Entries from March 2010

Princess Marmalade has been notified

March 24th, 2010 · 70 Comments

“Recently our neighbour falsely accused us of sending him a (passive?) aggressive letter,” says Joe in the U.K. “He was not a happy bunny.” Before an all-out note war commenced, however, the real culprit was apparently identified. Joe received this sincere note of apology the next day.

HELLO!! SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY I'VE FOUND OUT WHO PUT THE NOTE THROUGH MY DOOR IT WAS THE IDIOT WHO LIVES AT [redacted] WHO HAS IS HOUSE UP FOR SALE I WOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYONE'S CAR AND HE CAN PARK ANYWHERE HE AS NO CONSIDERATION FOR ANYONE ELSE HOWEVER PLEASE TELL YOUR CAT NOT TO SHIT ON MY FRONT GARDEN

Adds Joe: “We’re not really sure what the car thing is about — probably a reference to the original note we didn’t send!”

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: car · cats · neighbors · non-apology apology · Oops? · shit · U.K.

Funny money

March 23rd, 2010 · 109 Comments

This first note, spotted by Nick, is from a school in New Jersey; the second, from DeAnna and Shawn, was taken at a school in Stony Brook, New York. Apart from those details… not really all that different, eh?

(I don’t think Monopoly-land has universal health care, though.)

THIS was stuck in the machine! Use real money and you'll get a real Drink! Use play money and everybody Gets NOTHING! Ms Joanne

Canadian $ is NOT real $

Love you, Canada! And your loonies, too.

related: putting 50 pennies in here is a hostile act

Tags: beverages · Canada · money · New Jersey · New York

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got Call of Duty 4 on pause

March 22nd, 2010 · 88 Comments

Jack and Sarah in Tacoma, Washington both spotted this note taped to the window of a coffee shop outside the Fort Lewis military base in Tillicum. While I particularly enjoy the slow crescendo of this note, I’m not sure the manager of the H&R Block across the street would feel the same.

Dear Tillicum Thieves, While I appreciate your initiative and hard work I'd like to suggest you not break our window. There is an H&R Block across the street and I'm certain their computers are much newer and nicer than ours. I live in the neighborhood and would appreciate you not stealing from a local non-profit that provides services to soldiers and veterans. Also, I will shoot you in the fucking face. Thanks! The Management

related: Raging against the little guy

Tags: most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · vandalism · Washington state

What exactly are you trying to say?

March 20th, 2010 · 127 Comments

Most office fridge notes — especially when they pertain to specialty “diet” items like, say, a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich — read something like this one (from a cubicle farm in Burbank, California).

Thank you sooo much for your kind consideration. I hope you enjoy it. And decide to join

Not so at Rocky‘s office in Austin, Texas…but office drama is never too hard to find in the shared fridge.

Please take one (or two) -Thanks  Are you saying I'm FAT?

Of course, you don’t even have to be a sentient being to fall into a similar trap.

If you’ve shopped online at Amazon.com lately, you might have noticed that they’ve starting suggesting using a custom “PayPhrase” to speed up express checkout. After placing a recent order, Rosalie in Seattle did a double-take when she saw the phrase Amazon picked for her.

Rosalie's huge ones

related: Sweet & Lowdown

Tags: food · kinda creepy · office fridge · smartass · stealing · WTF?

Old habits die…with a pout.

March 19th, 2010 · 187 Comments

“I found this note on my car after two days of parking in a certain (unmarked) spot on the street bordering my school,” says Shane in North Dakota. “Tomorrow, I’m so parking there.”

I'm gonna say this in the nicest possible way, don't park in my spot. I have parked here for 3 years. This isn't a threat I just don't want you parking in my spot. And neither do the people in this row.

related: Can you dig it?

Tags: cry me a freaking river · parking

Do you feel inspired now?

March 18th, 2010 · 198 Comments

At our submitter’s college dorm in Lexington, Kentucky, one of the RAs posts an inspirational quote on the bathroom door each week. When one of the residents questioned why those “thoughts/encouragements” always happened to come from the Bible, the RA responded with a new source of inspiration.

You know, the Bible isn't the only place to get inspiration quotes FYI.

related: No bread and circuses! But maybe an ice cream social?

Tags: college life · Lexington · note wars · RA

St. Patrick…the patron saint of Irish-Catholic guilt?

March 17th, 2010 · 72 Comments

“My mother-in-law is a devout Catholic,” our submitter says, “but my husband and sister-in-law do not hold the same beliefs” — much to the chagrin of their ever-guilt-tripping Mom. “We received this St. Patrick’s Day card addressed to my sister-in-law c/o my husband…even though she has her daughter’s address.”

Happy St Patty's Day! For my daughter who doesn't believe in anything anymore! Blessings of St. Patrick to you! Love and Peace and Joy, Your Mother! XOXO

related: theo(logical) fallacy

Tags: God · guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · signed with love · xoxo

How’s that for a low price guarantee?

March 16th, 2010 · 119 Comments

Wayne and his son were watching the Kite Festival in Huntington Beach, California when they noticed these signs outside a shop on the pier. Says Wayne: “It was a cool store.”

LOW PRICE GUARANTEE  We guarantee that you can ALWAYS find something for at least a little less than what you bought it for if you look long and hard enough. What's the point? You're here now.

PRICES SUBJECT TO CHANGE BASED ON CUSTOMER ATTITUDE - WE OFFER EXTREMELY HIGH QUALITY & EXTREMELY LOW PRICES....PICK ONE

HAGGLING POLICY  You're in Huntington Beach, Tijuana is about 3 hours south. Our pricing is excellent, and our service is even better. However, if you still want to try for entertainment value, we always enjoy an exceptional effort.

Approved Discounts

related: Just plane rude

Tags: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · CAPS LOCK · most popular notes of 2010 · retail hell

The cat came back…this time.

March 15th, 2010 · 151 Comments

“This note magically appeared one day in our letter box late last year from an obviously unhappy neighbour,” says Anthony in Melbourne, Australia. “To this day we still don’t know the cat-hater, the cat owner, or the cat.”

To the person that placed this tag on my cat:  For some reason you have chosen to place this tag on my cat instead of calling the phone number attached to his collar.  I would like to discuss this matter in a civilized manner and would appreciate if you contact me on the number below.

related: Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

Tags: cats · kinda creepy · Melbourne · neighbors · rebuttals

Is this chicken, what just hit me in the head, or is this fish?

March 12th, 2010 · 64 Comments

This week’s “WTF? Friday” contribution comes from Carey in Brooklyn, who spotted this warning taped to a telephone pole at a busy intersection in Long Island City, Queens. “I looked around carefully,” Carey says, “but there were no flying missiles to be seen.”

WARNING: Cans of tuna fish are being thrown out of windows on this corner. This is not a joke. Cans of tuna fish are being thrown out of windows on this corner. This is not a joke. A can of tuna fish was launched at a friend and I as we stood on the corner of 47th Avenue and 11th Street. Be careful you don't get hit in the head by one of these mysteriously flying cans! The culprit is a little coward, so keep your eyes open.

related: Passive-allergic

Tags: New York · Queens · visual aids · warning · WTF?