I don’t know what this note is really about — Shane in Dallas just said he found it on the bulletin board in his apartment building — but I know I definitely won’t be stopping by #2913 to “talk” it over.
(It just, uh, doesn’t sound like my scene.)
related: you can have the inflatable bananas
92 responses so far ↓
#1
Grumpy McGrumperson
“Scottish blinking balls” – that sounds like the main ingredient of some sort of regional, specialty dish that the natives won’t touch, but force on unsuspecting tourists…
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:27 am rating: 9
#2
oi
He has “talk” in quotation marks! How exactly he wants to talk it over and talking involves blinking balls too? talk about creepy porn plots.
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:30 am rating: 9
#3
QuarterRoy00
#2913 adds up to 15. That’s one of the numbers.
The Scottish blinking balls clearly belong to Desmond.
I blame the Smoke Monster.
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:32 am rating: 22
#4
tinkerbell2
I have a feeling if they did stop by they’d definitely leave without their balls.
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:33 am rating: 4
#5
Tina-cious.com
I really, really hate that my firewall at work blocks flickr, imageshack and all those free image hosting sites.
I can never see your posts (lord knows I never read at home!) LOL
Le sigh.
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:37 am rating: 0
#6
aaa
Oooh, it’s the real-life version of the Internet Tough Guy! Yeah, threatening violence in a PA note doesn’t make you look like a badass, it makes you look like a fucking pussy and fucking stupid, to boot. Bonus points if they shit themselves when the thief turns out to be a violent-ass motherfucker and shows up at their door with a crowbar.
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:49 am rating: 6
#7
shwonline
The blinking garden gnome would like his blinking balls back, thank you very blinking much.
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:09 pm rating: 19
#8
MarkI
I assume you get your blinky balls from a site like this: http://www.flashingblinkylights.com/flashing-balls-c-114_56.html – bizarre what you can find when you look.
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:15 pm rating: 0
#9
Aksijuice
Because adding in the quote marks not only make you look cool to your neighbors, but also makes sure you’ll get your stuff back.
Way to go #2913, you’re a real badass.
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:18 pm rating: 0
#10
Dawn
I’m still stuck on the fact that the ‘set’ only includes 7!!!!!! I thought sets were supposed to be even amounts??
Somehow, I don’t think “talk” really means talk – LOL
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:20 pm rating: 0
#11
Jenelle
If you can’t keep track of your balls, you don’t deserve a set.
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:25 pm rating: 17
#12
aaa
Steal blinking balls? Cool!
So they are angry? Who cares?
Their decor sucks balls
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:26 pm rating: 5
#13
Fuschia Grown
To the People At #2913
I’ll come over and “listen,” but trust me, I’ve already taken a complete set. My nips have never looked better.
The Blinking Scot
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:33 pm rating: 3
#14
farcical aquatic ceremony
To the people
who visited Scotland and thought
a set of 7 blinking garden balls would be
the classiest and most meaningful memento
to bring back with you:
you are an embarrassment to Texas, the U.S.,
and, hell, let’s be honest, the human race.
Thanks for the offer to chat, but I haven’t forgotten the other five! I’m removing
the blinking blots on the landscape
in installments to protect myself from their toxic tackiness.
Apr 1, 2010 at 12:46 pm rating: 8
#15
Mo®
The blinking balls are for clearance markers whilst wearing my kilt. It alerts loungers, wee people and Dinsdale the hedgehog to stand clear.
Apr 1, 2010 at 1:44 pm rating: 11
#16
Jonathan
Seven of every clean thing and two of every unclean thing. See, even the Bible says wash yer damn balls.
Apr 1, 2010 at 2:41 pm rating: 2
#17
TheOldSchool
If this couple had a set of seven blinking balls, why did the thief steal just two of them?
Something tells me that the fellow in 2913 has a secret that he’s not revealing to his wife.
I’d bet that Shane knows what the secret is.
Apr 1, 2010 at 2:48 pm rating: 1
#18
claw71
Look, people with bad taste are everywhere, even Scotland. Tacky garden ornaments aren’t magically more acceptable because they were purchased in Scotland. Odds are in favor of you finding a ‘made in China’ sticker on the bottom of those things anyway. You might find replacements at Tuesday Morning, if you rummage around in the clearance bin.
Blinking garden balls! I bet you probably bought blended whisky when you were over there too. Probably Dewar’s or Johnnie Walker Red at that.
Apr 1, 2010 at 3:04 pm rating: 5
#19
Escape Goat
Blink ‘em up, Dude! Blink ‘em up!
Apr 1, 2010 at 3:13 pm rating: 1
#20
creamy
Anyone else got that Paul Kelly song “little boy don’t lose your balls” going through their mind (probably just an australian thing).
Apr 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm rating: 1
#21
park rose
Ah, this note kilts me!
Apr 1, 2010 at 3:33 pm rating: 2
#22
Hmm...
Can’t they just grow a pair?
Apr 1, 2010 at 4:20 pm rating: 4
#23
TheOldSchool
How does one clean a pair a blinking balls without risking elocution?
Apr 1, 2010 at 4:30 pm rating: 0
#24
Mack The Knife
Och Aye The Blink
Apr 1, 2010 at 7:12 pm rating: 0
#25
Denny DelVecchio
The intimidation factor was on hellfire red until the wayward smiley emoticon at the end.
Hopefully he’ll consider it a teaching moment.
Yours in Love,
Denny DelVecchio
Apr 1, 2010 at 7:15 pm rating: 0
#26
Canthz_B
If Scottish balls didn’t go on the blink, two would comprise a full set, no?
Apr 1, 2010 at 10:47 pm rating: 1
#27
Canthz_B
Ah, the legendary Scottish frugality.
Normal decorating symmetry would demand an even number of blinking balls, but those crafty Scots have found a way to make due with 7 instead of 8.
That, or a set is actually 8 blinking balls and “someone” got taken like tourist!
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:04 pm rating: 0
#28
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
The Scots are too frugal to waste lights and batteries in garden balls.
I say “blinking” is a euphamistic expletive. i.e. “To the person who has two of our g*d d*mn garden balls…”
Apr 1, 2010 at 11:19 pm rating: 2
#29
neilwarner
Why stop only at 2 balls, when you can have 5 more?
and why mine don’t blink?
Apr 2, 2010 at 6:52 am rating: 0
#30
GhostWriter
HAHaha- I love that the note looks like it was filmed in SuperVision ™.
Apr 2, 2010 at 10:47 am rating: 0
#31
Long before dawn
You’re all so busy thinking about balls, you’ve overlooked the obvious…IT’S A TRAP! And I think you all just walked into it.
Apr 6, 2010 at 9:54 am rating: 0
#32
Ninny
I’m gonna dip my balls in it!
Apr 7, 2010 at 5:43 am rating: 0
#33
Duncan
Twenty-four year Scot;
I’ve never heard of such balls.
Why buy (or steal) them?
Apr 8, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 0
Comments are Closed