubber bands, et cetera to pass the lunch hour.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 6:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   xyzzy

      Leftover AOL install CDs are a fun thing to toss in the microwave… So are oldschool coffee cups that have gold detail on the top, especially if the person nuking it doesn’t realize anything will happen. *tries to look innocent and fails*

      Mar 31, 2010 at 8:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Canthz_B bang

      claw, Sam’s friends hate it when he puts them in the microwave.
      I mean, it really makes their blood boil!!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   beanster

      as a teenager a friend microwaved a toad.
      the overwhelming sense of guilt resulted in me being *shudder* an animal person.

      (but for real, it was pretty fascinating)

      Apr 1, 2010 at 8:26 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   PhishGirl

    Awesome. I am a waitress and one time this lady ordered a burger…and then she didn’t eat it. When I asked her if anything was wrong, she said that she was a vegetarian.

    Moron.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 1:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   ClearlyDemented

      I love when vegetarians order/buy meat and then don’t eat it. As if the animal is somehow happier being wasted instead of eaten.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 2:46 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   park rose bang

      Being wasted, being eaten. I’m not sure which one gives me the most pleasure.

      Mar 31, 2010 at 11:24 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Please, Park Rose. Who do you think you’re kidding?

      We all know that if we were burgers, we’d prefer to be wasted. (Assuming we were sane burgers.)

      According to Wikipedia, the average cow is comprised of 2024 Quarter-Pounders.

      Apr 1, 2010 at 12:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   infanttyrone

      rose,
      I get the sense that your ambiguity is based on a suboptimal quality
      of intoxicants or a less-than-consume(ate) quality of colleagues.

      If we can correlate proximity in the future, I am confident that you
      will be able to make an informed decision as to which is preferable.

      Don’t know which you’ll rate as tops, but can promise great meds
      and epic head if you’ll just close the classroom door behind you…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcBdiGBarfg

      ty

      P.S. Apologies to TOS…as the Lord-level geezer said in a Beyond the Fringe sketch, “Rape, sodomy, incest…why, I can get all that at home.”

      Apr 1, 2010 at 1:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   claw71 bang

    Jules: I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a quarter pound patty with cheese in Palmerton?

    Brad: No.

    Jules: Tell ‘em, Vincent.

    Vincent: A nonreturnable product, wit cheese.

    Jules: A nonreturnable product with cheese! You know why they call it that?

    Brad: Because of the shitty taste?

    Jules: Check out the big brain on Brad! You’re a smart motherfucker. That’s right. The shitty taste.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 2:12 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Gandalf

      Say “what?” again!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   quintessa

    These notes almost had me cracking up in Communications class. I wish I knew the story behind the first one, although I suspect the writer of the last one had him/herself confused the coffeemate for soap, with poor results.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 2:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Konnor

    The flaming towels one has an “In case of fire” sign next to it!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 3:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   wheezeew bang

    Do not defenenstrate flowels!!!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 4:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   wurdnurd

    Note to self: Replace Coffee Mate content with Ivory liquid. Enjoy the ensuing hilarity with secret smugness while considering the stupidity of those unsuspecting idiots who are too cheap to pay for good 7-11 coffee (with steamed milk, of course).

    Mar 31, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Mark bang

      Forget 7-11 coffee. With Ivory liquid, they would have 99-44 coffee!

      Mar 31, 2010 at 9:19 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Bunnee

      …with a nice froth on top, too!

      Apr 1, 2010 at 9:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   wurdnurd

    So, if you’re not food DON’T USE THE FUCKING MICROWAVE ! Christ Almighty!

    Mar 31, 2010 at 6:42 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   nativefloridian

    This sounds like a whole bunch of interesting stories…

    Mar 31, 2010 at 7:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Silly Goose

    Last pic:

    But can I use those napkins as toilet paper? Thanx.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Denny DelVecchio

    If someone in my office were using Coffee Mate for hand soap, I wouldn’t write a note–I’d quickly start a “Coffee Mate as Hand Soap” fund and rip that sign right down to make sure the practice continued indefinitely.

    In fact, I might go as far as to pay the offender to continue using it as hand soap.

    Yours in Love,
    Denny DelVecchio
    yournewbadhabit.blogspot.com

    Mar 31, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Canthz_B bang

    Somehow I don’t think the microwave note would affect Andrew Zimmerman very much.
    He thinks everything is “food”.

    Mar 31, 2010 at 11:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   TheOldSchool bang

    Why was Brad at this “ski lodge” in Palmerton?

    His story just doesn’t add up.

    Apr 1, 2010 at 12:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   AKS

    That hand soap was fucking delicious. Seriously. I think it’s the Hazelnut flavor.

    Apr 1, 2010 at 3:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   whatthe?

    This site really needs thumbs down as well.

    Apr 1, 2010 at 6:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’m not sure you’d be pleased with that.

      Apr 1, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Grant

    “I didn’t say I wanted to return the burger. I said I thought I was going to bring it back.”

    Apr 1, 2010 at 6:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   Canthz_B bang

    “The Microwaves” is a great name for a Rock Band.

    Smaller than Bootsy’s 1980 “Ultra Wave” though.

    Apr 1, 2010 at 8:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   flying gargoyle

    I work at MIT. These are *exactly* the kind of signs that would get posted around here!

    Apr 1, 2010 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   TippingCows

      Why is that – because everyone out there is so SMAHT?!

      Apr 1, 2010 at 9:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Fanboy Wife

    I like the creamer warning the best!

    Apr 3, 2010 at 11:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Coffee, mate? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com — funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

    [...] you don’t want to share your super-special non-dairy creamer/handsoap with the rest of the [...]

    Apr 7, 2010 at 1:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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