Entries from April 2010
Luckily, Liz in Houston convinced her work buddy not to forward this not-at-all-passive Jerry Springer-esque rant to the entire company e-mail list, as originally intended. (Otherwise, work buddy’s much-needed vacation might have turned out to be a permanent one.)
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
extra credit: How not to land an internship [gawker.com]
Tags: all-staff e-mail · elevator · hey fatty · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not so much passive-aggressive · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity
When you work in the fashion business — like our submitter, a sales associate at a trendy boutique — being “fashion forward” often translates to just “forward.”
Or (like Lisa‘s coworker), straight-up bitchy.
Sometimes (as Rhonda in Boston noticed) working in fashion is somewhat akin to being, say, a life coach.
Or, just as likely…a drug counselor.
related: Yo, sweaty beasts!
Tags: "customer service" · attire · drugs · retail hell · your/you're
Katie in Oklahoma City was cleaning out a box of wedding memorabilia when she rediscovered this note from her mother, written just after she paid for Katie’s wedding dress.
Although I know a lot of brides who would have immediately ripped this card (and the enclosed check) to bits, Katie accepted the gift with impressively good humor. “I found it funny,” she says, “because it’s just the way my Mom is. She signed my Dad’s name too, but it’s from her…just her.”
“Oh, and just FYI,” Katie adds, “I think I weighed 115 pounds at the time this note was written.”
related: Loose lips shrink hips?
extra credit: We hope there’s a Borg scale for every bride! [LIFE magazine, 1961]
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little insensitive · hey fatty · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2010 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · Oklahoma · signed with love · weddings and bridezillas
I’m sure these ladies thank their lucky stars every day that they have each other as roommates. Wouldn’t you?
related: Your trash stinks. Grow up, thanks.
Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · garbage · mean girls · Orlando · roommates · that's disgusting · whiteboard
One Saturday, John was in the basement watching the end of a football game when his 8-year-old daughter came down to ask when they’d be leaving for the beach. Just another 20 minutes or so, he told her.
“Eventually, the game ended and we went out,” John says. “But when I went to bed that night, I found this note sitting on my pillow. The tragedy of it all, combined with the warning — and offset by the pretty border and the flower — really make for a lovely package.”
related: Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid
Tags: Father-daughter notes · football · guilt trip · kids · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · TV · warning
Well, maybe all you need is a little perspective.
Kelly in Dallas spotted this notice at a metaphysical bookstore in Lewisville, Texas. Apparently, she says, the last time the fridge was defrosted, “they discovered several owl carcasses that were being stored there by the store’s resident Native American healer guy.” (Be careful, this fridge scares easily.)
Meanwhile, Belinda assures us that both bunny and cow parts were indeed claimed by her coworkers before the boss’s deadline. (“Only in Wisconsin!” she says.)
If you’ve ever seen the TV show Mythbusters, you won’t find this fridge note from their set too surprising…
But Becky in Portland, Oregon was definitely surprised when she discovered the warning on the hospital breakroom’s freezer door wasn’t a non sequitur.
related: The bathroom-stall booger epidemic
Tags: fridge · odor · office fridge · WTF?
So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?
Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?
Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?
Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?
Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.
related: Scatological Poetry Slam
Tags: Atlanta · clip art catastrophe · college life · D.C. · dishes · office · pure poetry · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · TL;DR · Winston-Salem
When Sarah saw this notice posted in the restroom of a Chicago movie theater, she says, “I was thrilled to find a company willing to admit what I have always secretly felt: that despite their tree-saving abilities, electric hand dryers suck.”
Scott was also thrilled to spot this sign in the men’s room of a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It’s mainly the incredibly bad spelling and punctuation that I love about it,” he says. (The less-than-incredible attempt to drum up excitement for those “fast and new hand blowers”? Not so much.)
related: And a very happy Earth Day to you!
extra credit: Air Hand Dryers May Leave Bacteria on Hands, Says Study [greendaily.com]
Tags: bathroom · energy usage · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · washing your hands
“I pass this billboard every day on my way home from work,” says our submitter from Tennessee. “Apparently, some tax breaks were given for Volkswagen to build a plant here in Chattanooga, which will eventually bring thousands of jobs to this area. This group is upset that not EVERYONE who is involved in constructing the plant was born in the United States.”
A side note from Ana in Guatemala (fifth flag from the left): “Guatemala is a very beautiful — albeit dangerous — country. Crime rates are through the roof, but in this small American-run inn, hope prevails…mostly.”
related: America the not-so-beautiful
Tags: "customer service" · casual xenophobia · Espanol · Guatemala · politics · sarcasm · Tennessee
“My 1-year-old likes to play with hair when she’s sleepy,” writes Michelle in Columbia, South Carolina…a habit which apparently didn’t go over so well at day care with the fair-haired Ms. Linda. [Hahahaha RAGE BLACKOUT emoticon!!!!]
related: We talked about the “stabbing” incident yesterday.
Tags: Columbia · guilt trip · hair · kids · Moms & Dads · oh no you didn't · South Carolina · visual aids